Georgie and Mandy's First Marriage (2024) s02e14 Episode Script

1
Previously on Georgie & Mandy's
First Marriage
What'd Missy do now?
I came home from church early
and found your sister
in her bedroom
with a boy.
Were they doing it?
They were trying.
What's that mean?
There were pants on the floor,
that is all I'm saying.
So, what'd you do?
What do you think I did?
I took off my shoe
and I hit him with it.
Hey, it's your mom.
She sounds mad.
Probably Missy.
Hello.
I am so upset with your sister.
- Missy.
- Mm.
What'd she do now?
I found condoms in her room.
- What?
- It is worse.
The box isn't full.
- What's happening?
- Well, did you talk to her?
She is at school.
- Who's the boy?
- What boy?
My mom found condoms
in Missy's room.
Yikes.
I don't know who he is.
- Well, what are you gonna do?
- Ground her,
kill her, I haven't decided.
How about this?
You ground her, I'll kill him.
Deal.
- Give me.
- Why?
I think I can help.
Hey, Mary. Uh, if you're okay
with it, I can talk to her.
- Why?
- Well, she trusts me.
Maybe I can find out
what's going on.
I know what's going on.
There's a three-pack of condoms
and only two left.
Well, that could mean
a lot of things.
Like?
Like
Let me talk to her
and get back to you.
Okay. Thanks.
I cannot believe this.
Well, at least
she was being careful.
Careful is keeping
your pants on.
She's a teenager.
It's gonna happen
sooner or later.
Later. I love later.
A-And when you talk to her,
get the name of this guy.
And where he lives.
And if he's bigger than me.
Okay, one step at a time.
Where did she even get condoms?
Drugstore, I guess.
Really? I never had the courage
to buy them at a drugstore.
Which is why I had
to buy a pregnancy test.
Why was she snooping in my room?
More importantly,
you cannot tell her
I gave them to you.
She's gonna kill me.
Probably.
What do I do?
Well, she doesn't know
you did anything.
She knows
there's a condom missing.
Right, so I guess
that means you
Yeah.
So, how'd it go?
Over so fast
I'm not sure it counted.
Yeah. Get used to that.
I'm dead.
Well, I think we have
two options here:
we come clean and we hope
she understands or
we lie our asses off.
That one. Asses.
Okay, I'll tell your mom
that you stole them
from the drugstore.
- Why?
- Well, shoplifting,
it's a distraction,
like pleading guilty
to a lesser offense.
- Smart.
- Mm-hmm, and you were curious
how they worked,
so you took one out
and you put it on a banana.
A banana?
A cucumber, a carrot,
it doesn't matter.
What matters is
you weren't having sex.
- Right.
- Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
I got your back.
Someday I hope I can do this
kind of thing for CeeCee.
What is wrong with you? No!
If you don't need anything else,
I'm-a head out.
Already?
I work part-time for free.
I leave when I want.
Hey, can I ask you
a personal question?
Sure.
When Mandy was a teenager,
how did you keep boys
away from her?
Your daughter craps in a diaper.
That ought to take care
of the boys for a while.
No, it's my sister.
With my dad gone,
she's my responsibility.
Yeah, I get that.
Well, when the fellas used
to come around to see Mandy,
I'd shake their hands so hard
I could see tears in their eyes.
I think I missed my window
to scare the boy off.
Oh, well, in that case,
I find living in denial
to be an excellent
coping strategy.
So, stick my head in the sand?
Oh, yeah. Deep as you can go.
- I-I don't think I can do that.
- You sure?
It got me through finding out
that my daughter got knocked up
by some dumbass 17-year-old.
But now you love me, right?
Shake my hand,
let me show you how much.
You know I don't like gossip,
but there's a nasty rumor
going around about
one of our younger parishioners.
Oh. Really?
Um, anyone I know?
Actually, yes.
Mark Delfino.
Word on the street is, he's
selling marijuana cigarettes.
Everybody knows that.
He's a terrible child.
Oh, you're here.
Hey.
Hey, Mandy. What brings you by?
She doesn't need a reason
to visit her mother-in-law.
That's nice.
How's little CeeCee doing?
I bet she's gabbing up a storm.
Oh, yeah,
she is a real chatterbox.
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
- What have you got?
- Okay, it's not as bad as you think.
There was no sex.
Oh, thank the Lord.
Wait.
Why, then, was there
a condom missing?
Oh, well
You're gonna laugh.
Um, she was curious,
so she took one out
and she put it on a banana.
That's what she told you?
Yeah.
And you believed it?
You don't?
No. That is the stupidest story
I've ever heard.
No, it's a good story.
It's very plausible.
Oh, and she stole them
from the drugstore.
Well, that part I buy.
What are you gonna do?
I am gonna put the fear of God
into that girl
is what I'm gonna do.
Well, what exactly
does that entail?
Well, for starters,
I'm gonna ground her,
take her door off her bedroom.
- That should do it.
- Then I'm gonna sit her in front of the TV
and make her watch videos
of childbirth.
Try and find
some big-headed babies.
Wow. You've really
thought about this.
Every day for 16 years.
Oh, CeeCee's getting cuter
by the day.
You know, when she was born,
she was bald
and chunky like Jim,
but now she's all me.
Hey, Mom, need the phone.
Oh, in a minute.
I'm talking to your Aunt Louise.
Okay, but this is important.
Well, so is this.
It's Amanda.
Aunt Louise says hi.
Oh, let me talk to her.
Hi, Aunt Louise.
Bye, Aunt Louise.
Amanda.
Yes, I know, I'm terrible.
I'll be right back.
- Hello.
- Hey.
She didn't believe
the banana story,
which is crazy,
'cause it's so good.
Melissa Cooper, where are you?
- I got to go.
- Oh, but she did believe
you stole it, so run with that.
What was that all about?
Oh, I'd rather not say.
Amanda.
Missy got caught shoplifting.
I believe it.
Who is the boy?
There is no boy.
- Was that him on the phone?
- No.
You had better start
explaining yourself.
Why? You're just gonna
tell me I'm going to hell.
Well, sex before marriage
is a sin.
You did it.
And God punished me
with a disrespectful daughter.
I'm not talking about this.
But you'll talk to Mandy?
Yes. She listens
and doesn't lecture me.
Did she know about this?
Pass the salt.
Hello?
- Huh?
- Salt.
Oh. Sorry.
You okay?
Yeah. Fine.
Here's some good news:
I may buy a trombone.
How is that good news?
I don't own one and now I might.
Anyone else lost?
I'll get it.
Hello?
She's headed your way
and she's pissed.
Hang on.
What did you tell her?
I'll get it.
Hey.
We're eating dinner.
Don't be rude.
You're on the phone.
I thought my trombone news
would've made a bigger splash.
Where is your lying wife?
Can you come back later?
We're having dinner.
Mary, I know you're mad
Oh, I am way past mad.
I am ticked.
About what?
You don't know about this one
giving your sister condoms?
What?
How could you do that?
She's just a kid.
Should we give them
some privacy?
- Shut up.
- No.
What were you thinking?
She was thinking
that it was her place
to make decisions
about my daughter.
Hey, she came to me.
Uh, then you lied about it?
Only because I didn't want
to get her in trouble.
Or get me in trouble.
You stay away from Missy.
Wow.
I've never seen her so upset.
She ain't the only one.
- Whoa.
- I'm with Mary on this.
Whoa.
Are you avoiding me?
I'm trying.
Okay, listen.
Missy was talking to me
about this guy she's seeing,
it was starting to get serious,
so I wanted to make sure
she was safe.
Did you try telling her
not to do it?
If anybody had told
you that, would it have worked?
That's different. I'm a guy.
So it was okay for you
to have sex in high school
but not the girls you were with?
Yes.
And I, for one, was disappointed
in their lack of self-control.
I'm sure they were
disappointed, too.
This ain't about me. This is
about you keeping secrets.
You honestly want to know
about your sister's sex life?
No, but I need to.
She's my responsibility.
Fine.
She's been seeing this guy
for a while,
she really likes him,
they've been fooling around,
mostly over-the-clothes stuff,
but you know
You're right,
don't want to hear it.
Which is why I was handling it.
She's my responsibility, too.
Well, my mom don't see it
that way.
Well, then you need
to make her understand.
I ain't taking your side
in this.
You have no choice.
I'm your wife.
So I don't get to decide
the side I'm on?
No, the side was decided,
and the side is mine.
What about the boy?
Can I at least kick his ass?
Should my brother
have kicked your ass?
Connor? Please.
Like I had time to beat up
every guy Mandy had sex with.
So, just because I'm married,
I'm supposed to tell my mom
she's wrong?
You can't go against your mom.
Well, what about my wife?
Dude, you only get one mom.
You can have tons of wives.
Seriously?
Fine. Two, three, tops.
Maybe four. You started young.
Since you have none wives,
maybe pipe down.
Well, what would you do?
Rule of thumb,
if you have to pick
between two women,
always pick the one
you sleep with.
Aw, you can only sleep
with one woman?
I sleep with several.
- No, you don't.
- I could.
So you always side with
Mrs. McAllister over your mom?
Exactly.
You know,
I've never met your mom.
Exactly.
Well, I'm not cutting out
my mother.
I want her and Mandy
to get along.
I really could.
I have tried so hard
to raise Missy
with good Christian values.
Not your fault. Kids these days
are faced with
all sorts of temptation.
Tell me about it.
Just the other day,
I saw a music video
about a man who liked big butts.
Oh, Lord.
He was honest about it.
But it's still very troubling.
And Mandy's not helping,
making Missy think
that this kind of
behavior's acceptable.
Well, we'll continue
to pray on this.
Thank you for listening.
God didn't give me these
just for holding up sunglasses.
- Hey, Georgie.
- Shh.
I don't want my mom
to know I'm here.
- What's going on?
- Oh, she's mad at Mandy,
I'm caught in the middle,
and I'm hoping
you can smooth things out.
Won't that put me in the middle?
Yep. So what's the plan?
Well, your mother's unhappy
that Mandy overstepped
her bounds.
I didn't ask for a recap,
I asked for a plan.
I suppose I could sit down
with all parties
and open up
a line of communication?
Great. Let me know how it goes.
You're one of the parties.
Oh, come on.
Does anyone really think
I'll be helpful here?
You're not putting me in a room
with three angry women, Georgie.
You're coming.
First of all,
I just want to thank everyone
for being here.
In a family,
nothing is more important
than honest
and open communica
Oh, just start.
I'll start.
I don't want to be here.
Well, you should've
thought about that
before you took
your clothes off.
Please let me leave.
Suck it up.
You are so lucky
your father's not alive,
because this
would've killed him.
And you wonder why
she doesn't want to talk to you.
- Mandy.
- What? She's making it worse.
- No, you're making it worse.
- Uh, Georgie,
let's keep it civil.
You're right. I should take
a walk around the block and
Sit.
The reason we're here
is not to rehash the past.
What's been done is done.
It's for y'all
to find a way forward
as a loving Christian family.
This isn't fair.
Georgie had sex in high school,
no one went crazy.
- Hey.
- I was not happy about that,
but at least he married her.
I wasn't talking about Mandy.
Hey.
How did I go so wrong
with my children?
Oh, well, if it makes you
feel any better,
Sheldon will probably
die a virgin.
That is not true.
When the time is right,
he will find a wife
and have a beautiful family.
Oh, come on, Mom.
Just leave Shelly out of this.
And you stay away from Missy.
It's not her fault.
I asked her for help.
Yeah, because she couldn't
come to you.
Why? Because I have values
that you think are a joke?
I don't think they're a joke,
I think they're unrealistic.
Teenagers have sex.
Excuse me. Most save
themselves for marriage.
- Most?
- Many.
How many?
The point is,
abstinence is cool.
Missy, I hope you understand,
your mother is just trying
to keep you safe.
So was I.
I'm talking about her soul.
And I'm talking about her
not getting pregnant.
There is only one sure way
to not get pregnant.
Being Sheldon's future wife?
That's enough out of you.
Really? You're on Mom's side?
No, I'm
I'm on Mandy's side.
Is that so?
Seriously?
So, you're okay with your wife
giving your sister
prophylactics?
Yes.
Just to be clear,
that's what old people
call condoms, right?
Right.
Then, yeah, I guess I am.
Georgie.
Hey, I don't like the idea
of her doing stuff
with boys either.
It's not "boys,"
it's just "boy."
What's his name?
- Nice try.
- See? She can't talk to me
'cause I just want
to kick this kid's ass,
she can't talk to you 'cause
you're just gonna pray at her,
so it's good she's got Mandy.
She can always talk to me.
I'm being serious right now.
So, if you're gonna
be mad at Mandy,
then be mad at me, too,
'cause we're a team.
Done.
Can I leave now?
This meeting? Yes.
Your room?
Not for the next 20 years!
I know we may not
have solved everything,
but I think
we made some progress.
"Abstinence is cool"?
If you'd ever tried it,
you'd know.
Whoa.
Mary, that was uncalled for.
But we were all thinking it.
You can't do that here.
I-It's okay, Officer,
we're married.
Then go home.
Sorry, um
he took my side over
his mother's tonight, and
I couldn't keep
my hands off him.
You took her side?
Yes, ma'am.
Then knock yourselves out.
In his defense, he did warn us.