8 Simple Rules (2002) s02e06 Episode Script

1
-Oh, great.
I’m getting a huge zit.
-Where? I don’t see anything.
-Oh, don’t pretend like you
can’t see it. It’s right there.
And it’s getting
bigger by the second.
Please don’t make
me go to school.
-Okay, I get it.
Listen, I know today’s
gonna be difficult.
But we have to
start moving forward.
You’ve you’ve already
missed two weeks of school.
We just have to start
getting on with our lives.
-I just need one more day
with some hot compresses,
and I promise I’ll
go back tomorrow.
-Honey, I don’t think
staying home is the answer.
-Come on, Mom.
What’s the big deal
if we take one more
day to feel sad?
-Honey, I just think we all have
to start getting back to normal.
-Mom, if things were normal, Dad
would be the one
taking us to school.
-Yeah. Wearing those horrible,
old people slippers.
And making us ‘healthy’
sack lunches, that we
just threw out in the
first available trash can.'
Right, he was so lame.
- God, what a geek.
Dad.
-Look. I know this is tough.
I I don’t really feel like
going back to work today either.
But we have to.
So come on.
Let’s do it.
-Um, you’re gonna take
us to school in that?
Yeah.. What is that?
It’s a housecoat.
Well, maybe it’s called
a housecoat ‘cause you
should only wear it in the
privacy of your own house.
-What is the big deal?
No one’s gonna see me in the car.
Damn right, they’re
not. ‘Cause you’re
gonna drop us like
two blocks from school.
-Congratulations, Mom.
You’re just as lame as Dad.
-Hey now, wait a minute.
That’s so sweet.
So, go change.
And put a brush
through your hair.
- And a bra wouldn’t kill ya.
8 SIMPLE RULES ♪
-Wow. Who died?
Oh, my God.
I’m so sorry.
I can’t believe I said that.
What’s wrong with me?
-Bridget, nothing
is wrong with you.
This is all just really weird.
-Yeah, I know.
- Well, look, we have each other.
- Yes, we’ll do this together.
- We missed you guys so much.
- You did?
-But before I was an outcast,
persona 'au gratin'.
- Non grata.
- Oui.
-Truly, the group was not
the same without you.
- Uh, really?
- Yeah.
-It’s just like in Charlie’s
Angels how there’s a blonde,
and a brunette and a
kinda something else.
We are so glad to
have our blonde back.
I’m blonde.
Yeah right,
Danielle. So, get this:
We were all totally
obsessing about our
dates for the dance
on Friday night,
and some people weren’t getting
asked, and I won’t
name names Dana.
So we all decided
we’d go stag and
totally play the boys
against each other.
-Oh, I think under the
given circumstances that
-Oh, I love that.
-Bridget!
You’re really talking about this?
-Yeah, did you hear their
strategy? It is very clever.
-Yeah. About a stupid dance.
-Don’t you think this
inane conversation
is just a little bit too soon?
-Yeah, you’re right.
-But if it weren’t, oh my
gosh, I have the greatest idea
we plan a song list that is just
one hot, sexy song after another,
and then we torture the guys
by only dancing with each other.
-Now that is brilliant.
-No, I was just building off
what you were already doing.
No way, that was
way more brilliant.
No, well, you’re brillianter.
-Ugh nice life!
Oh, hey guys.
- You didn’t ring the doorbell.
- Yeah, that’s strange.
"Cause I always ring the doorbell
when I come into my own house".
-Well, maybe if
you’d have rung the
bell, you’d have
noticed that I fixed it.
-Oh, that’s nice.
Well, aren’t you gonna try it?
- What?
-The doorbell.
-I believe you that you fixed it.
-Well, when I said
I fixed it, maybe
I was being
unnecessarily modest.
You know, I’m
talking three hours at
the hardware store
trying out doorbells
‘til I found the
exact right one that
says, "This is where
the Hennessy’s live."
Rory, would you do the honor?
-Wow. You really nailed us.
-I know.
-Rory, did you do your homework?
-Actually, my teachers said
it was optional for me.
I could do it if I felt like it.
-Well, I’m sure they’re
just trying to be nice.
Everyone’s being
so weird, lately.
They picked me first for
football even though I suck.
Missy Kleinfeld who never
talks to me was talking to me.
And the cafeteria lady
gave me all this extra milk.
Apparently, pity milk
doesn’t come in chocolate.
-Hey, honey, how was school?
-Horrible. Everyone was all
fake and phony.
It made me sick.
God, I hate everyone.
All I want to do is be
alone for the rest of my life.
- Kerry!
- Bye guys.
- Quick.
Lock the door so Bridget
has to ring the bell.
- Hi.
- Damn.
You know, honey, I know
today was really rough..
..but you’re home now,
and it’s gonna be okay.
- What are you talking about?
- Your day at school.
Ring a bell?
- Rory.
- It was begging for it.
-Um, Mom, actually everyone
was really nice.
And there’s a dance
this weekend. So.
I’m gonna have
to get a new dress.
-Oh, honey, I’m really happy
that you’re adjusting but..
..we can’t buy you a new
dress for every occasion.
Oh, hmm, okay, but I don’t
know how I’m supposed to
torture guys with something
I’ve already worn before.
I do admit it’s possible.
I’ve done more with less.
-Rory, could you stop doing that?
-Grant you, I’m annoying.
But I’m not a magician.
-I’ll get it.
Hey, you fixed the doorbell.
- I love this guy.
-Kyle, I am so glad you’re here.
You know, Kerry’s
been really down.
I’m thinking maybe you
could take her someplace fun.
You know, like like an arcade.
- Yeah, sure of course.
- Okay, I’m gonna
give you money.
-Ah, 'Momma H', I will not take
your daughter out
and make you pay.
-Oh, Kyle, you’re
such a gentleman.
I insist.
- No, I insist.
- I don’t want to hear
another word about it.
Take the money.
- All right.
That’s it?
You want to play air hockey?
- I don’t know. - Oh, come on.
When you bend over, sometimes
I can see down your shirt.
- Kyle!
- Okay, yeah, I know.
Let’s do the dance
game. You always
kick my butt at the dance game.
-Yeah, that’s true.
-She smiles. She smiles.
-Yeah, okay, I can’t help but
laugh. You’re a
really bad dancer.
Well, I’m not that bad.
- No, you really are.
-I love you.
- What?
- You heard me.
Ah, there you are,
you little devils.
- What are you doing now?
- I’m installing dimmer switches.
'You’re welcome'.
-Uh, so, Dad, how long
were you planning on staying?
You know, just out of curiosity.
Oh, I see: ‘Thanks for
the dimmer switches, Dad.
But, don’t let the door hit
you on the ass on the way out.
- No, no, no, no.
-I’m I’m really glad
you’re here and
the kids are really
glad you’re here.
You can stay as long as you want.
It’s just you know, if you
wanna help maybe you could
help me with something
I actually need help with?
- Like?
I don’t know. Maybe groceries?
- Agh.
I’m not too good at groceries.
- Ahh
I can do them, but I just
don’t think it’s a man’s job.
-Okay, how about laundry?
-You’re joking.
-Well, I know, Dad, you know
Kerry has been really down.
Maybe you could talk to her, and
try to get to the
bottom of things.
-Ahh getting to
the bottom of things
was always your mother’s area.
-Yeah, and she’s
gone and left you.
Perhaps there’s a connection.
-No, I don’t see it.
-Oh, hi honey, how
was the arcade?
- I broke up with Kyle.
- Oh, no honey.
- What happened?
- It’s fine. Whatever.
-It just figures.
-How did you know
we went to the arcade?
-Well, you must have said that’s
where you were
going before you left.
-No, I didn’t.
-Well, then, you you know,
you said it when you got home.
No, didn’t say it then either.
-I guessed?
Oh, my God, that’s why Kyle
was suddenly Mister Big Spender.
You set the whole thing up.
- Oh, honey, I was
just trying to help.
Well, don’t.
Don’t help.
Just leave me and my
horrible life alone.
-So, Mom, get this
at the coffee shop I
was only at number
nine on my punch card
but I think the coffee
guy had a crush
on me so he gave
me my mochachinno..
..for free which was
so sweet, but yeah,
like I’m gonna go
out with a barrister.
Honey, a barrister is
a lawyer in England.
Oh, well, I guess
the degree doesn’t..
..ranslate because he’s
only making coffee here.
-Bridget, look, your sister’s
upstairs and she’s really upset,
so could you just tone the
cheeriness down a little.
- Oh, what else is new?
- What’s that supposed to mean?
Fruit cup girl thrives
on being depressed.
Fruit cup girl?
-Yeah, that’s what
the kids were calling
her today at school
because all she..
..would do was sit
alone in the cafeteria
picking at this
disgusting fruit cup.
-You know, Bridget,
you need to cool it.
-If Kerry wants to be sad it’s
her choice, it’s unfair that..
..I have to pretend like
everything’s
terrible when it isn’t.
-Honey, it’s only
been two weeks. Not
everyone is as
resilient as you are.
-It is not my fault that Kerry
is depressed!
God, I can’t believe I’m being
punished for being happy!
This place sucks!
-Sorry!
This place sucks.
Kerry? Honey? Can we talk?
- Go away!
-Look, I I was
just trying to help.
Bridge, you in there?
- Go away.
-Look, honey, I
shouldn’t have yelled
at you. I’m sorry.
I really am sorry.
- You already said that.
- I wasn’t talking to you.
-Good. Don’t talk to me.
You can buy a new
dress for the dance.
- Really?
‘Cause I know exactly
which one I’m gonna get.
It’s a red, which I know is not
usually my color,
but it really works.
I don’t think there’s a color
out there I can’t make prettier.
You’re buying her a
dress for the dance?
Well, I didn’t say we’ll see.
Now you’re going back on
your word? Unbelievable!
-God, no one says what they mean!
-I’m still getting
the dress, right?
- Uh, I guess. Yes.
- You’re the best.
-Gramp, can I ask you something?
Shoot.
- And you won’t tell anyone?
-I don’t really talk
to a lot of people.
-Okay, remember that
girl, Missy Kleinfeld?
She’s got this freckly
little nose, killer smile,
been in a bra since the
sixth grade, and really big
-I got it from ‘bra
in sixth grade.
A-nyway, she’s been offering
to help me catch up..
..on the work I missed when
I was gone from school.
And the thing is, I
don’t need any help.
But, I’ve been staring at
that bra for a lot of years,
and I’m just wondering, am
I taking advantage of her?
-Well, you know what I think?
I got a sneaky
suspicion this Missy.
Kleinfeld is taking
advantage of you.
She is? - Yeah.
- And you know what I say?
- Huh?
- Let her.
-My key didn’t work in the lock.
-I bet you’re pretty glad
I fixed the doorbell.
- What is going on?
- I changed the locks.
Now you have just one key to
open the front door and the back.
-Wow, actually, Dad, that
makes things a lot easier.
Except Gramps
already lost the key.
Ah, well it’s no big deal.
Someone just has to stay home at
all times to let
the rest of us in.
My vote is for Blabbermouth.
-Hey, honey, you okay?
-Oh, Do I look down?
Well, maybe you should hire
Kyle to take me somewhere.
Or I know, you could always
buy me a new dress.
You cannot speak to me that way.
I’m sorry.
I guess I should just be all fake
and sweet like Bridget..
..and take whatever my
little grubby hands can get.
-Kerry! Ugh!
-Okay, so were all gonna
go to Jenna’s, before
the dance, so we can
give each other makeovers.
-Ah, honey, is is that the dress
you bought with my credit card?
-Yeah.
Isn’t it great?
-I mean, you get
good boob dresses and
good butt dresses
and goodleg dresses,
but it’s hardly ever you get
a good boob butt leg dress.
- Know what I mean?
- Jiminy Christmas.
-Well, honey, I don’t
know, it’s a little.
-Slutty.
-Mom, you said I
could get any dress I
wanted and this was
the dress that I wanted.
-Well, have a good time.
-Thank you.
-What’s wrong?
I never would have
got this far before.
Dad would’ve never let
me go out like this.
He would have he
would have definitely
sent me upstairs to change and..
..told me to cover myself
up in some hideous sweater..
..and sit me down for an
hour lecture on how I should..
..respect myself because
guys only want one thing.
And I always hated it when
he did that.
I just want my dad back.
- Bridget. - Leave me alone!!
-None of my business.
Would you stop trying to
fix things and just help?
-Same to you, baby girl.
-Come here. Come here
I know.
Oh we lost your dad, you guys.
We lost him.
He’s gone.
And he’s not coming back.
But listen, there is no
right way to deal with this.
-I was just trying so hard
to be happy, you know.
Because, if I was
happy everything
would be normal,
and nothing’s normal.
It’s just not working.
-It’s okay.
-And I felt so guilty
that something
good was happening in my life..
..at the same time that this
terrible thing was happening.
W-ell, honey, what was happening?
What what was your good thing?
Kyle said I..
..I don’t know he was just
trying to be sweet.
-What did he say?
-It’s dumb. He said he loved me.
But, he doesn’t.
-Well, maybe he does.
-No, he’s just
feeling sorry for me.
-Listen there is no manual
on how to deal with this.
-It’s okay to be happy
when you’re happy.
-Honey, it’s okay to
be sad when you’re sad.
-God, and now I’m happy
because Bridget’s really sad!
I’m so screwed up!
-Oh, sweetheart,
we’re all screwed up.
The important
thing is that we stay
together and we
support each other.
I love you guys so much.
I love you, Mom.
- I love you, too.
Bridge?
- Yeah?
You’re too pretty for this dress.
What?
I just think it’s for some
girl who has to try really hard.
And you don’t.
You should respect yourself.
Like Dad was
always telling you to.
Because you deserve the best.
You deserve the best, too.
No, I don’t.
- No, listen.
What Kyle said
to you, he meant it.
How do you know?
Kyle and I went out
for a really long time.
- Yeah?
He never said it to me.
Hi.
- Hi.
-Come here.
-Kyle, why did you
say you loved me?
-Well see,
- when your dad died.
- Yeah, that’s what I thought.
No.
No, you felt sorry
for me. Never mind.
-No, that’s not it. It’s
just, when your dad
died, it it made me
realize that you have to..
..say the things that
you feel because
you might not get
another chance.
-Oh.
-Anything you feel like
you want to say back?
I’ll get back to you.
Hey, honey. You sure you
don’t want to go to the dance?
Yeah, I’m sure.
I think I’m just gonna
go upstairs and change.
Okay.
You know, Dad, you keep
working at this pace,
you’re gonna run out of
things to do around here.
-Not likely.
Okay; I’m listening.
What?
- Listening. It’s
a form of helping.
At night, it’s the worst.
I hear ambulances or a
noise and I jump up out
of the bed with this
scared, panicky feeling.
Only, I I don’t know
what I’m scared for
because what I’m scared
of already happened.
I still feel like he’s
gonna walk through that door.
-Okay and then you carry that and
divide the whole thing by 'x'.
-Wow, Missy, that is
some really tough stuff.
Maybe you could show me
how to do it one more time.
- Yeah, sure.
See, when you solve the equation
all the variables come together
and you wanna make
sure it’s on one step.
OOo