Gilligan's Island (1964) s02e10 Episode Script

1
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale ♪
a tale of a fateful trip ♪
that started from this tropic port ♪
aboard this tiny ship ♪
the mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪
the skipper brave and sure ♪
five passengers set sail that day ♪
for a three-hour tour ♪
a three-hour tour ♪
[thunder]
The weather started getting rough ♪
the tiny ship was tossed ♪
if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪
the minnow would be lost ♪
the minnow would be lost ♪
the ship set ground on the
shore of this uncharted desert isle ♪
with gilligan ♪
the skipper, too ♪
the millionaire ♪
and his wife ♪
the movie star ♪
the professor and Mary Ann ♪
here on gilligan's isle ♪
When, skipper, today?
Tomorrow? The next day?
I don't know, gilligan.
Guess.
Gilligan, I don't know
when the typhoon will hit.
I guess Wednesday.
Yeah. The typhoon will
hit the island Wednesday.
Alright, Wednesday. Come on!
What makes you think the
typhoon will hit on Wednesday?
Because bad things
happen on Wednesday.
Bad things don't happen
on just Wednesday.
That's ridiculous.
No, it isn't. It was on a Wednesday
that fatso Flanagan tore his pants.
And it was on a Wednesday
that skinny mulligan
got expelled for giving
the teacher an apple.
You don't get expelled or suspended
for giving a teacher an apple.
With a worm in it?
Never mind. Here, get
this fruit off my shoulder.
Well, get it in the cave.
And it was on a Wednesday
that Bobby mcguire
gilligan, I am not interested.
We've gotta get these supplies in
the cave before the typhoon hits.
When do you think it'll hit,
tonight? Tomorrow? The next day?
I told you, I don't know!
Maybe next Monday.
Never mind, gilligan! Just pile the crates!
[Bonk] Ow!
Buddy, are you alright?
Well, then come on out.
I'll come in and get you.
I'm sorry, little buddy.
It was strictly an accident.
I didn't hurt you too bad, did I?
Try moving your jaw back and forth.
Good. Now try opening your mouth.
[Orchestra playing]
[Music stops]
[Orchestra playing]
[Music stops]
Guh uh
[Music starts and stops
when mouth opens and closes]
Professor, I don't see
how a smack in the jaw
could turn him into a radio.
He's not a radio, skipper.
He's merely a simple form of receiver.
The high-frequency
sound waves are emanating
from the molar which
is pushed against
oh, never mind all the technicalities.
The thing I'm getting at is I've
been belted many times before,
but the only thing that ever came
out of my mouth was a loose tooth.
From what I've been able to see,
one of gilligan's molars has
been jolted out of position
and shoved against a tooth
with a silver filling. Open, gilligan.
Radio: This is station kalu,
Honolulu, the voice of pineapp
close. It's not too unusual a situation.
It's happened a number of times.
Yes, but not to gilligan.
The atmospheric conditions,
the metal in his mouth,
the shape of his skull have all
combined to make him a receiver.
Is there any chance,
instead of being a receiver,
could we make him a sender so
we could get a message to Hawaii?
No, I'm afraid not, skipper.
And unless I miss my guess,
the position of his head and
body will bring in different stations.
Watch. Open up, gilligan.
[Radio stations play]
Well, I'll be darned.
Gilligan, your tooth may
go back into position by itself,
or perhaps I'll have to find a
non-conductive substance to coat it with.
Or maybe I'll pull the tooth.
Well, you make the decision.
I have to keep checking
these weather reports.
What's the latest on the typhoon?
Still headed this way.
Radio: Which is bearing down
on the southwest pacific area is
[rock music from gilligan]
Gilligan, would you close your mouth?
Radio: And there will be
hourly reports from this station.
You are going to have to stay away
from this transistor radio, gilligan.
The signals you're emitting
are loud enough to cause interference.
I'll take him over and show the girls.
Wouldn't it be wonderful
if our little buddy
could be turned into a color TV?
[Music from gilligan]
Radio: And now, ladies, for our
last exercise, stretch back the arms.
Come on. Stretch!
Stretch!
Then the papa bear
said to the baby bear
Gilligan, stay in one position!
And that's it for today
from Stan the exercise man.
Oh, well.
Thanks, gilligan, anyway.
We appreciate it.
Are you alright?
[Radio tuning]
Yeah, my jaw aches. It's kind of to find
a position where there's no station.
Oh, you just stay still and rest a while.
And don't do anything to tire yourself.
Oh, gosh no. We want you to rest up
for my favorite soap opera,
Blaze of noon.
Oh, you're not going to
waste him on that, are you?
Waste him? Why, today we find out
if Sarah goes to the electric chair,
if John needs an operation,
and if penny really is
her mother-in-law's daughter.
I don't care if she's her
mother-in-law's father.
I want to hear the academy awards.
[Tuning stations]
Then the papa bear said to
the baby bear,
"whose been eating my porridge?"
And then the mama bear said,
"whose been sleeping in my bed?"
And the baby bear said
Amazing.
There must be a way I can make money
from that boy's teeth.
This could be bigger
than transistor radio.
Molar fm!
Bicuspid shortwave.
Yes, if there's just a way
I can put it into market.
Take the teeth maybe and box them
thurston
Never mind, dear. I'm trying to figure out
how to make a buck from teeth.
A buck from buck teeth!
That's very funny.
I'm sorry, dear. I can't laugh.
I'm so miserable.
The professor won't
let me listen to the radio.
Well, I'm terribly sorry, darling,
but I'm on the trail of
something very, very important.
But the professor's
wasting his time on a tycoon.
No, dear. That's a typhoon.
You see, a tycoon, that's a
man with money, like myself.
A typhoon is a big bag of wind.
Thurston
Never mind what you're
thinking. No comment.
But it's my favorite
program, the fashion news!
But the professor's tracking a storm.
It's terribly important.
Well, so is the fashion news.
And today they're deciding
on the 10 best-dressed women.
Oh, I just can't miss that!
No, no. Heaven forbid. You shouldn't.
Oh, then you will get me the radio.
I'll do better than get you a radio.
I'll get you a radio station.
Oh, darling, you're always so generous.
All we need is gilligan.
Gilligan? Where's gilligan?
Well, you don't have to look for gilligan.
All you have to do is listen for gilligan.
Radio: Repeat. 135 west longitude.
30 degrees south latitude.
Moving at 7 miles per hour.
Stay tuned for complete coverage
of the typhoon in one hour.
Better conserve the radio, skipper.
Check, professor.
How does it look to you?
I'm afraid it's shifting directly toward us.
Well, which side of the island
do you think it will hit first?
It's too early to tell. The crucial
time should be tomorrow afternoon.
You want me to spell you?
No, you better get some sleep.
Alright. I'll take over
first thing in the morning.
Radio: 30 degrees
[Dance music from gilligan]
[Music stops]
[Music resumes]
[Music stops]
[Music resumes]
Gilligan!
Little buddy!
You'll have to find yourself
someplace else to sleep!
I've been lying down there for 2 hours!
And I hate to do this to you, little buddy,
but I'm dead tired!
Now go!
[Music resumes]
[Music stops] Go!
Radio: 40 degrees north longitude.
Repeat. The typhoon took a
severe easterly turn an hour ago,
and has veered toward some
uninhabited islands southwest of Hawaii.
Mouth radio: And now
madame legault sings
the kindakinder Aria from
the opera fliedenstrausen.
[Feedback and opera singing]
[Glass shatters]
[Music stops] Gilligan!
You are jamming the radio.
Don't you understand?
Well, maybe you'd better
go back in the hut.
[Music resumes then stops]
I see, you're keeping the skipper awake.
Well, listen, I've gotta
listen to the storm warning,
so you've got to find
someplace else to sleep.
[Music resumes]
[Music stops]
[Opera music]
Gilligan, my boy, people are sleeping!
[Music stops]
Opera at this time of the night!
I mean, really!
[Opera music]
Both: Gilligan!
Oh, quiet!
We can't even sleep!
Come on, now
[opera music]
[Music stops]
Shh! Go back to bed!
Radio: The typhoon has now
crossed the tropic of cancer.
And has veered toward some
uninhabited islands southwest of Hawaii.
Gilligan
[Yawn, opera music]
[Music and weather report stop]
Gilligan!
Gilligan!
Gilligan, are you alright?
Yeah, I'm ok, professor.
You've gotta be more careful. You can't
gilligan, you're cured!
Huh? Yeah, I'm not a radio anymore!
Well, congratulations.
Oh but unfortunately, the
radio isn't a radio anymore, either.
Well, good. We needed some
peace and quiet around here.
But I can't track the typhoon!
Oh, I didn't think of that. Well,
maybe it's not coming this way.
[Thunder, wind]
Is it a big storm, professor?
You remember the storm
that shipwrecked us?
Yeah, that was the worst one ever.
Well, this typhoon will make
that look like a spring shower.
It could destroy every
living thing on the island.
Every living thing?
You mean, like, plants? Mm-hmm.
Animals? Yes.
And people? Yes.
Well, I'm sorry, but I just can't fix it.
Well, let's not admit defeat.
Have another go at it, professor!
Maybe you could drop
that in there and give it a
it is no use, Mr. Howell!
Without those weather
reports, we're in real trouble.
Yes, and from the look of those clouds,
I think that typhoon's gonna hit us
about sundown tomorrow. And hit hard!
We'd better head for the cave!
Captain, order "abandon island."
Look, Mr. Howell, let's
concentrate on the radio, huh?
Well, gilligan broke it. Let him fix it.
Gilligan is hardly an electronic wizard.
Oh, is that so? Can you
turn yourself into a radio?
Gilligan had nothing to do with it.
2 of his teeth jammed against
each other. It's as simple as that.
Yeah, and it's all because I
accidentally belted him one.
That's right, and when he hit the table,
it jammed it back into its normal position.
Well, if we hit him again, do you
think he would turn into a radio?
Skipper: Mr. Howell!
Now, wait a minute! It's only a soft rock.
Drop that rock.
Well, a little mayhem may save us all!
Mr. Howell, you can't
expect a man to stand still
while you belt him with a rock.
Well, I don't expect him
to stand certainly not!
Well, that's better.
Of course. What you do is you
sneak up on him. Then you hit him!
Mr. Howell, will you stop that!
A rock, for heaven's sake.
Hi, skipper. Any luck with the radio?
Nope.
There's a piece of copper wiring around
here somewhere. Maybe that'll help.
I did it again. I didn't mean to bust
the radio and unbust me, but I did.
Well, it was just an accident.
Yeah. Skipper, if I was a radio,
we wouldn't be in such trouble.
So?
I want to be a radio again.
Well, gilligan, it's not all that easy to do.
Sure it is.
I want you to hit me in the
mouth as hard as you can.
You what?
I'm sorry, I can't say it again. I'm chicken.
Say what?
Hit me in the mouth as hard as you can.
Gilligan, little buddy,
that's the most noble sacrifice
anyone has ever made.
Well, I haven't made it yet.
In fact, I think the chicken
in me is coming out.
[Imitates chicken]
Let's go outside.
Mary Ann, guess what
gilligan's gonna let me do.
What?
He's gonna let me
belt him in the mouth again
so he can turn into a radio!
Oh, such heroism
shouldn't go unrewarded.
Oh, but I can't watch.
Oh, ginger!
Right up against this tree.
But, I I
Now
gilligan, Mary Ann just told me!
You're going to save our lives!
Yeah, I'm gonna get busted
right in the mouth.
I just always knew you had
your heart in the right place.
Take a look at my teeth. It's
the last time they'll be in right.
Guess she can't stand
the sight of blood, either.
Blood? One moment, captain!
Oh, please, Mrs. Howell, no more
argument now. We've made up our minds.
Oh, I wasn't going to argue.
I just want to remember him as he was.
Belt him good, captain.
Yes, Mrs. Howell.
Are you ready, little buddy?
Ready.
I'm not. Sure you are!
No, I'm not, gilligan.
The sun is in my eyes.
It's not in your eyes. It's in my eyes.
Well, maybe that's an idea.
Why don't you close your eyes?
Ok, skipper.
Hey, skipper?
Yes, gilligan?
Where are you going?
I was just going to wash my hands.
No, you weren't.
You're afraid to hit me
because I might hit you back.
Right, fatso?
Just a minute, gilligan!
That's nothing but muscle, and
I don't want you to ever forget it!
It's all fat, fatso!
Go ahead! Go ahead!
Oh, little buddy, I see
exactly what you're trying to do.
Thank you, thank you.
But we've got to
go through with this now.
Alright, line up. And close your eyes.
Sure, skipper.
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
If it's a clean blow, I'll reward
you both ears and a tail!
Thanks, Mr. Howell.
Both and a what?
Ole!
No, it's "timber"!
I invented it myself, lovey.
It's devilishly clever. But it's very simple.
You see, now when I shout to gilligan,
he opens the door.
This brings this hand that
holds his pointed little head,
releasing that heavy bag of coins.
Zing! Zow! And he is a radio again!
Oh, that's ingenious of you, darling!
Well, I always say, if
you want something done,
you've got to do it yourself!
Is that true, thurston?
I don't know. That's the
first thing I've ever done.
Oh, I'm so proud of you, dear.
Stand aside. There is
an element of danger.
I'll call the little nitwit.
Gilligan! Gilligan, come in here!
I'm kinda busy, Mr. Howell.
When I give an order, men jump!
Gross insub
gilligan!
Gilligan!
Gilligan!
Radio: In a moment,
the latest on the typhoon.
The typhoon took a severe easterly turn
an hour ago.
Radio: Creating terrible
What'd you say, gilligan?
It is now heading due east,
moving at 7 miles per hour.
Gilligan's tooth! He's a radio again!
You did it, little buddy! How'd you do it?
Never mind that now! The
typhoon is headed straight for us!
Well, what should we do?
Well, let's head for the cave.
Well, I'll get lovey!
I'll get the girls!
Alright, now women first.
Yes, yes, women first!
I said, women first!
Well, you can't expect ladies
to go into a dangerous cave
without a man to Blaze a trail!
Mr. Howell, there is
nothing in there but supplies.
Exactly. Now, come on, girls.
Watch it, lovey, at all times.
Alright, professor, you next!
No, but I have a reserved seat!
Alright, Mr. Howell, you go first.
I'll go first. That's right.
Watch it, lovey. I'm
coming through, dear.
Come on, gilligan!
Uh, step to the rear
of the bus, please, lovey.
Oh. Oh!
Oh, dear.
Mr. Howell, the 7 of us
will never fit in here.
Well, perhaps skipper
and gilligan like the fresh air.
We'll just have to take out
some of the supplies.
What if the typhoon starts?
We still have to take out the supplies.
Take out the supplies.
Lovey, would you give
me a hand with this
Well, that's the last of them.
Fine, professor. Alright, girls, in the cave.
Quickly. Move fast.
Mr. Howell, professor, go on,
get in there. In you go, gilligan.
[Piano concerto]
No back-talk. Get in the cave.
Ooh!
Yes.
Aah! Oww! Ohh!
Skipper: Can't you get in any farther?
The girls are squeezed
against the wall now.
Ginger: I'm as flat as I can be.
[Piano concerto]
Well, can't you Squeeze closer?
Perhaps if we all inhale.
1, 2, 3.
[All inhale]
It's no use. We'll have
to try another formation.
Skipper, can you get out now?
Watch it!
Gilligan, if you could get off my
Oh, gilligan!
Now, don't bruise Mrs. Howell.
I mean, after all
[Grunting]
That's really a tight
squeeze in there, isn't it?
It's just not big enough for all of us.
If I went in first, then you,
professor, then you, captain
Mr. Howell, that cave is just
not big enough for 7 people.
Well, perhaps a crash diet
high proteins, no bread, potatoes
One of us will is going to have to
stay outside and take his chances.
[Thunder]
Out here?
As the only married man,
I'd like to say something.
I'd like to say that
I'm the only married man.
As skipper around here, I'm
ordering everyone back in the cave.
I shall stay out here.
We haven't got time to decide
who's the most necessary
or most heroic.
I gave an order!
And I'm willing to obey that order!
Alright, we'll draw straws.
[Thunder]
The typhoon is almost upon us.
Must we make a decision immediately?
Yes, Mr. Howell, we must
make an immediate decision.
I know, but back home, we
usually have a board of directors.
Then we vote, then we
all go to the country.
And then sometimes, the proxies defer.
In that case, in a tie, lovey and I
Oh, by George! You're the
lucky one! The short one!
Ok, Mr. Howell, back in the cave.
Professor.
[Thunder]
Little buddy, you've
hardly got any ballast.
Hang on, now, and hang on real tight.
[Rock 'n' roll playing]
Good luck.
[Thunder]
Thurston, you were so brave to
draw straws with the rest of them.
You should've seen me.
I pushed them all aside
and demanded to draw first.
Ah. We'll keep this straw,
and put it in our family scrapbook.
After we have it gold-plated, of course.
It shall always be a treasured memento.
Wait a minute. Hold that straw up.
That's the short straw.
Gilligan's was shorter than mine.
Everybody hold their positions here.
I'm going back out.
[Thunder]
Gilligan, little buddy
You had a long straw
And you broke it in half. Why?
We were all on the up-and-up.
We were all taking the same chance.
[Rock 'n' roll playing]
[Thunder]
Ok, I understand. I'm the skipper, right?
The professor?
Well, the professor's important to us, too.
And Mr. Howell I know. He's married.
But what about you?
You're important, too.
Oh, come on. Look at all
the important things you do.
Well, once in a while, we get into trouble,
and you get us into more trouble.
No, gilligan, I know exactly
what you're trying to do,
but you know why I'm out here?
I'm gonna hang onto you, little buddy,
when that typhoon hits.
[Thunder]
Isn't there any way all
7 of us can fit in here?
Well, just so many
sardines will fit in a can.
Where are you going?
I, um I have claustrophobia.
Heavens, I hope it isn't catching.
Funny he should
suddenly remember that.
Yes.
Professor, I order you back in the cave!
After the storm.
Look, I'm out here.
I'll take care of gilligan.
I know you can, so I'll take care of you!
[Thunder]
Well, ladies, if you'll forgive me.
Oh, thurston!
I must, my dear.
Oh
Ohh!
[Thunder]
Mr. Howell!
I just stepped out for
a breath of fresh air.
Mr. Howell, why don't you go
back in and calm the women?
That's an interesting experiment.
We must explore it sometime, professor.
Thurston.
Oh! Oh, my dear! Lovey,
a storm is about to hit!
I know, thurston.
But it's a typhoon! I know, thurston!
And you'll be killed! You mean, we will!
Really, Mrs. Howell!
Oh, this is ridiculous!
That's what I told ginger!
It's kind of windy, isn't it?
Listen, if we're all going to stay out here,
let's see if we can find
ourselves some protection.
The crates! We'll use the crates!
Ok! That's it!
The crates!
[Thunder]
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Professor: It's completely destroyed!
Little buddy, we came out to save you,
and you saved us!
That electrical storm
certainly broke up the typhoon.
And fixed my tooth.
Wouldn't Benjamin Franklin have
been interested had he been here?
Who? Benjamin Franklin.
I don't remember anybody by
that name sailing on the minnow.
He experimented with
electricity 150 years ago.
Oh. Lucky thing he wasn't here with us.
Huh?
An old man like that could've
never lasted through the storm.
Benjamin Franklin was
Unless he worked out with dumbbells
and took vitamin pills and things like that.
Gilligan, Benjamin Franklin is dead.
Exactly. He's dead?!
I didn't even know he was sick.
Oh, what's the use, professor?
Will you start cleaning up the beach?!
They're here for a long, long time ♪
they'll have to make the best of things ♪
it's an uphill climb ♪
the first mate and his skipper, too ♪
will do their very best ♪
to make the others comfortable ♪
in their tropic island nest ♪
no phone ♪no light ♪no motor cars ♪
not a single luxury ♪
like Robinson crusoe ♪
it's primitive as can be ♪
so join us here each week, my friends ♪
you're sure to get a smile ♪
from seven stranded castaways ♪
here on gilligan's isle! ♪