Fisk (2021) s02e06 Episode Script
Snitches Get Riches
1
- (TRAM BELL RINGS)
- (BIRDS TWITTER)
New boy's here. Hello, Viktor.
- Morning, Mr Chen.
- Morning, Viktor.
I thought a Gone Bananas
might be in order. Busy day ahead.
Now, I want to pick your brain
vis-a-vis Roz's upcoming
birthday celebrations. Any thoughts?
Depends do you want a one-off party
or a birthday week-type thing
with something fun every day?
I think a one-off thing is ample.
Shouldn't you be at your desk?
It's 8:07.
Well, technically,
I start at 9:00, Viktor.
Right, then, take that,
go and get a head-start on your day.
Yeah, you're in charge while Ray's away.
Mm. Good luck, everyone!
Really? Where's Ray gone?
Annual golfing trip
with Dodge, Hawk and Prowsie.
Now, Mr Chen,
do you have time for a quick
stand-up meeting before Roz arrives?
- Kitchen? 10 minutes?
- Stand-up meeting. Got it.
Excellent. Thank you, Mr Chen.
I love that guy.
You should probably get to work, Helen.
Thought I was in charge
while Ray was away.
Yeah, when you're working you are.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
No, I'm not against a pinata, I just
Ooh, meeting adjourned.
- Thank you, Mr Chen.
- Thank you, Viktor.
- Good morning, team.
- Good morning, Rozalind.
- One Mango Fandango.
- (GASPS)
- Shall we?
- Let's.
That's our little one. Franny.
Six months.
- Just swipe.
- Yeah. Baby. Nice.
- There's more. Keep swiping.
- Yeah.
- Isn't she beautiful?
- Yes.
- Just like her mum.
- Baby, baby, baby
I'm doing all the dad duties this time,
you know, changing nappies, babysitting.
It's not babysitting
when it's your own baby, hun.
- Remember?
- (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Oh. What's that?
Is that a button mushroom?
- What?
- Is that Oh! Oh!
- Oh! Hey
- Oh, that's That's my penis, yeah.
Oh!
Just a little dick pickeroo
for the wife.
Hey! David!
You're here to update your will
and make Jess your sole beneficiary.
Yes. I'm his wife.
- Beautiful wife.
- Yep, youth is beautiful.
And, Jess, I assume we're going
to do your will today as well?
No. I'm 28. I'm not dying anytime soon.
Yeah, we don't know that.
I mean, no-one does.
- Point is, if David dies
- Then I would absolutely bereft.
Of course. David dies, you're sad
- Bereft.
- OK, bereft.
Thing is, if he dies, then you die
Yeah, sorry, can we just stop
talking about people dying?
- You're upsetting my wife.
- (EXHALES HEAVILY)
- She's young.
- Yes. I can see that.
- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
- That's a nice one.
- Happy with that?
- Lovely!
- Doesn't my hair look great in that?
- It does. It really does.
Alright, here I go.
Posting to @ConchMediation.
- Instagram done.
- (GASPS)
- Now TikTok.
- Mm.
Is that on brand for Conch,
do you think?
It's more about
whether YOU'RE comfortable
communicating your corporate message
through dance.
Oh. I don't I don't know.
- What would that look like?
- I've no idea.
Ah, it's coming.
Mediation. It's
Mediation, mediation.
It's all about conversation.
That's not bad!
- Something like that?
- Yeah, something like that.
Let's go again.
Mediation. Mediation.
It's all about conversation.
Yeah, I get it. You're in love
and no-one wants anyone to die.
But just shush and listen, OK?
If David dies and you inherit
everything, then you die intestate
Why would I die interstate?
Did I take a holiday
to deal with my grief?
Oh, no. I'm sorry intestate
it means without a will.
Yeah, hun, it it means
without a will.
She's young.
Can we just use plain language?
There's no use to show off, Hannah.
It's Helen, and my point is,
if you die without a will,
then little Franny bubs here
inherits absolutely everything.
Well, perfect. Then I don't need a will.
Yeah, you're not at all concerned
about your children
from your first marriage?
Why would he be concerned?
I love those girls.
They're like my big sisters.
OK, so, we're just going to trust
that Jess
will distribute everything evenly
and do the right thing
by all of your children.
Of course. You trust me, don't you, hun?
- 110%.
- Wouldn't it be simpler
to just make a provision
in your will, right here, right now,
for all of your children
AND your beautiful wife?
Why? Because we don't trust me?
No, I think we're done here, Hannah.
- It's Helen.
- Come on, hun.
Yeah, hang on, babe,
because she might have a point,
you know,
it might make it easier for you
Disagree. Thank you for your time.
- This wasn't a free consult.
- Let's go, please, David.
- Now.
- That's the kitchen.
Yeah, well, she's she's, um young.
Thanks, Heather.
I AM sending an invoice.
(TRAM BELL RINGS)
What are you doing in here?
I'm in charge this week,
so, I'm using Ray's office.
Oh. Well, don't move anything.
I'm sure he's got some sort
of system happening here.
Do you think?
So, it's Rozalind's birthday
this Friday,
and she has asked me
to tell everyone no gifts required.
Fine with me.
- She doesn't want anyone making a fuss.
- Roz?
I mean, I'M not gonna make a fuss.
I think once you turn 40
enough with the birthdays.
You know, you should just do
the big ones 40, 50, 60
It is a bit of a special one this
year. She's turning the big 5-2.
- That's not special.
- So, keep Friday free.
We're going to surprise her
with a few drinks after work.
- Great. OK. Yep.
- Alright.
Now, if you did want
to get her something
No, no, I'm totally good
with the no-present thing.
Yes, but if you DID
want to get her something,
she's asked that you make a donation
to her favourite charity.
Acapella SOS? What even is that?
Oh, they visit disaster areas.
They sing, they raise people's spirits.
Look, just $20, whatever you can
manage. It's a wonderful cause.
- Is it?
- Yes, it's her passion project.
Seems a bit insensitive
singing at disaster zones.
Oh, that's Roz.
Mm, she looks happy.
How weird.
- (KNOCKS)
- Yes, George?
I'm organising the running order
for Roz's party on Friday night.
Party? I thought it was
a few drinks after work.
Yeah. I'm gonna be
doing close-up magic.
Viktor's doing a song.
What do you want to do?
I could do a French exit?
Roz loves French stuff.
I'll put you down for that.
- OK. Put me on early.
- Got it.
Knock-knock. I'm collecting
for Roz's birthday present.
What? No, you were just in here
saying she doesn't want a present.
This is a present from the office.
It's not a present from YOU.
Well, then shouldn't the office
pay for it?
- Helen, don't be cheap.
- I'm not being cheap,
I'm just pointing out that if
the office wants to buy a present
Come on. Big 5-2!
Viktor, 52 it's not a big one.
- It's not a thing.
- $20, that's all I'm asking.
Alright,
does that get me out of donating
to her singing disaster group?
That is between you and your
conscience. Now, do you have $20?
Well, no, not on me,
but I will get it to you.
Thank you.
Oh, why does it have to be so hard?
(PHONE BUZZES)
(CHUCKLES)
- (KNOCKS)
- Sorry, me again.
I was talking to Viktor,
and we thought it'd be nice
if everyone chipped in to get Roz
a bottle of French champagne
to toast with
at the party on Friday night.
We want to get it
from the Champagne region,
but that puts the price up a little
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- I'm not here!
David Bunting is here to see you.
Uh Yeah, hi.
OK, so, I've had a bit of a think
OK, well come on in, take a seat.
Please.
and I've decided
to take your advice about the will.
OK. And what about your beautiful wife?
- (QUIETLY)
- Well, we'll tell the wife later.
Or maybe DON'T tell her.
I mean, by the time she finds out,
you're dead.
What's she gonna do,
attack your corpse? (CHUCKLES)
What?
Sorry, that came out wrong.
I was trying to
Well, I was trying to do a joke.
Probate law jokes.
- Anyway, so
- Yeah. Who's the corpse?
Well, you'd be dead.
- Uh-huh.
- So, that makes you the corpse.
- OK. Right.
- That's obvious. God. Pfft.
Keep up.
(TRAM BELL RINGS)
- Just sign that last one.
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
Jesus Christ!
- Helen, uh
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
Hey! You!
- How did you know where I
- I tracked your phone.
- Tracked his phone?
- Life 360.
It's about trust.
- Are you cutting me out of the will?
- No, hun, look, she just thought
Hey, don't throw me under the bus.
- This wasn't my idea.
- Is that the will?
Is this it? What are you gonna do now?
Well, I'm gonna call Joseph Nieman
'cause you just ripped up his will.
- We should go somewhere and talk.
- What's there to talk about?
If there's no trust,
there's no marriage.
I hope you're pleased with yourself,
you homewrecker.
- Homewrecker?
- Yeah, are you happy?
It was her idea. All of this.
- I'm gonna report you.
- To who? And for what?
To social media, for a start.
- I've got a lot of followers.
- It's true, she does.
She was on that TV show,
50 Hottest Nobodies.
- She finished top 10.
- Yeah. I'm still not sure what you're reporting me for.
Well, then let me spell it out for you.
You attacked my personality,
you disrespected me,
you disrespected my marriage
and I'm pretty sure it's illegal
for a husband to sign a document
without his wife present.
- I'm pretty sure it isn't.
- I think you're right.
- I think it's actually against the
- We aren't speaking right now.
Do you have any idea
how out of your league I am, David?
I do.
She's well out of your league.
VIKTOR: You know, I haven't heard
from your father all day.
I hope he hasn't put a fork
in the toaster or something.
I'm sure he's fine.
I got a text from him earlier.
Maybe I'll invite him to Roz's party.
Do you think the Grubers would mind?
Oh, honestly,
I think they'd jizz their pants.
(SIGHS)
Petro? Hey, if this is about
the restraining order,
I've told you
you need a different type of lawyer.
Helen, lovely to see you.
Please, don't be concerned.
This is not about me.
- OK.
- Take a seat.
Mm, very formal. Alright.
Have you heard of the journalist
Simon Bramovich?
He has a television program
called The Informers.
Yeah, he's the guy
who shouts all the time.
Yes. He's a consumer watchdog.
Well, I think he's more of a hack
who pays people to dob on each other.
Correct. That's his catchphrase
'Snitches get riches'.
- Yeah, nice.
- Not really.
I think someone snitched on you, Helen.
On me?! Oh. What'd I do?
Mr Bramovich contacted me and asked
if I had any beefs with you.
- Beefs?!
- That's the word he used, 'beefs'.
And did you have any beefs?
- No, Helen, no beefs.
- No beefs.
But I believe
he's talking to all your clients.
He's looking for anyone with a beef.
How does he even know
who my clients are?
He's an investigative journalist, Helen,
that's what they do they investigate.
And he did a call-out on Facebook.
Well, thank you, Petro.
I appreciate the heads-up.
It's my pleasure, Helen.
And speaking of pleasure,
I wondered if you might like
to join me for dinner this evening.
Oh, that is a lovely offer,
but I'm going to say no, thank you.
- That's OK.
- Mm-hm.
I'm on a mission to find my soulmate.
It's a numbers game.
You have to ask everyone.
Yeah, the doorknocker approach.
- Good luck with that.
- Thanks.
George, perhaps you'd like
to join me for a meal this evening?
No, but thank you very much
for asking me.
It's OK.
One day, Helen, I will knock
and that door will open.
I hope so, Petro. I hope so.
What was that about?
Apparently Simon Bramovich
has been sniffing around about me.
- On The Informers?
- Mm.
- Shit, what are you gonna do?
- Ignore it.
I mean, only idiots watch that show.
Helen, Ray watches that show.
- My grandma does too.
- Yeah, alright, so do I.
Is it weird that I find Simon Bramovich
just a little bit attractive?
- Oh, Helen.
- It is weird.
I shouldn't have said it.
I wish I didn't.
- ROZ: Helen?
- Yes, Roz?
Can you go down to Blendology
and get me a beverage?
- Why can't Viktor do it?
- It's a bit personal. It (SIGHS)
- I'm a little egg-bound.
- What?
I need one of Melcome's fibre fixes
to get things going.
- You know the one.
- Oh, no, not a Plop Of The Morning?
- That's the one.
- No, I don't want to order that
- Yes.
- No.
Oh, come on, it's my birthday week,
do it as a present for me.
Birthday week. Not even a thing.
- I'll take that, thank you.
- Agh. No!
(SIGHS)
You're a cameraman. That's what you do.
- Get ready to go.
- Now, now, now.
Here we go. That's her. Get me
a bit, get me a bit of b-roll.
Alright, here we go.
She's getting a juice.
Come back here, come back here.
I want this. I want this.
Plop Of The Morning for Roz.
"Blending trouble with mischief."
- Something like that.
- Thank you.
You're gonna get her
as she's coming out.
Right, here we go.
- Helen Tudor-Fisk?
- What?
Oh, my God! God, please, don't film me.
- Why, what do you have to hide?
- What?
- Nothing!
- Don't touch the camera, please.
Well, OK, fine.
Just back up a bit, please.
We've been speaking to people who've
serious beefs about your behaviour.
- Can you let me pass, please?
- Why won't you speak to us?
- Is it because you're guilty?
- No comment!
How do you respond to the allegations
you're obsessed with death?
No, I'm not. Who said that? Wh No.
Just let me get through, please.
Ow. She assaulted me. Did you see that?
- No, I didn't.
- We've got a runner.
- I'm not running!
- Helen Tudor-Fisk, what are you
We've got incoming! Oh!
Helen Tudor-Fisk!
How do you respond to
the allegations, Helen Tudor-Fisk?
Stay on her! Stay on her!
Keep right! Go right! Go right!
(TRAM BELL RINGS)
- OK, there she is.
- Yep.
You got her? Moving along. There she is.
Gotcha, Helen Tudor-Fisk.
Gotcha.
- GEORGE: Helen.
- Yes. What?
Need you to sign Roz's card.
Oh. OK. Fine. Yep.
Ohh! Can I do it later?
I don't like being first. I want
to see what everyone else writes.
Don't be weird, just sign it.
Fine. OK.
"All the best."
There you go. How's that?
Why'd you write it up there?
Well, I'm leaving room
for everybody else.
There's only four of us.
Now you've all got lots of room
to write lots of things.
It's not very personal, is it?
Well, she's a co-worker, what do you
want me to write, "Lots of love"?
Maybe something like,
"Happy birthday, Roz."
Well, that seems moot because it says
'happy birthday' there already.
It seems silly to write it again.
(SIGHS) OK, apparently no, it doesn't.
But I can't fit it now.
I've already put "All the best." Yeah.
"Happy birthday, Roz."
Happy? And now it's from Helen.
There you go.
Why does everything have
to be so hard with you, Helen?
Oh, my God,
stop hanging out with Viktor.
(PHONE BUZZES)
Artie.
- Here they are.
- Hey.
The workers, home from a hard day.
You made snacks.
Did you, uh
get your memoir pages done today?
Yes, I did,
and I also did a bit of doodling
and came up
with a few cartoons for the book.
(CHUCKLES)
I don't get that one.
Well, they bought him jewellery
instead of a jury.
And why did they do that?
- Tony, that's wonderful.
- Yeah.
- Oh, "Court in Session."
- Well, that is priceless.
Yeah. Very New Yorker.
- (CHUCKLES)
- Like not funny?
Hey, do either of you ever watch
that show The Informers?
- Oh, not in this house. Why do you ask?
- No reason.
- Ooh, I've got one.
- Mm?
Judge in a waiter's apron, pad
and pencil, "Order in the court."
(LAUGHS)
That's great. I can draw that.
- Morning, webmaster.
- Hey, Helen.
- Ray's back.
- Already?
I thought he was golfing all week
with Dodgy, Sploodge and the Badger.
- Fisk.
- Hey, Ray! How was golf?
- In my office.
- What's the magic word?
- Now.
- Ooh. Shit. OK.
This is what ruined my trip away.
(THE INFORMERS THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
Welcome to The Informers
with Simon Bramovich.
I'm Simon Bramovich.
Tonight Probate Gate.
What happens when a wills
and estates lawyer goes rogue.
A word of warning
some viewers may find the content
of this story distressing.
Ordinarily, we'd have one, maybe two
people willing to blow the whistle.
In the case of Helen Tudor-Fisk,
we had a lot more than two.
That's when we knew we were dealing
with an extremely shonky operator.
Wow.
That came out fast.
Corner of Mana and Matthews.
On my way.
Ah!
Mr and Mrs Bunting, thank you for
coming forward for this exclusive.
I appreciate
it's been a tough time for you both.
Yes, it has,
but we're seeing a counsellor.
Yeah. We're gonna get
through this, aren't we, hun?
You bet.
Now, Mrs Bunting,
when you spoke to our researchers,
you said that there was
something really off
about this lawyer.
- Now, what did you mean by that?
- She was fixated on people dying.
She kept saying he's gonna die
and then I'm gonna die
and then we're all gonna die,
- and
- I never told you this bit
when I went back there
she actually made a joke
about attacking my corpse.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- Shocking.
- Helen Tudor-Fisk
We witnessed this obsession
with death firsthand.
Here she is
literally chasing an ambulance,
no doubt hoping someone has died.
Why? Because she's a probate lawyer
and she profits from death.
In an Informers exclusive,
we obtained security-camera footage
of this bottom-feeding lawyer
rummaging in a dumpster.
Work-related or does
she just like rolling in rubbish?
One thing's for sure
she treats her clients like garbage.
And then there are the accusations
of violence.
Ah, yeah, well, my husband's
legally blind in one eye
because she stabbed him
with a toothpick.
This is the eye patch I've had to wear.
This way, love.
- See?
- He's still struggling with his his vision.
Though my hearing
has improved significantly.
- Yeah.
- Oh, and she called me fat.
We also heard claims
of sexual harassment.
She paid me to hug a co-worker.
- She paid you?
- Yeah.
Five bucks to hug the probate clerk
while she watched.
Helen Tudor Weinstein?
Outside of work
she's just as unpleasant.
She litters.
She hates nature.
I know she hates turtles.
And the allegations just keep coming.
She knocked my house down.
Well, she wasn't very supportive
of our feminist cause.
She said I was too old for her.
But there was definitely a frisson. I
Remember the name Helen Tudor-Fisk.
Remember her face.
- And remember this
- (KNOCKS)
is where you'll find her.
Now, if you've got someone
you'd like to blow the whistle on,
you can contact us via our website.
We'll make it worth your while.
And remember here at The Informers
snitches get riches.
RAY: Did you know about this?
Well, I did know they were trying
to find people who had beefs.
- Had what?
- Beefs.
Beefs?
- Beefs, like complaints, against me.
- You should have called.
None of it's true anyway,
so, I'm not that worried about it.
Yeah, course you're not 'cause it's
- not your name on the wall, is it?
- No, it isn't,
even though I'm the one who does
most of the work around here.
Oh, this is so not the time
for that conversation, Fisk.
(SIGHS) Do you want me to resign?
Come on, Fisk, of course I bloody don't.
You just said it yourself
you do all the work around here,
and most of the time
you do it pretty well.
- Thank you, Ray.
- Is there a defamation case here?
Yeah, if you can prove
that it would impact the business
and affect income,
that's defamation.
Yeah, thanks, mate.
I understand how defamation works.
Ray was one of Melbourne's
top defamation lawyers.
Yeah, they called me Omo Man.
He could wash the stink off anyone.
- Mm.
- Yeah, but I burned out.
I went too hard. Had a heartie at 35.
That's when Rozzie stepped in
and came up with this probate lark.
This might be a job for Omo Man.
I think you're right, buddy.
We're gonna need all hands on deck
to get the stink off this one.
Yeah, just to be clear,
that's a metaphorical stink, right?
Sure.
Gonna have to dig out the old suit,
George.
Where's Rozalind?
- ALL: (SING) Hang on!
- Very good!
Help is on its way ♪
I'll be there as fast as I can ♪
Can't hear you!
- Hang on! ♪
- Up high!
A tiny voice did say ♪
From somewhere deep
inside the inner man ♪
- (YELLS) Can you move back, please?!
- Are you always in confusion? ♪
- Move back!
- Surrounded by illusion? ♪
- Talk it out ♪
- Thank you!
You'll make out ♪
Seem to make a good beginning ♪
Someone else ends up winning ♪
- She was happy.
- Don't seem fair ♪
Don't you care? ♪
- Hang on ♪
- That's it!
- Help is on its way ♪
- Can't hear you!
I'll be there as fast as I can! ♪
- Go full petrol!
- Hang on! ♪
Yes!
- A tiny voice did say ♪
- So tiny! ♪
That didn't happen. He's not blind.
The inner man ♪
Big finish!
Hang on! ♪
Oh! That is very good work
from all of you!
Do you think they'd like another?
I think they might.
Let's try again.
OK, so, I never said that.
That never happened.
- OK.
- Just sent the concerns notice.
Great. They're officially on notice.
Viktor's trying
to get onto their lawyer now.
How are we going on character witnesses?
Ah, yes. Mrs Popovich
said she's willing to testify,
and Petro
also happy to go to bat for me.
So, a kleptomaniac and a stalker?
I'm gonna say no and no.
- Ray, Brent Stellick on the line.
- Great.
Here we go. I'm on. Look out.
- Good one, Ray.
- Stellick.
Get him, Ray.
I hope you're ready, Stellick,
'cause I'm coming for ya.
Tell your boss
you can either make a deal
or Omo Man is going to put you
through a wash cycle so hot
it'll burn the skin
right off your testicles.
I'm talking 90 degrees Celsius.
You're gonna
have to carry your balls around
in a change purse, buddy,
'cause you won't have a ball bag
left when I'm finished with you.
I do beg your pardon, Beverley.
Yes, I'll hold.
Brent, is that you?
Right, I hope you're ready, buddy,
'cause I'm coming for ya.
Tell your boss
he can either make a deal
Network just called. They want
a meeting. You're on, Omo.
Good stuff!
Hello, old friend.
Fisk!
We're in here!
- Hello! Hello, hello.
- Tony!
You're early.
Oh, look, I'm working,
so, just go and sit down, OK?
George? Do we have
that champagne for Roz, yes?
Are there any chips?
George, can we get some chips
for the judge, please?
Thank you. There you are. Off you go.
If you're not pursuing financial
damages, what DO you want?
Firstly I'd like
an on-air retraction and an apology.
That's not happening.
I'm a journalist
- Oh, shut up.
- That's my reputation on the line
Shut up, Bramovich!
If it saves the network money,
you'll do it.
Right, anything else?
Um (CLEARS THROAT)
I would like him fired.
- Done.
- Not that easy, I'm afraid.
- I have a contract.
- Fine.
You can stay and see your contract
out presenting Cartoon Jamboree.
- Cartoon Jamboree?
- Mm.
Look, if no-one's gonna defend me,
I'll do it myself.
I'm a journalist, first and foremost,
and a bloody good one, Bridget
(SIGHS) No-one cares, Bramovich.
Journalism stopped existing
at this network a long time ago.
Is that it?
I'd like a dozen
prime-time advertising spots.
- (QUIETLY) Good one, Ray.
- I'll give you three.
- Five.
- Done.
Anything else?
(QUIETLY) Can I ask for something?
Yeah, you don't have to put your
hand up. Hand down.
I would please like $20 donated to
- that charity in my name, thank you.
- Fine.
20,000 on that charity.
Hang on, did you say 20,000
- Yeah. Yep.
- Yep.
- 20K. That's what she said.
- Yep.
- 20K. That's what I said.
- Oh, stop bitching, Brent.
It's a charity. It's tax deductible.
Yeah. Brent, stop bitching. And can
you put it in my name, please?
Tudor-Fisk.
I'll assume we're done,
unless there's something else.
I'd love a Coke Zero if you've
- (QUIETLY) Did we win?
- (QUIETLY) I think we did.
I'm Simon Bramovich.
I'm Simon Bramovich
with Cartoon Jamboree.
Cartoons the way you want them
truthful and honest
with your breakfast
Forgot my briefcase.
Um I'm gonna leave my number
with reception.
I know you're a bad man,
but I find you strangely attractive.
- I think I could change you.
- Good on ya, mate.
I'm Simon Bramovich
and this is Cartoon Jamboree
with Power Puff Girls
followed by Pokemon.
(TRAM BELL RINGS)
VIKTOR: They're back, they're back.
Here they are.
How'd you go?! How'd you go?!
We won!
- Great! Great! Ohh!
- Congratulations!
Omo Man is back!
And Omo Woman is here!
- Cheers to you.
- Oh, thank you!
Oh, where's Roz?
Oh, still stuck at the burst water main.
That's annoying.
I wanted her to see me win something.
- (CHAMPAGNE CORK POPS)
- (GROUP CHEERS)
Oh, that's for Roz.
(KNOCKS)
- Oh, hey, Roz, you made it!
- Crisis averted.
And I heard a big win for you
in the boardroom. Well done.
- Yep.
- Ooh.
Ooh, we're hugging.
A little bird told me that you
donated $20,000 to Acapella SOS.
Mm.
I'm just so touched. I
I don't know what to say.
You are very welcome, Roz. Hey, Ray.
Ray, did you know that Helen
donated $20,000 to Acapella SOS?
- Oh. Did she?
- Mm-hm.
Very generous, Fisk.
Imagine how many disasters
we'll be able to sing at now.
It's wonderful. Thank you, Helen.
Well, it's a very good cause,
and let's hope
there's a lot more disasters to come.
Fingers crossed.
We might have to make you
an honorary member.
Oh! (CHUCKLES)
(QUIETLY) No, thank you.
But hey happy birthday, Roz!
You get out there and have
some mud cake, celebrate the big 5-2.
- What? That's not a thing.
- That's what I said.
And it's the big 4-9, if you must know.
Of course it is.
(BIRDS TWITTER)
(BEEP!)
If I'm going down,
you're going down with me.
Thanks, Ray.
Nice one, Helen.
- Looks good.
- Yeah.
(SIGHS)
Happy, Helen?
You know what, Roz?
I think I am.
Good.
(SOFTLY) Yep.
Well, I won't hug you.
(SOFTLY) Thank you.
(SNIFFLES)
(INSTRUMENTAL 'HELP IS ON ITS WAY'
PLAYS)
- (TRAM BELL RINGS)
- (BIRDS TWITTER)
New boy's here. Hello, Viktor.
- Morning, Mr Chen.
- Morning, Viktor.
I thought a Gone Bananas
might be in order. Busy day ahead.
Now, I want to pick your brain
vis-a-vis Roz's upcoming
birthday celebrations. Any thoughts?
Depends do you want a one-off party
or a birthday week-type thing
with something fun every day?
I think a one-off thing is ample.
Shouldn't you be at your desk?
It's 8:07.
Well, technically,
I start at 9:00, Viktor.
Right, then, take that,
go and get a head-start on your day.
Yeah, you're in charge while Ray's away.
Mm. Good luck, everyone!
Really? Where's Ray gone?
Annual golfing trip
with Dodge, Hawk and Prowsie.
Now, Mr Chen,
do you have time for a quick
stand-up meeting before Roz arrives?
- Kitchen? 10 minutes?
- Stand-up meeting. Got it.
Excellent. Thank you, Mr Chen.
I love that guy.
You should probably get to work, Helen.
Thought I was in charge
while Ray was away.
Yeah, when you're working you are.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
No, I'm not against a pinata, I just
Ooh, meeting adjourned.
- Thank you, Mr Chen.
- Thank you, Viktor.
- Good morning, team.
- Good morning, Rozalind.
- One Mango Fandango.
- (GASPS)
- Shall we?
- Let's.
That's our little one. Franny.
Six months.
- Just swipe.
- Yeah. Baby. Nice.
- There's more. Keep swiping.
- Yeah.
- Isn't she beautiful?
- Yes.
- Just like her mum.
- Baby, baby, baby
I'm doing all the dad duties this time,
you know, changing nappies, babysitting.
It's not babysitting
when it's your own baby, hun.
- Remember?
- (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Oh. What's that?
Is that a button mushroom?
- What?
- Is that Oh! Oh!
- Oh! Hey
- Oh, that's That's my penis, yeah.
Oh!
Just a little dick pickeroo
for the wife.
Hey! David!
You're here to update your will
and make Jess your sole beneficiary.
Yes. I'm his wife.
- Beautiful wife.
- Yep, youth is beautiful.
And, Jess, I assume we're going
to do your will today as well?
No. I'm 28. I'm not dying anytime soon.
Yeah, we don't know that.
I mean, no-one does.
- Point is, if David dies
- Then I would absolutely bereft.
Of course. David dies, you're sad
- Bereft.
- OK, bereft.
Thing is, if he dies, then you die
Yeah, sorry, can we just stop
talking about people dying?
- You're upsetting my wife.
- (EXHALES HEAVILY)
- She's young.
- Yes. I can see that.
- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
- That's a nice one.
- Happy with that?
- Lovely!
- Doesn't my hair look great in that?
- It does. It really does.
Alright, here I go.
Posting to @ConchMediation.
- Instagram done.
- (GASPS)
- Now TikTok.
- Mm.
Is that on brand for Conch,
do you think?
It's more about
whether YOU'RE comfortable
communicating your corporate message
through dance.
Oh. I don't I don't know.
- What would that look like?
- I've no idea.
Ah, it's coming.
Mediation. It's
Mediation, mediation.
It's all about conversation.
That's not bad!
- Something like that?
- Yeah, something like that.
Let's go again.
Mediation. Mediation.
It's all about conversation.
Yeah, I get it. You're in love
and no-one wants anyone to die.
But just shush and listen, OK?
If David dies and you inherit
everything, then you die intestate
Why would I die interstate?
Did I take a holiday
to deal with my grief?
Oh, no. I'm sorry intestate
it means without a will.
Yeah, hun, it it means
without a will.
She's young.
Can we just use plain language?
There's no use to show off, Hannah.
It's Helen, and my point is,
if you die without a will,
then little Franny bubs here
inherits absolutely everything.
Well, perfect. Then I don't need a will.
Yeah, you're not at all concerned
about your children
from your first marriage?
Why would he be concerned?
I love those girls.
They're like my big sisters.
OK, so, we're just going to trust
that Jess
will distribute everything evenly
and do the right thing
by all of your children.
Of course. You trust me, don't you, hun?
- 110%.
- Wouldn't it be simpler
to just make a provision
in your will, right here, right now,
for all of your children
AND your beautiful wife?
Why? Because we don't trust me?
No, I think we're done here, Hannah.
- It's Helen.
- Come on, hun.
Yeah, hang on, babe,
because she might have a point,
you know,
it might make it easier for you
Disagree. Thank you for your time.
- This wasn't a free consult.
- Let's go, please, David.
- Now.
- That's the kitchen.
Yeah, well, she's she's, um young.
Thanks, Heather.
I AM sending an invoice.
(TRAM BELL RINGS)
What are you doing in here?
I'm in charge this week,
so, I'm using Ray's office.
Oh. Well, don't move anything.
I'm sure he's got some sort
of system happening here.
Do you think?
So, it's Rozalind's birthday
this Friday,
and she has asked me
to tell everyone no gifts required.
Fine with me.
- She doesn't want anyone making a fuss.
- Roz?
I mean, I'M not gonna make a fuss.
I think once you turn 40
enough with the birthdays.
You know, you should just do
the big ones 40, 50, 60
It is a bit of a special one this
year. She's turning the big 5-2.
- That's not special.
- So, keep Friday free.
We're going to surprise her
with a few drinks after work.
- Great. OK. Yep.
- Alright.
Now, if you did want
to get her something
No, no, I'm totally good
with the no-present thing.
Yes, but if you DID
want to get her something,
she's asked that you make a donation
to her favourite charity.
Acapella SOS? What even is that?
Oh, they visit disaster areas.
They sing, they raise people's spirits.
Look, just $20, whatever you can
manage. It's a wonderful cause.
- Is it?
- Yes, it's her passion project.
Seems a bit insensitive
singing at disaster zones.
Oh, that's Roz.
Mm, she looks happy.
How weird.
- (KNOCKS)
- Yes, George?
I'm organising the running order
for Roz's party on Friday night.
Party? I thought it was
a few drinks after work.
Yeah. I'm gonna be
doing close-up magic.
Viktor's doing a song.
What do you want to do?
I could do a French exit?
Roz loves French stuff.
I'll put you down for that.
- OK. Put me on early.
- Got it.
Knock-knock. I'm collecting
for Roz's birthday present.
What? No, you were just in here
saying she doesn't want a present.
This is a present from the office.
It's not a present from YOU.
Well, then shouldn't the office
pay for it?
- Helen, don't be cheap.
- I'm not being cheap,
I'm just pointing out that if
the office wants to buy a present
Come on. Big 5-2!
Viktor, 52 it's not a big one.
- It's not a thing.
- $20, that's all I'm asking.
Alright,
does that get me out of donating
to her singing disaster group?
That is between you and your
conscience. Now, do you have $20?
Well, no, not on me,
but I will get it to you.
Thank you.
Oh, why does it have to be so hard?
(PHONE BUZZES)
(CHUCKLES)
- (KNOCKS)
- Sorry, me again.
I was talking to Viktor,
and we thought it'd be nice
if everyone chipped in to get Roz
a bottle of French champagne
to toast with
at the party on Friday night.
We want to get it
from the Champagne region,
but that puts the price up a little
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- I'm not here!
David Bunting is here to see you.
Uh Yeah, hi.
OK, so, I've had a bit of a think
OK, well come on in, take a seat.
Please.
and I've decided
to take your advice about the will.
OK. And what about your beautiful wife?
- (QUIETLY)
- Well, we'll tell the wife later.
Or maybe DON'T tell her.
I mean, by the time she finds out,
you're dead.
What's she gonna do,
attack your corpse? (CHUCKLES)
What?
Sorry, that came out wrong.
I was trying to
Well, I was trying to do a joke.
Probate law jokes.
- Anyway, so
- Yeah. Who's the corpse?
Well, you'd be dead.
- Uh-huh.
- So, that makes you the corpse.
- OK. Right.
- That's obvious. God. Pfft.
Keep up.
(TRAM BELL RINGS)
- Just sign that last one.
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
Jesus Christ!
- Helen, uh
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
Hey! You!
- How did you know where I
- I tracked your phone.
- Tracked his phone?
- Life 360.
It's about trust.
- Are you cutting me out of the will?
- No, hun, look, she just thought
Hey, don't throw me under the bus.
- This wasn't my idea.
- Is that the will?
Is this it? What are you gonna do now?
Well, I'm gonna call Joseph Nieman
'cause you just ripped up his will.
- We should go somewhere and talk.
- What's there to talk about?
If there's no trust,
there's no marriage.
I hope you're pleased with yourself,
you homewrecker.
- Homewrecker?
- Yeah, are you happy?
It was her idea. All of this.
- I'm gonna report you.
- To who? And for what?
To social media, for a start.
- I've got a lot of followers.
- It's true, she does.
She was on that TV show,
50 Hottest Nobodies.
- She finished top 10.
- Yeah. I'm still not sure what you're reporting me for.
Well, then let me spell it out for you.
You attacked my personality,
you disrespected me,
you disrespected my marriage
and I'm pretty sure it's illegal
for a husband to sign a document
without his wife present.
- I'm pretty sure it isn't.
- I think you're right.
- I think it's actually against the
- We aren't speaking right now.
Do you have any idea
how out of your league I am, David?
I do.
She's well out of your league.
VIKTOR: You know, I haven't heard
from your father all day.
I hope he hasn't put a fork
in the toaster or something.
I'm sure he's fine.
I got a text from him earlier.
Maybe I'll invite him to Roz's party.
Do you think the Grubers would mind?
Oh, honestly,
I think they'd jizz their pants.
(SIGHS)
Petro? Hey, if this is about
the restraining order,
I've told you
you need a different type of lawyer.
Helen, lovely to see you.
Please, don't be concerned.
This is not about me.
- OK.
- Take a seat.
Mm, very formal. Alright.
Have you heard of the journalist
Simon Bramovich?
He has a television program
called The Informers.
Yeah, he's the guy
who shouts all the time.
Yes. He's a consumer watchdog.
Well, I think he's more of a hack
who pays people to dob on each other.
Correct. That's his catchphrase
'Snitches get riches'.
- Yeah, nice.
- Not really.
I think someone snitched on you, Helen.
On me?! Oh. What'd I do?
Mr Bramovich contacted me and asked
if I had any beefs with you.
- Beefs?!
- That's the word he used, 'beefs'.
And did you have any beefs?
- No, Helen, no beefs.
- No beefs.
But I believe
he's talking to all your clients.
He's looking for anyone with a beef.
How does he even know
who my clients are?
He's an investigative journalist, Helen,
that's what they do they investigate.
And he did a call-out on Facebook.
Well, thank you, Petro.
I appreciate the heads-up.
It's my pleasure, Helen.
And speaking of pleasure,
I wondered if you might like
to join me for dinner this evening.
Oh, that is a lovely offer,
but I'm going to say no, thank you.
- That's OK.
- Mm-hm.
I'm on a mission to find my soulmate.
It's a numbers game.
You have to ask everyone.
Yeah, the doorknocker approach.
- Good luck with that.
- Thanks.
George, perhaps you'd like
to join me for a meal this evening?
No, but thank you very much
for asking me.
It's OK.
One day, Helen, I will knock
and that door will open.
I hope so, Petro. I hope so.
What was that about?
Apparently Simon Bramovich
has been sniffing around about me.
- On The Informers?
- Mm.
- Shit, what are you gonna do?
- Ignore it.
I mean, only idiots watch that show.
Helen, Ray watches that show.
- My grandma does too.
- Yeah, alright, so do I.
Is it weird that I find Simon Bramovich
just a little bit attractive?
- Oh, Helen.
- It is weird.
I shouldn't have said it.
I wish I didn't.
- ROZ: Helen?
- Yes, Roz?
Can you go down to Blendology
and get me a beverage?
- Why can't Viktor do it?
- It's a bit personal. It (SIGHS)
- I'm a little egg-bound.
- What?
I need one of Melcome's fibre fixes
to get things going.
- You know the one.
- Oh, no, not a Plop Of The Morning?
- That's the one.
- No, I don't want to order that
- Yes.
- No.
Oh, come on, it's my birthday week,
do it as a present for me.
Birthday week. Not even a thing.
- I'll take that, thank you.
- Agh. No!
(SIGHS)
You're a cameraman. That's what you do.
- Get ready to go.
- Now, now, now.
Here we go. That's her. Get me
a bit, get me a bit of b-roll.
Alright, here we go.
She's getting a juice.
Come back here, come back here.
I want this. I want this.
Plop Of The Morning for Roz.
"Blending trouble with mischief."
- Something like that.
- Thank you.
You're gonna get her
as she's coming out.
Right, here we go.
- Helen Tudor-Fisk?
- What?
Oh, my God! God, please, don't film me.
- Why, what do you have to hide?
- What?
- Nothing!
- Don't touch the camera, please.
Well, OK, fine.
Just back up a bit, please.
We've been speaking to people who've
serious beefs about your behaviour.
- Can you let me pass, please?
- Why won't you speak to us?
- Is it because you're guilty?
- No comment!
How do you respond to the allegations
you're obsessed with death?
No, I'm not. Who said that? Wh No.
Just let me get through, please.
Ow. She assaulted me. Did you see that?
- No, I didn't.
- We've got a runner.
- I'm not running!
- Helen Tudor-Fisk, what are you
We've got incoming! Oh!
Helen Tudor-Fisk!
How do you respond to
the allegations, Helen Tudor-Fisk?
Stay on her! Stay on her!
Keep right! Go right! Go right!
(TRAM BELL RINGS)
- OK, there she is.
- Yep.
You got her? Moving along. There she is.
Gotcha, Helen Tudor-Fisk.
Gotcha.
- GEORGE: Helen.
- Yes. What?
Need you to sign Roz's card.
Oh. OK. Fine. Yep.
Ohh! Can I do it later?
I don't like being first. I want
to see what everyone else writes.
Don't be weird, just sign it.
Fine. OK.
"All the best."
There you go. How's that?
Why'd you write it up there?
Well, I'm leaving room
for everybody else.
There's only four of us.
Now you've all got lots of room
to write lots of things.
It's not very personal, is it?
Well, she's a co-worker, what do you
want me to write, "Lots of love"?
Maybe something like,
"Happy birthday, Roz."
Well, that seems moot because it says
'happy birthday' there already.
It seems silly to write it again.
(SIGHS) OK, apparently no, it doesn't.
But I can't fit it now.
I've already put "All the best." Yeah.
"Happy birthday, Roz."
Happy? And now it's from Helen.
There you go.
Why does everything have
to be so hard with you, Helen?
Oh, my God,
stop hanging out with Viktor.
(PHONE BUZZES)
Artie.
- Here they are.
- Hey.
The workers, home from a hard day.
You made snacks.
Did you, uh
get your memoir pages done today?
Yes, I did,
and I also did a bit of doodling
and came up
with a few cartoons for the book.
(CHUCKLES)
I don't get that one.
Well, they bought him jewellery
instead of a jury.
And why did they do that?
- Tony, that's wonderful.
- Yeah.
- Oh, "Court in Session."
- Well, that is priceless.
Yeah. Very New Yorker.
- (CHUCKLES)
- Like not funny?
Hey, do either of you ever watch
that show The Informers?
- Oh, not in this house. Why do you ask?
- No reason.
- Ooh, I've got one.
- Mm?
Judge in a waiter's apron, pad
and pencil, "Order in the court."
(LAUGHS)
That's great. I can draw that.
- Morning, webmaster.
- Hey, Helen.
- Ray's back.
- Already?
I thought he was golfing all week
with Dodgy, Sploodge and the Badger.
- Fisk.
- Hey, Ray! How was golf?
- In my office.
- What's the magic word?
- Now.
- Ooh. Shit. OK.
This is what ruined my trip away.
(THE INFORMERS THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
Welcome to The Informers
with Simon Bramovich.
I'm Simon Bramovich.
Tonight Probate Gate.
What happens when a wills
and estates lawyer goes rogue.
A word of warning
some viewers may find the content
of this story distressing.
Ordinarily, we'd have one, maybe two
people willing to blow the whistle.
In the case of Helen Tudor-Fisk,
we had a lot more than two.
That's when we knew we were dealing
with an extremely shonky operator.
Wow.
That came out fast.
Corner of Mana and Matthews.
On my way.
Ah!
Mr and Mrs Bunting, thank you for
coming forward for this exclusive.
I appreciate
it's been a tough time for you both.
Yes, it has,
but we're seeing a counsellor.
Yeah. We're gonna get
through this, aren't we, hun?
You bet.
Now, Mrs Bunting,
when you spoke to our researchers,
you said that there was
something really off
about this lawyer.
- Now, what did you mean by that?
- She was fixated on people dying.
She kept saying he's gonna die
and then I'm gonna die
and then we're all gonna die,
- and
- I never told you this bit
when I went back there
she actually made a joke
about attacking my corpse.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- Shocking.
- Helen Tudor-Fisk
We witnessed this obsession
with death firsthand.
Here she is
literally chasing an ambulance,
no doubt hoping someone has died.
Why? Because she's a probate lawyer
and she profits from death.
In an Informers exclusive,
we obtained security-camera footage
of this bottom-feeding lawyer
rummaging in a dumpster.
Work-related or does
she just like rolling in rubbish?
One thing's for sure
she treats her clients like garbage.
And then there are the accusations
of violence.
Ah, yeah, well, my husband's
legally blind in one eye
because she stabbed him
with a toothpick.
This is the eye patch I've had to wear.
This way, love.
- See?
- He's still struggling with his his vision.
Though my hearing
has improved significantly.
- Yeah.
- Oh, and she called me fat.
We also heard claims
of sexual harassment.
She paid me to hug a co-worker.
- She paid you?
- Yeah.
Five bucks to hug the probate clerk
while she watched.
Helen Tudor Weinstein?
Outside of work
she's just as unpleasant.
She litters.
She hates nature.
I know she hates turtles.
And the allegations just keep coming.
She knocked my house down.
Well, she wasn't very supportive
of our feminist cause.
She said I was too old for her.
But there was definitely a frisson. I
Remember the name Helen Tudor-Fisk.
Remember her face.
- And remember this
- (KNOCKS)
is where you'll find her.
Now, if you've got someone
you'd like to blow the whistle on,
you can contact us via our website.
We'll make it worth your while.
And remember here at The Informers
snitches get riches.
RAY: Did you know about this?
Well, I did know they were trying
to find people who had beefs.
- Had what?
- Beefs.
Beefs?
- Beefs, like complaints, against me.
- You should have called.
None of it's true anyway,
so, I'm not that worried about it.
Yeah, course you're not 'cause it's
- not your name on the wall, is it?
- No, it isn't,
even though I'm the one who does
most of the work around here.
Oh, this is so not the time
for that conversation, Fisk.
(SIGHS) Do you want me to resign?
Come on, Fisk, of course I bloody don't.
You just said it yourself
you do all the work around here,
and most of the time
you do it pretty well.
- Thank you, Ray.
- Is there a defamation case here?
Yeah, if you can prove
that it would impact the business
and affect income,
that's defamation.
Yeah, thanks, mate.
I understand how defamation works.
Ray was one of Melbourne's
top defamation lawyers.
Yeah, they called me Omo Man.
He could wash the stink off anyone.
- Mm.
- Yeah, but I burned out.
I went too hard. Had a heartie at 35.
That's when Rozzie stepped in
and came up with this probate lark.
This might be a job for Omo Man.
I think you're right, buddy.
We're gonna need all hands on deck
to get the stink off this one.
Yeah, just to be clear,
that's a metaphorical stink, right?
Sure.
Gonna have to dig out the old suit,
George.
Where's Rozalind?
- ALL: (SING) Hang on!
- Very good!
Help is on its way ♪
I'll be there as fast as I can ♪
Can't hear you!
- Hang on! ♪
- Up high!
A tiny voice did say ♪
From somewhere deep
inside the inner man ♪
- (YELLS) Can you move back, please?!
- Are you always in confusion? ♪
- Move back!
- Surrounded by illusion? ♪
- Talk it out ♪
- Thank you!
You'll make out ♪
Seem to make a good beginning ♪
Someone else ends up winning ♪
- She was happy.
- Don't seem fair ♪
Don't you care? ♪
- Hang on ♪
- That's it!
- Help is on its way ♪
- Can't hear you!
I'll be there as fast as I can! ♪
- Go full petrol!
- Hang on! ♪
Yes!
- A tiny voice did say ♪
- So tiny! ♪
That didn't happen. He's not blind.
The inner man ♪
Big finish!
Hang on! ♪
Oh! That is very good work
from all of you!
Do you think they'd like another?
I think they might.
Let's try again.
OK, so, I never said that.
That never happened.
- OK.
- Just sent the concerns notice.
Great. They're officially on notice.
Viktor's trying
to get onto their lawyer now.
How are we going on character witnesses?
Ah, yes. Mrs Popovich
said she's willing to testify,
and Petro
also happy to go to bat for me.
So, a kleptomaniac and a stalker?
I'm gonna say no and no.
- Ray, Brent Stellick on the line.
- Great.
Here we go. I'm on. Look out.
- Good one, Ray.
- Stellick.
Get him, Ray.
I hope you're ready, Stellick,
'cause I'm coming for ya.
Tell your boss
you can either make a deal
or Omo Man is going to put you
through a wash cycle so hot
it'll burn the skin
right off your testicles.
I'm talking 90 degrees Celsius.
You're gonna
have to carry your balls around
in a change purse, buddy,
'cause you won't have a ball bag
left when I'm finished with you.
I do beg your pardon, Beverley.
Yes, I'll hold.
Brent, is that you?
Right, I hope you're ready, buddy,
'cause I'm coming for ya.
Tell your boss
he can either make a deal
Network just called. They want
a meeting. You're on, Omo.
Good stuff!
Hello, old friend.
Fisk!
We're in here!
- Hello! Hello, hello.
- Tony!
You're early.
Oh, look, I'm working,
so, just go and sit down, OK?
George? Do we have
that champagne for Roz, yes?
Are there any chips?
George, can we get some chips
for the judge, please?
Thank you. There you are. Off you go.
If you're not pursuing financial
damages, what DO you want?
Firstly I'd like
an on-air retraction and an apology.
That's not happening.
I'm a journalist
- Oh, shut up.
- That's my reputation on the line
Shut up, Bramovich!
If it saves the network money,
you'll do it.
Right, anything else?
Um (CLEARS THROAT)
I would like him fired.
- Done.
- Not that easy, I'm afraid.
- I have a contract.
- Fine.
You can stay and see your contract
out presenting Cartoon Jamboree.
- Cartoon Jamboree?
- Mm.
Look, if no-one's gonna defend me,
I'll do it myself.
I'm a journalist, first and foremost,
and a bloody good one, Bridget
(SIGHS) No-one cares, Bramovich.
Journalism stopped existing
at this network a long time ago.
Is that it?
I'd like a dozen
prime-time advertising spots.
- (QUIETLY) Good one, Ray.
- I'll give you three.
- Five.
- Done.
Anything else?
(QUIETLY) Can I ask for something?
Yeah, you don't have to put your
hand up. Hand down.
I would please like $20 donated to
- that charity in my name, thank you.
- Fine.
20,000 on that charity.
Hang on, did you say 20,000
- Yeah. Yep.
- Yep.
- 20K. That's what she said.
- Yep.
- 20K. That's what I said.
- Oh, stop bitching, Brent.
It's a charity. It's tax deductible.
Yeah. Brent, stop bitching. And can
you put it in my name, please?
Tudor-Fisk.
I'll assume we're done,
unless there's something else.
I'd love a Coke Zero if you've
- (QUIETLY) Did we win?
- (QUIETLY) I think we did.
I'm Simon Bramovich.
I'm Simon Bramovich
with Cartoon Jamboree.
Cartoons the way you want them
truthful and honest
with your breakfast
Forgot my briefcase.
Um I'm gonna leave my number
with reception.
I know you're a bad man,
but I find you strangely attractive.
- I think I could change you.
- Good on ya, mate.
I'm Simon Bramovich
and this is Cartoon Jamboree
with Power Puff Girls
followed by Pokemon.
(TRAM BELL RINGS)
VIKTOR: They're back, they're back.
Here they are.
How'd you go?! How'd you go?!
We won!
- Great! Great! Ohh!
- Congratulations!
Omo Man is back!
And Omo Woman is here!
- Cheers to you.
- Oh, thank you!
Oh, where's Roz?
Oh, still stuck at the burst water main.
That's annoying.
I wanted her to see me win something.
- (CHAMPAGNE CORK POPS)
- (GROUP CHEERS)
Oh, that's for Roz.
(KNOCKS)
- Oh, hey, Roz, you made it!
- Crisis averted.
And I heard a big win for you
in the boardroom. Well done.
- Yep.
- Ooh.
Ooh, we're hugging.
A little bird told me that you
donated $20,000 to Acapella SOS.
Mm.
I'm just so touched. I
I don't know what to say.
You are very welcome, Roz. Hey, Ray.
Ray, did you know that Helen
donated $20,000 to Acapella SOS?
- Oh. Did she?
- Mm-hm.
Very generous, Fisk.
Imagine how many disasters
we'll be able to sing at now.
It's wonderful. Thank you, Helen.
Well, it's a very good cause,
and let's hope
there's a lot more disasters to come.
Fingers crossed.
We might have to make you
an honorary member.
Oh! (CHUCKLES)
(QUIETLY) No, thank you.
But hey happy birthday, Roz!
You get out there and have
some mud cake, celebrate the big 5-2.
- What? That's not a thing.
- That's what I said.
And it's the big 4-9, if you must know.
Of course it is.
(BIRDS TWITTER)
(BEEP!)
If I'm going down,
you're going down with me.
Thanks, Ray.
Nice one, Helen.
- Looks good.
- Yeah.
(SIGHS)
Happy, Helen?
You know what, Roz?
I think I am.
Good.
(SOFTLY) Yep.
Well, I won't hug you.
(SOFTLY) Thank you.
(SNIFFLES)
(INSTRUMENTAL 'HELP IS ON ITS WAY'
PLAYS)