St. Denis Medical (2024) s02e13 Episode Script

1
Next, please.
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
Hello, I am Leo.
Val.
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
This is nice hospital.
It's not. What's your emergency?
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
Please talk to phone.
What is your emergency?
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
Oh.
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
Thank you for asking, Val.
I have knife in back.
[GASPS] I got a level 1, stab wound!
I need a gurney and an IV!
You're gonna be okay, sir. Go with them.
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
Yep, OK.
Thank you for the assistance
with the knife, Val.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Yeah, just, like, every couple months
- the knee gets kind of wonky.
- Uh-huh.
Let me guess, right around
the time she asked you
- to clean the garage, huh?
- [IMITATES BUZZER]
- Ha!
- Exactly.
You nailed us.
Tim's knee's been acting up.
Old sports injury.
I played football in high school.
Tore my ACL doing the moonwalk
at a pep rally.
They don't need to know
how it happened, baby.
Bruce is doing us a big favor,
fitting Tim in,
so we're just gonna, you know,
be on our best behavior,
laugh at his jokes, and let him
brag, just be really polite.
Doesn't seem too hard.
Well, you don't know Bruce.
Medical scholarships are
a lot rarer than college ones,
but hey, I guess they wanted me.
- [CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]
- Impressive.
Mm-hmm.
So you're, like, an arborist
or something, right?
Oh, God, no.
Those people are so pretentious.
Please don't with the arborists.
- Really?
- Yeah, massive egos.
They think they know everything.
Ugh. I hate people like that.
No, I grow grass.
Oh, yeah? Does it need help?
I see it everywhere. [LAUGHTER]
Oh, I'm sure there's an art to it.
All right, I'm gonna
leave you guys to it.
- Bruce, thank you so much.
- Of course.
- I'll see you at lunch, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
Don't worry, Al.
When we're done with this
knee, it'll be shmoney.
Um, okay.
- Yeah.
- Is shmoney like money?
Exactly. Yeah.
Tim, exactly.
[CHUCKLING]
The doctor will check your ankle,
but your heart rate's up.
Are you all right, man?
I'm feeling so much right now.
Uh-huh.
Did you take anything today?
Yes, some mushroom chocolate.
And everything just feels so [SIGHS]
- You know?
- Mm-hmm, I do know.
Closing my eyes does nothing.
I can still see everything
through my eyelids.
How much did you take exactly?
Uh, like, a little less than a bar.
A whole bar?
Dude, you're only supposed
to eat, like, zero.
You're not supposed to do drugs.
- Huh.
- I'll be right back.
Hey, is pharmacy still
doing drug disposals or
Code Blue, I need some help in here!
Coming!
Code Blue, Code Blue,
Code Blue, Code Blue.
Hey!
Gotta be careful.
Don't wanna spill on my new shoes.
Whoa-ho! Those are sharp.
- Mr. GQ.
- Thank you!
- They are Lorenzo Albini.
- Fancy.
My dad bought a pair
of those when he went
- through his midlife crisis.
- Smart man.
Look at that leather!
Boy, those cows live
a better life than we do,
except for the last two minutes.
- Right.
- Mm-hmm!
Ain't nothing finer
than a well-dressed man.
Thank you, Doreen.
I can't wear the leather. [CHUCKLES]
Mm-mm, make my feet stink like
something dead and wet.
Just nasty.
Yeah, I usually don't splurge,
but I could not say no to these.
They're nice.
They squeak, though.
- What's that?
- Your shoes.
They squeak a little when you walk.
Oh, please. They do not squeak.
[SHOES SQUEAKING]
Well, they squeak a little bit.
They're new.
They will be broken in by lunch.
[SHOES SQUEAKING]
Excuse me.
Yeah, my feet need the mesh.
My toes need to breathe.
Stop talking about your feet.
Welcome, by the way. I'm Brandon.
Hey, Matt.
Mind if I sit here till Tim comes?
Oh, yeah. Just waiting for Bruce.
- Double date.
- [LAUGHS] Okay.
What are you reading?
Oh, it's F.
- Is that an encyclopedia?
- Yeah.
Factory and facula were kind of slogs,
but so far, Fairfield, Iowa,
has been pretty riveting.
Why are you doing that?
Oh, Bruce and Chaplain Steve
are doing a trivia night,
and they need a third,
so I'm trying to bone up.
But let's be honest,
I'm no Michael Faraday.
That's the English scientist
who pioneered
work in electromagnetism.
But Bruce says if they don't
find anyone smart in time,
they might have to use me.
- Well, I hope they don't.
- Thanks, Alex.
- Sure, yeah.
- That's really nice.
Okay.
Oh, what have we here?
Alex, you temptress.
No, no, I don't need this.
I'm off of sugar.
Back on the market, keeping it tight.
Self-discipline.
Stay strong, boss.
But I have been stressed,
you know, all this drama
with the birthing center.
I deserve a little treat.
That you do.
Heavy is the crown.
No, I don't need it.
I'll take it.
No, it's mine.
It's earthy.
"Mystic Journey," wow.
Whatever happened to
just plain old Hershey's?
- They still sell it.
- Yeah, I know, Keith.
Well
[SHOES SQUEAKING]
I hear you, Ron.
What you hear, Val, are the finest
Italian materials adapting
to the exact contour
- of my foot.
- Oh.
I guess in Italy, they love
loud, annoying [BLEEP].
I know what you're doing.
You're bored, and you're gonna
make this all about
the day Ron's shoes squeaked.
Pretty sure they're
gonna squeak every day.
I am breaking them in.
[SHOES SQUEAKING]
Uh, I left some chocolate here.
Oh, yes.
[CHUCKLES] Did I do that? Urkel.
Uh, yeah, but
Don't worry, Beanie Baby.
I'll buy you another one.
No, um, it's just
What, it is artisanal?
I think I can afford it.
Okay, um, I'm gonna tell you
something that is totally fine
but sounds really bad.
You just ate shroom chocolate, Joyce.
What, like psilocybin?
I put it down to help a coding patient.
It was just for a second.
Come on.
Relax.
Listen, let me tell you something.
Back in the '90s, I visited a
place called Amsterdam, Europe.
Have you heard of it?
I ate an entire hash cookie by myself.
And guess what happened.
It was awesome?
I felt nothing, okay?
No harm, no foul.
It'll be fine.
- Joyce.
- What?
What do you want me to do, go home?
No. You shouldn't be alone.
Why don't you lie down?
Just take it easy.
I have so many matters to attend to.
"Family Matters," Urkel.
[LAUGHS] I'm kidding.
But no, look, it's gonna be fine.
Okay.
If you say so.
I can't believe you have a katana.
Literally my weapon of choice.
- Mine too.
- Yeah.
I mean, not in real life,
but in the game "Elden Ring."
- Oh.
- Yeah, this feels way scarier.
Yeah, well, you know what?
You could slice through
one of your blades of grass
- with this beauty.
- Well, Bermuda, maybe.
I'd like to see it up
against a fine fescue, though.
- [LAUGHTER]
- Hey, sweetie.
You okay? Did you get my text?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah, we just got a little caught up.
Alex, you never told me you were married
to such a fun, laid-back dude.
Oh, yeah.
I guess you got a kind
of yin-yang thing going on.
- Oh, this guy.
- It's fun.
Hey, Bruce, I don't know
if we're still on for lunch,
but I texted you a picture
of the specials just in case.
Ah, you didn't have to do that.
No, Cobb salad, extra chicken,
no bacon, extra avocado.
And look, if they don't
have it, all good.
- Just get it somewhere else.
- On it.
- Thanks.
- No problem.
So Tim has an MRI in an hour.
Great.
I still have a few minutes
if you wanna go
- Let's do it.
- Okay. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, hey, I was thinking,
should I grab your number?
I was just gonna say that.
You guys, I can pass along any updates.
- You don't have to
- Well, no, just to have it for
Yeah. Dude, we gotta bump it.
- Oh, I love doing that.
- Oh.
- It's like ET's finger.
- I was gonna say.
[IMITATING ET] ET, bump phone.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Okay, that's hilarious.
- [CHUCKLES]
- That is absolutely hilarious.
That went great.
You had me worried, but
he's actually not that bad.
- He's kind of funny.
- Okay.
And you could hear all the stuff
he was saying and everything? Like
I know he gets on your nerves.
But you always said he's
basically harmless, so
Well, sure, you know.
If you have to call someone harmless,
though, it's like hey, guys.
I might actually
give him a call, though,
grab a beer or something
unless you don't want me to.
Oh, yeah. Can you imagine?
- Delete his number.
- [LAUGHS]
- No, that'll be your decision.
- Great.
Thanks, honey.
Thanks for setting this up.
Yeah. Oh.
Can't wait for my knee
to feel shmoney again.
Oh.
[LAUGHTER]
Hey, Joyce.
Are you feeling okay?
Serena, I'm fine.
I told you, these things
don't affect me.
It's the Henderson gut.
We're a very acidic people.
Well, okay. Just checking. [CHUCKLES]
Huh.
When did we get that?
Stunning.
Uh, the fire extinguisher?
Look at that red.
Pow!
That's a to-mah-to red.
Mm, I see you.
[CHUCKLES] Gorgeous.
Wow.
[STILTED] Hi, Keith.
Nice to see you.
Oh. Hey, Ron.
Nice to see you too.
Hey, got any big weekend plans or
I'm busy now, Keith.
Hey, just wanted to say thanks again
for taking a look at Tim.
Oh, come on salt of the earth.
Yeah.
And listen, you're already
doing us a favor,
so don't feel like you have to
call him if you don't want to,
or answer his call.
What? No, he's great.
Oh, uh, yeah, Dr. Sadorra's info.
He can set up a sleep study if you want.
- A sleep study?
- For your whole snoring thing.
Tim told you about that?
Uh, yeah, it came up.
- How?
- Ooh.
Well, we were talking Trail Blazers,
and then I don't know.
[CHUCKLES] Who cares?
That big lug loves you
in spite of it all, hmm.
Oh, hey, has Tim seen that meme
where Shaq is excited, you know?
Yeah, yeah, he's seen it. You know what?
It's actually
it's so interesting that
you guys are vibing so much.
Hmm? How so?
Well, you know, you are,
like, this cool,
you know, athlete type.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah.
And Tim is just a big old dork.
- [CHUCKLES]
- A dork?
What do you mean? What's he into?
Oh, you know, sci-fi,
fantasy, really boring history.
He read a whole book
about space fighters.
So bugs too, huh?
He, like, memorizes species names.
I mean, just a big, pale,
shivering nerd
the love of my life, the best.
Hmm, that is interesting.
- Huh. Thanks for telling me.
- Sure.
Luckily, it wasn't broken,
just a nasty sprain.
So you will want to ice,
compress, and elevate,
and then you [SHOES SQUEAK]
I'm sorry. Those are my shoes.
Was it?
Kind of sounded like a fart.
These are new shoes.
They've been squeaking all day.
First I'm hearing of this.
Val, listen,
I can make them do it again.
I just [SHOES RUBBING FLOOR]
Oh, hold on.
It was the shoes.
Are you sure? It stinks in here.
It does not.
What? Oh!
[COUGHS] Oh, gee, boy.
[SIGHS]
I did not fart!
The squeak was Ron's shoes.
The smell was me.
I've always got one in the chamber.
Just keep signing.
- It's a good thing to focus on.
- Hmm.
I'll be close if you need anything.
Pens.
[SIGHS] Oh, my God, I know.
Aren't they amazing? [CHUCKLES]
Oh, oh, Holly, wait.
Your hair is so gorgeous.
And I always wanted to tell
you that, but I never do.
Why?
- Oh, my gosh, thanks.
- It's just so alive.
- [CHUCKLING]
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Holly, keep moving.
[GASPS] I could run these through
your hair if you wanted me to.
My my hands are,
like, big, fleshy combs.
What?
Wait, no.
They are combs.
I
That is all a comb is, a decision.
You see?
[LAUGHS] Oh, my God.
Joyce, that's so hilarious.
- Yeah.
- Right, Holly?
- I get it.
- Ah.
- Combs.
- Oh, yes.
Okay, we should get to Zone B.
That feels so correct.
Matt?
You okay, bud?
Well, I know two things for sure:
one, fair use is a legal doctrine
that permits the limited usage
of copyrighted materials
without the copyright holder's
permission,
and two, I am off the trivia team.
Aw, I'm sorry, hon.
Apparently your husband knows all kinds
of dorky trivia stuff.
My
- oh, no.
- Yeah.
Okay.
- I'm sorry, Matt.
- Nah.
- That's
- You should celebrate.
Your husband's on a bar trivia team.
- How many women get to say that?
- Right.
No, I'm psyched for
for Tim, obviously.
It's just, you know,
you worked really hard.
You deserve to be on that team.
Thanks, but there can only be three.
Bruce says the trio is the
most reliable social structure.
Look at porn, he says.
I won't, but I'm sure he's right.
Okay, Matt, we are getting
you on that team, all right?
How?
Well, you know, for you to play,
it seems like Tim's
new friendship with Bruce
would just have to
- I'm leading you somewhere.
- Oh, yeah.
- Their friendship
- Their friendship
- Would have to
- To
Fall
- In love.
- Apart.
- Apart. Fall apart.
- Apart. Better.
- Now we're talking.
- Yeah.
But what are we talking about?
It's okay, leave the
trash cans where they are.
- We still want them here.
- Joyce said to take them.
She said trash doesn't exist.
Everything has value.
I think she was just flirting with you.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
It's been a lot of work
chasing Joyce around
and putting out
her little mushroom fires.
But I think I've contained the damage.
If I can just keep the number of people
she interacts with
to a minimum, I can total
Hello, this is Dr. Joyce Henderson
with a very important announcement
that affects all employees.
- Death is not real.
- [BLEEP].
It is a concept made up by social media.
So this is Jerry.
I think you two are
really gonna get along.
[GASPS] Interesting. What movie is this?
It's the Seattle Aquarium live feed.
Ah.
[GENTLE MUSIC]
- [CHUCKLES]
- Heh.
Very well-written.
- I'm kind of nervous.
- You're gonna be great.
- Should I disguise my voice?
- No.
Douglas Grass Solutions.
[IN SOUTHERN ACCENT]
Well, hello there, little lady!
So Matt is going to call
and place a huge grass order
with Tim's company, one that
makes him drop everything,
including trivia night.
Matt joins the team, Bruce and
Tim's friendship peters out,
and then we call in a couple
days and cancel the order.
No harm, no foul.
Marriage, right?
[LAUGHS]
I'm calling from a very long car,
and I'm looking to buy some
of your finest Kentucky blue
grass, that is.
Okay. How many acres?
Is 500 a lot?
[WHISPERING] Oh, that's
Oh, wow. Yeah, um, hang on.
[WHISPERING] Is the accent too much?
Yes.
World awake, world asleep.
[CHUCKLES]
World awake, world asleep.
Awake, asleep.
- Keep going.
- Awake, asleep.
- King.
- King.
All right, I found the
perfect third for triv night.
Major dweeb, good hang, closes
our gaps in all the best ways.
- Lock it down.
- All right.
Oh, it's gotta be tough on Matty.
Little waving bitch.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
Well, I waved at him first.
You know what I mean.
Right, okay.
All right, got some last rites.
King.
Uh, king. Yeah.
[GRUNTING]
[CAN SPRAYING]
No, I'm not really giving Ron crap
for any particular reason.
He did once point out
that I accidentally
tucked the back of my scrubs
into my underwear,
but I barely remember that.
It was a long time ago.
March 5, 2019, or something.
The failed inspection,
the failed engagement
it felt like me.
It felt like it was a failed me.
But that was so not you.
- So not me.
- Here's something I realized.
Someday, aliens are gonna come down,
and they're gonna ask some
of us to get on their ship.
Absolutely. Go on.
- Right?
- Go on, mm-hmm.
Well, what if they
don't want me on the ship?
What if they don't want me because
- I'm too much of a screw-up?
- Jerry.
No, no, but it's okay.
Because they need that.
They need people that screw up.
That's part of it.
[VOICE BREAKING] Do they need people
who overcomplicate things?
That's one of the main
things that they need.
[SIGHS]
[SNIFFLING]
Hey, babe. I'm so sorry, I gotta go.
I I just got a huge order in.
Wow, really?
Yeah, I'm gonna be slammed for a while.
I already texted Bruce.
There's no way I'm gonna
make trivia tomorrow night.
Oh, gosh.
I really wanted that for you guys.
This guy ordered 500 acres of seed.
That's 10 times bigger than
any order we've ever had.
Oh.
Heh, so 500's a lot, huh?
I guess I forgot how much an acre is.
I feel bad, though, you know?
I'm gonna disappoint a few
clients and make time for this,
- but hey.
- Oh, that's not
- Mm.
- Yeah.
- I gotta make some calls.
- Okay, love you.
Love you.
[IN SOUTHERN ACCENT] Well, I
do declare this plan a success.
[CHUCKLES]
Tim!
Tim!
- 500 acres?
- I know.
Do you not know anything about my job?
I'm sorry. I let Matt pick the number.
And he's from Montana, so
his sense of scale is insane.
I'm sorry. This was dumb.
I just, like
aren't you always telling me
I need more guy friends?
Well, yeah, but there's so many guys.
I mean, what about your college friends?
Ben lives in Atlanta.
Sam's in Tennessee.
Well, you can still together.
You had that fun golf trip.
Yes, that is a very fond
memory from eight years ago.
There's no way that was eight years.
Oh, my God, you right,
because I watched the Harry
and Meghan wedding by myself.
- There were so many hats.
- Babe.
Sorry.
Okay, I will admit,
you need more guy friends,
but does it have to be Bruce?
I mean, you're just you're
so thoughtful and so kind,
- and Bruce is just, like
- Cocky.
Yes.
- Lacking basic self-awareness.
- Yes.
Refers to himself as an apex predator.
I didn't know about that one. Ew, baby.
Yeah, I know. But you know what?
I don't know.
He also likes the show "Hot Ones,"
and I like the show "Hot Ones."
Wait, the buffalo wing show?
Well, I would argue
it's more of a sauce show.
Okay, well
Listen, I mean, look, I'm
not gonna become like Bruce.
He's not gonna invade our lives.
[SIGHS]
We might just grab a beer sometimes.
Okay.
That's completely fair.
But can you not talk to him about, like,
you know, like, my snoring and how
I am really sorry about that.
We were talking Trail Blazers,
and we just got there.
Sure, okay.
Yeah, that happens.
If you're looking for a healthy snack,
you're facing the wrong way.
Oh, my God, not at work.
[CHUCKLES] All right, all right.
I'll see you later, though?
Maybe.
Bring the collar.
[CHUCKLING]
Whoa, what was that?
Oh, nothing.
We just, uh, got a little
something going.
- Shh.
- Oh, really?
Tight, tight, tight.
Oh, snap!
They got pizza Combos?
Uh, yes, please.
[CHUCKLING]
Give me a couple bucks.
Yeah.
Juggling multiple dudes in my
life is getting a bit tricky.
Matt used to have a big
old crush on Serena.
Now Steve's with her, and
Steve's pretty mean to Matt.
So a part of me is almost
like[INHALES SHARPLY]
I'm not sure Matt will love that.
You know what I realized?
I'm not a show-off.
Who cares about Italian
leather and craftsmanship?
Not me.
From now on, I buy all
my shoes from Step and Save.
Trash does not exist.
Everything has value.
[CHUCKLES] She was right.
An appetite means you're coming down.
Are you feeling good?
Serena, I am not exaggerating when I say
that I have never felt better.
For the past few hours,
I've been at peace
with who I am, where I am, why I am,
maybe for the first time in my life.
And I've got a new
best friend. [CHUCKLES]
I just feel like
everything is limitless,
you know?
Just, nothing is impossible.
So we're good?
I'm not in trouble for this whole thing?
Oh, Serenie Beanie,
you worry way too much.
But that's okay, because they
need people who worry too much.
Oh, okay.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, your ship came in, kid.
You're on the team.
- Oh, what? No way.
- Uh-huh.
I'm sorry things didn't
work out with Alex's husband.
Oh, no, Tim's still in.
Steve won't be joining.
Just, uh, you know, a personal thing.
Anyway, practice sesh
tonight at Alex's house.
- Garage.
- Oh, garage, right.
Bathroom's inside, though,
is what I was told.
Yes, our our bathrooms
are inside our home.
Okay, you could give the information
without the attitude.
Yeah, Steve was cool
sitting this one out.
And, hey, I don't expect Matt
to be a trivia asset.
But look, if things
get crazy and we lose,
then there's someone to blame.
It'll all be Matt's fault. [CHUCKLES]
Tim and I, we can just rail
on him, so
Yeah, I don't know.
I guess I'm becoming
a bit of a softie. [CHUCKLES]
- [PENS TAPPING RHYTHMICALLY]
- Bruce, hey.
Listen, just to say, in case you were
Tim likes microbrews.
Of course he does.
- Dream guy ♪
- OK.
All right, I'll see you at the house.
Garage!