The Bad Guys: Breaking In (2025) s02e06 Episode Script

1
[heist music playing]
[Channel 6 Action News music playing]
Tiffany Fluffit here,
from the scene of the crime!
The Bad Guys successfully hit
the legendary AeroVault,
before disappearing into thin air!
Talk about sky-high criminal clout!
Is this the beginning of a crime streak?
[screams] Why did I agree to this?
[fingers clicking]
- [Webs cackles]
- [whimpers]
Huh?
The Big Bad Wolf stole my wallet!
I was chosen.
I'm never washing these pants again!
That's right, people, watch out.
- The Bad Guys are on a hot streak.
- [Piranha] Hey! What gives?
[brakes squeaking]
You promised!
No striking sweet villain poses
while I'm parking!
[horn blaring]
[man] Get out of the way, loser!
[grunts]
[engine revving]
[heist music playing]
[engine revving]
[hisses]
[tires screeching]
[Wolf] Look at us. Front page again.
We're on our first crime streak.
This is a milestone to remember, team.
I'll put it in the scrapbook.
If we don't mess anything up,
we could beat the Penguin Prowlers'
epic streak back in '86.
They got so hot,
all they had to do was walk into a heist
and folks gave them whatever they wanted.
[whooping, laughter]
[Piranha grunts]
I know we're vibing
with the streak and all.
It's just… [sighs]
Speak your truth, Fin Bro.
I sort of hate being the getaway driver.
Like, I do it, but I don't love it.
I miss out on heists, cool villain poses,
and that steering wheel
is giving me carpal tunnel.
[groans] But I don't know
what else I'd even do, you know?
[sighs] It's got me feeling funky
in my heart place.
Hey, turn that underbite upside down,
'cause we could totally shake things up.
- I'll get behind the wheel. You
- [Snake] Nope.
No way. We are not rocking the boat,
with everything going so well.
One, two, three. Bad vibes, be gone!
- [sighs]
- [Webs] Whoa.
You're, like, super superstitious, huh?
We're on a real crime streak, guys.
You can't change a thing.
The Penguin Prowlers' streak ended
because their boxman got a haircut.
[chuckling] Snake, chill.
We're at the top of our game.
In fact, the stars have aligned
for the perfect crime.
Today's the Annual
First Responders Parade.
[in unison] Boo!
More like "Worst Responders."
[laughs]
Which means
that all the guards and civilians
are gonna be partying across town.
City's gonna be dead.
So, let's play the hits.
How about a good old-fashioned bank heist
to keep the streak going?
Ooh-hoo-hoo! I love a classic.
It's simple, old-school,
drop dead gorgeous, just like me.
And we know the score so well,
we don't even need to review the plan.
Shall we keep this streak full-throttle?
Guess I'll drive, like always.
[heist music playing]
We'll get that new account going
right away.
Just write down your PIN,
social security number,
and your mother's maiden name.
Oh! Also, please, any computer passwords
you may have used in the last 24 months.
Absolutely.
I inherently trust anyone
behind a counter.
He's laying it on kind of thick.
Relax. This is gonna be like taking candy
from the world's dumbest baby.
Webs, how's it going on your end?
Almost in, guys.
Give me, like, five more minutes.
[Wolf] Take your time.
With the parade going on, we got all day.
[sighs] Aren't you
supposed to be in the car?
Can I watch you hack?
Snake doesn't have to know I left.
Just don't touch anything, okay?
And keep it down. I need to focus.
Fo' sho!
[sighs] I'm feeling all cranky inside,
you know?
Like I have more to offer?
I know we're on a streak
and everything has to stay as it is,
but I got this itch to shake things up,
to find myself.
Like there's something
right in front of me
I've been missing this whole time!
Oh. Keep it down, got it.
[beep]
All right, I'm in.
Time to stretch this streak.
We're a go in three, two, one
[man] Hands in the air!
- The Bad Guys are sticking up this joint!
- [gasps] Oh, no!
Hold up, Webs. We've got copycats.
Copy-humans. This is so cool!
That guy's… That guy's cosplaying as me!
[man gasps, groans]
Whoa. I would never do that.
[man] Ow!
Nobody move a muscle!
[man 2] Uh, yeah! Everybody get out!
- [man] What? No! Come back! Freeze!
- [screaming]
- [man 2] Move it!
- Let's just leave!
[woman screams]
Is it just me,
or do these guys seem really green?
[man] Kevin! You're supposed to
lock everybody in, not let them out!
[Kevin] Oh, yeah.
Always get those two mixed up. My bad.
[woman] Yeah, totally can see
how you'd get them confused,
since they're exact opposites.
- [Kevin chuckles] Thank you.
- What? My head doesn't look like that!
Right?
I don't come inside heists much,
but is this normal?
Also, where's the copycat Piranha?
Can this thing zoom in?
Hey, careful! I'm controlling
the whole bank security system!
[buzzer]
[alarm ringing]
- [Piranha] Who turned out the lights?
- [Webs] You did!
You cut the power
to our comms too! [groans]
[grunts]
Oh, man! Somebody tripped the alarm!
With the security system,
we'll be surrounded in minutes.
Our streak is toast!
[woman] You two, hands up!
[man] Quit chitchatting!
Don't you know who we are?
Oh, we know exactly who you are.
Imposters!
[sunglasses clattering]
[man] Whoa! The real Bad Guys?
Serendipitous!
That's right.
So, how about you put your hands up?
[alarm ringing]
[siren wailing]
No, no.
You guys keep having fun at the parade.
- [man on walkie] This is so awesome!
- Signing off.
[sighs] Seniority.
Man, it will get you every time.
[brakes screeching]
[sighs] Okay. No, no, Chuck Melon.
I-I'm happy to cover
this humdrum alarm trip.
You enjoy the cushy parade gig. [chuckles]
What's that?
They're serving drinks in actual coconuts?
Seniority.
It will get you every time. [groans]
[Channel 6 Action News music playing]
I don't even know who's watching this
instead of the spectacular
First Responders Parade,
but this is Tiffany Fluffit
reporting live into the void.
Apparently, this bank alarm got tripped
and someone had to cover it.
Lucky me!
Save yourself! The Bad Guys are in there!
Don't get too close, Ms. Fluffit.
This is a dangerous situation.
The Bad Guys are on a hot streak.
If you manage to catch them,
that will be big news.
Problem, it's just us here.
No way I can stop
five hardened criminals on my own.
Might as well throw in the towel now
and get back to that parade.
Did you not hear me?
The footage will be priceless.
And a broken-streak story
could overshadow
Chuck Melon's cushy parade gig! [cackles]
Just got to convince them
a slew of guards are waiting out here.
[Webs] Feel around.
There's got to be an opening some
[Piranha screams]
I just felt a spider! Ick!
[Webs] Yeah! Me!
[Piranha] Oh! [chuckles]
No, you put your hands up.
We were here first.
No, you weren't.
This is our bank heist. We got seniority.
[woman] And we have
the only remaining hostage,
so we get the heist.
That so?
Ta-da! [chuckles]
[man] You really are the best in the biz.
But we're not giving up this robbery.
[woman] No way, no how.
[Channel 6 Action News music playing]
Is The Bad Guys' epic streak
about to meet its crushing defeat?
Tiffany Fluffit here,
with just a few of the many, many guards
who say the answer is "yes."
We've got the bank surrounded.
There's no way out.
And what about you,
totally different guard?
[in Irish accent] G-give it up, Bad Guys!
Your days of thieving
have come to a close.
The cops showed up already?
Nobody respects a parade anymore, man.
[clears throat] Yep.
You doggies will never get away with it.
You'll be hogtied
and off to the clink in no time.
[chuckles] Uh… Yee-haw!
[man] Sounds like
we're totally surrounded. Oh, crud!
We gotta act fast. Our streak! Our streak!
Hmm. I'm calling a sidebar.
[man scoffs] So am I! Come on, crew.
Sidecar… [gasps, grunts]
With all that fuzz outside,
it ain't gonna be easy
sneaking out of here with the loot,
even in disguise.
And these posers are wildcards.
They could trip us up
and break our streak at any moment.
Easy! Saying "streak" and "break"
in one sentence is a no-no.
So, what do we do?
Hard to get a jump on them
in a criminal standoff.
These rookies are clearly our fans,
so we'll show them the ropes
as the real Bad Guys.
Earn their trust.
Ooh! A mini long con.
- A medium con!
- [Wolf] Precisely.
Then, when they least expect it,
we lock them in the vault,
reconnect with Webs and Piranha,
and make off with the loot, streak intact.
Sounds like a plan to me.
But don't expect me to act like I enjoy
showing these shlubs how to crime.
Follow my lead.
Okay, let's talk.
[man grunts]
[man] Dang it!
Ouch!
Guess I don't need this anymore.
Look, I admit it. I'm a huge fan.
The Big Bad Wolf?
You're why I got into crime.
Well, you've got great taste
[woman] Are we done brown-nosing?
Can we parlay or not?
We'll offer a deal.
It's clear you are in desperate need
of criminal guidance,
and all those coppers out there
are a sticky wicket,
so we'll give you
some expert lessons in thievery,
we'll do the heist together
and escape our separate ways.
Split the loot 50-50.
Fifty-fifty? No way! [grunts]
I mean, fine. We doing this?
I'm Chi-Hoon.
This is Jeff, and that's Kevin.
[Kevin] Hey-o!
Hey, why don't you take off
that completely inaccurate mask?
[Kevin] No reason.
Definitely not
because it's hot-glued to my face.
[Webs sighs] We're completely lost!
[sighs] So,
you don't want to drive anymore.
What do you like to do?
Hmm. What do I like? What do I like?
[gasps] I'm a big fan of one-way tickets!
Uh, I mean, it's good you're fearless,
but you can't just constantly
sacrifice yourself.
Sort of a liability.
You're right! [yells]
[vent rumbling]
Sorry!
Man, I can't do anything right!
I'm just so full of rage!
[vent rumbling]
Control yourself, bro!
Holding up a bank,
the first step is to create
a sense of commanding cool.
Your safe-cracker could sneak in
while you and your disguise man
distract citizens.
- Oh, this is good stuff.
- [Wolf] Watch and learn.
Now, show me your strut.
[clattering]
Ooh!
Okay. Work in progress.
But progress!
How's your growl? Give me a growl.
Roar!
Ooh! Spooky.
How close did you park your getaway car?
A getaway car. Oh, genius!
Def writing that down.
- Yeah, we were gonna get a rideshare.
- Uh-uh.
With the loot,
and fuzz breathing down your neck?
I'm so embarrassed.
Looking like an idiot in front of my hero.
Your hero?
You probably don't remember,
but you actually picked my pocket.
It was like the clouds parted
and I was called to crime.
I just want to be like you.
You ready to learn from the greatest
safe-cracker that ever slithered?
Do I have to?
You tried to rob a bank
without a trained boxman, so, yeah.
Who says "boxman"? What are you, like, 80?
Kind of salty, aren't you?
Wait a minute. I know what you are.
You're…
me.
[scoffs] It was the only one that fit.
The lovable curmudgeon.
Now, last time I agreed to teach somebody
safe-cracking, I sort of regretted it.
But I'm sure I won't this time.
First thing you want to do is listen
for any air bubbles in the steel.
To become disguised, become the disguise.
Understand?
[Kevin] Oh, I got that down.
Look! I'm a tree!
You can't tell because my mask is stuck,
but my face under here, totally a maple.
You want to try being something
other than an inanimate object?
[Kevin] Perhaps a mighty oak.
Very good, Kevin.
[dial clicking]
[Snake gasps]
You're a natural, kid!
After you.
I almost feel bad.
But being double-crossed
is the ultimate criminal lesson.
[coins jangling]
I'm starting to think we're pretty good
at this whole teaching-how-to-crime thing.
[glass shattering]
[Gary on megaphone] I'll count to 60!
If you're not out by then,
with your hands up,
we, all of us,
and there are definitely a lot of us,
are going loco on this joint!
That was the only smoke thingy I had.
I hope they bought that bluff.
We gotta move, people!
[panting]
[grunts]
[grunting]
Ready to lock 'em up?
Wolf, I know we're going
our separate ways,
but I think I speak on behalf of
my whole to-be-named crew
when I say "thank you."
You really taught us so much.
So, so much.
I guess the students have become
the slightly better students.
See you around, kid.
See you never, old man.
Perfect.
Could I get a hug goodbye?
We crooks don't really do hugs.
How about a dishonorable handshake?
So cool.
Hey, what's that?
- Huh?
- Now!
[yelling]
[yells]
Jeff! What the heck? We had a connection!
Plus, we were supposed to betray you!
You guys did too good a job
of teaching us to be bad.
In fact, I guess you could say
we're the real Bad Guys now.
Can't believe I taught you
how to be the brains!
Jeff was never the brains.
This is my outfit,
and you're our first rubes.
[sniffling] I swear,
if I ever had a daughter…
You told us how to crack vaults,
you told us all about
the getaway car waiting outside.
[chuckles] We can take that,
let the cops arrest you,
then assume your position as top thieves.
See you, suckers!
[Jeff] Ciao, Sad Guys! Ow!
[clattering]
Jeff just stubbed his toe again,
didn't he?
[Jeff] No! You stubbed your toe!
You take that back!
We're gonna run out of oxygen!
I'm too young to die!
This vault is our tomb!
Let us out!
[panting] There's the team!
They're in trouble!
Okay, I know I said one-way-ticketing
wasn't a viable role in the team,
but I think we have to jump down
into the vault to save our friends.
Which is sort of bananas.
Let's do this. [grunts]
And, Webs, they're animals, not bananas.
[grunting]
[Snake gasps]
Finally! What took you so long?
Um, nice to see you too?
Why is the tiny fish not with the car?
He's blowing our streak!
This is why Chi-Hoon betrayed me.
A grade-A double-cross.
What a scumbag! I'm gonna miss her.
Webs, you gotta unlock this vault.
I-I can't get a signal in here.
The vault walls are too thick.
And the vents were dead air,
thanks to Piranha touching my stuff.
Hey! I was soul-searching!
You did this!
You should have stayed in the car,
in your little booster seat,
where you belong!
I don't belong in the car!
I belong somewhere else!
I don't know where,
but I'm gonna find out!
The vault door? You're really just gonna…
[Piranha yells]
[yelling intensifies]
[clattering]
[Chi-Hoon] Help us!
[Gary grunts]
[panting]
Don't worry. You're safe now.
Where are all the guards?
Tiffany Fluffit here.
Tell us of your fateful ordeal,
locked in with The Bad Guys.
What a nightmare.
I can't believe we made it out.
The Bad Guys are still in there.
Specifically, in the vault.
They trapped themselves in there
on accident.
What a bunch of losers!
[chuckles] Toodles.
[Kevin] Hi, Mom! I'm a tree! [grunts]
Time to finally arrest these fools.
[Wolf] Where did those posers go?
- [Gary grunts]
- [Shark and Piranha panting]
[gasps]
- Hey! Gary!
- Uh, you okay?
[Gary groans]
[spine cracking]
Hey, Fin Bros.
Congrats on the streak.
Sorry I have to end it.
That means a lot coming from you.
[door closing]
There!
[Chi-Hoon grunts]
Hey! That's my little special chair!
[engine revving]
[Chi-Hoon cackles]
Great! We're never gonna
catch those rats now!
Somebody should have reminded me
to spin my hat again.
It ain't over yet.
[tires screeching]
Oh, come on!
Not my van!
The Bad Guys are on a hot streak!
Accept no imitations!
[van engine revving]
[Chi-Hoon grunts]
[tires screeching]
[Wolf grunts]
[keyboard clacking]
[laptop beeps]
[siren wailing]
Ha-ha!
[Chi-Hoon gasps]
[brakes screeching]
[Chi-Hoon grunts]
[tires screeching]
[gasps, grunts]
Everybody hold on, and do not vom.
[groans] No promises!
[brakes squealing]
[siren stops]
[van door opening]
You had a good run, kid,
but it ends here. [hisses]
You ain't seen nothing yet, old-timer.
Hey, Kev, time to shine.
[metal scraping]
[gasping]
[Chi-Hoon] See, Kev here is a powerlifter,
so we got something you guys don't.
We got muscle.
[Kevin grunts]
[metal bar clattering]
I break stuff!
[yells]
[whimpering]
Sidebar!
Somebody's got to fight this guy.
Shark, you! You're the biggest.
Um, actually,
my body's almost entirely cartilage,
so, uh, yeah, I-I can't.
I'm practically just an earlobe.
I can't believe they just threw out
my booster like it was nothing.
My butt and that chair
had some really good times together.
Oh, I could just…
I could just…
That's it! I see it now.
Piranha, buddy,
you've been the muscle this whole time.
I'm the muscle?
Yeah, are we sure about that?
I mean, Kevin's bending steel over there.
Yes!
I know I said
you need to control yourself earlier,
but, actually,
you need to do the opposite.
Let your inner muscle off the leash.
Now, go off!
I'm the muscle! [yells]
[yelling continues]
[screams]
[yelling]
Yes! Yes!
Yeah!
[whimpers]
[Piranha yells]
[sighs] That felt great!
[screaming, grunting]
[gasping]
- Yeah!
- [Snake chuckles]
[grunts]
[gasps]
I don't gotta drive no more?
Nah. Why don't you stick to
what you do best?
Sometimes, new-school is cool too.
As long as it keeps
my streak intact, that is.
You sure
you can drive this thing good enough?
It ain't easy.
[engine starts]
[tires squealing]
[engine revving]
[brakes squeaking]
Just messing with you. Adios.
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
Okay. Well, I tried, folks.
Looks like The Bad Guys are still hot.
Nothing has changed! Nothing matters!
Crime rules and chaos reigns!
What's that? No one's watching this
because they're still watching the parade?
Okay. Great. [groans]
[microphone whines]
I guess we gotta come up with a new name.
"The Bad Bros"?
"The Regular Joes"?
"The Tree People"!
K-K-Kev, that's terrible.
[engine revving]
[brakes squealing]
[gasping]
[groaning]
Be… a… tree.