Happy Days (1974) s02e12 Episode Script
Open House
1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye gray sky, hello blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Those happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine happy days. ♪
So what am I suppose to do with the tray?
You don't have a window.
Oh, gee, I'm sorry.
I'll get one tomorrow, right?
Until that time just leave it right here.
Okay.
Hey, Fonzie, we were just leaving.
Hey, sit tight, huh, Bag?
I eat fast.
Let's go ask him.
Hey, Fonzie.
Hey, Fonz.
Are you doing anything special tonight?
Would you like to play poker with us?
No, thanks a lot.
I got enough toothpicks.
Oh no, this is gonna be a big, big game, Fonzie.
My parents are going out of town
and we got the house to ourselves.
Yeah, we're gonna start at midnight and play till dawn.
Can't you see it, Fonz?
Six guys in a smoke filled room playing till dawn.
Aw, come on, you guys don't smoke.
What're you gonna do, burn toast?
How about it, Fonz, will you play?
I got better things to do till dawn.
Hey, let Fonzie eat, will you?
I gotta get home.
Hey, look.
If I rush, one of us is gonna get a stomachache.
Another one?
Marion, we're only gonna be gone for 24 hours.
Yes, I know, dear,
but I don't know what Martha's gonna be wearing,
so I have to be prepared.
Oh, don't forget to have your talk with Richard.
Oh.
Richard, your mother's worried about you.
What are you planning for tonight, huh?
A party, girls?
We were planning on playing some poker.
Oh, well, I guess poker's okay.
Only don't tell your mother.
You know she doesn't like gambling.
I wish I could stay and play with you.
We've been to Martha and Ed's three times
and the plumbing has been out every time.
Now they guarantee that it's fixed,
but just in case, maybe you better get me the
The plunger.
Bye-bye, dear. We'll be home tomorrow night before dinner.
All right. Give me a kiss, dear.
Me, too. Bye-bye.
Bye, sweetheart.
Don't worry about anything now.
No, we won't.
Oh, and here's the plunger.
Bye. So long.
I don't want to spend the night at Lisa's.
She always wants to play house
and I always have to be the maid.
You're going over to Lisa's house
and have fun like you're supposed to.
Well, Joanie, do you have everything, dear?
Got your jammies, your toothbrush?
Yeah, I got 'em.
Do you have your broom?
I'm not bringing my broom.
Oh, Lisa darling,
I'm sure we have plenty of brooms and mops
and buckets for Joanie to use.
Come on, Joanie.
Yeah.
Bye, Richie.
Come on, Joanie.
So long, Joanie. Now, go on.
You're gonna have a real good time.
It's always fun staying over at a friend's house.
We're alone!
Made in the shade.
Yeah.
With the whole house all to ourselves.
Just you and me and Miss September.
Right.
We can do anything we want.
Hey, Richie!
We're just a couple of bachelors on the loose.
Hey, hey, what do you want to do?
Take a nap.
Take a nap?
A couple of bachelors on the loose take a nap?
Look, Rich, we're gonna be
playing poker all night, right? Right.
Nobody's used to staying up all night, right?
By 4:00 all the other guys will start fading out.
And we'll clean up.
You got it take the couch, I'll take the chair.
Right.
Potsie, don't leave this laying around.
Expecting your minister to drop in?
Go to sleep.
There.
Potsie?
Yeah, Rich?
I can't sleep.
Neither can I.
All right.
That's it. Tired enough for a nap?
Let's play ten more. I think I will be then, okay?
Okay. All right, here we go.
Oh, hi.
Hello. I think this is yours. Yeah.
Can you tell me where is the nearest gas station?
It's about eight blocks down that way.
Yeah, seven or eight blocks. Closer to eight I'd say.
That's what I said.
Eight blocks, huh.
Well, you see my girlfriends and I,
we broke down in our car.
Oh, well, hey,
why don't my friend and I help you out?
By the way, my name is Warren Webber.
How do you do?
The little kids call me Potsie.
But I'll tell you what we can do.
We can push it back here, then we'll call
our good friend Fonz who's a whiz with cars.
Oh, are you are you sure you have time?
Oh, yeah. We we weren't gonna do anything.
We were just gonna take a nap.
Gee, you guys are swell.
I really appreciate it.
Come on.
She digs us, Rich, she digs us. Yeah?
Come on.
Well, what do you think, Fonz?
Yeah, I like what I see.
I think he's talking about the car, Fonzie.
Then I don't like what I see 'cause I don't see any oil.
I see goo on there, like you're making taffy.
Well, we don't know very much about engines.
No, we just get in and fill it up with gas.
Hold it, hold it, you're gonna have to pull back.
I can't have girls breathing on me when I'm working.
Oh.
Just wait till I'm through.
Why don't we go in the house.
That sounds fantastic.
If you have any trouble, Fonz, just give me a yell.
"We just get in and fill it up with gas."
Well, this stuff should be ready in a few minutes now.
Oh, hey, Fonz.
Hey, I got some bad, bad news for you girls.
Your distributor's shot.
What? The distributor.
Yeah. I gotta get a new one.
I can't do that till tomorrow morning.
Well, how much will that cost?
About 35 bucks.
That much?
Listen, since you girls are not going anywhere for awhile
how about one of you taking a ride on my bike
and seeing the sights?
Oh, I'd love to.
Well, you're not exactly my first choice, but
you never know.
Come on.
Thanks. Hey.
You never know.
20, 30 five, six We've got $37.50.
Do you know a good motel for $2.50?
Motel? What do you want to go to a motel for?
Well, we have to sleep.
Forget about a motel.
We got plenty of room right here.
Right, Rich?
Well, I don't know.
It's the least we can do.
You're in a jam and what's mine is yours.
We couldn't do that. Why not?
We got the whole house to ourselves.
Rich's folks are away.
Well, we couldn't impose on you boys.
Impose! You're not imposing.
Are they imposing, Rich? What imposing?
We have absolutely nothing to do, have we?
We've got the poker game.
Poker game? I don't know anything about a poker game.
No poker game. What a poker game?
We're not having a poker game.
Yeah, but we told Ralph No poker.
But remember we invited
Richie, could I talk to you for a minute in private, huh?
Excuse us, will you? Certainly.
What imposing?
Are you crazy, Rich?
Don't you realize this is the chance of a lifetime?
I don't think that they like us enough
for it to be a chance of a lifetime.
What, are you chickening out?
I'm not chickening out,
but I'm just not sure it's the right thing to do.
Rich, they're beauty queens!
College girls with no place to sleep.
Yeah, and we're letting them
stay here under false pretenses.
Yeah.
It's just not gonna work out. They're older than us.
They gotta be at least 19 or 20.
Rich, don't you know older women go for younger guys?
Like in that movie, Tea and Sympathy.
That was just a movie.
Rich, if you can't believe Hollywood, who can you believe?
They research things like that. I guess.
Great, then I can call Ralph and the guys,
tell them the poker game's off.
I suppose.
It's just that
now, these girls are very nice, but
having them stay overnight
I don't think my parents would go for it, that's all.
You're right, Rich.
Parents never go for chances of a lifetime.
Well, it would be very hard to explain
having three strangers in the house even if they
Hi. Oh, hi.
Hi.
I sure appreciate your letting me use the shower.
I feel so much better.
You smell nice.
It's my perfume. "Midnight Desire".
Oh, it's it's nice.
Thanks.
How long to midnight?
Ah, that's cute.
Call Ralph and give him the bad news.
Oh, reading Coronet, huh? Yup.
Oh, did you read that article a couple of months ago
about the new morals?
No, I didn't.
Oh, it was real interesting.
Things that nobody would do before Uh-huh?
Well, uh, they're sure doing them now.
No, thanks.
Well, yeah, what are they doing?
Oh, well, they're, uh well
How would you phrase it, Rich?
I didn't read the article.
Oh, uh
well, actually I just skimmed it myself.
But I've been meaning to read it again to refresh my memory.
Hmm.
Hey, you know what I'd like?
A drink.
Oh yeah, well, we got Nehi in the ice box.
What would you like strawberry or orange?
No, I mean a drink drink.
Oh, a drink drink?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, Potsie and I were just saying
that it was about time for a belt.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's 9:30.
Past our usual time.
We didn't know you girls drank.
Open the bar, Rich.
Right. Open up the bar.
Yeah, it's cocktail time. Happy Hour.
Open the bar.
T.G.I.F.
Thank God It's Friday.
Yeah! Hey!
Let's see.
There you go.
Little bit of everything. Just name it.
We got Crème de Menthe.
Uh curacao.
Oh, hey, apricot brandy.
Who's that?
I don't know. Here, take it.
Uh, I'll be back in a minute.
Well, let's keep the party going.
After all, it's "Tgif."
Tgif?
Yeah, just like Rich said T.G.I.F. Tgif.
Hey, Richie, my mother gave me a message
that the game is canceled.
That's not true, is it?
Yeah, yeah, it's canceled.
Why? I've been sleeping since 5:00.
I'm wide awake, ready to play.
Something came up.
You mean I wasted a nap?
It couldn't be helped.
Oh, great now I've got
a nap in my system and nowhere to go.
Go for a walk.
Nah, nah, my pockets are full of nickels.
I went to the bank this afternoon
and got all this change.
See?
I'm so weighted down, I can hardly move.
What's going on here What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
Hey. I smell perfume.
You got girls in here?
No No! No.
No, that's not perfume.
Th-That's, uh, bug spray. Bug spray.
Sure. For sexy roaches.
You dirty rats, that's why you canceled the game.
Those are just some of Joanie's friends. Joanie's friends.
12-year-old girls. 12-year-old girls.
Oh, yeah? Little girls?
Yeah. Oh. Oh, teeny, tiny.
Richie, do you have any strawberries?
Chrissy makes really fun daiquiris.
No. No strawberries.
Oh, that's too bad. Well.
Hi.
Oh, no, Ralph!
Quick, lock the door.
Rich, I'm a friend! Let me in!
I'll get you guys for this!
It's okay, he's gone.
You know, we probably should've let him in.
I mean, he is a good friend.
Yeah, but Come on, guys, let me in, please
That's why I didn't let him in
'cause he is a friend.
If we let him in here with his Red Buttons face
and broad shoulders,
he'd cut us out with the chicks, and we'd hate him.
I was just trying to save our friendship, Rich.
You're a good friend, Potsie.
Hey, I really appreciate this, Chris.
I mean, I don't usually get a
crick in my neck when I cha-cha.
It probably happened when you tripped over the couch.
Bye, Fonz! Thanks for the ride!
Whew! Hi. Hi.
Did you have fun? Oh, I had a great time.
Yeah? And that Fonz is cute.
Do you know that old corny line about the submarine races?
He used that on you?
No, I used it on him.
Almost worked, too.
Hey, how about another stack of wax, huh?
Hey, the guys invited us to stay overnight.
Oh, really? That's nice of you.
It's nice of you.
I'm tired I'm gonna hit the sack.
Yeah, me, too. Come on, Penny,
I'll show you where we're supposed to sleep.
Okay. Good night. Good night.
Do you need anything, like, uh,
extra blankets or pajamas?
No. I have my overnight bag.
I sleep in the raw. Night.
Why didn't we say something?
I was kind of waiting for you.
I would have, but when Ruth said
she slept in the raw, my tongue got stuck to my teeth.
I know, that shook me up, too.
What are we doing here?
Huh? When right out there
are three beautiful girls in various stages of dress?
Well, what are we supposed to do?
Well, Rich, the secret's acting cool and sophisticated.
Why don't you go down in your backyard
and make a noise like a coyote?
What? Well, maybe it'll scare
the girls, they'll run in here.
Oh, that's cool and sophisticated.
If we time it right, who knows what we might see.
No, that won't work.
What would Fonzie do if he were in our shoes?
Fonzie would never get in our shoes he's too cool.
And we're not Fonz.
Here we are, 17 years old.
In less than a year, we'll be old enough to be drafted
and put our lives on the line for our country.
Don't remind me.
Even so, 19-year-old girls,
girls just two years older than we are
still think of us as kids.
That's very profound, Rich,
but I've already learned my lesson,
and my teachers are sleeping in the next room.
When I was in summer camp
and the girls were in the next cabin,
we used to knock on the wall and they'd always knock back.
Did it work? Never failed.
Well, let's try it.
Knock on the wall. Yeah.
Three?
It worked! It never fails.
Okay, what comes next?
We went to sleep. We were just kids.
Thanks, Rich.
You know, I was thinking, Rich
maybe they're going through the same problem
we're going through, huh?
What do you mean?
Well, maybe they're wondering what we're doing.
I bet you if we go out in the hall
and they know we're not asleep, they'll come out. Come on.
All right.
Hey, then what? Whatever.
Look, we didn't get a good-night kiss.
I'd even settle for that.
Come on.
Boy, sure is a nice night for a walk, eh, Rich?
Yeah, the
the rug feels great in bare feet.
What's going on?
Oh, uh, we were just, um, on our way to the bathroom.
Together? Yeah, I was showing him the way.
That's where we're going now. The bathroom.
Good night.
At least we made 'em giggle.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Hey, Rich, that's it. That's it!
We'll laugh They'll think we're having
such a good time they'll come join us.
Just start laughing? Yeah, like this.
Hey, you guys, will you be quiet!
I'm trying to sleep!
Okay, that's it, Rich.
That's it. I give up.
I give up!
I'm a failure with chicks.
Oh, Pots. No, it's true.
All those dates and making out, it's just a front.
Potsie, you're not a failure.
When a naked girl yells at you
to shut up, man, you're a failure.
Look, I just got a thought
It's really gonna cheer you up.
I doubt it.
Now, listen.
Fonzie knows that those three girls
are staying overnight here, and so does Ralph.
So what?
What a great lie!
Lie?
Hey, Rich, uh
we're the only ones who know about this, right?
Right.
That means
if we keep our mouths shut, we're heroes.
Hey, this is almost as good
as if we really did something! Yeah!
Hey, Rich, I'm not a failure.
Well, that's what I told you.
You know what I want to know?
What? How old do you have to be
before 19-year-old girls stop thinking of you as a kid?
When the kid turns 20.
Well, there must be girls somewhere
who think of us as men.
There are
but Joanie's friends are too short.
Good night, Rich.
Good night, Potsie.
It's 7:00 in the morning, Howard.
Okay, okay! You've announced the time
every half hour since we've been driving!
It's like being married to the telephone time lady!
I still think it was silly to leave so early.
I couldn't stand those people bickering
for another second, Marion.
They probably couldn't stand our bickering, either.
Yeah, well, we were bickering because they were bickering.
At least we beat the traffic.
The only traffic at 4:00 in the morning is owls.
And every time I tried to sleep,
you turned the car radio on.
That's so I wouldn't fall asleep!
I don't want to talk anymore.
I just want to go upstairs, get in bed and collapse.
I just want to go upstairs, get in bed and collapse.
In bed already?
You must have had your nightgown on under your clothes.
Listen.
Marion, I-I'm sorry we had that argument.
I guess it was all my fault.
It's just that all that aggravation last night
got me kind of grumpy.
So, uh I hope you'll forgive me.
Listen, uh
why don't I go inside and freshen up, and
then we can make up the way we always do, huh?
Sometimes I think I argue
because it's so much fun making up.
Richard, could I please have the soap?
Marion!
Excuse me.
Marion Marion?
I'm here!
Are you the guy with the distributor?
Dad, you're home.
Oh, what a surprise!
I'll bet.
How was your trip?
Boy, all I can is,
there must have been some poker game here last night.
Tell Fonzie good-bye for me.
I will. Okay, see ya!
So long.
Well, they seem like pretty nice girls, Richard.
But that doesn't excuse what you did last night.
It's not that I'm saying you did anything wrong,
but whatever it is you did do,
you shouldn't have done it.
You understand?
I guess. Good.
Now, what is it you did last night?
Well, do you want to hear what really happened
or the lie that we're gonna tell everybody else?
Start with the lie it's probably more interesting.
Cuddle up, cuddle up ♪
Ooh, ooh ♪
And then my father really chewed me out
for the open liquor cabinet.
Yeah, yeah, get to the good stuff.
I want to know what happened with the quail.
Buy me a soda, Ralphie, and I'll tell you
every tantalizing little moment.
I'll buy you all the sodas you want.
I got 227 nickels.
Let's go.
You know, Fonzie,
there were three girls there last night.
Two of them had good looks and good builds but
their personalities weren't that good.
Then there was one who didn't look that good,
but her personality was terrific.
Now, why is that always the way?
'Cause if you're a built chick,
you don't need any personality, and vice versa.
You know what kind of girls I like?
No, I don't know. Surprise me.
I like a girl with a nice personality,
a cute face and a cute build.
No kidding!
What's your idea of the perfect girl, Fonzie?
45-22-34, with her own Harley.
Hey!
Happy days ♪
Thanks, Ralphie. I'm paying, I'm paying.
Oh!
Everybody freeze!
Uh-uh Come on! It's my money!
These are such happy days. ♪
Hello, sunshine, good-bye rain ♪
She's wearing my school ring on her chain ♪
She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, happy days! ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye gray sky, hello blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Those happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine happy days. ♪
So what am I suppose to do with the tray?
You don't have a window.
Oh, gee, I'm sorry.
I'll get one tomorrow, right?
Until that time just leave it right here.
Okay.
Hey, Fonzie, we were just leaving.
Hey, sit tight, huh, Bag?
I eat fast.
Let's go ask him.
Hey, Fonzie.
Hey, Fonz.
Are you doing anything special tonight?
Would you like to play poker with us?
No, thanks a lot.
I got enough toothpicks.
Oh no, this is gonna be a big, big game, Fonzie.
My parents are going out of town
and we got the house to ourselves.
Yeah, we're gonna start at midnight and play till dawn.
Can't you see it, Fonz?
Six guys in a smoke filled room playing till dawn.
Aw, come on, you guys don't smoke.
What're you gonna do, burn toast?
How about it, Fonz, will you play?
I got better things to do till dawn.
Hey, let Fonzie eat, will you?
I gotta get home.
Hey, look.
If I rush, one of us is gonna get a stomachache.
Another one?
Marion, we're only gonna be gone for 24 hours.
Yes, I know, dear,
but I don't know what Martha's gonna be wearing,
so I have to be prepared.
Oh, don't forget to have your talk with Richard.
Oh.
Richard, your mother's worried about you.
What are you planning for tonight, huh?
A party, girls?
We were planning on playing some poker.
Oh, well, I guess poker's okay.
Only don't tell your mother.
You know she doesn't like gambling.
I wish I could stay and play with you.
We've been to Martha and Ed's three times
and the plumbing has been out every time.
Now they guarantee that it's fixed,
but just in case, maybe you better get me the
The plunger.
Bye-bye, dear. We'll be home tomorrow night before dinner.
All right. Give me a kiss, dear.
Me, too. Bye-bye.
Bye, sweetheart.
Don't worry about anything now.
No, we won't.
Oh, and here's the plunger.
Bye. So long.
I don't want to spend the night at Lisa's.
She always wants to play house
and I always have to be the maid.
You're going over to Lisa's house
and have fun like you're supposed to.
Well, Joanie, do you have everything, dear?
Got your jammies, your toothbrush?
Yeah, I got 'em.
Do you have your broom?
I'm not bringing my broom.
Oh, Lisa darling,
I'm sure we have plenty of brooms and mops
and buckets for Joanie to use.
Come on, Joanie.
Yeah.
Bye, Richie.
Come on, Joanie.
So long, Joanie. Now, go on.
You're gonna have a real good time.
It's always fun staying over at a friend's house.
We're alone!
Made in the shade.
Yeah.
With the whole house all to ourselves.
Just you and me and Miss September.
Right.
We can do anything we want.
Hey, Richie!
We're just a couple of bachelors on the loose.
Hey, hey, what do you want to do?
Take a nap.
Take a nap?
A couple of bachelors on the loose take a nap?
Look, Rich, we're gonna be
playing poker all night, right? Right.
Nobody's used to staying up all night, right?
By 4:00 all the other guys will start fading out.
And we'll clean up.
You got it take the couch, I'll take the chair.
Right.
Potsie, don't leave this laying around.
Expecting your minister to drop in?
Go to sleep.
There.
Potsie?
Yeah, Rich?
I can't sleep.
Neither can I.
All right.
That's it. Tired enough for a nap?
Let's play ten more. I think I will be then, okay?
Okay. All right, here we go.
Oh, hi.
Hello. I think this is yours. Yeah.
Can you tell me where is the nearest gas station?
It's about eight blocks down that way.
Yeah, seven or eight blocks. Closer to eight I'd say.
That's what I said.
Eight blocks, huh.
Well, you see my girlfriends and I,
we broke down in our car.
Oh, well, hey,
why don't my friend and I help you out?
By the way, my name is Warren Webber.
How do you do?
The little kids call me Potsie.
But I'll tell you what we can do.
We can push it back here, then we'll call
our good friend Fonz who's a whiz with cars.
Oh, are you are you sure you have time?
Oh, yeah. We we weren't gonna do anything.
We were just gonna take a nap.
Gee, you guys are swell.
I really appreciate it.
Come on.
She digs us, Rich, she digs us. Yeah?
Come on.
Well, what do you think, Fonz?
Yeah, I like what I see.
I think he's talking about the car, Fonzie.
Then I don't like what I see 'cause I don't see any oil.
I see goo on there, like you're making taffy.
Well, we don't know very much about engines.
No, we just get in and fill it up with gas.
Hold it, hold it, you're gonna have to pull back.
I can't have girls breathing on me when I'm working.
Oh.
Just wait till I'm through.
Why don't we go in the house.
That sounds fantastic.
If you have any trouble, Fonz, just give me a yell.
"We just get in and fill it up with gas."
Well, this stuff should be ready in a few minutes now.
Oh, hey, Fonz.
Hey, I got some bad, bad news for you girls.
Your distributor's shot.
What? The distributor.
Yeah. I gotta get a new one.
I can't do that till tomorrow morning.
Well, how much will that cost?
About 35 bucks.
That much?
Listen, since you girls are not going anywhere for awhile
how about one of you taking a ride on my bike
and seeing the sights?
Oh, I'd love to.
Well, you're not exactly my first choice, but
you never know.
Come on.
Thanks. Hey.
You never know.
20, 30 five, six We've got $37.50.
Do you know a good motel for $2.50?
Motel? What do you want to go to a motel for?
Well, we have to sleep.
Forget about a motel.
We got plenty of room right here.
Right, Rich?
Well, I don't know.
It's the least we can do.
You're in a jam and what's mine is yours.
We couldn't do that. Why not?
We got the whole house to ourselves.
Rich's folks are away.
Well, we couldn't impose on you boys.
Impose! You're not imposing.
Are they imposing, Rich? What imposing?
We have absolutely nothing to do, have we?
We've got the poker game.
Poker game? I don't know anything about a poker game.
No poker game. What a poker game?
We're not having a poker game.
Yeah, but we told Ralph No poker.
But remember we invited
Richie, could I talk to you for a minute in private, huh?
Excuse us, will you? Certainly.
What imposing?
Are you crazy, Rich?
Don't you realize this is the chance of a lifetime?
I don't think that they like us enough
for it to be a chance of a lifetime.
What, are you chickening out?
I'm not chickening out,
but I'm just not sure it's the right thing to do.
Rich, they're beauty queens!
College girls with no place to sleep.
Yeah, and we're letting them
stay here under false pretenses.
Yeah.
It's just not gonna work out. They're older than us.
They gotta be at least 19 or 20.
Rich, don't you know older women go for younger guys?
Like in that movie, Tea and Sympathy.
That was just a movie.
Rich, if you can't believe Hollywood, who can you believe?
They research things like that. I guess.
Great, then I can call Ralph and the guys,
tell them the poker game's off.
I suppose.
It's just that
now, these girls are very nice, but
having them stay overnight
I don't think my parents would go for it, that's all.
You're right, Rich.
Parents never go for chances of a lifetime.
Well, it would be very hard to explain
having three strangers in the house even if they
Hi. Oh, hi.
Hi.
I sure appreciate your letting me use the shower.
I feel so much better.
You smell nice.
It's my perfume. "Midnight Desire".
Oh, it's it's nice.
Thanks.
How long to midnight?
Ah, that's cute.
Call Ralph and give him the bad news.
Oh, reading Coronet, huh? Yup.
Oh, did you read that article a couple of months ago
about the new morals?
No, I didn't.
Oh, it was real interesting.
Things that nobody would do before Uh-huh?
Well, uh, they're sure doing them now.
No, thanks.
Well, yeah, what are they doing?
Oh, well, they're, uh well
How would you phrase it, Rich?
I didn't read the article.
Oh, uh
well, actually I just skimmed it myself.
But I've been meaning to read it again to refresh my memory.
Hmm.
Hey, you know what I'd like?
A drink.
Oh yeah, well, we got Nehi in the ice box.
What would you like strawberry or orange?
No, I mean a drink drink.
Oh, a drink drink?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, Potsie and I were just saying
that it was about time for a belt.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's 9:30.
Past our usual time.
We didn't know you girls drank.
Open the bar, Rich.
Right. Open up the bar.
Yeah, it's cocktail time. Happy Hour.
Open the bar.
T.G.I.F.
Thank God It's Friday.
Yeah! Hey!
Let's see.
There you go.
Little bit of everything. Just name it.
We got Crème de Menthe.
Uh curacao.
Oh, hey, apricot brandy.
Who's that?
I don't know. Here, take it.
Uh, I'll be back in a minute.
Well, let's keep the party going.
After all, it's "Tgif."
Tgif?
Yeah, just like Rich said T.G.I.F. Tgif.
Hey, Richie, my mother gave me a message
that the game is canceled.
That's not true, is it?
Yeah, yeah, it's canceled.
Why? I've been sleeping since 5:00.
I'm wide awake, ready to play.
Something came up.
You mean I wasted a nap?
It couldn't be helped.
Oh, great now I've got
a nap in my system and nowhere to go.
Go for a walk.
Nah, nah, my pockets are full of nickels.
I went to the bank this afternoon
and got all this change.
See?
I'm so weighted down, I can hardly move.
What's going on here What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
Hey. I smell perfume.
You got girls in here?
No No! No.
No, that's not perfume.
Th-That's, uh, bug spray. Bug spray.
Sure. For sexy roaches.
You dirty rats, that's why you canceled the game.
Those are just some of Joanie's friends. Joanie's friends.
12-year-old girls. 12-year-old girls.
Oh, yeah? Little girls?
Yeah. Oh. Oh, teeny, tiny.
Richie, do you have any strawberries?
Chrissy makes really fun daiquiris.
No. No strawberries.
Oh, that's too bad. Well.
Hi.
Oh, no, Ralph!
Quick, lock the door.
Rich, I'm a friend! Let me in!
I'll get you guys for this!
It's okay, he's gone.
You know, we probably should've let him in.
I mean, he is a good friend.
Yeah, but Come on, guys, let me in, please
That's why I didn't let him in
'cause he is a friend.
If we let him in here with his Red Buttons face
and broad shoulders,
he'd cut us out with the chicks, and we'd hate him.
I was just trying to save our friendship, Rich.
You're a good friend, Potsie.
Hey, I really appreciate this, Chris.
I mean, I don't usually get a
crick in my neck when I cha-cha.
It probably happened when you tripped over the couch.
Bye, Fonz! Thanks for the ride!
Whew! Hi. Hi.
Did you have fun? Oh, I had a great time.
Yeah? And that Fonz is cute.
Do you know that old corny line about the submarine races?
He used that on you?
No, I used it on him.
Almost worked, too.
Hey, how about another stack of wax, huh?
Hey, the guys invited us to stay overnight.
Oh, really? That's nice of you.
It's nice of you.
I'm tired I'm gonna hit the sack.
Yeah, me, too. Come on, Penny,
I'll show you where we're supposed to sleep.
Okay. Good night. Good night.
Do you need anything, like, uh,
extra blankets or pajamas?
No. I have my overnight bag.
I sleep in the raw. Night.
Why didn't we say something?
I was kind of waiting for you.
I would have, but when Ruth said
she slept in the raw, my tongue got stuck to my teeth.
I know, that shook me up, too.
What are we doing here?
Huh? When right out there
are three beautiful girls in various stages of dress?
Well, what are we supposed to do?
Well, Rich, the secret's acting cool and sophisticated.
Why don't you go down in your backyard
and make a noise like a coyote?
What? Well, maybe it'll scare
the girls, they'll run in here.
Oh, that's cool and sophisticated.
If we time it right, who knows what we might see.
No, that won't work.
What would Fonzie do if he were in our shoes?
Fonzie would never get in our shoes he's too cool.
And we're not Fonz.
Here we are, 17 years old.
In less than a year, we'll be old enough to be drafted
and put our lives on the line for our country.
Don't remind me.
Even so, 19-year-old girls,
girls just two years older than we are
still think of us as kids.
That's very profound, Rich,
but I've already learned my lesson,
and my teachers are sleeping in the next room.
When I was in summer camp
and the girls were in the next cabin,
we used to knock on the wall and they'd always knock back.
Did it work? Never failed.
Well, let's try it.
Knock on the wall. Yeah.
Three?
It worked! It never fails.
Okay, what comes next?
We went to sleep. We were just kids.
Thanks, Rich.
You know, I was thinking, Rich
maybe they're going through the same problem
we're going through, huh?
What do you mean?
Well, maybe they're wondering what we're doing.
I bet you if we go out in the hall
and they know we're not asleep, they'll come out. Come on.
All right.
Hey, then what? Whatever.
Look, we didn't get a good-night kiss.
I'd even settle for that.
Come on.
Boy, sure is a nice night for a walk, eh, Rich?
Yeah, the
the rug feels great in bare feet.
What's going on?
Oh, uh, we were just, um, on our way to the bathroom.
Together? Yeah, I was showing him the way.
That's where we're going now. The bathroom.
Good night.
At least we made 'em giggle.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Hey, Rich, that's it. That's it!
We'll laugh They'll think we're having
such a good time they'll come join us.
Just start laughing? Yeah, like this.
Hey, you guys, will you be quiet!
I'm trying to sleep!
Okay, that's it, Rich.
That's it. I give up.
I give up!
I'm a failure with chicks.
Oh, Pots. No, it's true.
All those dates and making out, it's just a front.
Potsie, you're not a failure.
When a naked girl yells at you
to shut up, man, you're a failure.
Look, I just got a thought
It's really gonna cheer you up.
I doubt it.
Now, listen.
Fonzie knows that those three girls
are staying overnight here, and so does Ralph.
So what?
What a great lie!
Lie?
Hey, Rich, uh
we're the only ones who know about this, right?
Right.
That means
if we keep our mouths shut, we're heroes.
Hey, this is almost as good
as if we really did something! Yeah!
Hey, Rich, I'm not a failure.
Well, that's what I told you.
You know what I want to know?
What? How old do you have to be
before 19-year-old girls stop thinking of you as a kid?
When the kid turns 20.
Well, there must be girls somewhere
who think of us as men.
There are
but Joanie's friends are too short.
Good night, Rich.
Good night, Potsie.
It's 7:00 in the morning, Howard.
Okay, okay! You've announced the time
every half hour since we've been driving!
It's like being married to the telephone time lady!
I still think it was silly to leave so early.
I couldn't stand those people bickering
for another second, Marion.
They probably couldn't stand our bickering, either.
Yeah, well, we were bickering because they were bickering.
At least we beat the traffic.
The only traffic at 4:00 in the morning is owls.
And every time I tried to sleep,
you turned the car radio on.
That's so I wouldn't fall asleep!
I don't want to talk anymore.
I just want to go upstairs, get in bed and collapse.
I just want to go upstairs, get in bed and collapse.
In bed already?
You must have had your nightgown on under your clothes.
Listen.
Marion, I-I'm sorry we had that argument.
I guess it was all my fault.
It's just that all that aggravation last night
got me kind of grumpy.
So, uh I hope you'll forgive me.
Listen, uh
why don't I go inside and freshen up, and
then we can make up the way we always do, huh?
Sometimes I think I argue
because it's so much fun making up.
Richard, could I please have the soap?
Marion!
Excuse me.
Marion Marion?
I'm here!
Are you the guy with the distributor?
Dad, you're home.
Oh, what a surprise!
I'll bet.
How was your trip?
Boy, all I can is,
there must have been some poker game here last night.
Tell Fonzie good-bye for me.
I will. Okay, see ya!
So long.
Well, they seem like pretty nice girls, Richard.
But that doesn't excuse what you did last night.
It's not that I'm saying you did anything wrong,
but whatever it is you did do,
you shouldn't have done it.
You understand?
I guess. Good.
Now, what is it you did last night?
Well, do you want to hear what really happened
or the lie that we're gonna tell everybody else?
Start with the lie it's probably more interesting.
Cuddle up, cuddle up ♪
Ooh, ooh ♪
And then my father really chewed me out
for the open liquor cabinet.
Yeah, yeah, get to the good stuff.
I want to know what happened with the quail.
Buy me a soda, Ralphie, and I'll tell you
every tantalizing little moment.
I'll buy you all the sodas you want.
I got 227 nickels.
Let's go.
You know, Fonzie,
there were three girls there last night.
Two of them had good looks and good builds but
their personalities weren't that good.
Then there was one who didn't look that good,
but her personality was terrific.
Now, why is that always the way?
'Cause if you're a built chick,
you don't need any personality, and vice versa.
You know what kind of girls I like?
No, I don't know. Surprise me.
I like a girl with a nice personality,
a cute face and a cute build.
No kidding!
What's your idea of the perfect girl, Fonzie?
45-22-34, with her own Harley.
Hey!
Happy days ♪
Thanks, Ralphie. I'm paying, I'm paying.
Oh!
Everybody freeze!
Uh-uh Come on! It's my money!
These are such happy days. ♪
Hello, sunshine, good-bye rain ♪
She's wearing my school ring on her chain ♪
She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, happy days! ♪