Leanne (2025) s02e07 Episode Script

[upbeat theme music playing]
[Leanne] Previously on Leanne.
I tell you what we're gonna do.
And by we, I mean you.
You're gonna gather your marbles,
put them back in your head,
and apologize to that woman.
I think we're beyond that.
Faye told me
to get out of her life forever.
I hired Bill to rebuild
my burnt-up kitchen.
What's your game here, Bill?
You trying to worm your way
back into my life
with your tasteful cabinet choices
and your daddy whispering?
Well, believe it or not, Leanne,
this project isn't about you.
It's about me. And these.
This is good for me.
And it's good for John.
Gives us a… a sense of purpose.
Then white oak is very nice.
Thank you.
[sighs] We reached a tentative agreement.
I-- I can be part of the baby's life
as long as I'm not part of hers
in any way, shape, or form.
Sorry about that.
Yeah, me too.
So, uh,
pillow and a blanket?
Absolutely.
Thank you.
At the Hampton Inn.
[lively music playing]
["I Ran (So Far Away)"
by A Flock of Seagulls playing]
I walked along the avenue ♪
I never thought
I'd meet a girl like you ♪
Meet a girl like you ♪
With auburn hair and tawny eyes ♪
The kind of eyes
That hypnotize me through ♪
You hypnotize me through ♪
And I ran, I ran so far away ♪
I just ran, I ran all night and day ♪
I couldn't get away ♪
-[Leanne] Hello? Bill?
-[song ends]
Hey.
Just got here myself.
That's why you just heard the door shut.
This cannot be
Mama and Daddy's old kitchen.
I don't smell fried onions.
The sad yellow appliances are gone.
And where are the racially questionable
salt and pepper shakers?
They were ducks.
In kimonos.
I put them in that bag with the rest
of the junk that survived the fire.
Ooh, I love junk.
I gotta hand it to you, Bill.
On budget and on time.
Mission accomplished.
Thank you so much.
Have a good life.
And if you see me at the grocery store,
a simple nod will do.
Hang on.
Showing off my craftsmanship
is not the only reason I invited you
to meet me here today.
I have a proposal,
but I need you to conceptualize my vision.
So, let's walk and talk.
Oh, my retainer! [chuckles]
Finally, something
from high school that still fits.
Okay, now hear me out.
I'm thinking I really should update
this room too, okay?
It's a little, uh,
how do I put this gently? Uh…
Country Bear Jamboree.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Well, it doesn't match the kitchen.
This house is a lace bra
with granny panties.
You see through my clothes?
What's the point?
No one's even living here.
[chuckles] Well,
you're right about that one.
That's for sure, I tell you that.
-But someday I--
-Don't start.
Daddy doesn't want to sell,
and I'm sick of arguing with him about it.
Well, so it's just sitting empty.
All the more reason to do it now.
I mean, it might take me months to finish,
but that's cool.
I owe you this, Leanne.
You're acting suspicious.
Thank you.
I didn't want to insult him
after all of his hard work.
Oh, okay, well,
suspicious or passionate, huh?
When I see something that
needs to be done, I can't move out of it.
I mean, move on from it.
Well, I guess it does look like
a restaurant that would serve catfish.
I'll take that as a yes.
I think I found something important.
-What is it?
-Daddy's will.
"If and when I die,
it all goes to the girls. John."
If I die?
Makes sense. He thinks
his Lipitor makes him invincible.
Please tell me he's got something
more legally binding than this.
He hates lawyers. He hates spending money.
What do you think?
You need to take
that dirty thing out of your mouth,
and we need to go talk to a lawyer.
Guys, I think it might be stuck.
Bill, get the pliers. I'll hold her down.
[Carol gasps]
Leanne ♪
[lilting music playing]
I'm not sure that this would hold up
under any level of legal scrutiny.
Why not? It's on a legal pad.
Along with a reminder that Simon & Simon
got moved to Thursday nights.
That Gerald McRaney
would heat up my oven for your father.
I know we're not in court, but objection?
Okay, let's cut the chit-chat.
This guy's probably charging us
50 bucks an hour.
-Um…
-[Carol scoffs]
-Oh, Daddy, his rate is way--
-Carol, don't.
Withdrawn.
My strong recommendation is,
instead of a will, we draw up a trust,
which would include
your daughter's names on all your assets.
So that means
they own my stuff before I die?
Technically, you'd all be co-owners.
It can save you
a substantial amount on estate taxes.
What about my house?
It's your biggest asset,
so, yes, that would be in the trust.
There it is!
Whenever a lawyer says "trust," don't.
Nice try.
Excuse me?
Don't play dumb with me, princess.
Mama, a little help, please?
[scoffs] John, what has
put lumps in your gravy?
She's gonna own the house,
and then she's gonna
sell it out from under us.
That's not true!
The girls wouldn't do that.
Daddy, this is the first
we're hearing about co-ownership.
Oh, yeah?
How do I know y'all aren't in cahoots?
Because if I was in cahoots,
I wouldn't choose these two.
And for the record,
I also am not in cahoots.
I'm so sorry. Normally,
we have these kind of fights in private.
If… If you need a minute
to talk things out--
So you can keep the meter running
and go flirt with your secretary?
Meeting adjourned.
Daddy, why are you being
so difficult right now?
We're just trying to get a will done.
Please sit down.
No. I'm going to the VFW,
where people have my back.
Oh, yeah? How? I drove.
Your feet don't even reach
the pedals in my car.
Eh…
You know, I survived
the jungles of Vietnam.
I think I can handle
the mean streets of Knoxville.
John.
Yeah, I apologize
on behalf of me and Leanne and
our single daughter, Carol,
who usually dresses better.
[whimsical music playing]
[Leanne] We'll have to find a new lawyer
because I can't show
my face in there again.
Relax. He reads family wills.
He's probably seen blood on the walls.
Our neighbor left
all his money to a parakeet.
The children were crestfallen.
How are you so calm?
Daddy just called us all thieves.
That's just his process.
That's true.
He gets mad, he storms out,
then he comes back saying,
"I figured it out,"
and then tells you your idea.
It's a man's way.
The more you push, the hotter he'll be.
But he's wrong.
Yes, but he has
to come to that on his own.
Right now, you need to just let him be.
Apropos of nothing,
if Daddy doesn't forgive Leanne,
am I looking at parakeet money?
I'm not apologizing to that geezer.
We've all been tiptoeing around Daddy
for too many years.
I'm the one that should be mad.
It sounds like you are.
Dang right I am!
To heck with his man's way.
My way is to march down to that VFW
and yell at him until he admits I'm right!
Well, I'd say don't,
but it may work in my favor financially,
so you get in there and be yourself!
[lilting music playing]
Where's Bernie?
Over at the VA for his checkup.
Oh, great.
Yeah, he's gonna strut in here
bragging about his perfect colon,
saying, "Well, it's as smooth
as a water slide."
[chuckles]
The man won't let you forget
he can still cut his own toenails.
[Daddy John] Mm.
Jackass.
Still, I'd take a bullet
for that magnificent son of a bitch.
Well, I already did. Right in the keister.
Got me a sweet, sweet airlift
right to a Saigon whorehouse.
Mm. To Bernie.
[all] To Bernie.
Hey, boys.
It's me, Leanne.
Daddy, it's your daughter.
Oh, we know who you are.
Duke, the last time I was here,
you asked me to marry you.
Dodged a bullet there.
[Daddy John] Yeah.
Daddy, what have you been telling them?
The truth.
You held me prisoner at your house,
and now you're trying to steal mine.
That is simply not true!
I'm just trying to set you up
for success in death.
Probably could have put that better.
See. That's the way the kids do it.
Make you think that
they got your best interests at heart,
but next thing you know, they sold
your motorcycle and your chainsaw.
Sounds like your children love you
and wanna keep you around.
Well, without a motorcycle
and a chainsaw, what's the point?
That you're not just a torso in a helmet?
Hey, don't come in here
and disrespect my friends.
Can I please just tell y'all
my side of the story?
I'll tell it for you.
"I'm greedy."
The end.
Y'all are all so mean.
But thank you for your service,
and I'll buy a round on the way out.
Who is that now?
Hey, Mama, how are you with all this
"my house" stuff coming out of Daddy?
I mean, it's your house too.
Well, sometimes when
you've been married so long,
"me" means "we."
[Carol] Mm.
Well, next time Daddy says,
"Get me a beer,"
I'm bringing you one too.
And that's why my half of the house
is going right to you.
[Carol chuckles]
Uh-oh. Leanne's doing
her I-did-not-get-my-way walk.
[sighs] I told her to let him be.
If we didn't know her, I'd lock the doors.
[exhales]
So how'd that go for you?
[pensive music playing]
[exhales]
Hello, Father.
Oh, boy.
That's right, oh, boy.
How can you not trust me?
Because you dragged me to a lawyer
to try to steal my house.
-That is not what I was doing.
-[Daddy John grunts]
I've never once
tried to trick you or lie to you
or dupe you into doing something
you didn't want to do.
I've never even fibbed to you.
Except that was a hickey
on my neck after prom,
not a reaction to Clearasil.
But that's nothing compared to Carol
stealing from the collection plate
to buy cigarettes!
You just had to rat her out, didn't you?
-Can anybody trust you?
-Yes.
Daddy, I'm just trying to help you,
and I think you owe me an apology.
We got a problem.
Yes, we do.
Where are my pickles?
What?
My kosher baby dill pickles.
Where are they?
They expired. I threw them out.
Ah! The last betrayal.
They would have made you sick.
Well, we'll never know now.
You know, you keep trying to run my life,
from where I live to what doctor I go to,
and now you're after my stuff.
I'm done.
Where are you running off to now?
My own house
That I still own,
and will till the day I die.
I'm not trying to take it, you old coot!
What the…?
[gentle orchestral music playing over TV]
[door opens]
The hell are you doing here?
I was, uh, just chasing out a squatter
who was watching TV and eating popcorn.
Did he, uh, abscond with your pants?
Yes. Yes, he did.
How long you been living here?
Since Faye kicked me out.
[grunts] That's how they do it.
They give you your walking papers
and then tell you
it's for your own best interest.
What are you doing here?
Leanne kick you out?
I kicked myself out.
She threw away my pickles.
Who throws away pickles?
She said they expired.
That's ridiculous. Pickles are forever.
They only put a date on them
so people will buy more.
Thank you. Those sons of bitches.
Well, better get out of your hair.
No, no, no. Sit. Stay.
Somebody should be enjoying this place.
Oh, thanks.
[Daddy John] Oh.
I gotta tell you,
living in an RV on vacation is fun,
but when you got a newborn
for the weekend,
it just reminds you
that you don't have a house.
You having money trouble, son?
What's the step before trouble?
Uh, denial.
Then everything's great.
Sleeping in Leanne's old bedroom
under her Duran Duran poster
is a dream come true.
Well, I'm glad you're here
and your little boy.
This is a family house.
This is the way it's supposed to be.
I appreciate that, John.
Just don't get too comfy.
Your ex-wife is gunning for it.
Says who? She told me
selling it was off the table.
Ha! And you trusted her?
Well, yeah.
I trust Leanne more than anybody I know.
Everybody in Knoxville trusts Leanne.
She's been counting
the collection box money
for as long as
Carol's been stealing from it.
Why is everybody throwing
sweet Carol under the bus today?
Sweet Carol?
What's really going on, John?
[exhales]
I don't know. Whenever something comes
between me and this house, I get a little…
Insane? Like a woman?
You want to live here or not?
I get it, okay? A lot of a man's pride
is tied up in his house.
Every time I drive past my old place,
I remember how good it felt
to put down that down payment.
Yeah, because it was proof that
you'd worked hard and you could provide.
I mean, without this place,
I-- I really don't know who I am.
You're still the patriarch
of this family, John. You always will be.
Eh, I don't know.
It feels like it's all going away.
Oh, no. No, it's not.
If it weren't for you,
I might not have a roof over my head.
It's hard for a man to look another man
in the eyes and say thank you, but…
thank you, John.
Well, I'm not giving you a hug
until you put some pants on.
[whimsical music playing]
Hey!
Did you talk to Daddy last night?
Nope. He didn't come home.
And you haven't called the cops?
Nope.
-It's a new day and a new me.
-Mm!
I'm letting things go, Carol.
-Meet loosey-goosey Leanne.
-[Carol chuckles]
Last night, I slept with no bra.
No bra. What's next for you, Birkenstocks?
Maybe. They come
in really cute colors now.
So we can finally let the dishes pile up
in the sink and do them the next morning?
Sure. I don't mind
a couple of fruit flies.
And it wouldn't bother you
if this potted plant
was a little off-center?
I'm fine.
Stop that!
-I said "loosey-goosey," not "psycho."
-[Carol chuckles]
Leaving Daddy alone
is taking all the strength I got.
Well, you're about to be put to the test.
Here comes a walking
off-center plant right now.
Hey, Daddy, good morning. How are you?
What do you want, Carol?
Nothing. I'm just welcoming a father home
like a daughter should. Right, Leanne?
I got nothing to say.
Well, I do.
I made an appointment with the lawyer.
You suing me?
Something like that.
Gonna want to put your bra on
for that one.
[pensive music playing]
[Mama Margaret] You know what
I thought would be sweet, John,
is if we left our gravy boat
to that nice man at the gas station
who always checks our tire pressure.
Are we really gonna go
through this plate by plate?
Is it possible we can set Mama down
with a Knoxville phone book
and get back to you with a list?
John and I worked out a rate.
You take as long as you want.
Well, you're so kind.
How are you fixed for corncob holders?
I usually use my hands.
Well, when the good Lord takes me home,
your fingers are in for a vacation.
There's one more thing I want in there.
Bill Murphy gets to live in the house
as long as he needs.
What?
Wait, my half or Leanne's half?
Why is my ex-husband living
in my childhood home?
-Because he's on his ass.
-Good.
He's sleeping in your old bed.
Gross!
I-- I know it's weird,
but it's what he needs.
If that's okay with you.
It's what your daddy wants.
[exhales]
Then I love it.
Okay, we're finished.
You and I okay?
Almost.
I'd like to reintroduce
Leanne Murphy, my daughter.
There's been a lot said about her
in the last couple of days,
and a few things
written on the bathroom wall.
Well, I'm here to set the record straight.
She's a good girl.
Case closed.
Oh, thanks. I really am.
Well, I think you all owe her an apology.
-Sorry, Leanne, yeah.
-[veterans grumble]
I apologize too.
You know I love you.
Mm, I love you too, Daddy.
What's he saying now?
Oh, he's telling Leanne
she's his favorite.
-He always goes for the obvious.
-Mm.
You're my dark horse, Carol.
-Thanks, Mama.
-[Mama Margaret chuckles]
Ladies,
these are from the gentleman right there.
[Mama Margaret chuckles]
You think he has a house?
Well, don't ask him in that outfit.
[whimsical music playing]
[closing theme music playing]
Leanne ♪
Leanne ♪