Tom Goes to the Mayor (2004) s02e11 Episode Script
Zoo Trouble
0
Jefferton alive
Hi. I'm the Mayor,
and my door is always open for you!
Jefferton alive
My name is Tom Peters,
and I'm in zoo trouble.
Community spirit!
Hi. How are you?
Shopping!
Food!
Free to be, being free ♪
Jefferton alive
OK, folks,
if you'll just follow me.
We're almost done.
Ah, here we are.
And this is where our collection of llamas used to be
Josey and Sam.
They're not with us anymore.
And over here,
we have the Jefferton common squirrel.
There he is.
We call him Nutty.
He loves nuts, you know.
And over here's the grand finale,
Michael Davidson.
He's an ape.
I don't have that much information
on him here. Shoot!
OK, folks, let's head on over to the Visitor's Center.
You know, the Jefferton Public Zoo
wasn't always a zoo.
That's right.
In Pioneer Days
these facilities held
captive Indians and homosexuals.
But up until a few years ago
we featured the wide spectrum
of the animal kingdom.
Budget cutbacks and a mysterious outbreak of Shiller's Syndrome
forced us to sell
most of our beautiful creatures
to independent traders
of rare animals.
But don't worry.
You'll find the Jefferton Public Zoo
to be fun
educational,
and full of adventure.
And, if you're lucky,
our old friend Michael Davidson
will come out of his cave
and say hello.
Hello, Michael.
And hello to you.
Joy, it's Tom Peters.
Just wanted to give you a head's up
that I'm volunteering all week at the Zoo
- Excuse me, sir.
- One sec.
- So, I can't pick up the boys tonight and
- Boys?
Sorry, I need to finish leaving this message.
I'll wait. I just need to speak
to someone in charge.
OK, hold on. Just to say again,
I can't pick up the boys from soccer
Mayor here!
Hon, I'm going to have to call you back.
It's Tom Peters.
- Sir?
- I'm sorry about that.
Are you in charge here?
I guess you could say that.
It's good old Tom Peters.
Great, Tom. I just wanted to complain about this stinkhouse of a zoo here.
You're telling me!
I don't want to point my finger, but
ever since Bernie Fusterillio's
Real Live Incredible Animal Experience
opened across the street,
it's just been downhill.
Our attendance dropped
80% last week.
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Well, probably not.
Come on. Let's go undercover and check out our competition.
Welcome to the Real Live
Incredible Animal Experience!
Prepare to be amazed and excited
beyond
your wildest dreams!
The animal kingdom has never been so alive!
For the sake of our animals,
flash photography is prohibited.
Please keep your arms,
legs, and hands
inside the harness pod.
Wow! It's pretty exciting stuff,
isn't it, Tom?
- To be honest, I'm a little spooked.
- Me too, buddy.
But we're together on this.
And after the ride
won't you visit
our award-winning gift shoppe?
I'm Bernie Fusterillio,
and welcome
to my Real Live Incredible
Animal Experience!
For the next 20 minutes,
you will see literally
hundreds of animals
of all kinds!
All without leaving
the comfort of your harness pod.
And if seeing is believing
then I command you to believe
in the Wildebeest
of the Serengeti!
Smell the breath of the mighty lion!
Beware the wild kingdom!
Feel the fury of nature's
most untamed beasts!
OK.
That will be $847.
That's funny.
All my loose change is gone.
I'm missing
my lucky sand dollar.
I love this misting helmet, Tom.
Darn it! How will our zoo compete with this place?
I was doing a little meditating
during the ride
and I think
if we can spruce up our zoo
and focus on the real animals we have,
I think we could
Sorry, Tom. This thing's got a real hairpin trigger on it.
That's fine.
No problem.
But I like where you're going with this.
I'd be willing to go ahead and pull
an all-nighter, get some plans together.
The first thing we've got to get is more animals.
- Good idea.
- The cages need to be cleaned.
Right.
I might be able
to pry the laptop from Joy
and I could put together a spreadsheet of all my
OK.
So, we're pretty much done here.
We started without you, buddy.
I'd still like you
to take a look at my spreadsheet.
Tom, look at this!
They're called electric sidewalks.
I don't even have
to move my legs.
Well, I can see that.
And here come the animals.
Yeah, I didn't know
you'd literally dress up the animals.
I thought you meant a cage clean.
- And there's the disco room.
- Looks like they're having a great time.
They sure are.
Look at them go.
And over here is the open-air cafeteria.
It's pretty convenient, I guess.
Yeah, well, that's the point. Listen Tom,
tomorrow's the grand opening
and I'll need you
on overnight security detail.
- To watch over my little angels.
- All right.
My evening should be pretty free,
depending on whether
I can't wait to see
Bernie Fusterillio's face
when he sees
what we cooked up here.
Well, good night, Mrs. Goat.
Good night, Mr. Mere Cat.
Good night, Michael Davidson.
Michael!
Anyone home?
Tom? Tom!
Wake up!
What?
MichaelMichael Davidson?
Care for a game of chess?
Well, to be honest,
I'm more of a checkers man, but
- But you do know how to play, right?
- Not so much.
I've been meaning to bone up
on some of those skills.
I could settle for a rain check.
I'm just a little confused
Never mind.
Tom, listen closely.
I have spoken
to the Animal Council.
You must close this zoo
and release us
back into the wild.
I don't want to be a sheep
in wolf's clothing
but I've always felt a bit persnickety about caging wild animals anyways.
This is why
I've chosen you, Tom!
The Council has determined
that you are the wisest of your species.
Thank you very much.
The fate of animalkind relies on you closing this zoo.
If not
there will be grave consequences
for the human race!
Grave!
I sure hope
this is important, Mr. Peters.
OK, it absolutely is.
So, basically,
Michael Davidson told me
we must close the zoo immediately
and return the animals to the wild.
- The ape?
- Right.
Theape told you this?
I know it sounds crazy,
but we don't have any time.
The grand opening is in a few hours,
and we have to get working here.
Michael said there would be grave consequences to pay
if we didn't do
what he said.
Is he talking about a real animal?
Who is this nut?
I don't know.
Let me handle this.
OK, Mr. Peters.
We can sympathize with
Michael Davidson's request here
but
financially speaking,
we're just too heavily invested
to close down
the Public Zoo right now.
I just wish
someone would believe me.
Don't worry, Tom.
Everything will be just fine.
Attention!
Attention, everybody!
I'm about to go speak to the ape,
Michael Davidson.
So nobody panic.
Don't call security or anything.
He's my friend,
and I have to give him some bad news.
So everyone
just please sit back, relax
and watch as I now proceed inside the cage
to apologize on behalf of humanity and myself
to this noble beast.
Michael, hello!
It's Tom Peters here.
Oh, my Lord!
What happened?
You were attacked
by Michael Davidson.
What?
I thought he was my friend.
Take a look at this.
Gene, load it up, please.
That's him, Michael Davidson.
I told you I talked to him.
Gene, bring it in 200%, please.
- A zipper!
- That's right.
Gene, another 400%.
- Fusterillio!!
- That's not all, Tom.
Gene, play back the Animal Experience in slow-mo.
That's a classic move.
All you do is shake people around enough
and their loose change falls
out of their pockets into that funnel.
So they collect it
in some sort of change basket.
- Remember that change I lost?
- My sand dollar!
I bet he's making 20 bucks a week on that racket.
Let's get
this son of a buster, Tom.
There he goes.
And now,
ladies and gentlemen
I'd like to reveal
the true identity of this filthy animal.
That's right, it's me,
Bernie Fusterillio.
I don't get it.
Your new zoo would have ruined me!
The change
I was collecting
from all you suckers
and your loose pockets
was making me
tens of dollars a month!
I had to do something.
And if it wasn't for you meddling fools
I would have
gotten away with it, too.
But I have one more surprise up my sleeve.
Mayor!
Tom, I'm sorry.
I just love
that Real Live Incredible
Animal Experience so much
I just couldn't let it go down the tubes.
Well, I have some news for you!
It was me,
Bernie Fusterillio, all along!
You're not Tom!
Mayor's office.
Where the hell is my step-husband?
Abso-lutely.
Jefferton alive
Hi. I'm the Mayor,
and my door is always open for you!
Jefferton alive
My name is Tom Peters,
and I'm in zoo trouble.
Community spirit!
Hi. How are you?
Shopping!
Food!
Free to be, being free ♪
Jefferton alive
OK, folks,
if you'll just follow me.
We're almost done.
Ah, here we are.
And this is where our collection of llamas used to be
Josey and Sam.
They're not with us anymore.
And over here,
we have the Jefferton common squirrel.
There he is.
We call him Nutty.
He loves nuts, you know.
And over here's the grand finale,
Michael Davidson.
He's an ape.
I don't have that much information
on him here. Shoot!
OK, folks, let's head on over to the Visitor's Center.
You know, the Jefferton Public Zoo
wasn't always a zoo.
That's right.
In Pioneer Days
these facilities held
captive Indians and homosexuals.
But up until a few years ago
we featured the wide spectrum
of the animal kingdom.
Budget cutbacks and a mysterious outbreak of Shiller's Syndrome
forced us to sell
most of our beautiful creatures
to independent traders
of rare animals.
But don't worry.
You'll find the Jefferton Public Zoo
to be fun
educational,
and full of adventure.
And, if you're lucky,
our old friend Michael Davidson
will come out of his cave
and say hello.
Hello, Michael.
And hello to you.
Joy, it's Tom Peters.
Just wanted to give you a head's up
that I'm volunteering all week at the Zoo
- Excuse me, sir.
- One sec.
- So, I can't pick up the boys tonight and
- Boys?
Sorry, I need to finish leaving this message.
I'll wait. I just need to speak
to someone in charge.
OK, hold on. Just to say again,
I can't pick up the boys from soccer
Mayor here!
Hon, I'm going to have to call you back.
It's Tom Peters.
- Sir?
- I'm sorry about that.
Are you in charge here?
I guess you could say that.
It's good old Tom Peters.
Great, Tom. I just wanted to complain about this stinkhouse of a zoo here.
You're telling me!
I don't want to point my finger, but
ever since Bernie Fusterillio's
Real Live Incredible Animal Experience
opened across the street,
it's just been downhill.
Our attendance dropped
80% last week.
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Well, probably not.
Come on. Let's go undercover and check out our competition.
Welcome to the Real Live
Incredible Animal Experience!
Prepare to be amazed and excited
beyond
your wildest dreams!
The animal kingdom has never been so alive!
For the sake of our animals,
flash photography is prohibited.
Please keep your arms,
legs, and hands
inside the harness pod.
Wow! It's pretty exciting stuff,
isn't it, Tom?
- To be honest, I'm a little spooked.
- Me too, buddy.
But we're together on this.
And after the ride
won't you visit
our award-winning gift shoppe?
I'm Bernie Fusterillio,
and welcome
to my Real Live Incredible
Animal Experience!
For the next 20 minutes,
you will see literally
hundreds of animals
of all kinds!
All without leaving
the comfort of your harness pod.
And if seeing is believing
then I command you to believe
in the Wildebeest
of the Serengeti!
Smell the breath of the mighty lion!
Beware the wild kingdom!
Feel the fury of nature's
most untamed beasts!
OK.
That will be $847.
That's funny.
All my loose change is gone.
I'm missing
my lucky sand dollar.
I love this misting helmet, Tom.
Darn it! How will our zoo compete with this place?
I was doing a little meditating
during the ride
and I think
if we can spruce up our zoo
and focus on the real animals we have,
I think we could
Sorry, Tom. This thing's got a real hairpin trigger on it.
That's fine.
No problem.
But I like where you're going with this.
I'd be willing to go ahead and pull
an all-nighter, get some plans together.
The first thing we've got to get is more animals.
- Good idea.
- The cages need to be cleaned.
Right.
I might be able
to pry the laptop from Joy
and I could put together a spreadsheet of all my
OK.
So, we're pretty much done here.
We started without you, buddy.
I'd still like you
to take a look at my spreadsheet.
Tom, look at this!
They're called electric sidewalks.
I don't even have
to move my legs.
Well, I can see that.
And here come the animals.
Yeah, I didn't know
you'd literally dress up the animals.
I thought you meant a cage clean.
- And there's the disco room.
- Looks like they're having a great time.
They sure are.
Look at them go.
And over here is the open-air cafeteria.
It's pretty convenient, I guess.
Yeah, well, that's the point. Listen Tom,
tomorrow's the grand opening
and I'll need you
on overnight security detail.
- To watch over my little angels.
- All right.
My evening should be pretty free,
depending on whether
I can't wait to see
Bernie Fusterillio's face
when he sees
what we cooked up here.
Well, good night, Mrs. Goat.
Good night, Mr. Mere Cat.
Good night, Michael Davidson.
Michael!
Anyone home?
Tom? Tom!
Wake up!
What?
MichaelMichael Davidson?
Care for a game of chess?
Well, to be honest,
I'm more of a checkers man, but
- But you do know how to play, right?
- Not so much.
I've been meaning to bone up
on some of those skills.
I could settle for a rain check.
I'm just a little confused
Never mind.
Tom, listen closely.
I have spoken
to the Animal Council.
You must close this zoo
and release us
back into the wild.
I don't want to be a sheep
in wolf's clothing
but I've always felt a bit persnickety about caging wild animals anyways.
This is why
I've chosen you, Tom!
The Council has determined
that you are the wisest of your species.
Thank you very much.
The fate of animalkind relies on you closing this zoo.
If not
there will be grave consequences
for the human race!
Grave!
I sure hope
this is important, Mr. Peters.
OK, it absolutely is.
So, basically,
Michael Davidson told me
we must close the zoo immediately
and return the animals to the wild.
- The ape?
- Right.
Theape told you this?
I know it sounds crazy,
but we don't have any time.
The grand opening is in a few hours,
and we have to get working here.
Michael said there would be grave consequences to pay
if we didn't do
what he said.
Is he talking about a real animal?
Who is this nut?
I don't know.
Let me handle this.
OK, Mr. Peters.
We can sympathize with
Michael Davidson's request here
but
financially speaking,
we're just too heavily invested
to close down
the Public Zoo right now.
I just wish
someone would believe me.
Don't worry, Tom.
Everything will be just fine.
Attention!
Attention, everybody!
I'm about to go speak to the ape,
Michael Davidson.
So nobody panic.
Don't call security or anything.
He's my friend,
and I have to give him some bad news.
So everyone
just please sit back, relax
and watch as I now proceed inside the cage
to apologize on behalf of humanity and myself
to this noble beast.
Michael, hello!
It's Tom Peters here.
Oh, my Lord!
What happened?
You were attacked
by Michael Davidson.
What?
I thought he was my friend.
Take a look at this.
Gene, load it up, please.
That's him, Michael Davidson.
I told you I talked to him.
Gene, bring it in 200%, please.
- A zipper!
- That's right.
Gene, another 400%.
- Fusterillio!!
- That's not all, Tom.
Gene, play back the Animal Experience in slow-mo.
That's a classic move.
All you do is shake people around enough
and their loose change falls
out of their pockets into that funnel.
So they collect it
in some sort of change basket.
- Remember that change I lost?
- My sand dollar!
I bet he's making 20 bucks a week on that racket.
Let's get
this son of a buster, Tom.
There he goes.
And now,
ladies and gentlemen
I'd like to reveal
the true identity of this filthy animal.
That's right, it's me,
Bernie Fusterillio.
I don't get it.
Your new zoo would have ruined me!
The change
I was collecting
from all you suckers
and your loose pockets
was making me
tens of dollars a month!
I had to do something.
And if it wasn't for you meddling fools
I would have
gotten away with it, too.
But I have one more surprise up my sleeve.
Mayor!
Tom, I'm sorry.
I just love
that Real Live Incredible
Animal Experience so much
I just couldn't let it go down the tubes.
Well, I have some news for you!
It was me,
Bernie Fusterillio, all along!
You're not Tom!
Mayor's office.
Where the hell is my step-husband?
Abso-lutely.