Platonic (2023) s02e09 Episode Script

1
[Watson barking]
[Charlie] Watson.
[barking continues]
Can I have some ketchup for my pork chops?
- What?
- Can I have ketchup for my pork chops?
Yes, no problem.
I'll get it from the fridge.
- Oh, right.
- [Watson barks]
- Excuse me.
- Don't let him in.
Can you stop him barking, babe, please?
Watson, heel.
[Sylvia] Fuck me.
Heel. Watson.
So how was everybody's day at school?
- Better than this.
- [barking continues]
Hey, Watson, it's okay.
Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.
[Frances] He's so loud.
- Goddamn it!
- Mom.
[Sylvia] Jesus. [sighs]
Christ.
Here you go, sweetie.
- It's ironic that we're inside the gate…
- [Watson barking]
- …and the dog isn't.
- Just while we're training him.
It's obviously not gonna
be like this forever.
- Oh, good. Fun.
- [Charlie] Yeah.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Charlie. Okay.
- Okay. Okay.
- What? Oh, my God.
- Okay. Hey, no, Wats.
- No, no, no. Watson…
- Hey, hey. No taking.
- Bad dog.
- Oh, my God. Okay.
- Please, enough. Okay.
- Watson. Down.
You gotta close the gate.
- [stammers] Excuse me. Really?
- Yeah. Watson respects the gate.
If you closed it he wouldn't be up here.
How about he respects the fact
that I cooked these pork chops?
- No. This isn't… Watson.
- Wait. Oh, my God. Whoa! Hey!
- Come on.
- Hey! Give me back my…
- [Charlie sighs]
- Are you kidding me?
Okay.
- [phone buzzes]
- [sighs]
- All right. Out!
- Okay.
- Shit. I have to take this. It's work.
- [Charlie grunts]
- Out, out, out, out. Out. Out.
- [Watson whining]
- [sighs]
- Get out.
You gotta lift and close.
No, no, no. There we go. Okay.
[Watson barking]
Hey, Cabo Carrie.
Hey, chica. Look, I am gonna cut
straight to the chase, okay.
Do you wanna
be our in-house event planner?
- Oh, my God. [stammers] Wow. [chuckles]
- [barking continues]
Now, before you say anything I just
wanna say the gig is pretty intense.
You know, it would be more than full time.
I'm talking most weekends,
a lot of out of town travel.
- It's exciting.
- [barking continues]
It's party, hangover, brunch, repeat.
But, also, some mamas
can really find it too demanding.
- Oh. [stammers] I'm very flattered.
- [barking continues]
Can Jessipa ride Watson?
- No! Don't bring the lizard to the table.
- Oh, Maeve, no.
For the last time,
dogs and lizards don't mix.
They're not…
Why is Jessipa at the dinner table?
- [Maeve] She likes it.
- Can I just think about it for a bit?
Oh, you know you can, hoochie mama.
But just don't think too long, okay.
- Okay. Bye.
- [Charlie] Wat…
Watson, arrêt.
Arrêt.
This is like Dr. Dolittle.
- [Watson continues barking]
- [sighs]
["Flicker of Light" playing]
[song fades]
Why does it matter
what Sylvia thought about Mason Grand?
I mean, you had a willing investor
who is a famous actor.
So you pretty much had a fucking ATM.
He probably would've funded you forever.
And as we know, the restaurant industry
is full of terrible people.
Yeah, but this guy was so gross.
- Okay, so is Reggie.
- This guy was grosser than Reggie.
Reggie thought this guy was gross.
So think about how fucking gross
that makes this guy.
Yeah, that's pretty gross.
But anybody who invests in a bar is gross.
I mean, we're gross. It's a cash business.
You either wanna launder money
or hit on young drunk people.
On top of being gross, they were
just unbelievably lame to hang out with.
And not funny in any way, shape or form.
And what's crazy is Sylvia,
she saw this shit, like, a mile away.
She had, like, a sixth sense about it.
Fuck is going on right now?
Nothing.
Just… I'm just looking at my friend.
You're not just looking at your friend.
You guys are eye-fucking each other.
- I can see.
- I'm looking at my friend. I love him.
You're gonna get that eye syphilis
I heard about.
What is going on right now?
You and Sylvia are too involved
in each other's lives. It's ridiculous.
You guys are co-dependent.
Like me and my aunt.
Mm-hmm. All I'm saying is that Sylvia
is too up in your business, man.
Okay? You just messed up a huge
financial opportunity because of her.
And what do you get in return?
You live in her ADU,
- your career is in shambles…
- [sighs]
…and also, you're not fucking.
Actually, I was fucking
and then she made me stop.
Of course she did. Because what
you two need are boundaries, man.
- Amen.
- Well, yeah…
What kind of boundaries you thinking?
I don't know.
Like, formalize that shit, dude.
First off, pay rent
so you don't owe her anything.
Oh, yeah. That's good.
I like that. Pay her rent.
- Yeah.
- Boundaries.
Hell, yeah.
Oh, my God.
I almost forgot to tell you guys.
- [Andy] What?
- The basement is flooded.
- Right now?
- Yeah.
Why are you just telling us that now?
Yo.
Oh, hey.
Um, here you go.
What's this?
It's rent.
You don't need to pay me rent.
I'm your friend, not your landlord.
I know. I appreciate that.
And if you were my landlord, I'd probably
have more than a mini fridge in there.
You know what I mean? But I just…
If I'm gonna live in your ADU,
I'd rather… I'd rather pay rent.
It would make me feel better.
Kind of make it official, you know.
Some… Some little boundaries, you know.
Oh. Sure, I…
What do you mean by boundaries?
I just mean I'm… I'm trying to get my life
back together, you know.
And we're just so… [inhales deeply]
…you know, intertwined.
And-And I'm honestly,
I'm so reliant on you for everything.
I talk to you about all my problems.
I come to you for all my advice
and-and I live in your garage.
It just might be healthy, you know…
[stammers] …to have a little separation.
Some… Some… Some boundaries.
Yeah. Sure. I didn't…
I didn't realize there were so many
festering issues…
- There isn't.
- [chuckles] …between us.
It's just… It-It-It'll be…
It'll be a healthy step for both of us.
You know, um… You know,
you have your space, I have my space.
Which is also your space.
But now I'm paying you rent so it's, like,
sorta, a little bit my space.
Little boundary.
Great.
Great.
- That looks delicious.
- Hmm. Thanks.
$200?
[Will sighs]
The idea behind Jay 6 Bar & Grille
was simple:
Open a neighborhood gathering spot
with the heart of an alehouse.
That makes no sense.
Here's a cold one, Jenna.
- Thanks, Terry. Whoo. [chuckles]
- [Terry chuckles]
[inhales deeply]
[all] That's good beer.
What the actual fuck?
[door closes]
[footsteps departing]
[Will] Hey.
Hey, um…
Have a good one.
Thanks.
[sighs]
Honestly, Will, it's hard to tell.
I know.
There's potentially intimate contact
below the belt, but we don't know.
No, yeah. He could just be innocently
touching the small of her back
or he can have
a whole handful of fucking butt.
[stammers] It's impossible
to see from this angle.
Okay. We need to do more recon.
I agree. I very much agree.
[slurps]
- [grunts]
- Okay. [sighs]
- Pull up the grid.
- Okay. Pulling up the grid.
Terry. Oh, God.
Terry's, like,
obsessed with goldendoodles.
- A weirdo.
- Wait, yo, yo, yo.
Look at him doing yoga there.
Shit, look how flexible he is.
[Katie] Did he make that knife?
He mills his own blades?
That's fucking cool as shit.
- Are you kidding me?
- Very manly.
- Very manly.
- Yeah.
This guy has too many dogs,
he can suck his own dick it seems,
and he makes knives.
He's got, like,
really diverse personality traits.
[inhales deeply] This drink is amazing,
by the way. What is this?
Oh, my gosh.
That's a cosmo, girl.
- Ooh, "that's a cosmo, girl"?
- Mmm, mmm.
- Well, it's fucking great. Okay.
- Uh, Carrie's never wrong.
Who's Carrie?
[indistinct voices on TV]
Man, I've never seen this show before.
It's fucking awesome.
Yeah. I mean,
it's got sex and it's got the city.
- It's got it all.
- It's got it all.
Do her and Mr. Big end up together?
Oh. Well, you're gonna have to
watch six seasons,
two movies and a shitty spin-off
that's just the same show minus one bitch.
- Which one's that?
- Cattrall.
- Really?
- Samantha, yeah.
- Damn.
- Yeah.
- Will you just tell me?
- They get married.
- Oh, nice.
- Ultimately, he dies.
- Oh, shit. That is very grim.
- He dies. Yeah.
- Spoiler alert.
- Yeah.
Hey, should I mix us up some spicy margs?
Shit, yeah. If you don't mind
going through the trouble
- I'd love a spicy marg.
- No. I love making cocktails.
- Oh, awesome.
- All right. You're in for a treat.
Yeah, if you don't want any help,
I'll be here.
- No, no, no. I got this.
- Great.
You relax.
[vocalizing]
Spicy margs coming up.
Ooh. Nice.
No ice or anything.
Just raw-dogging those, huh?
Mmm. Room temp. My fave.
I don't know. It's like…
Why bother, you know?
Yeah, why bother?
- Ugh.
- Actually, that was my first slogan.
"Why bother?"
But it didn't test as well as
"Don't ask, don't get."
- Makes more sense.
- Mmm.
I have a fridge full of Ballz,
so drink up.
- It's tart and sugary, but also bland.
- Mmm.
- I know.
- Yeah.
- [chuckles] You're welcome.
- [groans]
Whew.
[breathes heavily] All right.
Thanks for getting me home safe.
Of course. And go easy on yourself.
- Yeah.
- You know, a career's a process.
- Yeah.
- Lucky Penny's fine for now.
You're not gonna get stuck there forever.
Yeah, I know. I-I just wish I had some
kind of, like, tangible stepping stone
to Shitty Little Bar, you know.
- Why don't you do, like, a pop-up?
- Pop-up?
Yeah, this mom at school
did a pop-up for her energy bars
and now she's selling them at Whole Foods.
It helped her get investors.
Wow. That's a good idea.
Yeah. They're called Skinny Bitch.
They're really good.
I like that name. That's great.
- She is a skinny bitch.
- [chuckles]
What are you doing now? Uh, you like beer?
I got some vats in the back.
I love beer.
If it's really our only option.
It is.
[Watson scratches door, barks]
[Sylvia inhales sharply]
- [Watson barking]
- [Sylvia grunts]
[Sylvia] Babe, I think he needs to go out.
[Charlie] No, Watson. No. No.
[Watson whining]
There's probably just a possum outside.
Ignore him and he'll stop eventually.
See? Look at that. [sighs]
[Watson scurrying, banging on door]
[barking]
[banging on door]
[Charlie sighs] Yeah, okay.
- Okay. Thanks, babe.
- [grunts]
[barking continues]
[Charlie sighs]
Yeah, I got you.
- [barking]
- All right, okay. Chill out, dude.
All right, Watson. Okay. Okay, what is it?
There you go. Okay.
[sighs, yawns]
- [Katie screaming]
- [Watson barking]
- [Katie screams] Jesus!
- [Will] Help! Help! Help!
- [Katie] Will! [exclaims]
- Help me!
- Help me! Help!
- [Watson snarling]
- [grunts] Hey, no.
- [Charlie] W-Watson!
- Help me!
- Watson! Watson.
He's gonna fucking kill me!
[Charlie]
He's not gonna bite you if you stop!
- [Will grunts] What do I do?
- Watson! Watson! Watson, no!
- Stop! Just stop running…
- He's trying to get me!
- …he'll stop chasing you.
- I don't know what to do!
Sit! Sit, boy! Sit!
He's not listening, you fuck.
Why isn't he chasing you?
- [Katie] Oh, my God! What I'm…
- Watson! Watson, heel!
- Heel!
- … holding a glass!
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, thank god.
Oh, my God.
You have to get him out of the pool.
The shelter told me he can't swim.
He's trying to fucking kill me. No!
- [whines]
- You have to help me!
He can swim. All dogs can swim.
- It's instinct.
- He doesn't know how to swim, clearly.
- Look at him.
- [whining]
- You have to help the dog!
- Fuck you! You help the dog!
I-I just blow-dried my hair today!
We're going. We're going.
Here we go! [grunts]
- Okay. Come here. Come here, boy.
- Where is he?
- Just hold him. Grab his legs.
- Get him!
- Hold his legs.
- Yeah! Strangle him!
- [grunting]
- [yells] Bad… Bad dog!
- Pull him out!
- [Will] Fuck this dog.
[Katie] I don't know how to help!
[both panting, sputtering]
[Watson whining]
- [grunts]
- [grunts]
[Will strains] Oh, God.
[panting]
[growls, barks]
- Fuck! It's happening again!
- [Charlie] Oh!
- It's happening again!
- [Katie] God.
- Shit. Shit.
- [Katie] Oh, no!
- W-Watson! Watson! No! No!
- Fuck you!
[exclaims]
- Oh, God. Oh, God.
- Come on.
[spits] No!
Goddamn it! Oh, my God.
Is this ever gonna end?
- This will never end!
- [Charlie] Good. Okay.
- [Will] This is a vicious cycle!
- It's fine!
[Will] We're gonna be doing this
all fucking night, man.
Oh, my God. I'm glad nobody got hurt.
Yeah, this dog's fucking insane,
by the way.
Yeah, I know. He's a foster.
He's got some trauma, I think.
- You don't know that.
- You're right. I don't.
Yeah. And in Watson's defense,
he was just trying to protect the house.
That's what he's bred to do.
I think he was actually jealous.
He heard us out there having fun
and he was like,
"Why didn't anyone invite me?"
- What were you guys doing?
- She just wanted to try my beer.
- Are you ready?
- Uh, yeah. Let me get changed.
Uh, can we kick it?
- Yes, we can. [chuckles]
- Where are you guys going?
We're gonna karaoke in K-Town.
You should come.
- Aw, I would…
- I don't wanna do that.
I'd love to, but I gotta get up
in the morning early.
- For what?
- I have to take the kids to school.
Oh. Right, sorry.
When Joe has Sam
I just forget all about that.
- Your family?
- Honestly, yeah.
I can't believe you get half a week off.
It's so unfair.
Wish I was divorced.
[chuckling]
- I was joking.
- Yeah, well, it didn't sound like that.
Come on. You know
that I wasn't being serious, babe.
You know what? I don't even know
what to believe these days.
What? What does that mean?
Where did Simon get the money
to buy God of War?
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Well, maybe… maybe this rings a bell.
The game retails for $50.
You bribed our son to read my book?
That's not true. Who told you?
[sighs] You know what,
you really hurt my feelings.
I never asked you
to do anything like this.
Your opinion is the only one
that matters to me.
You could've read the goddamn book.
I'm sorry. I've just been so busy.
I'm gonna sleep downstairs.
[sighs]
[sighs]
Oh, my God. That fedora.
Hey, babe. Do you want coffee?
I just made a pot.
Uh, no. I'm taking Watson for a walk.
Babe, I'm really sorry about the book.
I'm gonna read it today.
Whatever.
And actually,
I-I-I wanted to tell you, um,
I got a big job offer from Cabo Carrie.
It's like a permanent thing
with benefits and a salary.
But it would be really disruptive
to our family life,
so it's something that we should discuss.
Yeah. No need. I'm sure you're gonna
do whatever you wanna do.
Excuse me? You know what,
um, since you're free today,
uh, maybe you could
drop the kids off at school
and you could take Simon
to the orthodontist
and then after you do pickup maybe
you could take Frances to her SAT class,
Simon to his bass lesson
and Maeve to tae kwon do.
And then maybe in between that
you could just run to the grocery store
and pick up whatever you need
for this week's dinners.
While you're at it, you can also figure
out how to sell the fucking minivan.
Oh. Whoa, whoa. Where is this coming from?
I'm the one who does whatever she wants?
You're the one who quit his job
without consulting me.
So yeah, it's a little hard to find time
to read 800 pages
of Lincoln Lawyer fan fiction.
I have never read The Lincoln Lawyer.
Not one goddamn page.
Well, maybe you should
because you could learn a thing or two.
And you can finish these lunches.
- Hey.
- Hi.
All right. What are you up to today?
Let's hang out.
What happened to boundaries?
Oh, can we just drop that for now?
Let's hang.
Okay. Well, I actually
got a lot of shit going on today.
With what? I'll join.
I just… I gotta get out of the house.
Yeah, I guess if you want to.
I'm… I'm going kayaking with Katie.
Is that of interest to you?
- What? Yes. Cool.
- Yeah.
- Cool? That interests you?
- Yes. Why not?
Why not? 'Cause you don't like boats
or water or doing things in general.
No, I'm… [scoffs] …I wanna come.
- Kayaking is cool.
- Great.
I'm down. Where are we kayaking?
The LA river.
- The Los Angeles River?
- Uh-huh.
Is that even a river?
Isn't that just sewage runoff?
Disposing of sewage is one
of the LA River's many functions.
But other parts of it are vibrant
waterways filled with wildlife
and a lot of history.
I'm down. Let's go. Let's do this.
I'm gonna…
I'm gonna get my kayaking gear on.
Perfect. We don't leave for four hours.
- Well, then I got some time to find it.
- Perfect. Great.
So, that… Like, kayaking
takes a lot of upper body strength, huh?
You don't even need to go to the gym
'cause you can get
all your upper body workout here.
I don't know. Sometimes.
- [Will] Yo!
- Hey!
- Hey!
- Kayak crew!
Whoa! Somebody really
takes her activewear seriously.
Don't love skin cancer.
Do love looking like a fucking dork.
- [both laughing]
- Whoa! Fucking coming in hot.
- Yeah.
- You look like you're… just… dumb.
- Oof.
- Didn't have anything loaded, did you?
You take a shot at the king,
you best not miss. Boom.
Guys, please. Can you take it easy on me?
I'm kind of in a bad mood today.
- What else is new?
- [chuckles] Oh.
Please. Charlie and I had a fight.
We really got into it.
- What happened?
- [sighs]
He found out that I haven't read his book
and he's mad about it.
As he should be. You should read it.
He-He worked hard on that thing.
I'd be mad.
I'm mad at him too, okay?
I'm mad that he quit his job
without asking me.
I'm mad that he got a dog.
I'm mad that he's at home
just "pretending" to work on something
that nobody wants.
Marriage.
Can't say I miss it.
Guys, can you stop high fiving, please?
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, absolutely.
If we're annoying you so much, why don't
you go home and read your husband's book
- like you should be doing?
- No, thank you.
Excuse me. Um, hi,
this, uh, warning sign, um,
"Don't touch the water.
High bacteria levels,"
is that the current conditions?
Yeah. For sure.
Yeah, you do not wanna touch the water.
I mean, we should
probably rain check, right?
But he has to say this. [stammers]
He works here. It's a liability thing.
No, no, that's… that's real.
Like, please don't touch the water.
You can't get it
in any membrane or orifice.
So, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, et cetera.
Et cetera? What… What does that mean?
- Vagina.
- Butt.
- Oh, I thought you were gonna say butt.
- Nope.
Yeah, either of them, please.
- What about like a wiener hole?
- All of it is bad.
- Okay. Maybe…
- Do you guys wanna do three singles?
Oh, no. I've never been before.
I gotta go with somebody.
- Oh, yeah. We can go together.
- Oh, all right.
- Yeah.
- Oh, but I don't wanna be alone.
Relax. We'll be right
beside each other, okay?
Chill out.
This is supposed to be relaxing.
You're stressing everybody out.
What? Are you kidding me? I'm so chill.
- Okay. Look at that. [laughs]
- [laughs] Oh, there she is.
The double is this one right here
for you guys.
- Great.
- [laughs]
And the launch point's
just right down there.
- Cool. Thanks.
- You'll see it.
Okay. Cool. This me?
And then that is your vessel there.
And we just cleaned it out, so…
Why?
So, wait, it-it-it-it's past
the homeless encampment?
Yeah, just on the other side.
It's, like, right there.
Just go around. Don't go through.
They're cool. But don't go through.
Hey, guys! Guys, wait up.
[Katie] Sylvia, move that ass!
[Sylvia] All right then.
Guys! Katie?
["This Land Is Your Land" playing]
[music ends]
[Will] Isn't this nice?
[Sylvia] So great. It's gorgeous.
Um, I was thinking, you wanna, like,
maybe, like, another ten… five minutes
we just, like… [stammers]
…stop doing this and get out of here?
Get some brewskies?
Oh, I could spend all day in here.
- Me too. It's so nice.
- [Sylvia chuckles]
Yeah, me too. [sighs]
You know, it's funny… in normal life
when you look down at the LA River,
it just looks grimy.
[Sylvia] Yeah, it's kinda grimy
in here too. [chuckles]
But then when you're in it
there's just so much unseen beauty.
- It's amazing.
- Oh, my God. Look at that bird.
What is that? Is that a condor?
Like, a bald eagle or something?
[Will] A heron? A heron?
- That's a seagull. It's a seagull.
- It might just be a seagull.
But what's crazy is
when you're down here in the river
it gives seagulls,
like, a whole new context.
Like, you really notice their beauty.
You know what I mean?
[Katie] Yes. That… That is the magic
of the LA River.
Yes, I know. It is. It's magic. I agree.
[inhales sharply]
Hope it doesn't get hepatitis. [chuckles]
So nice. It's clear.
You can see the bottom.
- Ooh, is that a baby jellyfish?
- Oh, my…
- Ooh.
- Oh.
No, that's, like, six condoms
that somehow got clumped together.
- Oh, you wanna splash?
- Whoa.
- Oh, I'll splash you.
- Oh, you better cover that wiener hole!
- You better fucking cover your vagina.
- Water. No. No, I got that on my hand.
I'm getting… I'm getting some…
You better cover your etcetera. [chuckles]
- No, no, no. No.
- [exclaims]
- Ah, stop!
- [exclaims] You fucker.
[exclaims, groans] I got it in my mouth.
It's really refreshing.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Mmm. Yeah, that does taste really fresh.
[Will] Let's do it.
- Oh, yeah.
- [sighs]
- [groans]
- [moans]
- Oh, that feels good.
- Oh, my God.
I'm so much cooler now, guys.
- Oh, it feels nice.
- [sighs]
[Will] The LA River's mostly rainwater.
[Katie] Yeah, it's coming down
from the mountain.
Yeah. It filters through
the Santa Monica mountain range.
Tastes better than my tap water.
- What the fuck are you two talking about?
- The LA River!
Ah.
- Stop drinking the water.
- [Will] It's good.
- [Sylvia] No. No.
- [Will] Mmm.
[chokes]
- [groans]
- Ooh.
- It's just a feather.
- Just a feather. Nature.
- [spits, chuckles]
- Have more water.
- Yeah, I'm… I'm not thirsty anymore.
- Okay.
- Do you want some Purell?
- No, that stuff's toxic!
Get that out of here.
- Hey. [chuckles]
- [exclaims]
- I think forecast called for some rain.
- No. No.
- Look out. Look out. Look out. [chuckles]
- [exclaims] Watch out!
- Don't do that.
- [Katie] It's getting choppy.
- [Will chuckles]
- It's getting choppy.
- Absolutely not. Don't do that.
- Oh!
- Some hepatitis coming your way!
- Oh, there's a swell.
- [exclaims]
- [Will chuckling] Come on.
- [Will] Don't…
- Stop! Stop!
- [grunts]
- [chuckling]
- Where are you going? [chuckles]
- Where you going?
Away.
- [Will chuckles]
- [Katie] Where you going?
- [Will] Where you going, Syl?
- Get back here!
- [Will] Get back!
- Plug your hole! Plug your hole.
[Will chuckles]
- Plug your booty hole!
- Plug your booty…
[sighs]
Katie? Will?
Guys?
[grunts] Fuck!
[person] Fuck!
[fast banjo music playing]
What is happening?
Sir, where am I?
Any… Is this connected to the main start?
I guess that's beautiful.
Don't eat that. That's gross.
[exclaims]
[gasps]
"Don't ask, don't get."
Hiya.
All the best. Have a great day.
[music ends]
[grunts]
[panting]
Okay, okay. Okay.
[grunting]
[grunts]
[panting]
[grunts]
- Not today.
- [alarm beeps]
[grunting]
[alarm beeps]
Hey, hey. I'm the normal one.
I'm the normal one!
I'm one of you!
Let's go. Let's… Come on.
What is wrong with her?
I don't know.
- …like a water person.
- Mm-hmm.
Like, I'm really… Like, I'm not a land…
- Like, a wa…
- You're a seaman.
- I'm a semen.
- Nice.
- [Sylvia] Well…
- [chuckles]
- I'm practically made of it.
- You are what you eat.
- Yeah! [chuckles]
- Well.
- Ah!
- Hey.
I wasn't sure I'd ever see you guys again.
Oh, my God, you're alive.
- Yeah. Look at that. [chuckles]
- She's alive.
- Yeah. I'm alive.
- What a fun day, huh?
I'm sorry we got separated.
- Yeah. All's well that ends well.
- Yeah.
- What? Don't be mad. We love you.
- Yeah.
- I'm not mad. I'm not mad.
- Oh, my God, you're so mad.
You know what, I am fucking mad.
You guys abandoned me
in the anus of Los Angeles.
We didn't abandon you.
You took a weird wrong turn.
And what you're actually mad about
is that you should be at home
reading your husband's book.
Yeah, it's not gonna take that long.
You could've finished it in the time
we've been out here.
- Yeah.
- You know what,
you guys have fun before
you come down with hep B.
Losers.
[sighs]
[clears throat]
[Charlie] For Sylvia, the love of my life,
without whom there is no reason to write.
And to Will, who encouraged me
to turn the page and start a new chapter.
Without your advice, I never would have
quit my job and learned how to howl.
[howls]
- [FBI agent 1] Go, go, go, go!
- [sirens wailing]
[FBI agent 1] Go in!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
We gotta get you out of here right now.
- What's going on in there?
- It's a raid.
It's okay. I… [stammers]
…won't tip off anyone or anything.
I-I just work at this pet store. I don't…
I don't know nothing. Uh, good luck.
[FBI agent 1] Okay, okay.
Yes, we got the guy. Come on. Go!
Go, go, go, go, go.
I went to this poker game.
Does that mean I'm in trouble?
Fortunately, the Feds aren't after us.
They're after Reggie.
One of his regular players
was into some dark money type shit.
Unfortunately, the poker game itself
was illegal.
Doesn't help the little fucker
insisted on calling it "Reggie's Game."
Yeah. Probably should have named it
after one of his enemies.
Yeah. He also, like, constantly
referred to it as an illegal poker game.
And also, he kept inviting
famous people to play
and they were posting about it
on social media all the time.
And he would say don't post about it,
but he was kind of saying it
like he wanted you to post about it.
Dumbass is on house arrest now.
Really? Like with the ankle monitor
and the whole deal?
- Oh, yeah.
- You know you have to rent those?
Pretty interesting indictment
of the criminal justice system.
That is.
[sighs] Fellas, Lucky Penny
is closed until further notice. So…
Yeah.
So are we, um, getting paid for the week?
Yeah, I would like to get paid for my work
this week as well.
No! Everything is seized.
Look around. Everything is seized.
Reggie would've wanted us to be paid.
Fuck Reggie!
Yo, dude.
The craziest fucking shit just happened.
The Feds just raided Lucky Penny.
I was right there.
I saw… I saw the entire thing go down.
Whoa. Is everybody okay?
Yeah, everyone's good, except Reggie.
He's not good at all, actually.
He's under house arrest
and he might go to jail.
It's… It's fucked.
[inhales sharply] That sucks.
Yeah, it really sucks.
And also, what sucks is the bar is,
you know, closed for the time being
'cause it's a crime scene.
Uh, so, it might take me a little while
to get you the-the rent money,
'cause I don't have a job.
You don't have to give me any money.
Oh, that's… that's really cool of you.
No, you can just take your shit and go.
- What?
- Yeah.
Boundaries. You were right.
Okay. Thanks for letting me crash here.
[Sylvia] Mm-hmm.
Yo… [sighs] …thanks for letting me
crash with you. It's temporary. I promise.
Yeah, don't worry about it.
Um, I gotta get back real fast though.
My stomach's all messed up.
Yeah, mine is in rough shape as well.
[sighs] You just wanna be able
to trust a fart, you know?
Oh, yeah. You sure do.
- [groans]
- [screams]
[sighs]
["Beaches" playing]