Tom Goes to the Mayor (2004) s02e10 Episode Script
Friendship Alliance
0
Jefferton alive
Hi. I'm the Mayor,
and my door is always open for you!
Jefferton alive
My name is Tom Peters,
and I'm full of ideas.
Community spirit!
Hi. How are you?
Shopping!
Food!
Free to be, being free ♪
Jefferton alive
- Knock, knock. Hello?
- Yes, how can I help you?
Well, it's official.
- I'm a Grandpop.
- Fine.
- And, these are for you.
- Thank you, Tom.
Well, technically step-grandpop.
One of Joy's oldest daughters just gave birth.
We're callin' her Joy Minder Pepper Peters
after her grandmomma.
- Here's a recent picture.
- My God, what a beautiful baby.
Well, she's what they call a wolf-child.
Right.
Trouble is, I'm pretty allergic to her.
Unfortunately.
And you are?
- It's Tom Peters.
- Hey, Tom.
Sounds like you're gonna have to update your Friendship Alliance profile.
- Friendship Alliance?
- Let me just log in here.
Let's see here.
Single, married, divorced, grandpop.
Here we go, step-grandpop.
All right, all done.
Now we just play the waiting game.
"Hey Tom, I saw your profile on Friendship Alliance.
"What was I gonna tell you"
Oh, Gibbons!
"Will you add me as your friend?
Cool. Check ya later."
Gibbons, you're already my friend. Dummy.
Look at that!
"Hi Tom, you look like a super fun guy."
Cool!
"Let's meet up and hang out.
How about Sauceman's at 7?"
You hear that, little Joy?
Your grandpop-pop's got a new friend.
Hi John, can't wait to meet you.
P.S. I love Sauceman's!
Where do you go
to get all that sauce?
- Sauceman's!
- But what about the meat?
- Bring your own meat!
- What can I do with my meat?
- Dip it in the sauce!
- Dip it in the sauce!
That's great sauce!
Over 1,000 different sauce combinations
available at Sauceman's
family-sauce house style
Sauce House Restaurant.
Meat not included.
John?
- Tom?
- Guilty as charged.
Hey, Tommy!
- Take a seat.
- Thanks, John.
I hope you don't mind, I brought
some of my own meat from home.
Tom Peters in the flesh!
Man, just great to finally meet you.
By the way,
nice call with these sashes.
Thank you.
I just thought it would be
a nice way to spot each other in a crowded room, and
what the heck,
it's not a bad icebreaker either, right?
Yeah, I might wear mine all day.
And, if you don't mind me saying so,
you look very dashing in it as well.
Like a couple of dressed up gentlemen.
Where's me top hat, Tommy?
Oh, better get my walking stick
and my white spats.
Here we go again!
Oh, you kill me! Oh, man!
Look, I don't want to sound forward or anything, but
I think this is going really well.
I know. You know,
I didn't want to jinx it or anything but
- I think we're really hitting it off.
- You know what?
I usually do this alone but
why don't you come
deer hunting with me tonight?
Shoot, I'd love to.
Actually, I kind of frown on hunting but
- Frown on it?
- No, no. What I meant to say was
Joy and the boys
are with their stepdad this weekend
so I'm left babysitting little Joy
which it's tough on me anyway,
but Darn it!
Don't worry about it,
I don't know why I had to rush things.
I go hunting every night,
so let's just go tomorrow night.
Oh, thanks, John.
That's a load off my mind.
- I got this, John.
- Oh, no, I got it.
No, John, please
Tom, did you hear what I just said?
No. I got it.
No, I brought the meat,
I'm paying for it.
Tom! No!
OK?! I just said!
We're new friends but be cool.
Knock knock.
Mayor's office.
Who's there, please?
- Just, Tom Peters, checkin' in.
- Hey, Tom.
Well, I wanted to stop by and drop off this balloon bouquet
to thank you for setting me up
with the Friendship Alliance.
Don't worry about it, my pleasure.
I actually just met a really
wonderful man a few days ago.
Pardon moi.
Tom Peters' phone.
Tom, it's me.
Listen, I'm in big trouble.
- Who is this? John?
- Yeah! Who d'you think it is?
Mayor, you won't believe it,
it's my new friend John.
Speak of my devil. What is it, John?
Well
I was out deer hunting
and I saw this small creature
on top of this deer.
And I was like
"What the hell is going on?
This isn't right."
So, I took aim at that little critter
and just blew him away.
Think I've been bit by a bumblebee.
Well, I get up real close to the thing
and, Tom, I think it's a small man.
Sorta like child-size,
but it had a beard.
A really horrible-smelling beard.
- Oh, no. Gibbons!
- What's that about Gibbons?
And now it's not breathing,
and I don't know what to do, man!
Sorry to lay this on you, Tom,
but I am freaking out here, man!
You don't say, John.
That's so funny.
What?! What are you talking about?
It's not funny!
What?
You silly goose, come on!
Meet me at my house later, OK?
- You're so great. Bye now.
- Tom!
- What was that all about?
- No, nothing.
John was just telling me a funny story.
Great, I love stories.
- Oh, man, I am so screwed.
- All right, just relax, OK?
Let me fix you
a warm glass of diet ice tea.
I just got a new box of powder, so
OK, now where's that creature you shot?
- I buried him.
- What?! He's dead?!
Think so, I don't know. Maybe.
Probably not, though. Man!
I'm freakin' out again!
Hold on, we can figure this out.
That's what friends are for.
Now tell me, did this man have a big, bushy beard
that kinda smelled like horse manure or a dead animal?
Yeah, like a garbage can before you rinse it out.
- How did you know?
- It's my friend, Gibbons.
He loves to ride deer at night.
I'm gonna miss my old friend.
I'm sorry, man!
Hey, guys. Mind if I pop in?
- John, stop it.
- This hurts.
- C'mon, John, put the lamp down.
- My head!
John, that's my friend you're hitting.
John, please stop.
John?!
Oh, my God!
What did I do?! I did it again!
Oh, Tom, I'm so sorry!
All right, calm down.
We can fix this.
- We just need to get him to a hospital.
- Tom, we can't!
They will know I shot a man
and buried him alive.
They'll throw me away for life.
- But he's bleeding, John!
- Tom, we're best friends!
It's game time.
I've got the duck tape out of my bag, let's go.
D'you have any rat nap?
This oughta keep the little bugger quiet for a while.
Open your mouth. Come on. Come on.
It's just bitter for a second.
John, this really isn't necessary.
We have to do this!
We need time to figure this out,
this is the only way.
My God, it's the Mayor,
he's gonna know.
Tom, don't say a word.
I'm warning you.
No, John, now this has gone too far.
I'm gonna tell him, OK?
The Mayor is my friend and so is Gibbons.
Can't let you do that, friend.
I told you, no!
Why doesn't anybody listen to me?!
Not in front of my step-granddaughter!
She shouldn't see this.
Hello. Who's there,please?
What do you want?
Where's the man who lives here?
- He's walkin' the baby.
- I love that little baby.
Have you seen my friend Gibbons?
He missed jumping class this morning.
I'm a little concerned.
No. Listen, you better go away.
Haven't seen him.
OK. But if you do hear from my Gibbs,
please let me know.
OK. I gotta go take a crap
so I won't be near the door
I won't be able to hear you any more.
So, you should probably leave.
What the heck is?
Oh, my God, that's Gibbons' beard.
What is goin' on here?
I taste rat nap on my lips.
And I can't feel my legs.
I don't wanna sound like a monkey's uncle,
but if you weren't riding on top of a deer
we wouldn't be in this pickle jar.
Little Joy,
shut your hairy mouth, OK?! Freak!
Gibbons, are you in there?
I smell you, Gibbons!
Will you two keep it down in here?
What?!
Excuse me, sir, I think
I smell my friend's beard in here.
- I was using the bathroom
- No, I can recognize that stench.
- Well, he's not here.
- Sir, please let me in.
Well, I can't No.
I'm house-sitting and they told me,
"Don't let anyone in."
Gibbons!
Gibbs, let me take a look at you.
Gibbons. Oh, man.
You look just like
a little snapper turtle.
I missed that beard so much.
Lights out!
No one listens to me!
Had to come in the door!
Had to come in! Had to know!
What was I gonna?
Oh yeah, Gibbons has to pee-pee.
Should I just go here
or do you have a place
where you put it?
Just go ahead and pee in your pants, boobs.
That's what I've been doing.
I'm sorry, guys, this is all my fault, you know?
Meetin' my new pal in Friendship Alliance
made me forget about my old friends.
Right.
Listen, man, I'm so sorry things turned out this way.
It's OK, John,
I understand, you know?
Sometimes friendship
can be real hard work.
Oh, God, this is awful!
What did I do? What di--
What am I supposed to do now?
I can't control my temper.
I know what I would do
if I were in your boots.
What?
Well, I'd give us a concentrated dose of rat nap.
That would knock us out for a couple of weeks.
And then I would pack a bag and get the heck outta town.
When Joy gets back in couple of weeks
she can wake us up
with some Revive-A-Rat.
- I love you, Gibbons.
- Now get outta here.
What about your step-granddaughter?
Who's gonna care for her?
- You really wanna be a friend?
- You know it.
Take her, John.
Take her.
Abso-lutely.
Jefferton alive
Hi. I'm the Mayor,
and my door is always open for you!
Jefferton alive
My name is Tom Peters,
and I'm full of ideas.
Community spirit!
Hi. How are you?
Shopping!
Food!
Free to be, being free ♪
Jefferton alive
- Knock, knock. Hello?
- Yes, how can I help you?
Well, it's official.
- I'm a Grandpop.
- Fine.
- And, these are for you.
- Thank you, Tom.
Well, technically step-grandpop.
One of Joy's oldest daughters just gave birth.
We're callin' her Joy Minder Pepper Peters
after her grandmomma.
- Here's a recent picture.
- My God, what a beautiful baby.
Well, she's what they call a wolf-child.
Right.
Trouble is, I'm pretty allergic to her.
Unfortunately.
And you are?
- It's Tom Peters.
- Hey, Tom.
Sounds like you're gonna have to update your Friendship Alliance profile.
- Friendship Alliance?
- Let me just log in here.
Let's see here.
Single, married, divorced, grandpop.
Here we go, step-grandpop.
All right, all done.
Now we just play the waiting game.
"Hey Tom, I saw your profile on Friendship Alliance.
"What was I gonna tell you"
Oh, Gibbons!
"Will you add me as your friend?
Cool. Check ya later."
Gibbons, you're already my friend. Dummy.
Look at that!
"Hi Tom, you look like a super fun guy."
Cool!
"Let's meet up and hang out.
How about Sauceman's at 7?"
You hear that, little Joy?
Your grandpop-pop's got a new friend.
Hi John, can't wait to meet you.
P.S. I love Sauceman's!
Where do you go
to get all that sauce?
- Sauceman's!
- But what about the meat?
- Bring your own meat!
- What can I do with my meat?
- Dip it in the sauce!
- Dip it in the sauce!
That's great sauce!
Over 1,000 different sauce combinations
available at Sauceman's
family-sauce house style
Sauce House Restaurant.
Meat not included.
John?
- Tom?
- Guilty as charged.
Hey, Tommy!
- Take a seat.
- Thanks, John.
I hope you don't mind, I brought
some of my own meat from home.
Tom Peters in the flesh!
Man, just great to finally meet you.
By the way,
nice call with these sashes.
Thank you.
I just thought it would be
a nice way to spot each other in a crowded room, and
what the heck,
it's not a bad icebreaker either, right?
Yeah, I might wear mine all day.
And, if you don't mind me saying so,
you look very dashing in it as well.
Like a couple of dressed up gentlemen.
Where's me top hat, Tommy?
Oh, better get my walking stick
and my white spats.
Here we go again!
Oh, you kill me! Oh, man!
Look, I don't want to sound forward or anything, but
I think this is going really well.
I know. You know,
I didn't want to jinx it or anything but
- I think we're really hitting it off.
- You know what?
I usually do this alone but
why don't you come
deer hunting with me tonight?
Shoot, I'd love to.
Actually, I kind of frown on hunting but
- Frown on it?
- No, no. What I meant to say was
Joy and the boys
are with their stepdad this weekend
so I'm left babysitting little Joy
which it's tough on me anyway,
but Darn it!
Don't worry about it,
I don't know why I had to rush things.
I go hunting every night,
so let's just go tomorrow night.
Oh, thanks, John.
That's a load off my mind.
- I got this, John.
- Oh, no, I got it.
No, John, please
Tom, did you hear what I just said?
No. I got it.
No, I brought the meat,
I'm paying for it.
Tom! No!
OK?! I just said!
We're new friends but be cool.
Knock knock.
Mayor's office.
Who's there, please?
- Just, Tom Peters, checkin' in.
- Hey, Tom.
Well, I wanted to stop by and drop off this balloon bouquet
to thank you for setting me up
with the Friendship Alliance.
Don't worry about it, my pleasure.
I actually just met a really
wonderful man a few days ago.
Pardon moi.
Tom Peters' phone.
Tom, it's me.
Listen, I'm in big trouble.
- Who is this? John?
- Yeah! Who d'you think it is?
Mayor, you won't believe it,
it's my new friend John.
Speak of my devil. What is it, John?
Well
I was out deer hunting
and I saw this small creature
on top of this deer.
And I was like
"What the hell is going on?
This isn't right."
So, I took aim at that little critter
and just blew him away.
Think I've been bit by a bumblebee.
Well, I get up real close to the thing
and, Tom, I think it's a small man.
Sorta like child-size,
but it had a beard.
A really horrible-smelling beard.
- Oh, no. Gibbons!
- What's that about Gibbons?
And now it's not breathing,
and I don't know what to do, man!
Sorry to lay this on you, Tom,
but I am freaking out here, man!
You don't say, John.
That's so funny.
What?! What are you talking about?
It's not funny!
What?
You silly goose, come on!
Meet me at my house later, OK?
- You're so great. Bye now.
- Tom!
- What was that all about?
- No, nothing.
John was just telling me a funny story.
Great, I love stories.
- Oh, man, I am so screwed.
- All right, just relax, OK?
Let me fix you
a warm glass of diet ice tea.
I just got a new box of powder, so
OK, now where's that creature you shot?
- I buried him.
- What?! He's dead?!
Think so, I don't know. Maybe.
Probably not, though. Man!
I'm freakin' out again!
Hold on, we can figure this out.
That's what friends are for.
Now tell me, did this man have a big, bushy beard
that kinda smelled like horse manure or a dead animal?
Yeah, like a garbage can before you rinse it out.
- How did you know?
- It's my friend, Gibbons.
He loves to ride deer at night.
I'm gonna miss my old friend.
I'm sorry, man!
Hey, guys. Mind if I pop in?
- John, stop it.
- This hurts.
- C'mon, John, put the lamp down.
- My head!
John, that's my friend you're hitting.
John, please stop.
John?!
Oh, my God!
What did I do?! I did it again!
Oh, Tom, I'm so sorry!
All right, calm down.
We can fix this.
- We just need to get him to a hospital.
- Tom, we can't!
They will know I shot a man
and buried him alive.
They'll throw me away for life.
- But he's bleeding, John!
- Tom, we're best friends!
It's game time.
I've got the duck tape out of my bag, let's go.
D'you have any rat nap?
This oughta keep the little bugger quiet for a while.
Open your mouth. Come on. Come on.
It's just bitter for a second.
John, this really isn't necessary.
We have to do this!
We need time to figure this out,
this is the only way.
My God, it's the Mayor,
he's gonna know.
Tom, don't say a word.
I'm warning you.
No, John, now this has gone too far.
I'm gonna tell him, OK?
The Mayor is my friend and so is Gibbons.
Can't let you do that, friend.
I told you, no!
Why doesn't anybody listen to me?!
Not in front of my step-granddaughter!
She shouldn't see this.
Hello. Who's there,please?
What do you want?
Where's the man who lives here?
- He's walkin' the baby.
- I love that little baby.
Have you seen my friend Gibbons?
He missed jumping class this morning.
I'm a little concerned.
No. Listen, you better go away.
Haven't seen him.
OK. But if you do hear from my Gibbs,
please let me know.
OK. I gotta go take a crap
so I won't be near the door
I won't be able to hear you any more.
So, you should probably leave.
What the heck is?
Oh, my God, that's Gibbons' beard.
What is goin' on here?
I taste rat nap on my lips.
And I can't feel my legs.
I don't wanna sound like a monkey's uncle,
but if you weren't riding on top of a deer
we wouldn't be in this pickle jar.
Little Joy,
shut your hairy mouth, OK?! Freak!
Gibbons, are you in there?
I smell you, Gibbons!
Will you two keep it down in here?
What?!
Excuse me, sir, I think
I smell my friend's beard in here.
- I was using the bathroom
- No, I can recognize that stench.
- Well, he's not here.
- Sir, please let me in.
Well, I can't No.
I'm house-sitting and they told me,
"Don't let anyone in."
Gibbons!
Gibbs, let me take a look at you.
Gibbons. Oh, man.
You look just like
a little snapper turtle.
I missed that beard so much.
Lights out!
No one listens to me!
Had to come in the door!
Had to come in! Had to know!
What was I gonna?
Oh yeah, Gibbons has to pee-pee.
Should I just go here
or do you have a place
where you put it?
Just go ahead and pee in your pants, boobs.
That's what I've been doing.
I'm sorry, guys, this is all my fault, you know?
Meetin' my new pal in Friendship Alliance
made me forget about my old friends.
Right.
Listen, man, I'm so sorry things turned out this way.
It's OK, John,
I understand, you know?
Sometimes friendship
can be real hard work.
Oh, God, this is awful!
What did I do? What di--
What am I supposed to do now?
I can't control my temper.
I know what I would do
if I were in your boots.
What?
Well, I'd give us a concentrated dose of rat nap.
That would knock us out for a couple of weeks.
And then I would pack a bag and get the heck outta town.
When Joy gets back in couple of weeks
she can wake us up
with some Revive-A-Rat.
- I love you, Gibbons.
- Now get outta here.
What about your step-granddaughter?
Who's gonna care for her?
- You really wanna be a friend?
- You know it.
Take her, John.
Take her.
Abso-lutely.