The Bad Guys: Breaking In (2025) s02e08 Episode Script

1
[heist music playing]
[crowd cheering]
[whimsical orchestral music playing]
Lights, camera, hot celebrity action.
Welcome to my one-on-one,
intimately intense interview
with the biggest movie star on earth,
Miss Vanna Tee.
She's in town to shoot her next movie.
Here! Right here!
I can't believe this is happening!
[camera shutters clicking]
Tiffany, dollface, you're too much.
Miss Tee, what's it like
to be so perfect in every way
that they had to create a new award
to honor you?
Oh, this old thing?
[Tiffany] The CRAB, which stands for
Cinema, Recording, and Broadway,
was awarded to Miss Tee
for her singular achievement
in all of those things.
Are you going to ask me anything
about my new movie?
The first award of its kind.
In other words,
it's the only one in the whole world.
She's just that good.
[microphone thuds, whines]
I'll take that back now.
- Go right ahead.
- I'm trying!
- [paparazzi] Vanna!
- It's all yours.
- [Tiffany gasps]
- [paparazzi 2] Smile!
[Camera shutters clicking]
[sighs] I love Vanna Tee.
She was so good in Undersea Undercover.
I hear she does her own stunts.
Must have that CRAB.
Fin Bro?
Shark's right. This whole city's
going gaga for Vanna and her award.
We pinch the CRAB
from the biggest star on earth,
not only do we keep our streak going,
we get even more infamous doing it.
Looks like we're going to Hollywood.
[heist music playing]
[engine revving]
[hisses]
[tires screeching]
[whimsical music playing]
[Wolf] Film sets are swarming
with crew members.
It'll be a cinch to blend in.
Or maybe it just means
more folks around to blow our cover.
This trinket is worth
risking our streak for?
[Shark gasps on earpiece]
The CRAB is more than a trinket!
It is the epitome of acting.
And this is my…
I mean, our only chance to get it.
Uh, Shark, you're giving off
some very complicated-history-with-Vanna-
revenge-plot vibes.
- This isn't personal, right?
- It better not be.
The Dodgy Dachshunds
let it get personal once.
Their whole crime op fell apart
in 48 hours.
[Shark scoffs] "Personal"?
Ha! Me? Nice one, guys.
Then it's go time. We're in position
with the, uh, borrowed limo.
[Shark] Good. Vanna's a total weirdo.
She discovered that if her chauffeur
drives at 30 miles per hour,
she can't help falling asleep.
She drive-naps daily when filming.
[laughs] Celebrities!
They're just like us.
I'm hacking into Vanna's phone.
I'll send her chauffeur
on a complicated all-day errand.
[Shark] She'll be used to
Vanna's annoying, eccentric requests,
so it won't seem out of the ordinary.
[tires squealing]
Next, Piranha, you handle the guard.
[blow lands]
[Wolf] Snake, you tell Vanna
her car is ready for her drive-nap.
[Snake groans]
[tires squealing]
[revving decreases]
Vanna's in dreamland.
Now Shark just has to grab the CRAB,
and our crime streak continues.
[raspy voice] And the CRAB goes to Shark!
This was all supposed to be yours.
[gasps] Who's saying that? Who are you?
I'm you, but raspier.
Now, stop lying to yourself.
You knew exactly what you were doing
when you put that wig on.
You're going to destroy Vanna.
No. I'm here to get the CRAB.
Wrong! You're here to get back at her
for what she took from you.
Now, tell the team
you can't find the CRAB.
Lie? To my friends?
Are you a star
or a stand-in in someone else's clothes?
Do it!
[earpiece beeps]
The CRAB's not here.
I, uh, can't find it anywhere.
Well, keep looking.
We can't keep this ruse up forever.
If we lose our streak
for some Sparkletown flimflam, so help me…
Everybody, relax. Our streak is safe.
You guys search for the CRAB
while Vanna saws logs.
[keyboard clacking]
Think back on what brought you here.
On that fateful day, all those years ago.
The big audition for a life-changing role,
when you and Vanna
were just bright-eyed young thespians.
Sure, she really wanted to be an actor
and you a criminal.
But had you booked that gig,
you would have had the perfect cover
for all your crimes, baby boy!
[cackles]
You'd be the A-list star, not her.
Think of all the loot
you'd be able to steal
rubbing elbows with the rich and famous.
But no!
Vanna sabotaged you
with your one great weakness.
It'll calm your nerves.
Go on. Eat it.
She knew cheese blintzes
give you the you-know-whats.
[Shark groans]
[Shark vomiting]
[judges gasping and groaning]
And you blintzed all over that stage,
humiliating yourself
and losing the role of a lifetime.
Are you Miss Tee's handlers?
We'd like to get started.
Miss Tee will come out
when she's good and ready.
Shar…
I mean, Miss Tee,
we need you out here.
Yes. I know what I must do.
The best way to get back at Vanna
for ruining my fake life…
…is to ruin her real life.
[cackles]
Hide the CRAB somewhere
the team will never think to look.
They'll be so distracted searching,
they won't notice what you're really up to
until Vanna's precious career
lies in ruins. [chuckles]
[Piranha] Whenever you're ready, Miss Tee!
[Snake] Yeah, no rush, but step on it.
[as Vanna] Time to get personal, dollface.
Sorry.
I was just being difficult, as usual.
Actually, not sorry.
But I'm ready for my close-up.
Shark, what are you doing?!
Stalling. The CRAB must be hidden on set.
Blend in and look for it.
I'll keep the film crew distracted.
How's she doing?
[Vanna snoring]
Out like a light. Speaking of…
[keyboard clacking]
[brakes squeak]
Miss Tee, it is the honor,
nay, the privilege of my lifetime
to direct you.
[belches]
[sniffs, smacks lips]
Oh, is… is that garlic and banana?
Mm. Great guess.
[chuckles] Just one of
your storied quirks, I suppose.
All right, everyone, places!
Places!
Man, people let the rich and famous
get away with anything.
This will take more effort
than I thought. Action!
Oh, by the way, I've decided I'll be
calling "action" and "cut" from now on.
I'm sure you understand.
[heist music playing]
That award's got to be
somewhere on this set.
Here, crabby, crabby.
[gasps]
- [rummaging]
- Nah, no CRAB. [gasps]
But this looks like it'll come in handy.
[chuckles] Love a good boom-boom!
Oh, great. Our most explosive team member
has found a box full of pyrotechnics.
If you blow our streak
with your boom-boom
Yeah. Where is that boom operator?
Do you have clearance to be here?
Who are you?
I'm the boom operator.
[suspenseful music playing]
Oh, you're Brian.
Yep. That's me, Brian, the boom operator.
[chuckling] I, uh, operate on the boom.
This is a boom?
[grunts]
[screams]
[Snake grunts]
[microphone feedback whines]
I almost got made there.
This job is getting too risky.
If we sneak out now,
no one will know we were here.
[Shark, as Vanna] Yoo-hoo!
[scoffs] Where is
my personal boom operator?
Come in real close.
- [whispering] What are you doing?
- I'm acting!
Okay, so, I was thinking,
instead of dialogue,
we should just open on one long,
loud, sustained scream.
And action!
[screams]
- What the heck?
- [screaming continues]
Mm! Guys, did you know
that there's free food on film sets?
[chuckles] Talk about a steal!
[Wolf] Great. But status on the CRAB?
Also, is that screaming?
- [screaming continues]
- Cut! Cut.
Cut, please, Miss Tee. Okay, cut!
Make me!
[gasps] Beans!
[brakes squealing]
[snoring]
Wait a minute. You're not Matilda. Am…
[gasps] Am I getting kidnapped?
Yes?
[screaming]
Wolf! Stop screaming and drive!
[screaming continues]
[engine revving]
[screams]
[snores]
Phew!
Miss Tee, are you literally
chewing the scenery?
This set was bad, so I'm making it better.
If I didn't know any better,
I'd say that isn't even Vanna Tee,
but some kind of impostor.
Crazy, right?
[earpiece beeps]
Shark! You're beefing the streak!
[raspy Shark] Listen, little land worm!
I'm not stopping
until I accomplish what I came here to do.
And if you get in my way,
I'll pull off this disguise,
blow our cover,
and ruin your precious little streak!
Nod your puny head if you understand.
Good. Now, kiss my flipper.
[Snake] Uh-uh!
[Shark kisses]
[as Vanna] There, you did it.
It's our streak.
And that's lunch. Thank heavens!
And this is day one?
[sighs] Was any of that usable?
Guys, are we sure that's Vanna?
Sounds like we all agree that my rewrites
fixed this garbage script. [scoffs]
Now you all can enjoy lunch.
I'll just grab an itty-bitty snack
from crafty.
[munches]
[belches]
Oops! [chuckles] Feeding frenzy!
[chuckles] So quirky, right?
Okay, bye!
Getting dangerously close
to rush hour, gang!
Wrap this up, Shark. I don't know
how long we can keep Vanna asleep.
Hello? Hello?
[earpiece thuds]
Anybody copy? Shark? Anybody?
[earpiece beeps]
Nope, no CRAB in here. But… Huh?
Wolf! Webs!
Something ain't right with Shark.
He tossed his comms
and he's acting like a big diva.
But I'm on it.
[horn blares]
You drive too slow, grandma!
Oh, now this car's moving
slower than us? Hang on.
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
[snoring]
This is getting out of hand.
Oh, no. No, no, no!
[brakes squeak]
[engine idling]
[snoring stops]
[screaming]
[cameras clicking]
[paparazzi] Vanna!
Wow! She really does do her own stunts.
She's gonna tell them we kidnapped her!
Great! We'll be caught for sure.
There goes our crime streak.
[paparazzi 2] Stop! I can't get the shot!
The paparazzi, they found me. Drive!
But keep it under or over 30
so I stay awake.
- Webs.
- On it, Wolf.
[engine revving]
[tires squealing]
[groans]
Those no-good gossip hounds,
they're always trying to catch me
in an embarrassing photo.
I can't let them see me with my 'do askew.
[gasps] Wait a tick. Wolf? Webs?
You're The Bad Guys.
At your disservice.
I loved you in Man Vs. Manatee.
Of course you did, dollface.
But flattery won't get you anywhere.
Now, listen, you two.
[Wolf] Uh, actually,
you should be listening to us.
We understand each other.
Fame recognizes fame.
Everyone knows
The Bad Guys are on a hot streak.
But dang it all, so am I!
I cannot be seen like this,
so you're gonna drive me back to set
without letting anyone
see me in this state.
In exchange,
I'll help keep your streak intact.
It's an offer you simply cannot refuse.
She's just that good.
And don't you forget it.
[snoring]
[engine revs increase]
- [snoring stops]
- [Wolf] That was an accident.
[tires squealing]
This has gone too far.
I'm jeopardizing our streak,
everything we've worked so hard for.
And all for what?
[raspy Shark] Silencio, clown-shark!
Have you forgotten
the mess she made for you?
[Piranha] Uh… Who are you talking to?
Piranha! I'm deep in character right now.
- I don't have time for
- Your team?
Oh, hey. There that is.
Ha! Nice try,
but I saw you chuck it in the chuck bin.
Something is fishy, and I don't mean me.
There's something
between you and Vanna, isn't there?
[scoffs] I don't know what you're
Don't lie to me, Fin Bro.
You're acting awfully personal.
You know what? You're right.
I did make it personal.
I'm so glad you were here
to snap me out of it.
Man, you're the best Fin Bro
I could ever ask for.
Nah, that's what we do.
Let's find that CRAB and get out of here.
I… I had it the whole time.
Perfect way to sneak it out of here.
Let me just fix my rouge
and we can end this.
I'll be right out.
Oh! I can't believe I used the power
of friendship against my Fin Bro.
[raspy Shark]
It'll all be worth it. [chuckles]
There's just one more thing to do.
- Wolf, we got the CRAB.
- [Wolf] Good. We're coming with Vanna.
We'll be gone
before anyone know we were here.
Shark, wrong way!
You're heading towards set!
[as Vanna] I know exactly what I'm doing.
- Oh, no.
- [Shark, as Vanna] Are you looking at me?
Okay, stop looking at me.
I… What… I-I need to focus.
[scoffs] Wow. So unprofessional.
[scoffs] Miss Tee, now,
I know you have your quirks,
but you've always had a reputation
for treating your crew well.
- What's gotten into you?
- Oh, don't worry, toots.
I have the perfect final shot for the day.
- "Toots"?
- That cheese blintz you ordered, Miss Tee.
Oh, you're gonna want to
get in real close for this one.
[munches]
[gulps]
- [stomach grumbling]
- [retches]
- [vomiting]
- [gasps] My eyes!
- [vomiting continues]
- [crew member] Medic!
[whimpers] Oh, no! Oh, no!
[groans] Fin Bro, how could you?
[director] That was disgusting!
I'm calling the press!
You'll never work again!
I can't believe you used
the power of friendship against me,
and cheesed all over those people!
How are we gonna get out of this mess
with our streak intact?
The press is coming!
You ruined everything!
Ha-ha!
Including Vanna's career.
That'll teach her.
[Vanna] Shark, is that you?
You look great!
[laughs] Oh, dollface, it's been forever!
Oh, I've heard all about your work
with The Bad Guys.
[gasps] To think you and I
were just two upstart kids
all those years ago
on the audition circuit.
Hey! Don't patronize me!
You ruined my chance
of a perfect criminal cover
by sabotaging my audition
with that cheese blintz!
[laughs] Told you it was personal.
Blintz? What are you talking about?
I begged you not to eat that,
but you kept insisting
it was the best thing to calm your nerves.
[sniffs]
Shark! No! Don't do it.
You know what those do to you.
I gotta! I need this role!
It's okay.
Cheese blintzes always calm my nerves.
Don't you remember?
You said that last time,
before opening night of our sketch show…
Shark, no!
Wait. What?
Oh, I get it.
It was a classic jealous delusion
that caused Shark
to misremember his bad decision
and cast blame onto Vanna.
Textbook avoidance.
I blintzed myself?
Time to come clean, Fin Bro.
And then I… [whimpers]
…I made the heist personal.
Vindication, thy name is Webs!
I maybe dressed up as you,
and I stole your CRAB and,
uh, I maybe blintzed on camera as you.
That means
there's footage of me blintzing?
[gasps]
My career is over.
I can make this right.
Bad Guys, I know I lied to you
and broke our code of misconduct,
but do you think
you could help me fix this?
We're a team. We've all made mistakes.
We got you, Papa.
Then it's showtime.
I tried! I tried to un-rack focus,
but I couldn't look away!
It just kept coming. [sobs]
Get me the press.
I can make up
the losses for this film tenfold
by selling this insane footage.
First bid, 20 millio
Uh… I'll call you back.
[phone beeps]
You got duped!
It's me, Shark, of The Bad Guys.
Ha-ha! Yep, The Bad Guys.
I'm gonna need that footage.
Never! This footage is worth millions!
[director cackles]
- [panting, grunts]
- Finally figured this thing out.
[grunts, gasps]
[grunts]
- [Shark grunts]
- [Webs grunts]
[Piranha gasps]
[thumb drive clatters]
[Piranha] Everyone!
It's boom-boom time.
[beep]
[explosion]
[fireworks whistling]
[laughter]
We've heard you you-know-what'd!
We caught you blintz-handed!
[camera shutters clicking]
Hey, let me make something clear to you.
Vanna Tee is officially a made lady
under the protection of The Bad Guys!
So, no more photos ever!
Unless you want to see what
the inside of a shark tummy looks like.
[whispering indistinctly]
Okay, some photos.
But only on good-hair days,
as determined by Vanna.
[Shark growls]
[cameras clatter]
What a harrowing time
America's sweetheart has gone through.
Kidnapped by The Bad Guys?
Your adoring public won't stand for it.
Actually, dollface,
I'm thankful for The Bad Guys.
They're the best in the biz,
just like me.
It wasn't a total loss.
It was perfect research for my next film.
- [gasps] Do tell.
- The Bad Gals.
- At least you still have your CRAB.
- Actually, they made off with it.
- Oh, horror of horrors!
- Eh…
[Vanna] I'll win another one.
Because I'm just that good.
You heard it here first.
Vanna's got a new franchise planned,
and The Bad Guys' CRAB nab
means their hot streak continues.
Mwah!
[Snake] I can't believe
she let you keep it.
She said my acting earned it.
[crickets chirping]
[ominous music playing]