Happy Days (1974) s02e06 Episode Script
Haunted
1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
Another one, look out.
Boo! Boo!
So Arnold's getting away
with this con for another year.
Getting away with what?
This corny decorating scheme.
Everybody knows it's just a cheap scheme
for old man Arnold
to get his Halloween decorations done for free.
You know what I like about you, Bag?
What?
Nothing.
Let's see how you laugh
when we finish our Halloween decorations.
Show 'em your chalk, men.
And that's not just for Arnold's windows.
When Halloween is over,
this whole town will be one big four-letter word.
Really?
Do me a favor, Bag.
What?
This year spell it right.
I'm telling you,
this is gonna be the best Halloween party
I've ever thrown.
Oh, you always throw a good party, Ralph.
And then the demons crash it.
Not this time.
That's why it's gonna be the best.
Bag and the other demons will never figure out
where the party is.
It's not hard to find your house, Ralph.
Who said anything about my house?
Where is the least likely place for me to have my party?
At Bag's house.
Read the book, Potsie.
Where, Ralph?
At the old Simpson house.
Are you crazy? That place is haunted.
Your brain is haunted.
That's just a story.
Yeah, but everybody thinks that it's haunted.
Yeah.
Especially chicks.
And when chicks get scared
they need comforting.
I love comforting.
Comforting.
Yeah, well, maybe it's a good idea.
The best.
But you can't tell anyone.
Not even your dates, okay?
That goes double for you, Potsie.
You have a mouth like the Grand Canyon.
Richie, on your way home,
you gotta check out the Simpson place for Saturday night.
Make sure it's dusty, cobwebby and really scary.
Oh, I, I don't think I'll have time.
Chicken?
No.
No, I'll do it. I, I just have to
make sure that I get Joanie
to her Chipmunk meeting on time, that's all.
Go on. All right.
I need apples for bobbing,
fangs for biting and chains for scaring.
Hey, guys.
Oh, hey, Joanie. Hi, little one. Hey, squirt.
Okay, I'll see you fellas later. Later, Rich.
Hey, Rich, is this a dirty word
that Bag wrote on my pumpkin?
No, but, uh never say it around Mom.
I thought it was.
But what does it mean?
Well, uh
Why are we here?
I told Ralph I'd check this place out
for a Halloween party.
Come on.
Are you crazy?
I'm not going in there.
This is the Simpson house.
Oh, what are you scared of?
Listen you're a Chipmunk, right?
And Chipmunks are never scared, right?
Wrong.
Then you'll be the only brave Chipmunk.
Come on. I'm not going in there.
Everyone knows about old Magnolia Simpson.
Ever since she lost her head,
anyone who goes in there gets theirs chopped off, too.
Now, where'd you hear that?
Phyllis Boyer.
She told me about the four people
who went in there last Halloween.
And they never ever came out.
They just disappeared, right?
Just their heads.
Well, if something like that would've happened,
it would have been in all the newspapers.
Phyllis said that the ghost warned reporters
not to write about it.
That's just a story.
Now, come on, I can't leave you out here alone.
So come on in with me, all right?
If I get my head chopped off, Richie Cunningham,
I'm gonna tell Mom on you.
That's good.
Cover your head, you'll be safe.
See, it's just an old house
with some cobwebs.
Mrs. Simpson.
She has a head.
Joanie.
I'm not losing my head for some Ralph Malph's party.
Anybody here?
Richie, what happened?
Oh, nothing, nothing, it's good.
It's a good place for a party.
You look like Bela Lugosi sucked
all the blood out of you.
Oh, I do not.
Come on, come on, let's go.
Am I gonna drive?
Will you quit fooling around?
We gotta get home, I'm hungry.
You're gonna have a tough time eating
with your heart in your mouth.
Ha, ha, ha, Joanie.
Ha, ha, ha, very funny.
You know, you ought to quit fooling around
with that Phyllis, what's her name?
Boyer, Boyer. Yeah, right.
Reporters and haunted houses.
Will you cut that out?
Boy, is Richie chicken.
Oh, that's nice.
Oh, that's cute.
Looks just like Aunt Betsy.
Why don't you go on inside
and help your mother with dinner.
And while you're in there, lay an egg.
What's that all about?
Oh, nothing. On the way home,
we stopped off at the old Simpson house.
The haunted house?
How'd you know about that place?
Oh, that story's been going around
since I was a kid.
That long?
Yes, Richard, that long.
We had ghosts then, too.
They were just younger, that's all.
What's bothering you?
Oh, nothing, nothing.
Well, actually there is something bothering me.
I thought I saw something very weird in that house.
Well, what?
Well, I-I don't even want to tell you.
You'd never believe me.
What do you mean I wouldn't believe you?
Don't I always believe you?
Of course I'd believe you.
I thought I saw a headless body.
You did not.
No? You were just in strange surroundings.
Your mind must have been playing tricks on you.
I don't know, it seemed so real.
Oh, Richard, you always had a very vivid imagination.
But you're old enough to look at these things logically.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
How come you went to the Simpson house?
Well, we're gonna be having a Halloween party
there this Saturday night.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah.
I wouldn't be caught dead there.
Look out for the window.
Boo! Boo!
Look out, look out.
Look out for the water balloon.
Why me?
Another one. Look out!
Don't tell me that, uh,
freckle face, Richie the C, is afraid of ghosts.
Me?
No.
I could tell you're lying.
How'd you know that?
You can't lie to the Fonz.
Not even my mother.
She told me when I was having my tonsils out
that I was going to a parade.
But I broke her down.
She confessed on the way to the hospital.
I-I didn't know that, Fonz.
Yeah, sure.
Listen, the only way you're gonna get rid
of all your fears is to face them.
You got that?
Yeah.
All right.
My pleasure.
Hey, he-y-y-y.
Water balloons all over the place like children, huh.
So, uh, where's Malph having his party this year?
Oh, over at the old Simpson house.
I can't go there.
Kidding, once again, Cunningham.
I wouldn't miss all that spooky fun
for nothing in the world.
Yeah, I know the fun
with the boom-boom heart and the bulging eyes
and dry throat, that's fun.
Yeah, that's fun.
Now, that's fun!
Hey!
You got me wet.
I feel so strange.
I need some air.
I'll just open the window.
There, that's better.
What was that?
It's just sound effects, it's nothing.
Full moons always make me feel so strange.
It worked, it worked.
You were really scared, Richie.
Joanie, what are you doing down here?
I'm trying out my werewolf costume.
What's going on down here?
Who yelled? Oh, nothing. Richie yelled.
He is so scared.
You didn't scare me.
You yelled.
Joanie, what are you doing up at this hour?
Now, take off those arms and get to bed.
Well, I had to try on my costume, didn't I?
Good night.
I was just on the verge of falling asleep
and I heard this yell.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I was watching this old movie
and Joanie sneaked up behind me.
And that's what made you yell?
Yeah. I'm surprised at you.
Scared by a movie?
Well, it kind of gets you
when you're all alone down here like that.
And this is a pretty good one, too.
See, this count has rented this big mansion.
And nobody knows that he's a vampire.
Now, he's trying to get the girl next door.
He's already bitten her once.
And now he's going back for a second bite.
If this note is true,
it means that everyone
in this place is one of them.
We're going to have to get back in
They'd better not go in there.
They'd better not open that door.
Why not?
Because all the count's wives are in there.
And they're all vampires, too.
And they'll just swarm all over those
those guys and suck their blood.
Here's a door, Jerry, let's see what's in here.
My flashlight went out.
It's so dark.
Let's get out of here.
Open the door, Jerry, quick.
Watch out for the bat.
Oh, my, was that a bat?
Well, they say you shouldn't watch TV in the dark.
You could ruin your eyes.
Boo! Boo!
Keep practicing; You're getting better.
Oh, I think you all look very cute.
We'll get more candy if we look scary.
Well, you look scary.
Go get your bags and let's get started.
Mom, does this look silly? Oh.
No, it looks very scary.
I don't want to look scary, I want to look cute.
Are you really going
to that party at the Simpson house?
Yeah, sure, why not?
Boy, I wouldn't.
Can I kiss your head good-bye?
Mom, I'm gonna belt her.
Leave him alone, Joanie, or he'll belt you.
Uh, Howard?
Coming, Marion, coming.
I'm all set.
Here's the candy and the apples for the kids
and aspirin for myself.
Okay, now, you keep that buttoned up, dear.
It'll cover my costume, Mom.
Well, I don't want you to catch cold.
Well, I bet the creature from the Black Lagoon
never had to wear a coat.
Now, don't worry, I won't get in the way.
I'll just stay outside on the sidewalk.
Boy, what a drag.
The werewolf being taken on its rounds with its mother.
"It" will be back in about an hour.
Gotcha.
Aren't you going to be late?
Yeah, yeah, I guess I'd better get going, too.
Well, you don't sound very enthused.
Well, you know, Dad, I could hang around
and help you pass out the candy.
Oh, no, Richard, you'd much rather go
to a Halloween party with people and decorations.
Yeah, I know, and all of the fun, yeah.
Oh, Richard, there's nothing to be afraid of.
There's no such thing as a haunted house.
Trick or treat.
Well all right.
Here's a little treat for the cowboy, huh?
Oh here's a little treat for the cowboy's horsie.
How about a little kiss?
You're going to have a wonderful time.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
You're going to be surrounded by all your friends.
Yeah.
I hope Old Lady Simpson likes 'em.
I still think I saw something in that closet.
Well look at this.
Aren't you a pretty little fairy princess?
You're a cutie.
I got something special for you.
There you are, sweetheart.
You broke my cookie, you big ox.
This is it, huh?
Yeah, this is the Simpson house.
Richie, I don't know.
It looks kind of scary.
It'll, it'll be fun.
I mean, uh, all you've got here is an old house
on a dark night
in a lonely part of town.
I, I just don't want you to let anything get you scared.
Everything's going to be all right.
Really.
I-It's fake.
It's all right.
Boy, this is creepy.
It's, it's just an old house.
What Richie!
It's, it's nothing, it
Fake, it's nothing.
Oh.
Where is everybody?
I don't know.
Maybe we're just early,
but, but I saw Ralph's car out front.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, what's that?
Oh, it's, it's just a coffin-shaped nothing.
Good evening.
Glad you could come.
Hey, Rich, happy Halloween.
Richard, Gloria.
Hey, Ralph, couldn't you get a costume?
I am in costume.
I'm Alfred Hitchcock.
Oh-ho-ho, yeah, pretty good.
Put your coats away.
We're gonna go bob for apples.
Okay.
Get in there, Pots, go.
Five seconds.
Eight seconds.
Ten seconds.
Come on, Potsie.
All right!
Potsie.
Weren't you the main course at my last Hawaiian luau?
Funny, Malph.
Richie, go get some more apples.
Yeah, all right.
Hey, it's Fonz!
Hey, Fonz.
Now, how'd you know that?
I am wearing a mask.
Oh, it was just a lucky guess.
Yeah.
And Cloris here is my faithful companion Tonto.
Hey, kimosabe.
Hey, you watch your gutter mouth, huh, Ralph?
Hey, come on, we're, we're bobbing for apples.
Yeah, I'm thrilled.
I didn't think you'd come to the party, Fonz.
Yeah, well, I had to.
See, Cloris here is a little social butterfly.
Hey, come on, Fonz, bob for an apple.
Look, all you gotta do is go underwater,
trap it on the bottom, nudge it up,
take a bite. Yeah.
He didn't do it right.
I don't think that's the way
you're supposed to do it, Fonz.
Hey-y-y, I didn't want to get my mask wet.
Then it's a good way.
Thank you.
Let's dance.
Will you get rid of this arrow?
Thank you.
Okay?
All right.
Hey, I'm leaving, all right?
Try to keep this party up to a, uh, Fonzie level, huh?
Go get your bow.
Going to another party, Fonz?
No, I'm taking Tonto up to Inspiration Point,
gonna make some smoke signals if you get my drift, huh?
Catch you later. Okay.
Hey, Bones, come here.
You ought to put some weight on, you know that?
Now listen, just relax in this place, huh.
You got nothing to fear but fear itself, huh?
Didn't somebody else say that?
Well, if they did, they got it from the Fonz.
Oh, yeah.
Bring my mask.
What happened to the lights?
Maybe it's the headless ghost.
Oh. No, it's just Ralph.
Turn the lights back on, Ralph.
What's that?
I'm afraid.
Ralph, will you quit playing around with the chains?
Come on out; We know you're in there.
Hey, Rich, you're a real drag, you know that?
You're ruining the party.
Well, I'd just rather dance, that's all.
It's more fun than terror.
Want to dance with her, Ralph?
No, no. Come here, come here.
Get me a sandwich from the coffin, okay?
Thanks.
He told them who I was.
I know. We had such great things rigged up
and he's gonna ruin them.
Yeah, he's trying to be so cool.
I wish we had something
that'd scare the pants off him.
Pots we do.
The bird?
No.
The closet.
It's all set. Oh, great.
Quit with this.
Rich want to get some more root beer?
Yeah, sure, where is it?
In the closet.
Oh, w-well, why don't you guys do it?
I'm busy. Come on!
We put up all the decorations and everything.
Yeah. Yeah, go on, Richie.
I'm kind of thirsty.
Yeah, but, but you see, that's, that's the clos
All right, right, sure.
Come on, come on, come on.
Hey, Rich
All right, Mr. I'm-Not-Scared-Of-Nothing,
I got you that time.
It's just an old dress dummy I found in there.
Oh yeah, yeah, Very funny, Ralph.
Uh uh What, what?
Where's my head?
I want my head.
Aw, come on, Ralph.
The curse of the Simpsons.
If you don't give me my head, Magnolia Simpson.
I'll chop off yours.
Ralph, this is not a funny joke.
What joke? Are these the bulging eyes of a joker?
A cross. Does anyone have a cross?
You dummy. That only works on vampires.
I've got to find my head. It's phony,
it's not real,
it's phony. It's phony. It's not real.
Hi, guys.
Aw.
Oh, it's only Bag and the Demons.
Aw, it's only Bag and the Demons.
You were shaking so much, you looked like a bowl of Jell-O.
The only one who wasn't chicken was Cunningham.
All right, Bag, you and the Demons can join the party.
As usual.
Let's dance.
Sure, what's a Halloween party without some demons?
Can I borrow this for a minute?
Thanks. Get her another one, Gloria.
Yeah, it was funny the way you scared everybody.
We were just trying to get back at you
for not inviting us to your party.
And and you wrote on my sister's pumpkin.
Oh, yeah. You like that?
And you threw that water balloon.
Oh, that was the best.
Yeah, boy.
Happy Halloween.
Ooh, ooh ♪
Wah, ooh, wah ♪
Wah, wah, wah, wah. ♪
Uh-uh, dear.
But, Mom, the candy corn is the good stuff.
I don't care.
You're not eating anything that isn't wrapped.
Boy, if you can't trust your neighbors, who can you trust?
Well, there's an awful lot of
crazy people around these days.
Your father said so.
What's this, the end of the rainbow?
I really made a haul, didn't I, Dad?
Yeah.
Hey, it looks great.
Don't eat that, Dad.
Why not?
It's not wrapped.
And there are a lot of crazy people around these days.
You said so yourself, Howard.
Marion, the stuff we gave out wasn't wrapped.
Well, we know we're not crazy.
I know I'm not.
Joanie, go to bed.
Oh, Mom.
Boo!
You're in a good mood.
Oh, yeah, it was a great party.
I had a terrific time and I wasn't scared once.
What'd you do? Stay outside in your car?
Joanie, go to bed.
Oh, all right.
I'm going to bed, but I counted everything,
and if any of my red licorice is missing,
there's gonna be trouble.
Listen, one of the kids told a cute little joke tonight.
If you take the inside out of a
hot dog, what have you got left?
A hollow weenie.
I'll see you in the morning, Dad.
Good night, dear.
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days. ♪
Hello, sunshine, good-bye, rain ♪
She's wearing my school ring on her chain ♪
She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
Another one, look out.
Boo! Boo!
So Arnold's getting away
with this con for another year.
Getting away with what?
This corny decorating scheme.
Everybody knows it's just a cheap scheme
for old man Arnold
to get his Halloween decorations done for free.
You know what I like about you, Bag?
What?
Nothing.
Let's see how you laugh
when we finish our Halloween decorations.
Show 'em your chalk, men.
And that's not just for Arnold's windows.
When Halloween is over,
this whole town will be one big four-letter word.
Really?
Do me a favor, Bag.
What?
This year spell it right.
I'm telling you,
this is gonna be the best Halloween party
I've ever thrown.
Oh, you always throw a good party, Ralph.
And then the demons crash it.
Not this time.
That's why it's gonna be the best.
Bag and the other demons will never figure out
where the party is.
It's not hard to find your house, Ralph.
Who said anything about my house?
Where is the least likely place for me to have my party?
At Bag's house.
Read the book, Potsie.
Where, Ralph?
At the old Simpson house.
Are you crazy? That place is haunted.
Your brain is haunted.
That's just a story.
Yeah, but everybody thinks that it's haunted.
Yeah.
Especially chicks.
And when chicks get scared
they need comforting.
I love comforting.
Comforting.
Yeah, well, maybe it's a good idea.
The best.
But you can't tell anyone.
Not even your dates, okay?
That goes double for you, Potsie.
You have a mouth like the Grand Canyon.
Richie, on your way home,
you gotta check out the Simpson place for Saturday night.
Make sure it's dusty, cobwebby and really scary.
Oh, I, I don't think I'll have time.
Chicken?
No.
No, I'll do it. I, I just have to
make sure that I get Joanie
to her Chipmunk meeting on time, that's all.
Go on. All right.
I need apples for bobbing,
fangs for biting and chains for scaring.
Hey, guys.
Oh, hey, Joanie. Hi, little one. Hey, squirt.
Okay, I'll see you fellas later. Later, Rich.
Hey, Rich, is this a dirty word
that Bag wrote on my pumpkin?
No, but, uh never say it around Mom.
I thought it was.
But what does it mean?
Well, uh
Why are we here?
I told Ralph I'd check this place out
for a Halloween party.
Come on.
Are you crazy?
I'm not going in there.
This is the Simpson house.
Oh, what are you scared of?
Listen you're a Chipmunk, right?
And Chipmunks are never scared, right?
Wrong.
Then you'll be the only brave Chipmunk.
Come on. I'm not going in there.
Everyone knows about old Magnolia Simpson.
Ever since she lost her head,
anyone who goes in there gets theirs chopped off, too.
Now, where'd you hear that?
Phyllis Boyer.
She told me about the four people
who went in there last Halloween.
And they never ever came out.
They just disappeared, right?
Just their heads.
Well, if something like that would've happened,
it would have been in all the newspapers.
Phyllis said that the ghost warned reporters
not to write about it.
That's just a story.
Now, come on, I can't leave you out here alone.
So come on in with me, all right?
If I get my head chopped off, Richie Cunningham,
I'm gonna tell Mom on you.
That's good.
Cover your head, you'll be safe.
See, it's just an old house
with some cobwebs.
Mrs. Simpson.
She has a head.
Joanie.
I'm not losing my head for some Ralph Malph's party.
Anybody here?
Richie, what happened?
Oh, nothing, nothing, it's good.
It's a good place for a party.
You look like Bela Lugosi sucked
all the blood out of you.
Oh, I do not.
Come on, come on, let's go.
Am I gonna drive?
Will you quit fooling around?
We gotta get home, I'm hungry.
You're gonna have a tough time eating
with your heart in your mouth.
Ha, ha, ha, Joanie.
Ha, ha, ha, very funny.
You know, you ought to quit fooling around
with that Phyllis, what's her name?
Boyer, Boyer. Yeah, right.
Reporters and haunted houses.
Will you cut that out?
Boy, is Richie chicken.
Oh, that's nice.
Oh, that's cute.
Looks just like Aunt Betsy.
Why don't you go on inside
and help your mother with dinner.
And while you're in there, lay an egg.
What's that all about?
Oh, nothing. On the way home,
we stopped off at the old Simpson house.
The haunted house?
How'd you know about that place?
Oh, that story's been going around
since I was a kid.
That long?
Yes, Richard, that long.
We had ghosts then, too.
They were just younger, that's all.
What's bothering you?
Oh, nothing, nothing.
Well, actually there is something bothering me.
I thought I saw something very weird in that house.
Well, what?
Well, I-I don't even want to tell you.
You'd never believe me.
What do you mean I wouldn't believe you?
Don't I always believe you?
Of course I'd believe you.
I thought I saw a headless body.
You did not.
No? You were just in strange surroundings.
Your mind must have been playing tricks on you.
I don't know, it seemed so real.
Oh, Richard, you always had a very vivid imagination.
But you're old enough to look at these things logically.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
How come you went to the Simpson house?
Well, we're gonna be having a Halloween party
there this Saturday night.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah.
I wouldn't be caught dead there.
Look out for the window.
Boo! Boo!
Look out, look out.
Look out for the water balloon.
Why me?
Another one. Look out!
Don't tell me that, uh,
freckle face, Richie the C, is afraid of ghosts.
Me?
No.
I could tell you're lying.
How'd you know that?
You can't lie to the Fonz.
Not even my mother.
She told me when I was having my tonsils out
that I was going to a parade.
But I broke her down.
She confessed on the way to the hospital.
I-I didn't know that, Fonz.
Yeah, sure.
Listen, the only way you're gonna get rid
of all your fears is to face them.
You got that?
Yeah.
All right.
My pleasure.
Hey, he-y-y-y.
Water balloons all over the place like children, huh.
So, uh, where's Malph having his party this year?
Oh, over at the old Simpson house.
I can't go there.
Kidding, once again, Cunningham.
I wouldn't miss all that spooky fun
for nothing in the world.
Yeah, I know the fun
with the boom-boom heart and the bulging eyes
and dry throat, that's fun.
Yeah, that's fun.
Now, that's fun!
Hey!
You got me wet.
I feel so strange.
I need some air.
I'll just open the window.
There, that's better.
What was that?
It's just sound effects, it's nothing.
Full moons always make me feel so strange.
It worked, it worked.
You were really scared, Richie.
Joanie, what are you doing down here?
I'm trying out my werewolf costume.
What's going on down here?
Who yelled? Oh, nothing. Richie yelled.
He is so scared.
You didn't scare me.
You yelled.
Joanie, what are you doing up at this hour?
Now, take off those arms and get to bed.
Well, I had to try on my costume, didn't I?
Good night.
I was just on the verge of falling asleep
and I heard this yell.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I was watching this old movie
and Joanie sneaked up behind me.
And that's what made you yell?
Yeah. I'm surprised at you.
Scared by a movie?
Well, it kind of gets you
when you're all alone down here like that.
And this is a pretty good one, too.
See, this count has rented this big mansion.
And nobody knows that he's a vampire.
Now, he's trying to get the girl next door.
He's already bitten her once.
And now he's going back for a second bite.
If this note is true,
it means that everyone
in this place is one of them.
We're going to have to get back in
They'd better not go in there.
They'd better not open that door.
Why not?
Because all the count's wives are in there.
And they're all vampires, too.
And they'll just swarm all over those
those guys and suck their blood.
Here's a door, Jerry, let's see what's in here.
My flashlight went out.
It's so dark.
Let's get out of here.
Open the door, Jerry, quick.
Watch out for the bat.
Oh, my, was that a bat?
Well, they say you shouldn't watch TV in the dark.
You could ruin your eyes.
Boo! Boo!
Keep practicing; You're getting better.
Oh, I think you all look very cute.
We'll get more candy if we look scary.
Well, you look scary.
Go get your bags and let's get started.
Mom, does this look silly? Oh.
No, it looks very scary.
I don't want to look scary, I want to look cute.
Are you really going
to that party at the Simpson house?
Yeah, sure, why not?
Boy, I wouldn't.
Can I kiss your head good-bye?
Mom, I'm gonna belt her.
Leave him alone, Joanie, or he'll belt you.
Uh, Howard?
Coming, Marion, coming.
I'm all set.
Here's the candy and the apples for the kids
and aspirin for myself.
Okay, now, you keep that buttoned up, dear.
It'll cover my costume, Mom.
Well, I don't want you to catch cold.
Well, I bet the creature from the Black Lagoon
never had to wear a coat.
Now, don't worry, I won't get in the way.
I'll just stay outside on the sidewalk.
Boy, what a drag.
The werewolf being taken on its rounds with its mother.
"It" will be back in about an hour.
Gotcha.
Aren't you going to be late?
Yeah, yeah, I guess I'd better get going, too.
Well, you don't sound very enthused.
Well, you know, Dad, I could hang around
and help you pass out the candy.
Oh, no, Richard, you'd much rather go
to a Halloween party with people and decorations.
Yeah, I know, and all of the fun, yeah.
Oh, Richard, there's nothing to be afraid of.
There's no such thing as a haunted house.
Trick or treat.
Well all right.
Here's a little treat for the cowboy, huh?
Oh here's a little treat for the cowboy's horsie.
How about a little kiss?
You're going to have a wonderful time.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
You're going to be surrounded by all your friends.
Yeah.
I hope Old Lady Simpson likes 'em.
I still think I saw something in that closet.
Well look at this.
Aren't you a pretty little fairy princess?
You're a cutie.
I got something special for you.
There you are, sweetheart.
You broke my cookie, you big ox.
This is it, huh?
Yeah, this is the Simpson house.
Richie, I don't know.
It looks kind of scary.
It'll, it'll be fun.
I mean, uh, all you've got here is an old house
on a dark night
in a lonely part of town.
I, I just don't want you to let anything get you scared.
Everything's going to be all right.
Really.
I-It's fake.
It's all right.
Boy, this is creepy.
It's, it's just an old house.
What Richie!
It's, it's nothing, it
Fake, it's nothing.
Oh.
Where is everybody?
I don't know.
Maybe we're just early,
but, but I saw Ralph's car out front.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, what's that?
Oh, it's, it's just a coffin-shaped nothing.
Good evening.
Glad you could come.
Hey, Rich, happy Halloween.
Richard, Gloria.
Hey, Ralph, couldn't you get a costume?
I am in costume.
I'm Alfred Hitchcock.
Oh-ho-ho, yeah, pretty good.
Put your coats away.
We're gonna go bob for apples.
Okay.
Get in there, Pots, go.
Five seconds.
Eight seconds.
Ten seconds.
Come on, Potsie.
All right!
Potsie.
Weren't you the main course at my last Hawaiian luau?
Funny, Malph.
Richie, go get some more apples.
Yeah, all right.
Hey, it's Fonz!
Hey, Fonz.
Now, how'd you know that?
I am wearing a mask.
Oh, it was just a lucky guess.
Yeah.
And Cloris here is my faithful companion Tonto.
Hey, kimosabe.
Hey, you watch your gutter mouth, huh, Ralph?
Hey, come on, we're, we're bobbing for apples.
Yeah, I'm thrilled.
I didn't think you'd come to the party, Fonz.
Yeah, well, I had to.
See, Cloris here is a little social butterfly.
Hey, come on, Fonz, bob for an apple.
Look, all you gotta do is go underwater,
trap it on the bottom, nudge it up,
take a bite. Yeah.
He didn't do it right.
I don't think that's the way
you're supposed to do it, Fonz.
Hey-y-y, I didn't want to get my mask wet.
Then it's a good way.
Thank you.
Let's dance.
Will you get rid of this arrow?
Thank you.
Okay?
All right.
Hey, I'm leaving, all right?
Try to keep this party up to a, uh, Fonzie level, huh?
Go get your bow.
Going to another party, Fonz?
No, I'm taking Tonto up to Inspiration Point,
gonna make some smoke signals if you get my drift, huh?
Catch you later. Okay.
Hey, Bones, come here.
You ought to put some weight on, you know that?
Now listen, just relax in this place, huh.
You got nothing to fear but fear itself, huh?
Didn't somebody else say that?
Well, if they did, they got it from the Fonz.
Oh, yeah.
Bring my mask.
What happened to the lights?
Maybe it's the headless ghost.
Oh. No, it's just Ralph.
Turn the lights back on, Ralph.
What's that?
I'm afraid.
Ralph, will you quit playing around with the chains?
Come on out; We know you're in there.
Hey, Rich, you're a real drag, you know that?
You're ruining the party.
Well, I'd just rather dance, that's all.
It's more fun than terror.
Want to dance with her, Ralph?
No, no. Come here, come here.
Get me a sandwich from the coffin, okay?
Thanks.
He told them who I was.
I know. We had such great things rigged up
and he's gonna ruin them.
Yeah, he's trying to be so cool.
I wish we had something
that'd scare the pants off him.
Pots we do.
The bird?
No.
The closet.
It's all set. Oh, great.
Quit with this.
Rich want to get some more root beer?
Yeah, sure, where is it?
In the closet.
Oh, w-well, why don't you guys do it?
I'm busy. Come on!
We put up all the decorations and everything.
Yeah. Yeah, go on, Richie.
I'm kind of thirsty.
Yeah, but, but you see, that's, that's the clos
All right, right, sure.
Come on, come on, come on.
Hey, Rich
All right, Mr. I'm-Not-Scared-Of-Nothing,
I got you that time.
It's just an old dress dummy I found in there.
Oh yeah, yeah, Very funny, Ralph.
Uh uh What, what?
Where's my head?
I want my head.
Aw, come on, Ralph.
The curse of the Simpsons.
If you don't give me my head, Magnolia Simpson.
I'll chop off yours.
Ralph, this is not a funny joke.
What joke? Are these the bulging eyes of a joker?
A cross. Does anyone have a cross?
You dummy. That only works on vampires.
I've got to find my head. It's phony,
it's not real,
it's phony. It's phony. It's not real.
Hi, guys.
Aw.
Oh, it's only Bag and the Demons.
Aw, it's only Bag and the Demons.
You were shaking so much, you looked like a bowl of Jell-O.
The only one who wasn't chicken was Cunningham.
All right, Bag, you and the Demons can join the party.
As usual.
Let's dance.
Sure, what's a Halloween party without some demons?
Can I borrow this for a minute?
Thanks. Get her another one, Gloria.
Yeah, it was funny the way you scared everybody.
We were just trying to get back at you
for not inviting us to your party.
And and you wrote on my sister's pumpkin.
Oh, yeah. You like that?
And you threw that water balloon.
Oh, that was the best.
Yeah, boy.
Happy Halloween.
Ooh, ooh ♪
Wah, ooh, wah ♪
Wah, wah, wah, wah. ♪
Uh-uh, dear.
But, Mom, the candy corn is the good stuff.
I don't care.
You're not eating anything that isn't wrapped.
Boy, if you can't trust your neighbors, who can you trust?
Well, there's an awful lot of
crazy people around these days.
Your father said so.
What's this, the end of the rainbow?
I really made a haul, didn't I, Dad?
Yeah.
Hey, it looks great.
Don't eat that, Dad.
Why not?
It's not wrapped.
And there are a lot of crazy people around these days.
You said so yourself, Howard.
Marion, the stuff we gave out wasn't wrapped.
Well, we know we're not crazy.
I know I'm not.
Joanie, go to bed.
Oh, Mom.
Boo!
You're in a good mood.
Oh, yeah, it was a great party.
I had a terrific time and I wasn't scared once.
What'd you do? Stay outside in your car?
Joanie, go to bed.
Oh, all right.
I'm going to bed, but I counted everything,
and if any of my red licorice is missing,
there's gonna be trouble.
Listen, one of the kids told a cute little joke tonight.
If you take the inside out of a
hot dog, what have you got left?
A hollow weenie.
I'll see you in the morning, Dad.
Good night, dear.
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days. ♪
Hello, sunshine, good-bye, rain ♪
She's wearing my school ring on her chain ♪
She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪