Happy's Place (2024) s02e15 Episode Script

1
Mom, if you're going to order like that,
I'm not gonna take you to my
favorite bagel place anymore.
Oh, what's the big deal?
I don't want both sides toasted,
so I order a nice, cool
bottom with a piping hot top.
Speaking of a hot top, that's mine.
What? No.
I've had this thing forever.
No, look, look, there is a
mustard stain on the elbow.
And the tag is still on it
in case I could return it
without them noticing the elbow.
Well, that's what's been sticking me.
[GRUNTS]
- There, that's better.
- [GROANS]
Okay, Mom, you cannot
just wear my clothes
whenever you want.
Well, you can't blame me.
If your apartment was bigger,
we wouldn't have to share a closet.
You're right. It's my fault.
How can I expect you to
recognize your own clothing
in such a small space?
- [GABBY MOUTHS WORDS]
- I forgive you, my dear.
But the good news is,
I think it looks best on me, don't you?
I'm just the accountant.
Hey, hey.
My eyes are up here.
[CHUCKLES]
And if you'll excuse me,
I have a stain to get out.
Oh, my God. Hand me that lemon.
Hand me the lemon!
[GRUNTING]
That's better.
You know, if I knew Val when
I was studying narcissism,
I could have brought
her in for extra credit.
Ironically, the first thing you think of
is how a narcissist
could have helped you.
Hey, can you take care of this for me?
The property taxes on
Daddy's house are due again.
[SIGHS] Bobbie, as your
accountant, I have to say,
you either have to sell that house
or don't tell me and burn it
down for the insurance money.
I can't believe you
haven't sold that yet.
We cleaned it out over a month ago.
Remember?
I moved stuff while
you looked through stuff.
It's on the market.
I'm just waiting on the right
person to make an offer.
You know who's the right person?
The one who makes an offer.
Just take care of that, please.
Looks like someone could use some help
- dealing with their feelings.
- No, thanks.
I'll talk about it
with a real therapist.
- Hey.
- [SNAPS FINGERS]
My eyes are up here.
Sometimes it feels
like a big ol' fight ♪
To get through the day ♪
And sleep on through the night ♪
But here you'll find a place ♪
That'll surely lift your spirits ♪
You belong at Happy's Place ♪
Ooh, that's a nice gift basket.
I didn't know we knew any classy people.
It's from a family who wants the house,
like I'm some good-time Sally
they can just buy with popcorn.
Uh, I think they meant
it as a nice gesture.
Oh, really?
Well, it just so happens
that popcorn gives me gas.
What do you think about that now, huh?
I think that you're having a hard time
picturing someone else
living in Happy's house,
that they'll replace all your memories
with ones of their own.
Oh, my gosh, you've solved the problem.
I'm cured.
You can go now.
I'm just saying, I know this is hard.
Yeah, it is.
I think I could let the house go
if I knew that the people
living there were gonna fill it
with love and happiness.
Hey.
Steve told me that you
haven't sold Happy's house yet.
Well, congratulations.
I have your buyer.
I don't like where this is going.
- My mom.
- And it just got worse.
She's got money.
She says she screwed Dad in the divorce.
Which normally would bother me,
but I have got to get
her out of my apartment.
I thought she was staying
with you so the two of you
could work on your relationship.
Yeah, well, we can't work
on our mother-daughter issues
if we're working on roommate issues.
Like how I hate the
sound of her chewing,
which is even worse when she's eating.
I mean, who can chew milk? [PANTING]
I don't think this is
a good idea, Gabby.
No, please, Bobbie.
Please, I am desperate.
We just need a little space between us.
I think she'd be easier to
take if she was half a city away
and not attached to me like a barnacle
with chardonnay breath.
Barnacles actually try to support
the ecosystems they're
attached to, you know,
like coral reefs and
I'll be quiet now. [MUTTERS]
Huh? Hmm?
Okay, I'll let her look at the house.
But I can't promise anything.
Okay. Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Ah, freedom!
Uh, Val doesn't sound like
the buyer you were looking for.
What was I supposed to do?
You saw how important that is to Gabby.
Maybe Val won't like it.
Are you kidding? [CHUCKLES]
The house is quaint,
charming, and homey.
She'll hate it!
So you're going to
let Val be the villain?
You mean, am I gonna let Val be Val?
Yup.
Takoda, can you cover the kitchen
tomorrow night at dinner?
I've got a, uh, thing.
- No problem.
- Appreciate it.
A thing?
Emmett doesn't have things.
[GASPS] I bet this is
his date with Monica.
Oh, I don't know if we're ready.
We?
This is your date with Monica, isn't it?
- Isn't it?
- What about it?
Okay.
I wish we had more time, but
I guess we'll have to work fast.
I'll bring you back a doggie
bag, but you can't come.
Okay, there's a men's
store in Kingston Pike
where we can get almost everything,
but we'll have to make
the alterations overnight,
so expect to pay extra for that.
So while I'm there, you can go to Italy
and buy me some custom-made shoes.
It's a long flight, so
you should leave now.
Emmett, what you wear
tomorrow is important.
Haven't you heard the expression,
clothes make the man?
Yeah, and I'm pretty
sure it was invented
by a man who made clothes.
I'm trying to help you.
So tell me, what are
you planning on wearing?
Uh, this?
And I might take the apron off.
I forbid it.
[LAUGHS] You forbid it?
Let me take you shopping.
Let's at least get you a decent top.
Steve, I have lived my entire life
without buying "a top," so.
Don't worry about me, all right?
Nobody pays attention to clothes.
Don't listen to the bad man.
Come on in.
Well, are you sure we're okay
to leave the car parked out here?
Of course, Mom.
It's an adorable little street.
Next to a "community garden"?
I think we all know what that means.
Willie Nelson's bus'll be
pulling up twice a week.
Well, I hope you like the house
better than you like the neighborhood.
I hope so, too, Bobbie.
Thank you.
Well, let's get this tour started.
This is the living room.
Wow. Mom, look at all of this space.
It is quite big.
The tip of the tongue, lips, and teeth.
The tip of the tongue, lips, and teeth.
What are you doing?
I'm checking the room's resonance.
- And?
- It's very bad.
Yeah, most of the
rooms don't resonate right.
That's why we've had
trouble selling the place.
Plus, it's drafty.
You know, which is
something you can easily fix,
- right, Bobbie?
- Oh, absolutely.
We used to just roll up a towel
and stick it underneath the front door.
Well, if it's good
enough for a frat house.
- There you go.
- Hey, Mom.
Mom, look at this
beautiful built-in bookshelf.
It'd be perfect to display
your decorative bowls.
And my Belleek vases
would look lovely here as well.
Hmm.
Well, there used to be more shelves,
but the termites decided
we didn't need that top one.
Uh, termites?
Well, we'll get to put up one
of those big, fun tents, huh?
Hey, Mom, why don't you go
check out the kitchen, okay?
I hope, at the very least,
there's decent natural light.
Be prepared to be disappointed.
Hey, Bobbie, why are you being so honest
about everything that
is wrong with the house?
Well, I'm sorry, but
as a responsible seller,
I need to give her all the information.
It's my mother.
If she's not bound by the
truth, why should you be?
Bobbie, is this cutting board
built right into the counter?
Yes, it is, super convenient
and impossible to clean.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Hello, everyone.
What the hell is this?
I'm sorry, I don't know
what you're talking about.
Why are you dressed like me?
How could you notice how I'm dressed
[IMITATING EMMETT] When
nobody pays attention to clothes?
You know, if you put him on your lap,
you two could do a ventriloquist act.
[NORMALLY] Emmett,
people do notice clothes.
Monica definitely will.
Knock it off.
I'm already nervous
enough about this date.
You didn't seem nervous before.
I was lying.
Hold on I thought you were ready
to put yourself out there.
Well, I'm not.
I mean, I know who I am here,
and I know who I am at the fishing shack
and a football game.
The problem is, I don't
know who I am out there.
You be yourself.
Emmett, to me, clothes are a shield
I get to put on before I face the world.
The right turtleneck sweater
can change my mood from
"life is a hellish carnival" to
"maybe being human isn't so bad."
That's one hell of a sweater.
It's not the sweater.
It's the confidence it gives me.
And that's what I
was trying to give you.
But the most important thing, Emmett,
is that you feel like yourself
because you are magnificent.
Hey, Emmett, Takoda,
Emmett.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Oh, and you're welcome to keep the rug.
We only bought it to
hide the water damage.
You should have bought
something to hide the rug.
Well, I could tell you just
to buy another one, Mom,
but I'm sure there's
a reason that's stupid.
People will still know that
what's underneath is flawed.
Wearing a pretty dress
didn't get you invited to prom,
did it?
There it is.
Okay, well, have you
seen all you need to see?
- I think I have.
- Okay.
Don't feel like you need
to spare my feelings.
These older homes
aren't right for everyone.
An old home?
I should have put her in an old home.
Come on, Mom, back to hell.
Wait, wait, wait.
With my follow-through
and attention for detail,
this is the perfect home for me.
Congratulations, I'd like to buy it.
Hallelujah!
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Did I tell you we have rats?
You can't even get a cat
because the rats will kill it.
I never met a rat I couldn't drive away.
It's true. All animals, really.
What about the flooring
and all the water stains
and all the other things
that made you go, ugh?
I love a project.
And this house has great bones.
All I have to do is get rid of
the old skin and the organs.
Organs? You mean, like the heart?
Speaking of hearts,
mine is bursting with joy.
But I'll start with the backyard.
It's a complete do-over.
I mean, that ramshackle shed has to go.
That shed is where my
mama made her pottery.
Ah, my Belleek vases are pottery.
I'm pretty sure your mother
was just playing with clay.
- [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
- Oh, Mom, you are hilarious.
Look at her, already filling
this place with laughter.
That shed is where my
mama made things out of love.
And I'll be goat of
thunder if I'm gonna let
a cold, heartless woman tear it down!
Excuse me?
Bobbie, please.
I'm sorry, Gabby.
Sale is off.
[SCOFFS]
[SIGHS]
Well, you know how I
hate to criticize anyone.
But your friend is an awful person.
I thought you said
popcorn gives you gas.
It does.
I'm punishing myself.
Okay.
Except in a way, you'll
be punishing me too.
I feel terrible.
You should have seen Gabby's face
when I told her I wasn't gonna sell
Daddy's house to her mother.
I'm sure she understands.
She knows how hard it is for
you to let go of Happy's house.
It's not just Daddy's house.
If anything, it's more Mama's house.
Oh.
So this is about your mother.
Everyone forgets about her,
like she didn't matter, but she did.
She mattered a lot.
Do you wanna tell me about her?
What was she like?
Well, Daddy had the personality,
but Mama was the glue.
She filled our house with love
and made it a home.
That's why you haven't
been able to sell.
You know, you have the tavern
to keep Happy alive for you,
but the house is where
you remember your mother.
Well, I never thought
about it like that, but yeah.
And you want it to be filled
with love and happiness
the way she always did.
And don't get me wrong,
we had our share of fights.
Some of them were doozies.
I mean, you've met me.
Imagine me as a teenager.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, Red Thunder on steroids.
I don't like that.
Right. Sorry.
The point is, Mama never
let anybody leave the house
until they talked it out.
She always said that
you can't fix a problem
unless you're in the same room with it.
Well, let me ask you this.
Who would your mom
want to have the house?
The perfect family or the family that
needed a place to fix their problems?
Perfect family.
I know that's not right, but
I wanted to give it a shot.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
You heard anything from
Emmett about the date?
No.
And I'm sick about it, sick and nervous.
Sick, nervous, and
worried, and filled with regret.
Sick, nervous, worried,
filled with regret and sad and
Steve!
So the answer's no.
Emmett, you are beautiful.
Looking sharp, my brother.
Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.
Nobody's laughing. You look fantastic.
So how'd it go?
Well, I'll be honest,
I felt silly at first.
I kept waiting for her to ask,
but why the hell are
you dressed like that?
If she had asked that,
I would have fought her for you.
But I felt good.
I might even say I felt handsome.
So are you two going to go out again?
Yeah, well, that didn't come up,
so maybe it didn't
go so well on her side.
How could it not?
You're a goateed fox.
[PHONE BUZZES]
Is it from Monica? Tell us.
Tell us!
"Most fun I've had in a long time.
Can't wait for my next date
with the best-dressed man in Knoxville."
The goateed fox scores!
As a dear friend of mine once said,
clothes make the man.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Well, I have to say something.
When you drive fast,
it reflects poorly on me.
Yes, but the ride ends much sooner.
Someday, you'll be speeding,
have a horrible car crash,
end up under a truck,
and then what man will want you?
I think I swallowed a crown.
Hey, Bobbie.
Gabby.
Val.
Hello.
Well, I was thinking about
what I said yesterday, and
Val, if I was rude, I'm sorry.
No, that's all right.
And you were.
Mm-hmm.
But I'm not the one who
has to live with your guilt.
Listen, I might be willing
to sell you the house
Really? Done. Get the papers.
On one condition.
Oh, Bobbie, I have
to stop you right there.
I can't agree not to
change a lot of things.
And I know your parents meant well,
but I can't let people think
I did this.
This house held our family together,
and I think Mama would
wanna pass that on.
Great. All right.
Should I get a lawyer,
or will a handshake do?
What what exactly
are you saying, Bobbie?
Okay, I'm willing to
sell the house to you
if you agree that you and
Gabby live here together.
Like, with cameras?
For a reality TV show?
You know she doesn't show up on film.
Gabby, you wanted
to deal with your issues
with your mother.
Issues?
What is she talking about?
[CHUCKLING] I'll tell you later.
You two don't need to be in a place
where you're away from each other.
You need space, yes,
but you can't fix a problem
if you're not in the same room with it.
I'm sorry. I should be taking notes.
I didn't realize this was
going to be a lecture.
That's the deal. Take it or leave it.
[SIGHS]
Well, what do you think, Mom?
It is a big place.
Three bedrooms, two bathrooms.
You won't have to wait to use one
while I finish quietly screaming.
Well, God knows I could
never say no to my daughter.
[SCOFFS] You never said no to me?
Even when it hurt me.
A mother's pain begins with labor,
and it never really ends.
Please.
You said you had an
epidural for conception.
I don't like that.
Bobbie, it's a yes.
Well, then, welcome to your new home.
And, Bobbie, I want you to know
that I will do everything in my power
to finally make this a
home to be proud of.
- [CHUCKLES DRILY]
- Okay. Excuse me.
I need to go quietly
scream in the bathroom.
So should we hug?
No, we did that last week.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]