The Suite Life of Zack & Cody s02e12 Episode Script

"Pneumatic"-- p-n-e-u-m-a-t-I-c.
Pneumatic.
Exactly.
"Exactly"-- e-x-a-c No.
I mean you were exactly right.
You are so gonna win this spelling bee.
Thanks.
But the other kids are brilliant, and they come from families with more than one smart kid.
You know, I took second place in my big spelling bee.
Really? Mm-hmm.
Would've won that thing, too, if it hadn't been for politics.
There's always politics in kids' competition.
No, it was the word "politics.
" I spelled it p-o-l-I-t-I-c-k-s.
So you got it right.
Zack, we're busy.
This better be an emergency.
It is.
I need money for the game room.
That's your emergency? Glad you understand.
Forget it! I've told you over and over, if you can't afford something, you either wait, or you save for it.
Don't tell him that.
Last time he needed money, he tried to sell my blood.
Lucky I'm a light sleeper.
Come on, mom.
Think of all those coins just sitting in your purse doing nothing.
They could be down in the game room having fun right now.
Forget it.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be.
William Shakespeare.
I just need a couple of bucks.
Zack Martin.
Here I am in your life here you are in mine yes, we have a suite life most of the time you and me, we got the world to see so come on down just me and you know what to do so come on down it's you and me and me and you we got the whole place to ourselves you and me, we got it all for free so come on down this is the suite life we've got a suite life The tipton is proud to welcome you to Boston's 2-day championship spelling bee.
Now, have fun and bee-have.
You know, last year's winner got that joke.
Why are you dressed like that? Because it makes me look gooooood! Remember, our school volunteered to help fix up apartments? So I hope it looks gooooood splattered with paint.
What does that have to do with me? [Sighs.]
Sister Dominick is gonna be here any minute in the bus, and you need to be in it.
A busLike public people use? Just think of it as a long, yellow limo.
I cannot be seen on a bus.
Are the windows tinted? Yes.
With gum and dead flies.
Now, come on! [Electronic lasers firing.]
Take that, you dirty alien! [Lasers fizzle.]
No fair! I got you right in the eye stalk.
Excuse me, but how would you like to finance a space pioneer's voyage to defend the earth from alien scum? You wanna borrow money? That's another way to put it.
I'll take it.
I'll pay you back later.
I'm sure you will Or else.
Don't worry, you won't have to "or else" me.
It's only a buck.
Nooooooooo! You owe me 30 bucks.
How'd that happen? You stink at this game.
I expect my money by this afternoon, plus 20%.
Say, why don't you give me your address, and I'll mail it to you.
Mail it to me? Do I look like a big, dumb idiot? From here, you just look big.
Hey, princess It's heir-ess.
Whatever, heir-ess.
The rest of us are bustin' our humps painting.
I'm painting, too.
Fingers don't count.
You're right.
I'll do my toes.
[Cell phone rings.]
I Hey, London, part of the idea of volunteer work is for the volunteers to actually do the work.
And you are doing a very fine job.
London can't talk right now.
She's working.
I know! We can't believe it, either! Maddie! Gabbing on your phone while everyone else is working! You should be working as hard as London.
But, sister, London-- forgive her, sister Dominick.
Not everyone feels the pain of others like I do.
Oh, you're going to feel a pain! I'm going to check the volunteers.
Madeleine, when I get back, you better not be lollygagging! I can't believe we do all the work and you get all the credit.
We all do what we do best.
You do everything the best, London.
Can I name my cat after you? Is it a purebred? No.
No.
London, if you don't want to paint, could you at least put down some more newspaper? Hey, portia Tannenbaum's picture's in the paper! Look at.
I can't believe portia got in the paper for doing charity work.
I mean, I would do some charity work, too, if I wasn't stuck here doing this.
This is charity work.
Well, then, I should be in the paper, too.
Wait! Maybe I am.
London, no! Don't! Aah! Aah! Could you hold still? You're blocking my light.
Madeleine, this is not playtime! Get down immediately.
Whoa! [Thud.]
Fast enough? Well, now you've dented the floor.
You're going to have to work through lunch.
Not you, dear.
Why don't you take a break? Oh, well If you insist.
I'm not supposed to show favoritism, but you da man, Cody.
Thanks.
I've already cleared a place above my bed for my trophy, so I hope I win.
Otherwise there will be this big, empty space there, mocking me for the rest of my life.
Way to be confident.
You'll do just fine.
Unless, of course, you choke, like I did.
Way to give a pep talk.
Hey, guys.
Oh, hey, Zack.
How nice of you to be here to support Cody.
What? Oh, yeah.
Sure.
That's why I'm here.
Listen, if you happen to see a really huge kid who looks like he can eat me, tell him-- hello, Zack.
That I love him.
I'm crazy about you, too.
Let's talk.
Gee, love to, but I have to stay here and help Cody.
No, you don't, honey.
That's ok.
You and your little friend go have fun.
Nice to meet you, ma'am.
Come here.
Where's my money? I gotta get onstage for the spelling bee.
I thought only nerds were into spelling bees.
Do not make fun of spelling bees.
I would never do that.
Spelling bees are Cool? You better pay me, or else.
Or else what? Do I need to spell it out for you? Save the spelling for the bee, ya big winner.
By the way, my money's on you.
What? I mean Your money's on you.
I'm ready to work now.
Be still, my heart.
Someone should get a picture of this.
London! London! London! London! Smile! Smile! Here! I spoke too soon.
Gee, London, I wonder how they found out about your charity work.
Well, I have no idea.
Oh, hey, tom.
Mark, does this shot work for you? "Psoriasis.
" P-s-o-r-I-a-s-I-s.
Psoriasis.
[Ding.]
That is correct.
Whoo! Cody rules! Ma'am? I'm sorry.
I got a little carried away there.
Barbara Your word is "fracas.
" Could you repeat the word, please? "Fracas.
" Country of origin? France.
Definition.
"A disorderly disturbance or fight.
" Could you use the word in a sentence? If you don't spell this word soon, there will be a fracas.
"Fracas.
" F-r-a-k-I-s.
Fracas.
[Buzzer.]
Ooh, so close.
F-r-a-c-I-s.
[Buzzer.]
[Buzzer.]
C-e-s.
I-s.
[Buzzer.]
[Buzzer.]
U-s! "U-s" done! Now get off the stage.
Yes! Uh, and that concludes today's competition.
The 2 finalists going into tomorrow's round are Cody Martin.
Whoo-hoo! Ahem.
And maynard kaye.
Oh! That's my boy! Yes, indeed.
Carey? Yes.
The have been complaints about offensive behavior by some parents in the audience.
I'm not surprised.
Some of these people get way too caught up in these competitions.
All the complaints have been about you.
Who complained? It's politics, I tell ya.
P-o-l-I-t-I-c-s-- politics.
Get over it.
Look, the next time Cody gets a word right, try not to start the wave.
I'm not a child, Mr.
moseby.
I will control myself.
Cody! Ha ha ha! That's my boy! Hey, I've got good news.
There's another way for you to pay off your debt.
You want to be best friends forever? No.
Convince your brother to lose to me on purpose, and we're even.
And if I don't? I know, I know.
Or else.
Right.
Oh! Feelin' the pressure, huh? A little.
I'm so close to winning, but I'm so close to losing.
Don't worry.
Your big brother has a way to get rid of all your stress.
Really? What should I do? Lose.
Don't think so.
Hear me out.
If you make up your mind right now to lose, then the pressure's off.
Even for you, that's a stupid idea.
It's a great idea.
It's my motto.
"Aim low and avoid disappointment.
" I thought your motto was "sleep and eat.
" No, that's my other motto, and it's not as easy as it seems.
Sometimes you eat too much and you can't sleep.
Sometimes you sleep too much and you miss a meal.
It's Wow.
Your life is a real delicate balance.
You have no idea.
Trust me.
You're gonna be a lot happier if you lose this bee.
Why? Because I borrowed money from maynard kaye, and he's gonna pummel me into pudding! I like pudding.
Get the money from somebody else.
I've already borrowed from everyone in the hotel.
You're the only one I can turn to.
Well, forget it.
I already gave you all of my money, not to mention half a pint of ab negative.
Forget the money.
Forget the blood.
Maynard will only call off the debt if I get you to throw the spelling bee.
Zack, this spelling bee is important to me! It's a chance for people to stop calling me a loser.
Who calls you a loser? You do! Look, buddy, there will be other spelling bees, but you only have one brother.
Mom's still young.
She can have more.
Fine.
This is my last will and testament.
"I, Zack Martin "Leave all my unopened textbooks "to my dear Beloved, wonderful Brother, Cody.
" Sad, isn't it? Sure is.
You spelled "textbooks" wrong.
Pff! Hey, maddie, can I-- no.
You haven't even heard what I had to say.
Just sounded like your "can I" borrow money voice.
[English accent.]
'Ello, maddie! No.
Norman, my main man! No.
Mr.
moseby, my other main man.
No.
How are you supposed to pay people back if they don't lend you any money? Maddie! Huh? Why are you so tired? Oh, I don't know.
Could it be because I worked all day yesterday fixing up that apartment? Well, I held up a paintbrush And smiled.
You don't hear me kvetching.
Oh, goody! There's the paper! "The delightful London tipton "would rather help out a needy family than go shopping with her wealthy friends.
" That'll show portia.
Which has nothing to do with being charitable.
Charity requires sacrifice.
Hey, I gave up a whole day of shopping to pose for these pictures.
Oh, you're a Saint.
Nice picture, London.
I think the work you were doing on the behalf of the poor and needy is reallyNeeded.
And speaking of need, I really need $36.
Ok.
I was gonna throw these bills out anyway.
They're all wrinkly.
Thanks, London.
This money is going to save my life.
Thank you.
Thank you.
But You only left me with a buck.
The buck you owe me.
Now, I know you love Cody, but try to control yourself.
You won't hear a peep out of me.
Maynard? Your word is "pneumatic.
" Pneumatic-- uh Pneumatic You can do it, maynard! Just trying to be a good sport.
Pneumatic [Feedback.]
Pneumatic-- p-n-u-m-a-t-I-c.
Pneumatic? [Buzzer.]
So close.
But close only counts in horseshoes.
Now, if Cody spells it correctly, then he will be Boston's next spelling bee champion.
Him Me Zack, what are you doing? UhUm, just so nervous for Cody that I had a twitch.
Oh, don't worry.
He knows this word.
Oh, Zack, your brother will finally stop thinking of himself as a loser.
Who calls him a loser? You do.
Again, the word is "pneumatic.
" Pneumatic Uh Uh "Uh"? There's no "uh" in pneumatic.
What is he doing? He being a good brother.
What? Cody, don't worry about me.
I'll be ok.
Just spell that word right.
[Buzz buzz buzz buzz.]
One more outburst from the Martin family, and Cody will forfeit.
Pneumatic P-n-e-u-m A-t-I-c.
Pneumatic.
[Ding.]
Oh! That's correct! Oh! Cody Martin, you are Boston's new spelling bee champion! Yes! Whoo! [Applause and cheering.]
I am so proud of myself for helping that family.
Do you honestly think you helped those people? Of course! I'll bet a picture of their apartment was never in the paper before.
Now they'll be the envy of all their pathetic neighbors.
Excuse me.
We're looking for maddie Fitzpatrick.
Oh, that's me.
How can I help you? Hi.
We live in the apartment you and your friends fixed up, and we just wanted to thank you for all your hard work.
Oh, it was my pleasure.
Right.
Uh Anyway, maddie, we wanted to thank you for the toys you left for the kids.
Toys? What toys? You're welcome.
But how did you find out they were from me? They were supposed to be anonymous.
Well, we noticed the toy oven had "chef maddie" written on it, so Well, we baked you a cake.
So you baked a cake in an oven that uses a light bulb? No, our real oven, which is even more amazing.
Thanks.
You guys want a piece? Psst, maddie.
Why didn't they bake me a cake? Because you really didn't give them anything.
I gave them publicity.
That was for you.
I won, I won I'm not a loser, I'm a winner w-I-n-n-e-r Good job.
Thanks.
If I were you, I'd start running.
No.
I have to face up to this, even if it's gonna cost me my face.
Want to borrow my trophy to defend yourself? No.
He'd just eat it.
I'm goin' to get a first aid kit.
If you're gonna beat me up, can we do this in the park? That way, at least when I fall, it'll be on grass.
Beat you up? Why does everyone assume that I'm violent? You're a building with feet.
Are you trying to make me violent? No, no, no, no.
But if you weren't talking about beating me up, what did you mean when you said "or else"? I meant, either you give me my money, or else I'll tell your mother.
Tell my mother? That was your big "or else"? You're the worst bully in the history of bullies.
I'm not afraid of my mom.
You should be.
Zack, what did you do now? Nothing, mommy.
He borrowed $43.
20 from me in the game room, and he can't pay it back.
Only $30.
It was that stinkin' interest rate.
Zack, didn't I tell you, neither a borrower nor a lender be? Well, I'm halfway there.
I never lend.
Zack, you are in big trouble.
Doesn't it count for something that I didn't let Cody throw the spelling bee like maynard tried to make me do? You did what? Dad, I can explain! I-- don't bother.
You have disgraced the grand tradition of the American spelling bee.
No crossword puzzles for a month, young man.
Can I finish the one I started? No! Now come on! We're meetin' grandma at the beef shack.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Wow.
Hearing what a terrible thing maynard did, kind of makes what I did seem pretty minor.
Doesn't it? Nope.
N-o-p-e.
Nope! O-w! O-w! O-w! O-w! O-w! [Knock on door.]
Who is it? Can't say, but I've got gifts! Don't worry about the mask.
Now, I'm here to help you.
Oh, but it's a secret, and you can't tell anyone.
And it's going to bring me inner joy.
Oh! Boy, it's hot under here.
You know, this is so sweet.
How can we ever thank you? Bake me a cake and bring it to the tipton.
Ask for London.
Who, by the way, is not me.