The Artful Dodger (2023) s02e08 Episode Script

[dramatic music playing]
-Bring the carriage!
-[Lady Jane groaning]
Darling, are you hurt? Where does it hurt?
Out of the way! Out of the way!
-Take me to my bedroom at once!
-You need a hospital.
[stutters] Aren't you coming?
Belle, I've sent battalions
into cannon fire, yet with this,
I'd be helpless.
But you and Dawkins aren't.
Save her. [voice shaking] Please.
I will. I promise you.
-[indistinct chatter]
-[cheering in the distance]
-[lively music playing]
-[people cheering]
[in sing-song voice] Who's the
richest man in the colony? Say ♪
[all] Norbert Fagin! ♪
-Who made 15,000 in one day? ♪
-[all] Norbert Fagin! ♪
-[groaning] Oh, no!
-[Rotty] Oh, you old goat,
you'll break your pate
if you ain't more cautious.
If I break me skull, I'll buy another one.
I'll buy another two!
No, you may have 15,000 on paper,
but Uriah ain't paid it yet.
And if he don't pay it,
that'll leave a total of zero pounds
-to cover your ever-increasing bar bill.
-Stop being such a misery, Rotty.
Look, I'll tell you what I'll do.
Another round on the house!
[all cheering]
Oh! The stinkiest marmot in London town
Was racin' around me dressing gown ♪
All right. All right.
Things was looking up
'Till the sun went down ♪
And me nose turned red
And my kecks turned brown ♪
-Here we go!
-[Rotty laughing]
-Lady Fanny!
-[Fagin laughs]
It's your mother.
[tense music playing]
[dramatic music playing]
[carriage driver urging horses]
[hooves rumbling]
[opening theme music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
Hetty, there's no more morphia.
There's an emergency supply
in Sneed's office
but it'll only last a day, maybe two.
We have to start rationing treatment.
-Deciding who lives and dies is God's job.
-Well, today, it is ours.
Sneed. Sneed!
-I need access to--
-There's so much death.
-[pensive music playing]
-What's the point, Jack?
They all just die.
The point
The point, Rainsford, is it is our job.
I need you to authorise
restricted treatment.
We help children first before adults.
Many don't want treatment.
So many die,
they think the hospital's killing them.
Well, then we need to show them
that it is safe.
And we need to find a bloody cure.
-Jack! Jack!
-[Lady Jane groaning]
Dawkins, you take Lady Jane.
I'll oversee the rest.
-[sighs] I know she's been awful to you--
-She's your mother.
-We need a cure.
-I know.
But few people aren't lasting
long enough to even attempt a cure,
and now half the ward
is refusing treatment altogether
because of some superstition.
-She's not accepting treatment either.
-No, you need to treat the others, not me.
-M'lady, let me speak plainly.
-[groaning]
You are dying.
Now you can choose to do that at home
-[breathing heavily]
-alone,
or you can choose to serve your town
with your example.
Show your people
that our treatments are safe.
[groaning] And if your treatment fails?
Well, then, you die.
But you are dying anyway.
This is a chance.
A chance to save your life and your town.
Why am I listening to a convict?
Because I'm also a bloody good doctor.
And you are my patient.
[breathing heavily] Yeah. All right.
-[groans]
-I will give you my best bed.
There's a lovely view of the morning sun.
[breathing deeply]
[Fanny] Belle?
[sighing]
[sombre music playing]
Ma'am, I need the Professor.
It's a matter of urgency.
-In his room.
-[Boxer] Thank you.
All right. I want everything we know
on the matter, no matter how obscure.
Other than morphia, calomel,
what else is working to stem the disease?
Venesection worked well in London.
Why are we bleeding them
when they're already losing fluids?
Well, it helps stimulate blood flow,
eases clogging around the heart.
There's also salt-bush tea.
Alinta brought it from the Elbow.
If patients can keep it down, it helps,
but most can't.
I think you're all right, in pieces.
Prof, when you bleed the patient,
how does the blood present?
I'll show you.
[Dodger] Hetty, would you roll up
his sleeve, please?
[Hetty] Certainly.
[suspenseful music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
[squelching]
[Belle] It's cyanotic.
The blood's too dark and too thick,
which means it's lacking something.
-But if we find out what
-The blood might lead us to a cure.
I can help you with that.
[Belle] Yes. A serum-specific gravity test
should tell us what is missing.
[suspenseful music intensifies]
Professor!
Make way, please, ladies. Professor!
Professor!
-[groaning] I'm so sorry.
-No. It's nothing. Don't worry.
I live with Fagin, so
-[sighing]
-[softly] There you go.
[groaning]
[Dodger] Is this where you were?
[Lady Jane] "Romans 6:23."
[sighs] "For the wages of sin is death."
Why are you being so kind to me?
I'm your doctor.
-You want something.
-[Dodger] No.
My daughter.
Her attentions
have turned to Boxer now, so
you don't need to worry about me
tarnishing her anymore.
-Really? So then why--
-[Dodger] Like I said, I'm your doctor.
And you are unwell.
[Darius] Go on, then,
what have you got for me?
Fagin faked the explosion with this.
That cheatin' dog-eared bastard,
-I knew he was up to some--
-Uh-uh.
I want my cash.
Go get it.
Ya mucky little Judas.
[sighs softly]
[Uriah] Hmm.
Never thought to see one as humble as I
dining with a Duke.
-If Mother could only see it.
-[Dickie laughs]
Now, I want my sodding ships docked,
Your Grace.
So [sighs] I need you
to get your brother or his wife
to open them ports.
Yes, well, that may be difficult.
They're stubborn, you see?
They're refusing to open the ports
until there's no further sign of cholera
in the colony.
[chuckling] Well, I need you
to find a way.
I need to load Mr Fagin's saltpetre
onto my ships.
No point. There is no saltpetre.
Fagin faked the explosion.
Your supplier is a crook.
[tense music playing]
[Uriah] That places me in a most
unfortunate position, doesn't it, my lord?
If there's no saltpetre,
the company will look to me
for the delay in arms supply
to the brave lads fightin'
wherever they're fightin'.
So, you get me them ports open today
so I can leave this sinful colony
of wickedness and thievery,
or I'll take you home
in my picklin' barrel.
Right.
Right.
[inhales, blows raspberry]
[chuckles softly]
And what does the Church want?
I want Fagin dead.
I'm happy to kill him for you,
if that would help.
But you're a man of the cloth.
So I can forgive my own sins.
Which, hopefully, will include
a little bit of murder.
[sighs]
[door opens]
[Lady Jane breathing heavily]
Fanny, darling, would you get me
some more pillows, please?
Yes, of course.
-Janey.
-Leave me, Richard.
Gladly.
Once you open the ports.
Oh, you know I can't
until the threat of cholera ends.
But I'm afraid you must,
or I tell Belle the truth.
[suspenseful music playing]
The blood's too thick.
What's it lacking?
You can do this.
[patients coughing]
[Boxer] Have you searched
-the entire hospital?
-Yes, sir.
[Boxer] There's no way he could have left.
We have men everywhere.
Unless
Tell Bramwell he's in command here.
Help the nurses with the dead.
[constable] Yes, sir.
[suspenseful music continues]
[music fades]
[Lady Jane] Fanny, darling.
[breathing heavily]
Do you like your uncle?
No. Is that very bad?
[softly] No.
I need your help
to draw up some documents.
[mouths] Okay.
[indistinct chatter]
[panting]
I feel terrible, Mr Fagin.
Oh, we all feel terrible, Smike.
You shouldn't be drinking so much
at your age anyway.
I mean, a few pints is all right.
But look, get some of that pie
down your gullet.
You'll feel bright as a brass button.
I told Darius
that your saltypete explosion was a fake.
-Did ya?
-[Smike] I'm so sorry.
Did you get paid?
[panting] Yeah.
Well, you were just lookin' after
number one.
There's no shame in that.
I always said you had potential.
It does, however,
land me in an horrible spot of bother.
I didn't want 'em to hurt you,
but they're gonna kill you.
Right.
You see, I can't say
that's not a nuisance.
Now get off me pie.
And pull yourself together, ya misery!
They're coming.
[rock music playing,
Wolfmother "Joker and the Thief"]
-Right, out the back!
-Bloody hell.
Where's Norbert Fagin?
I said the joker is a wanted man ♪
He makes his way all across the land ♪
See him sifting through the sand ♪
Split up!
-Wait, Flashy!
-Come on!
-I've got a stitch.
-Hurry!
[groaning] Oh, it's brutal!
[Flashbang] Fagin?
Fagin?
-Got you, ya little shit.
-[grunting]
[laughing] Ah, ah, ah, ah.
[whimpering]
-Let's go find Fagin, shall we?
-[groans]
[suspenseful music playing]
-[footsteps receding]
-[indistinct chatter in the distance]
It's hard to feel.
[weakly] Tell me
when I'm close to death.
You are now, M'lady.
I need to see my Belle.
[softly] Where is she
with those damn test results?
Here. Gravitometric testing of the blood
per Herman and Jaenichen's method
revealed an abnormally high density.
Chemical analysis using O'Shaughnessy's
procedure revealed deficiencies in
-sodium chloride and bicarbonate levels.
-Words.
-Her blood needs more salt and water.
-She needs to drink saline.
-She won't keep it down.
-[sighing] We know what she needs,
we just need her body to accept it.
Perhaps we could devise something
to push past her oesophagus and down.
[Dodger] No, there's no time.
We'll throw it into her vein.
Directly into her blood.
-[Belle] Intravenous?
-Yes.
No. No, we never do that
and for good reason.
We change her blood-water ratio too much,
she'll die of osmotic shock.
It's the last roll of her dice.
[Lady Jane] Do it. [groans]
Are you sure?
Were you sure when you cut my daughter?
No.
[solemn music playing]
It was the only chance to save her.
And the same is true now.
[Lady Jane] Then, proceed.
Well, how much are you going to put in?
-About four pints?
-Yes, I'd say so.
-Four pints? Not ounces?
-Do you trust me?
[softly] Yes.
Four pints.
Start the flow.
Now, everyone give me privacy
with Lady Belle.
[sombre music playing]
[inhales deeply]
I need to tell you something.
[Darius] Fagin!
-[hens clucking]
-[Flashbang groaning]
[tense music playing]
[Darius] Fagin!
Fagin!
Come out, come out, wherever you are!
-Settle down.
-[Flashbang groaning]
[suspenseful music playing]
[exhaling]
-[footsteps approaching]
-[Alistair] Rainsford.
[Sneed] What are you doing
down here, Professor?
Never mind, just grab some blood basins
and help me--
-[squelching]
-[groaning]
Rainsford, my dear boy,
come with me, I shall look after the pain.
[groaning]
There is no priest.
No.
[Lady Jane] So you must take
my confession.
-No, Mother, I'm afraid--
-No, you must. It pertains to you.
Tell me.
The Governor is not your father.
Who is?
-Your Uncle Dickie.
-[breath shuddering]
That's why he's here? [inhales sharply]
I met him when I was 19.
He was dashing. Handsome.
He swept me into something
that I thought was love,
and he proposed at the Venetian Ball. I
gave in to his advances.
It only happened once.
I expected our wedding to follow,
but he kept on delaying.
I was frantic.
Terrified.
Then he fled to Ceylon and never returned.
He broke off the engagement
and he left me ruined,
fallen, swelling with you.
[sobbing] Yet, even in the horror
of those days,
I would think of you
growing inside me,
and my heart would lift.
[sobbing]
Before [sniffles]
I started to show,
my mother married me off
to Dickie's kindly,
unsuspecting brother.
[softly] Father.
[melancholy music playing]
Does he know?
[softly] No.
[softly] How could you?
I I was young. I thought I was in love.
How could you pull Jack and I apart
after what you've done? [inhales]
I saw you repeating my history
and I wanted to protect you, darling.
And not let the world harm you
as it had harmed me.
[whispers] It was
the happiest thing in my life.
[softly] Belle, please.
Please try to understand.
I do.
I do. I understand you now.
Thank you, darling.
My darling.
Now, please, please
never tell your father.
[sighs]
[gasps]
[Lady Jane gasps softly] Edmund.
-Oh, my love. I--
-Janey, hush.
[voice shaking] Hush, Janey.
I've always known.
And I've loved you all the more for it.
[kisses]
And I've loved our Belle as my own.
I will always be your daughter.
Always.
-[sighs]
-[Belle sniffles]
Janey, why did you tell her
after all this time?
Why did it matter?
Dickie blackmailed me.
[whimpers] I wanted her
to know from me first.
-I'll knock his damned head off.
-[Lady Jane] No, darling.
Stay with me, please.
He'll get his comeuppance.
[Belle] Mother.
Mother, your cheeks are pink.
Jack!
Jack, it worked!
[Flashbang groans]
He's down here somewhere, Mr Heep.
I can smell him.
You better get out here, Fagin
or I will shoot this runt.
Fagin!
-We've gotta get Flashy.
-No!
He'll shoot your bleedin' head off.
We need a plan.
[gasping] Bloody hell! What is that?
My plan.
-I'll cover ya.
-[Aputi] What?
-[all clamouring]
-[dramatic music playing]
-[gun clicking]
-[groans]
-[squealing]
-[crackers bursting]
Now! Run! Go! Go!
Flashy!
[groans]
-[animal grunts]
-[gunshot]
We gotta get the old man.
[Rotty] Come on.
[exhales]
[groans]
Ah! [laughing]
-[groans]
-[Aputi] Three, two,
-one!
-[dramatic music intensifies]
-[both whimper]
-[Darius laughs]
[music fades]
Prof! What are you doing?
"You became a drunk,
"and now you're sober and a wreck.
"No need for you to operate. Ever."
-Remember saying that?
-I'm sorry.
-I remember it clearly.
-I'm sorry. Please.
But look, I have good news.
You'll be proud of how adept I've become
at abdominal surgeries. [chuckles]
-All's the better for no drink.
-What are you doing? Please.
Please, just let me go, Professor.
This isn't you!
Yes, quite right.
I was a brilliant man.
And when my son died, grief clouded me.
And when I blinked awake,
I found myself diminished.
And you'd all moved on
to abdominal surgeries.
Complexities I'd never mastered.
If you'd asked, we would've taught you.
-Taught me?
-Yes.
You mocked me!
No, I couldn't ask you.
You'd have pushed me
out of the hospital altogether.
My brother needs me.
He has cancer of the stomach,
and it needs to be resected.
Let me help you. Uh
We'll operate on him together. You and me.
[sighs softly]
No, I don't trust you with him.
It has to be me.
-So I must practice.
-Professor, please.
I have patients to care for!
Our hospital needs me!
[screaming]
Please, please!
-[Boxer] Professor!
-[Sneed screaming]
[Boxer] Open this damn door!
[tense music playing]
[Sneed] Please!
[Alistair grunts]
[objects clattering]
[Boxer groaning]
Bad knee, is it?
[screams]
[Alistair] And you, Inspector Boxer,
just as dismissive of me as the others.
You overlooked me, too.
Just a doddering old fool, eh?
Not even worthy of suspicion.
That was careless.
-[Boxer grunts]
-[groaning]
[thuds]
[groaning, gasping]
[Fanny] Oh, Mother,
you're looking so much better.
-Thank you, all my dreams.
-Dodge!
Fagin, not now!
I need your help!
[Dodger whispers] Get out!
-I'm with a patient.
-It's life and death.
-It's all bloody life and death!
-Dodge, please.
I need you to kill me.
Where is he? Where's Fagin?
Bastard ran off.
Right. Well, I'll do you a trade.
Your lives for his.
-That sound fair to you, Mr Heep?
-[Uriah] The company will allow it.
I must take a head with me.
Mr Fagin's would be preferable,
but one of these three will do.
Lovely.
Well, take me to him.
I just need something
to slow me heart down a few ticks,
-make it look like I'm dead.
-[Dodger] What are you wittering about?
Like some kind of medicine
or, I don't know, magic potion.
A magic potion?
Yeah, you know,
like that Romeo and Juliet.
Potion making.
It's the only way I can get Cracksworth
and that feculent belly-pisser
off me back. They've gone doolally, Dodge.
They're shootin' up the Elbow.
I don't have time for this imbecility.
I've got Lady Jane circling the drain.
I've a cholera epidemic.
I'm tryin' to keep this hospital together
with my bare hands,
and you want me to fake your death?
If you don't kill me, Dodge,
I'm a dead man.
So if you could fit it in,
that would be very much appreciated.
After all, you do owe me.
-Owe you?
-Yes.
I don't owe you a brass farthing.
I have been there for you ever since
I found you cringin' in the snow!
I nicked you from the Reaper that night.
Woke up in the mornin' with a hangover
and a stinky little squawker
crawlin' all over me floor.
And now, you're tellin' me you're too busy
to assist with a simple ask,
you ungrateful snotter,
when I've been your rock.
When I've been your constant!
Yeah, a constant rock in my shoe!
-[Fagin gasps]
-You are a feckless, greedy crook!
All you've done for me is ruin any chance
I had of a future with Belle!
But I don't need you anymore, Fagin.
I don't want you.
[sombre music playing]
Janey. Feeling a bit better, are we?
-Let's not pretend you care.
-[chuckles softly]
A port-opening order
and a promissory note for £20,000.
I will need your signature
to confirm receipt.
Marvellously kind.
[scribbles]
Goodbye, Janey.
I doubt we'll ever see each other again.
I suspect that's true.
I hope you die alone and unloved.
[Dickie] Hmm.
-[grunts]
-[Dickie groans]
You You rogue!
Don't go anywhere near my wife
and my daughters again.
Oh, I shan't. £20,000 will see to that.
Confession to criminal blackmail
of a Viceregal official. Mummy.
And your agreement to leave the colony
at once on pains of death.
You vicious little witch!
You said it was a receipt.
Well, you should've read it
more carefully.
And you shouldn't have been
so beastly to Mama.
-[Fanny grunts]
-[Dickie groans]
I killed Phineas and I'll kill you, too,
if you touch me again.
[groans, breathing heavily]
You're mad!
You're all mad!
Belle, don't let them do this to me.
[sighs]
Father, is your hand all right?
Oh. Yes, it's quite worth it, darling.
-[both chuckle]
-[door opens]
-The Duke is banished from the colony.
-[Dickie] Edders?
Put him out on his ear, Constable.
Edders.
Edders.
-[shouting] Edders!
-[chuckles]
[footsteps approaching]
[Fagin] Did you mean them things
you said before? [sighs softly]
You don't need me?
You don't want me around?
Yes.
Right.
Well, I'll tell you what,
you do me this one last small favour,
and I'll never ask you
for anything else ever again.
It'll be goodbye for good.
Are you sure you want this?
I've never made it before,
so there's a chance you won't wake up.
Well, it's either this
or me head in a pickle-pot.
[chuckles softly]
[fabric shuffling]
Come on.
Do it!
I wish I'd never seen
your mucky infant face.
-[groans softly, exhales]
-[solemn music playing]
[breathing heavily]
I'm not so sure about this now.
What does it say on that bottle?
Goodbye, Fagin.
[melancholy music playing]
[bottle clatters]
[Lady Jane] I think we need to spend
a lot more time together, as a family.
[Fanny] And celebrate you being better.
It worked. [chuckles softly]
Well done, Lieutenant.
We have a cure for cholera, Hetty.
[Fanny] And let's have cake.
Gather as many intravenous drips
as you can.
Already doing it.
Ever since you had the idea,
we bet you'd come through.
[Fanny] We could even
bake it together, right?
-[Lady Jane] Well
-[all chuckling]
I think what would be nice
is a big roast chicken dinner
-with all the trimmings.
-[Governor] Yeah.
[melancholy music continues]
[indistinct chatter]
[sailors singing indistinctly]
[singing continues]
[Dodger] Hey, lads.
You need a surgeon-lieutenant?
We do, as it happens.
Our sawbones died of the cholera.
I served on the Bellerophon
at Sevastopol.
I'm sure the Captain
would be glad of you, sir.
-When do you sail?
-The Dolphin sails on the high tide.
[Hetty] Jack!
You're leaving? [panting]
Hetty, I'm sorry. I just
Belle and I, our worlds are just
too different. And I see that now.
Please don't do this, Jack.
We need you here.
It will always be too painful for me here.
I I'm gonna miss you, very much.
And I you.
You are one of the best things
about this place.
[melancholy music continues]
[Governor] Are you comfortable?
I am very comfortable. I am, darling.
Here, Mother. Calomel and chalk.
It'll help with the nausea.
Thank you, darling.
[sighing] Oh.
Mother.
-Belle.
-[Belle] Hmm?
I'm sorry for what happened
between you and Dr Dawkins.
And
For what I did to cause the rift
between you and Dr Dawkins.
[softly] Thank you.
Well, I've spoken to your father, and--
Yes, given Dr Dawkins' service
in saving the town, and my beloved wife
I hereby issue him full pardon.
[sobbing] Father. Thank you.
[sobs]
[Lady Jane] If you wish to be with him,
I won't stand in your way.
-[chuckles]
-[Governor chuckles]
[pleasant music playing]
Belle.
Oh, I'm not sure we're
God, he's so--
[Fanny] Belle Elizabeth Fox,
I have spent my life hunting
for this moment,
and if you cast this away,
I shall never, ever forgive you.
[whispers] This is true love.
Oh, my God. Fanny, you're right.
Where's Jack?
-He's left to rejoin the Navy.
-When? Why?
[Hetty] A little while ago.
But can you blame him?
I mean, Jack is a good man.
He just doesn't believe he's worthy enough
to be part of your world.
[Governor] Now, now,
the Dolphin sails on the tide, darling.
I suggest you run.
[Rotty] If he's anywhere, he'll be here.
Where's Fagin?
He's in the anteroom,
but I can't let you in.
[Uriah] No pulse.
I'll get a death certificate
from one of the doctors.
Saves carrying a cholera-ridden head home
in a barrel.
Is
is that it?
One death for one loss.
The balance sheet is clean.
No, no, no. It's not! It's bloody not!
This filth of a man deserves comeuppance!
Mr Heep, you sure
you don't want his head?
[exclaiming in frustration]
[melancholy music playing]
We'd better get his body and bury him.
-Yeah. [sniffles]
-[sighs]
"Hope this helps you lads and Rotty
get free and clear.
"See you on the other side.
"Your old pal, Norbert Fagin."
[melancholy music playing,
Meg Mac "Something In The Water"]
You'd go and I'd follow ♪
It's just how it used to be ♪
Same again tomorrow ♪
It's just how it used to be ♪
Tell me and I'd listen ♪
But it's not like it used to be ♪
[officer] It's good to have you
with us, Lieutenant Surgeon.
It burns me and it shakes me ♪
You're not how you used to be ♪
I taste it in the water ♪
I feel it in the air ♪
[harbour master] Prepare to set sail.
The signs are all around me ♪
There's something in the air ♪
I taste it in the water
I taste it in the water ♪
There's something in the water ♪
Every word you say
is coming back your way ♪
Nothing I can do now
You've had your say ♪
[Boxer] For God's sake, help!
-[grunting, groaning]
-[groaning]
-[Belle] Out of the way, please! Please!
-[woman yelps]
Sorry!
-You'll feel it in the air ♪
-Feel it in the air ♪
-The signs are all around you ♪
-Signs are all around you ♪
There's something in the air ♪
Jack!
-Where's the HMS Dolphin?
-Uh
-Just sailed, M'lady.
-[panting] Where to?
Rio de Janeiro.
[panting] Rio de Janeiro?
-When's the next ship?
-Not for another month.
[panting]
[exhales]
Oh ♪
You'll taste it in the water ♪
You'll taste it in the water ♪
'Cause I taste it in the water
I taste it in the water ♪
There's something in the water ♪
[Dodger] Belle?
-[breathing heavily]
-What was that for?
You left me! [panting]
I tried to.
But I love you too much.
[chuckles softly]
I love you too, you brilliant idiot.
[chuckles softly]
[pleasant music playing]
-[Fagin] Hello? Is there anybody there?
-[banging]
-[match strikes]
-[dramatic music playing]
I told you to slow down me ticker,
not feed me to the worms, you doorknob!
Dodger!
Dodger!
[echoing] Dodger!
[seagulls squawking]
[music swells]
[theme music playing]