Smiling Friends (2020) s02e07 Episode Script
The Magical Red Jewel AKA Tyler Gets Fired
1
At ease, men.
I've got some good news
and some bad news!
The bad news is
I have to let one of you go
Tyler.
You're fired.
What?! Huh?!
You fire Tyler, you fire me too!
It's fine, Charlie.
I-I love you, brother.
Let's grab some drinks
after work man,
I love you, I'll text you.
And the GOOD news
I'm going to Spamtopia
to buy a RARE Magical Jewel
that I found on the internet!
That rocks, dude.
What NOT rocks is the guy
selling it speaks Spamish
and I don't speak a lick
of that whacky language!
Did you say Spanish?
No, no.
Spa-M-ish. With an M.
- Different language.
- Oh, okay.
Yeah, I know. I thought
he said Spanish too.
Oh, I speak a little Spamish!
Oh great!
You can be my little
translator, Pim!
Lets gooo!
What?
Alright guys,
I'm gonna need you
to look after my
18 year old son Jason for me
until I get back.
He's super low maintenance
but if he needs something,
he'll let ya knooooow!
Is it supposed to be doing that?
Yeah, it's like
his whole schtick.
Alright.
Like the Boss said, man.
I'm sure if he needs something
he'll let us know.
You know it's weird,
we don't really hang out
one on one much do we.
Yeah, yeah it's definitely
been a while.
I don't know if you remember
this or not but,
the last time
we hung out like
you and I,
you actually sucked on my nose.
So.
What?
I don't remember doing that.
-Yeah, you, yeah--
-Sucking your nose?
Yup, yeah you absolutely did.
It was the day with all the
Desmond and the bliblie stuff.
Like, it was pretty recently,
it wasn't that long
ago but
yeah, you suc-- you
went for my nose.
You got excited
and you sucked on it.
And um, you got it.
-And I wasn't--
-I-
I just want you to know that
I wasn't cool with that at all.
I-- Sure, I-I honestly don't
remember doing that but--
It was recent.
Well, yeah, if I did, I'm sorry,
I just don't remember
doing that but
it sounded like
it really bothered you.
It did-It did bother me
but hey, dude, look.
That's why I'm
bringing it up now,
like just so we can hash it out
like its so we can,
we can hang out more.
-You know what I mean?
-Sure, yeah, I mean.
I just, I just don't remember.
Yeah, well it happened.
What happened?
I don't, I don't know
So Pim,
how'd you learn an obscure
language like Spamish anyway?
Oh I had a penpal from Spamtopia
named Oscar when I was a kid!
I've never actually
conversed with someone
from Spamtopia in person though.
Yeah, the only thing
I know about these guys
is that they're super
strict about some silly rules.
Seems like a pretty
primitive culture to me.
Aw! That was nice!
Why cant we look anyone
in the eyes though?
I don't know.
But I don't wanna
to be here long.
There's gotta be like an Epi-pen
or something in here!
What is this?
“My Manifesto, by ‘The Boss' ”.
Charlie, there's nothing
we can do.
No! Allan it's alright.
I-I learned a little bit of CPR
from the Mr. Frog CPR special.
Charlie, it's not working, stop.
He's almost there.
Yeah, alright.
Uh, yeah. He's dead.
Yeah. I already told you that.
Oh, this place looks fun!
Stay focused, Pim.
We're just here to meet
a guy named Mr. Jester
and buy the magical red jewel.
Let's make this quick.
How do we know
which one's Mr. Jester?
He's probably the guy over
there with the giant jester hat.
Alright Pim, just remember
the creepy song.
Don't look him in the eyes.
I do the talking,
you do the translating.
A'ight?
Okay.
Shouldn't be too hard.
Hello, Mr. Jester.
Pleased to finally
meet you in person.
D'yo--what's your, um,
what kind of lagers
do you have?
Is she-is she gonna come back?
I wanted a water.
Uh, Mr. Jester is saying
he has the magical red jewel
and he's asking
if we have the money.
Yerp.
Pim, what did he say?
I don't know, sorry.
Pim, tell him
to bring out the jewel.
DID YOU JUST LOOK INTO MY EYE?!
Yes.
That was bad.
Alright that looks
pretty good.
I-I can't tell the difference.
That looks nothing
like the other thing,
the Boss will
never believe this.
C'mon, don't be so negative.
Alright Glep,
this is very important.
The Boss used to
breastfeed his son every day,
so all you gotta do is that
for the rest of your life-
Great idea, Charlie.
At least I'm trying to
think of stuff man!
Well, maybe if
you weren't talking
my damn ear off,
we would have noticed
something was wrong
with him in the first place.
Whoa, whoa! This is
not my fault, dude!
You were that was on the phone
the whole time
and you were not paying
attention at any point.
Fuck you!
I was checking work emails,
you yellow son of a bitch.
You killed the baby, Allan.
He's not a baby!
He's 18, and YOU killed him!
No, YOU killed him!
You killed him!
-You killed the baby!
-You killed the baby!
No,
you killed the baby!
You killed the baby, Allan!
For the crime of looking
in my eye,
I sentence you to
DEATH!
AAAGHHHHHHH!!!!!
Mr Boss. If we're gonna die,
I just wanna say
I'm so sorry
for looking at the eye,
I couldn't help it!
Pim,
Calm down.
I have a solution.
Go on, take it, Pim.
What is it?
Cyanide.
It's our only way out.
Take the GOD DAMN pill, Pim!
For the crime of looking
in my eye, I--
Wait! Before you kill us,
can we at least speak
to the leader of this
wonderful country?!
Okay.
Okay. I tried.
Eek!
Wait
what did you just say?
A Spamish prayer!
But that's impossible.
That's MY prayer I invented
and I've only ever
taught that to
Wait
Pim?!
Wait.
You're my old pen pal?
Pim!
Oh, I never thought
I'd see you in the flesh!
Oh! Me neither!
I can't believe it's you, Oscar!
Your letters got me through
the hardest years of my life!
When I hated my eye the MOST!
Oh Oscar, there's nothing wrong
with your eye!
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Coming from someone
with strange eyes too,
you should learn
to LOVE yourself!
You're right.
You do have a funny eye.
For making me feel better
about my eye,
you and your friend
can have my magical
red jewel as a gift!
Thank you.
It's even more beautiful
in person.
That's the jewel we risked
our lives for?
Yep. It was totally worth it.
I learnt today that
all cultures are equal
and there's no such thing
as a bad culture.
Thank you for showing me
the silliness of my ways, Pim.
I FORMALLY DECLARE an end
to the eye rule.
And ALL RULES FOR THAT MATTER!
NO MORE RULES!!!
We should probably go, Mr Boss.
Yeah okay no,
let's get out of here.
Goodbye! Goodbye!
No more rules in Spamtopia!
La, la, laaa!
Go! Go, go, go.
Drive. Go faster.
-DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE!
-I am!
I'm going as fast as I can!
What a crazyyy day, huh Pim?
Yeah, that was a fun
Boss and Pim adventure, huh!
Haha, oooo!
Ooo, aaaa, haha!
Oh hey guys,
where's my beautiful boy, Jason?
Uh, Mr. Boss.
I-I don't know how to
tell you this, but
after you left,
your son-um
I can't do it.
I-I can't do it.
I'm gonna puke.
I can't do it.
He died, Mr. Boss.
What?!
Oh my God, no!
No, no, no
Oh, wait.
Haha, I told you this magical
red jewel was worth it!
Wow yeah, I guess it was!
Oh my god, thank god.
-That was scary.
-Yeah we didn't kill the baby.
-We didn't kill the baby.
-We didn't kill the baby.
Bea-ti-ful wowww!
That's amazing haha!
Wee, hellooo Jason!
By the way, Mr. Boss,
before I forget, um,
I-I found these documents
in your desk
called ‘My Manifesto'
and I'm just,
I read a little bit
and I'm just wondering
what, why would you--
What is that?
Why would you
write something that?
Sorry I can't hear you
over the dust.
The dust is making it
hard for me to hear you.
Your manifesto!
I wanted to talk to you
about your manifest--
No really,
I'm not kidding.
Jason's really releasing
too much dust.
My eyes are starting to burn!
I can't see, I can't see--
Don't, don't breath it in!
Don't fucking breath it in!
Don't fucking breath it in!
Look, man. I really think
I could get the Boss
to rehire you.
Yeah, fuck that noise man.
I-I'm just gonna
keep making my music.
Respect man, respect.
At ease, men.
I've got some good news
and some bad news!
The bad news is
I have to let one of you go
Tyler.
You're fired.
What?! Huh?!
You fire Tyler, you fire me too!
It's fine, Charlie.
I-I love you, brother.
Let's grab some drinks
after work man,
I love you, I'll text you.
And the GOOD news
I'm going to Spamtopia
to buy a RARE Magical Jewel
that I found on the internet!
That rocks, dude.
What NOT rocks is the guy
selling it speaks Spamish
and I don't speak a lick
of that whacky language!
Did you say Spanish?
No, no.
Spa-M-ish. With an M.
- Different language.
- Oh, okay.
Yeah, I know. I thought
he said Spanish too.
Oh, I speak a little Spamish!
Oh great!
You can be my little
translator, Pim!
Lets gooo!
What?
Alright guys,
I'm gonna need you
to look after my
18 year old son Jason for me
until I get back.
He's super low maintenance
but if he needs something,
he'll let ya knooooow!
Is it supposed to be doing that?
Yeah, it's like
his whole schtick.
Alright.
Like the Boss said, man.
I'm sure if he needs something
he'll let us know.
You know it's weird,
we don't really hang out
one on one much do we.
Yeah, yeah it's definitely
been a while.
I don't know if you remember
this or not but,
the last time
we hung out like
you and I,
you actually sucked on my nose.
So.
What?
I don't remember doing that.
-Yeah, you, yeah--
-Sucking your nose?
Yup, yeah you absolutely did.
It was the day with all the
Desmond and the bliblie stuff.
Like, it was pretty recently,
it wasn't that long
ago but
yeah, you suc-- you
went for my nose.
You got excited
and you sucked on it.
And um, you got it.
-And I wasn't--
-I-
I just want you to know that
I wasn't cool with that at all.
I-- Sure, I-I honestly don't
remember doing that but--
It was recent.
Well, yeah, if I did, I'm sorry,
I just don't remember
doing that but
it sounded like
it really bothered you.
It did-It did bother me
but hey, dude, look.
That's why I'm
bringing it up now,
like just so we can hash it out
like its so we can,
we can hang out more.
-You know what I mean?
-Sure, yeah, I mean.
I just, I just don't remember.
Yeah, well it happened.
What happened?
I don't, I don't know
So Pim,
how'd you learn an obscure
language like Spamish anyway?
Oh I had a penpal from Spamtopia
named Oscar when I was a kid!
I've never actually
conversed with someone
from Spamtopia in person though.
Yeah, the only thing
I know about these guys
is that they're super
strict about some silly rules.
Seems like a pretty
primitive culture to me.
Aw! That was nice!
Why cant we look anyone
in the eyes though?
I don't know.
But I don't wanna
to be here long.
There's gotta be like an Epi-pen
or something in here!
What is this?
“My Manifesto, by ‘The Boss' ”.
Charlie, there's nothing
we can do.
No! Allan it's alright.
I-I learned a little bit of CPR
from the Mr. Frog CPR special.
Charlie, it's not working, stop.
He's almost there.
Yeah, alright.
Uh, yeah. He's dead.
Yeah. I already told you that.
Oh, this place looks fun!
Stay focused, Pim.
We're just here to meet
a guy named Mr. Jester
and buy the magical red jewel.
Let's make this quick.
How do we know
which one's Mr. Jester?
He's probably the guy over
there with the giant jester hat.
Alright Pim, just remember
the creepy song.
Don't look him in the eyes.
I do the talking,
you do the translating.
A'ight?
Okay.
Shouldn't be too hard.
Hello, Mr. Jester.
Pleased to finally
meet you in person.
D'yo--what's your, um,
what kind of lagers
do you have?
Is she-is she gonna come back?
I wanted a water.
Uh, Mr. Jester is saying
he has the magical red jewel
and he's asking
if we have the money.
Yerp.
Pim, what did he say?
I don't know, sorry.
Pim, tell him
to bring out the jewel.
DID YOU JUST LOOK INTO MY EYE?!
Yes.
That was bad.
Alright that looks
pretty good.
I-I can't tell the difference.
That looks nothing
like the other thing,
the Boss will
never believe this.
C'mon, don't be so negative.
Alright Glep,
this is very important.
The Boss used to
breastfeed his son every day,
so all you gotta do is that
for the rest of your life-
Great idea, Charlie.
At least I'm trying to
think of stuff man!
Well, maybe if
you weren't talking
my damn ear off,
we would have noticed
something was wrong
with him in the first place.
Whoa, whoa! This is
not my fault, dude!
You were that was on the phone
the whole time
and you were not paying
attention at any point.
Fuck you!
I was checking work emails,
you yellow son of a bitch.
You killed the baby, Allan.
He's not a baby!
He's 18, and YOU killed him!
No, YOU killed him!
You killed him!
-You killed the baby!
-You killed the baby!
No,
you killed the baby!
You killed the baby, Allan!
For the crime of looking
in my eye,
I sentence you to
DEATH!
AAAGHHHHHHH!!!!!
Mr Boss. If we're gonna die,
I just wanna say
I'm so sorry
for looking at the eye,
I couldn't help it!
Pim,
Calm down.
I have a solution.
Go on, take it, Pim.
What is it?
Cyanide.
It's our only way out.
Take the GOD DAMN pill, Pim!
For the crime of looking
in my eye, I--
Wait! Before you kill us,
can we at least speak
to the leader of this
wonderful country?!
Okay.
Okay. I tried.
Eek!
Wait
what did you just say?
A Spamish prayer!
But that's impossible.
That's MY prayer I invented
and I've only ever
taught that to
Wait
Pim?!
Wait.
You're my old pen pal?
Pim!
Oh, I never thought
I'd see you in the flesh!
Oh! Me neither!
I can't believe it's you, Oscar!
Your letters got me through
the hardest years of my life!
When I hated my eye the MOST!
Oh Oscar, there's nothing wrong
with your eye!
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Coming from someone
with strange eyes too,
you should learn
to LOVE yourself!
You're right.
You do have a funny eye.
For making me feel better
about my eye,
you and your friend
can have my magical
red jewel as a gift!
Thank you.
It's even more beautiful
in person.
That's the jewel we risked
our lives for?
Yep. It was totally worth it.
I learnt today that
all cultures are equal
and there's no such thing
as a bad culture.
Thank you for showing me
the silliness of my ways, Pim.
I FORMALLY DECLARE an end
to the eye rule.
And ALL RULES FOR THAT MATTER!
NO MORE RULES!!!
We should probably go, Mr Boss.
Yeah okay no,
let's get out of here.
Goodbye! Goodbye!
No more rules in Spamtopia!
La, la, laaa!
Go! Go, go, go.
Drive. Go faster.
-DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE!
-I am!
I'm going as fast as I can!
What a crazyyy day, huh Pim?
Yeah, that was a fun
Boss and Pim adventure, huh!
Haha, oooo!
Ooo, aaaa, haha!
Oh hey guys,
where's my beautiful boy, Jason?
Uh, Mr. Boss.
I-I don't know how to
tell you this, but
after you left,
your son-um
I can't do it.
I-I can't do it.
I'm gonna puke.
I can't do it.
He died, Mr. Boss.
What?!
Oh my God, no!
No, no, no
Oh, wait.
Haha, I told you this magical
red jewel was worth it!
Wow yeah, I guess it was!
Oh my god, thank god.
-That was scary.
-Yeah we didn't kill the baby.
-We didn't kill the baby.
-We didn't kill the baby.
Bea-ti-ful wowww!
That's amazing haha!
Wee, hellooo Jason!
By the way, Mr. Boss,
before I forget, um,
I-I found these documents
in your desk
called ‘My Manifesto'
and I'm just,
I read a little bit
and I'm just wondering
what, why would you--
What is that?
Why would you
write something that?
Sorry I can't hear you
over the dust.
The dust is making it
hard for me to hear you.
Your manifesto!
I wanted to talk to you
about your manifest--
No really,
I'm not kidding.
Jason's really releasing
too much dust.
My eyes are starting to burn!
I can't see, I can't see--
Don't, don't breath it in!
Don't fucking breath it in!
Don't fucking breath it in!
Look, man. I really think
I could get the Boss
to rehire you.
Yeah, fuck that noise man.
I-I'm just gonna
keep making my music.
Respect man, respect.