Shifting Gears (2025) s02e07 Episode Script

1
Mom, we need to pick up
bake sale supplies tomorrow.
I'm blocking off time on your calendar
between "nap in my
car" and "get pedicure."
I don't have a pedicure scheduled.
I know. I decided those
piggies need a spa day.
Ugh!
Work is so crazy, I have
no time for anything.
Last week, I got a wax
while having a virtual
gynecology appointment.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Boy, I wish my hearing was worse.
Oh, Dad, before I forget.
Are you dancing again?
It's from my tip jar.
I want to help out with the bills.
Not the water bill.
The way Carter showers,
I'll never be able to afford that.
You're giving me cash?
Wow. When was the last
time this ever happened?
Um Never, never, never happened.
Mom, I'm going for my driving lesson!
I'm not taking him on
a driving lesson today.
Busted.
Is that a driving instructor's car?
Temple of Vroom Driving School.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I hired Carter a driving instructor.
Okay, this isn't how I
wanted you to find out.
By that I mean, I hoped
you'd never find out.
We have to move again, don't we?
Why didn't you tell me this?
Well, your teaching style
wasn't exactly helping Carter.
You made him flip off a school bus.
The little girl started it.
Look, my dad taught me how to drive.
I taught you and your
brother how to drive.
Which was great for driving
ourselves to therapy.
Look, Pops, I need to pass this test.
Your teaching makes me a little nervous.
River's teaching style
is positive reinforcement.
River is a dude's name?
Or did you just make
that up to piss me off?
I didn't think that an emotional
support grandfather was a thing,
but I'm legally not allowed to ask.
I signed the waiver.
Do you want him here?
Yes.
[ROCK THEME PLAYING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Okay. Now, when you come to a stop sign,
give it a full three seconds.
Think of it as a moment of mindfulness.
Or, really, we're in California.
It's called the California stop.
You glide up to it, take a
look, and you keep movin'.
I'm sorry, Mr. Parker,
as an accredited driving instructor,
that is very dangerous advice.
As an accredited driving instructor,
let me ask you a question.
About five turns back, a BMW passed us.
What color was it?
- They'd never ask you that.
- Err!
Wrong answer. White BMW, chrome trim.
A good driver has to know everything.
It's called situational awareness.
Okay, now we're going
to turn right up here.
Just go nice and slow.
[MATT] No, no, no, no, no.
This actually goes into one lane.
Just turn and go down Sherman Way,
that way we can really beat some feet.
Do not listen to him, Carter.
He's not qualified to
give a lesson just because
he bought his first car
from Fred Flintstone.
Ooh! Oh no, he didn't!
Not qualified, huh?
How about taking a look
at my driver's license?
I can drive a motorcycle,
regular vehicle,
and I got a commercial license.
I'm like Vin Diesel with gorgeous hair.
He does get furious fast.
Well, it shows your license
expired two months ago.
Were you aware of that situation?
Ooh! Oh no, he double didn't!
♪♪
Damn it! The code's not working.
It's not supposed to open.
It's here to get your fingerprints
and hunt down your family.
- Do you need help?
- No! Ugh!
This is worse than when that Roomba
sucked up my birth control pills.
But that all worked out.
Mom, we need to get the
brownie stuff for the bake sale.
Ooh, I have stuff to make brownies.
But probably not the kind
you want to sell to kids.
Whoever sells the most gets
to be principal for a day.
This is it.
My slow but calculated
ascension to world domination.
May God have mercy on
Stanbridge Junior High.
- [ALARM BLARING]
- [GASPS]
Gabe, why are you just
standing there? Help me!
Alright, everybody, listen.
If po-po show up, my name is Tyrone.
[ALARM STOPS]
I don't want to point any fingers,
but I think somebody killed the robot.
Mom, can we go?
If I don't win the bake
sale, Morgan Spelletti
is gonna be principal
and make math optional.
Why don't we just hand
the country to China?
[SIGHS] I'm almost done, honey.
I just have to take their orders,
make the coffee, clean up, close down,
curl up in a fetal position
and have a little cry.
Maybe we should just
hand the country to China.
I could take Georgia.
Oh, you don't have to take her.
Please take her.
I got you. You have a
robot funeral to plan.
I didn't know him that
well, but I'll speak.
The delivery company is
going to charge me for this.
We could fix it.
[SIGHS] Thanks. They're still
pissed about when I got drunk
and rode one home from the bar.
Riley, that was me.
♪♪
[SIGHS]
[GROANS LOUDLY]
[GROANS LOUDLY] Oh, God.
I just want to go to
sleep and never wake up.
In a good way, not the dead way.
- What are you doing?
- Oh, I was practicing for my driver's test,
but now I'm watching videos
of people eating cinnamon.
This dude just threw up.
- I totally saw that.
- I know!
Hey. Get all you needed, Georgia?
Yup. Then we got froyo
and hit an escape room.
We were paired with a British
couple who seemed smart
but it was just their accents.
Turns out they have dumb people too.
Remember they kept saying,
[GASPS] "This is quite the predicament."
Wow, you guys fit in a lot.
Guess everyone had a fun day.
I ran out of gas at a traffic circle.
Ew, that sucks. I'm sorry.
Yeah, that sounds like
[BOTH] Quite the predicament.
Today was the best, Eve.
I wish we could hang out again tomorrow.
[BRITISH ACCENT] Ooh. Maybe you
could go out for fish and chips.
Ooh, it's getting late. Matt! DMV time.
- DMV?
- Yeah.
Grandpa's license
expired. River busted him.
Grandpa yelled. River
cried. Grandpa laughed.
Matt is handling this whole
thing surprisingly well, though.
[GROANS]
Smile for your picture, Pops.
[HISSES]
I renew my license
all the time, you know?
I just didn't get the
paperwork. And then
They always find me when
it's about jury duty.
Well, that's because
if the government's got
a list of 12 angry men, you're on it.
You know, I'll tell you what.
This wait time is even
impressive by DMV standards.
I don't think that woman was
pregnant when we got here.
Next!
How can I help you?
Who do I complain to about all of this?
He means he's here to renew this.
Oh, I understand. He just
needs a little extra help.
Hm.
Mr. Parker, you need to
retake your driving exam.
What?
[SHOUTING] You need to
retake your driving exam!
Why does he need to
retake his driver's exam?
Because that's what it says
right here on the computer.
What?
[SHOUTING] Because that's what it
says right here on the computer!
♪♪
Your grandma used this religiously.
Powdered sugar was her cocaine.
I thought that was Aunt Gwen.
No, Aunt Gwen's cocaine was cocaine.
Okay, that's 40 brownies.
How many more do we need?
I have to win the bake sale.
The divorce has been so hard on me.
Fine, but it's late.
I'll finish up here.
You go to bed.
Thanks so much for doing this.
Especially because we're gonna
crush Morgan Spelletti's soul.
It's all gonna be because of you. Night.
Uh, 200 more.
Where's Aunt Gwen's booger
sugar when you need it?
♪♪
[SMOKE ALARM BEEPING]
Ah!
Riley! Are you all right?
What are you cooking? Smoke?
- [BEEPING CONTINUES]
- I'll shut it off.
- My brownies. No!
- [BEEPING STOPS]
I'm never gonna be
principal for the day.
Goodbye, Harvard. Hello, Arizona State.
Ugh!
I'll fix this, okay.
Oh, just not right
now because it's 5 a.m.
and I have to go to work.
Oh. Brownie jerky.
Oh, my God. Fire, fire!
Brownies!
The company says if
they don't get the robot
back by tomorrow,
they're gonna charge me.
The credit card is gonna get
declined, so joke's on them.
- But please tell me you fixed it.
- [GABE] Fixed it?
[SCOFFS] At Parker Customs
and Restorations, we don't fix.
We pimp.
Hey, chill, don't bump the table ♪
♪♪
Hey, hey, what's this
thing doing in the shop?
He's teaching Gabe how to do the Dougie.
This thing can drive, but I can't?
Guys, you are wasting valuable time.
Can I see the dance again?
Hey, chill, don't bump the table ♪
- What'd you say? ♪
- Don't bump the table ♪
- Hey, chill ♪
- What? ♪
Don't bump the table ♪
- Riley.
- Eve.
What are you doing here?
In an apron? Oh, God. Are
you and my dad role-playing?
Because my mental health
can't handle that right now.
Your dad and role-playing.
Can you imagine?
[IN DEEP VOICE] "I'm Mitch
McConnell, and I'm a sexy turtle."
Georgia texted about brownie-gate,
so I thought I'd come help.
She texted you? That's That's great.
I'm so glad you have
the kind of relationship
where you text her
and she texts you back.
It's really It's nothing, really.
It's just about the
boy in her math class
or how to use the bedazzler.
She's making Georgia 2028 hats.
Oh!
That's so fun.
"Eh, we're so close. We're
working on merch together."
Oh, wow, you made all
the brownies. More fun!
I had some time, and I
know you've been so busy,
so I thought I'd take
something off your plate
and put something on your plate.
Little plate humor.
Eve. What do you think of
this outfit for dictator
Principal for the day?
I love it. The blazer says intimidating,
but the sneakers say approachable.
You're right. I should change my shoes.
Hey, Mom.
Oh, yeah. Hey, I'm here too.
Why don't you go spend
some time with Georgia?
I got the brownies.
Um, what are you doing?
I'm just finishing them off.
That was my mom's sifter.
You can't just use it.
Oh, okay. I'm sorry.
"Oh, I'm Eve, I can do everything."
I was just trying to help.
Yeah, well, you're not!
Spending all this time
with my daughter making hats,
doing British accents, sifting
Riley, I'm sorry.
No, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.
What about these?
Do these shoes say, "Bow, peasants"?
Those are the looks
of fear I'm going for.
So, Judy, uh, anybody get a
perfect score on this test, or
Let me rephrase that.
How many other people
get a perfect score?
Hey, take a left here.
- You got it.
- Yeah.
- Hm.
- Ah.
I see you're smiling over there.
So, a good driver notices everything,
and a great driver
can make people smile.
The only thing that guy's
noticing is what's on his phone.
Yeah, he's probably Googling,
"How do I drive this thing?"
right in the middle of traffic.
So you agree? People? Not so much.
Ugh! Do this job for 21 years,
you'll pray for the apocalypse.
[MATT CHUCKLES]
Oh, here is great.
- Oh, good, good. There we go.
- Oh.
- Matt, I gotta say
- Mm-hmm.
I really enjoyed our time together.
Time flies when you're
making fun of other people.
You're delightful.
[CHUCKLING] Anyway
you failed.
[SCOFFS, CHUCKLES]
- I-I failed, really?
- Yeah.
You rolled through three stop signs.
You were speeding, and you
flipped off a crossing guard.
Pfft! We have beef.
You know, I've been
driving my whole life.
I've never even had an accident.
I get it, you're upset.
You know, the same thing
happened to my grandmother.
I failed her twice.
I'm sorry.
This is, like, the worst day of my life.
And I'm a widower.
You got screwed. You're
a great driver, like me.
- Stop sign!
- Oh!
- Wow.
- Sorry.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi,
- three Mississippi and
- Kill me.
[SIGHS] You know, it's weird, isn't it?
I used to need you to drive me
everywhere, and now you need me.
Real Lion King moment. Circle of life.
I'm now the grandparent
sitting in the wife's seat.
- It's not that bad. I mean Stop sign!
- Oh!
[EXHALES]
One Mississippi.
- [BOTH] Two Mississippi.
- Three Mississip
Pops?
Pops, where are you going?
They're gonna call in a Silver Alert.
♪♪
Hey! Peace offering.
Nice bottle of wine.
Oh.
It's open.
[CLEARS THROAT] I had a really bad day.
Thank you. But you don't have
to apologize for anything.
Uh, no.
I was tired, irrational,
and honestly jealous
because you and Georgia
were having so much fun.
I get it.
My son barely spoke to
me when he was a teenager.
I set up a gaming profile
just so I could hear his voice.
And when my avatar
asked him how school was,
he threw a grenade at me.
It gets better.
Oh. Does it?
It feels like everything
is getting harder.
I love running my own business,
but I feel like life was so much easier
when I didn't care about my job.
I should have fired you a long time ago.
Don't feel guilty about
finding your passion.
You're a great mom.
Ugh! I just feel so overwhelmed.
That's why I got all weird when
I saw you with my mom's sifter.
It just reminded me that
she could do everything,
and you can do everything,
and I can barely do anything.
You know, when I was first
opening this place, I was alone
and I felt like I was drowning.
I barely had any time to see my son,
let alone shower, or change
my underwear, or meet a guy.
Maybe that third one is
related to the first two.
But I had to learn to lean
on the people around me.
You don't have to do this on your own.
Asking for help does not
mean you're a failure.
Thank you. God knows
where I got that idea.
Maybe from my dad saying, "Asking
for help means you're a failure."
He said that to me in bed last night.
[COUGHS, SPITS OUT WINE]
What? I didn't want to get
up to turn off the light.
Oh.
Thank God, because otherwise blech!
Oh, you know what? I'm
gonna take this to go.
It's been a really bad day.
♪♪♪
Oh, hey. How did the bake sale go?
You're looking at your new principal.
Suck it, Morgan Spelletti, and
your dry-ass cinnamon rolls.
Hey, that's out of line.
Morgan sold the dry-ass cupcakes.
Taylor had the dry-ass cinnamon rolls.
- Where's Grandpa?
- Mm-mm-mm.
He got out of the car in the
middle of me driving us home.
The streets have him now.
Huh, his phone's off.
We were just with Eve.
The shop is closed.
He'd better not be
driving without a license.
[SIGHS] I should have bought more wine.
On a long and lonesome highway ♪
East of Omaha ♪
You can listen to the engine ♪
Okay. Engine isn't running, so
it's not worst-case scenario.
Is he eating in the Impala?
He wouldn't even let us drink water
when we were stranded on the 405.
Your thoughts will soon be wanderin' ♪
The way they always do
when you're riding ♪
What's going on, buddy?
Oh, God.
You want me to get the
teeny-tiny car vacuum?
Nah. It's okay.
I'm just getting used to the
thought of not driving again.
It's like Seger says, I
don't feel much like riding.
I just wish the trip was through.
I'm sorry you failed
your driving test, Dad,
but you'll pass next time.
Maybe I won't. My dad didn't.
He lost his license, couldn't work,
couldn't do anything for
himself except eat pudding.
But look at you, eating chips.
No.
Intervention!
Sorry if I upset you, Pops.
Nah, that's just the circle of life.
On my way to Pudding Town.
Seriously? Some instructor
fails you one time and
you're giving up on life?
Not giving up on life. You
just can't beat time, kid.
I think this administration
is getting rid of
daylight savings, so
we're getting close.
Come on, Dad. You're a Parker.
When they took Grandpa's license,
he drove for another ten years.
Sure. The last two were on his Rascal,
but he didn't know the difference.
Yeah, that's because I put
a bigger battery in
there and new motors.
That guy was able to haul
ass through the hallways
of that old age home.
It was really funny.
That's where I'm going to end up.
We're not gonna put you in a home, Pops.
Not because we don't want to,
because we can't afford it.
Bet we could if we sold this car.
Over my dead body.
Well, then we'd definitely sell it.
As long as you don't die in
it and decrease the value.
I'm gonna die in this car
right now just to spite you.
You're sounding meaner,
does that mean you're better?
[BAG RUSTLES]
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't eat in this car, you little dweeb.
And he's back.
Thanks for fixing it.
Just so you know, I'm not paying
for any of the parts, or labor,
or the Western-themed
photo shoot you did with it.
No, that was Gabe's idea.
I just was happy to have another
reason to wear my leather chaps.
Goodbye, Doctor Funky.
You named him?
Oh, no. His moves named him.
Here I am ♪
[CRASHING]
Doctor Funky!
Oh no.
Did I hit something?
I've got to get my license back.