The Villains Of Valley View (2022) s02e06 Episode Script

Celia, look at you.
In our house. All alone.
What are you doing here?
Every year, we celebrate
Hartley's birthday
at Madame Millicent's Tea House.
She's coming down to model
the dress I got her
for the tea party.
Oh, I've always wanted to go
to a tea party.
Mostly so I can squish all those
tiny finger sandwiches together
into one multi-flavored masterpiece.
Well, keep on wanting,
'cause you're not invited.
Ooh!
It looks even better than I imagined.
It's better than I imagined too.
- Who's a pretty princess?
- [camera shutter clicks]
What do you think, baby?
I love it. It's fantastic.
Can't wait for the tea party.
Okay.
Well, now that I know
these dresses are winners,
I can go pick out mine.
Tea you later.
Still not invited.
What's it worth to you to stop
me from posting this picture?
Can you really put a price on your teeth?
Eh, I'll take my chances.
Hartley, how can you actually like this?
I don't.
I mean, I used to when I was little,
but now it's just a tradition
that means a lot to my grandma.
I don't want to hurt her feelings.
So, you're willing to dress like a grandma
to avoid offending your grandma?
Very Hartley.
What are the kids at school gonna say?
Nothing.
It's too embarrassing to invite them.
So, usually it's just me, my grandma,
and her friends who complain
that tea makes them gassy.
Wow.
And I thought it was bad enough
wearing the worst outfit ever.
Second-worst outfit ever.
For your information,
this is what regular people wear
on vacation.
And I got to say,
I do like all the pocket space
in these shorts equipped for cargo.
What vacation?
Mom and Dad are taking me
to a water park for the weekend.
Oh, that sounds like nice, wholesome fun.
So we can pull
villainous pranks on people.
And there it is.
We're gonna clog
the waterslides with floaties
and we're gonna dye the wave
pool a horrifying blood red.
Or maybe even yellow.
What's so scary about a pool
of yellow water Oh, no!
Never mind. I got it.
So, you're just gonna leave me
and Jake here?
I mean, him I understand,
but I'm delightful.
Sorry. No room.
Our prank gear and giant
floaties take up the whole car.
Well, can't you just deflate the floaties?
And make your mother
blow them all up again?
That's very inconsiderate, Amy.
Great. Your family's gonna have
more fun than I am
on my own birthday.
No, this is perfect.
You know, you've always been there for me.
Now, it's my turn to be there for you.
Tell your grandma
to cancel that tea party.
What? Why?
Because I'm throwing you
the best birthday party ever.
Well, does it have to be this weekend?
Yeah, because my parents are out of town.
Oh, so you're worried
that they'd try to shut it down?
No, I'm worried my dad would try
to drop it like it's hot,
which usually ends with him
falling like he's old.
[theme music playing]
Your birthday party is really
coming together.
I invited tons of people.
Seriously? You can't stand people.
I know. So, when I've had my fill,
I'm whipping out the garden hose.
Hartley! There you are.
Oh, hey, Grandma.
We need to choose your party package.
I was thinking either Deluxe Delights
or Classy Lassies.
[chuckles] Uh
You know, that sounds like a big decision.
Let's discuss it in private.
You were supposed to cancel the tea party.
Why is she still talking
about it like it's happening?
Well, I was thinking,
and I don't think your dad would want us
throwing a party with all his
villain stuff downstairs.
Hmm. Hey, Dad, I'm throwing
a party while you're gone.
Okay.
Seriously? You don't care
if there's a bunch of kids in your house?
- Your villain house?
- Nah.
The lair will be locked up tight.
In fact, since we're going away,
I added extra security
that not even Amy and Jake's
powers can penetrate.
Seriously?
You don't trust your own kids?
Nope.
Anyway, I got to go finish
getting ready for the trip.
I gave Eva and Colby
a bunch of stuff to do too,
and if everyone does their part,
we should make it on time
for our hotel reservation.
Huh, never thought I'd hear a supervillain
stressing about a hotel reservation.
Hey, we may be evil,
but no one wants to sleep
next to the ice machine.
There you go.
My dad's cool with the party.
Now, go cancel with your grandma.
Okay. It's just hard to find
the right time.
Aw, it's always the right time
to disappoint people.
Here, I'll show you.
Celia, I'm not going to the tea party.
Fine by me. You were a plus one.
Your turn.
Grandma, um, well, I
I
Here, let me help.
Grandma, I need to talk to you
about the tea party.
- What about it?
- This is where I leave you.
Fly, little bird.
You're not canceling, are you?
It wasn't easy to book that tea house.
I had to lean on the manager to fit us in.
Do you know how hard it is
to threaten someone
using proper etiquette?
No, it's just, uh
Amy wants to throw me a party, too.
So, are you saying you don't
want your tea party anymore?
No. Of course, I do.
Then why would you choose
that neighbor girl
over your sweet grandmother
who might not have that many
birthdays to share with you?
I wouldn't.
Good. Then go tell her to cancel.
Absolutely.
How'd it go? She take it well?
Absolutely.
Here we are, ready to go.
Ah, great.
Did you finish making the fake VIP passes
so we can skip the lines?
Uh, no, but I did have a delightful nap.
What about you?
Did you finish the list I gave you?
No. But, to be fair, it's kind
of hard to finish something
you never started.
Although, I did pick up this
sweet surfboard for the wave pool.
I don't know how to ride it,
but I'm excited to fall on people.
I can't believe you two.
The whole reason I made us each lists
was so we could work as a team
to get out of here on time.
But if you didn't do any of it,
we can't leave.
- Did you finish your list?
- Of course not.
You two were supposed to pick up my slack.
Okay, look, let's just hurry up,
finish our lists so we can hit the road.
[doorknob jiggles]
The door is locked.
Oh, no. My surfboard
must have hit the button.
I mean, this thing
is really hard to handle.
See?
Will you give me that?
Take it. Take it.
Okay, look, luckily, I can turn
off my new security measures
using my phone.
Oh, no. I must have left it in the car.
Oh, well, that's a good place for it.
Just use your phone to call Amy and Jake
so they can get my phone
and open the lair.
Fine.
Yeah, my phone is also in the car.
Okay, no worries.
I will just zap our way out.
No, you can't.
My new security system is impenetrable.
Not even your powers can bust through it.
So, we're stuck in here?
Way to go, guys. Real responsible.
- Well, where's your phone?
- I traded it for the surfboard.
Jake, I need your help.
I promised Amy that I'd tell my grandma
that I didn't want a tea party
so I could go to Amy's party instead.
But then I told my grandma that
I'd tell Amy to cancel her party
so I could go to the tea party.
Have you considered
facial reconstructive surgery?
I just have to find a way
to go to both parties.
I know. You can come with me.
That way, you can distract my grandma
while I sneak over to Amy's party.
Then I'll text you every time
we need to switch. You in?
Well, going to the tea party
would allow me to live out
my finger sandwich fantasy.
I don't know what that means,
but if you're in, I don't care.
I don't know. Seems like a lot of lying.
Well, I never lie.
Except for tonight
and all the lies up to now.
So, as long as we agree that lying is bad
and we shouldn't do it,
then maybe it's okay?
- Works for me.
- Me too.
[inaudible chatter]
So, what do you think of my tux?
Well, if your personality doesn't sparkle,
at least your outfit will.
Just remember, keep my grandma busy
so she doesn't wonder where I am.
[all] Happy birthday, Hartley!
Thanks. Oh, I'm so excited
to spend my birthday
with all of you right here,
where I will be all night
- Too much.
- Copy that.
Oh, darn.
My fascinator's coming loose.
I should, uh, probably go
take care of that.
Hartley, wait.
You know what I love?
Is how the teacups come
on their own little saucer.
It's like the saucer is the
plate and the cup is the food?
Don't worry. I won't eat the cup.
That's a mistake you don't make twice.
Just for the record, he was not invited.
Get off my head!
Okay.
[dance music playing]
Oh, look, everyone,
it's the birthday girl.
[all cheer]
Where have you been?
Sorry. I was apologizing to my grandma
for canceling the tea party,
which I totally did.
- [panting]
- Why are you out of breath?
Oh, uh, you know, parties are stressful.
So I'm, uh, doing some
deep breathing exercises
to stay calm and centered.
[hyperventilating] See?
Look, it's a party.
If you want to let stress out,
just shout like this.
Whoo!
[all] Whoo!
Whoo!
No, louder. Whoo!
Well, it's not a party till you
break something, am I right?
- [all cheer]
- [music resumes]
[all laughing]
What is taking Hartley so long?
I better go check on her.
Oh, uh, I'm sure
she'll be back any second.
Uh, so, Celia, let's talk about you.
Tell me, what is your favorite
kind of, uh, sword?
Depends on the job.
You got your broadsword,
your katana, your cutlass.
But I'm partial to the scimitar.
Gets things done without too much mess.
I got one in the car. You want to see it?
No. I'm good.
[cell phone vibrates]
Be right back.
Don't rush on my account.
[giggling]
Hi, Grandma. I'm back.
Why are you all sweaty?
Oh, that's from dancing
in the bathroom.
I was dancing in the bathroom.
- Why were you?
- Because it's my birthday.
[gasps]
[dance music playing]
Hey, Amy. Great party.
Oh, did you just get here?
What? No. I've been here the whole time.
I've just been, uh, mingling.
You know me, I love to mingle.
I'm a mingler.
Mingle all the way.
- Have you seen Hartley?
- Uh, yeah.
I'm pretty sure I saw her getting a drink
at the, uh, the punch bowl.
There is no punch bowl.
Oh, then someone must have brought one.
Guess this party is BYOPB:
"bring your own punch bowl."
Could also be peanut butter
or pretzel bites.
Any of these working for you?
I don't know.
I've never been to a party before.
Yeah. It shows.
I'm gonna go get some punch.
Uh, you can't
because Hartley drank it all.
She drank a whole bowl of punch?
Yeah, and she's your best friend, Amy.
How do you not know she's a punch guzzler?
- [cell phone vibrates]
- Well, back to mingling.
- Have I mentioned I'm a mingler?
- Just go.
What was that? And where is Hartley?
- Right here.
- Oh!
Did you drink a whole bowl of punch?
Is that what Jake said?
- Yeah.
- Then yes, I did.
We never would've gotten locked down here
if you hadn't had that stupid surfboard.
Why couldn't you have
shape-shifted into someone
who makes better decisions?
Well, maybe if you kept your phone
as close as I keep my surfboard,
we might have gotten out by now.
If you had both just contributed
to the team,
we would all be checking in right now
to a terrific hotel room we were
never even gonna pay for.
Okay. Okay. Your father's right.
I say we work together and blame him.
Yeah. I mean, if he's such a genius,
then why didn't he invent a way
to walk through walls?
Wait a minute. I did.
[objects clattering]
I invented a Particle-izer.
It'll temporarily rearrange
every cell in your body
so that you can pass through anything.
You know, for as much
as we made fun of you,
every so often you do come in quite handy.
Anyway, once I'm particle-ized,
I'll just run right through
the locked door.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Why don't I run through?
- What's wrong?
Don't you trust that I'll let you out?
I mean, considering all the shady things
you've done throughout my life,
no, I don't.
Hey, don't look at me.
I'm well aware of what goes on
behind your curtain.
All right. Fine.
I'll particle-ize all of us
at the same time.
[device humming]
- But I'm going first!
- [Colby] Out of my way!
[Eva yelps]
Wait, is something off here?
Why is Mom wearing my hoodie?
And why does it feel
like it's still on me?
Probably because my body's over there.
What did you do?
Our particles got mixed up.
Our heads are on the wrong bodies.
See? This is what happens
when you don't let me go first.
Wait, why did you stand up
when I tried to stand up?
Don't ask me, I'm still
processing the whole hoodie issue.
Whoa.
Oh, my.
Our heads still control our own bodies
even though we're not attached to them?
Stop walking.
You're making me motion sick.
And if I puke right now,
I don't know whose mouth
it's gonna come out of.
You've gotta try these crumpets.
They're scrumpet tious.
I'm sorry, ladies.
I really thought I had something there.
[gasps]
Finger sandwiches.
- Jake!
- Hartley.
Didn't you get my text?
No.
Yes.
But But finger sandwiches.
Hartley, where have you been?
And why do you keep disappearing?
Your friends have been asking for you.
Grandma, these are your friends.
Not if they keep running up
the bill on these hors d'oeuvres.
[cell phone vibrates]
Uh, I think I left my phone
in the bathroom.
Be right back.
That girl's up to something.
Why would she say she left
her phone in the bathroom
when it was in her hand?
Beats me.
I want answers, Willy Wonka,
or you can use your pure imagination
to figure out what's gonna happen next.
Hey, Amy. I'm back.
[laughs] I mean, I never left.
Where would I have gone?
Maybe you should start talking.
Ready, set, go.
Is that your weird tea party hat?
Hat? What hat?
Oh. This one.
Have you been sneaking off
to your grandma's tea party?
No. I just wanted to wear the stupid hat.
Stupid hat?
[gasps] Grandma.
You told me she was canceling this party.
[scoffs] What?
You told me she was canceling hers.
Well, the important thing
is we are all together now.
Wait, Grandma.
How did you even know I was here?
He told me.
Hello.
You snitched on me?
I had no choice.
She took away my finger sammies.
Don't worry, Hartley.
I know it must have been tough
to choose between her
and your grandmother.
Your family.
Your flesh and blood.
Yeah, but, in the end,
she made the right decision,
so nighty-night, Nana.
Oh, no, no, no.
It's clear that Hartley wants
to attend both parties,
so why make her choose
when I can just bring the tea party here?
- Wait, what?
- Come on in.
Time to party like it's 1979.
We worked up a little something
in the driveway.
Ready, girls?
[funky hip-hop music playing]
Oh, no. I know what you're doing.
You are not turning my party
into a grandma get-down.
Let's see if they can keep up those moves
at a thousand beats per minute.
[music accelerating]
[Celia] Keep it hot, ladies.
You've been drinking tea for hours.
You've got the caffeine jitters
on your side.
[all] Whoo!
Okay then. Time to add a little bass.
[loud rumbling]
Keep your feet planted!
Gladys, it's time to get
your money's worth
out of that hip replacement!
Okay, I can modify the Particle-izer
to get us back to normal.
But since my head is on the wrong body,
I'm gonna need your help.
Eva, I want you to grab
that soldering iron
and very delicately solder
that capacitor to the circuit.
Ow.
Sorry, son.
Okay, Eva, that wasn't a soldering iron.
That was a hammer.
It's complicated. I get it.
Hey, maybe you should use your own hands.
Well, then how will I see what I'm doing?
I know. Move me over there.
No, I still can't see.
How about now?
Oh! That's using your invisible head, son!
I'll have this fixed in no time.
This is just like being on my own body.
Aside from having to make sure
I don't look down
and see my own gaping neck hole.
Reversing the swap
will take an extra power boost.
- Eva?
- Gladly.
Wow!
Shooting lighting from
your fingers really is cool.
I mean, my fingers. I mean, your fingers.
You know, I'll be glad when this is over.
[device humming]
- Yes! I'm back in one piece!
- We did it.
We finally worked together as a team!
[laughs]
And it got us nowhere,
because we're still stuck in the lair.
[cell phone chimes]
Hello?
Oh, it's the hotel.
Yeah, we're running a little late.
We got locked in the basement.
I didn't have my, uh
Can I call you right back?
You had your phone this whole time?
Huh. I must have missed a pocket.
These cargo shorts have way too many.
- [fast music playing]
- Fight that bass!
Don't let those ankles crumble!
Stop the music!
That's it. Party's over. Everyone out.
Oh, come on.
The little one was getting
wobbly at the knees.
Well, I'd love to stick around
and see how this plays out,
but I have a pocketful
of finger sandwiches
in urgent need of refrigeration.
I can't believe you lied to me.
You lie to me all the time.
Exactly.
Which means you stole my thing.
So now you are a liar and a thief.
Ha!
Never mind her.
I can't believe you lied
to your own grandmother.
What is this all about, Hartley?
I thought you loved
having those tea parties.
I used to, Grandma,
but I've outgrown them.
And I know how much you love them, so,
I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry for what?
I've been waiting years
for this day to come.
I only kept doing it because
I thought you liked it.
- Really?
- Yes, really.
I don't even like tea.
Although, I do like to spill it.
I guess I should've spoken up sooner.
You can always be honest with me.
Even if it hurts my feelings,
at least I'll know it's the truth.
You can't live your whole life
trying to make other people happy.
I know I don't.
Thanks, Grandma.
You were right.
If I had just taken your advice
in the first place,
none of this would've happened.
Yeah, well, you know, sometimes you
just have to learn things on your own.
I mean, there are plenty of bad situations
I could have avoided
if I had just taken your advice.
Hmm. Does that mean
you'll listen next time?
No.
I spent the whole day trying to
not let you and my grandma down,
and all I did was let myself down
by turning my birthday into a big mess.
I went from having two parties
to no party at all.
Not necessarily.
[techno music playing]
Whoo! Now, this is a party.
Happy birthday to me!
[all cheer]
Time for me to drop it like it's ho
[screams]
Hey, it's not a party till
you break something, am I right?
[music resumes]
[theme music playing]