Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s02e13 Episode Script
Queen of the Shadowkhan
1
Ahh. Finally.
Uncle said this book
could help put an end
to all of this
"demon portal" business.
I hope
uncle is right.
Aah! Oh!
UhhUhhOh!
Shadowkhan!
Uhh!
Let go! Leggo, leggo!
Chan at 12 o'clock.
Grab the ladder.
- We're showing chan the door.
Enforcers: Heave, ho!
Aaah!
Whew. I guess
it's curtains for me.
Uh
Oopsy?
Heh heh. Ha.
Boy: Oh, wow!
Girl: Drew got a tattoo?!
Yeah, been thinkin' I
might get one of those.
Oh, yeah, sure, Jade.
Like your dig-in-the-dirt-
with-tiny-brushes
uncle Jackie would ever
let you get a tattoo.
He would
so let me, drew!
By tomorrow, I'm gonna
have the gnarliest tattoo
in the history ofGnarl!
Uncle: The archive
à of demon magic
is an encyclopedia
of spells,
written by the demon
sorcerers themselves.
But it may hold clues
which will help defeat
the demons who created it.
Both of you, clear room
for my new research project.
Both: Yes, uncle.
(Humming)
Hey, Jackie,
how was your trip?
Have you lost weight?
Can I get a tattoo?
Ha, my trip was--
a tattoo?!
Please, Jackie?
All the kids
at school are--
no.
But--
no.
But--
no.
But--
no tattoos
for Jade. Period.
Aw!
(Sighs) Drew was right.
What am I gonna--
Jade: Whoa.
My tattoo doesn't
have to be real.
It just has to be gnarly.
A little ink
A little water
A little squeeze
And I'm bad to the bone.
I will put up
with a lot, shendu,
but I draw the line
at wearing a dress!
Shendu:
This is a sorcerer's robe!
Finn: Whoa!
Shendu-dette.
Pretty dress.
Very becoming.
Grr! Where is my archive?!
Uh, chan's got it?
But it wasn't
our fault!
Yeah, that's right.
The shadowkhan
were there, too.
The shadowkhan
are my puppets.
They do only
what I command.
Are you suggesting
this is my fault?
Uh-uh.
Then redeem yourselves.
No doubt
- chan has brought my book
to his uncle's shop.
Oh, but every time
we go there,
we get our butts kicked.
You have never
been there
With me.
Boy: Wow.
Girl: It's even gnarlier
than drew's tattoo.
And I didn't scream once
while they were doing it.
(Scoffs) That
looks about as real
as those magic ninjas
Jade's always talking about.
The ninjas are real,
and so's my tattoo!
Unlike yours.
Hey, where's
your tattoo?
UhWell,
I thought you knew.
They peel right off.
Like this!
Hey, watch it, drew!
Cut it out!
Whoa!
Uh
Told you
it was real.
Come on, off!
Off!
I'm in trouble.
Hey.
Jade
Why are you wearing
snow boots?
Heard it might snow?
It's 72 degrees out.
Avalanche!
Heh. False alarm.
Oh! Jade,
wash this off
right now!
Er, tried that.
What?
It's a real tattoo?
By accident!
How can you get a tattoo
by acci--ohh!
(Uncle gasps)
This is a symbol
of great evil.
We must find a spell
to remove it immediately.
Who knows what catastrophe
such a tattoo will bring?
Hand over the--
yaaaah!
Angry crow takes flight!
Yah!
Uhh!
Mad monkey kung fu!
Mantis boxing style!
Rabbit punch!
Swish!
I got it!
Aah!
Lion stalks its prey!
Run like cheetah,
leap like gazelle!
UhhUhh!
Uh-oh.
Yaaaah!
Black tiger
corners little lamb.
Help!
Anybody!
(Gasps) Shadowkhan.
Oh, no, oh, no
oh, no, oh, no.
Bunny flees
from vicious jackals.
Aaaah!
I'mStill alive?
Weird.
I am telling you
it was the shadowkhan
who did this to me!
Finn: Chan kicked
our butts, too.
Yeah, you don't
hear us lying
about it.
Need I remind you,
the shadowkhan do
only what I command.
Come, minions!
Minions?
Valmont:
It would seem you have
lost your touch, shendu.
Shendu: I have not
lost my touch!
Chan is obviously
using the power
of my archive
against me!
I don't care
how you do it,
but get my book!
Jackie: Jade?
Jade?!
Wake up,
you're going
to be late.
I am going
to uncle's
to help him find
a tattoo-removing
spell,
so I will see you
there after school.
(Yawns) Mmm.
Jackie: Oh,
and don't forget
to eat breakfast.
(Scoffs) I wish
I had time for breakfast.
Aah!
Breakfast?
The tattoo.
That's what happened
last night!
I called for help
and you guys came!
Jade: Tres chique.
Mmm.
Now this has to be
our little secret.
If Jackie won't
let me have a tattoo,
there's no way
he'd let me have
my own ninjas.
Oh, forgot my wallet.
Are you ready for--
under control.
Why are you
wearing black?
I'm in a dark mood.
Jade: Get ready, guys.
Time to prove
my magic ninjas
are for real.
Ha ha! Oh, yeah?
Being dumb enough to get
a real tattoo is one thing,
but ninjas? Come on!
Ha ha ha!
(Kids laugh)
Let me show you.
Heh heh.
Later, ninja girl.
Ohh.
Finn to ratso:
I'm in position.
Uncle: Too busy!
Come back later!
But I am a wealthy
art collector.
Welcome to
uncle's rare finds.
Were you looking
for something
in particular?
Oh, just some
priceless artifacts
for the many,
many museums I own.
Jackie! Tohru!
Uncle: Bring tea!
Uncle: This one dates back
to the han dynasty.
It is a very good
piece.
Uh, I'll let you know.
You are both
very bad salesmen!
Having ninja tutors
is gonna make homework
way more fun!
Can you believe
they bought
my disguise?
Ho ho ho!
What a plan.
We're geniuses!
They're here.
Give 'em a spanking.
You were too slow
with the tea.
Good salesmen
must always--
wha--wha--wha--
where is the archive?!
Uhh!
Jade! Jade!
It's ok.
He's one of us.
Jade: See, Jackie?
Total control.
They do what I tell 'em,
and I only tell 'em
to do good.
So can I keep 'em?
Jackie: No, Jade.
Aw, why not?
Because
- you're turning blue.
Blue's my favorite color.
Besides,
we gave tohru a chance.
Tohru is human.
Now I want you
to make them go away
until uncle
can find a--
hot chaaaa!
I have found a potion
that will make
Jade's tattoo vanish.
But I like my tattoo.
You can't do this to me.
Jackie:
It's for your own
safety, Jade.
Now sit still
while I apply the potion.
Ohh!
Jade: Do not touch me!
I am and shall remain
queen of the shadowkhan.
Jade!
IUh
You're grounded!
(Scoffs) You're not giving
me orders anymore.
I must find her.
I will take
the potion.
Run a background check
and--whoa!
Jade, you--
what happened to you?
I've become queen
(Gasps)
And every queen
needs a palace.
Jade!
Jaaade!
Jade?
Black.
Jade's gone ninja.
And they've taken
section 13.
Jade: FoSheeKwong
ShooWee--
grr! How can I know
the secrets of the archive
if I can't understand
a single,
stupid word of it?!
Bring me someone who can.
Shendu: So are
you telling me
I still don't
have my book back,
and the child
controls my minions?!
Valmont:
What? Aah! Help!
Shendu: No.
This could work
to my advantage.
Valmont: (Gasps)
We're in section 13.
The talismans!
Shendu: Quiet, you fool!
Take the talismans
if you desire them.
I am interested
in far greater powers.
Valmont: Smashing!
I'll just--uhh!
Shendu:
I require no talismans,
your majesty.
I only wish
to pay my respects.
Ow!
UhUh
(Gasps)
Jade: Now read me
a story, demon.
Forgive me,
your highness.
I could easily translate
this entire volume for you,
but true power does
not reside in textbooks.
I could teach you,
dark queen.
And why should
I trust you?
Beware!
Oh! Uhh! I--oh!
You!
Do you
trust me now?
Take the potion from him!
Ooh
Gaaa!
Oh!
HaaUhh
Ooof!
Your skill far exceeds
your years, majesty.
Uhh!
Oh. Bwooo!
(Gasps)
No!
Hear this, my queen:
Your first
and most valuable
lesson:
Always destroy
your enemies.
Don't listen
to him, Jade.
He's a demon.
I'm your uncle,
your friend!
(Scoffs) You were.
But things
are different now.
I have new friends.
Oh? If shendu
is your friend,
why is he stealing
your book?
Hiss! Traitor!
After him!
Nooo!
No!
Destroy chan!
No, destroy
The book!
Nooo!
Ohh!
Hyaaaaah!
Uhh!
Ooof!
Valmont: You could've
at least let me grab
the talismans, shendu.
Very important
rule of magic.
Always make extra.
Just in case.
OhhI have
a weird feeling
I did something bad.
If you mean
getting a tattoo
when I told you
not to,
yes, you did.
But if you mean
destroying
the demon archive
We can live with that.
Hey, Jackie, what kinds
of books do you like to read?
I like mystery,
comedy, everything.
All can helping me
for the location scout.
Different pictures, wow.
I like good magazines
and education magazines.
I can really learn
a lot of things.
It really helps me.
Ahh. Finally.
Uncle said this book
could help put an end
to all of this
"demon portal" business.
I hope
uncle is right.
Aah! Oh!
UhhUhhOh!
Shadowkhan!
Uhh!
Let go! Leggo, leggo!
Chan at 12 o'clock.
Grab the ladder.
- We're showing chan the door.
Enforcers: Heave, ho!
Aaah!
Whew. I guess
it's curtains for me.
Uh
Oopsy?
Heh heh. Ha.
Boy: Oh, wow!
Girl: Drew got a tattoo?!
Yeah, been thinkin' I
might get one of those.
Oh, yeah, sure, Jade.
Like your dig-in-the-dirt-
with-tiny-brushes
uncle Jackie would ever
let you get a tattoo.
He would
so let me, drew!
By tomorrow, I'm gonna
have the gnarliest tattoo
in the history ofGnarl!
Uncle: The archive
à of demon magic
is an encyclopedia
of spells,
written by the demon
sorcerers themselves.
But it may hold clues
which will help defeat
the demons who created it.
Both of you, clear room
for my new research project.
Both: Yes, uncle.
(Humming)
Hey, Jackie,
how was your trip?
Have you lost weight?
Can I get a tattoo?
Ha, my trip was--
a tattoo?!
Please, Jackie?
All the kids
at school are--
no.
But--
no.
But--
no.
But--
no tattoos
for Jade. Period.
Aw!
(Sighs) Drew was right.
What am I gonna--
Jade: Whoa.
My tattoo doesn't
have to be real.
It just has to be gnarly.
A little ink
A little water
A little squeeze
And I'm bad to the bone.
I will put up
with a lot, shendu,
but I draw the line
at wearing a dress!
Shendu:
This is a sorcerer's robe!
Finn: Whoa!
Shendu-dette.
Pretty dress.
Very becoming.
Grr! Where is my archive?!
Uh, chan's got it?
But it wasn't
our fault!
Yeah, that's right.
The shadowkhan
were there, too.
The shadowkhan
are my puppets.
They do only
what I command.
Are you suggesting
this is my fault?
Uh-uh.
Then redeem yourselves.
No doubt
- chan has brought my book
to his uncle's shop.
Oh, but every time
we go there,
we get our butts kicked.
You have never
been there
With me.
Boy: Wow.
Girl: It's even gnarlier
than drew's tattoo.
And I didn't scream once
while they were doing it.
(Scoffs) That
looks about as real
as those magic ninjas
Jade's always talking about.
The ninjas are real,
and so's my tattoo!
Unlike yours.
Hey, where's
your tattoo?
UhWell,
I thought you knew.
They peel right off.
Like this!
Hey, watch it, drew!
Cut it out!
Whoa!
Uh
Told you
it was real.
Come on, off!
Off!
I'm in trouble.
Hey.
Jade
Why are you wearing
snow boots?
Heard it might snow?
It's 72 degrees out.
Avalanche!
Heh. False alarm.
Oh! Jade,
wash this off
right now!
Er, tried that.
What?
It's a real tattoo?
By accident!
How can you get a tattoo
by acci--ohh!
(Uncle gasps)
This is a symbol
of great evil.
We must find a spell
to remove it immediately.
Who knows what catastrophe
such a tattoo will bring?
Hand over the--
yaaaah!
Angry crow takes flight!
Yah!
Uhh!
Mad monkey kung fu!
Mantis boxing style!
Rabbit punch!
Swish!
I got it!
Aah!
Lion stalks its prey!
Run like cheetah,
leap like gazelle!
UhhUhh!
Uh-oh.
Yaaaah!
Black tiger
corners little lamb.
Help!
Anybody!
(Gasps) Shadowkhan.
Oh, no, oh, no
oh, no, oh, no.
Bunny flees
from vicious jackals.
Aaaah!
I'mStill alive?
Weird.
I am telling you
it was the shadowkhan
who did this to me!
Finn: Chan kicked
our butts, too.
Yeah, you don't
hear us lying
about it.
Need I remind you,
the shadowkhan do
only what I command.
Come, minions!
Minions?
Valmont:
It would seem you have
lost your touch, shendu.
Shendu: I have not
lost my touch!
Chan is obviously
using the power
of my archive
against me!
I don't care
how you do it,
but get my book!
Jackie: Jade?
Jade?!
Wake up,
you're going
to be late.
I am going
to uncle's
to help him find
a tattoo-removing
spell,
so I will see you
there after school.
(Yawns) Mmm.
Jackie: Oh,
and don't forget
to eat breakfast.
(Scoffs) I wish
I had time for breakfast.
Aah!
Breakfast?
The tattoo.
That's what happened
last night!
I called for help
and you guys came!
Jade: Tres chique.
Mmm.
Now this has to be
our little secret.
If Jackie won't
let me have a tattoo,
there's no way
he'd let me have
my own ninjas.
Oh, forgot my wallet.
Are you ready for--
under control.
Why are you
wearing black?
I'm in a dark mood.
Jade: Get ready, guys.
Time to prove
my magic ninjas
are for real.
Ha ha! Oh, yeah?
Being dumb enough to get
a real tattoo is one thing,
but ninjas? Come on!
Ha ha ha!
(Kids laugh)
Let me show you.
Heh heh.
Later, ninja girl.
Ohh.
Finn to ratso:
I'm in position.
Uncle: Too busy!
Come back later!
But I am a wealthy
art collector.
Welcome to
uncle's rare finds.
Were you looking
for something
in particular?
Oh, just some
priceless artifacts
for the many,
many museums I own.
Jackie! Tohru!
Uncle: Bring tea!
Uncle: This one dates back
to the han dynasty.
It is a very good
piece.
Uh, I'll let you know.
You are both
very bad salesmen!
Having ninja tutors
is gonna make homework
way more fun!
Can you believe
they bought
my disguise?
Ho ho ho!
What a plan.
We're geniuses!
They're here.
Give 'em a spanking.
You were too slow
with the tea.
Good salesmen
must always--
wha--wha--wha--
where is the archive?!
Uhh!
Jade! Jade!
It's ok.
He's one of us.
Jade: See, Jackie?
Total control.
They do what I tell 'em,
and I only tell 'em
to do good.
So can I keep 'em?
Jackie: No, Jade.
Aw, why not?
Because
- you're turning blue.
Blue's my favorite color.
Besides,
we gave tohru a chance.
Tohru is human.
Now I want you
to make them go away
until uncle
can find a--
hot chaaaa!
I have found a potion
that will make
Jade's tattoo vanish.
But I like my tattoo.
You can't do this to me.
Jackie:
It's for your own
safety, Jade.
Now sit still
while I apply the potion.
Ohh!
Jade: Do not touch me!
I am and shall remain
queen of the shadowkhan.
Jade!
IUh
You're grounded!
(Scoffs) You're not giving
me orders anymore.
I must find her.
I will take
the potion.
Run a background check
and--whoa!
Jade, you--
what happened to you?
I've become queen
(Gasps)
And every queen
needs a palace.
Jade!
Jaaade!
Jade?
Black.
Jade's gone ninja.
And they've taken
section 13.
Jade: FoSheeKwong
ShooWee--
grr! How can I know
the secrets of the archive
if I can't understand
a single,
stupid word of it?!
Bring me someone who can.
Shendu: So are
you telling me
I still don't
have my book back,
and the child
controls my minions?!
Valmont:
What? Aah! Help!
Shendu: No.
This could work
to my advantage.
Valmont: (Gasps)
We're in section 13.
The talismans!
Shendu: Quiet, you fool!
Take the talismans
if you desire them.
I am interested
in far greater powers.
Valmont: Smashing!
I'll just--uhh!
Shendu:
I require no talismans,
your majesty.
I only wish
to pay my respects.
Ow!
UhUh
(Gasps)
Jade: Now read me
a story, demon.
Forgive me,
your highness.
I could easily translate
this entire volume for you,
but true power does
not reside in textbooks.
I could teach you,
dark queen.
And why should
I trust you?
Beware!
Oh! Uhh! I--oh!
You!
Do you
trust me now?
Take the potion from him!
Ooh
Gaaa!
Oh!
HaaUhh
Ooof!
Your skill far exceeds
your years, majesty.
Uhh!
Oh. Bwooo!
(Gasps)
No!
Hear this, my queen:
Your first
and most valuable
lesson:
Always destroy
your enemies.
Don't listen
to him, Jade.
He's a demon.
I'm your uncle,
your friend!
(Scoffs) You were.
But things
are different now.
I have new friends.
Oh? If shendu
is your friend,
why is he stealing
your book?
Hiss! Traitor!
After him!
Nooo!
No!
Destroy chan!
No, destroy
The book!
Nooo!
Ohh!
Hyaaaaah!
Uhh!
Ooof!
Valmont: You could've
at least let me grab
the talismans, shendu.
Very important
rule of magic.
Always make extra.
Just in case.
OhhI have
a weird feeling
I did something bad.
If you mean
getting a tattoo
when I told you
not to,
yes, you did.
But if you mean
destroying
the demon archive
We can live with that.
Hey, Jackie, what kinds
of books do you like to read?
I like mystery,
comedy, everything.
All can helping me
for the location scout.
Different pictures, wow.
I like good magazines
and education magazines.
I can really learn
a lot of things.
It really helps me.