St. Denis Medical (2024) s02e12 Episode Script

1
Standard practice
initialing the site of injury
to safeguard against any mix-ups,
make sure we know exactly where
Damn it. Oh, Come on.
Oh. [CHUCKLES] Out of ink.
You know what? Screw it.
Left femur I'll remember.
- You sure?
- Oh, yeah, I'll just remember.
Left femur is right for surgery.
And the right femur, not right.
No, that's
[CLEARS THROAT] Okay, forget that.
I'll just lock it in.
Left femur, left femur,
left femur, left femur.
[CLICKS TONGUE] Okay, it's in there.
Uh, and we're talking your left, right?
Can you just get another marker?
Yeah, can we get another
marker in here, please?
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
♪
I'll have our cardiologist
Dr. Axler take a look at it
- just to be safe.
- Axler's not gonna like that.
Well, Axler's just gonna have to deal.
So tell me everything.
It started with tightening,
like someone was sitting on my chest.
Oh, I was just asking about his weekend.
So did you and Michael have a good time?
Is he still a cutie-patootie?
Sorry. Who's Michael?
Uh, Ron's son. Michael is Ron's son.
- Ron?
- Okay, excuse us for a second.
I had a tough moment
with Michael last month.
Listen, I wasn't the greatest dad.
Maybe I ran a little hot.
I'm working on that.
I went to visit Michael in Austin,
and we fell into old patterns.
He poked me.
I took it to ten. That triggered him.
So this trip I am trying
to remain calm no matter what.
And at the risk of sounding arrogant,
I am crushing it.
I don't want to jinx it,
but I'm working on the perfect visit.
I didn't raise my voice
not once, not even a tone.
That's great.
He's even stopping off
for lunch before his flight.
Well, it sounds like
you're really doing the work.
Yeah, not really. I just
agree with everything he says.
He suggested we take
this hot-yoga class.
It smelled bad and felt even worse,
but I was all like,
oh, this is so awesome.
You know, when you're chasing
the perfect visit,
- it almost feels good to lie.
- Is that healthy, though?
I mean, it seems like a bit of an act.
Look, my son is sensitive, okay?
This is the easiest way to do this.
You wouldn't understand
because you don't have kids.
Well, I understand human relationships.
And let me tell you something
conflict is natural.
You know, at Henderson family reunion,
the ham is a-flying.
[CHUCKLES]
But there's a lot of love
there, a lot of love.
[CHUCKLES]
Knife fight at a BabyGap.
Ambulance en route.
Okay, thank you.
[GASPS] Hey, there's
our civic-duty hero.
How was jury duty?
Were any of the jurors crazy?
Everyone was pretty normal.
Were you're not allowed to watch TV
in case they were,
like, discussing the trial?
- Nope.
- I have this fantasy scenario
where I'm on a jury, and we're
really close to a verdict,
and then I say, hold on.
Are we thinking about this
whole thing the wrong way?
This is someone's life
we're talking about.
Did anybody do that?
The case was about land easements.
Mm. This is someone's
easement we're talking about.
That didn't have
the same ring to it at all.
[HUMMING "LAW & ORDER" THEME SONG]
Hey, what's your poison, compadre?
Ah, just a little morning juice,
- something I whip up sometimes.
- Sip for the B-dawg?
Oh, yeah, of course.
Ah, let's see.
Whoa. Whoa-ho-ho.
That is tasty, man. What's in that?
Ah, it's kind of a secret family recipe.
We used to make it
on hot summer days on the farm.
Okay, what you just said,
slap that on a label,
and you got yourself a
premium endcap at Whole Foods.
- "Endcap"?
- We're talking sales, Matty.
Yeah, this could be a good business.
- No, come on.
- Oh, I'm serious.
Uh, Keith, come try Matt's farm juice.
Okay. Hope there aren't
any tree nuts in there
'cause my throat will close up
Yeah, yeah, just drink it, Keith.
Mmm. Yeah. That's numbers.
- Oh, thanks, man.
- Yeah.
How much would you pay for that?
Oh, my gosh, Matt, I'm so sorry.
- I didn't know
- No, in a store, Keith.
Oh, well, it depends how thirsty I am.
Middle of the desert, sky's the limit.
- Middle of a lake
- It's worth 8 bucks, easy.
I tried to include you, Keith.
You saw that, right?
But these chances are gonna dry up, bud.
Yeah. Sorry.
Buffalo Bruce and Matty the Kid
back in the saddle
this time exploring a new frontier,
the food and beverage sector. [CHUCKLES]
Uh, my workstation's over there,
but sometimes I mix it up, so sit here.
Oh, that is not Michael.
That is not him!
How you doing, Joyce?
Oh, my little cutie's all grown up.
Actually, my little cutie's
keeping it tight.
- Joyce.
- Hi. Serena, Ron's favorite.
I'm gonna need all the dirt on
his place, like, immediately.
Yeah, what's his kitchen situation?
- One plate, one cup, one fork?
- Oh, no.
There's a second fork
from Sonic.
[CHUCKLES] I'm not sure
how many dishwasher cycles
it has left in it, though.
- [LAUGHTER]
- Dishwasher cycles.
- Michael, you are hilarious.
- Yep.
- Don't own a lot of forks.
- Shh. Keep talking.
Uh, let's see, first night,
I sweat through my PJs,
'cause Dad keeps it a brisk
80 degrees in there air.
Ugh, like a reptile habitat.
Yeah, I turned it down to 68,
and, miraculously,
he didn't change it back.
It's nice. I wake up
several times during the night.
And I say to myself, this is nice.
No, but it helps with the
What were you
- The brown fat.
- Yes, I have less brown fat.
- More.
- More, more, I have more.
Michael's got no shortage
of opinions on my life,
but I've been handling it
perfectly because of this.
I had to pull this out
a lot this weekend.
"Nod and agree."
I say hot, he says cold.
I say up, he says down.
I don't know where he gets it from.
His mom, I guess.
I'm so glad that Val's case
didn't go longer.
- We really need the bodies.
- Mm, totally.
You know, it's weird
that I've never been summonsed.
- Is it?
- Yeah.
I kind of feel like the city's,
like, saving me
for something bigger, you know?
Like, they don't want
to burn me on some nonsense.
Yeah, maybe.
You know, I can tell
when someone's lying.
It's all in the pupils.
- Uh-huh.
- I'm serious.
If they look up and to the right, lie,
because they're using the
creative part of their brain.
I wonder if Val knew that.
God, I should have trained
her up before the trial.
Dude, Val didn't have jury duty, okay?
She went to Cabo.
- What?
- Yeah.
No offense to your pupil method, but
It's fine.
You're just being a lot
with the jury stuff.
No, I get it.
[OBJECTS RUSTLING, THUDDING]
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Look what I drew.
- Oh, what's this?
It's the logo for my business.
Oh, your business?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
"Nurse Matt's Tonic
just what the doctor ordered."
- Pretty cool, huh?
- Uh-huh.
Is there any doctor
in particular that ordered it?
I don't know.
Just background. Doesn't really matter.
Right. Right, doesn't matter.
Yeah. [SCOFFS]
It's so crazy to think that someday,
like, millions of people
could see this image.
Yeah, that would be
a very special thing for you.
Just you.
I enabled two-factor
authentication for you.
So now you get a text
every time you try to log in.
That looks very secure.
Thank you for doing that.
Hey, Leonard. Leonard, hold up.
You know that, um, angina patient
you referred to me this morning?
It's a good thing
I did a complete workup.
Otherwise, I might not have discovered
a severe case of "drank
too many energy drinks."
Okay, well, given her history
Non-radiating pain, normal EKG.
Okay, well, it was a judgment call.
There have been times
where I didn't admit a person,
- and I came to regret it.
- Oh.
So I'm here to help you work
through your previous screwups?
Hey, uh, tell Yang he's out of a job.
I'm, uh, handling all the
psych cases now, apparently.
Now, just listen here, Axler What?
Don't even engage with this guy.
Oh, Ron doesn't engage,
unless it's with a secret
meatball sub in the men's room.
It was one time!
- Dad.
- Oh
- I-it's just it's it's
- [IMITATES MOCKINGLY]
All you ED doctors are exactly the same.
You just want to kick it
up to Mommy and Daddy.
Look, if I have enough time
this afternoon,
maybe I can help you change your diaper.
Do you have a poopy diaper, Ronnie?
- Do you? Let me see.
- Hey, man.
Okay, hey, this has
escalated, so just walk away.
- Okay?
- Where you going?
The Koala Kare changing table
is this way.
That's too bad, man,
- 'cause I had a good comeback
- It doesn't matter.
Yeah, you're right. It doesn't matter.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I like the way they cut the celery
into these little pieces.
I think it integrates better
into the tuna.
Yeah. No, for sure.
I just want to hold space for a moment
to acknowledge how well
you kept it cool back there.
Yeah, I got to admit
it was a bit of a surprise.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Well, I just thought
You broke the cycle
of masculine aggression.
Well, that was the goal. [SIGHS]
I mean, we're not going to let
some jerk ruin the visit.
So are you just gonna report this to HR,
or do you go right to Joyce?
What? No.
This doesn't need to be reported.
Dad, he grabbed you, said you
had diarrhea in your diaper.
I do not think he mentioned consistency.
If you stay silent on this,
you're contributing to a culture
where that sort of behavior
is acceptable.
Uh
yeah, I'll report him.
Good call.
- You're not gonna report it.
- Yes, I will.
And just to prove to you
how important it is,
I'll go tell Joyce right now,
get this out the way.
Hey, Dad.
Be the change.
Damn.
Hey. Just thinking about your case.
Sounds so cool.
So was it, like, uh,
public land, private land?
It was actually a mix,
since the dominant tenement was public,
but the servient tenement was private.
Got it.
What about the plaintiff?
Uh, like, what was his deal?
Like, what did he look like or
Um
It's kind of crazy you don't remember.
Well, it's just that
there were multiple plaintiffs,
since it was a subdivision
of homeowners suing the town.
The Tinsleys seemed chill
beautiful daughter.
But the Waldrops
had kind of an Amish vibe
flaxen hair, long beards.
Well, except for Ezekiel
[LAUGHS] He was clearly the black sheep.
Right. Right.
Uh, what was the judge's name, again?
Clark Semenson.
And what'd you have for lunch?
Thai.
The satay was dry,
so I got extra peanut sauce.
Bruice Juice. Get your Bruice Juice.
Parker, a little morning BJ
to brighten your day?
Yeah, I was feeling a little
hurt after Matt's betrayal.
But then I realized,
competition is good for the marketplace.
It got my creative juices
flowing, so to speak.
[CHUCKLES] So I dropped some seed money,
bought a fancy juicer,
registered an S Corp.
See, for Matt, this is just a lark.
For me, it's a chance
to be bought out by Nestlé
for a billion dollars someday.
Not too shabby.
No way. You're making juice, too?
Oh, yeah. It's cool, right?
You had your idea. I had my idea.
Awesome. Well, I'm selling mine
at the Alpine Farmers Market
next weekend.
You should jump in my booth.
We could sell side by side,
be tent buddies.
- Yeah, maybe.
- Is it cool if I try it?
Ugh. [COUGHS]
- Does that have alcohol in it?
- What? Of course not.
Why? You think it needs it?
Oh, also, I wrote a jingle.
You want to hear it?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Nurse Matt's ton-ic ♪
Yeah, I'm sorry, bud.
I'm not really feeling it.
Ah, it's a work in progress.
Nurse Matt's ton-ic ♪
[SCOFFS] Freakin' Randy Newman
over here.
Well, she just lied right to my face.
That pupil thing
is bull(BLEEP), by the way.
Don't take it so personally.
She's only lying to you
because you're the boss.
Yeah, I mean, I can understand
why an employee might lie
to, like, a mean boss,
you know, someone who's like,
watch me eat this doughnut,
and and, you can't have any.
And you're
because the other character
like, they love doughnuts, right?
Okay, the point is, I feel
like I make it pretty clear
that I'm a cool boss.
Cool has nothing to do with it.
It's the dance we all do.
You make up an excuse.
No one looks too closely.
It's what's best for all of us.
Sorry. How many people are lying to me?
Like, more than ten?
Alex, this is the system.
Just leave it alone.
I feel like you're not
gonna leave it alone.
No, 'cause I'm cool.
Hey, Joyce, um, real quick
this dumb thing happened
with me and Axler.
If Michael asks, can you tell
him that we already talked?
Oh, so your Mr. Agreeable
routine isn't panning out?
- Joyce, can you just
- Fine.
But I'm doing this
for your hot son, not for you.
Thank you.
Oh, and what happened
with Axler, anyway,
in case it comes up?
Well, he started yelling
at me in the hallway.
He called me a couple of names
and did a crude impression of me.
Uh-huh.
And he also started screaming about,
I had a dirty diaper
and grabbed at my waist.
Can you believe that?
Okay, well, now I'm actually
gonna have to report this.
Wait. What?
Yeah.
What's up, fam?
I just wanted to call
a little meeting
ah, less of a meeting, more of a hang
to talk about scheduling.
Actually, not wearing the right
underwear to sit this way,
so I'm just going to
Okay, cool.
Listen, I get it, all right?
We've all got lives. (BLEEP) happens.
Yeah
we can curse in here.
The point is, if something comes up
and you're out of vacay days,
just come and tell me.
There's no reason
to manufacture some convoluted excuse.
You know, I am here to meet you
with empathy and understanding.
Actually, my nephew is in town,
and I wanted to take him to Sky Zone.
Is it all right if I take off Friday?
Uh, is, like, he
is he sick or something or
No. Would he need to be?
Uh, no. No, that's cool.
Yeah, you know what?
Take Friday morning.
- You got it.
- Uh, I-I said Friday.
Uh, Anybody else? Come on.
All right, guys, keep them coming, okay?
I can take it. I promise.
Yeah?
Yesterday I said I was late
because of car trouble.
But, really, there was a long wait
for the elliptical at my gym.
Huh. I feel lighter already.
Nice, although
I-I, uh, do want to clarify,
they still should be good reasons, okay?
Still should be good.
What counts as a good reason?
Okay, a good reason is, like,
you know, my grandpa died or
I don't know.
Brandon, you're out tomorrow.
Uh, what's going on there?
My grandpa died.
Yeah What's, uh, his name?
Um, Scott.
Hmm.
Well, I got to say
this was a pretty good trip,
a pretty good trip.
Yeah, it was pretty good.
Yeah, I'd say it's one for the books.
- Yeah.
- [CHUCKLES]
You know what?
Why don't we wait outside?
It's better for your rating
if you're there before the car arrives.
Hey, uh, Leonard. Leonard, hold up.
Felix, how can I help you?
Ah, I just want to apologize
for acting like a dick earlier.
I've got a lot of stuff
going on, you know
the Joint Committee review,
and my gardener and I are suing
each other.
- And, anyway, I'm sorry. Sorry.
- I appreciate that.
I really do.
Uh, this is my son, by the way.
Oh, jeez. I-I-I-I didn't know.
- I'm sorry to you, too.
- Hey, you're owning it.
- And that is the first step.
- Okay.
A vulnerable moment from Dr. Axler?
What do I have to do,
order a brain scan?
[LAUGHTER]
Listen, you do not want
to know what's in here.
- [LAUGHTER]
- Look at you chuckle bunnies.
I'm glad you made up.
Yeah, how does she
You told Joyce?
And if the business gets big enough,
maybe I'll get a pushcart,
set up in the atrium.
[GROANS] All the permits,
bottling, insurance.
Plus, refrigeration costs
are gonna kill you
unless your co-packer
can make it shelf stable.
My eyebrow lady
always has "Shark Tank" on.
Oh.
I guess I really hadn't
thought past the logo.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I'll give you 1,000 bucks
for the entire business,
including the recipe and the jingle.
- Wait. Really?
- Uh-huh.
Uh, that's a laughable valuation
for what's essentially
a brand-new category.
If he makes a retail play,
this can easily 10x in 2 years.
- What?
- $2,000.
$5,000.
And Matt gets to keep the logo.
Ugh.
Fine. [LAUGHS]
You went crying to Joyce
like a little baby.
You're the baby.
You had a tantrum
because you didn't want to see
one extra patient.
Hey, Dad, he's not worth it.
Oh, no, he needs to hear this.
Everybody's tiptoeing around
this guy 'cause he's a baby!
You already called me a baby!
Hey, man, you're clearly frustrated.
I can see that.
But you need to be responsible
for how that manifests.
And I'm sorry for yelling.
Do me a favor keep
your mouth shut for a minute.
Wait, now. Wait, now.
You better watch your tongue.
Now, you talk to my son again like that,
you're gonna catch these hands, Felix!
This is ridiculous!
Ron didn't want me to report you.
He only came to me
so that he could tell his son
that he handled it, okay?
What?
Dad, why would you do that?
Well, I was agreeing
with everything you said
because I was trying to show
you that I am not a hothead.
Wait a minute. Is this family talk?
- I'm tapping out.
- What, man?
It's your fault.
You're the one that started it.
And why did you go and get a coffee
at this particular moment?
- Michael, will you hurry up?
- Okay.
Val, we've known each other a long time.
Why don't you just tell me where
you actually were last week
and then we can all move on?
I told you the easement case.
Val, stop, okay? It's me.
You don't have to lie to me.
All right. Let's go down that road.
Let's say I lied because
I went to Cabo with Shelly.
Let's say I did it because
I've been feeling numb lately,
kind of angry, like a pressure cooker.
And the stress is affecting
my relationship.
Suddenly, Shelly's spending
a lot of time at JoAnn Fabrics,
where her ex Kimia works.
She says it's to buy supplies,
but I'm not seeing
a lot of crafting being done.
This is all hypothetical, by the way.
[SOFTLY] Right. Yeah, sure.
So let's say I whisk Shelly
off to Mexico.
We drink. We dance.
We do things to each other's bodies
we would never do stateside.
And now I'm not a pressure cooker.
I'm a crockpot, low and slow,
reliable old Val,
always quick with a joke.
- Again, all hypothetical.
- Mm-hmm.
Let me ask you which story
do you prefer, Alex?
The one where I'm forced
to reveal intimate details
about my sexual struggles
because I have no vacation days left
or the story
where I simply had jury duty?
The second one.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Um, just to ask
in the, um, fictional scenario
where you went to Cabo,
did you have fun?
Hypothetically
it was amazing.
[SIGHS]
Wow.
I've seen these in movies.
- "For our idea."
- It's just a little joke.
If you're offended,
you don't have to cash it.
Now fork over that secret recipe.
What was it, loquats? Yeah?
Is that what gave it
that zing at the end?
Okay.
Tea with a little orange juice in it.
What? That's it?
Easy-peasy.
Well, what what kind of tea?
Just, like, whatever's around.
How much do you use, Matt?
I sort of eyeball it,
so maybe, like, two splashes.
Uh, oh, and then I-I slosh it around.
Did did I write "slosh it around"?
Yeah, really wish the recipe
had called for loquats.
This is, like, next-level insane.
So you didn't like
the matcha lattes I made?
Like sucking on grass clippings.
And that was you farting in hot yoga,
- not the man-bun guy?
- Correct.
Although it did seem
like something he would do.
I guess I'm just like
but why, though?
You're never shy about
everything that pisses you off.
Why the 180?
I just wanted this visit to be perfect.
But why? You're not perfect.
I've never asked you to be perfect.
Well, it's been brought to my attention
that I have not been
the most sensitive father.
I guess I just figured
if this were perfect, then
I don't know
maybe that would show you
that I'm not always the bad guy.
Well, first off, let me just say
that that is very cute.
And while, yes, you could come
at me a little less hard,
it has to be real and not a performance.
I heard that.
Look, we can work on all that.
But I hope you know
that I love you.
I love you, too.
We should order another Uber
because my ratings are going
to nosedive after that.
Dad, you're deflecting.
Receive what I'm saying. I love you.
Sentiment received.
The fact that you said
"sentiment received"
leads me to believe
that you did not, in fact,
receive that sentiment.
What the hell do you want from me?
I love you, son.
Actually, yes.
You know, it's better than
[ROBOTICALLY] "Sentiment
received. I love you."
[LAUGHS] Oh, that's the way I sound?
[NORMAL VOICE]
That's how you sound, yes.
Okay, well, this is how you sound.
[PERKY VOICE] You have to say
"I love you" 100 times a day.
I love I love dirt. I love walls.
- That's me?
- I love bricks. I love
[LAUGHS]
You know what? I'm just gonna say it.
Perfect visit.