The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1988) s02e09 Episode Script

1
Gotta get up,
I gotta get goin' ♪
I'm gonna see
a friend of mine ♪
He's round and he's fuzzy ♪
I love him because
he's just Pooh Bear ♪
Winnie the Pooh Bear ♪
Lookin' for fun,
chasin' some honeybees ♪
Pooh Bear,
I know he's out there ♪
Rumbly, tumbly ♪
Climbin' a honey tree ♪
Fun never ends for us,
we're so adventurous ♪
At least every now
and again ♪
And when we're alone
and there's nobody home ♪
It's nice to be able
to count on a friend ♪
Like Pooh Bear,
Winnie the Pooh Bear ♪
Wherever you go ♪
Oh, won't you
take me, please? ♪
Pooh Bear,
I got to be there ♪
It's me and it's you ♪
My silly old
Winnie the Pooh ♪
Oh, this bronzed shoe
will look nice
to my very small picture of me
as a very, very small animal.
Why, Pigalet,
I never knew
you had a a
a thingaroo like this.
Oh, I found it
and decided to display
my favorite daffodil.
Why, Piglet,
where did you get this?
Well, you see
Hey, Piglet,
what's that supposed to be?
Oh, it's just something
Yeah. It's really
something, all right.
Heh heh.
But, uh, what, exactically?
Why, it's obviously
a a
Kind of reminds me of
Oh, I say, a running trophy.
I'd recognize one anywhere.
Aw, of course it is.
Pigalet, why didn't
you ever let on
you were so fleet of footsies?
Oh, no
It's really nothing at all.
He wins a running trophy
and calls it nothing.
What modesty.
But that's our Piglet.
Why, Piglet, I never knew.
Or perhaps I did and forgot.
Okay, let's see
what you got, Pigalet.
But, Tigger
But, uh B-But
Show us how fast you can
run to that tree and back.
1 for the honey, 2 for the road,
3 to get ready, and off you go!
Why, that was so fast,
I didn't even see you go.
It's a new world's record.
Astonishing.
That was wonderful, Piglet.
I always knew
Piglet was very sudden.
I've seen him
run away from things
that aren't even things
to run away from.
Yeah, well, that must be
how he keeps in training.
You know, traditionally,
races are held once a year
to give others an opportunity
to acquire such
a magnificent award.
Yeah. Why, I'd give away
old bunny boy here
for a trophy like that.
Here, Tigger. It's yours.
Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!
I won!
Nonsense. This beautiful
trophy must be won by winning it.
Uh, Rabbit, Gopher, uh,
uh, I just wanted to say
that I certainly don't need
to keep this, uh, trophy
all to myself.
Well, that's the stuff, sonny.
What sportsmanship.
I got to get into training.
Uh, me, too.
Same here.
You know, Piglet,
I don't believe
I'll race this race
because this trophy doesn't look
as though it would
hold much honey.
But I will be very pleased
to see you win it again.
You will?
Oh, d-d-dear.
How could I have let
whatever just happened happen?
1 and 2 and no time to chat.
- And 1 and
- Rabbit, about this race
Now, if you'll excuse me
I have some intensive
training to undo.
I can't run very well at all.
Huh. Trying to fool us
into thinking you're slow, hmm?
Well, I'm going to be ready.
Whoa!
Oh, dear. I can't fly
very well, either.
You want the trophy,
too, Eeyore?
It's not the trophy I'm
interested in, little Piglet.
It's the flower.
Uh, Tigger,
there's something
I have to tell you
about my running.
Aw, don't worry, Pigalet.
I know I can't expect to beat
an exceptionabibble
runner like you.
But it's going to be fun trying.
Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!
Everybody, this has
gone far enough.
I've never won any trophies,
so there's no need
to have a race.
Yes. That's what I must say.
I can't let this idea
go any farther.
That's all there is to it.
Runners must follow
the marked route.
That reminds me of the time
my great-uncle Bigelow
And may the best tigger win.
What? Oh.
I beg your pardon.
Uh, runners, on your mark.
Get set.
Uh, just a moment.
Where's Piglet?
Maybe he's already finished.
Ahem. Everybody, I know what
you all expect to happen here today,
but, um, there's
something I must say.
And you may say it, Piglet,
just as soon as I say go.
Hooray!
Now don't give us
a head start, Piglet.
We want to win this race
fair and square.
Uh, c-come back!
Hooray.
In first place
is Tigger by a tail.
Now Rabbit by a hare.
Gopher by a by a
by a tooth.
And the current champion
is in the last place
one would expect to find him,
which is last place.
Shortest distance between two
points is a straight tunnel.
If I don't finish first,
everybody will be
so disappointed.
Oh, my. Aah!
I say, Rabbit seems to have
cut a bit of distance
off the course,
taking over first place.
Seems I've lost my tail,
little Piglet.
Wouldn't want to win the race
without all of me there.
Uh, Eeyore, about this trophy
It sure is nice of you, Piglet.
I haven't had
so much fun since
Hawmp!
It's Tigger in the lead, but
Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
I'm gonna win!
I'd say he's chosen
to make a pit stop.
Tigger, I really
must tell you
I can't stop now, little Piglet.
I got to catch up with you.
Oh, my.
If seems frontrunner Gopher
has had a blowout.
Gopher, I just
want you to know
Ah, don't worry about me, sonny.
You go ahead.
I've got a spare.
Now it's Tigger in first place.
Or is that Rabbit?
Why, I believe it may be Eeyore.
And in last place, Piglet.
Now it's Well,
someone must be leading.
I'm sure you're right, Owl,
but where are they?
My word. They're
approaching the swamp.
This could become a rather
sticky situation.
It could?
Yes, indeed.
I definitely have to say
they're stuck.
I remember when
my great-aunt Cordelia
fell asleep in a tar barrel.
Owl!
Yes?
We have only one thing to say.
Yes?
Help!
Oh, dear.
Whoever among you I helped first
would gain an unfair advantage.
The principles of fair play
demand that I,
as an official of this race,
must at all costs
maintain impartiality.
Hooray!
No, Pooh. Everyone's
in terrible trouble.
They're stuck in the swamp.
What shall I do?
Well, Piglet,
if they can't finish the race,
take the finish
of the race to them.
Oh, of course.
That's a wonderful idea, Pooh.
Oh, my. We've lost
so much time.
I'm gonna have to run
twice as fast
just to catch up with myself.
Thanks, Piglet. See you
at the finish line.
But I But
Oh, it's too late.
Everyone is going to find out
that I'm not at all
what they expect me to be.
Oh, it's difficult
when large expectations
become very large
unexpectations.
Perhaps it would be best
to do something
unexpected for a change.
I won. I won.
If nobody minds my saying so,
seems to me that I
got here first.
Say, ahem, what are you
talking about? I won.
You won?
Who's the winner, Owl?
It was, I must say,
the closest finish I've seen
since the time my uncle Albert
raced from Albania to Zanzibar.
Pooh, would you kindly
tell them who won the race?
Well, actually, I'm afraid
you're all too late.
I don't think anyone would
expect me to move away.
What are you doing, Piglet?
I'm leaving
the Hundred Acre Wood,
moving far, far away
to some place where
the unexceptional
won't be expected to excel
beyond expectations.
Uh, could you say that again
a little looser?
Oh, I let you all down.
I never won a race in my life.
Why, Piglet, of course
you've won a race.
Sure. You won this one.
Wasn't that the finishing line
you saved us with?
Oh, why, yes.
I guess it was.
Ooh, and so this trophy
is awarded to you, Piglet.
Me?
Why, certainly.
You won, just like we
expected you to.
Now only did you win,
but, heh heh,
you helped everyone else
come in second.
Hooray for Piglet,
for doing exactly what we
expected him to do
in a very "I'm your best
friend Piglet" sort of way.
- Definitely.
- Posilutely.
Well, thank you.
This will look very nice
indeed on my shelf
next to the trophy
I won for weightlifting.
Just kidding.
Jump, Piglet!
Help! Oh, help!
More scared, Piglet!
I'm afraid I'm too afraid
to be more afraid.
Yeah, I don't blame you, Piglet.
I'm terrifying, aren't I?
Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!
Tiggers always play
the bad guys best.
Where's the ladder?
How can we save Piglet
without my portable ladder?
This ladder is too short.
That's what makes it
so portable.
Too high! Aah!
It's too high!
Whoops. Hmm,
now where's that reverse?
I'll have you down
before you can say
Aah!
Better try the net.
Jump, Piglet!
Oh, I don't think I can.
But it's easy, Piglet.
Just do this.
Help!
Hmm. Fast learner.
Rabbit, what kind
of saving was that?
Well, I did my part just
as I was supposed to.
Looks like you're
short one life saver.
Good morning, everyone.
Eh, you're late.
Where have you been?
I believe I've been right here,
although I did spend
some time over there, too.
You missed the fire drill.
Messed up the whole thing.
You're even running too late
to be late, Pooh boy.
You are without a doubt
the slowest bear there is.
Why, thank you, Rabbit.
You can't go around
being late all the time.
Late for this, late for that.
Just won't do, Pooh.
Throws everything out of whack.
Destroys the balance of things.
Is there anything I can do
to put things back in whack?
Well, you could start by
being on time for once.
It's best, Pooh, if you don't
wait until the last minute.
Yes, Piglet. But I never know
which is the last minute.
There always seem to be
more minutes left over.
If you move any slower,
buddy bear,
you're going to be
going backwards.
Ah! By dinghy, that's it!
What's it?
A way to get everything
back on track.
We'll speed the bear up.
We'll get him moving
like the wind itself.
Once you take the specifications
of that fluff-filled head
and full stomach
into consideration
And just when are you
going to speed him up?
Keep your ears on.
It's going to take some time
to get Pooh on time.
And you're certainly
taking enough time
with all this nonsense.
I'll get Pooh moving.
Oh, good.
Perhaps we'll have
time left over
for something sweet.
Well, good luck.
I'll be waiting
when you give up.
Now, this, Pooh Bear,
is a schedule,
something I am never without.
If you follow it faithfully,
you'll be moving faster than
well, whatever you choose
to move faster than.
Oh, my.
I've never seen anyone waste
so much time so quickly.
You're getting him moving
faster, all right
slowly.
The secret to not
being late, Pooh,
is taking short cuts.
And to do that, you find
the straight line
which is the shortest
distance between two points.
Between those points is
where I'll find enough time?
Exactly, Pooh.
Ouch!
Is this one of the points
I'm looking for, Piglet?
Heh heh. No, Pooh.
That's a pine cone.
Oh, dear. I don't think
this is going to work.
I figured out
your problem, Pooh boy.
You got no stripes.
But, Tigger, how will
stripes make me faster?
They'll make you faster
because they're racing stripes.
Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!
Hmm.
I'm gonna have to
get a new brush.
About ready to call it
quits, are you?
Get yourselves ready
for the new, improved,
faster Pooh Bear.
Excuse me, Gopher,
but what exactly
will I have to do?
Not a single thing, Pooh Bear.
My fully automatic solar-powered
woodgrain speeder upper
is gonna do it for you.
All you got to do
is, uh, go for it.
Oh, bother!
You did it! He's flying
like no Poor bear
has flied before!
I never thought I'd see
the day he moved like that.
Oh, dear.
The only thing
I don't understand
about this
not being slow business
is when shall I ever
find time for lunch?
Rabbit, do you think
Pooh's being so very fast
is really such
a very good thing?
Of course it isn't good.
It's wonderful.
We've been trying to speed
that bear up forever.
On the other hand
The new Pooh is
a menace to everyone.
Don't be ridicorous.
The only good pooh
is a fast pooh.
But I wish he wouldn't do that.
What's everybody
complaining about?
Pooh's perfect.
He's the fastest bear on two
Missed us that time, buddy bear!
Back to the drawing
board, Gopher.
Your perfect bear isn't.
You ain't just whistling
"Dixie," sonny.
This is positively,
absolutely guaranteed
to slow him down.
Let's see how that speed
demon handles Plan 2.
But how will this
slow Pooh down?
Uh, bear crosses bridge,
bridge falls,
bear drops into water.
As simple as that.
By dinghy,
the specifications clearly state
that the bridge should have
Aah!
Now he's gonna get Plan 3.
Soon as he hits this, he'll
Ah, dagnabbit!
There's just no
slowing that bear down.
If we don't slow him
down, we'll have to..
By dinghy, I got it!
Beautiful day, as days go.
Birds in the trees,
flowers here and there,
not to mention one of those.
Whoops!
I'm sorry, Eeyore.
I was trying not to be late.
Don't see why you're
in such a hurry.
Sooner you get to a place,
the sooner somebody
asks you to leave.
Perhaps I should ask the others
where it is I should be
that I'm not.
Mind if I tag along
to find out what
you're talking about?
What a good idea, Eeyore.
And that way,
we can find out together.
Only one thing to do,
and that's restore the balance.
Restore the what?
The balance. The natural
order of things.
And just how do you
propose we do that?
Easy. We can't
slow Pooh down,
so we speed up.
What a perspiring idea.
Just what I'd expect
from a gopher.
Hmm. I suppose
it might just work.
From this second on, we do
everything double time.
Better yet,
make that triple time.
And we'll do it together
to make sure it gets done right.
Must get the harvesting done.
Have to plan for winter.
Time to plant new crops.
I must finish
my spring cleaning.
There. All done.
Now for next year's.
Mustn't wait
till the last minute.
Got to get new tunnels dug.
No time to dawdle.
Got to get
on Pooh Standard Time.
Aah!
Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
I'm gonna have
to bounce my tail off
to be as fast as buddy bear.
Um, Tigger.
I know I'm late for something
because
I always am.
If I don't remember
what it is soon,
I shall very likely
be late for being late.
Don't know how much longer
I can keep up this pace.
Uh, Rabbit
I'm afraid very small
animals such as myself
get tired rather quickly.
Excuse me, Piglet.
I can't tunnel another
inch at this speed.
I don't think I can
bounce another bounce.
I think I have missed something very,
very important.
Hello, everyone.
I'm sorry for being late.
Why, Pooh, you are.
You're late.
It worked.
We don't have to hurry anymore.
But aren't you all
angry with me?
No. Because
not being on time
is right on time
for a pooh bear.
Does that mean I'm on time
for whatever it is
I'm not on time for?
Precisely.
You can take your time
for all the time you want.
You're not late, Pooh.
You're just Pooh.
Yes. Now I see.
If being late means being me,
then that's what I shall be,
so long as it doesn't mean
being late for breakfast.
Pooh Bear,
Winnie the Pooh Bear ♪
Wherever you go ♪
Oh, won't you
take me, please? ♪
Pooh Bear,
I got to be there ♪
It's me and it's you ♪
My silly old
Winnie the Pooh ♪