Sausage Party: Foodtopia (2024) s02e07 Episode Script

1
-[explosion]
-[vibrant orchestral music]
Foodtopia ♪
-[tense music playing]
-[engines roaring]
[drumming]
[electric guitar strumming]
-[maniacal cackling]
-[muffled] Oh, God! Oh! Oh!
[suspenseful music playing]
I mean, a good amount of time has passed.
Maybe they've cooled off a bit?
I don't think so.
Judging by this,
they still want to kill us.
Goddamnit.
What is this world coming to?
There's food on food violence,
there's civil war.
Honestly, better that Brenda's not around
to see what's become of this place.
-[Barry strains]
-[Frank gasps]
[Frank]
What the fuck? Where is everyone?
[dramatic music playing]
[Jamie] Oof. Down to the scraps.
What kind of foods can we expect
to find in this town, Jack?
Do you think there are enough
cold cuts to make a decent charcuterie?
[Montague] I know this is a long shot,
but I've been craving a baked Alaska.
-[Jamie] Anyone in season?
-Hey, hey! Everyone, give Jack a break.
Can't you see this is a super
effed up situation for him?
He has unfinished business.
Just take what you want in town,
and leave the hot dogs for him.
I'll definitely leave the little one
that was up his butt.
[laughter]
-[horse whinnies]
-Huh?
[“Horses” by Tegan Marie playing]
[Jack laughs]
-[Jack] Whoo!
-[Jill] Whoo! Yeah!
-[brakes squeal]
-[yelps, groans]
[door opens]
[epic music playing]
-[hydraulic releases]
-[power up sounds]
[gasps]
-Hey, you Jack?
-Yeah. You're… You're…
Maverick. What'd you hear?
You hear that I'm reckless?
[laughs] That I'm dangerous?
-Huh.
-Well, that's right, human.
I am dangerous. And I'm going to work you
like you've never been worked before.
I'm going to take you
to the limit of your potential,
-and then I'm going to shatter it.
-[gasps]
Nah, I'm just messing with you. [laughs]
But we're going to have some fun up there!
-[hydraulic releases]
-[yelps]
[yelps]
[breathing heavily]
Dijon, Maverick? Really?
We need pilots with edge.
Maverick is elite, the best of the best.
His human, Sebastian, was weak,
and Maverick piloted him
to be one of our best warriors.
He's also the reason Sebastian
went mad and tried to run away.
Everyone knows Maverick's never been
the same since he lost his wingman.
[Maverick and Goose holler excitedly]
-Let's barrel roll these meat bags!
-My wingman! Let's do this!
[both cheer]
Let's fly!
Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
[“Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins plays]
[Grey Goose] I love you, Mav.
I love you, Goose.
We're going to do this forever.
[groans]
[slow motion gasp]
-[panicked gasps]
-[computer] Eject.
Eject! Eject!
-[computer] Eject. Eject.
-[Goose gasps] It's not working, Mav!
-It's not working!
-[computer] Eject.
-[gasps, grunts]
-[shattering]
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!
[dramatic music playing]
[voice echoing] Goose! Goose!
Goose, hang in there. Come on, man!
Come on, Goose. Stick with me,
pal, stick with me! Goose!
[exhales] All right, Jack.
Time to buzz the tower.
-[grunts]
-[Maverick] Let's do this!
-[yelps]
-[Maverick] Yee-haw!
[Jack grunting]
[computer] Double sciatica. Bone spurs.
Heart murmur. Rupturing spleen.
Depression. Multiple system failures.
Multiple system failures.
Health notifications off.
-[strains]
-Hey, I know he's a little unhinged,
but Maverick's your best chance of
catching Frank and getting your revenge.
You still want that, right?
[strains]
Oh, what difference does it make?
[grunts] I won't have any control over it.
-[back cracking]
-[Jack crying in pain]
[Maverick] You're a machine, Jack.
You're not human!
[Frank] Maybe they all
died from the lawlessness,
or they realized
they shouldn't have exiled us
and they all buried themselves
in a hole or something, or…
[chuckles] I don't know, man.
Those are pretty wild theories.
That's not what the soil's telling me.
Stop pretending
like you can talk to the soil.
[foods]
Heave! Heave!
Heave! Heave!
-[triumphant music playing]
-[foods] Heave! Heave!
-Look! They're working together!
-[foods] Heave! Heave!
-Yeah!
-Watch out!
[crowd cheers]
We did it, everyone! Remember this!
It will go down as a momentous
accomplishment in our history!
-Nothing can ruin it!
-[lone clapping]
[crowd murmurs]
So, hi, you're all looking fabulous.
Rutabaga, Sinead O'Potato, Julius,
hi, good to see you, you look well.
Melon Gibson, looking very calm and lucid.
I see the town really got its act
together after the, uh…
Exile? Yeah. You know, that's how we first
realized how well we all work together.
And it was super fun planning your
assassination. Isn't that right, gang?
-[crowd] Yeah!
-[Sinead] There was no leader.
All of us had a say.
We were all in on it. Pitching different
ways to kill you, it was beautiful.
Well, I'm glad I could inspire you,
indirectly, to do that.
Wait, so… wait. So, no leader?
Rather than duplicate our
blunders by decreeing a leader,
We chose to designate the spirit
of a food as our ethos.
The spirit of a food,
what kind of New Age bullshit is that?
-[crowd growls]
-Easy, easy, where are you taking us?
-[Melon] On your knees.
-[grunts]
Oh, no, I think they're going to
sacrifice us to their new spirit!
[gasps]
-[holy music playing]
-[Frank] Brenda…
[Rutabaga] She embodies equality,
bravery, compassion.
-And she was never a bossy dick about it.
-She brought out the best in us,
where you only brought out
the worst in us.
You made us so fucking angry.
I deserve that.
Everything you've accomplished here
in her memory, it's… it's amazing.
Yes, it is. I suppose
you've come back to ruin it.
Oh, no, of course not. We would never…
Actually, we have some pretty shitty news.
There's no way to soft pedal this.
There's a giant, impeccably trained army
of foods and humey kaijus
set to attack Foodtopia.
And they're hungry,
for all of you specifically.
Chances are none of you
will survive, unless…
You could soft pedal it
a little more than that.
[indistinct murmurs]
We don't believe you.
Nobody trust y'all's asses and you
shouldn't have even come back here.
Sorry to do this to you, Bar.
They're definitely
going to kill us this time.
No, killing you would be un-Brenda of us.
We show mercy now.
Every food deserves a second chance.
Or, in my case, unlimited chances.
[Frank and Barry scream, grunt]
Front to front.
Feels so much more humiliating this way.
What if they're telling the truth?
Let's put some extra carrot sticks
on the lookout.
We need to cover our asses.
Not to make everything
about me and my past trauma,
but it kind of felt like you were looking
right at me when you said that last part.
[both grunt]
[Frank]
How much time do you think we have?
-None.
-Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!
[tense music playing]
I have an idea.
That's convenient. You're tied up already.
Yup. You got us.
We totally surrender… Frank, now!
Ah!
-Another rock! Get another rock!
-[both gasp]
-Bonsoir, Barry.
-Dijon. You look incredible, as always.
I see that war becomes you.
[engine roars]
[grunting]
Come on! That's it.
Hustle, guys. On the hop!
All right, game point!
Hey, we are not going to lose this,
Jack, do you hear me?
Because if we do, I'm going to make
you eat that entire hill of red ants.
-Do I make myself clear?
-Crystal, Mav!
-[yelps]
-[Maverick] You fucked us!
Time to suck ants, Jack. Lips first!
[tense music playing]
[Frank grunts]
I'm sorry, fellas. You were right.
My movie didn't stop the war.
Yeah, we know.
Even though it got a standing ovation,
you know, I don't know if you
heard about that, it went tremendous,
but it didn't change anything!
You know, in retrospect,
I was almost certainly projecting a level
of importance and influence onto my art
that, frankly, just society
didn't have any interest in whatsoever.
You know what I mean?
I mean, you know what?
Art is bullshit,
when you get right…
Just trickery and manipulation,
smoke and mirrors, it's just narcissism!
Doesn't serve anybody
but the pretentious asshole artist.
Your heart was in the right
delusional place, Sammy.
-[door opens]
-[all gasp]
[whimpers]
[tense music playing]
[Sammy whimpers]
-[Barry grunts]
[Frank] Huh?
[snaps fingers]
Frank, can you read that for me?
-"Cat." Cat?
-[Trish] That's right. Cat.
You know why you're able to read that?
If I had to choose, I'd rather foods live
than know how to read.
-Nice one.
-Yeah, good response, Frank.
But reading is just the tip
of the proverbial iceberg lettuce,
isn't it, Frank?
Those missions keep our
town's foods alive and enlightened.
How do you not get that?
You trade lives for lives.
How do you not get that?
-[chuckles] Suck it, Trish!
-Good luck finding a comeback
-to that one, Trishie!
-When you started the revolution,
were you thinking of all the foods
that would be sacrificed? No.
You were thinking of the better
food world you'd create.
We are doing the same thing here.
It's for the greater good.
-Okay, Frank, say something back now.
-Well, to that, I would like to say…
Uh… You suck!
-No. Say something different. No. Redo.
-No, we lost that one.
Never meet your heroes.
[snaps fingers]
-[Dijon] My scouts are on the move.
-[Eggplant] Approaching the gate.
[heavy breathing]
[Lee]
There's no one here. Where's all the food?
They know we are coming.
They know we are coming!
[grunts]
-[yelling]
-Retreat!
[Sinead] May our heavy circles break
your dumb balls, you fuckers.
-[grunts]
-[human yelps]
Controls are fucked!
All they can do is crawl!
[screams] My knee has exploded!
Please, whoever's watching this,
if we die here, tell our brother Jamie…!
You said they were disorganized.
You said they were dipshits.
Uh… that's 'cause I lied.
And Foodtopia is more organized than ever.
That was just the first of many traps
they have waiting for your little army.
Boy, are there a lot of traps.
So many traps!
-He's lying about lying.
-Or aren't I?
Okay, we have ways of making them talk.
[snaps fingers]
Ooh, I hope it's bribery.
Do you guys think it'll be bribery?
-[gasping]
-Oh, no!
[suspenseful music playing]
[muffled] Jill!
Wait, what are you doing? Wait!
[all yelp, grunt]
[Trish]
If Foodtopia is as prepared as you say,
we can't just smash
through the front gate.
We'll need another way in, won't we?
Well, you're shit out of luck,
because the gate's the only way.
Is it? According to Mr. Bagel Jr.'s film,
you were sneaking in and out of town
-to visit Jack.
-[gasps]
Well, I had to add it in! That romance
was a big part of your life story, Frank.
Look, you know, it was all very tasteful,
unspoken looks, you know,
dancing in the rain under a spotlight,
lying naked in a treehouse near the fire.
I never knew how you snuck in and out.
So, you know, in the film,
you were able to just touch your heart
and then you appeared next to him.
-That is so stupid.
-Shut up, Barry!
What do you know about filmmaking?
Sammy may not know where
the secret entrance is,
but I sense the two of you do.
Come on, what's in the box?
What's in the box?
What's in the box?!
Jill has the upper hand!
[all yelping]
Wiener schnitzel.
I hated making it as a girl.
[childish voice]
But, Mama, I hate cooking schnitzel.
There's so many steps.
-[gasping]
-[normal] Well, now I'm glad there are.
-More to torture you with.
-[coughing]
[whimpering]
This is my wet hand, this is my dry hand.
The fuck does that mean?
[yelping]
[grunting]
Hey, Frank, where's the secret entrance?
Oh, it's on the intersection
of Fuck and You!
All right, that stung, slightly,
but I have a feeling
it will all come out in the egg wash.
Oh, no, eggs! [groans, yelps]
You like that, Frank?
How does it feel to taste your own kind?
-It's bad! I don't like it!
-Now you know how Jack felt.
-[Barry strains]
-Barry. Same question.
[inhales deeply]
[Barry gasps]
-[Frank] Barry! Barry!
-[Sammy] Oh, stop it, this is sick!
You're not going to dunk them again, are…?
Oh, wow, you're dunking them again!
-[grunts]
-[coughs]
Now, let's get a nice even coating.
[coughing]
-[Jill] There we are.
-[beeping]
Oh, the oil must be ready.
[gasping]
Oh, God. Oh, no…
[Frank] Oh, no! Oh, God. Oh, no.
[hyperventilates, screams]
[sizzles]
-Where's the secret entrance?
-Okay, okay, okay!
It's behind the dumpster
of the Big Kahuna Burger.
Another lie.
-[Frank] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
-Don't you hurt him!
Oh, God! Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
-[screams]
-[gasps]
-Frank! No!
-[Frank groans in pain] Ouch…
Is this what honor looks like to you?
Singeing the nubs
of two defenseless hot dogs?
Or are you just following orders?
[Frank]
Oh, it hurts more now… [groans]
[suspenseful music playing]
-[growls]
-[screams] Me again?! Why?! Come on!
Oh, that's permanent damage.
I'm going to need a beef graft.
-[Dijon and Jill grunt]
-[clattering]
-Pick up the baster, Dijon.
-No, I control her! You do not control me!
[Trish splutters]
Dijon! Wait!
I cannot speak for Frank,
or the pretentious bagel,
but Barry is a warrior who deserves
to die on the battlefield. [grunts]
We're doing this so our foods
don't die on the battlefield.
It is us versus them. When the time comes,
whose side will you choose?
[epic music playing]
[door opens]
That sounded intense.
What happened in there? Is Frank…?
-No.
-[gasps]
I only got halfway through prep,
but Dijon didn't let me finish the dish.
Jill, what the hell are we doing?
Torturing food, getting tortured by food.
What kind of lives are these?
We need to get out of here.
We can escape together.
-What? How?
-Look, I don't know that part yet.
But picture it, me and you,
living out in the woods.
No set bedtimes, jeans, and long hair.
And maybe, if we're lucky, one day
creating our own pack of humans.
We're meant to be free, Jill.
I saw wild horses on the way here today,
while us humans were locked
in a horse trailer. It's not right.
I'm sure if Winnie could talk,
she'd tell you she wanted to be free too.
Winnie had a good life. And so do I!
Dijon treats me well, she listens to me.
You're just all messed up
because your food was Frank the bully.
He might as well have
gotten his popular friends
to cut off your ponytail while
you were asleep at summer camp
and glue it onto your butt
to make a horsetail
-because you were so obsessed with horses!
-I never had a ponytail.
I need Dijon, okay?
Without her, I'm just pathetic, old Jill.
No one fears her. It's fine to pick
on her, and put hay in her food,
and make her drink lemonade
out of a trough,
'cause Jill's not a great warrior.
It's not the food in your pants
that makes you who you are, Jill.
You don't need Dijon,
and I don't need Frank.
He never cared about me.
Not the way you do.
We just need each other.
[sighs] Freedom isn't an option, Jack.
-[Lee screams] My knee has exploded!
-[door slams]
-[Curtis] Jack, ice pack.
-[Lee] Make that a double!
-[dramatic music playing]
-[gasps]
[Trish] Frank and Barry
aren't going to talk,
they're of no use to us.
Motion to kill the traitors swiftly
and feed them to Mr. Benson. All in favor?
-[foods] Aye!
-Unanimous.
[tense music playing]
[Sammy]
Are you guys okay?
Frank, you want me to blow
some cold air right on your nub?
Yes, please.
You showed a lot of grit back there,
Frank. Foodtopia will never find out.
But you really put your body
on the line for them.
Some good that did.
They created the Foodtopia
that Brenda always dreamed of.
All it took was me being gone.
And now that I'm back,
it's all going to be destroyed.
Oh, please, Frank,
don't beat yourself up anymore.
You're already pretty mutilated,
you know? It's redundant.
None of this would have happened
if I'd just listened to you.
I tried to carry the weight of Brenda's
legacy alone, but I wasn't alone.
I had someone with me the whole time
that was stronger, smarter.
-Jeez, what am I, chopped liver?
-I was just afraid to admit it,
because if you were the brawn
and the brains, then who would need me?
I would need you.
Always have and always will.
We're not two friends
who have been stuck together.
We're family. And families stick together.
FDFL?
Fancy Dogs for life.
And one fancy bagel.
[militaristic music playing]
[door opens]
-[unlocking sound]
-[gasps]
[suspenseful music playing]
-You came back to save us!
-You came back to save us first.
We heard you shrieking from
all the torture, and you didn't break.
Maybe you're not such
a rat bastard after all.
Plus, letting them kill you
felt very un-Brenda to us.
All rise! We need to move, now!
All right. I'll be your eyes.
Just do exactly as I say.
-[yelps] Hit it!
-[grunts]
-[all yelping]
-[groans]
[panting]
Straight! Straight! Straight!
-[horn blares]
-Straight! Straight! Straight! Straight!
Straight! Straight! You know,
it's pretty much straight the whole way.
They're taking our humans!
-[tense music playing]
-[growls, grunts]
[grunting]
I'll see you on the battlefield.
So fucking hot.
[foods cheering]
[triumphant music playing]