Happy's Place (2024) s02e14 Episode Script

1
[UPBEAT BLUESY MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
I can't tell which
angle makes it scream,
"Hey, welcome to a
modern, cool speakeasy!"
Well, from any angle, I'm
pretty sure it's screaming,
"Hey, I'm a chair! I
shouldn't even be talking."
I just want every
detail of our speakeasy
to be perfect, you know?
I got this vintage record
player at a garage sale.
Oh, and this vintage coffee
table at another garage sale.
- Oh, and those pillows?
- Garage sale.
Actually, I got those on Etsy.
- Oh.
- [SIGHS]
I just want it to be special, you know?
It's my baby.
Aw. It is special.
You should feel real good about it.
I'll feel better once
our lighting is finished.
Step ahead of you, sister.
[SQUEALS]
I had the electrician
install it over the weekend.
Thank you, Bobbie.
You're welcome.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
Oh, you're doing great.
Only thing to keep in
mind moving forward
is to keep a cool head.
Nothing to get worked up about.
Hey, guys, hide the hooch.
The fuzz is here.
Oh, yeah. Just a little speakeasy humor.
It's the health inspector.
The health inspector?
Wh that's not until Wednesday!
Remember me?
Monica Ulrich, Department of Health,
- badge number
- ALL: 168.
Yep, yep, yep.
Monica, what are you doing here?
I'll be performing the health inspection
for this space on Wednesday.
I'd like you to have this
paperwork filled out by then.
We didn't have to do this last time.
Well, I wanted to get here ahead of time
to tell you that, unofficially,
I'm really looking forward
to spending time with you
as just one of the gals.
You know, gal time.
Why?
Well, during our last encounter,
I felt that the staff and I had
developed an easygoing rapport.
Did I work here then?
[LAUGHS] She's just kidding.
Of course we did.
I'm relieved it's mutual.
Well, I guess I'll see
you gals Wednesday!
[LAUGHS]
Have a good day.
I don't know what that badge does,
but I never want one.
Bobbie, are you sure
you're going to be OK
with Monica doing the inspection?
Of course. Why wouldn't I be?
Um, the last time she was here,
all she did was flirt with Emmett.
Her nickname for him was Hot Sauce.
[LAUGHS]
Don't be ridiculous.
I'll be fine.
- You sure?
- Of course I'm sure.
Now let's get downstairs
and open that other
business that we're running.
OK.
Ooh.
Crap. I'm going to need that.
Sometimes it feels
like a big ol' fight ♪
To get through the day ♪
And sleep on through the night ♪
But here you'll find a place ♪
That'll surely lift your spirits ♪
You belong at Happy's Place ♪
[GASPS] Oh!
Did my birthday come early?
Who sent me two front
row seats to "Mamma Mia!"?
- They're addressed to Emmett.
- Ugh.
How dare he go to a musical without me?
Maybe he wants to
only hear the actors sing.
I mouth the words.
Yeah, and a lot of sound comes out.
Oh, there he is.
The dancing king.
What?
Your "Mamma Mia!" tickets came.
You know you can get those by email.
I got those for me and
Bobbie when we were together.
Sorry.
Are you still going to go?
No.
Well, these are great
seats, and I love ABBA.
Could I maybe buy them from you?
No.
Just 'cause I'm not going to use them
doesn't mean you can.
Wow. [LAUGHS]
And I thought you guys were friends.
Did you do something?
Ooh, ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Yes, you in the back.
Well, maybe he's mad at you
because you blabbed his secret
and Bobbie broke up with him.
Why is he attacking me?
I didn't blab his secret. Takoda did.
He should be attacking Takoda.
You're a real profile in courage, Steve.
Well, I don't know if this
will make you feel any better,
but the important thing is,
no one's mad at me.
She's wrong.
I hate her.
[UPBEAT BLUESY MUSIC]
- [WHIRRING]
- Eat it.
Hey, Bobbie, I was
uh-oh.
You're shredding.
You only do that when you're upset.
Is it Monica?
No, it's your paycheck.
Of course it's Monica.
If it really bothers you,
I'm sure there's some
way we can get rid of her.
She won't fit in the shredder.
But really, I have
no right to interfere.
I was the one that said Emmett
and I should just be friends.
Technically true.
But if Emmett and Monica start to date,
you're going to have
to see that every day.
We can't have a health inspector here.
She'll probably make me
stop feeding the alley cats.
Those are raccoons.
[GASPS]
- She's shredding.
- Mm-hmm.
She's upset because she thinks
Monica and Emmett will start dating,
and then they'll, you know, mm
[IMITATING KISSING] Mm-mm-mm.
OK. I don't love the visual.
And I don't love the sound effects.
It makes complete sense, Bobbie, OK?
Just because you two
are no longer dating
doesn't mean you want to see
him with someone else, OK?
So what do you want to do about it?
I don't think there's
anything we can do about it.
Look.
Emmett goes fishing on Wednesdays
and doesn't get back until noon,
so that means all we have to do
is get Monica in and out in an hour.
There's three problems with that.
The first two are you and you.
What do you mean?
Well, Isabella likes to brag
about everything she's
done to the speakeasy
impressive, but time-consuming.
- Accurate, yet hurtful.
- Yeah.
And, Gabby, there's a
reason your name is Gabby.
You can't stand silence.
That is not true.
- Somebody speak!
- OK.
If we're going to get rid
of Monica in record time,
you two need to zip it.
- OK.
- OK. We promise.
[GRUNTING]
Now, what was the third issue?
Oh, yeah, Steve.
There's no way he's going to rush out
the health inspector.
Shoot, the selfies alone
will take 40 minutes.
Don't you worry.
I'll talk to Steve.
Not overtalk
just the right amount.
[UPBEAT BLUESY MUSIC]
Hey, remember when you said
that Emmett wasn't mad at you?
- Mm-hmm.
- Mamma Mia, were you wrong.
Leave him alone.
You don't know anything.
Well, you know, my name is Gabby
because I hear things.
Wait.
What did you hear?
I overheard Emmett talking to Isabella,
and he said that he can
never trust you again.
[SCOFFS] I'm totally trustworthy.
Takoda's the one you can't trust.
Watch it, Steve.
You only got one friend left.
You know what you have to do.
You have to talk to Emmett.
Talk to the king of not talking?
There are mimes that
talk more than Emmett.
Listen, if I've learned anything
about getting men to talk,
it's that you've got to trap them first.
I guess we could corner him
in the kitchen after our shift.
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
You've got to get him
someplace away from work
you know, where there's no distractions.
Hey.
I know.
Emmett goes fishing
every Wednesday morning.
You could trap him at the fishing shack.
Or you can just shove me
headfirst into an outhouse,
get it over with.
No, no, no.
You want him in his comfort zone.
And you know, don't
confront him too quickly.
Really take your time.
You know, I never say this,
but I think Gabby's right.
You know, I've never said this,
but let's go to a fishing shack.
[UPBEAT BLUESY MUSIC]
You know, if you wanted me to come
No talking, no bragging.
- We got to get her out of here.
- OK.
You doing OK over there?
I'll tell you when I'm done.
Done.
Dun, dun, dun, dun ♪
Hey, Monica, if you
need to get a closer look,
I could come over there
and just lift you right up,
you know?
Not necessary.
If I need, I have a ladder
in my Toyota Tundra.
Tundra.
Icy tundra.
Cold.
Brrr.
- Icy.
- What are you doing?
I don't know.
Get over there.
Now, this wood is
original to the building.
Has it been fireproofed?
Yes. Fireproofed and up to code.
I kept the original wood look because
Because that's the end of that story.
[LAUGHS]
Although from an aesthetic standpoint,
much more went into it.
Will someone escort me
to the refrigeration system?
It's right over here on
the other side of the bar
right next to the still-quiet Gabby.
Oh.
Oh, there's my glasses.
Oh, oh. [LAUGHS]
I don't know.
OK, refrigerator is here,
and the temperature
gauge is right there.
It's a refurbished 1957 Philco
incredibly authentic.
You see, these are
the kinds of touches
I'll keep to myself.
OK, the gauge is in range,
and that checks the
last item off the list.
Are we done?
We have successfully completed
the health inspection.
Oh.
That's a record, even for you.
Yeah. Best health inspector ever.
- This girl.
- OK.
I'd like to acknowledge
your professionalism
keeping the chatter
and personal anecdotes
to a minimum.
Your time is valuable,
and we respect that.
So get out of here!
And don't let the Prohibition era-style
sliding gate hit you on the way out.
Personally, I wanted
to hurry things along
- And we appreciate that.
- Let me finish, Bobbie.
OK.
I wanted to hurry things along
so we could transition into gal time.
Gal time?
- That's really a thing?
- Well, yes.
Well, now that my badge is off,
I don't want you to think of me
as Monica Ulrich, Department of Health.
I want you to think of me
as Monica Ulrich, Department of Friends!
[UPBEAT BLUESY MUSIC]
[FOOTSTEPS TAPPING]
Who's out there?
I'm armed.
Don't shoot.
It's Steve.
Who's hiding behind Takoda.
Hey, buddy.
What the hell are you
two doing out here?
Can we come in?
There's a lot of mosquitoes, and I think
they're attracted to my hand cream.
- Oh. Nice fishing shack, man.
- Yeah.
I love what you haven't
done to the place.
I'll say it again.
What the hell are y'all doing out here?
What do you mean?
I'm just a dude that loves a place
with fish and worms
and ugh, fish and worms.
We wanted to apologize.
Huh. For coming here?
I accept.
See you later.
No.
For me telling Isabella
that you knew about her.
I mean, technically,
I'm the one who told you,
so I'm also to blame.
But you know, just a little less.
Yeah, I know.
When I told you that, I
put you in a terrible spot,
just like Happy did me.
I'm glad you don't blame
us, but something's going on.
You know why I come out here?
The ambience?
The quiet.
So if you can't stay quiet, head out.
OK.
Wait. We're staying?
[UPBEAT BLUESY MUSIC]
So I said to the manager,
"Your waiter's not wearing any shoes!"
And he says to me
- true story, hand to God
- I believe you.
I believe you.
And he says to me, "That's OK.
He serves the food with his hands."
Oh, no!
[LAUGHTER]
Who knew there'd be
so many funny stories
about being a health inspector?
- I know.
- So many.
So very many.
I got a million of 'em.
Yeah. I know. We've heard 'em.
Oh, man.
You know, this would be so much more fun
if we were drinking.
Can we please start drinking?
Oh!
I'd love to imbibe in some spirits.
Hey, as long as you don't
serve them with your feet!
Oh, sha-ding!
OK, well, we don't want to keep you.
- So here we go.
- Yeah, yeah.
No, but wait, wait, wait.
What about you guys? Come on.
You must have some hilarious
stories about working here.
Ah, no. No.
Not not really.
Oh, come on.
It's a bar.
Surely there were some hijinks.
No. We pride ourselves in no hijinks.
Yep.
No hijinks and no quiche.
No.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Nothing?
- Nah.
OK, well, then I have one more.
Oh, yay.
No, this one, you're
going to find hilarious.
- OK.
- OK.
I get pretty lonely,
because I don't have any friends.
And I actually thought
that I might find some here.
How how funny is that?
Not exactly hilarious.
Wait a minute, Monica.
You know, Daddy always
said that Happy's was a place
where no one should feel alone.
It's a place where
everybody knows your name.
Wait. Wasn't that "Cheers"?
I think that
Let me finish, Monica.
It's here too.
I'd like for you to stay.
What about you two?
Do you want me to stay?
Yeah, I do.
Me too.
Sha-ding! Ha!
[UPBEAT BLUESY MUSIC]
What are you doing?
I'm organizing.
I'd do this alphabetically,
but I have no idea what they're called.
Wow.
I was wrong.
You're being quiet, and
you're still a problem.
Get out.
We're worried about you, man.
Thought you were
worried I was mad at you.
Even if you're not mad at us,
we can tell that
something's bothering you.
We just want to know what's going on.
I don't feel like talking.
Why?
Because I don't feel like it.
Well, we're not leaving until
you tell us what's going on.
Right, Takoda?
Right.
So why won't you talk to us?
Because talking ruined everything.
What do you mean,
"Talking ruined everything"?
Because Happy told me his secret,
and then he died.
Then I tell Bobbie his secret,
and then she leaves me.
So you guys add all that up.
What's the problem?
Talking?
- Bingo.
- No.
Emmett, I'm sorry that happened,
but I don't think
talking is the problem.
You lost two of the
most important people
in your life, people you
felt safe opening up to.
You need to open up to somebody, man.
I'm fine.
No, you're not.
You were, but then something happened.
I guess it was when those
theater tickets arrived,
it hit me.
This thing with Bobbie,
it's not going to blow over.
We're not going to get back together.
I really hoped you would.
Me too.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know what I'm going to do.
I do.
You're going to move
on, which will be hard.
And you'll still have us to talk to.
Although maybe in a different place.
Hey.
You want to learn how to whittle?
No.
But I'll sweep up.
Deal.
Watch out for the fish heads down there.
Ohh.
They're looking at me.
[LAUGHTER]
I get it.
Monica, you're a hoot.
Thanks for getting me to stay.
I'm glad you did.
Yeah, we all are.
I just get so insecure
and start spinning out
about, you know, not having any friends
and not being liked
and being unlucky in love
and, you know, dying alone.
Oh, yeah, I
Sounds to me like
you're borrowing trouble.
And I should know,
because I've been doing that
a lot lately.
Honestly, me too.
I keep worrying that
something's going to go wrong
with the speakeasy and
then it'll be a big failure
and the tavern will go bankrupt
and I'll lose all my
teeth to night grinding.
See?
That's a heap of borrowed trouble.
I don't need to borrow trouble.
I live with it.
And its name is Mom.
Well, so how do you guys deal?
I mean, once I start
borrowing, I can't stop.
You know what works for me?
- What?
- My friends.
These two had my back
when I was spinning out,
and now we have yours.
Really?
- Yeah.
- Really.
You have nothing to be insecure about.
And don't be afraid about
putting yourself out there.
OK.
Thanks.
[GASPS] Big E!
Monica.
What are you doing here?
Oh, I was just, uh,
talking with my friends.
Well, it's good to see you.
Hey, I was wondering,
would you want to grab a
cup of coffee next week?
You should go, Emmett.
She's a lot of fun.
Yeah, that'd be nice.
I'm in.
OK, great.
Well, I'll give you a call.
I know this great place that
cleans their espresso machine
like you wouldn't believe.
All right.
I'll see you next week.
OK, perfect.
All right.
Are you OK, Bobbie?
Yeah. I'm fine.
[CHUCKLING]
[UPBEAT BLUESY MUSIC]
I take it you enjoyed "Mamma Mia"?
It was the greatest show
I've ever seen in my life.
In my life!
Thanks for nothing.