The Brady Bunch (1969) s02e11 Episode Script

1
Here's the story
Of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up
Three very lovely girls
All of them had hair of gold ♪
Like their mother
The youngest one in curls ♪
It's the story of a man named Brady ♪
Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
They were four men living all together ♪
Yet they were all alone ♪
Till the one day when
The lady met this fellow
And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
That this group
Must somehow form a family
That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
The Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch
That's the way we became
the Brady Bunch. ♪
Bobby's still following us.
Boy, he sure is stubborn.
He just won't give up.
Why don't you tell him he's too little
to join our tree house club?
Aw, he's not that little
I mean, for a nine-year-old,
and we don't have to make him
a regular member.
He's willing to be our mascot.
I don't know.
He'd pay dues.
Dues?
I guess we could use someone
to clean up the tree house
And pay dues.
Hey, that's great, fellows.
( Yelling ): Okay, Bobby,
we just voted you in.
Wow, that's great!
Thanks, you guys!
Climb up into the tree house
so you can get sworn in.
Go ahead, Bobby.
Sure!
He can't even climb.
( Both sighing )
Are you okay, Bobby?
Ow! My ankle!
Ow!
Does it still hurt?
No.
Gee, those guys in the tree house club
sure must think I'm a dumb head.
Oh, not at all. This time next week
you'll be a member in good standing.
If you ask me, I think it's a miracle.
Yes, that he only sprained his ankle.
No, I meant it was a miracle
that you have a doctor
that makes house calls.
He didn't even ask Bobby
to stick out his tongue and say, "Ah."
Well, that's just when you sprain a tonsil.
Come on, Florence Nightingale.
You can help me in the kitchen
making hospital corners on the napkins.
Hi.
I thought Bobby might want
a glass of ice water.
Thanks, but I'm not thirsty.
Oh, I can't imagine why.
Let's see, we have a glass
of milk from Marcia
a glass of lemonade from Cindy
and a glass of grape juice from Peter.
You know, you must be
a lot bigger on the inside
than you look from the outside.
Hi!
Hey, Tarzan.
Hi, Dad.
How's the old ankle?
Okay,
only it sure is boring staying in bed.
Well, here's a little something
to help you pass the time.
Gee, thanks, Dad!
Well, it looks like we
all had the same idea.
These are from me
and the cookies are from Alice.
And they're for after dinner.
And that goes for you, too.
Well, your Mom's right
spoil your appetite.
Yeah, with everybody waiting on him,
I'm afraid more than his
appetite is getting spoiled.
( Whining )
Thanks, Tiger.
I rest my case.
Well, the kitchen checks out
a-okay, Mrs. Brady.
Dishes are all done, floor's all scrubbed
housekeeper's all pooped.
Alice, the kitchen floor
didn't need scrubbing.
Yeah, I know, but once I get turned on,
there's just no turning me off.
Bobby and I set a new record
nine straight games
of Chinese checkers.
The only trouble with
Chinese checkers, Mr. Brady,
is no matter how much you play,
an hour later, you just want to play again.
Oh, Alice!
Mike, were you able
to get Bobby off to sleep?
Yeah. You know, if he's this
restless and bored
after one night, what's he going
to be like in a few days?
Maybe we could move the
television set into his room.
You know, I've been thinking.
There's something he's been
wanting for a long time,
and it'd be perfect.
Not only would it keep him interested,
but it would make
a great companion for him
at the same time.
A parakeet!
Gee, thanks, Dad!
Boy, a parakeet
just for a sprained ankle.
Could I get an alligator if I broke my leg?
No, so don't try it.
Well, what are you
going to name it, Bobby?
It all depends.
How do you tell
if it's a boy parakeet or a girl parakeet?
Well, you teach it to talk
and then you ask it.
I'm just getting some crumbs
to feed the parakeet with.
( Chuckles )
The way everybody's stuffing him,
that little parakeet's gonna
be an ostrich by next week.
Oh, thank you, Alice.
I see they're taking good care of the bird.
Oh, yeah. Everybody in the house
has just flipped over him
her it?
Come on, you can say it:
"Polly want a cracker."
Say it.
( Parakeet chirps )
( Tiger barking )
Tiger, no! You're scaring it!
Tiger, pick on somebody your own size!
( Tiger barking )
( Barking )
Mom, Dad, my parakeet's loose!
Tiger, stop scaring my parakeet!
Where did he go?
( Chirping )
Parakeet at 9:00 high.
( Barking )
Girls, shut the kitchen door.
Peter Peter, get the window, quick!
( Whistling )
( Chirping )
Tiger, be quiet!
Tiger, come on, come on,
come on, get out of here.
Girls!
What's all the noise?
Just take Tiger out of here.
Nobody ever tells us anything.
Okay, now, everybody quiet
ALICE: Here, girl.
No, quiet, quiet,
till the bird settles down.
( Chirping )
Here, birdie
( whistles )
Birdie, here.
Here, boy
Here, girl.
( Slowly ): Nobody move.
( Slowly ): Nobody move.
If we don't move,
how are we going to catch it?
Just leave that to old
"Bring 'em back alive" Brady.
Take it easy, fellow or miss.
( Softly ): Nobody's going to hurt you.
I'm just going to take
you back to your cage.
Big hunter blew it.
Looks like you better take a lesson
from little hunter.
He flew right into my hands.
I guess that proves he likes me.
Hey, also proves your ankle is better.
You came down those
stairs like gangbusters.
Hey, yeah
Look!
Hey, that's great, Bobby.
You can come over to
the tree house tomorrow
and get initiated into the club.
Hey, yeah!
Come on, we haven't got all afternoon.
Start climbing!
I'll hold it for you.
What are you waiting for?
Will you quit stalling?
Go on!
Come on, Bobby, you won't slip again.
I know.
It's just
couldn't I take the oath down here?
Either you climb up, or you don't get in.
Rules are rules.
What's the matter, you chicken?
Heck no, it's just
well, my ankle's starting
to hurt again, that's all.
We'll have to do it some other time.
Hi, Pete.
Hi, Dad. The brakes sure
work neat since you fixed them.
Mm-hmm. They're only
supposed to stop the bicycle,
not wear out the tires.
Okay, I'll watch it.
How did it go at Bobby's initiation today?
Well Bobby said he couldn't
climb up to the tree house
because his ankle started
hurting him again.
Still sore, huh?
That's what he says.
You sound like you don't believe him?
Well
After the fall he took,
you can't blame him for chickening out.
Chickening out?
Well
That's what the other guys think.
Mm-hmm well, what do you think?
Is that fair, Pete?
After all, that's Bobby's ankle, you know.
If he says it hurts,
the least you can do is give him
the benefit of the doubt.
Hmm.
Get.
Come on, you can say it:
"Hello, Bobby, hello, Bobby."
Boy, you're sure a dumb bird.
( Bird chirping )
Okay, I take it back.
JAN: Hey, Bobby.
Bet I can swing higher than you can.
Bet you can't.
Bet I can.
Are you kidding? I could beat you easy.
Prove it.
Okay, you asked for it.
Well, come on, what you waiting for?
Well, it's no fun beating a girl.
And anyway, I got more
important things to do.
Alice, you can put the hamburgers on
any time you're ready.
All right, Mrs. Brady.
Let's see, that's rare
for you and Mr. Brady,
medium rare
for Jan and Peter,
well-done for Marcia.
It would be a lot simpler
if I just pound this whole thing
together into a meat loaf.
BOBBY: Mom?
Are we having those buns
with seeds on them tonight?
Well, as a matter of fact,
we are, Bobby why?
Well, can I scrape off some
to feed to my bird?
Oh, that's some lucky bird.
We eat his leftovers.
All right, you can scrape
the seeds off one bun.
Thanks.
Hey, your ankle seems to be well now.
Yeah.
Good, cause your father's going
to take us on a picnic this weekend.
That's great!
To Mount Claymore.
Mount Claymore?
You can go hiking and climbing.
Do I have to go?
But you always loved to go there.
Why, last year you were
the first one to climb to the top.
Yeah, I know,
but what's the use of climbing
on a bunch of crummy rocks?
You just have to climb back down again.
( Parakeet chirping )
Still a little sore.
Have you got a second, Dad?
Mm-hmm.
What's on your mind, son?
Is Bobby okay?
I mean, you think
maybe he hurt something
besides his ankle?
What are you getting at, Greg?
Well, you know how he's
always pestering me
to go coasting down
Maple Street on our bikes?
Yeah?
Well, today I offered
to let him come along
and he turned me down.
Well
Did he give you any reason why?
Yeah, he said his ankle was sore
and he might not be able
to put on the brakes.
Well, it sounds logical to me.
Yeah, except for one thing.
I offered to swap bikes,
let him use mine
and mine has hand brakes.
So, I figure maybe it's not his ankle.
Hmm!
Well, you got a point there.
ALICE ( yells): Soup's on, everybody!
Come and get it!
Let's go, gang!
Girls, Marcia, Peter, Bobby!
( Sighs ): You see, Dad?
Bobby's not limping a bit.
Mm-hmm, now I'm sure you got a point.
I'm afraid Bobby's got
another kind of a sprain.
Are you sure that's the real reason
he didn't want to join the club?
Yeah, I'm sure.
He won't climb up the tree.
So he won't climb up a tree, so what?
He's a boy, not a monkey.
It's all part of a picture, Alice.
He won't go on the swing.
He won't go hiking in the mountains.
He won't go down the hill on his bicycle.
He's afraid of falling and hurting himself.
And the longer he avoids it,
the harder it'll be.
Exactly, so we have to try
and help Bobby.
Well, how, Dad?
Greg, you remember last season
when you got hit with a baseball
in batting practice?
Yeah?
What happened?
It hurt.
I think your dad means
what did the coach make you do?
Get right back in the batter's
box so I wouldn't lose my nerve.
Which is exactly what we have
to do with Bobby
get him up off the ground.
Hi, Bobby.
How's the weather down there?
Gee, where'd you get the stilts?
I made them. Pretty good, eh?
I'll say. Terrific.
You want to try them? It's easy.
You just climb up and start walking.
No, thanks.
Oh, come on, give it a try.
You can once you get up here,
you can see right into the Lister's yard.
What's so special about that?
I can see it from my bedroom window.
( Hammering continues )
( Bird chirps )
What are you doing, Dad?
Uh, hey, Bob, shutter's
loose on the hinge.
I need a screwdriver. Would you
bring it up to me, please?
It's in the tool drawer in the kitchen.
Will you bring it up?
Sure, Dad, right away.
( Hinge cracks )
Hey, Bobby, hurry up!
I really need that screwdriver.
Bob?
Here you are, Dad.
Thanks a lot.
Oh, I'm great at this.
JAN: Oh, boy, these are really fun.
Oh, boy, this is fun.
CINDY: It's springy enough.
JAN: It looks brand-new.
If this trampoline doesn't work,
then I don't know what to try next.
It better work after all the trouble
we went through just to borrow it.
Well, who's going to be the first to try it?
I will!
Oh, boy. We've got one
just like it in school.
They're a real blast.
Hey, go get 'em, Greg.
( All shout excitedly )
You're pretty good at that.
Now Oh!
Hey, that's great!
Higher, higher, come on!
Be care that's high enough, I think.
Mike
Hey, that's good.
Yeah, isn't he good?
CINDY: Good one.
JAN: Yay, Peter!
Be careful.
Stay in the middle.
Let somebody else do it. Come on.
You're pretty good at that.
( Chuckles )
How we doing?
Well, so far, so good.
At least he's interested enough to watch.
Yeah.
GREG: Stay in the middle.
Come on, Pete.
Come on, hurry!
JAN: Hey, that's good!
Okay.
Get off.
I'm next.
No, I am.
Oh, you can both be next
if you'll hold hands and be careful.
Okay.
JAN: Come on, Cindy.
Now, Jan, remember,
you're bigger than Cindy.
Oh, oh!
CAROL: Jan
you're bigger than Cindy.
Not so high.
( Girls laugh )
That's it, good, girls.
Is he still watching?
Uh, yeah. He's up there
with that parakeet.
If that bird talks him out of it,
I'll pluck him.
( Excited talking continues )
Be careful, you two.
CAROL: Jan, remember, you're taller.
Why don't you give Cindy a chance now?
Okay, okay.
Whoa! I almost fell off.
Take it easy now.
Okay, honey.
Go.
Ah!
Now, careful.
Not too high.
GREG: Can you do any tricks?
CAROL: Can you do any tricks?
( laughs )
JAN: Yay!
Great.
Cindy, that was great.
Real good.
Be careful, be careful.
GREG: Why don't you give it a try?
Can we do it again?
Well, when everyone else has a turn.
Uh, Bobby?
You want to come down and give it a try?
( Quietly ): I was sure he'd come down
when he saw that even
Cindy wasn't afraid.
Maybe he'd change his mind
if the worst coward in town tried it.
Who's that?
Me.
Okay, push. Alice, be careful.
Whoops!
( All laugh )
Come on. Come on, Alice.
Okay, now.
Now, be careful.
I'm all right. I've done this a lot.
Where?
Uh, Y.W.C.A.
( girls laugh )
Alice!
( All laugh )
Come on, Alice!
That's great!
Yeah. Wow.
Alice, be careful.
( Shrieking and laughing )
I think she's getting to him.
( Screams )
Alice!
Whoa! Whoa!
Oh, keep it up, Alice.
Keep it up?!
I can't stop.
That's .54 on the Richter scale.
JAN: Alice!
MIKE: Whoa!
Oh, sorry about that, Mr. Brady.
Oh, that's all right, Alice.
Drop in any time.
Oh, you're in good shape.
( Chuckles )
Uh-oh!
So much for "Operation Bounce Back."
Oh!
( Tiger barks )
BOBBY: Tiger, stop!
Now look what you've done!
( Tiger whimpers )
Mom! Dad!
Tiger chased my parakeet
out the window!
We got to catch it!
Hey, what's the hurry?
Excuse us, Alice.
Pardon me, Alice, excuse me.
A trampoline isn't enough.
Now I got to be a juggler.
( Whistling )
( Parakeet chirps )
( Chirping )
Tiger didn't mean to scare you.
It's all right.
I'm coming for you.
It's okay, you're safe now.
Take it easy, Bobby.
Careful, dear.
What's going on?
Hey, look at Bobby.
How about that!
How'd he get up there?
He climbed, actually.
He was too worried about his parakeet
to think about himself.
Boy, he's a hero.
Hear that, bird?
I'm a hero.
Hey, you want to try
to become a member
of the tree house club tomorrow?
I'm not sure.
It's not much of a climb, you know.
It ought to be a lot higher.
( Chuckling ): Oh, no!
Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!
Hi, honey.
MIKE: What are you doing here?
You should be in the tree house
with the rest of the fellows.
Uh, I quit.
You quit? Why?
All they do is sit around and talk
while I sweep and clean the place.
( Chuckles )
After all, you are the mascot, you know.
I'm going to build my own tree
house and have my own club.
Really? What are you going
to you use for members?
Well, I already got two of 'em.
( Whistles ): Come on, Tiger.
( Parakeet chirping )