Platonic (2023) s02e08 Episode Script

1
[gasps]
[sighs]
Hello, old friend.
Well, I was in the garage
and guess what I came across?
Human remains?
If I'd found human remains
would I be using this voice?
[imitates fanfare]
- Oh, my God. Is that Brett Coyote?
- It is indeed.
- [chuckles]
- Who's Brett Coyote?
Well, it's a novel that I worked on
in law school
and for a little while afterwards.
- Is it about a coyote?
- No.
It's a legal thriller
about a lawyer who uncovers,
spoiler alert, a massive conspiracy.
And everyone is involved.
Is the lawyer a coyote?
- No. Coyote is just his last name.
- Is he related to coyotes?
[grunts, laughs]
Everybody is razzing Dad and he loves it.
But you know what is actually funny is,
I gave this bad boy a quick read
and it kinda holds up.
So, babe, I was wondering if, um,
you could read it too?
Oh, yeah.
It would be really useful to get
a second set of eyes on this.
Sure. But, um, why?
Well, honestly,
I think there's something to it.
And there's a world in which
maybe I can make a living out of this.
Oh, so what you want to do instead of
your job that pays a salary is, um,
- write a Brett Coyote novel?
- Well, ideally many.
Many Brett Coyote novels.
You know, there are 24 Harry Bosch novels.
So, yeah.
- So you'll read it?
- Oh, yeah.
I would, um… I'd love nothing more.
Great. Well, buckle up.
- You are in for a pretty wild ride.
- Hmm. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
- Does he at least have a pet coyote?
There are no coyotes anywhere
in the novel, Simon.
[sighs]
Okay. [imitates fanfare]
There should be a coyote.
It's incredibly misleading.
["Animal" playing]
"Brett Coyote approached Imelda carefully.
Imelda, turning away from Coyote,
exclaimed,
'What are the four elements of a claim
of tortious interference with contract?'
Coyote stared at the back of her head,
at her thick red hair,
at a woman he knew so well and yet
now worried he didn't know at all.
Barely above a whisper, Brett said,
'The four elements
of tortious interference are
intent on the defendant's part
to disrupt the economic relationship,
disruption of the relationship,
harm to the plaintiff and, finally,
a causal connection between
the wrongful act and the harm.'"
I mean, what…
what am I supposed to do with this?
I mean, I definitely know more
about the law now.
This isn't a book.
This is a brief that you submit
to the court.
It seems like the contract is
the main character?
When am I gonna read this?
I have exactly five minutes
to myself every day
where I lock the door, sit on the toilet,
and look at Net-A-Porter.
I've got an idea for you. Don't read it.
I can't. And that's so mean.
Charlie's been so supportive as I've just
flailed about all over the place.
Okay, so you're supportive
of this career change?
Fuck, no! We have a family!
He's got to drop this shit pronto,
otherwise the kids aren't going
to college.
Listen, it's just a phase.
Let it run its course.
Like diarrhea.
- [line beeping]
- Oh.
[sighs] I have to take this.
It's a work call
which I need now more than ever.
Just make sure to let me know
what happens next with Brett Coyote.
Just kidding. Please don't.
- Hi.
- [Carrie] Hey, girl.
It's Cabo Carrie. Is this Sylvia?
This is she.
Do you wanna plan a party or what, bitch?
Always, bitch.
Okay, well, it's for a pretty
high-profile client, girlina.
- Ooh.
- And I hope you like appletinis,
you nasty gal.
You're throwing a party for Mason Grand?
Well, I mean, not for him
but for the premiere of his new show.
For the Young Darcy Mysteries? Oh, my God!
- What is the Young Darcy Mysteries?
- Oh, my God, Dad.
- It's, like, the biggest show on earth.
- Okay.
Yeah. She's not wrong. It's very popular.
Oh. What… Wh-What is it?
It's a prequel to Pride and Prejudice,
but from the perspective of Mr. Darcy
when he was young.
Also Mr. Darcy is a detective, a fencer,
a boxer, a dirigible test pilot,
and an amateur chemist.
Wow. And you've seen this?
[high-pitched] Um, a bit.
Mom, we watched the whole series together.
Okay. Uh… That maybe did happen.
- Mason Grand is, like, so hot.
- Hmm.
Huh. You know, Mason Grand
might make a great Brett Coyote.
- Oh, my God. He totally would.
- [Charlie] Huh.
Mason Grand is gonna be Brett Coyote?
Well, we'll see.
First I have to finish this novel.
Yeah, then you got to publish it.
And get someone to option it.
And then get someone
to pay for the movie and…
But… But that's a great idea.
I love that idea.
Yeah. Thank you.
Hey, and I just realized this is
the first time you are throwing a party
for a client with whom
you are not personally acquainted.
- Congratulations.
- It's kinda cool, right?
Can I come? Please, Mom. Please.
Aw, we'll see, sweetie.
You know who would make
a great Brett Coyote?
Brad Pitt.
Who is that?
Really?
Ta-da!
Nice, huh? Big but not too big.
Yeah, like my dick.
- Sorry about that, ma'am.
- No worries.
Dude, I mean, this place is perfect.
Yeah. It's awesome. It's got a roof deck.
You got, like,
these crazy views of downtown.
And on a clear day,
you can see all the way to Pasadena.
Which most people don't give a fuck about.
But for some it's a draw.
Oh, for most people it's a big draw.
I mean, I think it's amazing.
This is perfect, dude.
Like, it's perfect
for the second Lucky Penny.
That whole area we saw earlier,
I can make that into
a dedicated poker room for Reggie's Game.
Know when to hold 'em.
You totally earned
your finder's fee for this, dude.
I don't want a finder's fee for this.
I want this to be my place.
I want you to lend me money
so I can open my own bar here.
But I'm not a bank.
Which is confusing
'cause I make bank. [laughs]
[laughs] I like that one.
I mean, Will, if you don't have any money,
is it cool if I just jump on it?
No. It's not cool if you jump on it.
I want this place for myself.
I got an idea.
You can manage the place when I open it.
We can get the band back together again.
It'll be like old times
when you used to work for me.
I don't wanna work for you.
I want my own place.
That's why I'm asking you
to lend me money to open my own place.
Will, who's gonna win, you know?
Like, a guy with a lot of money
or a guy with no money?
I mean, I'm rooting for you.
I love an underdog story, but…
Diane, just don't rent it to him.
Anyone but him.
I'll get the money together.
Just hold onto this for me, okay?
I am going to rent it to him.
Oh, sh…
Oh, shit. You guys totally fucked.
[chuckling] Yo.
Dude, congrats, man.
I mean, it's cool that
you guys are still friends after that.
- Yeah.
- She's my realtor.
So we're not really friends.
It's cool you guys are
business partners after that.
[Will] I mean,
I wouldn't say we're partners.
It's cool you guys are
around each other after that.
So Reggie, he realizes I can only afford
the monthly fee and not the deposit
and he swoops in,
and he completely fucks me.
And then he has the gall to offer me a job
at my own place
that he just stole from me.
- So it's partial fucking?
- Yeah.
And here's what's even more humiliating.
- I have to take that job.
- Oh, no, no, no. You can't do that.
There's a reason
that you left Lucky Penny.
You don't wanna make
that same mistake again.
But it wouldn't be the exact same mistake
'cause he said
I could be the manager this time.
What should I do? Just tell me what to do.
[stammers] I don't know. I don't
have time to discuss this right now.
I am running late for this meeting.
Do I really have to scrape the wax
off of all of these fucking tablecloths?
It's white. You can barely see this shit.
You said that you would help me,
so you do.
Can you please use a coaster? Thank you.
[Charlie] Hey.
[Sylvia] Hi, babe.
- Nice fedora.
- Oh, this? Yeah, it's my writing hat.
Actually, do you guys wanna see
something kinda cool?
- Yeah.
- [Charlie] Okay.
[smacks lips] That was cool.
- [chuckles]
- Yeah. That was super cool. Uh…
Writing ha…
I've never heard of a writing hat.
It's a thing that authors wear.
- It is?
- Yeah, some do.
- I can think of one. Charlie Greeves.
- Oh. [chuckles]
Oh, man. I wish I could hang,
but I got to get back to the machine.
[groans, chuckles]
[groans]
Did he just say… what-what… machine?
Yes, that is what he calls his laptop now.
He calls his laptop "the machine"?
That's not a thing, writing hats.
Why does he think that's a thing?
[whispers] I don't wanna talk about this.
I do. A lot.
[sighs] Our last event planner,
she quit rather suddenly.
So thank you so much for filling in.
Oh, of course.
It's such a huge opportunity.
Oh, yeah. Well, you're perfect
for the job, honestly.
And I just have to introduce you
to Mason Grand as a formality.
You know, he's a producer on the show
so he wants to feel like he's involved
in every decision. [groans]
Gotcha. [gasps] Oh. Wow. [chuckles]
[Carrie] I know. It's cool, right?
[chuckles] Um, and just remember
that every good idea, that's Mason's.
And every bad idea, that's yours, okay?
[crew chattering]
There he is. Mason, how are you?
I'm good. [sighs]
Amazing. Okay, well, um, I wanna
introduce you to our new event planner.
This is Sylvia Greeves.
- Hi.
- What's up?
Nice to meet you. And, um,
I'm such a big fan of the show.
My daughter and I, we just…
we really love it.
Chill.
And I couldn't be more excited
to be planning this party for you.
Oh, it's gonna be such a treat.
Why are you talking weird?
Oh, I'm… I'm Australian.
No. I mean, like,
why are you saying "treat" and shit?
I don't… I don't know!
- It just came into my mind. [laughs]
- [chuckles]
But, um…
Ah! You're a fan of craft beer.
Yeah, that's why
I am wearing this sweatshirt.
- That makes sense. [chuckles]
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, Mason, I'm ordering
from Kreation. Do you want anything?
[Mason] Oh, yeah.
Just get me a charcoal water.
Well, M-Mason, thank you so much
for giving us some of your time
from your busy schedule.
Yeah. [inhales sharply]
Catch you on the flip side.
- Um, that was really bad.
- But that was just a formality, right?
No. He has to like you.
I-I can't keep you on
when he doesn't like you.
[stammers] It's just… Give me a second.
Hi again. Hi, Mason.
Mr. Grand. Mason Grand.
- I'm good.
- Um, I forgot to mention
that my partner
started Lucky Penny Brewing.
What?
I said my party-planning partner is
the founder of the bar Lucky Penny.
- Are you talking about Will Zysman?
- Yes. He works for me.
Well, I'm-I'm hyped to meet him.
Yeah. Oh, he's hyped to meet you.
- He said he was hyped. [chuckles]
- [gasps] He's hyped?
- Oh, amazing. I'm hyped.
- Yes!
[fighters panting]
[gasps]
It… It isn't Emma. It's Lady Putteningham.
- How cool is that twist?
- [gasps] Wow.
[theme music plays on screen]
[Frances] I follow her on Instagram.
She has an incredible skin care line.
I think this season's definitely
better than last season.
- Storytelling is all about structure.
- Hey, guys.
Hey. Hey, babe. Did you, uh… did you
get a chance to read the new pages?
Not yet. But I will.
- How's the writing going?
- It's good. Just taking a little break.
You know, this is some
pretty sophisticated plotting.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- [sighs]
- [door closes]
[smacks lips, sighs]
Hey, mate.
Oh, I am so sorry
about rushing out earlier.
There was something you wanted to
talk to me about before I left.
I just… just wanted to
finish that conversation.
Okay. Well, Reggie is totally fucking me.
- What? I hate that guy.
- I know.
- He sucks.
- He's the worst.
He's stealing the perfect space
for the bar right out from under me.
So shitty. He's so shitty.
I fucking hate that guy. Ew.
What do you want from me?
- Dude, I dig this jacket. For real.
- Thank you.
- Is that Kapital?
- Yeah. Good eye. Yeah.
I waited in line for hours
to get this thing.
Dude, I love Lucky Penny. Man, for real.
I just fucking love it!
- It's a great spot. It's really nice.
- I know. I love it too.
- Me and my boys come here all the time.
- Nice.
I'm wondering. Are you working
on something else right now
- or what's up?
- I actually am.
I'm trying to open a spot of my own.
I'm gonna call it "Shitty Little Bar"
'cause that's what my ex said
to make fun of it.
- Aw, dude, I fucking love that.
- Yeah.
- Dude, you're fucking trolling her ass.
- Yeah.
She's gonna see that you're fucking
killing it right now. And I love that.
- I fucking… I love this guy.
- I love this guy. [laughs]
I have actually known this guy
for 20 years.
- We met in college…
- I love your laugh, man. For real.
- It's so unique. It's infectious.
- Oh.
- I-I love it.
- Thank you.
I've honestly had pretty mixed reviews
on it thrown my way.
- [chuckles]
- Why? I feel like I know you.
- It's soft. I just feel included.
- [Sylvia] Yeah.
We need more laughs
given the state of the world, right?
What does that mean?
- Current events and the news.
- All right. Anyway, I was just wondering,
if you can make the vibe of the party,
honestly, just exactly like this, dude,
- that would be perfect.
- Yeah. Why don't you just have it here?
- Are you fucking shitting me, dude? I…
- No.
- That would be dope.
- Yeah.
- Can I really? That's fucking amazing.
- I know a guy. [chuckles]
- [exclaims] "I know a guy." Holy shit.
- It's me. I'm the guy.
Yeah, I know you now.
We really should get going
- if we're gonna get back to set.
- All right.
Duty calls. I'm gonna go pretend.
- But I love you, dude. Thank you.
- Nice.
[chuckles]
Wow. Well, great job, you guys.
Congratulations.
I'll send the paperwork over
tomorrow morning.
This will be fun and a lot of work.
- But work hard, play hard. Right, mama?
- Yes, mama!
[chuckles] I don't have kids
so don't do that.
Love you, bitch!
He was rude.
No, he wasn't.
- What?
- He wasn't rude.
- Yes, he was.
- No, he wasn't.
He's a celebrity.
He's maybe a little self-involved.
He was actually a lot cooler
than I thought he would be.
Uh, he was nice to you,
but he was rude to me.
No. Me and him hit it off
'cause we have a lot in common
and you and him
didn't really connect that much.
That doesn't mean he's rude.
It just means he likes me more than you.
I… I'm very likable.
People flock to me. It's…
I did exactly what you asked me to here.
You cannot get mad at me for this.
You're right. You're right.
And there is a thing that is traditional
to say to someone in this situation,
I believe.
Thank you.
That was acceptable.
I'll take that thank you.
- It's gonna be fun.
- It's gonna be great.
- It's gonna be a fun party.
- [inhales sharply, clears throat]
[sighs]
[sighs deeply]
[yawning] Oh, God.
[sighs]
[sighs]
Oh, please, no. [sighs]
I'll give you 50 bucks
if you read Dad's manuscript
- and you tell me what happens.
- What?
I said I'll give you 50 bucks
if you read Dad's manuscript
and you tell me what happens.
No, thank you. But I will take 50 bucks
to not tell Dad what you just asked me.
What are you talking about?
I said I'll give you 50 bucks
if you read Dad's manuscript
and you tell me what happens.
Damn, you're good.
- I learned from the best.
- Aw. Thanks, babe.
I take Apple Pay.
Fine.
So, Stewart,
what did you think of my book, honestly?
- Honestly, I love Brett Coyote.
- You do?
I love it. I loved him in law school
and I love him now.
I-I know this draft is a little bit dense.
There was a fair amount of legalese.
Gotcha. I'm gonna strip a lot of that out.
But the character is so fun,
and the world, and the plot turns.
I did not expect
that the paralegal was the mole.
Right?
But when I went back and looked at it,
it all made sense.
- You went back?
- Yeah, I read it twice.
- Goddamn it. [sighs]
- What's wrong? What?
I gave Sylvia a copy of the book
the day before I gave a copy to you,
and I don't think she's read any of it.
Well, she's in for a hell of a ride.
I found it on the back
of the downstairs toilet,
- opened to page four.
- What?
At this rate she'll finish it
in three months.
Maybe propulsive, character-driven legal
detective thrillers aren't her thing.
I don't understand how you
can support me and Sylvia can't.
I support everything she does.
I know this whole writing thing is…
[inhales sharply] …is crazy,
but I need her to support me.
I need her to tell me
that this is a good idea.
Hey. Creating an iconic character
who can anchor dozens of legal thrillers,
- that is a good idea.
- Yeah.
And how hard is it to read 200 pages?
You know what? I'm done. I'm done waiting.
I am done asking for permission.
I am done with everything
except doing what I want,
when I want, however I wanna do it.
That is so Brett Coyote.
Yeah, well, you know, he's, uh,
based on me a little bit.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You wanna know what every author needs?
Oh, I don't think Sylvia wants a dog.
[scoffs] Let's look at some dogs.
Hey, Mom. Can I recite
the Gettysburg Address for you?
- All right.
- "Four score and seven years ago"…
Hey, Mom. Can I get a ride
to Manhattan Beach tonight?
Tonight? No, no, it's too late.
Do you like my nails?
- I painted them with Sharpie.
- What?
Hey, babe. I had some huge
breakthroughs today with Brett Coyote.
- Hi.
- Hi. Can you believe it?
- I wrote 40 pages.
- Wow.
Now I need to find a way for Coyote
to file an injunction
against Viper Industries, even though…
Oh, my God! There's a dog.
There's a dog in the house. A stray dog.
Yeah. No, no. We're fostering him.
What? What?
Did you not think to run this past me?
That's what fostering is.
It's like renting a car.
- We're gonna call him Watson.
- What? [stammers] Why?
- Because of Sherlock.
- Why not call him Sherlock?
Because I am Sherlock.
- [dog barking]
- Jessipa wants to ride Watson.
No, no. Jessipa the lizard
is not gonna ride Watson.
- I'm gonna go to the toilet upstairs…
- Please?
Oh, hey,
but you're gonna read these pages?
- Yes, I will do my best.
- Excellent. Thank you.
- You did really good.
- "That nation or any nation
- so conceived and so dedicated can…"
- [Sylvia] Don't follow me. Not up here.
I asked for the string lighting
in addition to the basic package.
Yeah, I wanted the feel
to be more intimate.
I have the email right in front of me
where I asked for the string lighting.
Okay. Well, then I'm gonna
take my business elsewhere.
That's what I thought.
Thank you very much.
You asked and you got.
- Come on. Are you kidding me?
- Okay. Let's not…
You're a living example
of "don't ask, don't get."
I just saw it happen. [chuckles]
Oh, Mason wanted to make sure
that there's Single Village mezcal
at the party.
Oh. Why's he asking you that?
I don't know.
He just texted me and asked me.
You started, like,
a back channel with him?
I didn't start a back channel with him.
[chuckles]
You told him that we're partners.
So he texted me and asked me.
Okay.
Well, yeah, put me on the text chain.
You want me to put you on the text chain?
- I need to be across all these decisions.
- Okay.
It's a little bit like butting into
a conversation that you're not a part of.
But I guess I'm gonna do it.
- Yo, adding Sylvia.
- Come on.
- Here we go. Boom.
- Thank you. I need to be on this chain.
- I should've been in the first place.
- You should've.
Why didn't you put me on?
Why do I have to ask?
Here we go.
"So excited to be working together!"
- All capitals, exclamation mark.
- Yeah. I'm pumping it up.
"If you need anything,
feel free to give me a ring!"
- All capitals, exclamation mark.
- I'm being professional and enthusiastic.
You're screaming
at the top of your lungs. This is crazy.
- It's enthusiasm.
- [chuckles]
What? What?
Mason just texted me, "Who's Sylvia?"
- Come on. He did not.
- [chuckles] He did.
- He's met me twice now.
- I'm sorry.
- I don't know what to tell you. [laughs]
- [phone buzzes]
- What? What are you laughing at?
- It's nothing. It's nothing. It's…
It's a meme. He sends memes.
- He loves memes.
- Give me… I need to see this.
- Give me your phone. Yes, I do.
- You wanna see the meme?
Jesus Christ. Okay.
It's just stupid memes.
Oh, my God.
He sent you, like, dozens of these.
[Will] Tons of memes.
Pretty funny memes too sometimes.
- Really? You think that's funny?
- Yes. I do.
- That's SpongeBob teabagging Squidward.
- [groans]
- What's not funny about that?
- Come on.
- That's objectively funny.
- What?
Come on. Are you kidding me? [chuckles]
Why are you taking this so personally?
Can you explain to me exactly
what isn't personal about this loser
completely ignoring me and literally
not remembering my name
after several face-to-face meetings?
Look, you are being too sensitive.
He's treating me like his assistant,
asking me for mezcal.
Would you rather
he treated you like his assistant?
I find it very interesting
that you're able to be friends
- with this absolute asshole.
- He's not an asshole.
- He is.
- He's a fucking kid, okay?
- [phone beeps]
- [chuckles]
- What? What is it?
- It's another meme.
- Come on.
- Show it to me.
Okay, look. It's a nun.
It says, "Zero fucks given."
'Cause nuns, you know, they don't fuck.
Okay, that's funny. Send that to me.
Mason Grand. How sexy is he in person?
Did you hear what I just said?
He is a sexist piece of shit.
That sucks.
Especially because Young Darcy
is such a feminist.
It's gonna ruin the show for me.
And meanwhile,
Will's acting like I'm the crazy one
for wanting a modicum
of respect from this jerk.
Of course Will's not gonna understand.
Guys never do. And he gets to
be friends with a celebrity.
[sighs] What should I do?
Nothing. Just take the money and run.
- Oh!
- Yeah.
Look what just came in.
- "Don't ask. Don't get."
- Yeah. What is that?
That is my "Don't Ask. Don't Get" tote.
I'm giving it out to guests
on my Boss Mama pod.
And I'm selling it to raise awareness.
For what?
You name it.
[patrons chattering]
Buddy, thank you so much again for this.
- It's incredible.
- Why, thank you.
- It's fun.
- [clears throat loudly, coughs]
- Thank you as well, Reggie. For so much.
- You're welcome.
I mean, having Young Darcy Mysteries here,
that shit is fire for the brand.
Why are you obsessed with that shit, man?
It's so fucking weird.
Yo, you don't work here anymore, okay?
You can't emotionally abuse me
all the time.
Now I'm a paying customer
so I actually have more right
to emotionally abuse you than ever.
- Dude. Dude!
- Hey! Hey, what's up, man?
- Fantastic party.
- Mason, what's good? What's good, man?
- Oh, shit! That's a cool watch.
- Yeah, Jacob & Co.
I'm just rocking my Panerai right now.
But, uh, my main piece…
Richard Mille RM 30.
Oh, my… That's my grail watch.
That's incredible.
- I'm actually rocking my nana's Timex.
- You know, usually, these events are so,
like, corporate and lame and I'm here
for five minutes then I get out of here.
- But this, I actually wanna be here.
- Nice.
So, this is like absolutely my thing.
You nailed this vibe. Thank you so much.
Oh, I mean, honestly all I did was
bring the mezcal.
Sylvia threw this whole event.
She organized everything.
- Uh, the whole vibe was kind of…
- Okay, my reps are here.
So, I'm getting out of here.
But dude, legend.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Thank you. [chuckles]
Thank you for the time.
Yo!
- I think that was directed at both of us.
- Don't.
It definitely wasn't.
It was only directed at you.
But when he noticed my watch,
that was all me, dawg.
- [sighs]
- Me and you.
- Great guy. That is awesome, dude.
- He's pretty cool.
Excuse me.
You seriously pulled this
out of your ass, you little slut.
Sorry, I've had like
four too many Ranch Waters.
- Hmm. Cabo Carrie.
- Cabo Carrie. [chuckles]
But seriously, thank you.
I know that this was not easy.
Yeah, I mean… [clears throat]
You know, Mason can be tricky.
Yeah, I mean, he's a sexist piece of shit.
Right? I mean,
you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, I mean, I'm technically his boss
- and he keeps asking me to get him candy.
- [scoffs]
Also, like, why do you think
our last party planner quit?
- Oh, my God. Yeah, to Mason Grand.
- To Mason Grand.
Ooh.
Is that little fucker single?
Uh, honestly, I don't know.
Well, honestly, I don't care.
[Sylvia] This is the merch.
I'm planning on putting it in the back
and then production will pick it up.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for cutting me
into this whole thing.
Also, I will be out of your ADU very soon
- because something huge just happened.
- Ooh, what?
Me and Mason are going
into business together.
He wants to invest in Shitty Little Bar.
[scoffs] You're really gonna go
into business with that misogynist?
The fuck does that mean?
Are you kidding me?
What a hypocritical thing… You're working
for him literally right this second.
I'm throwing him one party.
That's different from going
into a partnership with him.
It's not a partnership.
He's just the money guy.
No money guy is good.
You think any guy with money is good?
He's just backing the bar, that's all.
- Don't put that on me.
- I don't care.
Go into business with him. But at least,
like, admit that he's a misogynist.
He's not a misogynist.
He's just, like, a young dude
- who sends stupid fucking memes.
- Okay.
Look at him right now. He's with a girl.
She seems very, you know,
pretty happy with that situation.
Ew. Come on. I promise you,
you will regret teaming up with this guy.
I'm not teaming up with him.
I'm actually doing a very good deed.
I'm using his money
to bring artisanal beer
to people who wanna pay me for it.
[sighs]
It's like… I can't work at Lucky Penny.
I can't go into business with Mason.
I can't date anyone you know.
You wanna control
every single aspect of my life.
It really feels like what you want is
for me to be your indentured servant
living in that ADU whose only job is
to listen to you complain about shit.
Uh, you have no idea
how much I don't want that.
I just feel like you don't respect me
very much. Or my choices.
- I don't have respect for your choices?
- Yes.
This is my job.
You just came here, camped out
- and used it to your own advantage.
- You asked me to do this with you!
Just admit that the guy is a misogynist.
I will not do that.
As far as I'm concerned, he does more
for women than a lot of women do.
Who do you think watches the show?
Women. He's doing it for the women.
Okay, I'm done here.
I'll meet you at the front in 20 minutes.
Actually, I'm staying.
Me and Mason and his crew,
- we're gonna join Reggie's Game tonight.
- Yeah, of course you are.
Remember not to rape anybody.
That's not a thing I need to remember.
[Reggie] Mason, I wanna thank you and
your homies for coming to Reggie's Game.
But nobody post anything, okay?
Because it's mad illegal.
[Mason] Yeah, for sure.
Dude, thanks for having us.
Seriously, I've been a fan
of Lucky Penny for a long time, brother.
Really?
Mi casa es su casa.
We have it all set up for you guys.
We got a bunch of food and booze.
We got, uh, sliders, nachos,
goat cheese balls on the menu.
Goat cheese balls. Goat cheese balls.
Matt's a stand-up. He's always
coming up with the funniest shit.
- Oh, cool.
- Yeah.
I get to see the creative process at work.
What's a… What's another sex food?
Uh, bananas.
- Nah, too gay.
- Totally, dude.
Wait, wait. What about like,
uh, battered shrimp. Right?
Like, believe all shrimp? [laughs]
Or maybe there's like, uh,
a Shrimp Special Victims Unit
and it's like, "Oh, no,
we just found a plate of all these shrimp.
- And they've got daddy issues." [laughs]
- [all laughing]
What do you think of that? [chuckles]
Yeah, no, it's, uh, very edgy material.
And I'm glad you all… [chuckles]
I'm glad you all like it.
Yeah, it's, uh… it's very clever.
- This dude thinks this shit is offensive.
- [chuckles]
- Uh-oh.
- No, I don't.
That's the thing about comedy, man.
It's not offensive if it's funny.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Cool.
- He's like an equal opportunity offender.
- Great.
- Yeah, sex offender. [laughs]
- [all laugh]
[laughs] That is so Reggie's Game.
Ah, man. Dude, you can't say shit
anymore these days, for real.
But you… fucking cancel me.
Who gives a fuck? I don't care.
Tell that to Mr. Politically Correct
over here.
Look how offended he looks.
- Uh-oh. Did we cross a line, man?
- I'm not…
- Did we hurt your feelings?
- No. I don't… I… [stammers]
- Are you part of the woke police?
- Yeah, I am.
He's like a major sergeant in a woke army.
- [laughing]
- [laughs] Yeah, he is.
[Mason] Yes, dude, he is!
I'm sorry.
[group continues laughing]
["Whatta Man" playing]
Yo, thanks for bringing
those guys over here.
They're, like, so rad.
Yeah. [sighs]
And Mason Grand is gonna finance
your bar? That's sick, bro.
Uh, yeah, honestly,
I can't, in good conscience,
work with that fucking guy.
Thank you. I mean, he sucks.
He's like a borderline Proud Boy. [sighs]
Yeah, he fucking sucks.
Look, if you'll have me,
I would love to come back
and work here at Lucky Penny.
Will, I would love that.
You're like family to me, man.
[mouthing words] Thank you.
You okay?
I've just had a bit of a rough go at it
these days.
Will, come here.
I'd rather not.
- I'll go over there.
- Okay. Great.
Come here.
It's okay.
[Will] This actually feels good.
This is what Reggie's Game is all about.
You know, there's an epidemic
of loneliness among men.
- I heard that on a podcast.
- Well…
You smell like perfume, bro.
I made out with Cabo Carrie.
- Nice.
- Yeah, yeah. I really like her.
Yeah, she seems great.
You know, if you ever see her again,
can you ask her about me?
- Yeah, definitely. First thing I'll do.
- Sick.
Hey, babe. How was the party?
You know what, it went really well.
Oh, that's wonderful.
Hey, um… I have a question for you.
- Actually, never mind.
- No, please. What is it?
Do you think it's bad storytelling
if Brett Coyote overhears
Vic Viper and the paralegal
discussing the bribery plot
just because he's walking
down the hallway at the right moment?
I don't think so. Especially since
those two have been plotting nonstop
ever since the fallout
from the Rebozo affair.
- You read it.
- Inhaled it is more like it.
[chuckles]
I knew you'd like it.
But thank you. That means a lot to me.
- Um, I gotta get back to this.
- Okay.
I'm… I'm kinda in the zone.
- Do your thing.
- Be up in a minute.
Okay.
Okay.
If I'd known how boring
Dad's book was gonna be,
I would have charged you
more than 50 bucks to read it for you.
A deal's a deal, buddy. And remember
this is just between us, okay?
Can't tell Dad about it.
Obviously, Mom. I know how a bribe works.
- Okay.
- Can I use this to buy God of War?
Absolutely not.
That sounds incredibly violent.
If you don't let me,
I'll tell Dad about this whole thing.
- Okay, fine.
- Okay.
[Sylvia] Fine.
["Murdergram Deux" playing]