Happy Days (1974) s02e16 Episode Script

1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
So you're going out
with Mary Anne McCarthy tomorrow night?
Sure. What's wrong with her?
She looks like she's made out of pipe cleaners.
That's because she never shaves her legs.
Big deals.
Who you taking out?
Oh, well, uh I'm cutting back on dating.
It's not good for a guy.
That's how Robert Mitchum got the bags under his eyes.
How about you, Malph?
Well, I haven't made up my mind yet.
I've got it narrowed down to five living dolls
who are warm for my form.
No date, huh?
We're just sick
of the same old chicks around here; That's all, Bag.
We're gonna go cruisin'
and see if we can latch onto some new talent.
Why don't you drop Mary Ann and come with us, huh?
Not me. You know the old saying,
"A bird in the hand"
Yeah, but what you have is a dog on the leash.
Aw, cruising's always the same.
All you're gonna do
is drive around all night and come up empty.
Oh, yeah? Wanna bet? Yeah, I'll bet you.
I bet you I do better than you do.
In other words, whoever's not making out by midnight, loses.
You on?
What's the bet?
The bet is whoever loses
has to walk through Arnold's parking lot at midnight
in their underwear.
That's Arnold's busiest time.
Everyone will be there.
That's right.
Are you crazy, Bag?
What kind of bet is that?
It's a sure one for me.
Are you guys gonna punk out?
You're on, Bag. Pots!
Okay, I'll see you at midnight. Okay!
And wear zippers.
I don't want you to waste any time taking your pants off.
Why'd you take that bet?
Don't worry, Rich, we're a shoo-in.
We'll start tomorrow afternoon.
By dark we'll have some chicks.
After all, Ralph's heap's the best chick-mobile in town.
Yeah? Well, Ralph's chick-mobile blew a gasket.
It's in the shop till Monday.
Then we'll use Richie's car.
Girls love red convertibles.
Your car's all right, isn't it, Rich?
Yeah, sure, but I still don't think
we should have taken the bet.
I mean, you never can tell, we might strike out.
With my dimples?
Hey, Fonz. How you doin'?
Hey, Fonz, what are you doing here?
I'm gonna ignore that question.
Hey, listen, Fonz,
"would you like to go cruisi" with us tomorrow night?
With you guys?
If we're lucky we're gonna pick up
some red hot Junior Chipmunk.
What a kidder, Fonz.
Come on, I feel it. I know we're gonna score.
Hey, anything you guys pick up,
that's gonna be my reject anyway.
I got better things to do.
I'll catch you later.
So long. See you, Fonz.
All right, so we'll meet at my house tomorrow.
Where do you want to cruise?
Eastchester.
Good idea.
If you can't neck in Eastchester
you I better hang up your neck.
Morning.
Morning.
Oh, Richard, I fixed your favorite breakfast.
Blueberry pancakes.
Oh, that's terrific.
And fresh squeezed orange juice.
Boy!
Now, tell him why, Marion.
Well, you know that that bake sale
we were having at the Women's Club?
Yeah, the one at the supermarket, sure.
Yes, fine.
Well, anyway, we were short this one card table
so I decided to take ours,
and the only way I could get it over
there was to borrow your car.
That's all right, Mom, you can borrow my car any time.
Oh, thank you, dear.
I know how you love that car and I'm always so careful.
I know you are, Mom.
Oh, boy, they smell great.
Tell him, Marion.
Well, you know those big those big square trash things
that they have at the supermarket?
They're always way in the back there, you know,
and then once a week, uh usually Saturday,
they just put them up there in the driveway
for the big trash truck to empty it.
Yeah. So?
So today is Saturday.
I don't understand.
Hi, Rich.
Did Mom tell you that she wrecked your car?
Wrecked my car?
It's just a dent, just a little dent. Dent?
Well, a big dent but your car will be ready on Monday.
Monday? I need it today.
I told the guys we were gonna use it.
Dad, she wrecked my car. It's
all right. You can borrow my car.
The DeSoto.
Oh, Richard, I am so sorry.
If I had just used your father's car
this would never have happened.
That's right.
We'd be having omelets now.
That's my favorite.
You gotta be joking.
Look at this.
Just perfect, Rich, just perfect.
Why didn't you just rent a hearse.
It's not the car that gets the girls,
it's the men driving it.
But it helps if the men
are driving a car instead of a steamship.
Take it easy, Ralph.
Hey, guys, the girl magnet is here.
Let's get movin', huh?
All right.
Why isn't your dad at work?
He is at work.
What's his car doing here?
This is what we're cruising in.
Are you kiddin'?
Who cruises in a family car?
Richie and his two dumb buddies.
Look, guys, this is what we're stuck with;
so let's make the best of it, all right?
Come on, it's not that bad.
It's good, Rich, it's good.
Well, think of it as a challenge.
Look, this way we'll know that the girls don't like us
just for our car.
Okay, okay. Let's hit the road and win that bet, okay?
Let's win that bet.
All right. Come on, let's go!
Come on, Ralph.
Well, it does have a good backseat.
Eastchester, here we come!
All right.
They're the brainy type.
They're reading magazines.
Yeah, but they're reading Confidential.
That means they're hot to trot.
Do you think they noticed us?
Probably. We drove by them four times.
Maybe if we drive around them another 500 times,
they'll throw themselves in front of the car
and beg us to pick them up.
You know, Potsie's right.
The next time we go by we ought to talk to 'em.
But let me do the talking.
I've got a line that'll make 'em flip.
Come on, Potsie, you said you weren't
gonna be crude this time.
I'll use my classy approach. It never fails.
Hey, baby, want to get lucky?
Drop dead.
Got 'em eating out of your hand, Pots!
You know, it's gonna be cold
running around Arnold's in our underwear.
So, we'll wear earmuffs.
Hey, there they are.
They're still there.
That means they're interested.
Okay, Rich, your shot.
Something bright and witty.
I can't drive and operate at the same time.
Drive, Potsie. You got it.
Come on, Rich.
Miss, excuse me.
Hi.
I was wondering if you could settle a bet
that my friends and I have.
See, we each bet five bucks
on what flavor lipstick you're wearing.
Potsie thinks it's strawberry
and Ralph thinks it's raspberry
and well, I think it's cherry.
Which is it?
Well, why don't you figure it out for yourself.
Strawberry.
Look, it's not cool.
I know cool and this is not cool.
Sure it is.
Wanda Dailey lives out here in Eastchester
and you said she used to be ape for you.
Come on, you're in the area.
You practically owe her a call.
Come on.
Okay.
But like I told you guys,
Crazy Wanda probably won't
want to call any girls for you guys
because she's afraid they'll fall for me.
She's very jealous.
Right, just talk to her.
Hello, Wanda. Ralph Malph.
That's right.
It's me Mr. Sexy.
She's dying to see me.
Listen, Wanda, take it easy, take it easy.
Wanda, I'm out here with a couple of buddies.
I was wondering if you could fix them up?
You can't?
Too bad.
Wait a minute.
What'd she say?
"When you hear the tone the time will be 4:18."
Some make-out artist, Ralph.
Pardon me
Watch out. This is the chick with the lipstick.
Hey, I'm sorry about that.
It was just that smooth suave line you threw.
I was just trying to cover up.
I was shy.
Can one of you guys give me some help?
Huh?
Take your pick.
You'll do.
The lock on my apartment door is jammed
and my parents aren't home.
Do you think you can help me?
Are you kidding?
They call me Hercules Weber.
There hasn't been a door made I can't break down.
Oh, well, I don't want it broken down, just un-jammed.
I'll restrain myself.
Good. Come on.
The kid has done it again.
Don't wait up.
She's a regular Jekyll and Hyde.
I don't get it.
Two red-headed Greek gods
she picks Potsie Weber.
Maybe she feels sorry for him.
No. She doesn't know him the way we do.
Potsie must be doing okay.
Well, I don't know, Rich.
He's been gone half an hour.
It takes about two seconds to break a door down.
Of course he's doing okay.
Yeah.
You want another soda?
This is my fourth one.
I'm gettin' kind of full.
Come here, come here.
What? What?
There's three girls in there and
one of them just winked at me.
I can't see anybody.
Never mind, never mind.
I'll just go in there and put on the old Malphie baby charm.
I'll be right back with three honeys.
It will be my dream come true.
Yeah.
No, no, you stay here.
You might with no.
Hey, Rich!
Pots, you got here just in time.
Ralph found these three terrific chicks!
Aw, forget about that.
Why? Well after I unjammed Hildie's door,
two of her friends came over.
That made three of them.
Good arithmetic, Pots.
Well, I got to thinking Three of them, three of us.
Right over there.
I'm the best.
Rich! Rich!
Rich, I got them!
They'll go out with us!
Two for me, and one for you and Potsie.
Oh! Okay, I won't get my dream come true.
Only one girl.
Potsie brought three girls with him.
More girls? You got more girls?!
First, we don't got enough, now we got too many!
Not so loud. You'll embarrass me.
Okay.
♪♪
♪♪
Great for what?
Great for You know.
Oh, yeah, when it comes to "you knowing,"
I'm the best. You know?
Well, well, well.
Three cute little punks trying to move in on our chicks.
If you guys start walking now,
you might make it home in time to graduate.
Oh, no, no.
You see, we can't leave this car here
because this is my father's car.
Well, then he can come pick it up.
He didn't try to make time with our chicks. You guys did.
Hey, now, don't get mad on my account, Denny Dooley.
If you and the other guys thought that we were your girls,
how come you didn't ask us out tonight?
I told you, Hildie, we had to see this guy
about doing a little drag racing.
And I have to think about my love life!
If you and the Dragons are, uh too busy,
we'll just have to find other more interesting guys.
Me interesting? I'm dull.
Actually, they call me Dull Potsie.
Now, Dooley here, he's interesting.
All right, Dull Potsie, start walking,
and take your dull friends with you.
Oh, right, sir. Anything you say, sir.
Come on, dull friends.
Uh Mr. Dooley, I was wondering
Well, actually I was praying
That you would forget this whole affair.
Uh-huh.
Hey, Fonz!
Hey! Fonzie's the best!
Glad you came, Fonz! Terrific!
Hey! Naturally, naturally, huh?
I come out here looking for a loudmouth named Dooley.
I see three guys here playing toughie.
Who's Dooley, huh?
I am.
Oh, hiya, Dooley.
Hey, you came just in time, Fonz.
I was just about ready to tell this guy off.
Hey, drop dead.
Hey, that's brilliant, Dooley.
How do you think them up so fast?
All right, now, what's goin' on here, huh?
Well, he Let Cunningham tell me, huh?
He'll keep it brief.
See, we went out cruising,
and we sort of ran into these three girls here.
And Dooley and his dumb Dragons were too busy
playing with their kiddie car,
so Judy and Terry and I decided
to go out with some real men.
Right. And then Dooley and his finks
tried to lay their hooks in them,
as if a D.A. stood a chance against my dimples.
Except yours, Fonz.
It would beat my dimples hands down.
Yeah, right, right, right.
We're going to figure this out the easy way here.
You're supposed to be
the greatest drag racer in the world?
Greased lightning.
Yeah. Okay. Why don't you take this hot rod of yours,
get it ready, huh? We'll do the same.
We'll give you a chance to prove it.
Hey, you going to race me, Fonzarelli?
Well, I was going to, but I only race big time, see,
so I'm going to let
Cunningham here race you.
All right, the winner gets the chicks.
Me, Fonz?
You just get this hot rod ready to roll.
We'll do the same, huh?
And I'll meet you at the uh
ball bearing warehouse at 11:00.
Can you make it?
Oh, the Dragons will be there.
Wait a minute.
You see, Fonz, I only have my dad's DeSoto.
What? Hey, Fonzie, you been inhaling gas fumes or something?
This sardine can couldn't make
it downhill without a tow truck.
I hope you drive cuter than you talk.
Hey, Noodles, will you listen up?
All right, now bring me the milled heads
and the dual carbs, right?
And go over and get Wingy and Spider.
And do me a favor Just burn rubber.
Don't ask me why!
Just burn rubber!
Trust.
Oh, I trust you, Fonz. I I trust you.
I just don't think I can win any race with this car.
Hey, I got faith in you, huh?
You want a soda?
Give him some money. He's thirsty.
Oh, Richie's right.
The DeSoto couldn't finish first in a demolition derby.
You're absolutely right. Not in the shape it's in.
But who's to say it's going
to stay in this particular shape?
Fonz, you wouldn't hurt my dad's car, would you?
Rich trust.
Oh, I I will. I will.
All right.
It's getting kind of late, isn't it, Fonz?
Hey, we're right on schedule.
Malph, get out of my box.
Here it is.
I told you it was going to be a challenge. Great.
You guys know what to do.
Fonz, what are those guys going to do?
I mean, this is my dad's motor.
When those guys are finished with that rod,
it's going to make drag racing history.
You know, I never raced before.
Supposing I crack up?
I mean, my parents are going to be very upset.
They'll ground me for who knows how long?
It could be months.
Richie, you crack up in that rod,
there ain't going to be nothing left of you to punish.
All right, let's get this over with here, huh?
Hey, Dooley, huh?
You want to say good-bye to your chicks now?
'Cause you don't want to see them
cryin' their little hearts out when you lose later.
Just worry about your pals, Fonzarelli.
Wipe him out, Richie!
We'll be waiting for you.
Won't we, girls?
Aw, that did it!
Throw the flag, Fonzarelli.
You guys better run for cover.
Get in there, boy! You can do it!
Drive for us, huh?
Mow them down! Go, baby! Wipe them!
Win me, win me, win me, win me!
I will, I will, I will!
All right, start your engines.
Okay, okay, okay. You won.
Yeah? Great.
Now get off my turf!
Hey, what do we have here?
Poor sportsmanship.
What's the matter?
You don't get the candy-coated trophy? Huh?
That was terrific, Cunningham.
Piece of cake.
Come to Potsie, baby. We won.
Congratulations, and get lost!
Get lost? I thought you wanted us to win.
Nah. We just wanted to get our guys jealous.
All right, let's get out of here.
Why?
Come on. Come on. Let's get out of here.
But I raced the car. I risked my life.
But she's crazy about me, Fonz.
Let me tell you something, guys.
You might be too young to understand this,
but you've been used.
Now, on the other hand, you won.
Yeah.
Well, I'm going back there and fight for my girl.
Who's with me, huh?
Who's with me?!
Thanks a lot.
Hey! Hey, guys!
Nice car you got here.
Should have won.
Look at this.
The whole town is here.
What time is it?
11:58.
Maybe Bag won't show up.
He showed up. He showed up.
Well, guys, how did you do?
Are you kidding, Bag?
How did we do?
The truth.
We struck out.
I thought so.
Undress.
Where did you get those?
I figured we were going to lose.
Me, too.
Look at those legs!
Red hair, too. Wow!
You thought I was a fake?
Well, I hope you're happy, Bag.
Arnold banned us from his place for a week.
Yeah. He said there's no room for obscenity
in a family restaurant.
You guys are really nerds!
What do you mean?
Mary Anne stood me up, so I struck out, too.
Get his clothes! Come on!
What are you doing?
Come on! No!
Are you sleeping, Richard?
No, Mom. Come on in.
Did you have a good time tonight?
Yeah. It was all right.
The body shop called just after you left,
and your car will be ready at 3:00 on Monday.
Oh, that's good. Thanks.
Mom?
Can I go get some milk?
I thought you went to the slumber party.
Oh, I did, but I got sleepy.
Go down, get the milk, then right to bed.
Okay.
Is Dad still asleep?
He got up right when you came in.
You didn't put the car in the garage.
Oh, see, I I have to take it over
to Fonzie's garage in the morning.
Well, you know your father and that car.
So he went down to put it in.
Dad!
What was that, dear?
It it
What a day, rockin' all week with you ♪
This day is ours ♪
These are such Happy Days. ♪
Hello, sunshine, good-bye, rain ♪
She's wearing my school ring on her chain ♪
She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, Happy Days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, Happy Days ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪