Happy's Place (2024) s02e16 Episode Script

1
OK, I just want to say something
before Steve comes in here
with the weekly numbers.
You have the floor.
You're wearing it out, but you have it.
I just want to remind us
that we said it would take time
for the speakeasy gets going, you know?
- I remember.
- Mm-hmm.
'Cause I said it.
And it's only been open a week.
[CHUCKLES] And look at
the fun we're having already.
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
I finished my report.
Wait. Do I have time to throw up?
No, because if you throw
up, then I'll have to throw up.
No, no, no, no.
She's a little nervous.
OK, then let me just get to it.
The speakeasy did
OK.
OK?
Is that good?
I got a haircut once, and
my mom said it looked OK.
Then she bought me a hat.
We lost a little money.
Look, I'm sorry.
I promise I'll make it up next week.
Oh, honey, that's so sweet.
And also impossible.
I believe in your vision.
And if it'll make you feel any better,
I could maybe look
around for some savings.
Are you talking about one of
your famous poke-arounds?
What's a poke-around?
It's when I scour the tavern.
It's kind of like cleaning,
but instead of looking for dirt,
I'm looking for money.
He's great at it.
It's one of the benefits
of having an accountant
that's also a financial genius.
I wouldn't call myself a genius.
But you did, so yeah.
[LAUGHS] Great.
Oh, and while you're doing that,
I'll talk to some of our suppliers,
see if we can get some discounts.
Great, and while you
guys are doing that,
I could sell my plasma.
You'd get more for a kidney.
What? I'm a financial genius.
Sometimes it feels
like a big ol' fight ♪
To get through the day ♪
And sleep on through the night ♪
But here you'll find a place ♪
That'll surely lift your spirits ♪
You belong at Happy's Place ♪
Oh, Steve, you are never
going to believe what
Tall Cathy said last night
Gabby, I must stop you.
Even though I love gossip
and Tall Cathy is a mess
[WHISPERS] Yes.
I can't. I'm doing a poke-around.
[GASPS] How exciting!
You haven't done
one of those in a while.
Takoda, Steve is doing a poke-around.
Ooh, fun.
Has he found anything?
Oh, not yet, but he's got that look.
He is on to something.
Gabby, after you've used
the orange peels for garnishes,
what happens to the fruit?
Take it out back and I whack it
with that golf club I
found in the dumpster.
Just
[POPS LIPS]
What you're whacking is money.
I'd like you to start juicing these.
Then we can cut back on our costs
for orange juice for the mimosas.
Steve, how do you keep
finding stuff after all these years?
Eh, it's a gift, but
it's still not enough.
Ooh, check my side work.
Maybe there's something here.
Move.
Hey!
Uh-huh.
Do you remember when
Bobbie had you come in
to refinish the tabletops?
Where is he going with this?
If I'm not mistaken, Takoda,
you used Dr. Orville's
Clear Gloss Varnish, right?
For a finish that you can trust.
So let's trust it.
Ditch the coasters.
I'm not picking those up.
I'll get them later.
[SIGHS] But it's still not enough.
It's just peanuts!
And I've already got rid of the peanuts!
Too bad there's not someone
who could do your savings magic on you.
Oh, that's right, Steve. You need a you.
There's still money to be found.
To the basement!
Watch out for spiders.
Not to the basement.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Hey, have you ever been to a music venue
called the Open Court?
Why? What have you heard?
Because they didn't throw me out.
I left on my own.
In the company of bouncers.
OK, well, Monica sent me
a text about a blues festival
they're having there next weekend.
- Hmm.
- Looks like a good time, huh?
Yeah.
Oh, wait I'm sorry, wait.
Uh, so when did she send you that text?
Uh, couple hours ago.
Uh-huh. And?
And what?
Well, when are you gonna text her back?
I'm not.
Emmett, so you don't
want to go to the festival?
What? No, I do.
I'm gonna see her Wednesday,
so I'll just tell her then.
You're going to leave
that woman in the dark
for three days not knowing
what's up and what's down?
[SIGHS]
I didn't think about it like that.
Yeah. Let me explain this to you
in a way I think that
you're going to understand.
Texting is like ping-pong.
You wouldn't not hit a ball back, right?
So you just got a ping,
and now, it is your turn to pong.
- That actually makes sense.
- Mm.
All right, I'm gonna go pong her.
Maybe we don't say it like that.
OK, ladies.
Happy's Place has
officially been poked around.
You are gonna want to stand up for this.
Isn't the expression
"you're gonna want
to sit down for this?"
You can't give someone
a standing ovation
if you're sitting down.
Wait, are are you
saying you found enough
to cover the speakeasy
losses for the week?
Oh, honey, I found enough
to cover the speakeasy losses
for a year.
Oh, honey! Are you serious?
Have I told you that I
love you more than anyone
in the whole wide world?
Like I said, the man can find
a dime hiding inside a nickel.
Mm.
But really, I didn't think
there was a lot left to cut.
Not really. Nothing small.
That's why on this
poke-around, I went big.
[SIGHS] Listen to him, "I went big."
He's amazing.
I love him more than anyone
in the whole wide world.
Well, don't keep us in suspense.
What's this big way to cut the budget?
You are going to fire me!
So you want me to save money
by firing the man who saves me money?
That's such a bad idea,
I ought to fire you for it.
Bobbie, the only place the
poke-around hasn't poked around
is with me.
Oh, sweet Steve.
Offering to sacrifice himself
to keep me from feeling like a failure.
No. I mean, I like you, but
So why are you saying this?
Because this is a move
the tavern will eventually have to make.
I've been tracking this
revolution for a while.
What revolution?
AI.
AI?
The thing that made the video
of the Pope dunking a basketball?
[LAUGHING] Oh, I saw that
There are new AI accounting models
that can do everything I do.
Not interested.
I'm not walking in here
and seeing a computer
sitting in your chair
putting on hand sanitizer.
You pay me to give you
good financial advice,
and that's what this is.
You have to let me
show you what's available
- and you have to consider it.
- Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
Is he serious?
With money, Steve's always serious.
Fortunately, this time,
he's also full of crap.
There's no way a computer
can do what he does around here.
Well, apparently, Steve thinks it can.
So what are we gonna do?
Oh, honey.
Then I guess we're just going to have to
find a way to prove him wrong.
- Hey, Gabby. [SIGHS]
- Hey.
Thanks again for helping me out earlier.
I, uh, texted Monica back and
I feel pretty good about it.
Aw, well, it is thanks enough
just seeing that little smile
peeking through the
bushes of your goatee.
Ah.
So what'd you text her?
"Sounds good."
Oh.
OK, um
[CHUCKLING] Mm.
Uh, I mean, you used
some fun punctuation, right?
I did. I put a period at the end.
Wow. [CHUCKLES] OK.
OK, OK, OK.
Oh, Emmett!
It is like you basically just told her
to go straight to hell.
What? No, I didn't.
Emmett.
In person, your dispassionate
grunts possess a certain charm.
In text,
you're a psychopath.
I can't change the
kind of guy I am, Gabby.
I'm not a words guy.
Of course.
You know, what? And
you don't have to be.
You can be an emojis guy.
No, I don't think so.
I barely know what those are.
"Emoji" comes from the
Latin derivative "emote"
because they express emote-ions.
OK.
So what do you want
to express to Monica?
[SIGHS] I don't know.
Uh, I like blues
and I don't want her
to go straight to hell.
[CHUCKLING] Mm, easy.
I am thinking that we do
not now!
Um
yellow heart,
little guy with a guitar,
and ice cube emoji.
All right. You're the expert.
Well, I really am.
I don't wanna brag,
but I have not been texted
back hundreds of times.
[NOTIFICATION CHIMES]
Oh, what'd she say?
Uh, looks like a little
man with frostbite
and a sloppy guy with
his tongue hanging out.
Is that, uh is that good?
Oh, Emmett.
It's great.
I don't understand.
You told Steve you didn't want to use
the AI program he showed
you, but you bought it anyway?
No, they let you try it for free.
Because they think one
taste, and you'll be hooked.
Kind of like with pretzels.
Dang, now I want pretzels.
So how are we going to prove
to Steve that he's better than it?
Well, he saved us a
ton on last year's taxes.
Let's see what AI would have saved us.
OK. Where's our financial file?
OK.
That file right there, the
one that says Dog Pictures.
Quick question.
Why is it labeled Dog Pictures?
Security.
If someone hacks my computer,
they're not going to open a
folder that says Dog Pictures.
Well, unless they like dogs.
Click on it. What's it say now?
Cat Pictures.
Yeah, if someone likes dogs,
they're not gonna want to be
seeing a bunch of cat pictures.
I thought this through, Isabella.
Game over, hackers.
- There you go.
- Psh, yeah.
- [CHUCKLES]
- OK. Uh, our financial file.
OK. Now, open the AI minion from hell.
You know, this looks
pretty simple to do.
- Very user-friendly.
- Mm-hmm.
Hello there.
I'm the Money Fairy.
It talks like a person.
I thought it would
[IMITATES ROBOT]
Sound like this when it talked.
Are we ready to get started?
Please, input your files.
OK. It looks like I put
the spreadsheet in here.
That's correct. You're doing great.
Aw. Well, thank you.
Stop eating the pretzels.
Task received. Thanks.
You bet.
Good luck.
Yeah, I hope you didn't
make any plans for tonight.
I have completed the task.
Oh, honey.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
You wanted to see me?
I did.
You're gonna want to sit down for this.
OK.
We used your AI model to
see how it would have done
on last year's taxes compared to you.
You tried it out?
- Uh-huh.
- And?
And unfortunately
you kicked its butt!
Yeah, maybe we should
start calling it A-with-a-black-I.
[LAUGHS]
A black eye. [LAUGHS]
Good one.
OK. I see what happened.
It puts some of the
categories on the wrong fields.
Oh!
Nice going, dumbass!
Yeah.
I can't have an AI accountant
make those kind of mistakes.
- Hit the road, heifer!
- [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
It'll learn and it'll never
make that mistake again.
Well, we like the guy that
currently has the job, so
You have to listen to me.
This is what the world is becoming.
Your competitors will embrace this.
They will save money,
they will lower their prices,
they will put you out of business.
This is the future.
I think we'll be fine.
This tavern has to survive!
When I came here,
I didn't fit anywhere
else, but I fit here,
and I'm gonna make sure
that this tavern remains
for the next person that
needs a place to fit in.
Steve, you're a very
important part of this place.
Thank you, Bobbie.
But I'm not.
I'm the numbers guy.
I'm the thing that's replaceable.
Not to me.
I'd miss you.
Me too.
I'll still be coming around.
I'll definitely still be using
my employee discount.
This is for the best.
I have corrected my mistake.
- Shut up, heifer!
- Shut up, heifer!
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
[NOTIFICATION CHIMES]
[NOTIFICATION CHIMES]
- [SIGHS]
- [NOTIFICATION CHIMES]
Takoda, I need you in the kitchen!
[NOTIFICATION CHIMES]
Now!
Do you need me to cover the grill?
No, I need you to cover my phone.
I'm in the weeds with Monica.
Send a confetti emoji.
What?
I don't know. Just do it.
[NOTIFICATION CHIMES]
She sent back a picture of a truck.
- I don't know if it's hers or
- It it it doesn't matter.
You know what?
Just send back a big red
exclamation point emoji.
[NOTIFICATION CHIMES]
"Cutest thing ever."
[SIGHS] Send an exploding head emoji.
[NOTIFICATION CHIMES]
She sent back a cartoon version
of herself riding a unicycle?
What?
Burgers and fries!
Burgers and fries, sent.
- No, that was to Gabby.
- Sorry.
No, it's fine. Just go.
I mean [SIGHS]
I should have never
pulled you into this.
[NOTIFICATION CHIMES]
Go.
Save yourself!
Exploding head emoji.
[ROCK MUSIC]
Follow me, but don't make it obvious.
Lock it.
Steve, you were right.
This software is amazing.
It does learn.
You did it, Steve.
[SIGHS] This is the future.
Oh, did you know that you can ask it
for more ways to save money?
Money Fairy, did you
like giving us suggestions?
Yes, and I have lots of
other ideas to talk about.
Oh, that's OK.
We have plenty, my
little, helpful electronic box.
Has she told you how she can link
customer orders to the inventory
so reorders are automatic?
No, but she did tell us
how to get rid of Takoda.
[SQUEALS]
What? What what
are you talking about?
Oh, she showed us how people can order
directly from their phone,
so we can get rid of all
our waiters and waitresses.
You can't get rid of Takoda!
Well, tell it to the future.
'Cause Tinkerbell
here says he ain't in it.
- Oh, same for Gabby.
- Mm-hmm.
Gabby?
You're not going to have
a bartender in your bar?
She showed us an AI bartending machine.
She says payroll savings
pay for it in less than a year.
And they don't give away drinks
when they're flirting with customers.
- Oh, yeah.
- [LAUGHTER]
You cannot be serious about this.
[LAUGHS]
Of course we're not!
But she is.
She's coming for all of us,
but we refuse to eat her pretzels!
Steve, you said you're a numbers person.
Is that all you think
you are around here?
What else am I?
A huge part of this family.
The best family in the whole wide world.
Yeah, I know that.
I do.
That's why I would do
anything to protect it.
This is where the world is headed.
This is coming.
Then let it come.
And when it does, they'll find us,
a family, doing what we love.
Yeah, here was AI's
other big savings idea:
close the speakeasy.
But you said you believed in my vision.
Because you're not a numbers guy.
You're a human being
who's great at numbers.
You're stuck with us, bub.
I'm so relieved.
I didn't know where the
hell I was going to go.
[LAUGHS]
Well, get out there and save your seat
before some computer tries to steal it.
Ooh, let's go watch Gabby
flirt and give out drinks.
Even though it never works?
- Yes.
- Fun!
So cute.
[LAUGHS]
- Bobbie.
- [SHOUTS]
What do you want?
What you said to Steve was very sweet.
Oh. Well, thanks.
Nice of you to say that.
You and I don't need the rest of them.
Be gone, demon!
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Beautiful night, huh?
Is it?
Everything work out with the texting?
No, I don't know what's
going on anymore.
What do you mean?
[SIGHS] We've exchanged so many emojis
and G-I-Fs,
I've lost track of what
we're talking about.
Hey.
Do you remember when I told you
that you were charming in person?
You mean with my dispassionate grunts?
Yeah, those.
- Yep.
- Very charming.
You may not think you're a
words guy, Emmett, but you are.
You don't use a lot of them,
but they always sound
honest.
Well, thank you.
Let me see your phone for a second.
- [GROANS]
- Trust me.
There's something cool
that you can do on it.
It's kind of old-school, like you.
Mm. It's ringing.
[CLEARS THROAT] Hey, Monica.
Yeah.
Uh, listen, can I be honest with you?
I'm just not a texter.
Yes!
Oh, right.
They're the worst. Ever!
Oh, well, I know.
I know.
Hey, you remember call waiting?
Oh, yeah.
Well, those were the good days.