Your Friends & Neighbors (2025) s02e10 Episode Script

1
[smoke alarm blaring]
[clattering]
[Barney] Fuck.
[exhales sharply] Fuck. [grunts]
- [blaring stops]
- [clatters]
- [Coop] Are you sure he's dead?
- He had no pulse.
[stammers] Check again.
[Barney sniffs]
Nothing.
- Is he breathing?
- He's not breathing.
- You didn't even check.
- I don't have to check!
Dead people don't breathe!
- I'm calling 911.
- What? No. Hang on, hang on.
Look. We need to… We need
to make sure we get our story straight.
There's no story.
We gotta call 911 right now.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. But Barney's right.
I mean, this… this does not look good.
Yeah. And the longer we wait,
the worse it looks.
- It was self-defense, he pulled a gun.
- I-It was three against one.
- He had a fucking gun!
- Yeah, fine, I know.
- I'm… Just calm down, all right?
- What do you mean, "Calm down?"
What we need to do is call 911
right the fuck now.
Or should we call a lawyer?
- Kat Resnick.
- [Coop] Not that…
- [Nick] Yes!
- No. No. That's a bad idea.
- She beat a murder rap for you.
- Because I didn't do it.
Well, we didn't do this.
- We didn't not do it.
- Fuck this. I'm definitely calling 911.
- No. No.
- What the fuck?
I'm not getting arrested again!
I almost went to prison for years
and I wasn't even there when Paul died!
This time, I hate to break it to you,
we were all in the room!
- It was an accident.
- Yeah. An accident with a gun, Nick!
I'm sorry. But I am not going down
for another death that is not on me!
Now you sound pretty… He's… He's crazy.
He… You… You know he's crazy, right?
He's not crazy.
What?
Coop was handling his money.
Ashe was investing in your gym.
We all… We all had dealings with him.
- So what?
- So it's not a slam dunk.
- And you're a celebrity.
- Again, so what?
They'll go out of their way to make sure
you don't get any special treatment.
Me? Why me? You're the one
who clocked him on the fucking head.
- You set him on fire!
- I set him on fire!
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I'm just saying how it might look.
That's all I'm saying.
You know what? Fuck this.
I'm out.
[sighs]
[sighs]
Fuck!
[Barney] We have a decision to make.
And once we make it,
we have to stick to it. Coop's right.
We get an aggressive,
ambitious prosecutor,
he won't care about the truth,
he'll care about getting a win.
Nick, your being here changes this
from a local story to a national one.
The media will eat it up.
Your TV career will be over.
I'll be toast, and Coop…
Okay, we get it.
We've all got a lot to lose.
We're all in this together.
You guys are my best friends.
And I'll stick to whatever you decide.
But whatever we do here…
we have to do it together.
Okay.
So, anyone know
where we can get rid of a body?
[groans] Ah, shit.
[exhales deeply]
[Barney] Coop, what's wrong?
I was just thinking about his daughter.
Oh, damn. I forgot about that.
Yeah. She's at Mel's tonight. She didn't
want to be here for his date with Sam.
[inhales deeply] She's gonna wake up
without a father.
[exhales deeply]
If it means anything,
I don't think they were very close.
Yeah, that sounded shitty. Sorry.
[Coop exhales deeply]
Does it really change anything?
Maybe we should just leave him here?
He was drunk and high and he fell down.
Mmm. I don't know, man.
We all fought with him.
They'll find our DNA
under his fingernails or something.
We could put him in a bath.
I don't think there's any version of this
where he doesn't look like
he's been killed.
And I'm not leaving his body here
for his daughter to find tomorrow.
Okay. Okay.
So we take him out to Lewisboro,
and we drop him in the river
before the sun comes up.
Damn.
Yeah, that sounded shitty too. Okay.
- [inhales deeply] Let's go get him.
- [Coop exhales deeply]
- [sighs]
- [Barney sniffs]
You wanna jump in here?
Grab a limb?
I just had the vasectomy.
I can't do any heavy lifting for a week.
Seriously?
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know
we'd be moving a body tonight.
All right, man.
Wow. On three.
Yeah.
- Jesus.
- All right. Ready? One, two, three.
- [grunts] All right. I'm good.
- [groans]
[Coop grunts] Barney, go get your car.
Pull it around.
[Barney] No, no, no.
You know how absorbent that leather is?
- [sighs]
- Are you serious right now?
It's evidence, all right?
I don't want his blood in my car.
Well, mine is too small. What do you think
we're gonna do? Call a fucking Uber?
- [Barney] We didn't think this through.
- No shit.
It's fine. We'll take Ashe's Escalade.
[theme song playing]
A paper shadow
In a house of stone ♪
The wooden flag
Of a drifting dreamboat ♪
I never knew
How far the ride was gonna go ♪
Till I looked back
At the smoke ♪
You can't keep up
With the Joneses ♪
Don't wanna run
For the roses ♪
I got my pocket of posies ♪
Sometimes I wonder why ♪
Sometimes I wonder why ♪
I just don't run
With the Joneses ♪
Don't wanna smell
The dying roses ♪
I got my pocket
Full of posies ♪
I don't keep up
With the Joneses ♪
- [Coop] Sam, wait.
- You get away from me, Coop.
Listen to me. Listen. Just let me explain.
It's not what it looks like.
It doesn't look like anything because
I didn't see it, 'cause I was never here.
[Coop] Hey. Come on, come on, come on.
- Wait. No. Are you kidding me?
- Please, please, please.
Look, I know it's a lot, okay?
Ashe is dead?
Yes.
Oh, my God.
- And you guys killed him?
- No, we didn't kill him.
No, we didn't… Not on purpose.
Oh, well, that's okay then.
Okay. Hey. Come on.
- Get out of my way.
- Just give me a second. Please.
I-I need to tell you what happened.
No! You don't need
to tell me what happened,
because I don't want
to know what happened,
because if you tell me
what happened then that makes me…
[stammers] …complicit.
Or an accessory, or whatever.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. I'm gonna be a suspect.
- No.
Of course I'm gonna be a suspect,
'cause this is… This… the second man
I've been with who got killed…
- Well, technically, Paul killed himself.
- I mean…
They're gonna arrest me, and I-I-I'm gonna
have to go through this all over again!
You're freaking out,
which is totally understandable.
What is it about me that
I keep getting myself into these messes?
I mean, I'm not so different
from everyone else, am I?
And why does every relationship I have
lead to criminal charges?
I mean, what am I doing wrong?
I ask myself the exact same question.
You're right.
They are gonna look at you too,
and you actually did it.
- I didn't do anything.
- No, I saw you carrying the body.
Well, I-I… Yes, I did that, but there were
mitigating circumstances obviously.
- Oh, my God.
- Can I just please say something?
No!
Okay, yes.
What are you gonna tell me that
will somehow make this better?
- Well, define "better."
- Oh, my God!
[sighs] Listen.
Hey. Listen.
[exhales deeply]
Look, he was high on coke and ketamine
and he tried to shoot me.
- Jesus.
- Yeah.
Things got a little crazy.
Anyway, he slipped and fell
and hit his head.
You didn't call an ambulance?
Well, we should've. Yeah.
But, obviously,
things didn't look great for us.
No, I guess not.
I was actually coming here
to break up with him.
Well, uh…
One less thing to worry about.
[Samantha chuckles]
They're gonna investigate me.
I mean, I got a rap sheet.
No. You do not… You didn't do anything.
It doesn't matter.
It's all anyone will talk about.
I just got out of exile.
I just started getting listings.
It's… it's gonna be such a mess.
Well…
- [sighs]
- …what if it never comes to that?
No body, no suspicious murder.
Just a shady billionaire
who went off and disappeared
for his own shady reasons.
Because what could possibly go wrong?
I'm really hoping nothing more.
Are we terrible people, Coop?
I think I'm a good person,
but maybe I'm wrong.
I mean, m-maybe terrible people don't know
they're terrible people.
And then we live in this terrible town
doing terrible things to each other
and that's our punishment.
Punishment for what?
For being terrible.
Where were you gonna go? With the body?
Upstate. The river.
The river's a bad idea.
You got any better ones?
The Crosby house on Sutherland.
It's a knockdown.
I brought Maggie and Suzanne there
to do it.
They dug the pool.
They are pouring concrete next week.
You bury him there,
they pour the concrete.
Oh.
Uh…
Thanks, Sam.
Yeah.
Don't mention it.
- Okay.
- Seriously. Like, ever.
- [groans] Okay. All right. [groans]
- Yep. Jesus Christ. [groans]
- [Nick] You good?
- [Coop grunts] Yeah, I'm good. Good.
- Oh.
- Fuck! Oh!
- [Nick] Oh, shit.
- What? What happened?
- [grunting] It's my back. Jesus.
- [Nick] No way.
Guess I'm moving three dead bodies.
[Coop grunts] Jesus Christ.
[Nick] Oh, shit.
- [Nick grunts]
- [Coop groaning]
- Ah, fuck.
- [Nick groans]
[groans]
[ominous music playing]
[Barney] Ashe! What the fuck? [grunts]
[tires squealing]
- [Coop grunts]
- Oh, my God!
What? Wh… Hey, what are you doing?
- There, you motherfucker!
- Whoa!
[Nick] Come on.
[clamoring, grunting continues]
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit!
[grunting, whimpering]
[grunts] Come on.
- [shouts]
- Oh, shit!
[tires squealing]
[all scream]
[clamoring]
- [Coop] Get the fuck out! Get out… Get…
- [Barney] Help.
[gasping] Oh, shit. [breathes heavily]
- Where's Barney?
- Barney!
Barney!
Oh, fuck.
[both panting, grunting]
- [gasps]
- Shit.
- Oh, Barney. Shit.
- Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ.
- Okay. I got you. I got you.
- [breathes heavily]
Ashe?
- Do you see him?
- I don't think he made it out.
- Oh, shit. Come on.
- [grunting]
[Barney] Let's fuck outta here.
[Coop] Yeah. [panting]
[Nick] You think anyone will find him?
I mean, that was pretty deep.
Maybe it really just ends here.
You could be right.
Even if they do find him,
there's nothing to trace it back to us.
He got fucked up and drove into the lake.
Open and shut. [sighs]
Exactly.
Except he's in the back seat.
["Mad World" playing]
All around me are familiar faces ♪
Worn out places, worn out faces ♪
Bright and early for the daily races ♪
Going nowhere, going nowhere ♪
Their tears
Are filling up their glasses ♪
No expression, no expression ♪
Hide my head
I wanna drown my sorrow ♪
No tomorrow, no tomorrow ♪
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad ♪
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had ♪
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take ♪
When people run in circles ♪
It's a very, very mad world ♪
- [gasps]
- [gasps]
Mad world ♪
Children waiting for the day
They feel good ♪
Happy birthday ♪
[Coop] Shock is a funny thing.
Sometimes it's so subtle,
so carefully integrated
into your mental survival process,
that you don't even know you're in it.
Other times,
it lands on you like a fucking anvil.
The three of us crossed a line
that night and we knew it.
Whether or not we'd get away
with it remained to be seen.
We shared a secret now.
A big one.
And I was reminded
of an old Ben Franklin quote,
"Three can keep a secret…
if two of them are dead."
[music continues]
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad ♪
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had ♪
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take ♪
When people run in circles ♪
It's a very, very mad world ♪
Mad world ♪
[music ends]
[Gordy]
I'm telling you, someone killed him.
I mean, who just disappears like that?
Or maybe he just needed to get
away from it all for a little while.
I mean, don't you guys ever just
wanna not go home for a week or so?
He wasn't married.
Fair point.
I just can't believe we're all
sitting here dealing with another murder.
Paul was a suicide, it's not the same.
[Peter]
Well, no way did Ashe kill himself.
We don't know that he's even dead.
Hmm. He's got a teenage daughter.
He wouldn't just leave her.
[Brad] Unless he was in trouble.
I mean, I liked the guy and all,
but he was a pretty shady character.
Yeah, I heard
he was some kind of arms dealer.
I heard that too.
Anyone else here get a visit from the FBI?
- Yep.
- I did.
- Yeah.
- Did you get that woman?
[chuckles, coughs]
[Brad] Agent Isles.
- [Coop] Mmm. I had her.
- [Hari] Yeah, me too.
She was really obnoxious.
Gretchen almost took a swing at her.
[chuckles]
I thought she was kinda hot.
- I can see that. [chuckles]
- Right? [chuckles]
No, but seriously, Ashe probably
dealt with a lot of dangerous people.
You guys were at his place in the Hamptons
when the FBI raided it, weren't you?
[Coop] Yeah. That was something.
He didn't seem too fazed by it.
[Brad] What about you, Barney?
Any theories?
I think a guy with that kind of money
wants to disappear, he can disappear.
[breathes heavily]
Or else it's karma.
You don't get to be that rich and handsome
without paying for it
somewhere along the line.
[Brad] Well, whatever happened,
it's gonna come out.
It always does.
[groans] It's getting too hot in here.
[groans] Shit.
[breathing heavily]
What's with him?
Hey, wasn't Ashe gonna invest in his gyms?
He approached us about it,
but I don't know how serious he was.
Well, if he ever comes back,
he'll probably throw one hell of a party.
- That's for sure.
- Right? [laughs]
- [friends laughing]
- [Peter] He was insane.
Remember the violin? [laughs]
[friends clamoring, speaking indistinctly]
I haven't cried.
Is that bad?
No, it's not.
There's no right way
for you to be feeling right now.
You and your dad had
a complicated relationship.
It's a complicated situation.
It's… It's gonna take some time
to process that, you know?
I mean, I loved him because I had to,
but most of the time I hated him.
Well,
a lot of teenagers hate their parents.
Talk to my kids.
This is different.
I don't remember when I first realized,
but I've known for a while now
that he was a bad guy.
He did bad things.
Maybe. Maybe.
But, you know, that doesn't mean that
you-you can't still love him or miss him.
They won't even say he's dead.
- Well, they… they don't know.
- I do.
If he was going on the run
for some reason, he'd have taken me.
I would've hated him for it.
Listen, I-I know I'm a lot older than you,
but I did just lose my dad too,
and it's the first thing
I think about every day.
I wake up thinking about it in fact.
That's grief.
But it's also comfort,
because he's-he's still with me.
He's still in me.
And that's the thing about parents,
you now?
Even when they are gone,
they're still with you.
I guess I have to go.
Yeah. Okay.
Oh. [sighs]
[Mel] You sure you have everything?
- Yes.
- Okay.
Thank you for letting me
stay here for so long.
Of course. We loved having you.
I mean, under the circumstances.
And you're welcome here anytime.
Call us if you need anything.
- Thanks.
- Passport?
- Ticket? Phone? You have everything?
- Yes.
Okay. And I-I made you a lunch
because, you know, plane food.
It's in your carry-on.
- Right. See you. Safe travels.
- Thanks, Mel.
[laughs]
I warned you she was going to be a lot.
She's fine. You should give her a break.
I'll miss you.
Me too.
Are you gonna be okay?
Honestly, I've lived with my aunt
more than my father.
We have a good thing going.
- That's not what I meant.
- I know.
[sighing]
Poor thing.
- Thanks for letting her stay with us.
- Of course.
You think she'll be back junior year?
[Hunter] Her aunt says she's open to it.
How about you, buddy?
How are you holding up?
I'm okay.
What do you think happened to her father?
Kiddo, I got no idea.
Apparently, he had a lot of enemies.
Who knows?
Maybe he'll turn up.
[whispers] You think so?
No, honey. I don't.
[engine revving]
You going somewhere?
Does it have something to do with Ashe?
Honestly,
that was just the icing on the cake.
You have any place in mind?
I haven't gotten that far yet.
First I have to see what I can get
for the suicide house.
They say it shaves
a quarter off the value.
Are you sure?
Yeah, well, there
are some statistics that…
No, no, no.
I mean, are you sure about leaving?
Oh. Uh…
I'm not sure about anything these days.
Did you-you ever hear the expression,
"We've just seen the elephant's tail?"
It's like the tip of the iceberg?
No. I'm gonna butcher it,
but it's something like,
if you see the elephant's tail,
that means the elephant is almost gone.
And who is the elephant in this parable?
All the shit that you've been
through over the last year and change.
And it feels like maybe you're leaving
right when it's about to get good again.
[chuckles] That is maybe the least
cynical thing I've ever heard you say.
Wow. Look at me. I don't know. It's…
You-You have a home here.
You have people here, you know?
Do I? And do you?
Do any of us?
I mean, they were so quick
to write me off.
And not just me, my kids too.
There's something
about this town that makes you feel like
you're one crappy day away
from being kicked to the curb.
The only thing worse than living in
the fish bowl is being tossed out of it.
You really think
it'll be better someplace else?
I think maybe I'd be better
somewhere else.
Somewhere where the cost of entry
isn't so steep
you sell your soul
just to get through the door.
[sighs] Is that how you really feel?
That you sold your soul?
At a discount.
Don't you?
I-I mean,
maybe I pawned it a couple times.
[chuckles]
Well, let's see what I get for the house.
Speaking of which,
I may have found what you asked for.
- Oh, you… you found her?
- Yeah.
Well, only two one-bedroom
apartments were rented this last month.
Can you text me the cheaper of the two?
You got it.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I have to go.
I'll see you.
Hey.
There's always another elephant.
Tell me about it.
[sighs]
[Coop] Ashe's death was a tragic accident.
But it had given me a way
out of the trap I'd been in.
Six hundred million back to Ashe's estate.
I'd return the other 400 million
once Jack got it out of Excelsior.
If Sam was right, that I'd sold my soul,
I figured a billion dollars
should buy at least a piece of it back.
Thank you so much.
- Hi!
- Hi! How are you?
- It's so good to see you.
- You look the same.
- Oh, my God. So do you.
- Wow!
[gasps] You look great.
Thank you. Listen, thanks for taking
the time to meet with me.
- I know how… how busy you are and…
- No, never too busy for an old friend.
Besides, I'm so excited to see you
so passionate about writing again.
Back in college
you were such a great writer.
Thank you.
So I read your chapters…
It's the first draft and I am working on
restructuring it and I will be quiet now.
This is very well written.
It is intuitive,
it's smart and it's boring.
Uh, well, don't sugarcoat it.
It's just missing… [sighs]
…a reason to exist, you know?
I had thought that books
on menopause were all the rage.
They were.
Now they're not.
Well, shit. [laughs]
Can I be blunt with you?
That… What, that wasn't blunt?
I know what you went through
last year when they arrested Coop.
I mean, the fear, the betrayal,
the sexual politics of it all…
Yeah, it was… it was a lot.
And that's the book you need to write.
What?
Yeah.
No, but…
That's my family, my life.
Can't do that.
True crime, sex, murder in the suburbs.
- Wasn't murder, actually.
- I can sell the shit out of that book.
[Mel] Sorry.
I can't do that.
I get it.
You might not have the stomach for it.
Most people don't.
But you're a good writer, Mel.
If you change your mind,
you know where to find me.
Look, man, the cops are looking for Ashe.
The FBI and Interpol are sniffing around.
I'm not touching
any of the gym accounting right now.
No one's looking at your books.
Look, you don't know
who's looking at what.
[Coop] Okay, but either way,
the numbers aren't significant enough
to generate any red flags.
They were significant enough
for you to want to hide them in there.
As I said, it was an error in judgement.
My company isn't
your private bank, Barney.
Okay, hold… just hold on…
Barney didn't take
one cent out of the gym.
And you're not going to now.
Not until all this blows over.
You know what? I'ma go take a shower.
Hey, we-we were going to get dinner.
You, uh, you wanna come?
Nah, you guys go without me.
[Coop] You sure, buddy?
Is he okay?
He's pretty freaked out.
- What about you?
- I'm just doing what I always do.
Just roll all my anxieties into a ball
and push it deep down into my intestines
and then do my best
to pretend it's not there.
- Hey, that's what I do.
- It's the best way.
- That's the only way.
- Hey. How'd it go?
We are working on it.
[sighs] Great.
I feel much better now.
Look, until Ashe resurfaces,
it's too risky to move that money.
What about the baseball card?
- A-Any day now.
- [speaks Spanish]
[in English] You got me into this mess.
Can you front me and then you
can just keep it when you get it back?
Yeah, I-I thought about that,
but a sum that large,
my wife will see it and then
she'll want an explanation.
You never lied to your wife?
I'm a very bad liar.
[Elena] What about you?
I'm a great liar.
What? Come on, you and me
are in the same boat.
We're not in the same boat.
[scoffs]
Man, it must be nice to be you guys.
You just…
You can't get your money so you
just dip into your other pocket,
grab a whole bunch of your other
money until the first money is ready.
What are you… There's no pockets.
Fucking white people.
I know, right? [laughs]
Oh, you're whiter than he is
and that's saying something.
Hey, Coop.
What about, uh, all that Ashe money
that didn't go into the fund?
Technically, you still
have discretion, right?
We could just grab a few hundred
thousand and structure it as a loan maybe.
No.
What do you m…
Oh, God. Tell me you didn't.
I did.
You sent back
600 million dollars just like that?
600 million dollars?
You had that this whole time?
- It was actually a little over a billion.
- Are you kidding me?
- It wasn't my money.
- None of it's your money.
- We're fucking thieves!
- Hey! Wanna keep your voice down?
What the fuck did you guys do to Nick?
- What?
- What do you… What do you mean?
I mean, he's walking around
like in some sad daze
like-like he doesn't know
what to do with himself.
Oh, he and Ashe were really friendly.
I-I think he's still grieving.
You're right.
You are a bad liar.
I'm in trouble here, Coop.
Look, Elena, we will get you
your money, I promise.
It's just gonna take a little time.
I'm out of time.
[breathing heavily]
[knocking on door]
Are you kidding me?
I was…
nowhere near your neighborhood.
Come on, I just missed you.
It's almost midnight.
[Coop] Yeah, so I knew you'd be up.
How'd you find me?
Sibling telepathy.
[sucks teeth]
Well, you should've called first.
Yeah, well, you're not taking my calls.
Well, exactly.
[Coop sighs]
Are you okay?
Yeah…
No, not really.
Maid's day off. Yada yada yada.
You want some tea or something?
Sure.
Oh, I don't have any.
This is nice.
You think so?
I'm still putting it together.
- Is that Dad's TV?
- Mm-hmm.
Mom didn't want it.
[groans]
[sighs]
You want to talk about it?
Not particularly, no.
Every time I feel like I've found myself,
I-I turn around
and realize I am more lost than ever.
It's like I'm in this dream
and I cannot wake up.
Well, maybe it's just your turn
to face the strange.
[sighs] What?
You know?
Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes ♪
- That's the lyric? Seriously?
- Mm-hmm.
I had no idea.
Anyway, you've been living a very
conventional life for a very long time,
and no one gets through this
without having to face the strange.
You really find out who you are.
And I guess now's your time.
I know you're not a bad person, but it
doesn't mean you couldn't be better.
Just wish Dad was here.
Andy.
Would it be okay
if I just crashed here tonight?
Yeah, I'll go and…
I'll find you a blanket.
[Coop] Thank you.
Or a really big coat.
[sighs]
[chattering]
[Coop] Father's Day at the club.
It was amazing
and honestly a little demoralizing
how quickly this town
could metabolize scandal and tragedy.
A man we all knew had disappeared,
was more than likely dead,
and it was terrible
and horrifying and inconceivable.
And here we were eating, drinking,
and strutting our wares,
like our lives were a show
and come what may, the show must go on.
[Gordy] Coop, hey.
- How you doing?
- Good, good.
- Your kids make it in for Father's Day?
- Yeah, Mike's here.
Uh, Lynn and Val
couldn't come in from LA, so…
- You good?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Everything okay?
[chuckles]
Um… Yeah, can I talk to you for a second?
- Sure.
- Yeah.
Michter's, please.
- Macallan 25, just…
- Sure.
- I, um… [chuckles]
- What's up?
I don't know if I should even
be talking about this, so…
Then maybe you shouldn't.
I've been having an affair.
Or you know, just dive on in.
Look, we've been very, very discreet.
Yeah, I know. It's Diane Miller, right?
Fuck. Fuck!
[stammers] How did you know?
Oh, God. Does everybody know?
- No, buddy, no, it's just me.
- Does… [stammers]
Can anyone have
a damn secret in this town?
- [scoffs]
- How long you lived here?
Too long. I just…
I don't know what to do, Coop.
I mean, this thing with Diane,
it's taken on a life of its own.
Are you asking me for my advice?
Yes, buddy, please.
Stop fucking your friend's wife.
I'm just gonna throw that out there.
We love each other.
You're in love with Diane Miller?
- Yes.
- No.
What you love is fucking someone new.
Someone who actually thinks
it's exciting to fuck someone new too.
All right? It's-It's exciting and it's…
and it's risky and it's sexy
and it's wrong, but it's not love.
[sighs]
Look, Lisa and I,
we've been unhappy for a long time…
Yeah, because Lisa's fucking intolerable.
Whoa. Jesus Christ.
So divorce her, but don't blow up
your friend's marriage along with it.
You know, I thought maybe
you'd be a little more understanding.
Why? Because I'm the guy
who gets to fuck new people?
Come on, you know what I'm doing
when I'm not fucking new people,
which is almost every day, by the way?
I'm sitting on my couch alone,
watching movies
that they don't make anymore.
Feeling sorry for myself and
feeling like I could disappear tomorrow
and it would take a few days
for anyone to even realize that I'm gone.
Jesus Christ, Coop.
Look, there is no happy ending
for you and Diane in this scenario.
- Do you understand?
- No.
You can keep fucking
each other until you get caught
and you blow up both of your lives.
Or you can grow up,
you can chalk it up to temporary insanity
and go back and figure out
if you have a marriage worth saving.
But you just said she is intolerable.
- Yeah, I'm not married to her.
- [sighs]
You asked me.
I did.
Easy.
What's going on, buddy?
I'm worried about Nick.
Those FBI agents really got in his head.
Well, they talked to everybody.
They didn't single us out.
Tell that to him.
[sighs] Can you go talk to him please?
I-I'll be there in a second.
I'm really not
his favorite person right now.
Talk to him.
He's your friend.
Hey. Why you so cranky?
[Tori] Dad.
Hey, Nick.
Hey. Uh, want a drink?
Did you leave any?
Okay, I'm fine.
You don't sound fine.
What do you want me to say, Barney?
- We killed him.
- Not that, for starters.
I haven't be able
to sleep since that night.
I'm in this with you, okay? So is Coop.
Oh, my God.
We're gonna get through this,
but not if you get drunk
and do something crazy, all right?
You do that, it's game over for all of us.
[scoffs] There's no way
we're gonna get away with this.
We will if we keep our heads.
Our DNA is all over that house!
- No one is looking at that house.
- Fibers, hair…
- We don't have any hair.
- Fuck you. Trying to be funny right now?
You were supposed to protect me!
Hey, what happened that night was
a little bit beyond my job description.
Barney, I'm talking about the other thing!
Fuck.
- Nick…
- You must think I'm really stupid…
How many times can I apologize, huh?
You have my word,
I will never do anything like that again.
Nah, and I know you won't.
- Good.
- Because you're fired.
Well, now I think you're really stupid.
[Tori] They all know.
- What? Who?
- Everybody.
They just all know about the DUI.
- [Coop] Them?
- Yes.
Come on. Fuck those guys.
That's the thing about this place.
Word travels fast,
but take it from an expert,
next week someone's gonna fuck their nanny
or sleep with a trainer
or go to rehab for some stupid shit,
and your little snafu
will be conveniently forgotten.
[sighs] I think I made a mistake.
You definitely made a mistake, kiddo.
No, I mean with college.
Oh, that.
It just felt like everything
was speeding up,
like it was all just coming at me so fast,
and I couldn't get any time
to think things through. [sighs]
And now I'm screwed.
No, you're not.
You woke up, you questioned your path.
That's so much better
to do now, when you're young.
It gets a hell of a lot messier
when you get older, okay?
You wanna go to college?
You're gonna go to college.
It might not be next year,
it might not be Princeton,
but you will get to where you wanna go.
And then if you don't wanna do it,
you wanna do something else?
We will f-figure that out too.
I don't know how things got so fucked up.
Tell me about it.
[Barney speaks indistinctly] Huh?
- What the fuck? Hey!
- [Nick] Leave me alone, man!
[Coop] Whoa!
Okay. What the fuck? Hey, guys!
Seriously, you guys.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Come on.
- [Barney, Nick straining]
- Jesus Christ. Christ, man.
[all grunting]
[onlookers gasp]
[bystander] Hey, what the fuck?
- [groans] My, God!
- [coughs]
[Coop] Really?
The club had a three-page list
of rules pertaining to decorum,
but I don't think any of them
really covered this sort of thing.
Still, I was pretty sure
we'd each be getting an official warning
letter along with a hefty fine.
Little help?
No, fuck you, Coop!
[both panting]
This is another fine mess
you've gotten us into.
Drink?
Absolutely.
- [Barney straining]
- Come on.
So, what was that with you and Nick?
[sighs] I don't know.
He was drunk,
I was trying to get him to step out
before he embarrassed himself,
which clearly didn't go according to plan.
That was number three.
Number three what?
That was the third lie you told me.
What are you talking about?
What-What lies?
[Grace] I don't trust you, Barney.
I'm gonna have a baby and I don't know
who my husband is anymore.
- Grace, I don't know what you're think…
- Stop!
I don't want to hear a fourth.
Okay.
Okay, look, um…
Let's get the kids to bed
and then we'll talk about this, okay?
No.
- No?
- You're not coming home with us.
What?
I'll pack you a bag
and leave it out front later.
What are you talking about?
Where am I supposed to go?
Literally anywhere else.
Grace.
- Grace, come on. Grace.
- Fingers.
Grace, you're right, okay?
Let's talk about this, okay?
The last thing I want to do
right now is talk to you.
[in Spanish] What's up, Elena?
What the hell are you doing?
You don't seem happy to see me.
You were supposed to come alone.
Why?
- You want to do something with me?
- [scoffs]
Damn!
Guys, come on.
This way, let's go.
[Elena, in English]
What the fuck are you doing?
Look at all this shit!
This wasn't the deal!
[in Spanish] Check it out guys.
[in English] You're not going to be able
to sell that.
They're too traceable. Don't be stupid!
You got a better idea?
Okay.
Th… Those are worth a lot more
than what I owe.
- Uh-huh, yeah, they are.
- [accomplice] Yeah.
Félix, just leave the ring.
Okay, take the watch.
All right.
- [accomplice speaks Spanish]
- [whispers] Thank you.
[grunts]
- Had to make it look real, right?
- [Elena groans]
Walked in on a burglar who came and, pow!
Poor Elena.
- He'll probably give you a raise.
- [breathes heavily]
[in Spanish] Okay, let's go!
[in English] You got the watches?
- [accomplice] Yeah, I got everything.
- [Félix speaks Spanish]
[sobbing]
What the hell was that
between Nick and Barney?
[sighs] Nick had
a little too much to drink.
Barney tried to stop him,
it did not go well.
That was extra.
- [Coop] Yeah. It was.
- I miss Grandpa.
I do too, buddy.
It's your first Father's Day without him,
I'm sorry.
Maybe we should have skipped
the club this year.
You know what? We still can.
["Hidden Roads" playing]
[cheering]
- Wow. Wow.
- Come on!
Hey, Papa.
Hey.
[inhales, sighs]
Penny for your thoughts?
Do you ever wonder if we need all this?
- The houses, the cars, the clothes.
- What are we talking about here?
Don't you… Do you think
we're even capable of scaling back?
Smaller house, less debt, less stuff.
Do you not remember
our apartment on Bank Street?
I remember cockroaches.
[laughs] Okay, yes.
It wasn't exactly a palace, but…
We were 25,
I felt like we won the lottery.
I didn't grow up with any of that stuff,
you didn't either.
My parents wanted me to be
a professor, for Christ's sake.
You were ambitious, so?
You went after it
and I love that about you.
You're so brilliant.
For me it was never about the house,
the jewelry, the car, the country club.
It was about you.
Do you think that's what ruined us?
You think we're ruined?
Come on. You know what I mean.
All I know is I would have traded
all of it to keep our family together.
Okay then.
If you tell me we have to scale back,
sell the house,
move somewhere else, I will get
with the program, but on one condition.
What's that?
You start telling me the truth.
About what?
Exactly.
[phone chimes]
Oh.
I need to, uh, deal with this.
[Mel] Mm-hmm.
Excuse me.
Saved by the bell.
[Coop] Not a great time.
No, I guess it's not.
You hear anything about Ashe?
I did not.
You think he'll be back?
I think we both know he won't be.
What's this?
A flash drive with the video of you.
Held up your end, there it is.
Okay.
Thanks.
The money you sent back…
No one told you to do that.
Well, I figured it's Ashe's money,
you'd sort it out.
It's not all Ashe's money.
[Coop] Yeah? Whose money is it?
That's a conversation for another time.
The point is,
I'm wiring it back into your account.
Well, I don't want it.
And I wouldn't have wanted it even if you
hadn't pulled that stunt with the van.
- What van?
- Come on.
You're seriously gonna
stand here and tell me that wasn't you?
I thought I covered that with, "What van?"
Look, believe me or don't,
it changes nothing.
But you may want to consider
the other possibility.
Yeah? What's that?
What? Cricket Birch?
- Bullshit.
- Why? Because you fucked her?
Grow up, Coop.
[scoffs] You know,
there's a version of this
where I might turn out
to be the only friend you have.
Is this that version?
We'll know soon enough, eh?
You know, a little tip,
sometimes it helps if you just say
the thing you're talking about.
[Coop] No matter how comfortable
we get with them,
there will eventually be a reckoning
with all the lies we tell.
The lies we've lived…
And…
The lies we tell to survive…
The lies we tell our spouses…
The lies we tell ourselves…
But sometimes, in between all the lies,
the truth still manages to shine through.
The simple joy of bowling
with my family on Father's Day.
The laughter of my kids.
The increasingly rare feeling
of being exactly where I belonged.
The idea that maybe I could
somehow outrun all the lies
and find a simpler
and more honest way to live.
Like my father.
The ground was still shifting
under my feet,
but it seemed as if some bit of
the clarity and purpose he possessed
had been left behind for me.
And in spite of everything,
I was feeling hopeful again.
But a smarter man would've looked
at his own tapestry of lies
and understood that
it was only a matter of time
before someone started
pulling at a thread…
[grunts]
[suspenseful music playing]
[grunts]