Happy Days (1974) s02e08 Episode Script

1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
A boy asked Joanie out for a date?
Our little girl on her first date.
Well, she's just not a baby anymore.
Aw, Marion, she's just going to a movie.
She's not eloping.
Oh, but this is not a daytime date.
This is her first nighttime date.
Chopping onions, Mom?
Oh
I can't believe Joanie going on a date with a boy.
Well, why not?
Girls date and I'm a girl.
I guess I never thought of you that way.
Well, Raymond does, and he's pretty neat.
He's got a paper route and he's gonna pay for everything.
Did he say that?
No. But he is gonna pay.
Isn't he?
Oh, of course, dear.
The gentleman always pays for everything.
And I'm sure he's a gentleman.
How did you happen to meet him?
He dropped a water bomb on me.
Well, maybe you'd better give her a little money, Howard.
Hey, Wendy, come on over.
Oh, yeah, I'll have some of your fries.
Okay. All right.
Cheeseburger, choc malt, order of fries.
And hurry up, will you, Wendy? I'm late for dinner.
You guys are a riot.
Marsha, how much is a chocolate malt again?
Same as I told you before.
I forgot again.
Okay. Let's try this.
See where it says "chocolate malt"?
Now, we follow the little dots until we see "25 cents."
Got it? Thanks.
Okay. And if you're good,
tomorrow we'll work you up to French fries.
Didn't you get a date yet?
I thought you were doubling with Carol and I.
Don't worry, don't worry. I'll get a date.
It's not like I'm desperate.
Hey, Marsh
how about a date tomorrow night? Huh?
Sorry. I never date a boy to do a man's job.
Now I'm desperate.
Can you set me up, Ralph?
Oh, sure. I got a great girl for you.
Who? Her name's Marlene.
What if she has a date?
Who would date Marlene?
Ralph!
Don't worry.
Cunningham c'mere.
Hey, Fonz.
How you doing? Pretty good.
I want to tell you I think it's uh
What?
My kid nephew's dating your kid sister.
Oh, he's your nephew?
Yeah. I didn't know that.
Yeah, he's got a lot of class. You're really gonna like him.
I'm gonna let him come around
and hang out for a little while, huh?
His name is Spike. Spike?
Yeah. I thought his name was Raymond.
We're trying to live that down.
Hey, Uncle Fonz!
Hey, how you doin', Spike?
Spike, this is Richie. Richie, this is Spike.
This is Joanie's older brother.
Yeah?
Hey about your sister's build
She's only 12.
Yeah, but she's built like she's 13.
Yeah, well let's eat, huh?
See ya, Cunningham.
See ya, Cunningham.
Yeah.
Spike?
My little girl's going out tomorrow night with a Spike?
And he's Fonzie's nephew.
Where do you think we went wrong, Howard?
Oh, come on now, Marion,
we're probably blowing this whole thing out of proportion.
So what if he is Fonzie's nephew?
What's the difference?
Fonzie's not so bad.
He's probably got a good heart underneath all that leather.
Oh
Aw, Marion, now there's nothing to worry about.
Look, we've brought Joanie up properly.
She knows right from wrong.
Well, I'm not so sure.
What do you mean, you're not so sure, Marion?
Well, let me put it this way:
Joanie probably thinks that everything is all right,
because no one has told her about wrong.
Well now, don't you think that it's about time
that you had that little talk with her?
Oh, Howard, why don't you talk to her?
Me? Oh, no!
Come on now, Marion, that's your department.
My job is to have that little talk with Richie.
And when the opportunity comes up, I will.
You haven't talked to Richard yet?
My father hasn't talked to me yet.
You know, in California,
they teach about the birds and the bees right in school.
That's California.
In Milwaukee, Marion,
the birds and bees are only
here four months out of the year.
I'm going to do it. I want to get it over with.
Howard?
Hmm?
Do you suppose that there's
anything new that I should know about?
Now, how would I know that, Marion?
That's right.
Well, I'm just gonna be honest and straightforward with her.
Good. I'm just gonna tell her the facts.
Good. You tell her just exactly what your mother told you.
That if she kisses a boy, she'll go blind.
I heard that, dear, and it's not funny.
Sha-la-la-la ♪
Wake up, dear.
Mom, what's the matter? Is the house on fire?!
No, dear. I just
thought we'd we'd have a little talk.
About what?
Well, about your date.
He's here already?
I must have really overslept.
He is not here, and you just went to bed an hour ago.
Oh.
Joanie this is a moment
a moment shared by a mother and a daughter
that you'll remember the rest of your life.
Are you gonna raise my allowance?
No, dear.
Now, you see, the questions that I had in mind are about
the things that boys and girls do together.
Oh, like necking.
You you know about necking?
Sure, it means kissing and hugging,
like they do in the balcony.
I watch them when the movie's crummy.
Well, you know, kissing and hugging is just
part of it.
You see, nature gives us a certain urge.
You mean I've got an urge that no one told me about?
Oh, Joanie, you're making this very difficult.
I'm telling you about life.
You see, there is a right way and a wrong way.
Now, the right way is to finish high school and then you go
to college, you fall in love with a nice man
Say a doctor or a lawyer And you get married
and you build a home, put some money in the bank
and then you have a baby.
You don't have to do all that just to have a baby.
Linda Shanley's sister Candy quit high school to have hers.
She did? I thought she went away to boarding school.
Well, nonetheless now, you see, Candy's is the wrong way.
Now, if this Spike tries
to put his arm around you in the movie theater,
you just tell him that you are not that kind of a girl.
What kind of a girl?
Uh well
the kind of a girl that you're not.
Oh Hey, this is my sex talk!
Yes!
What's going on with Joanie?
Yesterday all she cared about was who was gonna pay
for the popcorn and now she's
up there talking about necking.
What did you say to her?
Well, Howard, you told me to talk to her.
Yes, talk, but not tell her anything.
If that's Raymond, I'm ready!
You're not ready, dear.
Go back upstairs. Now, if you want to attract boys,
you're not supposed to look eager.
We don't want her to attract boys.
Well, regardless, there are certain things
a girl has to learn. But Mom!
Besides, your father would like a chance to meet him.
Oh, Richie, will you stick around
for a few minutes and help me meet Spike?
Sure, Dad.
Well, uh, hello, Raymond.
I'm Mr. Cunningham.
My friends call me Spike.
Oh, yes, of course. Spike.
Won't you come in?
Hey, Rich. What's shakin'?
Not much.
Joanie'll be down in just a minute.
Well, Dad Uh, can I go now?
Oh, yes, go ahead, Richard, have fun.
Thanks.
Well, Spike
tell me something about yourself, huh?
Well, you know, I get around.
Hmm Is this your first date, too?
Yeah, but don't worry.
I got the straight dope.
Straight dope?
From Uncle Fonzie, before I came over.
He put me straight on chicks and stuff.
And stuff?
I thought we were going roller
skating with Potsie and his date.
Well, Potsie couldn't get a date.
Besides I hate to miss a good movie.
Listen, there's one thing I need to mention.
My father asked us to do a little favor.
Richie, do I see two kids in the back seat?
That's the favor.
We're babysitting?
Oh, not exactly.
My father is giving us 50 cents
an hour to double date with them.
Hey, Carol.
What's shakin'?
Please, Mary Lou, you can't leave me like this.
It'll never work out.
Is it because I'm a werewolf?
That's part of it.
Look at me, Mary Lou.
Are these the lips of a werewolf?
I didn't know people could kiss that long.
You oughta see Uncle Fonzie operate.
Joanie can see us.
So?
So, I don't think we should set a bad example.
Here. Here you go, Spike.
What?
Enjoying the movie?
So-so.
Huh?
Thanks for the popcorn.
I hope you didn't salt it.
Joanie.
Joanie!
Carol, where have you been?
I went to the ladies' room.
Why? Why?
Where are the kids?
I don't know. You don't know?
They were just sitting right here.
I told you to keep an eye on 'em. I
can't keep Well, I was watching
They said they were going to Arnold's or someplace.
We got to find 'em come on.
I want to stay and see the movie.
Oh, come on; This is the third time you've seen it.
But I never saw the ending.
The first two times were at the drive-in.
No, we've got to go, let's go.
No, this is the best part. Come on, Carol.
Richie.
Sorry, uh
Here, why don't you just keep it?
But you are the first one I thought of.
Yeah.
Okay, Marlene.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, sure, I understand.
Yeah.
See ya.
She won't go out with me 'cause it's Saturday night.
I mean, what's that mean?
It's the code.
Oh, yeah, the old code.
What code's that?
No girl wants to look unpopular, right?
So if you want to date a girl for Saturday night,
you got to ask her out by Thursday,
unless of course, you're going steady,
in which case you can ask her out as late as Friday.
But you can't ask a girl out for Saturday afternoon
and expect her to go out with you,
unless you just broke up with a girl she hates.
And to dare to ask a girl out on Saturday night
for Saturday night
Tony Curtis couldn't get a date
with Janet Leigh on that short notice.
Do you understand?
That's a dumb code.
Maybe, but it's the only one we've got.
Joanie!
Joanie!
You're a real fun date, Richie.
Maybe they're inside.
Come on.
Joanie.
Potsie, have you seen Joanie and Spike?
They were here, but they left.
Do you know where they went?
No, but maybe they left a trail of French fries.
This is serious, Potsie.
I'm hungry and my feet hurt.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Listen.
Potsie, would you do me a favor? Sure.
Would you kind of watch out for Carol?
Here. Here's a dollar.
Get her anything she wants, okay?
Oh, I'll do it for nothing.
All right. On second thought,
I'm a big tipper.
Okay, thanks. Well?
Potsie's gonna take care of you.
I'll see you later, okay?
I can hardly wait.
Marsha, my little sister left here with Spike.
Do you know where they went?
Have you checked Kiddieland?
Come on, he's Fonzie's nephew.
Have you checked the motels?
Thanks a lot, Marsha.
Look, why don't you just go home
and tell your parents that she's lost?
She's not lost.
She's just kind of misplaced.
Besides, she's my responsibility.
I can't give up on her.
I got to find her.
Well, there might be a clue in the fact
that Spike likes to do what Fonzie likes to do.
Right. Do you know where Fonzie is?
Inspiration Point.
Inspiration Point?
Joanie.
Joanie!
Joanie.
Joanie, it's Richie.
What are you, crazy?
Ralph, have you seen Joanie up here?
How can you ask me a question like that at a time like this?
Ruby was going to give me her best kiss.
She's taking out her retainer.
I can't find her anywhere, and I'm starting to sweat.
Ralph, would you help me look for her?
You got to be kidding.
She's already got one rubber band off.
My little sister is alone with Fonzie's nephew.
Oh, right.
Okay, I'll help you.
Hey, Ruby, check around while I'm gone.
Make sure there's no poison ivy.
Thanks, Ralph, come on.
She's great; She was a Girl Scout.
If there was poison ivy, she'll find it.
Joanie.
Shh, we're not at Arnold's.
I wish we were.
Joanie.
Rich, they're not here.
Let's face it.
Spike doesn't even have a car to make out in.
You didn't need a car.
Oh, yeah.
Rich, you know, there's something special
about making out under a tree.
I figure my love life would double
if they showed drive-in movies in orchards.
Yeah, you're a real nature lover, Ralph.
Yeah, and Ruby has the best nature has to offer.
Carol? Potsie?
Hi, buddy.
What are you doing up here with my date?
I'm not your date anymore.
Yeah and look, Rich
I was driving her home, and we took a wrong turn.
And What are you doing here?
I'm here with Ralph.
Rich, I know this really looks bad,
but there's a simple explanation.
Tell me about it tomorrow.
It'll give you some time to think of it.
I got to find Joanie.
Come on, Ralph.
You haven't found Joanie yet?
Hey, I'll help you look.
Oh, thanks, Pots.
I don't believe this.
This is an emergency.
He's my best friend.
Joanie.
Squirt.
Come on, Joanie.
Joanie.
Forget it.
I don't know where they are.
Look on the bright side.
They're too young to elope.
Yeah, besides, I don't think Spike's the marrying kind.
Just trying to cheer you up.
Hey
would you turkeys take your party somewhere else?
I can't concentrate.
Fonzie, I'm really glad to see you.
Yeah.
Spike disappeared with Joanie.
So what is the big sweat?
Well, I'm worried because Spike's your nephew,
and he's trying to do everything the way you would.
Yeah!
Yeah.
That's a lot of cool for a 12-year-old kid.
I mean, I couldn't handle it myself till I was 13.
Will you help us look for 'em?
Sure, why not?
Oh, great I think we should split up.
Ralph, why don't you go over there?
Uh Potsie, if you went over there it'd be good.
Fonzie, I was thinking Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Why do you turkeys always take the hard way out, huh?
Can I have your attention, please?!
All right, now, listen up.
I got an announcement to make.
I'm looking for a 12-year-old girl.
Hey, you told me you were 16.
All right, she's Richie Cunningham's little kid sister,
and she's with my nephew, Spike,
who's also a kid, but very, very cool.
Now, if you've seen 'em or heard 'em, honk.
All right, go back to what you were doing
before your lips get cold.
She ain't around.
Okay? Okay.
Okay? Hey.
Let's get back to business here, huh?
Did you miss me?
Well, that's that.
Sorry, Rich.
Well, I guess I'll just have to tell my Dad that I lost 'em.
I got to get back to my tree.
See you, Rich.
Rich, do you mind?
You know, Carol Go ahead, Potsie.
Thanks, Rich.
Carol didn't want to baby sit.
Then I take her to a movie that
she's already seen twice before.
Then they were kissing up on
the screen so I had to change seats.
Then when I got back from getting the popcorn,
the kids were gone.
I handed the popcorn to the guy sitting next to me.
Then I went to Arnold's, but they weren't there.
I went to Inspiration Point, but nobody honked their horn.
I didn't know where else to look for 'em.
So that's the whole story.
Hmm. That's some story.
What does it mean?
It means that I lost Joanie and Spike.
Well, you did your best, Richard, you tried.
Dad, don't you understand?
Joanie is out there alone with Spike.
Richard, I think maybe you better come inside with me.
"Get out of jail free."
Hey, I'll save this one for my Uncle Herbie.
Hi.
Joanie, where were you?
Right here playing Monopoly.
I won ten grand.
You cheated.
Well, I tracked you to Arnold's,
but where'd you go after that?
Here. What'd you think?
I'd take her to Inspiration Point on my bicycle?
Now, you go right up to bed.
You've had a big night.
Okay. Night, Rich, night, Dad.
Thanks for taking Raymond home.
Okay, sweetheart.
You know, I think Mom wasted her talk.
He didn't even try to kiss me good night.
Not even a handshake?
Nope, he just punched me in the arm
and said, "See ya, Cunningham."
Actually, he's a very nice little kid.
I guess your, uh, date with Carol
didn't work out, huh?
Oh, it worked out fine.
For Potsie.
You know, they're probably still up at Inspiration Point?
Well, I'm sorry for what happened, Richard.
I appreciate what you tried to do.
But you know, unfortunately sometimes
family responsibilities get in the way of having fun.
Yeah.
You know, they still would have been all right
even if I'd left them alone tonight.
Well, next time Joanie has a date,
you won't have to go with them.
Oh, thanks, Dad.
I'll follow her myself.
A little trusting, a little spying
That's a father's job.
Carol, you have every reason to be mad at me.
But I like you a lot, and I'd like to make up with you
and I'll do anything I can to make it up to you
for what I did last night.
Well, I could give you another chance.
Aw, great. Richie!
Hey, Ralph.
What're you doing here?
Tonight's the intramural basketball championship game.
It's been changed to 7:30.
Yeah, but I just told Carol
Richie, you got to come; The team needs you.
It's the championship game. Aw, but Ralph.
You're the only center we have.
They need me.
I'm sorry, but I got to go They need me.
Somehow, this seems very familiar.
Wait a minute; What're you doing?
I'll mind Carol for you.
Yeah, but what about the game?
I'm a guard.
We got lots of guards.
Come on, Ralph.
I'll see you later.
See you later.
After the game!
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
You know what your problem is, Richie?
Saturday, what a day I'd like to know, Fonzie.
Groovin' all week with you! ♪
This day is ours You're a nice guy.
Won't you be mine? And nice guys finish last.
This day is ours Hey, hey, not necessarily, huh.
Oh, please be mine ♪
You just got to work your tail off
to get up there in the top three. That's all.
This day is ours ♪
These are such happy days. ♪
Hello, sunshine, good-bye rain ♪
She's wearing my school ring on the chain ♪
She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days. ♪