Euphoria (2019) s02e08 Episode Script
All My Life, My Heart Has Yearned for a Thing I Cannot Name
1
All right, y'all, I'm finna head out.
Wait, you're, uh, you're leavin'?
Yeah, I'm about to leave right now.
Is-is everything good?
Yeah, before you go, bro,
I, I really gotta talk
to you about somethin'.
Like what, man?
Everything.
The fuck is you talkin' 'bout, bruh?
Bro
The fuckin' cops found Mouse's body.
Sorry.
Did you hear what I said?
Ch-ch-ch
I thought you told me that
Laurie killed Mouse, right?
- Laurie?
- Wha
I never said that.
What are you talkin' about?
Yeah, you know, Laurie,
the drug dealer that lives in
the apartment complex off Kemper.
Yeah, you were the one that
told me she killed Mouse.
I never said that.
- Yes, you did.
- What are you talking about?
- Are you high?
- You know that Laurie and those
fucking people, they scare me.
Why are you trying to protect them?
I'm not fuckin' protecting anyone.
What the fuck is this?
- So, you're working for Laurie?
- Hey, no!
So how about you just shut the fuck up!
Okay, then why are you trying to
cover up a murder that she committed?
All right, now.
Think it's time for you to
get outta here, big fella.
Bro we gotta figure out
what the fuck we're gonna say.
Okay, this is becoming a fucking issue.
- No!
- Wait, Ash. No!
Do you ever think about the future?
- Yeah, all the time.
- Really?
Yeah.
Like you have a plan?
I mean, I don't, I don't
got, like, a plan-plan,
but I be thinking about
living on a farm, you know?
I don't really see you as a farmer.
Yeah, fuck it.
Get some horses, cows,
pigs, chickens, goats.
Have a little family.
Like some "Little House on the
Prairie"-type shit. You know?
I don't know if I know that show.
You never heard of
"Little House on the Prairie"?
Okay, this might
sound kind of crazy but,
my plan is to have,
like, three kids at 30.
Like, each one a year and a half apart.
So from 30 to 58, I can focus on,
you know, being a good mom and
raising my kids, et cetera, et cetera.
And then, drop the last
one off at college at 58.
Which will give me, like, 32 years
to focus on me and live my life
and take my time with writing.
I mean, you really got this
shit all figured out, huh?
Yeah.
It's kind of crazy, right?
I mean
they got, they got
three kids in that show.
There's no need to forget your manners.
Just because we're hundreds
of miles from civilized folk.
If you lived in a place like this,
do you think you'd have a gun?
Hell yeah, I'd own a gun.
I hate guns.
Nobody's ever got shot at
and thought to they-self,
"Whoa! Thank goodness we didn't
have a gun to shoot back." You know?
Yeah, but then
what are the police for?
Fucked if I know. Shit.
Wait, are you on Instagram or Twitter?
Hell no.
- Really? Why?
- Oh yeah.
Well, why would I want anybody
knowin' what I'm thinkin' or feelin'?
I don't know. You can connect
with people who have similar interests.
Mmm. I just feel like people
be sharin' way too much on there.
- Online?
- Yeah.
They be ruinin' the mystery, you know?
Like, say if I like a girl,
I wanna find out what she's
about on my own, you know?
I don't wanna google the scraps.
I wanna, I wanna peel back the layers.
Yeah, but, like, why would you wanna
waste time getting to know someone
if you don't have anything
in common with them?
I don't know. That's what I like
about you the most, though, like
we don't really have nothin' in common.
That's not true. We both
have the same sense of humor,
and are empathic and curious.
And wanna have, like, kids.
Those aren't interests,
you know, those are
real character traits.
It's That's the important
shit that, that
people don't post online.
Yeah, I never thought
about it that way.
Well, aren't you glad
that we became friends?
Yeah very much so.
Yeah, me too.
Hey, Lexi! It's going so well!
We're gettin' a lot
of really good laughs.
Yeah, let's not get cocky, okay?
Oh, God.
thousand versions of myself.
Only do I look good, but
I fucking feel good
Lexi, you really outdid yourself.
I mean
where did she find these knock-offs.
Oh, shit.
I had no idea
that my sister had this in her.
Good job, right?
Isn't she brave?
She's up here, unpacking
all of her trauma.
I had no idea how hard
your life was, Lexi.
Can we give a round of applause
for how hard Lexi's life is?
Come on, guys.
I know they hack the heads off of
women in Afghanistan or wherever.
- That's racist!
- God.
It is nothing compared
to living in my shadow.
Yo, is this like a part of the play?
Is this part of the play?
I don't know.
- Lexi.
- Her name's Luna!
Is this part of the play?
- Lexi?
- Stop, please stop.
This is your show. Come out!
You're the big star of the day!
- Oh, shit.
- Please, Cassie, stop it.
You're the star of the night.
She's always wanted to be the star.
Whoo-hoo! Go, Lexi!
This is your big moment. Shine!
Please, stop. Please, stop.
Please, stop. Please, stop.
I should stop? Me?
I'm not the one putting on a play
- to humiliate and embarrass you!
- I didn't do that.
Oh, really?!
Then what is this?!
- What act are we in?
- Don't question it.
That's the brilliance of Lexi Howard.
Hi, everyone.
I'm Suze. I'm the girls' mom
in real life.
Um, played by Ethan.
Where is he? Ethan?
Who by the way
he you have me down to
a, to a, to a science, honey.
- Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it.
- He's gonna win an award.
Honey, let's go home.
- I deserve this, right?
- Oh my God, please, Mom, Mom.
- I deserve this?
- Stop!
- Mom, stop!
- Shh, you stop it.
Lexi, I'm going to fucking kill you.
I deserve this, right?
Because I've actually lived a life?
Mom?
I'm the one who takes risks.
Show us your boobs!
I'm the one who falls in love?
I'm the one who gets
hurt, not you, Lexi!
You never even fucking lived!
That's why you're able to stand
up here and judge all of us!
You're just a fuckin' bystander.
- Alright, alright
- Mom, stop!
Alright!
Oh, okay
Well if that makes me a villain,
- Whoo!
- Then so fuckin' be it.
I can play the fucking villain.
Yeah, do it!
Lexi, is this the part of the play
where I steal Jake from Marta?
No, Cassie, that's not in the play.
It is now!
Who said that?
- Look, I wanna say, I get it.
- Oh, God
I understand what you're going through.
- I do not want to hear from you.
- I lived it.
Wait, Hallie steals Marta's boyfriend?
I don't know how many
times I have to say this.
They were not fucking together.
Yeah, not only that,
but she was fucking him the entire time
Marta was talking about
getting back together with him.
No Why?
Because Hallie is a two-faced cunt.
I'm not a cunt! You're the cunt!
You're the fucking cunt, bitch!
I am not a fucking cunt.
Language, missy!
Okay, okay, you know what?
You're just fucking
embarrassing yourself.
- Let's go home.
- I'm not going home.
- The play's not over.
- Oh, my God.
I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
- Mom, this isn't fair!
- It's not her fault. She's a writer.
- She's a writer!
- This isn't fair, Mom!
How can she do this?
$3.25 for a grapefruit?
What is this, Venezuela?
Lexi, Lexi,
- I'm gonna fucking kill you!
- Okay, enough!
- Mom!
- I don't know. I'm panicking.
Go away. Just go away.
Stop. Stop it!
Oh, my God, yes! Oh, that's it!
Oh, my God, I just
love fucking everything!
No! I'm going to fucking kill you!
- Get the fuck off of the horse.
- Ow!
Get off!
Get off! You fucking bitch!
Oh, this bitch needs to be put down.
No, no, no. Maddy! No!
Maddy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, Maddy! No, no, no, no, no!
- Maddy, no!
- Maddy, beat her ass!
Fucking bitch!
Fuck you!
Oh, fuck.
Ooh!
No, no! Stop! Stop!
Stop this! Stop, stop
Maddy! No, no, no,
no, no, no! No, no, no!
Maddy! No!
Beat her fuckin' ass, Maddy!
She fuckin' deserves that shit!
She fucked your boyfriend!
It's all make-believe.
This is all scripted.
Can you believe this?
My baby's a genius.
Close the curtain!
Close the fucking curtain!
Now!
A few days earlier,
I stopped by Elliot's.
Yo Hey.
- What's goin' on?
- Ah, nothin' much. I was just, uh
walkin' around the neighborhood.
Thought I'd stop by and come tell ya
to go fuck yourself for bein' a snitch.
Uh
uh
I know, but for real, man, I, um
I think you might've
accidentally saved my life.
So, uh, you know, whatever happened
however it happened,
you know, however
it got to be whatever it is, uh
thank God it did.
'Cause I wouldn't be here to
tell you that I forgive you.
And that feels
that feels really,
really nice because, uh,
I have a lot of "I'm sorry's" to do.
But not a lot of "I forgive you's."
So
thank you for that.
So, you're not doin' anything?
Nah, you?
Yeah.
Don't worry. I'm not gonna tell anyone.
Thank you. Yeah.
You talk to Jules?
- No, you?
- Not really.
Yeah, that one's gonna
take me a little bit longer.
I get that.
Can I play you something?
Uh, yeah, sure. Go ahead.
Okay.
I've got no place
Buildin' you a rocket
up to outer space
I watch you fade
Keepin' the lights on
in this forsaken place
Little star
Feels like you fell right on my head
Gave you away to the wind
I hope it was worth it in the end
You and my guitar
I think you may be my only friend
I gave it all to see you shine again
I hope it was worth it in the end
Us against the world
Just a couple sinners
makin' fun of hell
If I keep you here
I'll only be doing it for myself
Little star
Feels like you fell right on my head
Gave you away to the wind
I hope it was worth it in the end
Yeah, I hope so
Think you may be my only friend
I gave it all to see you shine again
I hope it was worth it in the end
I know this thing is broken
So I leave my door wide open
Been some time since we've spoken
One day we'll meet again
Some distance when you're older
You'll come laying on my shoulder
Tell me that storm is over
That day we meet again
Feels like you fell right on my head
Gave you away to the wind
I hope it was worth it in the end
You and my guitar
I think you may be my only friend
I gave you away, mm-mm-mm
I hope it was worth it in the end
I'm still workin' on it.
I like it.
Um truth or dare?
Truth.
Do you think we can still be friends?
You know you're the one who said
we weren't any good for each other.
I still think that.
Yeah I, I found her.
I'm telling everyone that
that was a part of the play.
It's the only thing I've
ever done and it's a disaster.
It could be worse.
How?
It could be boring.
That's true.
I mean, how many shows
in the history of East Highland High
has started a riot?
It's not even over yet.
Art should be dangerous.
The show goes on.
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
Hallie dust yourself off
and get back on that pony.
Giddy up.
Let's fuckin' do this.
Um, as you may have noticed,
we're experiencing some
technical difficulties.
Um, but seriously,
I think we're gonna need a few minutes.
Um
I just wanted to thank
you all for being here.
I didn't know any of that
was gonna happen, uh
A little bit ago,
I was talking to a friend
about this play,
and I asked him
"What if I upset people?"
And he said to me,
"Sometimes, people need to
get their feelings hurt."
Um
so even though he couldn't
be here with us tonight
this one's for you.
I'm sorry, bruh,
but we have to make it
look like you ain't do this.
Just get out, man.
The cops are gon' kick down
that door any second, bro.
Even if they know that
you did this, bruh
I'm still gonna go down longer.
- No.
- Come here, bruh.
Listen to me.
Just go out there and surrender.
It's all on me, bruh. You hear me?
- No.
- They gon' come in here.
They gon' find me with
the knife in my hand.
Tell 'em you had nothin'
to do with this shit.
Listen to me. I did this shit!
I killed this muthafucker.
You hearin' me? Not you.
Mm-mm. No.
C'mon, now go wash your fucking hands.
I love you, brother.
Ash, stop playin'!
I need you to walk out
this fuckin' door right now, bruh!
Ash, we not doin' this shit, man!
How you think this gonna end, bruh?!
You trying to die?
Give me the gun, bruh.
Ash
I'm not finna let nothin' happen
to you. Now, give me the gun.
Come on, bro.
I'm not fuckin' askin', bro.
Come on, bro, please.
Fuck!
Ash! Ash, open the fucking
door right now!
I'm not playin' with you!
Ash!
Open the fucking door!
Wrong. I know.
Enough with the dirty dad joke.
Who is that?
You know him?
You're not even gonna
give me a hug, Dad?
That's your son?
Just to be there in your arms
Yep.
Got all the best parts of him.
Think I know what part that is.
You know what I think we have in common?
When we both get off
on hurting other people.
What do ya think?
- You wanna talk about this upstairs?
- No.
So, you, uh, livin' here now?
Uh, for the moment, yeah.
Ya happy?
I'm figuring it out.
Sorry.
Are you happier?
Why don't we go talk
about this upstairs?
- It's a simple question.
- Yes
In some ways.
- That's not fair.
- I know.
You don't get to ruin our lives.
And then, just move
on and get to be happier.
I've made a lot of mistakes.
When I was
eleven years old
I found these videos of my dad
fucking hookers in a motel room.
You know, for the longest time,
I had this recurring
nightmare, just over and over
and in it, he was fuckin' me
the way that he fucked them.
Did I ever tell you about that, Dad?
I think it's time that
uh, that everybody go.
- Um, um, I need to talk to my son.
- Oh, God.
Good luck.
- Bye.
- See ya, buddy.
I spent my whole life
tryin' to protect you.
And instead of loving me,
you fuckin' hated me for it.
I'm not proud of the person I've been.
I know that I've hurt you.
I don't wanna hear it.
I tried to keep it separate.
I failed.
I fucked up, Nate
but I love you.
I love you.
And I should've protected you,
I should've kept you safe, and I didn't.
I didn't.
And there's nothing I regret more.
I don't want your apology.
I just want revenge.
What does that mean?
What is that?
It's everything.
Everything.
Nate
don't do this.
Nate, look at me.
Do not do this.
Nate, don't do this.
I'm, I'm, I'm begging you.
- Don't do this.
- You are
who you are.
I don't think you're ever gonna change.
Chief Greenwood? He's in here.
Thanks, Nate. Appreciate it.
Cal, you're under arrest.
Put your hands behind your head.
Both of 'em.
Hands up!
Ash!
Hands in the air!
Hands in the air!
Don't do this shit!
Hands up!
Hands up!
On the ground!
Open door right!
Get 'em up!
Come on! Come out!
Ash!
Ash, open the door!
- Don't move!
- Drop the knife now!
Don't shoot, don't shoot!
There's a kid in there!
Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
- There's a kid in here!
- Drop the knife now!
Please, don't shoot!
Ash, come outta there!
Drop your knife!
Move slowly! There's a kid in here!
Please, don't shoot!
- Please, Ash, come out!
- Move back to my voice!
- Keep backing out!
- Ash!
Come out, man!
There's a fuckin' kid up in there!
Aaaah!
Ash!
Ash!
Don't shoot!
Ash, come on! Get outta there!
Please! Ash, come on, please!
Don't shoot him! It's a fucking kid!
Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Ash!
Ash!
Ash!
Ash!
Ash! Ash!
Answer me!
Ash!
Shh.
He's down!
I was in the hall when you died.
You let out a loud cry like you
didn't know what was gonna happen
and then, it was silent.
My my first thought was
"This feels like a movie."
I know a lot of people
feel that way when
traumatic things happen to them.
Uh, at least, I, I hear that a lot.
It didn't feel real.
It felt like a movie.
Uh, and this is it. This is
This is the part where the
character never recovers.
The part where life takes them down.
This is the s
This is the scene
that scars her forever.
Lexi.
- Get dressed. It's your dad.
- What?
Feel like your whole life you've been
forced to take care of everyone.
I, uh
I watched you die
and all I could think about
was how none of it felt real.
The lights, the heavy boots of the EMTs
and their respectful, quiet voices
"Let's lift him on three."
It was so quiet.
I was numb.
I didn't care.
I wasn't feeling life in the way
it was meant to be felt because
I wasn't present.
I wasn't actually there.
I was just watching it.
But that's not true.
I do care.
And what if
what if the reason
it felt like a movie
was because I wanted to
believe that losing you
is a part of a larger story.
One that maybe I could
maybe I could still shape.
I I remember a couple of
days before you passed away.
You told me
that if I ever wanted to be with you
all I would have to
do is close my eyes
and we'd be together.
You said that
memories exist outside of time
and have no beginning or end.
You said as long as I live
you'll be with me forever.
I miss you, Dad.
I miss you until I close my eyes.
That's it.
Thank you.
Hey.
Hey.
Um
I, I just, I just wanted
to tell you that I
I thought your play
was really beautiful.
You might be the only
one who thinks that.
Yeah, well,
could you imagine if I, like,
hated it and Cassie loved it?
Um, but what are you doing today?
Um, I was
Yeah, just laying in bed.
Cool, well, um, can I
maybe, like, come over?
Yeah.
Totally.
Okay cool. I'll see you later then.
- Okay.
- Okay, bye.
I feel like all the kids in
high school are super crazy.
It's literally the same as eighth grade.
People are just way more dramatic.
All the senior guys are, like, nice.
How are you feeling?
I don't know. I'm okay.
All right, all right.
I never see the five
of you little babies together,
so we're gonna take a photo, okay?
- No, Mom, please don't take a photo.
- All right, everyone come
together like that. Beautiful!
Mom, no one wants
to remember this moment.
- You little sugar sweethearts.
- Please, stop, stop.
I think your play was the first time
I was able to look at my
life and not hate myself
for everything I've done.
What do you mean?
I don't know. I think
I've been through a lot.
And I don't know what to do with it.
But you've been through a lot
and you know what to do with it.
- I don't know about that.
- Lex, look what you made.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to
get to where you are.
But I just wanted you to know that
seeing it meant the world to me.
Do you think about your dad often?
Me too.
I feel like I had so much to learn
from him still, you know?
I also think I'm really angry about it.
Yeah.
Do you ever get angry about it?
It's a bit more complicated than that.
What do you mean?
I think, like
I was kind of relieved
when he stopped showing up.
'Cause I was so worried
something bad was gonna happen.
I get that.
Now
every time the phone rings, it's like
You know?
But you figured it out.
You fuckin' figured it out.
When my dad died, everybody
would tell me that
he died for a reason.
Ah, that shit used to piss me off.
I would literally wanna
fucking strangle them.
But
I think what they're actually saying
is that you gotta give it a reason.
You gotta give all this shit a reason.
Because I don't wanna
hold on to this forever.
I can't, I can't hold on to it forever.
Just doesn't feel good.
It's just
I know other people are,
like, built different, but
Yeah.
It's too much for me.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- No.
- No, sorry.
- I'm sorry. I didn't
Lexi
I promise you, it's not all his fault.
I don't know for certain
but I'm, uh
I'm pretty sure he wakes up every day
and he thinks,
"I'm gonna be better for her.
I'm gonna be there for her."
That's also the problem.
Because he only wants
to be better for you.
Because I know that he loves you
a lot more than he loves himself.
Mm.
I don't know if
that made you feel better.
Thank you.
It's okay.
I miss you.
Do you know what's funny?
Nate broke up with me before
I even went on that stage.
Don't worry.
This is just the beginning.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Hi!
I know you're probably
still really angry at me
but I just wanted to
tell you that I love you.
And I miss you.
So much.
Jules was my first love.
I'd like to remember it that way.
I don't know if that's
actually true, though.
I think I was high for too much of it.
I know it wasn't easy for her.
And I hope she forgives me.
I stayed clean through the
rest of the school year.
I wish I could say that
was a decision I made.
In some ways, it was just easier.
I don't know if this
feeling will last forever
but I am trying.
I remember Ali said,
"The thought of maybe
being a good person,
is what keeps me trying
to be a good person."
Maybe there's something to that.
All right, y'all, I'm finna head out.
Wait, you're, uh, you're leavin'?
Yeah, I'm about to leave right now.
Is-is everything good?
Yeah, before you go, bro,
I, I really gotta talk
to you about somethin'.
Like what, man?
Everything.
The fuck is you talkin' 'bout, bruh?
Bro
The fuckin' cops found Mouse's body.
Sorry.
Did you hear what I said?
Ch-ch-ch
I thought you told me that
Laurie killed Mouse, right?
- Laurie?
- Wha
I never said that.
What are you talkin' about?
Yeah, you know, Laurie,
the drug dealer that lives in
the apartment complex off Kemper.
Yeah, you were the one that
told me she killed Mouse.
I never said that.
- Yes, you did.
- What are you talking about?
- Are you high?
- You know that Laurie and those
fucking people, they scare me.
Why are you trying to protect them?
I'm not fuckin' protecting anyone.
What the fuck is this?
- So, you're working for Laurie?
- Hey, no!
So how about you just shut the fuck up!
Okay, then why are you trying to
cover up a murder that she committed?
All right, now.
Think it's time for you to
get outta here, big fella.
Bro we gotta figure out
what the fuck we're gonna say.
Okay, this is becoming a fucking issue.
- No!
- Wait, Ash. No!
Do you ever think about the future?
- Yeah, all the time.
- Really?
Yeah.
Like you have a plan?
I mean, I don't, I don't
got, like, a plan-plan,
but I be thinking about
living on a farm, you know?
I don't really see you as a farmer.
Yeah, fuck it.
Get some horses, cows,
pigs, chickens, goats.
Have a little family.
Like some "Little House on the
Prairie"-type shit. You know?
I don't know if I know that show.
You never heard of
"Little House on the Prairie"?
Okay, this might
sound kind of crazy but,
my plan is to have,
like, three kids at 30.
Like, each one a year and a half apart.
So from 30 to 58, I can focus on,
you know, being a good mom and
raising my kids, et cetera, et cetera.
And then, drop the last
one off at college at 58.
Which will give me, like, 32 years
to focus on me and live my life
and take my time with writing.
I mean, you really got this
shit all figured out, huh?
Yeah.
It's kind of crazy, right?
I mean
they got, they got
three kids in that show.
There's no need to forget your manners.
Just because we're hundreds
of miles from civilized folk.
If you lived in a place like this,
do you think you'd have a gun?
Hell yeah, I'd own a gun.
I hate guns.
Nobody's ever got shot at
and thought to they-self,
"Whoa! Thank goodness we didn't
have a gun to shoot back." You know?
Yeah, but then
what are the police for?
Fucked if I know. Shit.
Wait, are you on Instagram or Twitter?
Hell no.
- Really? Why?
- Oh yeah.
Well, why would I want anybody
knowin' what I'm thinkin' or feelin'?
I don't know. You can connect
with people who have similar interests.
Mmm. I just feel like people
be sharin' way too much on there.
- Online?
- Yeah.
They be ruinin' the mystery, you know?
Like, say if I like a girl,
I wanna find out what she's
about on my own, you know?
I don't wanna google the scraps.
I wanna, I wanna peel back the layers.
Yeah, but, like, why would you wanna
waste time getting to know someone
if you don't have anything
in common with them?
I don't know. That's what I like
about you the most, though, like
we don't really have nothin' in common.
That's not true. We both
have the same sense of humor,
and are empathic and curious.
And wanna have, like, kids.
Those aren't interests,
you know, those are
real character traits.
It's That's the important
shit that, that
people don't post online.
Yeah, I never thought
about it that way.
Well, aren't you glad
that we became friends?
Yeah very much so.
Yeah, me too.
Hey, Lexi! It's going so well!
We're gettin' a lot
of really good laughs.
Yeah, let's not get cocky, okay?
Oh, God.
thousand versions of myself.
Only do I look good, but
I fucking feel good
Lexi, you really outdid yourself.
I mean
where did she find these knock-offs.
Oh, shit.
I had no idea
that my sister had this in her.
Good job, right?
Isn't she brave?
She's up here, unpacking
all of her trauma.
I had no idea how hard
your life was, Lexi.
Can we give a round of applause
for how hard Lexi's life is?
Come on, guys.
I know they hack the heads off of
women in Afghanistan or wherever.
- That's racist!
- God.
It is nothing compared
to living in my shadow.
Yo, is this like a part of the play?
Is this part of the play?
I don't know.
- Lexi.
- Her name's Luna!
Is this part of the play?
- Lexi?
- Stop, please stop.
This is your show. Come out!
You're the big star of the day!
- Oh, shit.
- Please, Cassie, stop it.
You're the star of the night.
She's always wanted to be the star.
Whoo-hoo! Go, Lexi!
This is your big moment. Shine!
Please, stop. Please, stop.
Please, stop. Please, stop.
I should stop? Me?
I'm not the one putting on a play
- to humiliate and embarrass you!
- I didn't do that.
Oh, really?!
Then what is this?!
- What act are we in?
- Don't question it.
That's the brilliance of Lexi Howard.
Hi, everyone.
I'm Suze. I'm the girls' mom
in real life.
Um, played by Ethan.
Where is he? Ethan?
Who by the way
he you have me down to
a, to a, to a science, honey.
- Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it.
- He's gonna win an award.
Honey, let's go home.
- I deserve this, right?
- Oh my God, please, Mom, Mom.
- I deserve this?
- Stop!
- Mom, stop!
- Shh, you stop it.
Lexi, I'm going to fucking kill you.
I deserve this, right?
Because I've actually lived a life?
Mom?
I'm the one who takes risks.
Show us your boobs!
I'm the one who falls in love?
I'm the one who gets
hurt, not you, Lexi!
You never even fucking lived!
That's why you're able to stand
up here and judge all of us!
You're just a fuckin' bystander.
- Alright, alright
- Mom, stop!
Alright!
Oh, okay
Well if that makes me a villain,
- Whoo!
- Then so fuckin' be it.
I can play the fucking villain.
Yeah, do it!
Lexi, is this the part of the play
where I steal Jake from Marta?
No, Cassie, that's not in the play.
It is now!
Who said that?
- Look, I wanna say, I get it.
- Oh, God
I understand what you're going through.
- I do not want to hear from you.
- I lived it.
Wait, Hallie steals Marta's boyfriend?
I don't know how many
times I have to say this.
They were not fucking together.
Yeah, not only that,
but she was fucking him the entire time
Marta was talking about
getting back together with him.
No Why?
Because Hallie is a two-faced cunt.
I'm not a cunt! You're the cunt!
You're the fucking cunt, bitch!
I am not a fucking cunt.
Language, missy!
Okay, okay, you know what?
You're just fucking
embarrassing yourself.
- Let's go home.
- I'm not going home.
- The play's not over.
- Oh, my God.
I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
- Mom, this isn't fair!
- It's not her fault. She's a writer.
- She's a writer!
- This isn't fair, Mom!
How can she do this?
$3.25 for a grapefruit?
What is this, Venezuela?
Lexi, Lexi,
- I'm gonna fucking kill you!
- Okay, enough!
- Mom!
- I don't know. I'm panicking.
Go away. Just go away.
Stop. Stop it!
Oh, my God, yes! Oh, that's it!
Oh, my God, I just
love fucking everything!
No! I'm going to fucking kill you!
- Get the fuck off of the horse.
- Ow!
Get off!
Get off! You fucking bitch!
Oh, this bitch needs to be put down.
No, no, no. Maddy! No!
Maddy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, Maddy! No, no, no, no, no!
- Maddy, no!
- Maddy, beat her ass!
Fucking bitch!
Fuck you!
Oh, fuck.
Ooh!
No, no! Stop! Stop!
Stop this! Stop, stop
Maddy! No, no, no,
no, no, no! No, no, no!
Maddy! No!
Beat her fuckin' ass, Maddy!
She fuckin' deserves that shit!
She fucked your boyfriend!
It's all make-believe.
This is all scripted.
Can you believe this?
My baby's a genius.
Close the curtain!
Close the fucking curtain!
Now!
A few days earlier,
I stopped by Elliot's.
Yo Hey.
- What's goin' on?
- Ah, nothin' much. I was just, uh
walkin' around the neighborhood.
Thought I'd stop by and come tell ya
to go fuck yourself for bein' a snitch.
Uh
uh
I know, but for real, man, I, um
I think you might've
accidentally saved my life.
So, uh, you know, whatever happened
however it happened,
you know, however
it got to be whatever it is, uh
thank God it did.
'Cause I wouldn't be here to
tell you that I forgive you.
And that feels
that feels really,
really nice because, uh,
I have a lot of "I'm sorry's" to do.
But not a lot of "I forgive you's."
So
thank you for that.
So, you're not doin' anything?
Nah, you?
Yeah.
Don't worry. I'm not gonna tell anyone.
Thank you. Yeah.
You talk to Jules?
- No, you?
- Not really.
Yeah, that one's gonna
take me a little bit longer.
I get that.
Can I play you something?
Uh, yeah, sure. Go ahead.
Okay.
I've got no place
Buildin' you a rocket
up to outer space
I watch you fade
Keepin' the lights on
in this forsaken place
Little star
Feels like you fell right on my head
Gave you away to the wind
I hope it was worth it in the end
You and my guitar
I think you may be my only friend
I gave it all to see you shine again
I hope it was worth it in the end
Us against the world
Just a couple sinners
makin' fun of hell
If I keep you here
I'll only be doing it for myself
Little star
Feels like you fell right on my head
Gave you away to the wind
I hope it was worth it in the end
Yeah, I hope so
Think you may be my only friend
I gave it all to see you shine again
I hope it was worth it in the end
I know this thing is broken
So I leave my door wide open
Been some time since we've spoken
One day we'll meet again
Some distance when you're older
You'll come laying on my shoulder
Tell me that storm is over
That day we meet again
Feels like you fell right on my head
Gave you away to the wind
I hope it was worth it in the end
You and my guitar
I think you may be my only friend
I gave you away, mm-mm-mm
I hope it was worth it in the end
I'm still workin' on it.
I like it.
Um truth or dare?
Truth.
Do you think we can still be friends?
You know you're the one who said
we weren't any good for each other.
I still think that.
Yeah I, I found her.
I'm telling everyone that
that was a part of the play.
It's the only thing I've
ever done and it's a disaster.
It could be worse.
How?
It could be boring.
That's true.
I mean, how many shows
in the history of East Highland High
has started a riot?
It's not even over yet.
Art should be dangerous.
The show goes on.
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
Hallie dust yourself off
and get back on that pony.
Giddy up.
Let's fuckin' do this.
Um, as you may have noticed,
we're experiencing some
technical difficulties.
Um, but seriously,
I think we're gonna need a few minutes.
Um
I just wanted to thank
you all for being here.
I didn't know any of that
was gonna happen, uh
A little bit ago,
I was talking to a friend
about this play,
and I asked him
"What if I upset people?"
And he said to me,
"Sometimes, people need to
get their feelings hurt."
Um
so even though he couldn't
be here with us tonight
this one's for you.
I'm sorry, bruh,
but we have to make it
look like you ain't do this.
Just get out, man.
The cops are gon' kick down
that door any second, bro.
Even if they know that
you did this, bruh
I'm still gonna go down longer.
- No.
- Come here, bruh.
Listen to me.
Just go out there and surrender.
It's all on me, bruh. You hear me?
- No.
- They gon' come in here.
They gon' find me with
the knife in my hand.
Tell 'em you had nothin'
to do with this shit.
Listen to me. I did this shit!
I killed this muthafucker.
You hearin' me? Not you.
Mm-mm. No.
C'mon, now go wash your fucking hands.
I love you, brother.
Ash, stop playin'!
I need you to walk out
this fuckin' door right now, bruh!
Ash, we not doin' this shit, man!
How you think this gonna end, bruh?!
You trying to die?
Give me the gun, bruh.
Ash
I'm not finna let nothin' happen
to you. Now, give me the gun.
Come on, bro.
I'm not fuckin' askin', bro.
Come on, bro, please.
Fuck!
Ash! Ash, open the fucking
door right now!
I'm not playin' with you!
Ash!
Open the fucking door!
Wrong. I know.
Enough with the dirty dad joke.
Who is that?
You know him?
You're not even gonna
give me a hug, Dad?
That's your son?
Just to be there in your arms
Yep.
Got all the best parts of him.
Think I know what part that is.
You know what I think we have in common?
When we both get off
on hurting other people.
What do ya think?
- You wanna talk about this upstairs?
- No.
So, you, uh, livin' here now?
Uh, for the moment, yeah.
Ya happy?
I'm figuring it out.
Sorry.
Are you happier?
Why don't we go talk
about this upstairs?
- It's a simple question.
- Yes
In some ways.
- That's not fair.
- I know.
You don't get to ruin our lives.
And then, just move
on and get to be happier.
I've made a lot of mistakes.
When I was
eleven years old
I found these videos of my dad
fucking hookers in a motel room.
You know, for the longest time,
I had this recurring
nightmare, just over and over
and in it, he was fuckin' me
the way that he fucked them.
Did I ever tell you about that, Dad?
I think it's time that
uh, that everybody go.
- Um, um, I need to talk to my son.
- Oh, God.
Good luck.
- Bye.
- See ya, buddy.
I spent my whole life
tryin' to protect you.
And instead of loving me,
you fuckin' hated me for it.
I'm not proud of the person I've been.
I know that I've hurt you.
I don't wanna hear it.
I tried to keep it separate.
I failed.
I fucked up, Nate
but I love you.
I love you.
And I should've protected you,
I should've kept you safe, and I didn't.
I didn't.
And there's nothing I regret more.
I don't want your apology.
I just want revenge.
What does that mean?
What is that?
It's everything.
Everything.
Nate
don't do this.
Nate, look at me.
Do not do this.
Nate, don't do this.
I'm, I'm, I'm begging you.
- Don't do this.
- You are
who you are.
I don't think you're ever gonna change.
Chief Greenwood? He's in here.
Thanks, Nate. Appreciate it.
Cal, you're under arrest.
Put your hands behind your head.
Both of 'em.
Hands up!
Ash!
Hands in the air!
Hands in the air!
Don't do this shit!
Hands up!
Hands up!
On the ground!
Open door right!
Get 'em up!
Come on! Come out!
Ash!
Ash, open the door!
- Don't move!
- Drop the knife now!
Don't shoot, don't shoot!
There's a kid in there!
Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
- There's a kid in here!
- Drop the knife now!
Please, don't shoot!
Ash, come outta there!
Drop your knife!
Move slowly! There's a kid in here!
Please, don't shoot!
- Please, Ash, come out!
- Move back to my voice!
- Keep backing out!
- Ash!
Come out, man!
There's a fuckin' kid up in there!
Aaaah!
Ash!
Ash!
Don't shoot!
Ash, come on! Get outta there!
Please! Ash, come on, please!
Don't shoot him! It's a fucking kid!
Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Ash!
Ash!
Ash!
Ash!
Ash! Ash!
Answer me!
Ash!
Shh.
He's down!
I was in the hall when you died.
You let out a loud cry like you
didn't know what was gonna happen
and then, it was silent.
My my first thought was
"This feels like a movie."
I know a lot of people
feel that way when
traumatic things happen to them.
Uh, at least, I, I hear that a lot.
It didn't feel real.
It felt like a movie.
Uh, and this is it. This is
This is the part where the
character never recovers.
The part where life takes them down.
This is the s
This is the scene
that scars her forever.
Lexi.
- Get dressed. It's your dad.
- What?
Feel like your whole life you've been
forced to take care of everyone.
I, uh
I watched you die
and all I could think about
was how none of it felt real.
The lights, the heavy boots of the EMTs
and their respectful, quiet voices
"Let's lift him on three."
It was so quiet.
I was numb.
I didn't care.
I wasn't feeling life in the way
it was meant to be felt because
I wasn't present.
I wasn't actually there.
I was just watching it.
But that's not true.
I do care.
And what if
what if the reason
it felt like a movie
was because I wanted to
believe that losing you
is a part of a larger story.
One that maybe I could
maybe I could still shape.
I I remember a couple of
days before you passed away.
You told me
that if I ever wanted to be with you
all I would have to
do is close my eyes
and we'd be together.
You said that
memories exist outside of time
and have no beginning or end.
You said as long as I live
you'll be with me forever.
I miss you, Dad.
I miss you until I close my eyes.
That's it.
Thank you.
Hey.
Hey.
Um
I, I just, I just wanted
to tell you that I
I thought your play
was really beautiful.
You might be the only
one who thinks that.
Yeah, well,
could you imagine if I, like,
hated it and Cassie loved it?
Um, but what are you doing today?
Um, I was
Yeah, just laying in bed.
Cool, well, um, can I
maybe, like, come over?
Yeah.
Totally.
Okay cool. I'll see you later then.
- Okay.
- Okay, bye.
I feel like all the kids in
high school are super crazy.
It's literally the same as eighth grade.
People are just way more dramatic.
All the senior guys are, like, nice.
How are you feeling?
I don't know. I'm okay.
All right, all right.
I never see the five
of you little babies together,
so we're gonna take a photo, okay?
- No, Mom, please don't take a photo.
- All right, everyone come
together like that. Beautiful!
Mom, no one wants
to remember this moment.
- You little sugar sweethearts.
- Please, stop, stop.
I think your play was the first time
I was able to look at my
life and not hate myself
for everything I've done.
What do you mean?
I don't know. I think
I've been through a lot.
And I don't know what to do with it.
But you've been through a lot
and you know what to do with it.
- I don't know about that.
- Lex, look what you made.
I don't know how to do that.
I don't know how to
get to where you are.
But I just wanted you to know that
seeing it meant the world to me.
Do you think about your dad often?
Me too.
I feel like I had so much to learn
from him still, you know?
I also think I'm really angry about it.
Yeah.
Do you ever get angry about it?
It's a bit more complicated than that.
What do you mean?
I think, like
I was kind of relieved
when he stopped showing up.
'Cause I was so worried
something bad was gonna happen.
I get that.
Now
every time the phone rings, it's like
You know?
But you figured it out.
You fuckin' figured it out.
When my dad died, everybody
would tell me that
he died for a reason.
Ah, that shit used to piss me off.
I would literally wanna
fucking strangle them.
But
I think what they're actually saying
is that you gotta give it a reason.
You gotta give all this shit a reason.
Because I don't wanna
hold on to this forever.
I can't, I can't hold on to it forever.
Just doesn't feel good.
It's just
I know other people are,
like, built different, but
Yeah.
It's too much for me.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- No.
- No, sorry.
- I'm sorry. I didn't
Lexi
I promise you, it's not all his fault.
I don't know for certain
but I'm, uh
I'm pretty sure he wakes up every day
and he thinks,
"I'm gonna be better for her.
I'm gonna be there for her."
That's also the problem.
Because he only wants
to be better for you.
Because I know that he loves you
a lot more than he loves himself.
Mm.
I don't know if
that made you feel better.
Thank you.
It's okay.
I miss you.
Do you know what's funny?
Nate broke up with me before
I even went on that stage.
Don't worry.
This is just the beginning.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Hi!
I know you're probably
still really angry at me
but I just wanted to
tell you that I love you.
And I miss you.
So much.
Jules was my first love.
I'd like to remember it that way.
I don't know if that's
actually true, though.
I think I was high for too much of it.
I know it wasn't easy for her.
And I hope she forgives me.
I stayed clean through the
rest of the school year.
I wish I could say that
was a decision I made.
In some ways, it was just easier.
I don't know if this
feeling will last forever
but I am trying.
I remember Ali said,
"The thought of maybe
being a good person,
is what keeps me trying
to be a good person."
Maybe there's something to that.