Tom Goes to the Mayor (2004) s02e14 Episode Script
Glass Eyes
0
Jefferton alive
Hi. I'm the Mayor,
and my door is always open for you!
Jefferton alive
My name is Tom Peters,
and I'm full of ideas.
Community spirit!
Hi. How are you?
Shopping!
Food!
Free to be, being free ♪
Jefferton alive
I'm still a little confused.
What do you call that thing again?
It A glass eye.
Like I said, I had a little accident with my stepchildren.
So you can't feel this at all,
can you?
Well, a little bit,
but it's fine.
It's not connected
to any nerves or anything.
All right.
OK.
- Mayor's office.
- OK
- Well, it's Tom Peters here.
- Hey, Tom.
I just wanted to stop by and tell you about this little charity I'm doing some work for.
- Great. I'd love to hear about it.
- OK.
Well, do you mind if I show you
this web film?
No, go ahead, please.
The Donnington Group.
Don't you wish
you could do something to help
all the poor eyeless children
of the world?
Well
Now you can.
Yes, the Donnington Group,
makers of fine glass eyes
havea surplus
of factory-imperfect glass eyes
and have agreed to donate
all oversized
discontinued
novelty styles,
and misshaped eyes
to the neediest children
of the world.
Won't you help
the Donnington Group
to bring dignity
to these poor eyeless children?
After all,
what's a dime worth, anyway?
Not much.
Here's a dime.
That sounds like a great charity.
Sorry, I might have led you down the wrong path there.
I'm not actually allowed
to take cash donations.
But what we are doing is a hoagie sale.
I'm not quite following you here, Tom.
Let me back up.
You're familiar
with the Father/Son Barrel Goat Hunt?
Absolutely.
I've been looking forward to it all year.
Yeah, well, my son is just going nuts right now.
- He can't wait.
- He must be so excited.
Yeah, and the way it works is
we've got to sell 100 hoagies
just to qualify for the thing
but it's going
for a pretty good cause.
All the proceeds for the hoagie sales
go to the Two Eyes
for the Third World Foundation.
And the way it works is,
the Donnington Group is gonna donate
one glass eye
for every hoagie we sell.
Well, that sounds great, Tom.
I just have one question, though.
- What the heck is a "hoo-gie"?
- Well, that's easy.
It's just a long meat and lettuce sandwich.
Let me think about this for a second.
Sign me up
for one hoo-gie ♪
Hey, Mayor.
What are you doing here so late?
- Who's there, please?
- It's Tom Peters.
Hey, Tom.
What's up with the sunglasses?
Take a look at these babies.
What did you do to your eyes?
I took your advice and replaced
my real eyes with some glass ones.
- OK
- Listen
Do you happen to have any more of those hoo-gies lying around?
I'm sorry
No, we're not doing that anymore.
I thought you heard. City Council
cancelled the Barrel Goat Hunt
because last year
there were some accidents
with people getting hit
with arrows or something.
No Barrel Goat Hunt means no hoo-gies
and no hoo-gies
means no hoo-gies for me.
I need my baby hoo-gies ♪
Beware
the Barrel Goat Menace!
Here walks a gentleman about town,
whistling without care.
But behind every corner lurks
the dirty vermin known as the barrel goat.
Hide your pickle barrels!
The vinegar quaff can send
a barrel goat into a violent frenzy.
And don't forget,
barrel goats eat babies, too.
So grab your bow
and quiver
and strike before
a barrel goat strikes you first!
So, as you can see
from this documentary we just saw
the Barrel Goat Hunt
just has to be a priority for Jefferton.
All right, Mr. Mayor
as you may or may not know
we haven't had a barrel goat problem in several years.
I'm gonna disagree on that.
Our main concern here
is the killing of innocent people
with the
let me see herearrows.
But if you insist
I suppose we could provide you
with a few zoo goats
and if you'd be able to keep the hunt within Memorial Park.
I agree. That could limit
the amount of innocent deaths.
Well, Tom,
mark me down for 100 hoo-gies.
Let's meet at your house in 10 minutes
and we'll practice for the goat hunt.
Well, for the record
I was planning
on partnering up with my son.
Wrong again, buddy.
The Barrel Goat Hunt is back on!
Tomorrow, teams of two will search out a swarm of these filthy critters
and shoot to kill!
You know, the teams consist of a shepherd and an archer.
That's right. I did a little bit of research,
and I found out
that it's the shepherd's job
to pin down that goat and open him up
so the archer has
a clean shot at him.
I hope we can get some free goat steaks
out of this whole thing when it's all over.
Wayne?
All right, troops,
gather round.
I have some good news
and some bad news for you, here.
The good news is
the Mayor drafted me to be his partner. Thank you.
As you know, I've been looking
for some quality face time with him
so it works out.
And the bad news is,
Brendon, unfortunately
you'll have to sit
this year outyou know.
Of course, I need to borrow your sleeping bag.
I got to go meet up with my partner
for the pre-hunt sleepover.
Nice one, idiot.
You know, you're always there for me.
You're my hero, big guy.
I think about you all night.
I just want to grab you
and just hold you all over.
Well, OK, thank you.
Is that you, Tom?
Go back to sleep, buddy.
All right. Good night.
GreetingsJefferton.
The Donnington Group
and Two Eyes for the Third World
would like to thank you all personally
for your generous donations
totaling
$130.
Yes!
It looks like we'll be able to craft
3.4
eyes for underprivileged children.
Thanks for making a difference
Jefferton.
Now
let's go hunt those goats!
Bigger? I don't think I can.
Now, let's go hunt those goats!
Well, partner up and pull that bow
Everybody set out and get that goat
Mr. Archer,
get that goat in sight
Shepherd, better hold that goat down tight
It's my advice to shoot to kill ♪
You got to strike first or the goat will ♪
Well
The goats broke
through the police tape!
Tom, get me to my scooter.
Let's get those darned goats!
All the goats just left their designated spot
Better take it to the street,
get those barrel goats caught
OK, straighten her out.
Straighten her out. There you go.
Guide me, shepherd, guide me.
Hold her steady.
Wait, turn back!
There he is. I got him.
All right now, easy, fella.
That's a boy.
Sheppy, where's that goat?
I have him.
I have him right here.
Just everyone relax.
I'm sorry, boy.
We'll try to make this quick, honey.
All right, hold it.
Left.
Right. Aim lower, aim lower.
Open her up for me, sheppy!
Dear Joy,
I have some bad news.
It looks like I'll need
to establish residency here for one year
to qualify as an orphan
to receive my free eye
through the Two Eyes
for the Third World program.
This is unfortunate because I've yet to take
to some of the spices
they use in the food here.
I also hope that I'm not swayed
by one of the many religions they offer.
See you in about a year.
Love to the boys, Tom.
Abso-lutely.
Jefferton alive
Hi. I'm the Mayor,
and my door is always open for you!
Jefferton alive
My name is Tom Peters,
and I'm full of ideas.
Community spirit!
Hi. How are you?
Shopping!
Food!
Free to be, being free ♪
Jefferton alive
I'm still a little confused.
What do you call that thing again?
It A glass eye.
Like I said, I had a little accident with my stepchildren.
So you can't feel this at all,
can you?
Well, a little bit,
but it's fine.
It's not connected
to any nerves or anything.
All right.
OK.
- Mayor's office.
- OK
- Well, it's Tom Peters here.
- Hey, Tom.
I just wanted to stop by and tell you about this little charity I'm doing some work for.
- Great. I'd love to hear about it.
- OK.
Well, do you mind if I show you
this web film?
No, go ahead, please.
The Donnington Group.
Don't you wish
you could do something to help
all the poor eyeless children
of the world?
Well
Now you can.
Yes, the Donnington Group,
makers of fine glass eyes
havea surplus
of factory-imperfect glass eyes
and have agreed to donate
all oversized
discontinued
novelty styles,
and misshaped eyes
to the neediest children
of the world.
Won't you help
the Donnington Group
to bring dignity
to these poor eyeless children?
After all,
what's a dime worth, anyway?
Not much.
Here's a dime.
That sounds like a great charity.
Sorry, I might have led you down the wrong path there.
I'm not actually allowed
to take cash donations.
But what we are doing is a hoagie sale.
I'm not quite following you here, Tom.
Let me back up.
You're familiar
with the Father/Son Barrel Goat Hunt?
Absolutely.
I've been looking forward to it all year.
Yeah, well, my son is just going nuts right now.
- He can't wait.
- He must be so excited.
Yeah, and the way it works is
we've got to sell 100 hoagies
just to qualify for the thing
but it's going
for a pretty good cause.
All the proceeds for the hoagie sales
go to the Two Eyes
for the Third World Foundation.
And the way it works is,
the Donnington Group is gonna donate
one glass eye
for every hoagie we sell.
Well, that sounds great, Tom.
I just have one question, though.
- What the heck is a "hoo-gie"?
- Well, that's easy.
It's just a long meat and lettuce sandwich.
Let me think about this for a second.
Sign me up
for one hoo-gie ♪
Hey, Mayor.
What are you doing here so late?
- Who's there, please?
- It's Tom Peters.
Hey, Tom.
What's up with the sunglasses?
Take a look at these babies.
What did you do to your eyes?
I took your advice and replaced
my real eyes with some glass ones.
- OK
- Listen
Do you happen to have any more of those hoo-gies lying around?
I'm sorry
No, we're not doing that anymore.
I thought you heard. City Council
cancelled the Barrel Goat Hunt
because last year
there were some accidents
with people getting hit
with arrows or something.
No Barrel Goat Hunt means no hoo-gies
and no hoo-gies
means no hoo-gies for me.
I need my baby hoo-gies ♪
Beware
the Barrel Goat Menace!
Here walks a gentleman about town,
whistling without care.
But behind every corner lurks
the dirty vermin known as the barrel goat.
Hide your pickle barrels!
The vinegar quaff can send
a barrel goat into a violent frenzy.
And don't forget,
barrel goats eat babies, too.
So grab your bow
and quiver
and strike before
a barrel goat strikes you first!
So, as you can see
from this documentary we just saw
the Barrel Goat Hunt
just has to be a priority for Jefferton.
All right, Mr. Mayor
as you may or may not know
we haven't had a barrel goat problem in several years.
I'm gonna disagree on that.
Our main concern here
is the killing of innocent people
with the
let me see herearrows.
But if you insist
I suppose we could provide you
with a few zoo goats
and if you'd be able to keep the hunt within Memorial Park.
I agree. That could limit
the amount of innocent deaths.
Well, Tom,
mark me down for 100 hoo-gies.
Let's meet at your house in 10 minutes
and we'll practice for the goat hunt.
Well, for the record
I was planning
on partnering up with my son.
Wrong again, buddy.
The Barrel Goat Hunt is back on!
Tomorrow, teams of two will search out a swarm of these filthy critters
and shoot to kill!
You know, the teams consist of a shepherd and an archer.
That's right. I did a little bit of research,
and I found out
that it's the shepherd's job
to pin down that goat and open him up
so the archer has
a clean shot at him.
I hope we can get some free goat steaks
out of this whole thing when it's all over.
Wayne?
All right, troops,
gather round.
I have some good news
and some bad news for you, here.
The good news is
the Mayor drafted me to be his partner. Thank you.
As you know, I've been looking
for some quality face time with him
so it works out.
And the bad news is,
Brendon, unfortunately
you'll have to sit
this year outyou know.
Of course, I need to borrow your sleeping bag.
I got to go meet up with my partner
for the pre-hunt sleepover.
Nice one, idiot.
You know, you're always there for me.
You're my hero, big guy.
I think about you all night.
I just want to grab you
and just hold you all over.
Well, OK, thank you.
Is that you, Tom?
Go back to sleep, buddy.
All right. Good night.
GreetingsJefferton.
The Donnington Group
and Two Eyes for the Third World
would like to thank you all personally
for your generous donations
totaling
$130.
Yes!
It looks like we'll be able to craft
3.4
eyes for underprivileged children.
Thanks for making a difference
Jefferton.
Now
let's go hunt those goats!
Bigger? I don't think I can.
Now, let's go hunt those goats!
Well, partner up and pull that bow
Everybody set out and get that goat
Mr. Archer,
get that goat in sight
Shepherd, better hold that goat down tight
It's my advice to shoot to kill ♪
You got to strike first or the goat will ♪
Well
The goats broke
through the police tape!
Tom, get me to my scooter.
Let's get those darned goats!
All the goats just left their designated spot
Better take it to the street,
get those barrel goats caught
OK, straighten her out.
Straighten her out. There you go.
Guide me, shepherd, guide me.
Hold her steady.
Wait, turn back!
There he is. I got him.
All right now, easy, fella.
That's a boy.
Sheppy, where's that goat?
I have him.
I have him right here.
Just everyone relax.
I'm sorry, boy.
We'll try to make this quick, honey.
All right, hold it.
Left.
Right. Aim lower, aim lower.
Open her up for me, sheppy!
Dear Joy,
I have some bad news.
It looks like I'll need
to establish residency here for one year
to qualify as an orphan
to receive my free eye
through the Two Eyes
for the Third World program.
This is unfortunate because I've yet to take
to some of the spices
they use in the food here.
I also hope that I'm not swayed
by one of the many religions they offer.
See you in about a year.
Love to the boys, Tom.
Abso-lutely.