Rescue Me s02e12 Episode Script
Happy
- Honey? - Hmm.
A little higher.
A little to the left.
Whoa, not Ted Kennedy left.
Oh.
Split the difference.
- How's that? - Uh, a little more towards Ted.
- You know what? - Honey, honey, we were so close.
Yeah, we've been close for like 15 minutes.
My back's killing me, you know? Plus, I don't get it.
I thought we were gonna put it on this wall here.
No, that wall needs to stay clear so when Dad gets his inheritance, we can buy the apartment next door, and we can push it and make this room bigger.
I don't want to spend money we don't have.
We're spending money like crazy.
We talked about this.
This would be a natural TV area.
You have more room to breathe here.
This can become like your dining room area.
You can put a dining table in there, whatever.
If we can still afford it.
I mean, I don't get this stuff.
We've got bird cages-- That's good, that's good.
Yeah? all over the place, but no birds, and balloons.
I mean, if they lit up, they'd make sense.
But who has balloons in Brooklyn? Ah, that's nice.
Oh, that's-- that's good.
Yeah? Oh, oh.
You know, so I-- Where are you going? What? Honey, the kids.
Yo, Gavin.
Caught a body down in Chinatown.
You want to work it with me? No, I'm actually kind of involved over here.
Yeah, I see that.
I never knew you were a fan of the open water.
I'm a fan of anyplace where people ain't shooting at my ass.
Your stepmother croaks, you just put in your papers and expect to cash in.
Hey, I've been making inquiries, jerk-off.
I spoke to the estate lawyer.
He says we got a sizable payout coming.
Shit, Dad and those 28 mangy cats-- that's all the old slope had.
Oh, lucky lady.
Yeah, have fun with your stiff.
Oh, my God.
This is amazing.
Yeah, I know.
Oh.
Baby, I don't just mean the sex.
I mean everything.
You, me, the kids, this apartment-- It's like we never skipped a beat.
I know.
It's like magic.
Whew! We should renew our vows.
Huh? You know, have like a little ceremony.
Invite our friends and family, let the whole world know that we're still devoted to one another.
Well, that sounds like a lot of work, honey.
Can't we just get some tattoos or something? Tommy, it'll be a fresh start.
Everything else-- all in the past.
Everything? Yeah.
Deal? All right.
Deal.
The ring maker will be here in 10 minutes.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
The ring maker? Hon? On another day C'mon, c'mon With these ropes I tied can we do no wrong Now we grieve 'cause now is gone Things were good when we were young With my teeth locked down I can see the blood Of a thousand men who have come and gone Now we grieve 'cause now is gone Things were good when we were young Is it safe to say C'mon, c'mon Was it right to leave C'mon, c'mon Will I ever learn C'mon, c'mon C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon The pearl symbolizes faithfulness and humility.
The ruby symbolizes beauty, happiness, love and passion.
And the emerald symbolizes rebirth, hope, and peace.
Oh, I like all that stuff.
Yeah.
Which one of these is-- is the most, you know, special.
You mean price-wise? I didn't say anything about prices.
I'm talking, you know, what's the most rare? Oh, well, that would be the ruby, then the emerald, then the pearl and then the-- Onyx.
Got you.
You know, what would, like, one ring look like with all four of the stones? Well, we can design it in any formation you desire.
Uh-huh.
I like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Um, what's this-- this brown one here? What is that? That's an agate.
Right, and that symbolizes what? Dirt, soil, the outdoors.
Uh-huh, and-- and how rare would that one be? Not very.
Right.
That could be an interesting thing, you know? It's kind of like common people.
Like back to our roots.
You know, back to the, uh-- to the earth.
You know? Dirt? Well, no, earth.
Back to the earth.
Back to the earth, honey, from whence we came? Hon? Asshole, you don't have any cubic zirconias here? Tommy? - Coming.
You can't help me out a little bit? You don't like the whole earth thing? The flowers and the roots-- - You should be dead.
- Uh, what? that fall that you took three weeks ago.
Tommy, how many second chances do you think you're gonna get? Look, most of the couples that we went to school with who got married-- almost all of them are either dead or divorced, just like we almost were.
Baby, this isn't about the money.
This is about what little time we have left.
Oh, shit! Jesus, you scared me, Jeannie.
It's okay.
It's just a little nick.
Go ahead downstairs.
Rose has got breakfast going.
Go ahead.
Go ahead, honey.
I'm okay.
Go ahead.
Come on, bro.
Finish up.
We're gonna be late.
I got problems, dude.
No shit.
But we can't get into that right now.
I don't want to miss the 40 minutes of commercials they show before-- No, no, no.
I mean, I got serious problems.
I felt a-- a lump on-- on my testicle.
You felt a what on your what? My nut, a lump on my nut.
No, no.
Come on.
It's probably nothing.
You think? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Think of your marble bag like it's a chick's purse.
There's all kinds of shit you don't know about.
Go nosing around, you find something you don't like.
No, I know my balls pretty good, and this definitely feels like a new addition to the party.
No, I think you're flipping out over nothing.
Come on.
Let's go.
All right, let's see.
Put your leg up.
It's not a wart.
You can't look at it.
So pop the hood.
Come on.
Put your leg up.
If I'm gonna do this, turn your head, okay? I don't want to make any eye contact with you at all.
All right now, cough.
He does it.
Such a tool.
Which one is it? The left.
Yeah? Mine or yours? Mine.
Can you hurry this up please? Yeah, all right, you know what? Just to compare, I should probably just feel mine, you know? Oh, whoa.
Yeah, I feel something.
Me or you? It's you.
It's a lump or something, Whatever it is, it's weird.
Hi, Laura.
What's up? You tell me.
Uh, you know what, bro? I think we should rain-check on the movie, because I gotta-- There's some stuff that I gotta take care of.
But really, get it checked out.
Hey, Laura, wait up.
Hey, Franco, I'm kind of in a hurry right now.
Hey, what's the rush? You know, I just gotta go home and just wash this place off of me.
Yeah, well, I can help you out with that, you know? Light a few candles, pop a bottle of vino, maybe run you a bath or something? Franco, we had this conversation.
We're done, over, finis,no mas.
Listen, baby, okay? You didn't give me a chance to explain, all right? Now, look, what happened last week-- us seeing other people and rubbing each other's nose in it-- Yeah, it was pretty shitty.
But I have never been more sure that we should be together.
Franco, I wasn't-- There is no better way to measure how much you love someone than by how far you'll go to hurt them.
What? Do you really believe that? Listen, when my dad first went to propose to my mom, she turned him down cold.
She didn't want anything to do with him.
Her brother had her convinced he was bad news.
So you know what he did? My dad? He goes to her brother's house, whups his ass within an inch of his life.
Just leaves his grill laying all over the street.
She was moved, and who wouldn't be, huh? They were at city hall the next day getting their blood tests taken.
They've been married ever since.
So, how about that bath? Sean and Probie are in the locker room.
I bet they're just dying to take a bath with you.
Excuse me.
Hey, do you know how much longer it's going to be? - I'll go back and check for you.
- Thank you.
The doctor will see you now.
I'm telling you, Doc.
She totally undressed me with her eyes.
I'm surprised that's all she did.
What do you mean? Well, I tell you this in confidence since you're a friend of the family's.
Diana's got a rep for sleeping with her patients.
That's why we call her "Dirty Diana.
" No way.
So I got a shot? Anyone with a penis and a pulse has got a shot with Dirty Diana.
And on that note, would you stand up for me, please? Now just relax a minute.
I need to apply this gel to the testicles.
Oh, is, uh-- is that really necessary? Well, it allows us to get a good reading from the ultrasound.
Sorry, you know, I'm just a little-- It's okay.
Just take a deep breath.
Dirty Diana.
She's probably had sex in every room in this hospital, including this one.
You being a firefighter, I'd say you got a damn good shot at getting a piece of that.
Um, everything okay? Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Don't worry about it.
It's okay.
That's right.
Get all that hoity-toity furniture out of here.
You know what we need? We need row on row of deluxe La-Z-Boys.
And LCD's on the wall.
Big as you got.
Line the walls.
That way we can watch every game ever played at any given moment.
- Good idea.
- Consider it done.
Hey.
The renovations are already under way, huh? - Well, Jenny would've wanted it that way.
- Oh, yeah.
Where'd the pussy go? Been asking that question since high school.
Well, we put all the cats in a separate wing at the end of the apartment.
Jeffrey looks after them, pretty much keeps to himself.
Yeah.
Out of sight, out of mind, huh? Yeah.
Dad, I got a little surprise for you.
This is my lucky week.
Hey, Daddy.
What, no hug? I haven't seen you in many years, Peggy Sue.
I hardly recognized you.
I hate that name.
Why you gotta call me that name? My name's Maggie.
I don't like that name.
It's the name your mother and I gave you.
I don't care.
It's a stupid name.
Just because you and mom were a Buddy Holly fan doesn't mean I gotta be stuck with that name for the rest of my life.
Can I get a drink, please? Vodka.
Right.
Vodka it is.
Is the SWAT team gonna descend on me if I light up in here? No, it's fine.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em, Mags.
-Here you go.
- Hey, thanks.
So how you been, Dad? - Like you don't know.
-Your old man's old lady passed away.
Yeah, I know.
Mom, she died last year.
- No, no.
His new old lady, Mrs.
"Nig.
" - You married a black chick? Her name was Mrs.
Ng, Jenny Ng.
And she was Korean.
Oh, a Chink broad, real step up.
So I presume, uh, you're here to get a slice of the pie.
What are you talking about? I came here to see my family.
Why, was she, uh-- Was she rich? You think I bought all this on my fireman's pension? Mikey, Mikey, take it easy on the girl.
She never even had the decency to come to her own mother's funeral.
Yet here she is trying to put her hand in my pockets, which ain't gonna happen never! How dare you! It's not my fault I got locked up the night before her funeral.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You got locked up? It was a bar fight.
She had it coming to her, the stupid cooz.
You picking up this odor, Teddy? It's the smell of, uh, horseshit, compliments of my beautiful daughter, Peggy Sue.
It's Maggie, you stupid old fart.
To hell with you, and to hell with this, and to hell with your stupid hoity-toity Park Avenue apartment.
And to hell with your stupid, dead Chink wife.
Tommy, will you take me to the hotel? Sure.
Well, she's mellowed.
Hey.
Oh.
Hey, Jerry.
I'm sorry.
I thought you were working a double.
No, I got out of it.
You okay? Yeah, I'm a bit worn out.
I'll bet.
Do you, uh, want me to put a plate in the oven? No, no.
I'm not hungry.
So, uh, how's my girl? She's had some good moments today.
But she kept talking about a little girl-- Sherri, Shari? - Shelly? - You know her? No.
Uh, some nonsense, I guess.
Well, look at the bright side.
All your mistakes today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Oh, you're a good husband, Jerry.
And a good man.
You'll get through this.
I should go look in on her.
Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.
Okay.
Hey.
What are you doing up here? You should be asleep by now.
I was dreaming about Shelly.
Jeannie, Shelly is-- She was all grown up.
She was beautiful.
And we had grandbabies.
A whole bunch of them crawling all over the house.
And you were picking them up and kissing their little bellies.
And they were laughing.
We were all laughing.
Sweetie, that was just a dream.
Shelly died a long time ago, when she was just a baby herself.
I know, but I don't mind dreaming about her.
It means I remember.
And if I can remember her after all these years, never mentioning her name, it means I'll remember you and Peter, and I can take you with me when I go.
Go? You're not going anywhere.
I'm so sorry for what I've put you through.
I've been such an embarrassment.
Hey, hey, hey.
Uh-uh.
You don't ever have to apologize to me for anything.
Things may be muddled most of the time, but I'm clear in mind when I tell you now that I love you.
I love you despite all the things I hate about you, all the lousy, unspeakable things you've done.
All your terrible flaws are forgiven.
Did you hear me, you old fool? I love you.
Oh, I love you too, babe.
I love you too.
Want a refill? So, why'd you come back? Not you too.
I'm just saying, Mags.
Yeah.
I figured you and me were always close, had a special bond, backed each other up.
I know.
I know.
I figure the only reason why you like me is I'm the one person the family hates worse than you.
There might be a sliver of truth to that, but you know I love you, Mags, and Johnny likes you.
Don't pump sunshine up my ass, Tommy.
Johnny's scared shitless of me, always was.
Uncle Teddy tolerates me, and, well, it's obvious how Daddy feels.
Hey, you know, I know I'm no saint.
I'm spiteful, angry, untrustworthy, hateful and dishonest, just like Dad.
But I'm trying to get better.
Me too.
Yeah? I can tell.
Who decorated this place, Elton John? No, I-- I kind of left that all up to Janet this time around.
Well, it looks like your birds flew the coop.
Well, those are-- We never really had birds.
They're, um, what's the word? Decorative.
Mm, they're queer.
And that means they're expensive.
Well, you know, Mrs.
"Nig" was loaded, and, uh, you know, Dad's the sole beneficiary, so-- Jesus, Tommy, I thought you might have brightened up over the years.
I mean, did you ever consider if that money doesn't come down? Did you ever consider that? Yeah, I've considered it, but, you know, I mean, Janet's in this new kick.
It's like, she wants to live in the now.
You know, be in the now.
Then do that.
Live in the now.
Be in the now.
That's how I live.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Perfect.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Come on.
I'm having a hard time believing this isn't helping.
- You gone blind or something? - I'm in love with Laura, Sean.
Can't you see that? Yes, yes, I can.
But what I can't see, is you limiting yourself to one girl, bro.
Like, I don't-- I don't think you got it in you.
A'ight.
Fair enough.
Maybe you're right.
But I'll tell you this Sean-O-- I've climbed every mountain, I've been to every valley, and still, I haven't found what I'm looking for.
Wow.
Have you checked where the streets have no name, Bono? You know what I'm talking about, asshole.
Yes.
For once in my life, I do.
And you know what? If you ask me, I think she's standing over there in stiletto heels and a mesh thong.
Hi! He'll never change.
You don't know that.
Oh, Laura, come on.
If you didn't work together, you might at least be able to kid yourself into believing he could, but, I mean, you're right on top of each other like that.
There's not even room for lies.
It's just unhealthy.
Take what happened when you came with me to N.
A.
You came along, but you weren't really there to support me.
You were there for yourself.
That's not true.
And that is okay.
All right, I admit, there was wall-to-wall pussy there.
You had every right, you had every reason, to go trolling.
I pulled the same thing on you a dozen times.
Really? When? Remember your cousin's graduation party-- the hot one? You banged my sweet cousin Angie? No.
Oh, Jesus.
I banged your sister.
Missy? Franco, she was like 17.
I know.
I waited a year.
You okay? Uh, yeah.
I guess.
He's got under my skin 'cause I see that he's trying to change and to grow.
And he just keeps getting in his own way.
You know, maybe that's why I love him.
Oh, God.
Sorry.
No, you don't.
You don't love him.
You love what you hope he'll be, but he'll never be that.
He's not gonna change.
No, you don't know that.
See? This is what I'm talking about.
Most guys don't even have a conscience.
That's why we need a good woman around to balance out the nasty shit you do.
That's why I'm in love with Laura.
She was there for me, through everything.
Through my injury, Keela's accident, my rehab.
There was nothing in it for her but making me happy.
- Huh.
- I'll see you tomorrow, man.
Hey, wait, Franco.
Will you, uh, slip me a couple hundred bucks? A couple hundred clams? For what? This cute blonde over there-- She does this thing with her feet.
It's like-- All right, man.
It's-- I mean, it's not like I meant to get a hard-on, you know? He's telling me this sexy story while he was touching my junk, you know? Okay, okay, I get the picture.
Yeah, it was really awkward.
He's even kind of friends with my dad.
He asked me to have dinner with him next week.
- What? He what? What did you say? - I'm not really sure.
I was so confused and embarrassed.
It was like he seduced me or something.
Well, tell me you said no, Mike, please.
- Mike? - I felt like I owed him something.
Okay, you know what? Now you've entered the final frontier.
Congratulations, Gaylord.
Come on.
I'm in a real bind with this doctor.
Not to mention the fact I might have ball cancer.
Chief's gonna give me an hour off to go back and get my test results.
What should I do? Uh, bring flowers.
Careful.
Hey, hey, hey.
What the hell? - What the hell is this shit? - Just a few pieces.
Franco put it on the card.
You said.
- You're good for it, right? - I told you guys to frame it up, not go and raid Bally's for Christ's sake.
Hey.
Hi.
What's going on? Hey, Janet.
Hi.
Building a gym, huh? Yeah.
I was just telling these guys what you told me.
The time we have left-- let's make the most of it.
Where's the, uh-- the rowing machines and the treadmills I told you to get, Garrity? Uh, we ordered them right? Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I just brought a few wedding invitation samples to look at.
Honey, I think I told you, just look at the most expensive ones, the prettiest ones-- Wait a second.
Wedding? Is Colleen getting married? She's a little young for that, don't you think? You're a piece of work.
No, Tommy and me.
We're renewing our vows.
Oh, wow.
I didn't realize you had to do that.
You don't have to do it.
We, you know, want to do it.
Yeah, but, honey, you didn't tell them? I was gonna surprise them.
Surprise.
Congratulations.
It's a surprise.
Go in the kitchen.
We can get some privacy.
That's great.
Garrity, order those free weights.
I want those here tomorrow.
Yeah, you got it.
Free weights.
He just said he wanted us to save money.
Where the hell am I gonna get free weights? Michael Silletti? Michael Silletti? Hi.
I'm Michael.
I'm seeing here there were some irregularities with the equipment yesterday.
My equipment? The medical equipment.
Oh.
We're gonna have to repeat the examination.
What? No.
I'm not doin' it.
It won't take long.
They'll have your diagnosis within the hour.
You know what? Take the nut.
One's plenty for me.
Um, I'm not sure I understand.
You can tell Dr.
Levy I'm not doing the examination again.
Well, Dr.
Levy was called away on an emergency, so Dr.
Newman will be doing the honors.
Hello, Michael.
Are we all set? Yeah.
Right this way.
These are for you.
Thanks.
I'll put them back in the vase.
Hey.
Hey, what's up man? Listen, I, uh-- I've been thinking, uh, about your nuts.
And I think it's gonna be okay.
Look what happened to Lance Armstrong.
He turned out well.
Yeah, but was that before or after he landed on the moon? No,LanceArmstrong-- the guy that won the Tour de France, like, 26 times in a row.
Whoa.
Holy shit, bro.
You don't even know what the Tour De France is, do you? I want to say, wine tasting? Jesus Christ, Mike.
It's a bike race, you know? The bike race that he won after they de-balled him.
Don't you watch ESPN? Yeah, but I don't pay attention to bike races.
Well, maybe you should, seeing as your bike may be losing a wheel.
You know what I mean? I'm not losing a wheel.
You're not? No.
Really? You got cleared? Uh, it's just a hydrocele.
Oh, what's that? It's like, um, this little-- You have no idea, do you? No, but I get to keep the kids.
Hey, there you go.
That's good.
No, I didn't want to say anything, you know? I mean, getting one of your balls lopped off-- that's like a freak show.
Hey, what's going on with the other thing? You let that guy down easy? Yeah, he wasn't there.
But you know the hot doctor? The one that he used to seduce me with? Yeah.
She gave me another examination.
Nice.
What happened? It's more like whatdidn't happen, you know? Let's just say I didn't respond the way I did the last time with him.
Yikes.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Sean? Huh? You think I'm gay, dude? Uh, no, no, no.
You're just-- You were probably just nervous.
Well, yeah.
I was nervous.
Plus, I rubbed one out beforehand, so I didn't have a round in the chamber.
Oh, smart move.
You know, works every time.
Yeah.
No, man, we bust your balls about being gay 'cause you hang out with a lot of fags, and you work out with them, and you go dancing, and, you know, quite frankly, look at your shirt.
But you're a real guy's guy.
You're a pussy hound if you really think about it.
Red river! Red river! Red river! Ladies and gentlemen! Yeah! What do you think? You like that? I knew it was gonna be funny.
When you said that thing about not getting a hard-on? Come on.
That's, like, hilarious.
You are such a homo.
- We figured, if you were gonna be the catcher, -we'd get the wig-- make it a little easier for the probie.
- Whose idea was this? Oh, you didn't think that was just gonna go away? What do you think about having a gay firefighter? Hey, Chief.
Telephone call.
That thing kinda looks like you.
Yeah, what do you got? She's locked herself in the bathroom.
How long? An hour.
You can't get her out yourself? I don't know what else to do.
All right.
I'll be there as soon as I can.
Those tuna steaks look so yummy.
Yeah.
How do you like yours? I like them pink, very pink.
Will you get this, T? - "T"? - What? You called me T.
Oh.
I am sorry.
I didn't mean to.
- You think it's funny? - No, I think it's a slip of the tongue.
Well, you're a damn riot.
You're goddamn hysterical.
Please, you're overreacting.
You know what's funny is that I think I'm allergic to carrots now.
It's like when I eat them, I-- What the hell? Why don't you invite Tommy over? He can give us some tips, because it's so hard for me to satisfy you.
Don't.
Maybe we could take him to bed with us.
Stop it! Huh? Every guy's fantasy, right? Cut it out.
Well, you're just full of piss and vinegar.
I said cut the shit! Move! Get off! Bitch.
Why don't we call Tommy up, you stupid little bitch? Huh? Maybe I could watch you suck him off, huh? Would you like that? Maybe you could watch me get it from behind.
You'd like that, huh? Get off me! Get off me! You bitch.
Don't say a goddamn word.
I got a package here for a Sheila Keefe.
I'll sign for it.
Working out, huh? Oh, yeah.
Oh, look.
The new gardening set you ordered just came in.
Fine.
Rose? Jeannie? Anybody down here? Rose? Hey, Rose.
Big emergency, I can't get in touch.
Rose, didn't you hear me calling you? Rose.
My husband, toward the end of his life, said a lot of ugly horrible things to me.
You knew it didn't mean anything, you knew it came out of nowhere, but some of the time, it still stung you.
On his worst day, nothing ever like that.
What are you talking about? What did she say to you? Jeannie? Jeannie.
Jeannie, sweetie, come on.
Please, open the door.
Jeannie, come on.
Open the door now! - Jerry! - Open the door! - Jerry! - What? Ah, shit! Oh, Christ! Call 911! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, Jeannie! Easy! Come on! Hurry! Oh, baby, come on.
Hold on.
Stay with me, sweetie.
Stay with me.
Come on.
Hold in there.
Hold in there.
Rose! You know, I think Colleen wants to major in African-American studies.
I think it's an interesting choice.
Bowling Green supposedly has a great program.
And when the other two leave for college, it will just be the two of us again, like it was in the beginning.
and we can do all the things that we dreamed of, like traveling.
Wouldn't that be wonderful? You can retire early, and we'll use your pension to go to all of the places we've never been-- Africa, Egypt, Japan.
Oh, and I talked to Lorraine about buying a house down the shore.
Nothing expensive.
Just someplace that we can get away from the city every now and then.
Tommy? What do you think? Hey, kids! Hey, Dad.
Hey.
What's going on? What the hell is she doing here? Okay, okay.
Now listen to me, okay? She's changed, all right? Nobody changes, Tommy.
You know that.
I changed.
I quit drinking.
That doesn't mean you've changed.
That means you're a pussy.
Great.
Just talk to her, please, all right? Come on, Mags.
I don't know what you expect to get out of this.
No expectations, Daddy.
I just-- I just need to be back in the fold.
You know, your stepmother was a real bitch.
You remind me of her.
The Chink? Yeah, the Chink.
Now come on over here.
You know, I don't like getting so rough with you.
It's just, you get me so angry sometimes.
I feel like I have to live up to that asshole, Tommy.
I mean, what did he ever do that was so great, you know? All he ever did was abandon you when you needed him most, and all you do is talk about how wonderful he is.
But that's no excuse.
Here.
Does that feel better? Good girl.
I'll get the ice.
Hey.
Hey.
Come on in.
I was just finishing up some stuff.
You want a beer? No, I'm good.
What happened? You hurt yourself? No, I'm fine.
Well, tell me.
Let me see.
Jesus Christ.
F-Bomb? It's my fault.
I pressed him about letting me go.
He got upset.
You know, I would really, really, really like to talk to this guy.
He'll kill you, Kenny.
I'm not gonna let that happen.
$26,340, okay? It's all about money with these scumbags? There.
- Where did you get this? - I told you, I had it lying around.
This is everything you have.
No, you know what? You take it, you give it to him, he let's you go, okay? And then it's just you and me, together.
Thank you.
Looks like everybody is finally here, so let's get right into it, shall we? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mrs.
Ng has left a sizable account here in Michael Gavin's name.
All right.
The remainder of her cash and liquidated assets will be spent seeing that her beloved cats live the rest of their lives in the utmost comfort.
She's leaving money to the cats? What a fruitcake! A substantial piece of that will be donated to a cause we all know was close to Jenny's heart-- cat cancer.
Uh, don't keep us in suspense, pal.
How much? - $50,000.
- For the cats.
The bulk of the estate goes to the cats.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Hold on a second here, pal.
You told me that Dad was getting a sizable payout.
To most people, We're still cutting up that 50 grand though, right? You mean to tell me, she's leaving $60 million to the goddamn cats? And the cancer foundation.
- I got cancer.
- You do? - I'm pretty sure.
- Cat cancer.
And that's it? Uh, not quite.
Jeffrey has compiled a list of charges you've accrued over the days since Jenny's passing.
You owe the estate just over $20,000.
We can work out an installment plan.
I'm outta here.
I'll kill you, you little shit! $50,000? That's my money! No! Teddy, Teddy, Teddy, Teddy, leave it alone.
I'll kill you and all your cats! Teddy! You want to see my new trick, Dad? I'd love to see your new trick, but what did I tell you about putting the helmet on? Okay.
Okay? Okay.
All right.
Go in the house, grab your helmet, all right? Okay.
You all pumped for this wedding, or what? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, pretty pumped.
It's gonna be nice, right? I don't know, man.
Sometimes she starts talking about stuff like she's got a blueprint for the next 20 or 30 years.
And it just seems so far away to me, man.
And it's not-- It's like two different mind-sets, you know what I mean? Thinking a week ahead is hard for me, you know what I mean? Especially feeling happy about stuff.
Like the other day, man, at this wedding shop we went to, she came out in this dress.
It's-- Man! As soon as I see her in that thing, I'm lost.
She's a gorgeous girl.
You know what I mean? Hey, big boy.
Hey, did you pass Connor on your way out? No, I thought he was out here with you.
Connor? Connor? Connor? Get in the truck.
Tommy? - Get in the truck! Get in the truck, now! - What happened? Oh, my God.
Open the door.
He's fine.
He's fine, okay? He doesn't look fine.
Oh, my God! He's okay.
Put this on.
Oh, my God! Calm down.
Watch your legs.
Tommy, he's not breathing.
He's fine! Open the door! God! Just stay calm, okay? Just stay calm.
All the wild horses All the wild horses Tethered with tears in their eyes May no man's touch ever tame them May no man's reins ever chain them And may no man's weight Ever defrayed your soul And as for the clouds Just let them roll Roll away Roll away As for the clouds Just let them roll Roll Away Roll Away Cloudland.
A little higher.
A little to the left.
Whoa, not Ted Kennedy left.
Oh.
Split the difference.
- How's that? - Uh, a little more towards Ted.
- You know what? - Honey, honey, we were so close.
Yeah, we've been close for like 15 minutes.
My back's killing me, you know? Plus, I don't get it.
I thought we were gonna put it on this wall here.
No, that wall needs to stay clear so when Dad gets his inheritance, we can buy the apartment next door, and we can push it and make this room bigger.
I don't want to spend money we don't have.
We're spending money like crazy.
We talked about this.
This would be a natural TV area.
You have more room to breathe here.
This can become like your dining room area.
You can put a dining table in there, whatever.
If we can still afford it.
I mean, I don't get this stuff.
We've got bird cages-- That's good, that's good.
Yeah? all over the place, but no birds, and balloons.
I mean, if they lit up, they'd make sense.
But who has balloons in Brooklyn? Ah, that's nice.
Oh, that's-- that's good.
Yeah? Oh, oh.
You know, so I-- Where are you going? What? Honey, the kids.
Yo, Gavin.
Caught a body down in Chinatown.
You want to work it with me? No, I'm actually kind of involved over here.
Yeah, I see that.
I never knew you were a fan of the open water.
I'm a fan of anyplace where people ain't shooting at my ass.
Your stepmother croaks, you just put in your papers and expect to cash in.
Hey, I've been making inquiries, jerk-off.
I spoke to the estate lawyer.
He says we got a sizable payout coming.
Shit, Dad and those 28 mangy cats-- that's all the old slope had.
Oh, lucky lady.
Yeah, have fun with your stiff.
Oh, my God.
This is amazing.
Yeah, I know.
Oh.
Baby, I don't just mean the sex.
I mean everything.
You, me, the kids, this apartment-- It's like we never skipped a beat.
I know.
It's like magic.
Whew! We should renew our vows.
Huh? You know, have like a little ceremony.
Invite our friends and family, let the whole world know that we're still devoted to one another.
Well, that sounds like a lot of work, honey.
Can't we just get some tattoos or something? Tommy, it'll be a fresh start.
Everything else-- all in the past.
Everything? Yeah.
Deal? All right.
Deal.
The ring maker will be here in 10 minutes.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
The ring maker? Hon? On another day C'mon, c'mon With these ropes I tied can we do no wrong Now we grieve 'cause now is gone Things were good when we were young With my teeth locked down I can see the blood Of a thousand men who have come and gone Now we grieve 'cause now is gone Things were good when we were young Is it safe to say C'mon, c'mon Was it right to leave C'mon, c'mon Will I ever learn C'mon, c'mon C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon The pearl symbolizes faithfulness and humility.
The ruby symbolizes beauty, happiness, love and passion.
And the emerald symbolizes rebirth, hope, and peace.
Oh, I like all that stuff.
Yeah.
Which one of these is-- is the most, you know, special.
You mean price-wise? I didn't say anything about prices.
I'm talking, you know, what's the most rare? Oh, well, that would be the ruby, then the emerald, then the pearl and then the-- Onyx.
Got you.
You know, what would, like, one ring look like with all four of the stones? Well, we can design it in any formation you desire.
Uh-huh.
I like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Um, what's this-- this brown one here? What is that? That's an agate.
Right, and that symbolizes what? Dirt, soil, the outdoors.
Uh-huh, and-- and how rare would that one be? Not very.
Right.
That could be an interesting thing, you know? It's kind of like common people.
Like back to our roots.
You know, back to the, uh-- to the earth.
You know? Dirt? Well, no, earth.
Back to the earth.
Back to the earth, honey, from whence we came? Hon? Asshole, you don't have any cubic zirconias here? Tommy? - Coming.
You can't help me out a little bit? You don't like the whole earth thing? The flowers and the roots-- - You should be dead.
- Uh, what? that fall that you took three weeks ago.
Tommy, how many second chances do you think you're gonna get? Look, most of the couples that we went to school with who got married-- almost all of them are either dead or divorced, just like we almost were.
Baby, this isn't about the money.
This is about what little time we have left.
Oh, shit! Jesus, you scared me, Jeannie.
It's okay.
It's just a little nick.
Go ahead downstairs.
Rose has got breakfast going.
Go ahead.
Go ahead, honey.
I'm okay.
Go ahead.
Come on, bro.
Finish up.
We're gonna be late.
I got problems, dude.
No shit.
But we can't get into that right now.
I don't want to miss the 40 minutes of commercials they show before-- No, no, no.
I mean, I got serious problems.
I felt a-- a lump on-- on my testicle.
You felt a what on your what? My nut, a lump on my nut.
No, no.
Come on.
It's probably nothing.
You think? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Think of your marble bag like it's a chick's purse.
There's all kinds of shit you don't know about.
Go nosing around, you find something you don't like.
No, I know my balls pretty good, and this definitely feels like a new addition to the party.
No, I think you're flipping out over nothing.
Come on.
Let's go.
All right, let's see.
Put your leg up.
It's not a wart.
You can't look at it.
So pop the hood.
Come on.
Put your leg up.
If I'm gonna do this, turn your head, okay? I don't want to make any eye contact with you at all.
All right now, cough.
He does it.
Such a tool.
Which one is it? The left.
Yeah? Mine or yours? Mine.
Can you hurry this up please? Yeah, all right, you know what? Just to compare, I should probably just feel mine, you know? Oh, whoa.
Yeah, I feel something.
Me or you? It's you.
It's a lump or something, Whatever it is, it's weird.
Hi, Laura.
What's up? You tell me.
Uh, you know what, bro? I think we should rain-check on the movie, because I gotta-- There's some stuff that I gotta take care of.
But really, get it checked out.
Hey, Laura, wait up.
Hey, Franco, I'm kind of in a hurry right now.
Hey, what's the rush? You know, I just gotta go home and just wash this place off of me.
Yeah, well, I can help you out with that, you know? Light a few candles, pop a bottle of vino, maybe run you a bath or something? Franco, we had this conversation.
We're done, over, finis,no mas.
Listen, baby, okay? You didn't give me a chance to explain, all right? Now, look, what happened last week-- us seeing other people and rubbing each other's nose in it-- Yeah, it was pretty shitty.
But I have never been more sure that we should be together.
Franco, I wasn't-- There is no better way to measure how much you love someone than by how far you'll go to hurt them.
What? Do you really believe that? Listen, when my dad first went to propose to my mom, she turned him down cold.
She didn't want anything to do with him.
Her brother had her convinced he was bad news.
So you know what he did? My dad? He goes to her brother's house, whups his ass within an inch of his life.
Just leaves his grill laying all over the street.
She was moved, and who wouldn't be, huh? They were at city hall the next day getting their blood tests taken.
They've been married ever since.
So, how about that bath? Sean and Probie are in the locker room.
I bet they're just dying to take a bath with you.
Excuse me.
Hey, do you know how much longer it's going to be? - I'll go back and check for you.
- Thank you.
The doctor will see you now.
I'm telling you, Doc.
She totally undressed me with her eyes.
I'm surprised that's all she did.
What do you mean? Well, I tell you this in confidence since you're a friend of the family's.
Diana's got a rep for sleeping with her patients.
That's why we call her "Dirty Diana.
" No way.
So I got a shot? Anyone with a penis and a pulse has got a shot with Dirty Diana.
And on that note, would you stand up for me, please? Now just relax a minute.
I need to apply this gel to the testicles.
Oh, is, uh-- is that really necessary? Well, it allows us to get a good reading from the ultrasound.
Sorry, you know, I'm just a little-- It's okay.
Just take a deep breath.
Dirty Diana.
She's probably had sex in every room in this hospital, including this one.
You being a firefighter, I'd say you got a damn good shot at getting a piece of that.
Um, everything okay? Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Don't worry about it.
It's okay.
That's right.
Get all that hoity-toity furniture out of here.
You know what we need? We need row on row of deluxe La-Z-Boys.
And LCD's on the wall.
Big as you got.
Line the walls.
That way we can watch every game ever played at any given moment.
- Good idea.
- Consider it done.
Hey.
The renovations are already under way, huh? - Well, Jenny would've wanted it that way.
- Oh, yeah.
Where'd the pussy go? Been asking that question since high school.
Well, we put all the cats in a separate wing at the end of the apartment.
Jeffrey looks after them, pretty much keeps to himself.
Yeah.
Out of sight, out of mind, huh? Yeah.
Dad, I got a little surprise for you.
This is my lucky week.
Hey, Daddy.
What, no hug? I haven't seen you in many years, Peggy Sue.
I hardly recognized you.
I hate that name.
Why you gotta call me that name? My name's Maggie.
I don't like that name.
It's the name your mother and I gave you.
I don't care.
It's a stupid name.
Just because you and mom were a Buddy Holly fan doesn't mean I gotta be stuck with that name for the rest of my life.
Can I get a drink, please? Vodka.
Right.
Vodka it is.
Is the SWAT team gonna descend on me if I light up in here? No, it's fine.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em, Mags.
-Here you go.
- Hey, thanks.
So how you been, Dad? - Like you don't know.
-Your old man's old lady passed away.
Yeah, I know.
Mom, she died last year.
- No, no.
His new old lady, Mrs.
"Nig.
" - You married a black chick? Her name was Mrs.
Ng, Jenny Ng.
And she was Korean.
Oh, a Chink broad, real step up.
So I presume, uh, you're here to get a slice of the pie.
What are you talking about? I came here to see my family.
Why, was she, uh-- Was she rich? You think I bought all this on my fireman's pension? Mikey, Mikey, take it easy on the girl.
She never even had the decency to come to her own mother's funeral.
Yet here she is trying to put her hand in my pockets, which ain't gonna happen never! How dare you! It's not my fault I got locked up the night before her funeral.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You got locked up? It was a bar fight.
She had it coming to her, the stupid cooz.
You picking up this odor, Teddy? It's the smell of, uh, horseshit, compliments of my beautiful daughter, Peggy Sue.
It's Maggie, you stupid old fart.
To hell with you, and to hell with this, and to hell with your stupid hoity-toity Park Avenue apartment.
And to hell with your stupid, dead Chink wife.
Tommy, will you take me to the hotel? Sure.
Well, she's mellowed.
Hey.
Oh.
Hey, Jerry.
I'm sorry.
I thought you were working a double.
No, I got out of it.
You okay? Yeah, I'm a bit worn out.
I'll bet.
Do you, uh, want me to put a plate in the oven? No, no.
I'm not hungry.
So, uh, how's my girl? She's had some good moments today.
But she kept talking about a little girl-- Sherri, Shari? - Shelly? - You know her? No.
Uh, some nonsense, I guess.
Well, look at the bright side.
All your mistakes today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Oh, you're a good husband, Jerry.
And a good man.
You'll get through this.
I should go look in on her.
Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.
Okay.
Hey.
What are you doing up here? You should be asleep by now.
I was dreaming about Shelly.
Jeannie, Shelly is-- She was all grown up.
She was beautiful.
And we had grandbabies.
A whole bunch of them crawling all over the house.
And you were picking them up and kissing their little bellies.
And they were laughing.
We were all laughing.
Sweetie, that was just a dream.
Shelly died a long time ago, when she was just a baby herself.
I know, but I don't mind dreaming about her.
It means I remember.
And if I can remember her after all these years, never mentioning her name, it means I'll remember you and Peter, and I can take you with me when I go.
Go? You're not going anywhere.
I'm so sorry for what I've put you through.
I've been such an embarrassment.
Hey, hey, hey.
Uh-uh.
You don't ever have to apologize to me for anything.
Things may be muddled most of the time, but I'm clear in mind when I tell you now that I love you.
I love you despite all the things I hate about you, all the lousy, unspeakable things you've done.
All your terrible flaws are forgiven.
Did you hear me, you old fool? I love you.
Oh, I love you too, babe.
I love you too.
Want a refill? So, why'd you come back? Not you too.
I'm just saying, Mags.
Yeah.
I figured you and me were always close, had a special bond, backed each other up.
I know.
I know.
I figure the only reason why you like me is I'm the one person the family hates worse than you.
There might be a sliver of truth to that, but you know I love you, Mags, and Johnny likes you.
Don't pump sunshine up my ass, Tommy.
Johnny's scared shitless of me, always was.
Uncle Teddy tolerates me, and, well, it's obvious how Daddy feels.
Hey, you know, I know I'm no saint.
I'm spiteful, angry, untrustworthy, hateful and dishonest, just like Dad.
But I'm trying to get better.
Me too.
Yeah? I can tell.
Who decorated this place, Elton John? No, I-- I kind of left that all up to Janet this time around.
Well, it looks like your birds flew the coop.
Well, those are-- We never really had birds.
They're, um, what's the word? Decorative.
Mm, they're queer.
And that means they're expensive.
Well, you know, Mrs.
"Nig" was loaded, and, uh, you know, Dad's the sole beneficiary, so-- Jesus, Tommy, I thought you might have brightened up over the years.
I mean, did you ever consider if that money doesn't come down? Did you ever consider that? Yeah, I've considered it, but, you know, I mean, Janet's in this new kick.
It's like, she wants to live in the now.
You know, be in the now.
Then do that.
Live in the now.
Be in the now.
That's how I live.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Perfect.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Come on.
I'm having a hard time believing this isn't helping.
- You gone blind or something? - I'm in love with Laura, Sean.
Can't you see that? Yes, yes, I can.
But what I can't see, is you limiting yourself to one girl, bro.
Like, I don't-- I don't think you got it in you.
A'ight.
Fair enough.
Maybe you're right.
But I'll tell you this Sean-O-- I've climbed every mountain, I've been to every valley, and still, I haven't found what I'm looking for.
Wow.
Have you checked where the streets have no name, Bono? You know what I'm talking about, asshole.
Yes.
For once in my life, I do.
And you know what? If you ask me, I think she's standing over there in stiletto heels and a mesh thong.
Hi! He'll never change.
You don't know that.
Oh, Laura, come on.
If you didn't work together, you might at least be able to kid yourself into believing he could, but, I mean, you're right on top of each other like that.
There's not even room for lies.
It's just unhealthy.
Take what happened when you came with me to N.
A.
You came along, but you weren't really there to support me.
You were there for yourself.
That's not true.
And that is okay.
All right, I admit, there was wall-to-wall pussy there.
You had every right, you had every reason, to go trolling.
I pulled the same thing on you a dozen times.
Really? When? Remember your cousin's graduation party-- the hot one? You banged my sweet cousin Angie? No.
Oh, Jesus.
I banged your sister.
Missy? Franco, she was like 17.
I know.
I waited a year.
You okay? Uh, yeah.
I guess.
He's got under my skin 'cause I see that he's trying to change and to grow.
And he just keeps getting in his own way.
You know, maybe that's why I love him.
Oh, God.
Sorry.
No, you don't.
You don't love him.
You love what you hope he'll be, but he'll never be that.
He's not gonna change.
No, you don't know that.
See? This is what I'm talking about.
Most guys don't even have a conscience.
That's why we need a good woman around to balance out the nasty shit you do.
That's why I'm in love with Laura.
She was there for me, through everything.
Through my injury, Keela's accident, my rehab.
There was nothing in it for her but making me happy.
- Huh.
- I'll see you tomorrow, man.
Hey, wait, Franco.
Will you, uh, slip me a couple hundred bucks? A couple hundred clams? For what? This cute blonde over there-- She does this thing with her feet.
It's like-- All right, man.
It's-- I mean, it's not like I meant to get a hard-on, you know? He's telling me this sexy story while he was touching my junk, you know? Okay, okay, I get the picture.
Yeah, it was really awkward.
He's even kind of friends with my dad.
He asked me to have dinner with him next week.
- What? He what? What did you say? - I'm not really sure.
I was so confused and embarrassed.
It was like he seduced me or something.
Well, tell me you said no, Mike, please.
- Mike? - I felt like I owed him something.
Okay, you know what? Now you've entered the final frontier.
Congratulations, Gaylord.
Come on.
I'm in a real bind with this doctor.
Not to mention the fact I might have ball cancer.
Chief's gonna give me an hour off to go back and get my test results.
What should I do? Uh, bring flowers.
Careful.
Hey, hey, hey.
What the hell? - What the hell is this shit? - Just a few pieces.
Franco put it on the card.
You said.
- You're good for it, right? - I told you guys to frame it up, not go and raid Bally's for Christ's sake.
Hey.
Hi.
What's going on? Hey, Janet.
Hi.
Building a gym, huh? Yeah.
I was just telling these guys what you told me.
The time we have left-- let's make the most of it.
Where's the, uh-- the rowing machines and the treadmills I told you to get, Garrity? Uh, we ordered them right? Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I just brought a few wedding invitation samples to look at.
Honey, I think I told you, just look at the most expensive ones, the prettiest ones-- Wait a second.
Wedding? Is Colleen getting married? She's a little young for that, don't you think? You're a piece of work.
No, Tommy and me.
We're renewing our vows.
Oh, wow.
I didn't realize you had to do that.
You don't have to do it.
We, you know, want to do it.
Yeah, but, honey, you didn't tell them? I was gonna surprise them.
Surprise.
Congratulations.
It's a surprise.
Go in the kitchen.
We can get some privacy.
That's great.
Garrity, order those free weights.
I want those here tomorrow.
Yeah, you got it.
Free weights.
He just said he wanted us to save money.
Where the hell am I gonna get free weights? Michael Silletti? Michael Silletti? Hi.
I'm Michael.
I'm seeing here there were some irregularities with the equipment yesterday.
My equipment? The medical equipment.
Oh.
We're gonna have to repeat the examination.
What? No.
I'm not doin' it.
It won't take long.
They'll have your diagnosis within the hour.
You know what? Take the nut.
One's plenty for me.
Um, I'm not sure I understand.
You can tell Dr.
Levy I'm not doing the examination again.
Well, Dr.
Levy was called away on an emergency, so Dr.
Newman will be doing the honors.
Hello, Michael.
Are we all set? Yeah.
Right this way.
These are for you.
Thanks.
I'll put them back in the vase.
Hey.
Hey, what's up man? Listen, I, uh-- I've been thinking, uh, about your nuts.
And I think it's gonna be okay.
Look what happened to Lance Armstrong.
He turned out well.
Yeah, but was that before or after he landed on the moon? No,LanceArmstrong-- the guy that won the Tour de France, like, 26 times in a row.
Whoa.
Holy shit, bro.
You don't even know what the Tour De France is, do you? I want to say, wine tasting? Jesus Christ, Mike.
It's a bike race, you know? The bike race that he won after they de-balled him.
Don't you watch ESPN? Yeah, but I don't pay attention to bike races.
Well, maybe you should, seeing as your bike may be losing a wheel.
You know what I mean? I'm not losing a wheel.
You're not? No.
Really? You got cleared? Uh, it's just a hydrocele.
Oh, what's that? It's like, um, this little-- You have no idea, do you? No, but I get to keep the kids.
Hey, there you go.
That's good.
No, I didn't want to say anything, you know? I mean, getting one of your balls lopped off-- that's like a freak show.
Hey, what's going on with the other thing? You let that guy down easy? Yeah, he wasn't there.
But you know the hot doctor? The one that he used to seduce me with? Yeah.
She gave me another examination.
Nice.
What happened? It's more like whatdidn't happen, you know? Let's just say I didn't respond the way I did the last time with him.
Yikes.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Sean? Huh? You think I'm gay, dude? Uh, no, no, no.
You're just-- You were probably just nervous.
Well, yeah.
I was nervous.
Plus, I rubbed one out beforehand, so I didn't have a round in the chamber.
Oh, smart move.
You know, works every time.
Yeah.
No, man, we bust your balls about being gay 'cause you hang out with a lot of fags, and you work out with them, and you go dancing, and, you know, quite frankly, look at your shirt.
But you're a real guy's guy.
You're a pussy hound if you really think about it.
Red river! Red river! Red river! Ladies and gentlemen! Yeah! What do you think? You like that? I knew it was gonna be funny.
When you said that thing about not getting a hard-on? Come on.
That's, like, hilarious.
You are such a homo.
- We figured, if you were gonna be the catcher, -we'd get the wig-- make it a little easier for the probie.
- Whose idea was this? Oh, you didn't think that was just gonna go away? What do you think about having a gay firefighter? Hey, Chief.
Telephone call.
That thing kinda looks like you.
Yeah, what do you got? She's locked herself in the bathroom.
How long? An hour.
You can't get her out yourself? I don't know what else to do.
All right.
I'll be there as soon as I can.
Those tuna steaks look so yummy.
Yeah.
How do you like yours? I like them pink, very pink.
Will you get this, T? - "T"? - What? You called me T.
Oh.
I am sorry.
I didn't mean to.
- You think it's funny? - No, I think it's a slip of the tongue.
Well, you're a damn riot.
You're goddamn hysterical.
Please, you're overreacting.
You know what's funny is that I think I'm allergic to carrots now.
It's like when I eat them, I-- What the hell? Why don't you invite Tommy over? He can give us some tips, because it's so hard for me to satisfy you.
Don't.
Maybe we could take him to bed with us.
Stop it! Huh? Every guy's fantasy, right? Cut it out.
Well, you're just full of piss and vinegar.
I said cut the shit! Move! Get off! Bitch.
Why don't we call Tommy up, you stupid little bitch? Huh? Maybe I could watch you suck him off, huh? Would you like that? Maybe you could watch me get it from behind.
You'd like that, huh? Get off me! Get off me! You bitch.
Don't say a goddamn word.
I got a package here for a Sheila Keefe.
I'll sign for it.
Working out, huh? Oh, yeah.
Oh, look.
The new gardening set you ordered just came in.
Fine.
Rose? Jeannie? Anybody down here? Rose? Hey, Rose.
Big emergency, I can't get in touch.
Rose, didn't you hear me calling you? Rose.
My husband, toward the end of his life, said a lot of ugly horrible things to me.
You knew it didn't mean anything, you knew it came out of nowhere, but some of the time, it still stung you.
On his worst day, nothing ever like that.
What are you talking about? What did she say to you? Jeannie? Jeannie.
Jeannie, sweetie, come on.
Please, open the door.
Jeannie, come on.
Open the door now! - Jerry! - Open the door! - Jerry! - What? Ah, shit! Oh, Christ! Call 911! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, Jeannie! Easy! Come on! Hurry! Oh, baby, come on.
Hold on.
Stay with me, sweetie.
Stay with me.
Come on.
Hold in there.
Hold in there.
Rose! You know, I think Colleen wants to major in African-American studies.
I think it's an interesting choice.
Bowling Green supposedly has a great program.
And when the other two leave for college, it will just be the two of us again, like it was in the beginning.
and we can do all the things that we dreamed of, like traveling.
Wouldn't that be wonderful? You can retire early, and we'll use your pension to go to all of the places we've never been-- Africa, Egypt, Japan.
Oh, and I talked to Lorraine about buying a house down the shore.
Nothing expensive.
Just someplace that we can get away from the city every now and then.
Tommy? What do you think? Hey, kids! Hey, Dad.
Hey.
What's going on? What the hell is she doing here? Okay, okay.
Now listen to me, okay? She's changed, all right? Nobody changes, Tommy.
You know that.
I changed.
I quit drinking.
That doesn't mean you've changed.
That means you're a pussy.
Great.
Just talk to her, please, all right? Come on, Mags.
I don't know what you expect to get out of this.
No expectations, Daddy.
I just-- I just need to be back in the fold.
You know, your stepmother was a real bitch.
You remind me of her.
The Chink? Yeah, the Chink.
Now come on over here.
You know, I don't like getting so rough with you.
It's just, you get me so angry sometimes.
I feel like I have to live up to that asshole, Tommy.
I mean, what did he ever do that was so great, you know? All he ever did was abandon you when you needed him most, and all you do is talk about how wonderful he is.
But that's no excuse.
Here.
Does that feel better? Good girl.
I'll get the ice.
Hey.
Hey.
Come on in.
I was just finishing up some stuff.
You want a beer? No, I'm good.
What happened? You hurt yourself? No, I'm fine.
Well, tell me.
Let me see.
Jesus Christ.
F-Bomb? It's my fault.
I pressed him about letting me go.
He got upset.
You know, I would really, really, really like to talk to this guy.
He'll kill you, Kenny.
I'm not gonna let that happen.
$26,340, okay? It's all about money with these scumbags? There.
- Where did you get this? - I told you, I had it lying around.
This is everything you have.
No, you know what? You take it, you give it to him, he let's you go, okay? And then it's just you and me, together.
Thank you.
Looks like everybody is finally here, so let's get right into it, shall we? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mrs.
Ng has left a sizable account here in Michael Gavin's name.
All right.
The remainder of her cash and liquidated assets will be spent seeing that her beloved cats live the rest of their lives in the utmost comfort.
She's leaving money to the cats? What a fruitcake! A substantial piece of that will be donated to a cause we all know was close to Jenny's heart-- cat cancer.
Uh, don't keep us in suspense, pal.
How much? - $50,000.
- For the cats.
The bulk of the estate goes to the cats.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Hold on a second here, pal.
You told me that Dad was getting a sizable payout.
To most people, We're still cutting up that 50 grand though, right? You mean to tell me, she's leaving $60 million to the goddamn cats? And the cancer foundation.
- I got cancer.
- You do? - I'm pretty sure.
- Cat cancer.
And that's it? Uh, not quite.
Jeffrey has compiled a list of charges you've accrued over the days since Jenny's passing.
You owe the estate just over $20,000.
We can work out an installment plan.
I'm outta here.
I'll kill you, you little shit! $50,000? That's my money! No! Teddy, Teddy, Teddy, Teddy, leave it alone.
I'll kill you and all your cats! Teddy! You want to see my new trick, Dad? I'd love to see your new trick, but what did I tell you about putting the helmet on? Okay.
Okay? Okay.
All right.
Go in the house, grab your helmet, all right? Okay.
You all pumped for this wedding, or what? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, pretty pumped.
It's gonna be nice, right? I don't know, man.
Sometimes she starts talking about stuff like she's got a blueprint for the next 20 or 30 years.
And it just seems so far away to me, man.
And it's not-- It's like two different mind-sets, you know what I mean? Thinking a week ahead is hard for me, you know what I mean? Especially feeling happy about stuff.
Like the other day, man, at this wedding shop we went to, she came out in this dress.
It's-- Man! As soon as I see her in that thing, I'm lost.
She's a gorgeous girl.
You know what I mean? Hey, big boy.
Hey, did you pass Connor on your way out? No, I thought he was out here with you.
Connor? Connor? Connor? Get in the truck.
Tommy? - Get in the truck! Get in the truck, now! - What happened? Oh, my God.
Open the door.
He's fine.
He's fine, okay? He doesn't look fine.
Oh, my God! He's okay.
Put this on.
Oh, my God! Calm down.
Watch your legs.
Tommy, he's not breathing.
He's fine! Open the door! God! Just stay calm, okay? Just stay calm.
All the wild horses All the wild horses Tethered with tears in their eyes May no man's touch ever tame them May no man's reins ever chain them And may no man's weight Ever defrayed your soul And as for the clouds Just let them roll Roll away Roll away As for the clouds Just let them roll Roll Away Roll Away Cloudland.