Poker Face (2023) s02e07 Episode Script
One Last Job
1
- [SIRENS BLARING]
- [ENERGETIC ROCK MUSIC]
- [CAR ENGINE REVS]
- [SIRENS BLARE]
[TIRES SQUEAL]
[REMOTE BEEPING]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- See?
Isn't that so much better?
Now you see the difference?
Twenty-four frames per second is the
ideal frame rate to
please the human eye.
See, this is exactly how Edgar Wright
wants you to view his film.
Now in fact, uh, we have
the new 4K Blu-ray for sale
right here in SuperSave's
very own physical media section.
Oh, wow. Uh, Kendall, thanks.
If I was in the market for
a TV or even liked movies,
you're obviously the guy to talk to.
Uh, but I really still
need that blender.
That was the only thing I asked about.
Uh, could we head over
to kitchen appliances?
Of course. Right this way.
- [PA CHIMES]
- [OVER PA] Kendall Hines,
please report to the manager's office.
- Kendall Hines
- Uh, hey, Ariel,
can you show this guy
where the blenders
or the toasters or whatever are?
We wish you a Merry Christmas
and a happy new year ♪
Please bring us some figgy pudding ♪
[LAUGHS] Oh, no.
Shut the fuck up, man.
Should've had this
thing up a week ago.
We need to talk, huh?
About what, birthday boy?
Your funky-ass onion breath? [LAUGHS]
Is that why you got
toothpaste on your desk?
Oh, I hope that's toothpaste.
No, fucker. I read your heist script.
[KENDALL] Oh, shit. What'd you think?
Well, first off, I think if
it's this easy to rob a safe,
then I need to upgrade
our store security system.
[BOTH LAUGH]
- About the script?
- [BILL] Alright, fine.
I loved it, man.
I did. Like, from page one,
like, I felt like,
like I knew these people.
And then, I loved all the
little nods to the classics
like "Heat" and, uh,
"Inside Man" and "Oceans 11."
Yeah!
And then at the end when the thieves,
they all turned
on one another, bro, like,
I was on the edge of my seat.
- Thank you.
- You-you-you crushed it.
Yeah. For real?
[BILL] Yeah, for real, man,
just like you crushed
the 10 other scripts
that I read before this one.
So, when you gonna get out
to Hollywood where you belong
and put your talent to use, huh?
Ma-maybe if I just wrote one more,
just lights-out script.
You know what I mean? Just like,
I don't know, maybe, maybe like a,
a romantic comedy,
you know? [CHUCKLES]
Yeah, uh. [CHUCKLES]
That's it, man, um, you're fired.
[KENDALL LAUGHS]
What?
Look, SuperSave is cutting stores,
and, uh, this one could be next
on the chopping block
unless I can find a way
to cut shoplifting losses,
and, I mean, you've seen how it is.
These fuckers are
just loading up carts
with TVs and walking out.
It's gotten bad.
So the next few weeks,
I'm hiring security
to watch electronics and I'm
letting a few key personnel go.
But why me?
Hmm? And why are you
firing me on your birthday?
Well, at least I'm not
firing you on your birthday.
I mean [LAUGHS]
that would be worse if I
I need this job, man.
I got, I got bills to pay.
I got to feed myself.
Okay, well, lucky for you,
there's plenty of jobs in LA.
Go Uber or wait tables while
you chase your dreams, man.
You're, you're wasting yourself here.
You know something, Bill?
You're an asshole.
Man, you're a fucking asshole.
You wanna fire me?
Then just fire me. Alright?
Don't act like you're doing
me a favor when you do it.
[DOOR SLAMS]
[CHRISTMAS MUSIC
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh ♪
Oh, jingle bells jingle bells ♪
Jingle all the way ♪
Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh ♪
The alarm's disconnected on
the emergency door in the back.
I ain't cutting you in.
I don't give a shit. Alright?
I just got fired.
Oh, man, I'm, I'm real sorry
to hear about that.
Hey, why don't you let me
drop these off with my guy.
You can meet me over at Ding-A-Ling,
I'll buy you a couple mojitos,
you know, as a thank you.
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- [KENDALL]
It's not even the job I'm mad about.
I mean, fuck SuperSave
and everybody over there.
Except my friend betrayed me.
You know, it's the
principle of the thing.
Yeah, man. Principals,
teachers, all that shit.
I hear you. Super important.
Yeah, Bill says I should go
to Hollywood, make movies,
you know, like it's that simple.
Yeah, like you just
roll into Beverly Hills
in your Honda Accord and
they toss you an Arri Alexa
and a financially viable talent
package in your front seat.
No, it takes money, you know,
it takes connections.
All I've got are my scripts.
Wait, you mean, like
for movies and shit?
[KENDALL] Mostly crime movies.
Funny enough,
my latest script is about a guy
who gets fired from a SuperSave.
But the twist is that he returns
using his knowledge of heist movies
to rob the store's safe
for his revenge,
and he gets a puppy.
And a hot girlfriend.
Well, how much cash the dude get?
Two hundred thousand.
There's that much money
in big box stores?
I mean, after Black Friday
weekend, there is.
All you have to do is just,
like, get in there and take it.
The whole thing's all based
on the actual SuperSave
I work at, or used to work at.
I mean, point being,
the heist itself is foolproof.
We should do this.
Me and you.
You wanna finance
my independent movie?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Do I look like I'm stupid? No.
I'm saying we should do
the big box job,
but for real.
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
You mean rob the store?
Quick lick at the SuperSave, huh?
Two hundred K, we split
everything right down the middle.
The name's Juice, by the way.
Kendall.
Yo, Kendall.
I don't know what this is,
but this shit is crazy.
You've never seen "Heat"?
[BOLD, AMBIENT MUSIC PLAYING]
It's incredible.
[TV REMOTE BEEPS]
The action is the juice.
Right?
Listen, if your script is
anything like this movie,
well, then we got to get you
to Hollywood, man.
[KENDALL CHUCKLES]
What's the title of your movie?
"One Last Job."
That's hard. Pause.
We got to rob the store.
[KENDALL] Ah, man. I'm not a criminal.
I've-I've never even
gotten a traffic ticket.
All I know is movies.
Well, you're gonna need money
if you move to LA, right?
And plus, you said you
wanna get back at your boy.
So, that's like two birds.
I mean, you got all the
details worked out, right?
No, I just don't want
anybody to get hurt.
Who's gonna get hurt?
Okay, look, i-i-it's
gonna be me and you.
We're gonna go into the store at
night, we're gonna get the cash,
and then we're gonna go
our separate ways.
And then, one day,
I'm gonna be walking
into a movie theater
and you know whose name
I'm gonna see up there
on that big screen?
Yours, my friend.
So what do you say?
Me and you.
First, we're gonna need
a map of the store.
- My man.
- [SCRIPT THUDS]
[ESPIONAGE MUSIC PLAYING]
A cunning disguise.
Two duffle bags.
Bolt cutters.
An instant film camera.
Gooseneck clip.
And a UV flashlight.
We also need the safe room key.
[KEYS JINGLE]
We only need to copy the one key
so we'll make sure
he gets them back quickly.
Cleaning staff wraps up at 6:30 a.m.
♪
[DOOR CREAKS]
The armored truck
arrives for cash pickup
Monday at 7:00 a.m.,
so we have less than 30 minutes.
Once inside, we cut
the power at the breaker,
security cameras go down,
and we can move freely.
The camera in the safe room
runs on a separate system.
It has its own power source
that kicks in
45 seconds after
primary power goes out.
We are gonna use
a Polaroid photo to bypass it.
♪
I can't believe
we're actually doing this.
[JUICE] Yeah, man, we
are. So, get your ass going.
[KENDALL] Okay. Okay.
You ever see "Gone in 60 Seconds"?
Don't flex. You know I haven't.
Well, ever since we were kids,
Bill's been obsessed with sour
cream and onion and potato chips.
Uh-huh.
And you know what
glows in a black light?
- [JUICE] Semen.
- [KENDALL] What?
- [FLASHLIGHT CLICKS]
- Canola oil.
[JUICE LAUGHS]
- [KENDALL] Zero, one, three, four.
- [SAFE BUTTONS BEEP]
[HANDLE RATTLES]
- Uh-uh. Zero, three, one, four.
- [SAFE BUTTONS BEEP]
[HANDLE RATTLES]
[JUICE] Come on,
player, we got to move.
- Four, three, one, zero.
- [SAFE BUTTONS BEEP]
- [HANDLE RATTLES]
- [JUICE]
Come on, we got 15 minutes. Move it.
[KENDALL] Well, one of
these combos is gonna work.
[SAFE HANDLE RATTLES]
[OBJECT BANGS DISTANTLY]
- [JUICE] Did you hear that?
- [KENDALL] Yeah.
[JUICE] Alright, you get them
bills. And I'll go check it out.
- Three, one, four, zero.
- [HANDLE RATTLES]
- Alright, one, zero, four, three.
- [HANDLE RATTLES]
Four, three, one, zero.
Come on, come on.
- [LIGHT BEEPS]
- Yes.
[SAFE HANDLE CLICKING]
[SAFE DOOR SQUEAKS]
Holy shit.
That's a lot more than 200 grand.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[ZIPPER BUZZES]
[BAG THUDS]
- [ZIPPER BUZZES]
- [BAG THUDS]
Yo, Juice.
We clear?
Well, what he doesn't know
won't hurt him.
[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
Yoo-hoo?
[BAGS THUD]
[LOCK RATTLING]
[BAG RUSTLES]
[LOCK CLICKING]
- [JUICE COUGHING]
- Ah, Juice. My man?
I, uh, I just thought I heard a noise.
[BILL] What juice?
[IN GRUFF VOICE] Okay, buster,
uh, don't move and you won't get hurt.
[LAUGHS] Kendall, what the
What you wearing a mask for?
What the fuck are you doing here?
Oh, shit. Okay.
Uh, look, I know this looks
really bad, but I can explain.
[GUNSHOT]
[BILL THUDS]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[GUNSHOTS]
[JUICE] Listen, I already did
20 years in jail for a witness.
I ain't going down that road again.
Look, we got, uh, nine minutes
until that armored car gets here.
That's-that's-that's Bill.
That's-that's-that's my friend.
You killed my friend.
Okay, so, I'll take care
of the body and, uh,
here, you clean up the mess.
[CLAPS] Let's go. Move.
Alright, let's go.
Come on, man.
[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
Hey, man, 30 seconds. We got to go.
I said I'm on it.
[JUICE] Hey, this is perfect.
They're gonna think that
homeboy got off with the cash.
Yeah, it's perfect.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
- [GUNSHOT]
- [WOMAN BLARES]
[REMOTE BEEPS]
[POP MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
What are you, like a rom-com gal?
Okay.
Oh, cool. See you studying.
You know, I had a brief stint
in the education sector,
but, uh, well, it just
wasn't really my bag, so.
Yeah, heh.
You're up, delivery girl.
Oh, cool.
SuperSave on Fourth and M.
Uh, hey, it's, uh, Charlie, actually.
Okay.
Alright. Okay, you're studying.
Alright, leaving.
Huh. Fun. You're fun.
Okay. Bye, Jenny.
- Headed out.
- [DOOR BELLS JANGLE]
[CAR DOOR THUDS]
[KEYS JINGLE]
Uh, hey?
- Hello, food.
- [BILL] Oh.
- Hi.
- [BILL] Hey.
- Hey.
- Food delivery.
- Sorry, uh
- [KEYPAD BEEPS]
- Hello, uh
- Hi. S-sorry to keep you
Tandoor delivery. For you.
- So there you go.
- Oh.
Okay. Thank you, uh, Tandoor.
Ah, oh, uh, my name's
Charlie, actually,
I just, uh It's a
- Uh
- Oh.
You were trying to make a joke.
Yeah, uh, well, uh, I was
trying [LAUGHS] at least.
Also, ouch. [LAUGHS]
Okay, um bye.
Auf wiedersehen.
Eh.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Alright. And see you.
Kiss me, out of the bearded barley ♪
- [PHONE RINGS]
- You'll wear those shoes ♪
And I will wear that dress, oh, oh ♪
Tandoor.
Kiss me ♪
Beneath the milky twilight ♪
- Lead me ♪
- [PHONE RINGS]
- Out on the moonlit floor ♪
- [JENNY] Tandoor.
Lift your open hand ♪
- [PHONE RINGS]
- Strike up the band ♪
And make the fireflies dance ♪
Silver moon's sparkling ♪
SuperSave on Fourth and M, again.
Hm, well, seems like
somebody really likes naan.
[JENNY] He asked if you
were working tonight.
- [CHARLIE CHUCKLES]
- So, is he cute?
I bet he is. He has
a sexy phone voice.
Oh, I threw in free samosas.
Hot guys love samosas.
Who even are you right now?
Like, seriously, what is happening?
Wait, but don't you realize?
Ordering from the same
restaurant night after night,
just to get to know the delivery girl,
classic rom-com move.
SuperSave stud is trying
to rizz you up, Charlie.
This is your love story.
Let's not get carried away,
Jenny. Okay?
[KEY PAD BEEPS]
- [CHARLIE] Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi, again.
- [BILL] Hey.
So, uh, dinner's served.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, sure.
And, uh, samosas on the house.
Oh.
Okay, uh, well, then I proudly
accept this fried offering
to commemorate the day of my birth.
- It's your birthday?
- Uh, it's tomorrow, actually.
I'm sorry. I'm, I'm Bill, by the way.
I am Charlie.
Hey, um
uh
do you think?
Dinner.
Yes, now I'm meeting
him tonight at big box.
I don't know what to wear.
Who am I becoming?
I mean, I don't know. I kinda like it.
This is the first date now.
Make or break time.
[CHARLIE CHUCKLES]
[PAPER SLAPS]
What is this?
This is a little list
I've been putting together.
The birthday gift needs
to make Bill feel like
you just get him intuitively
but if it's too bespoke,
you'll come off as a psycho stalker.
On the other hand,
if it's too generic,
then he'll think that
you're not that interested,
or worse, basic.
And, uh, if the date's
going really well,
make sure that you forget
something at Bill's place.
Ah, like what? My chastity?
No, something valuable,
like, um, your sunglasses.
And that way, you have
a reason to go back
and see him again.
Huh? Well, very clever.
Yeah. It's called the leave behind.
- It's a trope, but it works.
- Okay.
Ooh, does Bill have any friends
that you know about?
Maybe like a quirky
but non-threatening coworker?
Uh. Hi, psst, hi.
Hey, uh, do you happen to know Bill,
the-the-the-the manager?
I do indeed. Uh, why do you ask?
Actually, he asked me
on a little date.
So it's our, uh, it's our first date.
It's like a dinner.
It happens to be his birthday,
and, yeah, I guess I was
hoping that maybe you could,
I don't know, uh, steer me
in the right direction,
you know, like gifting wise.
Okay, I see. I see.
Well, you know, Bill is my boy,
and he did just get out
of a pretty bad breakup.
So, you know, before I go
and give you advice
on some romantic gift
should really find out if you,
uh, are actually worthy.
Uh, okay.
Which "Mission Impossible"
is the best?
[CHARLIE LAUGHS]
- Seriously?
- This is your mission,
should you choose to accept it.
This offer will self-destruct
in 10 seconds.
- It's also my lunch break.
- [WATCH BEEPS]
Okay. Uh, wow.
Okay, so, uh, I don't know,
I guess, uh, Tom Cruise,
he, uh, uh
- Okay, uh
- Time's up.
Alright, uh,
"Mission Impossible," uh, one.
Alright, alright, alright. Okay.
Has Bill told you about Betty?
Like I said, it's a first date,
so it's pretty casual.
We're not really doing,
uh, big talks about exes.
Oh, no, no, uh, uh,
Betty's his new motorcycle.
- Ah.
- Yeah, it's his baby.
So if you get him something
chopper related, he'll love it.
Okay. Oh, thank you. Okay.
Betty. Chopper. I was never here.
Excuse me. I-I'm in a big hurry.
Could you help me choose a blender?
Yes. Yes.
But first, let me show you something.
- You carry your own remote?
- Yeah, of course.
Now follow me right here.
You're gonna love this.
Now you see this right here?
[MOTORCYCLE REVS]
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
Wow.
Oh.
- [BILL CHUCKLES]
- Hi.
[BILL] Hi.
So, uh, in honor of your birth.
What?
Okay, a gift.
You didn't have to do that.
Open it. Open, open.
Okay. Alright.
[BELL JINGLES]
Is this a guardian bell?
[CHARLIE] Yeah, I did some, uh,
incredibly limited research in there.
Well, they told me that if
you hang this on your chopper,
and, uh, I guess the ring-a-ling,
it, uh, wards off these evil spirits
if you're on the open road, so
Yeah, that's exactly right.
Yeah? Thank God.
Damn, that's cool.
- Wow.
- Yo, I love this.
Cool. You really mean that?
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah, why would I
[CHUCKLES] Why would I lie?
Exactly.
Please, allow me to lead you
to the finest dinner spot in town.
- Okay.
- Okay?
- Okay.
- Alright.
Just in here.
[CHARLIE] In there?
- [BILL] Yeah.
- [CHARLIE] Okay.
Oh, wow.
[BILL] It's not too much, is it?
Ah, no, no.
I was, uh
I was kinda going
for sweetly romantic,
but now I'm worried I might
have tipped all the way over
into cornball cheese.
[CHARLIE] No, no, no, it's, uh
I genuinely think it's, uh
squarely in the sweetly
romantic sweet spot.
- Okay, good.
- Yes, I, uh, I like it.
Glad you like it. Um, good.
Uh, oh, uh, do you happen
to have a ladies room
that I could, uh
Yeah, of course. It's just,
uh, straight back to the left.
Alright. Uh, this is really nice.
- I'm excited. Okay, thanks.
- [BILL] Okay, well,
- I'm glad you like it.
- Okay.
[BILL] Don't get lost.
Alright.
[SIGHS]
The ol' classic leave behind.
Oh, boy, are you sure,
uh, old man SuperSave
won't be upset that
we're here after hours?
Oh, no, no, no. I run the place.
Besides, these cameras
aren't even recording.
Old boss, he taught me
a looping trick,
and it's kinda come
in clutch lately. [LAUGHS]
- I see.
- The truth is,
I just, uh, I got out
of a pretty serious
relationship recently.
- Okay.
- So yeah, I've just been living
out of my office for, like,
the past month or so,
just until I can find a new place.
Yeah, but if the cameras
aren't working, uh,
aren't you worried
there could be a break-in?
Oh, no, no, I push this thing once
and a assault squad of cops
shows up in, like, five minutes.
Ah, police state, reassuring.
- Crazy, right?
- Yes. Yeah.
- Yeah, it's pretty cool.
- Okay.
- [BELL TINKLING]
- [BILL LAUGHS]
I'm still geeking out
over this guardian bell.
It's like, it's just really,
really thoughtful. [LAUGHS]
[CHARLIE] Well, you should
thank your, uh, movie nerd buddy.
Yeah, he's the one that
alerted me to your whole, uh,
chopper fixation.
- Oh, Kendall, huh?
- Yeah.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, we've been
pretty tight since, like,
fourth grade, ever since
we got into a fist fight
about whether or not "Die
Hard" is a Christmas movie.
It is obviously
a Christmas movie, so
It's definitely
a Christmas movie, but he,
- he would claim
- Yeah.
that a true Christmas movie
must feature Santa.
Right, well, you got Bruce
Willis in the hat, so it's
Yes, but Kendall would say
it doesn't even count
because that's not the real Santa.
Oh, I'm sorry. Like, a real Santa?
- Real Santa?
- [BILL LAUGHS]
No, you, you preachin'
to the choir right here,
'cause I it's been
going on forever.
I mean, anyway, we-we kept at it
for, like, the next 20 years.
Mm.
Twenty years.
Actually had to let him go today.
Wait, you fired him?
Yeah.
[SCOFFS]
Geez. What was that like?
Uh, not great,
but maybe this'll light a fire
under his ass, you know?
I, uh, I just read
his latest movie script.
It's so good.
It's like his best one yet.
It's like a, a love letter
to all of the cool,
old heist movies that
we ever grew up watching.
- Mm.
- Kendall belongs in Hollywood.
He's just too scared to
actually go for it, you know?
But maybe this, maybe
this'll be the push he needs
to finally give it a try.
Here's to tough love.
- Tough love.
- [GLASSES CLINK]
[BILL CHUCKLES]
[CHARLIE] What about you?
Where do you belong?
- Right here.
- SuperSave?
Look, I know this,
this might sound corny,
but I like to think of
SuperSave as being this, uh,
this modern-day town square.
Mm.
'Cause people wanna gather. Right?
- People want rituals.
- Mm.
- Human connections.
- Mm.
It's just
- Basic needs?
- It's just basic needs.
Oh, I see.
It's like a human connection.
That's all it is.
Just
Right?
[BLUES MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
Uh, I'm so sorry.
There's, like, a
There's a creepy guy
standing over there.
- He's, uh, checking me out.
- [BILL] What?
[CHARLIE] Giving me the hairy eyeball.
- You see it too?
- [BILL LAUGHS]
Is he trying to join this party
I'm sorry, I sorry.
Can you, uh, get me
out of there, 'cause
- I am gonna get you out of here.
- I just don't like the way
You don't like people staring? Mm?
- No, I don't.
- No?
[BLUES MUSIC CONTINUES]
I've been thinking about,
like, maybe settling down,
getting one of these, uh,
normal lives I've heard about.
- [BILL] Oh, yeah?
- Just that, when I picture it
in my head, I can't really, uh,
see it, you know?
And maybe, uh, I'll be honest, I,
I'm beginning to suspect that, like,
maybe my normal is just
a little bit weird. [LAUGHS]
Oh, no, I think maybe you should
maybe you should stick
around here for a while.
- Mm.
- Maybe
our normal might be
weird enough for you?
Hmm.
- [GLASS THUDS]
- Well, maybe it is.
Yeah? I'd like that.
Okay. Maybe.
"It's a Wonderful Life."
Yeah, I'd agree, on a night
like tonight, it certainly is.
No, "It's a Wonderful Life,"
it's indisputably a Christmas movie.
- Oh.
- Nary a Santa in sight. Come on.
[BILL LAUGHS] You got
to take that up with Kendall.
- Yes. Yes, sir.
- Please.
Yes, I will.
[BILL LAUGHS]
No, it's a
this is a wonderful night, thank you.
Oh, crap.
- [CHARLIE] What?
- We open in, uh, a few hours.
- Ah, wow.
- Black Friday's coming up.
So [SIGHS]
busiest time of the year.
Oh, right. Ah.
I'd love to see you again.
Oh, really?
Yes, really.
Can I call you?
Yeah. Tandoor.
- That's where you'll be?
- Got the number? Yeah.
- I do.
- Alright.
[GENTLE ACOUSTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
From the first moment I met you,
your arrogance and conceit,
your selfish disdain
for the feelings of others,
made me realize
that you were
the last man in the world
I could ever be
prevailed upon to marry.
He said he would call on Monday.
- I don't know.
- [JENNY] It's Monday.
- Well, maybe he's busy.
- Why hasn't he called?
Oh, it's Cyber Monday, I'm told,
so maybe this is when he does
his discounted shopping
- and, uh
- I know what's happening.
This is the part of the story
where there's a mix-up
and it seems like
they won't end up together,
but ultimately it is
revealed to be the test
through which true love
will finally prevail.
[PHONE RINGS]
Tandoor. Uh-huh. What's the address?
SuperSave on Fourth and M.
Whoo, baby!
What would you like?
[CAR DOOR SLAMS]
Hey.
Hey, what's happening?
- Lunch. Thank you.
- Informative.
[REPORTER] A representative
from SuperSave told Channel 2
that nearly $400,000 was stolen.
The leading suspect,
store manager Bill Jackson.
I-I-I'm so sorry.
Uh, what did you say?
- [REPORTER SIGHS]
- Cut.
Hey. [LAUGHS]
Mind if I join you?
I was supposed
to meet Bill here today.
He's an acquaintance of mine, uh,
and they're saying
that he, uh, split town?
I'm not on the clock, you know?
Yeah, sorry about that. It's, uh
Bill's probably halfway
to Cancun by now.
Really? I, I
That doesn't sound like him.
I mean, not at all.
Bill loves this place. Yeah.
Why would he rob it?
Because money?
[BAG THUDS]
That's 50-50, just like we said.
That's an extra 500.
I got a thousand for the bike,
for selling it to the chop shop.
- [KENDALL] Thanks.
- Oh, man,
I'm Shit. I'm sorry about your boy.
Better him than
either one of us, right?
I-I got to know something.
You-you-you took care of the body?
Yeah, I told you.
How'd-how'd you do it?
Did you burn him in an incinerator?
Did, did you dissolve
his body in acid,
"Breaking Bad" style?
I-I-I got to know.
No, no, it was nothing like that.
I switched his body with a mannequin.
Yeah, I put the Santa suit
on him, man. [LAUGHS]
You what?
Yeah, like "Weekend at Bernie's."
Now that shit, that is
a motherfuckin' movie.
The cops are gonna find him.
Yeah, no shit, eventually.
But we'll both be long gone by then.
Besides, it's not like
either one of us has
a reason to ever go back there.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[GASPS] Oh, hey, Kendall, hey.
Have you heard from Bill?
Uh, no, no.
Are you, uh, are you looking for him?
Yeah, well, gosh, I, I
The cop said that he robbed the store
and then he, uh,
took off with the money.
But I mean, Bill, I mean,
he wouldn't rob this place.
- You know that, right?
- Well, look,
you know, Bill just
kicked me to the curb.
I mean, that shit still stings, so
No, Bill did not kick you to the curb.
All he did is he just
gave you a little, uh,
push out of the nest. [CHUCKLES]
Yeah, I think, I think
we're saying the same thing.
[CHARLIE] Yeah, Bill, man,
he's like your,
your biggest fan, you know.
You should hear him talk
about your script.
He really, really believes in you.
Yeah, it's like the only reason
he even fired you.
It was just tough love, man, yeah.
He wanted to make sure that, uh,
you know, you gave yourself a shot.
Oh, hey, um, Bill did fire you.
So, what are you even doing here?
Oh, I, uh, I left
something in my locker.
I'm just gonna clear everything out.
Alright, see ya. Yeah, okay.
Gosh. [SIGHS]
Creepy Santa? Is that you?
I'm sorry. Where the heck
are your clothes?
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
Can't be in here, bub.
Active crime scene.
Oh, uh, my bad.
I-I was just trying to get
something out of my locker.
[OFFICER] Let's go.
Okay.
[INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
[SOFT CHRISTMAS MUSIC
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHARLIE] [GASPS] Oh, my God!
[BILL THUDS]
[SHOPPERS GASPING, CHATTERING]
Kendall, what the hell's going on?
What's everyone screaming about?
Uh, I have no idea.
- Is that a real person?
- Oh, shit.
[CHARLIE GASPING]
[OFFICER] Did the
deceased mention any plans
to rob the store?
No, the deceased
did not mention any plan
to rob the store, okay?
Bill loved this place. So
I mean, you guys really
still think that he did this?
Our working theory is that Bill
and an unknown accomplice
pulled off the heist together.
Then, you know, whoa, differences.
Then the accomplice killed Bill,
took off with the whole amount.
[OFFICER] We know that
Mr. Jackson was staying here overnight.
He was the only one
with the safe combination,
and we have proof
that he was manipulating
the security cameras.
No, no, Bill was only staying here
'cause he'd recently had
a breakup, okay?
So
- Wait. Can I?
- What?
Okay, uh, is that a Polaroid
in front of the camera?
Yeah. Like we told you,
he was manipulating them.
Okay, I-I-I'm sorry, but that's
that is not how Bill did it.
Look, his previous manager
had taught him
how to loop the footage, right?
So, why would Bill suddenly use
some, uh, janky ass,
and frankly,
weirdly expensive Polaroid.
Maybe he was just
a "Mission Impossible" fan.
Wanted to pay tribute.
This, uh, Polaroid gag,
that's from "Mission
Impossible III," right?
Best film in the entire series.
[DOOR CLICKS SHUT]
[KEYS CLINK]
[SOFT, HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING]
[JUICE] Oh, finally.
I had this paused for over an
hour waiting for you to come home.
I especially wanted you
to see this part.
Have a seat.
♪
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- [REPORTER] The leading suspect,
store manager Bill Jackson.
A representative from
SuperSave told Channel 2
that nearly $400,000 was stolen.
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- Nearly 400,000
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- Nearly 400,000
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- Nearly $400,000 was stolen.
[REMOTE BEEPS]
400,000?
That's funny, because
when I counted it, it was
a little less than three.
But I never actually saw
what was in the safe, did I?
I trusted you,
and you fuckin' lied to me.
Give me that.
- [BAG THUDS]
- Where's the rest?
Where's the fucking money?
In my locker in, in the break room.
- What's the combo?
- Come on, bro.
[GUN CLICKS]
Four, six, one, three.
Shit ain't like it is
in the movies, is it?
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[GUN CLICKING]
SuperSaver piece of shit.
- [GUN THUDS]
- Ah, fuck! Ow.
Whoa. Oh, oh, hey!
Ah, please, no.
[BLADE SLICES]
[JUICE GASPS, GAGS]
[BAT CLATTERS]
[JUICE GROANS]
[JUICE THUDS]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh, shit.
[OFFICER] The premises are clear,
and we're leaving the scene.
[MAN ON RADIO] Understood, 27.
We're clear and walking the perimeter.
Clearing the scene now,
returning to patrol.
[ZIPPER BUZZES]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHARLIE] You left
something in your locker, huh?
One, two, three, four. Hmm.
[LOCK CLICKS]
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
[SIGHS]
Huh? What, indeed?
Uh, giant skyscraper, uh,
Superman power arms, yeah.
Uh, classic original,
and, I don't know,
Philip Seymour Hoffman bad guy.
[LOCK CLICKS]
Oh, yes.
Man. Questionable order,
but I'll allow it.
[BAG RUSTLES]
Oh, fuck you. You son
of a bitch, come on.
[DOOR CREAKS]
[CHARLIE SIGHS]
Man, Bill believed in you,
like he really believed in you.
And then what do you do?
Y-y-you-you rob him.
You kill him. You put
his body on display.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Believe me, I am.
But I did not kill Bill.
No, you-you didn't, that's right.
- But I will kill you
- [GUN COCKS]
if you make me.
So drop the bag.
[BAG THUDS]
Put your hands up
and back away.
Okay, man, alright.
Just, if you didn't kill him, who did?
Look, none of that matters. Alright?
So what now? You just
you split town, you steal that cash,
and you pin this robbery on Bill?
And then what?
Everyone who cares about him
just thinks that
he was lying all along?
No one was supposed
to get hurt on this, alright?
Just, come on, let's just go. Come on.
[CHARLIE SIGHS]
Okay, so let me guess. So you
planned it all down
to the last detail,
you team up with some
motherfucker you think you can trust.
Night of the robbery, everything's
going exactly according to plan.
Suddenly, this guy turns out
to be a loose cannon
and then, boom,
everything goes to shit.
Then, you two turn on
each other 'cause of the cash.
- Is that about right?
- Wait, hold on a minute.
How do you know all that?
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe just 'cause it's the plot
of every fuckin'
heist movie ever made.
Well, this is the part
where I take the cash
and drive off into the sunset.
Oh, I see. Really?
Mm, I'm not sure
about that. [CLICKS TONGUE]
Don't push that.
Well, I-I actually,
I pushed it three minutes ago,
'cause this isn't some dumb,
fucking action movie.
[RAPID GUNFIRE]
Oh, shit. [BREATHES HEAVILY]
- [RAPID GUNFIRE]
- You were saying?
- [JUICE] Kendall!
- God, I stand corrected.
Where's my money?
- [RAPID GUNFIRE]
- The chick's got it.
- What?
- [REMOTE CLATTERS]
You fucking coward!
[GUNFIRE CONTINUES]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[JUICE COUGHS]
[JUICE] Kendall, where's my money?
Kendall.
[JUICE COUGHS]
[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
Kendall!
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- [GUNSHOTS]
[GASPS AND COUGHS]
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- [CHARLIE] [ON TV] Hey.
- Game over, psycho.
- [RAPID GUNFIRE]
[GUN CLICKING]
- Fuck!
- [GUN THUDS]
[JUICE GASPING, GROANING]
- [JUICE GROANING]
- [BLOOD SQUISHES]
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
- [JUICE THUDS]
- [SWORD CLATTERS]
[FOOTSTEPS THUDDING]
[BRIGHT, AMBIENT MUSIC SWELLS]
[ALARMS WAILING]
- [SIRENS BLARE]
- [OFFICERS YELLING]
♪
[OFFICER] Hands above your head!
[OFFICERS YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
♪
sync & corrections awaqeded
- [SIRENS BLARING]
- [ENERGETIC ROCK MUSIC]
- [CAR ENGINE REVS]
- [SIRENS BLARE]
[TIRES SQUEAL]
[REMOTE BEEPING]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- See?
Isn't that so much better?
Now you see the difference?
Twenty-four frames per second is the
ideal frame rate to
please the human eye.
See, this is exactly how Edgar Wright
wants you to view his film.
Now in fact, uh, we have
the new 4K Blu-ray for sale
right here in SuperSave's
very own physical media section.
Oh, wow. Uh, Kendall, thanks.
If I was in the market for
a TV or even liked movies,
you're obviously the guy to talk to.
Uh, but I really still
need that blender.
That was the only thing I asked about.
Uh, could we head over
to kitchen appliances?
Of course. Right this way.
- [PA CHIMES]
- [OVER PA] Kendall Hines,
please report to the manager's office.
- Kendall Hines
- Uh, hey, Ariel,
can you show this guy
where the blenders
or the toasters or whatever are?
We wish you a Merry Christmas
and a happy new year ♪
Please bring us some figgy pudding ♪
[LAUGHS] Oh, no.
Shut the fuck up, man.
Should've had this
thing up a week ago.
We need to talk, huh?
About what, birthday boy?
Your funky-ass onion breath? [LAUGHS]
Is that why you got
toothpaste on your desk?
Oh, I hope that's toothpaste.
No, fucker. I read your heist script.
[KENDALL] Oh, shit. What'd you think?
Well, first off, I think if
it's this easy to rob a safe,
then I need to upgrade
our store security system.
[BOTH LAUGH]
- About the script?
- [BILL] Alright, fine.
I loved it, man.
I did. Like, from page one,
like, I felt like,
like I knew these people.
And then, I loved all the
little nods to the classics
like "Heat" and, uh,
"Inside Man" and "Oceans 11."
Yeah!
And then at the end when the thieves,
they all turned
on one another, bro, like,
I was on the edge of my seat.
- Thank you.
- You-you-you crushed it.
Yeah. For real?
[BILL] Yeah, for real, man,
just like you crushed
the 10 other scripts
that I read before this one.
So, when you gonna get out
to Hollywood where you belong
and put your talent to use, huh?
Ma-maybe if I just wrote one more,
just lights-out script.
You know what I mean? Just like,
I don't know, maybe, maybe like a,
a romantic comedy,
you know? [CHUCKLES]
Yeah, uh. [CHUCKLES]
That's it, man, um, you're fired.
[KENDALL LAUGHS]
What?
Look, SuperSave is cutting stores,
and, uh, this one could be next
on the chopping block
unless I can find a way
to cut shoplifting losses,
and, I mean, you've seen how it is.
These fuckers are
just loading up carts
with TVs and walking out.
It's gotten bad.
So the next few weeks,
I'm hiring security
to watch electronics and I'm
letting a few key personnel go.
But why me?
Hmm? And why are you
firing me on your birthday?
Well, at least I'm not
firing you on your birthday.
I mean [LAUGHS]
that would be worse if I
I need this job, man.
I got, I got bills to pay.
I got to feed myself.
Okay, well, lucky for you,
there's plenty of jobs in LA.
Go Uber or wait tables while
you chase your dreams, man.
You're, you're wasting yourself here.
You know something, Bill?
You're an asshole.
Man, you're a fucking asshole.
You wanna fire me?
Then just fire me. Alright?
Don't act like you're doing
me a favor when you do it.
[DOOR SLAMS]
[CHRISTMAS MUSIC
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh ♪
Oh, jingle bells jingle bells ♪
Jingle all the way ♪
Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh ♪
The alarm's disconnected on
the emergency door in the back.
I ain't cutting you in.
I don't give a shit. Alright?
I just got fired.
Oh, man, I'm, I'm real sorry
to hear about that.
Hey, why don't you let me
drop these off with my guy.
You can meet me over at Ding-A-Ling,
I'll buy you a couple mojitos,
you know, as a thank you.
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- [KENDALL]
It's not even the job I'm mad about.
I mean, fuck SuperSave
and everybody over there.
Except my friend betrayed me.
You know, it's the
principle of the thing.
Yeah, man. Principals,
teachers, all that shit.
I hear you. Super important.
Yeah, Bill says I should go
to Hollywood, make movies,
you know, like it's that simple.
Yeah, like you just
roll into Beverly Hills
in your Honda Accord and
they toss you an Arri Alexa
and a financially viable talent
package in your front seat.
No, it takes money, you know,
it takes connections.
All I've got are my scripts.
Wait, you mean, like
for movies and shit?
[KENDALL] Mostly crime movies.
Funny enough,
my latest script is about a guy
who gets fired from a SuperSave.
But the twist is that he returns
using his knowledge of heist movies
to rob the store's safe
for his revenge,
and he gets a puppy.
And a hot girlfriend.
Well, how much cash the dude get?
Two hundred thousand.
There's that much money
in big box stores?
I mean, after Black Friday
weekend, there is.
All you have to do is just,
like, get in there and take it.
The whole thing's all based
on the actual SuperSave
I work at, or used to work at.
I mean, point being,
the heist itself is foolproof.
We should do this.
Me and you.
You wanna finance
my independent movie?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Do I look like I'm stupid? No.
I'm saying we should do
the big box job,
but for real.
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
You mean rob the store?
Quick lick at the SuperSave, huh?
Two hundred K, we split
everything right down the middle.
The name's Juice, by the way.
Kendall.
Yo, Kendall.
I don't know what this is,
but this shit is crazy.
You've never seen "Heat"?
[BOLD, AMBIENT MUSIC PLAYING]
It's incredible.
[TV REMOTE BEEPS]
The action is the juice.
Right?
Listen, if your script is
anything like this movie,
well, then we got to get you
to Hollywood, man.
[KENDALL CHUCKLES]
What's the title of your movie?
"One Last Job."
That's hard. Pause.
We got to rob the store.
[KENDALL] Ah, man. I'm not a criminal.
I've-I've never even
gotten a traffic ticket.
All I know is movies.
Well, you're gonna need money
if you move to LA, right?
And plus, you said you
wanna get back at your boy.
So, that's like two birds.
I mean, you got all the
details worked out, right?
No, I just don't want
anybody to get hurt.
Who's gonna get hurt?
Okay, look, i-i-it's
gonna be me and you.
We're gonna go into the store at
night, we're gonna get the cash,
and then we're gonna go
our separate ways.
And then, one day,
I'm gonna be walking
into a movie theater
and you know whose name
I'm gonna see up there
on that big screen?
Yours, my friend.
So what do you say?
Me and you.
First, we're gonna need
a map of the store.
- My man.
- [SCRIPT THUDS]
[ESPIONAGE MUSIC PLAYING]
A cunning disguise.
Two duffle bags.
Bolt cutters.
An instant film camera.
Gooseneck clip.
And a UV flashlight.
We also need the safe room key.
[KEYS JINGLE]
We only need to copy the one key
so we'll make sure
he gets them back quickly.
Cleaning staff wraps up at 6:30 a.m.
♪
[DOOR CREAKS]
The armored truck
arrives for cash pickup
Monday at 7:00 a.m.,
so we have less than 30 minutes.
Once inside, we cut
the power at the breaker,
security cameras go down,
and we can move freely.
The camera in the safe room
runs on a separate system.
It has its own power source
that kicks in
45 seconds after
primary power goes out.
We are gonna use
a Polaroid photo to bypass it.
♪
I can't believe
we're actually doing this.
[JUICE] Yeah, man, we
are. So, get your ass going.
[KENDALL] Okay. Okay.
You ever see "Gone in 60 Seconds"?
Don't flex. You know I haven't.
Well, ever since we were kids,
Bill's been obsessed with sour
cream and onion and potato chips.
Uh-huh.
And you know what
glows in a black light?
- [JUICE] Semen.
- [KENDALL] What?
- [FLASHLIGHT CLICKS]
- Canola oil.
[JUICE LAUGHS]
- [KENDALL] Zero, one, three, four.
- [SAFE BUTTONS BEEP]
[HANDLE RATTLES]
- Uh-uh. Zero, three, one, four.
- [SAFE BUTTONS BEEP]
[HANDLE RATTLES]
[JUICE] Come on,
player, we got to move.
- Four, three, one, zero.
- [SAFE BUTTONS BEEP]
- [HANDLE RATTLES]
- [JUICE]
Come on, we got 15 minutes. Move it.
[KENDALL] Well, one of
these combos is gonna work.
[SAFE HANDLE RATTLES]
[OBJECT BANGS DISTANTLY]
- [JUICE] Did you hear that?
- [KENDALL] Yeah.
[JUICE] Alright, you get them
bills. And I'll go check it out.
- Three, one, four, zero.
- [HANDLE RATTLES]
- Alright, one, zero, four, three.
- [HANDLE RATTLES]
Four, three, one, zero.
Come on, come on.
- [LIGHT BEEPS]
- Yes.
[SAFE HANDLE CLICKING]
[SAFE DOOR SQUEAKS]
Holy shit.
That's a lot more than 200 grand.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[ZIPPER BUZZES]
[BAG THUDS]
- [ZIPPER BUZZES]
- [BAG THUDS]
Yo, Juice.
We clear?
Well, what he doesn't know
won't hurt him.
[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
Yoo-hoo?
[BAGS THUD]
[LOCK RATTLING]
[BAG RUSTLES]
[LOCK CLICKING]
- [JUICE COUGHING]
- Ah, Juice. My man?
I, uh, I just thought I heard a noise.
[BILL] What juice?
[IN GRUFF VOICE] Okay, buster,
uh, don't move and you won't get hurt.
[LAUGHS] Kendall, what the
What you wearing a mask for?
What the fuck are you doing here?
Oh, shit. Okay.
Uh, look, I know this looks
really bad, but I can explain.
[GUNSHOT]
[BILL THUDS]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[GUNSHOTS]
[JUICE] Listen, I already did
20 years in jail for a witness.
I ain't going down that road again.
Look, we got, uh, nine minutes
until that armored car gets here.
That's-that's-that's Bill.
That's-that's-that's my friend.
You killed my friend.
Okay, so, I'll take care
of the body and, uh,
here, you clean up the mess.
[CLAPS] Let's go. Move.
Alright, let's go.
Come on, man.
[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
Hey, man, 30 seconds. We got to go.
I said I'm on it.
[JUICE] Hey, this is perfect.
They're gonna think that
homeboy got off with the cash.
Yeah, it's perfect.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
- [GUNSHOT]
- [WOMAN BLARES]
[REMOTE BEEPS]
[POP MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
What are you, like a rom-com gal?
Okay.
Oh, cool. See you studying.
You know, I had a brief stint
in the education sector,
but, uh, well, it just
wasn't really my bag, so.
Yeah, heh.
You're up, delivery girl.
Oh, cool.
SuperSave on Fourth and M.
Uh, hey, it's, uh, Charlie, actually.
Okay.
Alright. Okay, you're studying.
Alright, leaving.
Huh. Fun. You're fun.
Okay. Bye, Jenny.
- Headed out.
- [DOOR BELLS JANGLE]
[CAR DOOR THUDS]
[KEYS JINGLE]
Uh, hey?
- Hello, food.
- [BILL] Oh.
- Hi.
- [BILL] Hey.
- Hey.
- Food delivery.
- Sorry, uh
- [KEYPAD BEEPS]
- Hello, uh
- Hi. S-sorry to keep you
Tandoor delivery. For you.
- So there you go.
- Oh.
Okay. Thank you, uh, Tandoor.
Ah, oh, uh, my name's
Charlie, actually,
I just, uh It's a
- Uh
- Oh.
You were trying to make a joke.
Yeah, uh, well, uh, I was
trying [LAUGHS] at least.
Also, ouch. [LAUGHS]
Okay, um bye.
Auf wiedersehen.
Eh.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Alright. And see you.
Kiss me, out of the bearded barley ♪
- [PHONE RINGS]
- You'll wear those shoes ♪
And I will wear that dress, oh, oh ♪
Tandoor.
Kiss me ♪
Beneath the milky twilight ♪
- Lead me ♪
- [PHONE RINGS]
- Out on the moonlit floor ♪
- [JENNY] Tandoor.
Lift your open hand ♪
- [PHONE RINGS]
- Strike up the band ♪
And make the fireflies dance ♪
Silver moon's sparkling ♪
SuperSave on Fourth and M, again.
Hm, well, seems like
somebody really likes naan.
[JENNY] He asked if you
were working tonight.
- [CHARLIE CHUCKLES]
- So, is he cute?
I bet he is. He has
a sexy phone voice.
Oh, I threw in free samosas.
Hot guys love samosas.
Who even are you right now?
Like, seriously, what is happening?
Wait, but don't you realize?
Ordering from the same
restaurant night after night,
just to get to know the delivery girl,
classic rom-com move.
SuperSave stud is trying
to rizz you up, Charlie.
This is your love story.
Let's not get carried away,
Jenny. Okay?
[KEY PAD BEEPS]
- [CHARLIE] Hi.
- Hey.
- Hi, again.
- [BILL] Hey.
So, uh, dinner's served.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, sure.
And, uh, samosas on the house.
Oh.
Okay, uh, well, then I proudly
accept this fried offering
to commemorate the day of my birth.
- It's your birthday?
- Uh, it's tomorrow, actually.
I'm sorry. I'm, I'm Bill, by the way.
I am Charlie.
Hey, um
uh
do you think?
Dinner.
Yes, now I'm meeting
him tonight at big box.
I don't know what to wear.
Who am I becoming?
I mean, I don't know. I kinda like it.
This is the first date now.
Make or break time.
[CHARLIE CHUCKLES]
[PAPER SLAPS]
What is this?
This is a little list
I've been putting together.
The birthday gift needs
to make Bill feel like
you just get him intuitively
but if it's too bespoke,
you'll come off as a psycho stalker.
On the other hand,
if it's too generic,
then he'll think that
you're not that interested,
or worse, basic.
And, uh, if the date's
going really well,
make sure that you forget
something at Bill's place.
Ah, like what? My chastity?
No, something valuable,
like, um, your sunglasses.
And that way, you have
a reason to go back
and see him again.
Huh? Well, very clever.
Yeah. It's called the leave behind.
- It's a trope, but it works.
- Okay.
Ooh, does Bill have any friends
that you know about?
Maybe like a quirky
but non-threatening coworker?
Uh. Hi, psst, hi.
Hey, uh, do you happen to know Bill,
the-the-the-the manager?
I do indeed. Uh, why do you ask?
Actually, he asked me
on a little date.
So it's our, uh, it's our first date.
It's like a dinner.
It happens to be his birthday,
and, yeah, I guess I was
hoping that maybe you could,
I don't know, uh, steer me
in the right direction,
you know, like gifting wise.
Okay, I see. I see.
Well, you know, Bill is my boy,
and he did just get out
of a pretty bad breakup.
So, you know, before I go
and give you advice
on some romantic gift
should really find out if you,
uh, are actually worthy.
Uh, okay.
Which "Mission Impossible"
is the best?
[CHARLIE LAUGHS]
- Seriously?
- This is your mission,
should you choose to accept it.
This offer will self-destruct
in 10 seconds.
- It's also my lunch break.
- [WATCH BEEPS]
Okay. Uh, wow.
Okay, so, uh, I don't know,
I guess, uh, Tom Cruise,
he, uh, uh
- Okay, uh
- Time's up.
Alright, uh,
"Mission Impossible," uh, one.
Alright, alright, alright. Okay.
Has Bill told you about Betty?
Like I said, it's a first date,
so it's pretty casual.
We're not really doing,
uh, big talks about exes.
Oh, no, no, uh, uh,
Betty's his new motorcycle.
- Ah.
- Yeah, it's his baby.
So if you get him something
chopper related, he'll love it.
Okay. Oh, thank you. Okay.
Betty. Chopper. I was never here.
Excuse me. I-I'm in a big hurry.
Could you help me choose a blender?
Yes. Yes.
But first, let me show you something.
- You carry your own remote?
- Yeah, of course.
Now follow me right here.
You're gonna love this.
Now you see this right here?
[MOTORCYCLE REVS]
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
Wow.
Oh.
- [BILL CHUCKLES]
- Hi.
[BILL] Hi.
So, uh, in honor of your birth.
What?
Okay, a gift.
You didn't have to do that.
Open it. Open, open.
Okay. Alright.
[BELL JINGLES]
Is this a guardian bell?
[CHARLIE] Yeah, I did some, uh,
incredibly limited research in there.
Well, they told me that if
you hang this on your chopper,
and, uh, I guess the ring-a-ling,
it, uh, wards off these evil spirits
if you're on the open road, so
Yeah, that's exactly right.
Yeah? Thank God.
Damn, that's cool.
- Wow.
- Yo, I love this.
Cool. You really mean that?
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah, why would I
[CHUCKLES] Why would I lie?
Exactly.
Please, allow me to lead you
to the finest dinner spot in town.
- Okay.
- Okay?
- Okay.
- Alright.
Just in here.
[CHARLIE] In there?
- [BILL] Yeah.
- [CHARLIE] Okay.
Oh, wow.
[BILL] It's not too much, is it?
Ah, no, no.
I was, uh
I was kinda going
for sweetly romantic,
but now I'm worried I might
have tipped all the way over
into cornball cheese.
[CHARLIE] No, no, no, it's, uh
I genuinely think it's, uh
squarely in the sweetly
romantic sweet spot.
- Okay, good.
- Yes, I, uh, I like it.
Glad you like it. Um, good.
Uh, oh, uh, do you happen
to have a ladies room
that I could, uh
Yeah, of course. It's just,
uh, straight back to the left.
Alright. Uh, this is really nice.
- I'm excited. Okay, thanks.
- [BILL] Okay, well,
- I'm glad you like it.
- Okay.
[BILL] Don't get lost.
Alright.
[SIGHS]
The ol' classic leave behind.
Oh, boy, are you sure,
uh, old man SuperSave
won't be upset that
we're here after hours?
Oh, no, no, no. I run the place.
Besides, these cameras
aren't even recording.
Old boss, he taught me
a looping trick,
and it's kinda come
in clutch lately. [LAUGHS]
- I see.
- The truth is,
I just, uh, I got out
of a pretty serious
relationship recently.
- Okay.
- So yeah, I've just been living
out of my office for, like,
the past month or so,
just until I can find a new place.
Yeah, but if the cameras
aren't working, uh,
aren't you worried
there could be a break-in?
Oh, no, no, I push this thing once
and a assault squad of cops
shows up in, like, five minutes.
Ah, police state, reassuring.
- Crazy, right?
- Yes. Yeah.
- Yeah, it's pretty cool.
- Okay.
- [BELL TINKLING]
- [BILL LAUGHS]
I'm still geeking out
over this guardian bell.
It's like, it's just really,
really thoughtful. [LAUGHS]
[CHARLIE] Well, you should
thank your, uh, movie nerd buddy.
Yeah, he's the one that
alerted me to your whole, uh,
chopper fixation.
- Oh, Kendall, huh?
- Yeah.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, we've been
pretty tight since, like,
fourth grade, ever since
we got into a fist fight
about whether or not "Die
Hard" is a Christmas movie.
It is obviously
a Christmas movie, so
It's definitely
a Christmas movie, but he,
- he would claim
- Yeah.
that a true Christmas movie
must feature Santa.
Right, well, you got Bruce
Willis in the hat, so it's
Yes, but Kendall would say
it doesn't even count
because that's not the real Santa.
Oh, I'm sorry. Like, a real Santa?
- Real Santa?
- [BILL LAUGHS]
No, you, you preachin'
to the choir right here,
'cause I it's been
going on forever.
I mean, anyway, we-we kept at it
for, like, the next 20 years.
Mm.
Twenty years.
Actually had to let him go today.
Wait, you fired him?
Yeah.
[SCOFFS]
Geez. What was that like?
Uh, not great,
but maybe this'll light a fire
under his ass, you know?
I, uh, I just read
his latest movie script.
It's so good.
It's like his best one yet.
It's like a, a love letter
to all of the cool,
old heist movies that
we ever grew up watching.
- Mm.
- Kendall belongs in Hollywood.
He's just too scared to
actually go for it, you know?
But maybe this, maybe
this'll be the push he needs
to finally give it a try.
Here's to tough love.
- Tough love.
- [GLASSES CLINK]
[BILL CHUCKLES]
[CHARLIE] What about you?
Where do you belong?
- Right here.
- SuperSave?
Look, I know this,
this might sound corny,
but I like to think of
SuperSave as being this, uh,
this modern-day town square.
Mm.
'Cause people wanna gather. Right?
- People want rituals.
- Mm.
- Human connections.
- Mm.
It's just
- Basic needs?
- It's just basic needs.
Oh, I see.
It's like a human connection.
That's all it is.
Just
Right?
[BLUES MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
Uh, I'm so sorry.
There's, like, a
There's a creepy guy
standing over there.
- He's, uh, checking me out.
- [BILL] What?
[CHARLIE] Giving me the hairy eyeball.
- You see it too?
- [BILL LAUGHS]
Is he trying to join this party
I'm sorry, I sorry.
Can you, uh, get me
out of there, 'cause
- I am gonna get you out of here.
- I just don't like the way
You don't like people staring? Mm?
- No, I don't.
- No?
[BLUES MUSIC CONTINUES]
I've been thinking about,
like, maybe settling down,
getting one of these, uh,
normal lives I've heard about.
- [BILL] Oh, yeah?
- Just that, when I picture it
in my head, I can't really, uh,
see it, you know?
And maybe, uh, I'll be honest, I,
I'm beginning to suspect that, like,
maybe my normal is just
a little bit weird. [LAUGHS]
Oh, no, I think maybe you should
maybe you should stick
around here for a while.
- Mm.
- Maybe
our normal might be
weird enough for you?
Hmm.
- [GLASS THUDS]
- Well, maybe it is.
Yeah? I'd like that.
Okay. Maybe.
"It's a Wonderful Life."
Yeah, I'd agree, on a night
like tonight, it certainly is.
No, "It's a Wonderful Life,"
it's indisputably a Christmas movie.
- Oh.
- Nary a Santa in sight. Come on.
[BILL LAUGHS] You got
to take that up with Kendall.
- Yes. Yes, sir.
- Please.
Yes, I will.
[BILL LAUGHS]
No, it's a
this is a wonderful night, thank you.
Oh, crap.
- [CHARLIE] What?
- We open in, uh, a few hours.
- Ah, wow.
- Black Friday's coming up.
So [SIGHS]
busiest time of the year.
Oh, right. Ah.
I'd love to see you again.
Oh, really?
Yes, really.
Can I call you?
Yeah. Tandoor.
- That's where you'll be?
- Got the number? Yeah.
- I do.
- Alright.
[GENTLE ACOUSTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
From the first moment I met you,
your arrogance and conceit,
your selfish disdain
for the feelings of others,
made me realize
that you were
the last man in the world
I could ever be
prevailed upon to marry.
He said he would call on Monday.
- I don't know.
- [JENNY] It's Monday.
- Well, maybe he's busy.
- Why hasn't he called?
Oh, it's Cyber Monday, I'm told,
so maybe this is when he does
his discounted shopping
- and, uh
- I know what's happening.
This is the part of the story
where there's a mix-up
and it seems like
they won't end up together,
but ultimately it is
revealed to be the test
through which true love
will finally prevail.
[PHONE RINGS]
Tandoor. Uh-huh. What's the address?
SuperSave on Fourth and M.
Whoo, baby!
What would you like?
[CAR DOOR SLAMS]
Hey.
Hey, what's happening?
- Lunch. Thank you.
- Informative.
[REPORTER] A representative
from SuperSave told Channel 2
that nearly $400,000 was stolen.
The leading suspect,
store manager Bill Jackson.
I-I-I'm so sorry.
Uh, what did you say?
- [REPORTER SIGHS]
- Cut.
Hey. [LAUGHS]
Mind if I join you?
I was supposed
to meet Bill here today.
He's an acquaintance of mine, uh,
and they're saying
that he, uh, split town?
I'm not on the clock, you know?
Yeah, sorry about that. It's, uh
Bill's probably halfway
to Cancun by now.
Really? I, I
That doesn't sound like him.
I mean, not at all.
Bill loves this place. Yeah.
Why would he rob it?
Because money?
[BAG THUDS]
That's 50-50, just like we said.
That's an extra 500.
I got a thousand for the bike,
for selling it to the chop shop.
- [KENDALL] Thanks.
- Oh, man,
I'm Shit. I'm sorry about your boy.
Better him than
either one of us, right?
I-I got to know something.
You-you-you took care of the body?
Yeah, I told you.
How'd-how'd you do it?
Did you burn him in an incinerator?
Did, did you dissolve
his body in acid,
"Breaking Bad" style?
I-I-I got to know.
No, no, it was nothing like that.
I switched his body with a mannequin.
Yeah, I put the Santa suit
on him, man. [LAUGHS]
You what?
Yeah, like "Weekend at Bernie's."
Now that shit, that is
a motherfuckin' movie.
The cops are gonna find him.
Yeah, no shit, eventually.
But we'll both be long gone by then.
Besides, it's not like
either one of us has
a reason to ever go back there.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[GASPS] Oh, hey, Kendall, hey.
Have you heard from Bill?
Uh, no, no.
Are you, uh, are you looking for him?
Yeah, well, gosh, I, I
The cop said that he robbed the store
and then he, uh,
took off with the money.
But I mean, Bill, I mean,
he wouldn't rob this place.
- You know that, right?
- Well, look,
you know, Bill just
kicked me to the curb.
I mean, that shit still stings, so
No, Bill did not kick you to the curb.
All he did is he just
gave you a little, uh,
push out of the nest. [CHUCKLES]
Yeah, I think, I think
we're saying the same thing.
[CHARLIE] Yeah, Bill, man,
he's like your,
your biggest fan, you know.
You should hear him talk
about your script.
He really, really believes in you.
Yeah, it's like the only reason
he even fired you.
It was just tough love, man, yeah.
He wanted to make sure that, uh,
you know, you gave yourself a shot.
Oh, hey, um, Bill did fire you.
So, what are you even doing here?
Oh, I, uh, I left
something in my locker.
I'm just gonna clear everything out.
Alright, see ya. Yeah, okay.
Gosh. [SIGHS]
Creepy Santa? Is that you?
I'm sorry. Where the heck
are your clothes?
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
Can't be in here, bub.
Active crime scene.
Oh, uh, my bad.
I-I was just trying to get
something out of my locker.
[OFFICER] Let's go.
Okay.
[INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
[SOFT CHRISTMAS MUSIC
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHARLIE] [GASPS] Oh, my God!
[BILL THUDS]
[SHOPPERS GASPING, CHATTERING]
Kendall, what the hell's going on?
What's everyone screaming about?
Uh, I have no idea.
- Is that a real person?
- Oh, shit.
[CHARLIE GASPING]
[OFFICER] Did the
deceased mention any plans
to rob the store?
No, the deceased
did not mention any plan
to rob the store, okay?
Bill loved this place. So
I mean, you guys really
still think that he did this?
Our working theory is that Bill
and an unknown accomplice
pulled off the heist together.
Then, you know, whoa, differences.
Then the accomplice killed Bill,
took off with the whole amount.
[OFFICER] We know that
Mr. Jackson was staying here overnight.
He was the only one
with the safe combination,
and we have proof
that he was manipulating
the security cameras.
No, no, Bill was only staying here
'cause he'd recently had
a breakup, okay?
So
- Wait. Can I?
- What?
Okay, uh, is that a Polaroid
in front of the camera?
Yeah. Like we told you,
he was manipulating them.
Okay, I-I-I'm sorry, but that's
that is not how Bill did it.
Look, his previous manager
had taught him
how to loop the footage, right?
So, why would Bill suddenly use
some, uh, janky ass,
and frankly,
weirdly expensive Polaroid.
Maybe he was just
a "Mission Impossible" fan.
Wanted to pay tribute.
This, uh, Polaroid gag,
that's from "Mission
Impossible III," right?
Best film in the entire series.
[DOOR CLICKS SHUT]
[KEYS CLINK]
[SOFT, HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING]
[JUICE] Oh, finally.
I had this paused for over an
hour waiting for you to come home.
I especially wanted you
to see this part.
Have a seat.
♪
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- [REPORTER] The leading suspect,
store manager Bill Jackson.
A representative from
SuperSave told Channel 2
that nearly $400,000 was stolen.
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- Nearly 400,000
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- Nearly 400,000
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- Nearly $400,000 was stolen.
[REMOTE BEEPS]
400,000?
That's funny, because
when I counted it, it was
a little less than three.
But I never actually saw
what was in the safe, did I?
I trusted you,
and you fuckin' lied to me.
Give me that.
- [BAG THUDS]
- Where's the rest?
Where's the fucking money?
In my locker in, in the break room.
- What's the combo?
- Come on, bro.
[GUN CLICKS]
Four, six, one, three.
Shit ain't like it is
in the movies, is it?
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
[GUN CLICKING]
SuperSaver piece of shit.
- [GUN THUDS]
- Ah, fuck! Ow.
Whoa. Oh, oh, hey!
Ah, please, no.
[BLADE SLICES]
[JUICE GASPS, GAGS]
[BAT CLATTERS]
[JUICE GROANS]
[JUICE THUDS]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh, shit.
[OFFICER] The premises are clear,
and we're leaving the scene.
[MAN ON RADIO] Understood, 27.
We're clear and walking the perimeter.
Clearing the scene now,
returning to patrol.
[ZIPPER BUZZES]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[CHARLIE] You left
something in your locker, huh?
One, two, three, four. Hmm.
[LOCK CLICKS]
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
[SIGHS]
Huh? What, indeed?
Uh, giant skyscraper, uh,
Superman power arms, yeah.
Uh, classic original,
and, I don't know,
Philip Seymour Hoffman bad guy.
[LOCK CLICKS]
Oh, yes.
Man. Questionable order,
but I'll allow it.
[BAG RUSTLES]
Oh, fuck you. You son
of a bitch, come on.
[DOOR CREAKS]
[CHARLIE SIGHS]
Man, Bill believed in you,
like he really believed in you.
And then what do you do?
Y-y-you-you rob him.
You kill him. You put
his body on display.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Believe me, I am.
But I did not kill Bill.
No, you-you didn't, that's right.
- But I will kill you
- [GUN COCKS]
if you make me.
So drop the bag.
[BAG THUDS]
Put your hands up
and back away.
Okay, man, alright.
Just, if you didn't kill him, who did?
Look, none of that matters. Alright?
So what now? You just
you split town, you steal that cash,
and you pin this robbery on Bill?
And then what?
Everyone who cares about him
just thinks that
he was lying all along?
No one was supposed
to get hurt on this, alright?
Just, come on, let's just go. Come on.
[CHARLIE SIGHS]
Okay, so let me guess. So you
planned it all down
to the last detail,
you team up with some
motherfucker you think you can trust.
Night of the robbery, everything's
going exactly according to plan.
Suddenly, this guy turns out
to be a loose cannon
and then, boom,
everything goes to shit.
Then, you two turn on
each other 'cause of the cash.
- Is that about right?
- Wait, hold on a minute.
How do you know all that?
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe just 'cause it's the plot
of every fuckin'
heist movie ever made.
Well, this is the part
where I take the cash
and drive off into the sunset.
Oh, I see. Really?
Mm, I'm not sure
about that. [CLICKS TONGUE]
Don't push that.
Well, I-I actually,
I pushed it three minutes ago,
'cause this isn't some dumb,
fucking action movie.
[RAPID GUNFIRE]
Oh, shit. [BREATHES HEAVILY]
- [RAPID GUNFIRE]
- You were saying?
- [JUICE] Kendall!
- God, I stand corrected.
Where's my money?
- [RAPID GUNFIRE]
- The chick's got it.
- What?
- [REMOTE CLATTERS]
You fucking coward!
[GUNFIRE CONTINUES]
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[JUICE COUGHS]
[JUICE] Kendall, where's my money?
Kendall.
[JUICE COUGHS]
[TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
Kendall!
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- [GUNSHOTS]
[GASPS AND COUGHS]
- [REMOTE BEEPS]
- [CHARLIE] [ON TV] Hey.
- Game over, psycho.
- [RAPID GUNFIRE]
[GUN CLICKING]
- Fuck!
- [GUN THUDS]
[JUICE GASPING, GROANING]
- [JUICE GROANING]
- [BLOOD SQUISHES]
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
- [JUICE THUDS]
- [SWORD CLATTERS]
[FOOTSTEPS THUDDING]
[BRIGHT, AMBIENT MUSIC SWELLS]
[ALARMS WAILING]
- [SIRENS BLARE]
- [OFFICERS YELLING]
♪
[OFFICER] Hands above your head!
[OFFICERS YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
♪
sync & corrections awaqeded