Happy Days (1974) s02e17 Episode Script
The Howdy Doody Show
1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
What's wrong, Rich?
I don't want that Mark Summers guy to see us.
Hey, Cunningham! Ever since they named him
editor of the paper, he's been on my back.
Me, too. Every time I hand in a story
he says, "Do you call yourself a newspaper man?"
Me, too.
Cunningham!
You call yourself a newspaper man?
You're the worst reporter on the Bugle staff.
I mean, I can forgive Weber here because,
well, because he's Weber.
Thanks, Chief.
Cunningham why?
Why, when that fire broke out in the Home Ec class,
were you on the other side of the school
interviewing the librarian?
I mean, let's face it, let's face it,
you just don't have a nose for news.
Or for smoke.
I'm gonna give you one more shot at it, Cunningham.
If you blow it, you're off the paper.
Boy, does he have it in for you, Rich.
I know. He never forgave me for depantsing him
in the sixth grade.
I'm gonna write the best story he ever read.
What're you gonna write about?
Joanne Jaworsky splitting the seam on her gym trunks?
No, better. When I rush in with this story,
Mark Summers is gonna yell, "Hold the mimeo."
What're you gonna write about?
The Howdy Doody Show is in town.
I know that.
I'm gonna interview Howdy Doody.
Well, how're you gonna do that?
I'm gonna pull a few strings.
Hey! Greetings!
Richard.
What're you so excited about?
He probably had a date with Fast Alice.
All the guys look like that
when they have a date with Fast Alice.
Oh? Richard, I don't think you should date this Fast Alice.
Don't worry, Mom, I'm not.
I have to do an interview for the school paper.
Oh, well, why don't you do an interview of your old dad?
You could call it "Dialogue with a Common Man."
Or you could call it "Dialogue with a Chubby Man."
That's not funny, Marion.
I'll have you know, I lost two pounds this week.
Richard, you know I'm in the hardware business
and hardware is a vital link in the chain of America.
Dad, I can't do a story about you.
I'm gonna interview Bob Smith and Howdy Doody.
You mean you'd rather interview a dummy than me?
And don't you say what you're thinking, Marion.
Joanie, tomorrow you're gonna present
that Junior Chipmunk of the Year award
to Howdy Doody, right?
Yeah. We present it to every celebrity
that comes to Milwaukee.
This is the sixth one this year.
Last week we gave it to Durward Kirby.
Right. Well, is it all right if I come down to the station
and get some interviews?
Sure, but when we get to the studio,
don't cramp my style.
Ow! Mom.
The hem, not me.
Ralph on the ten-yard line. First down.
Come on, let's go, let's go.
50, down to the 30.
Second down. Poor shot.
Oh.
One more. Come on. Last down.
Oh! The 20-yard line.
Takes over on the 30. The 30.
Okay. I still can't believe it, Rich,
an interview with Buffalo Bob and Howdy.
What luck! I watch 'em every day.
Well, I just went down to the station
and got it cleared. I'm going over there
with my folks tomorrow.
Field goal. Field goal attempt.
Oh, good! Okay!
Right down the center.
You gotta get me an autograph of Howdy.
After Red Buttons, he's my favorite.
He's a puppet. He can't write.
Then get me a splinter.
Oh, no good, no good. No Too bad.
Okay, you recover.
Cunningham takes over on the 20.
20-yard line.
No man.
I'm winning. I'm winning 20.
Hey, what you guys talking about?
Howdy Doody.
Well, la-dee-da.
You're talking about Howdy Doody.
Not me, Fonz. Hey, do you think I'd waste my time
talking about a dumb puppet?
Let's go outside and check out the chicks, Fonz.
No, no later.
I'm fascinated about what you little guys
are talking about here about Howdy.
Oh, Rich was gonna interview.
Howdy and Buffalo Bob for the school paper.
Well, while you're down there,
why don't you interview Clarabelle?
Oh, Clarabelle doesn't talk.
He just honks his horn.
You never know when you're gonna score.
Clarabelle just might give you an exclusive honk.
That's Hey, that's a good one, Fonz.
They say I got the gift of mirth.
Hey, do you guys know
that nobody outside the show has ever
seen Clarabelle without makeup?
Where did you hear that, Malph
From one of your comic books?
Oh, no.
It's just something the kid sister mentioned.
Aw, Fonz, let's go outside and check out some chicks.
Sure. And if you bomb out,
you can always tell 'em how many strings Howdy has.
Another good one, Fonz, another good one.
Get a grip, Malph.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
I'm gonna get the biggest exclusive
that this paper has ever had.
Sure, Rich. What're you gonna tell 'em?
Art Linkletter doesn't interview kids?
It's really midgets that say the darndest things?
No, Pots, this is gonna be a biggie.
Rich, Milwaukee doesn't have any biggies.
Yes, it does.
I'm gonna get an exclusive photo
of Clarabelle, the Clown What exclusive?
Rich, do you call yourself a newspaper man?
Without makeup.
Rich, you're a newspaper man.
Yeah.
Say, kids, what time is it?
Howdy Doody Time!
Let's go!
Now, don't be nervous, dear.
Oh, I'm not.
Why should I be nervous?
Boy, do I envy you
Being seen on national television
by millions of people.
Millions? Of people?
Before we start, let me remind all the kids
about tomorrow's big Howdy Doody look-alike contest.
Do you think there's somebody out there
who actually looks likes me?
Well, Howdy, we're gonna find out tomorrow,
but you know today is an extra-special day for us.
Well, why is that, Buffalo Bob?
Well, the Junior Chipmunks have named you
the Chipmunk of the Year
and little Joanie Cunningham
is going to be here to present to you this award.
Oh, that's terrific, Buffalo Bob!
And say, kids, are you ever gonna love this?
Yes, sir, Aunt Jennie's peanut butter cakes.
It's a soft, velvety sponge cake
and it's wrapped around
a big filling of creamy peanut butter.
Oh, boy, they sure look good, Buffalo Bob.
Oh, it is good, Howdy,
and I'm gonna have one right now.
Mm, is that ever great.
Mm. And now
Now kids here's Joanie Cunningham
of the Junior Chipmunks.
Come on out here, Joanie.
Joanie Cunningham. Hi, Joanie.
Say hi to Howdy, Joanie.
Honey, there's no reason to be frightened.
We're all right here with you, Joanie and
Has the cat got your tongue?
Aw, come on, honey, why don't you relax
and have a bite of Aunt Jennie's peanut butter cakes.
No, thanks. My mom says it'll give me cavities.
Oh, but you won't get cavities
if you brush your teeth after every meal.
Right, Buffalo Bob?
Right, Howdy. Oh
and you have an award for us, don't you?
Oh, fine. Okay, would you like to read it?
Or-or would you like to have me read it?
Here, I'll, I'll, I'll read it.
Now, you hold the cookie and I'll re
Here. I Thank you.
"We, the members of Den Seven
"of the Junior Chipmunks present you, Howdy Doody,
"with the Chipmunk of the Year award
for the good things you do on television."
Oh, boy, this is just about the best thing
that ever happened to me, Buffalo Bob.
Uh, well, Joanie Cunningham
and all you wonderful Junior Chipmunks out there,
Howdy's certainly proud to be selected by you
as Chipmunk of the Year.
Okay, we'll see you again real soon.
Thank you, Joanie.
You can go now, sweetie.
Thank you. All right.
Well, we're certainly going to keep this and
You know, you can leave now, honey. Thank you.
And you come back and see us real soon.
Maybe your mother should come and take you.
Mrs. Cunningham, thank you very much.
You have a darling, darling daughter.
Thank you so much.
Okay. Well now
Maybe Daddy uh
Father, would you come and get your stage-struck family?
Hello. Hi, Mr. Cunningham.
H-How do you do?
Nice to see you, sir.
Joanie, Marion, come along.
Oh, maybe Clarabelle'll help.
Oh, Clarabelle!
Oh, here's Clarabelle.
Well, hi, Clarabelle.
Hey, kids
Oh, who's the funniest clown you know? ♪
Clarabelle! ♪
Oh, who's the clown on Howdy's show? ♪
Clarabelle! ♪
I got that picture of Clarabelle developed for you.
Pots, you're the greatest.
We're gonna make Mark Summers eat crow.
Really. I'll tell you it wasn't easy.
I had to sneak past the guard,
hide behind Phineas T. Bluster's trunk
till the coast was clear.
I went up to Clarabelle's dressing room,
threw open the door
Presto, I got the picture.
You see, that? He got the picture.
What did he do then?
He pulled on his pants.
I gotta look at this.
Look at that focus, huh?
Look at that.
We can't use this picture.
The man's naked.
Well, doesn't your school paper have a centerfold?
Whoa.
What's wrong, Rich?
We can't even use his face.
He's still got his makeup on.
How could you make a mistake like this?
How was I to know he was gonna take his pants off first?
Besides, a naked Clarabelle's
a better scoop than one with makeup.
We gotta get another picture.
I promised Mark Summers a big story.
He's holding page one.
We just gotta get another picture.
You're going to an awful lot of trouble
just to show up Mark Summers.
I'm not trying to show up anybody.
I want to go to college. I want to study journalism.
I want to work on a newspaper.
I gotta prove to myself that I can do a job.
Well, you better wait till after college.
We don't have any tickets and they won't
let us in the studio without 'em.
Hey. Rich, Rich, I got it.
What if Joanie gives 'em
another Chipmunk of the Year award?
Use your noggin.
Tell 'em it's for next year.
Cunningham!
Got that big page one scoop?
Cunningham, you're incompetent.
I'm telling you, you got two days
to come up with that big page one scoop
or you've seen your last byline in the Bugle.
You Weber.
"Weber."
Look, man, we gotta get that picture.
Well, you better think of another way
to get in the studio or you're gonna have
to think of another scoop.
The Howdy Doody contest.
What'd you say, Fonz?
They're having a Howdy Doody look-alike contest, right?
How'd you know about that?
I got my sources.
Anyway, you get some sucker to enter that contest
and you're in that studio, right?
Well, yeah, but who do we know who looks like Howdy Doody?
Yeah.
No, no, no.
You see, I'm gonna be taking the Clarabelle pictures.
I'm taking the picture.
Boy, do you hold a grudge.
Get Malph.
No. He, he, he never forgave us
for the time we entered Ralphina Malph
in the "Why I'd Like to Date Duane Eddy" Contest.
Yeah, but he won honorable mention.
Fonz?
Maybe you could get him to do it.
He looks up to you.
If you told him to do it, he'd do it.
Yeah, he'll do anything you say.
You're terrific. You're cool.
You're the greatest.
Will you stop snowin' me, huh?
Can't I help you out 'cause I'm a very close buddy?
Sure. Sure, Fonz.
Don't touch me, Weber.
We ain't that close.
Sure, Fonz.
Wait a minute, I got another one, I got another one.
Listen to this one.
Mommy, Mommy, why do I have such long teeth?
Shut up and drink your blood.
I got another one.
I got plenty, plenty.
Mommy, Mommy, what's a werewolf?
Shut up and comb your face.
Ralph, can I talk to you for a minute?
Not now, Rich, I'm hotter than Jerry Lester.
Daddy, Daddy, what's a degenerate?
Fonzie wants to talk to you.
Why didn't you tell me. Where is he?
He's in the bathroom.
You should have told me sooner.
I'll be right back, girls. The Fonz needs me.
How do I look? Do I look all right?
Oh, yeah. Good enough for the bathroom.
Yeah, Fonz, it's really a great shirt,
but why are you giving it to me?
It's your birthday present.
Yeah, Ralph.
Happy birthday.
A present? For me?
Oh, it's really nice.
I mean that's so nice.
Guys.
It's not my birthday.
I know that.
My birthday was last August.
Everybody punched me in the arm seventeen times.
It was the day you wore your big ring.
I remember.
Right, here's another present, Ralph.
Oh, Rich, I can't blow my nose in this.
It'll clash with my freckles.
No, no, no, this is a neckerchief.
Hey, huh.
Hold it a minute.
I look like Howdy Doody.
I am Howdy Doody.
Oh, no, oh, no, not this turkey.
I'm not entering any Howdy Doody contest.
Hey, what makes you think
that we're setting you up for that?
Because this outfit makes me look just like Howdy Doody.
Well, he's got us there, huh?
No, no. Go on.
Ralph, listen, you want to be in show business, right.
No. No, listen.
This could be your launching pad.
It's national television and you could tell your jokes.
Yeah? Yeah.
Snow job. Snow job.
No, wait a minute, Ralph, listen.
Listen, be a buddy.
I need your help because
I have to get a big scoop for the school newspaper.
Here's your scoop.
"Malph turns down contest bid."
I'll see you later.
I was one joke away from getting Jennie Lenbeck
and all the other girls up to Inspiration Point.
Hah!
Where we gonna get
another redheaded kid on such short notice?
Yeah.
It's Howdy Doody time ♪
It's Howdy Doody time ♪
Howdy Doody.
I look like I ought to be quarantined.
Oh, Richard, is it really worth it
to go to all this trouble just to get a picture?
Oh, Charles Bronson does it all
the time in "Man With A Camera."
You wouldn't have to go through
this if you'd interviewed me.
A picture of Clarabelle without
makeup is pretty hot stuff, Dad.
Yeah, well, there's someone in this room
who happens to think I'm pretty hot stuff.
Who is that, dear?
You guys are crazy.
Nobody has ever seen Clarabelle without makeup.
Joyce Miller told me that she read in a magazine
that he even sleeps in his clown face.
Well, come on, Rich, we gotta get goin', huh?
Yeah.
Well, how do I look?
Like a skinny Arthur Godfrey.
Boy, Buffalo Bob, am I excited.
Today we're doing the Milwaukee Preliminaries
to the Howdy Doody look-alike contest.
Yeah, me, too, Howdy.
Do you really think there's another kid
who really looks like me?
Why, sure there is.
Like our first contestant, Tommy Rhodes.
Hey, come on out, Tommy.
Hi, Tom.
Hey, you really look like Howdy.
Give Howdy a big hi.
Attaboy.
Okay, you can stand over there for a minute.
How about him, Howdy?
Well, he's almost a dead ringer.
Is there anybody else, Buffalo Bob?
Oh, sure there is, Howdy,
like our next contestant Leigh James.
Hi, Leigh.
Nice to see you.
How about her, Howdy?
Whoa, another closey, Buffalo Bob.
Boy, it's sure gonna be tough to pick a winner.
It sure is.
Okay, Leigh, you stand right next to Tommy.
And now here is our next Howdy
Doody look-alike, Danny Glass.
Come on in, Danny.
Okay, thank you, Danny.
Hey, Howdy, what do you think of Danny?
Gee, it's almost like looking into a mirror.
Yeah.
But now, hold on.
There's one more contestant.
Little Richie Cunningham.
Hi, Richie.
Uh, fine, Richie, you can go over there with the other kids.
Gee, Howdy, how about that Richie?
Gee, that's what I'll look like when I'm grown up.
Yeah, you're right.
All right. Well now let's pick a winner.
All right now, kids, I want you to applaud
for the one that you think looks most like Howdy Doody.
Now first it was Tommy Rhodes.
Or Leigh James.
Danny Glass.
Or little Richie Cunningham.
Hey, Rich, Rich. There he is.
Come on, get the picture.
A trip to Washington.
I don't know how that kid beat me.
This'll be the best scoop Jefferson High ever had.
Nobody ever said you were allowed to go
Why are you acting nuts? Get the picture.
All right.
This time I'm gonna get makeup off, pants on.
Cool it, cool it.
Oh, hi, Rich. Still here?
Yes, sir.
I've never been backstage at a television studio before.
Well, enjoy yourself.
And I'm sorry you didn't win, old bud.
If I'd a known that you were
Oh, thanks anyway.
All right. Have fun.
Try it again next year.
Thanks, fellas.
Bye, Mr. Bob.
Come on, you can see him in the mirror.
Get the picture.
Come on.
Come on, Rich, come on, let's go.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Right, I have the picture right here.
Right. All right.
Well, I'll let you know tomorrow.
Okay, thank you.
Bye.
I got it made, I got it made.
Could you hold off your "I got it made"
till a commercial comes on?
That was Life magazine.
They want to buy my picture of Clarabelle without makeup.
Well, congratulations.
They said they been trying to get Clarabelle
without makeup for years,
but the security at the New
York station was always too tough.
How did they know that you had a picture?
I don't know.
I guess Life knows everything, but they want to pay me $300.
You know, Rich, in my book
if Clarabelle doesn't have makeup, he's not Clarabelle.
My first professional sale.
To Life magazine.
You know, this could help me
get into a good journalism school
or maybe even get a scholarship.
Oh, I'll get it.
Hi.
Buffalo Bob, Clarabelle.
Hey, Buffalo Bob and Clarabelle Hey, Rich.
Nice to see you.
Welcome.
Good to see you.
Come in. Sit down. Thank you.
Come in and sit down.
Oh, what a lovely place.
Well, thank you.
Wow! Buffalo Bob and Clarabelle in my own house.
I'm gonna phone my friends and get 'em over here.
Okay, Joanie.
Well, what brings you to our humble house, huh?
Well a clown's broken heart.
He does look sad.
I guess you heard about my scoop.
You know Life magazine wants to buy this picture.
Richie there's a reason why nobody
has ever seen Clarabelle without makeup.
You see, behind that makeup he's Clarabelle the Clown
and there's sort of a mystique about him.
I don't get it.
Well, it's-it's like the Lone Ranger without a mask.
He's a nobody.
I see.
It's like Tarzan without his loin cloth.
No, that's a little different, Marion.
You see, millions of kids watch television
every day to see their favorite clown.
And to them this is Clarabelle.
Now if they were to see him
as an ordinary man
Clarabelle lives no more.
Yeah, but you see this is very important for me.
I mean this is Life magazine.
This could get me into a good journalism college.
Yeah.
And if it's printed it could ruin his career.
Richie, I know you worked hard
to get that picture and I guess you're entitled to sell it.
Rich, it's up to you.
Don't look at me, Richard.
Journalists have to make this kind of a decision every day.
That's what I would have done.
What's that?
Those are tears of joy.
Oh, tears of joy all over my living room rug.
Richie, you did a nice thing.
Yes, sir.
He's saying "Thank you."
Your welcome.
You're welcome.
No, now he's saying "good-bye." Oh, good-bye.
We've got to be on our way.
We gotta make a personal appearance.
Thanks so much, Mrs. Cunningham, you're great.
Mr. Cunningham, hope to see you real soon. Sure.
Richie, you are a great guy.
See you next time in Doodyville, okay?
Yeah, you can drive.
See you later.
Well Well, I better get the vacuum
and clean up these tears of joy.
Well, there goes my scoop.
Where's Clarabelle and Buffalo Bob?
They had to go.
They've gone?
I have 14 Chipmunks coming over to see them.
Hide the nuts, Marion.
What about my scoop?
Well, I guess your old man looks pretty good after all, huh?
Sit down.
I was born at the Milwaukee Columbia Hospital.
And everyone said I was a very cute baby.
No, wait a minute. Hold it.
Let's start before that.
My grandmother and grandfather,
they came to this country in about 1880.
Am I going too fast?
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪Oh, baby ♪
This day is ours Happy Days! ♪
Hello, sunshine, good-bye, rain ♪
She's wearing my school ring on her chain ♪
She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
What's wrong, Rich?
I don't want that Mark Summers guy to see us.
Hey, Cunningham! Ever since they named him
editor of the paper, he's been on my back.
Me, too. Every time I hand in a story
he says, "Do you call yourself a newspaper man?"
Me, too.
Cunningham!
You call yourself a newspaper man?
You're the worst reporter on the Bugle staff.
I mean, I can forgive Weber here because,
well, because he's Weber.
Thanks, Chief.
Cunningham why?
Why, when that fire broke out in the Home Ec class,
were you on the other side of the school
interviewing the librarian?
I mean, let's face it, let's face it,
you just don't have a nose for news.
Or for smoke.
I'm gonna give you one more shot at it, Cunningham.
If you blow it, you're off the paper.
Boy, does he have it in for you, Rich.
I know. He never forgave me for depantsing him
in the sixth grade.
I'm gonna write the best story he ever read.
What're you gonna write about?
Joanne Jaworsky splitting the seam on her gym trunks?
No, better. When I rush in with this story,
Mark Summers is gonna yell, "Hold the mimeo."
What're you gonna write about?
The Howdy Doody Show is in town.
I know that.
I'm gonna interview Howdy Doody.
Well, how're you gonna do that?
I'm gonna pull a few strings.
Hey! Greetings!
Richard.
What're you so excited about?
He probably had a date with Fast Alice.
All the guys look like that
when they have a date with Fast Alice.
Oh? Richard, I don't think you should date this Fast Alice.
Don't worry, Mom, I'm not.
I have to do an interview for the school paper.
Oh, well, why don't you do an interview of your old dad?
You could call it "Dialogue with a Common Man."
Or you could call it "Dialogue with a Chubby Man."
That's not funny, Marion.
I'll have you know, I lost two pounds this week.
Richard, you know I'm in the hardware business
and hardware is a vital link in the chain of America.
Dad, I can't do a story about you.
I'm gonna interview Bob Smith and Howdy Doody.
You mean you'd rather interview a dummy than me?
And don't you say what you're thinking, Marion.
Joanie, tomorrow you're gonna present
that Junior Chipmunk of the Year award
to Howdy Doody, right?
Yeah. We present it to every celebrity
that comes to Milwaukee.
This is the sixth one this year.
Last week we gave it to Durward Kirby.
Right. Well, is it all right if I come down to the station
and get some interviews?
Sure, but when we get to the studio,
don't cramp my style.
Ow! Mom.
The hem, not me.
Ralph on the ten-yard line. First down.
Come on, let's go, let's go.
50, down to the 30.
Second down. Poor shot.
Oh.
One more. Come on. Last down.
Oh! The 20-yard line.
Takes over on the 30. The 30.
Okay. I still can't believe it, Rich,
an interview with Buffalo Bob and Howdy.
What luck! I watch 'em every day.
Well, I just went down to the station
and got it cleared. I'm going over there
with my folks tomorrow.
Field goal. Field goal attempt.
Oh, good! Okay!
Right down the center.
You gotta get me an autograph of Howdy.
After Red Buttons, he's my favorite.
He's a puppet. He can't write.
Then get me a splinter.
Oh, no good, no good. No Too bad.
Okay, you recover.
Cunningham takes over on the 20.
20-yard line.
No man.
I'm winning. I'm winning 20.
Hey, what you guys talking about?
Howdy Doody.
Well, la-dee-da.
You're talking about Howdy Doody.
Not me, Fonz. Hey, do you think I'd waste my time
talking about a dumb puppet?
Let's go outside and check out the chicks, Fonz.
No, no later.
I'm fascinated about what you little guys
are talking about here about Howdy.
Oh, Rich was gonna interview.
Howdy and Buffalo Bob for the school paper.
Well, while you're down there,
why don't you interview Clarabelle?
Oh, Clarabelle doesn't talk.
He just honks his horn.
You never know when you're gonna score.
Clarabelle just might give you an exclusive honk.
That's Hey, that's a good one, Fonz.
They say I got the gift of mirth.
Hey, do you guys know
that nobody outside the show has ever
seen Clarabelle without makeup?
Where did you hear that, Malph
From one of your comic books?
Oh, no.
It's just something the kid sister mentioned.
Aw, Fonz, let's go outside and check out some chicks.
Sure. And if you bomb out,
you can always tell 'em how many strings Howdy has.
Another good one, Fonz, another good one.
Get a grip, Malph.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
I'm gonna get the biggest exclusive
that this paper has ever had.
Sure, Rich. What're you gonna tell 'em?
Art Linkletter doesn't interview kids?
It's really midgets that say the darndest things?
No, Pots, this is gonna be a biggie.
Rich, Milwaukee doesn't have any biggies.
Yes, it does.
I'm gonna get an exclusive photo
of Clarabelle, the Clown What exclusive?
Rich, do you call yourself a newspaper man?
Without makeup.
Rich, you're a newspaper man.
Yeah.
Say, kids, what time is it?
Howdy Doody Time!
Let's go!
Now, don't be nervous, dear.
Oh, I'm not.
Why should I be nervous?
Boy, do I envy you
Being seen on national television
by millions of people.
Millions? Of people?
Before we start, let me remind all the kids
about tomorrow's big Howdy Doody look-alike contest.
Do you think there's somebody out there
who actually looks likes me?
Well, Howdy, we're gonna find out tomorrow,
but you know today is an extra-special day for us.
Well, why is that, Buffalo Bob?
Well, the Junior Chipmunks have named you
the Chipmunk of the Year
and little Joanie Cunningham
is going to be here to present to you this award.
Oh, that's terrific, Buffalo Bob!
And say, kids, are you ever gonna love this?
Yes, sir, Aunt Jennie's peanut butter cakes.
It's a soft, velvety sponge cake
and it's wrapped around
a big filling of creamy peanut butter.
Oh, boy, they sure look good, Buffalo Bob.
Oh, it is good, Howdy,
and I'm gonna have one right now.
Mm, is that ever great.
Mm. And now
Now kids here's Joanie Cunningham
of the Junior Chipmunks.
Come on out here, Joanie.
Joanie Cunningham. Hi, Joanie.
Say hi to Howdy, Joanie.
Honey, there's no reason to be frightened.
We're all right here with you, Joanie and
Has the cat got your tongue?
Aw, come on, honey, why don't you relax
and have a bite of Aunt Jennie's peanut butter cakes.
No, thanks. My mom says it'll give me cavities.
Oh, but you won't get cavities
if you brush your teeth after every meal.
Right, Buffalo Bob?
Right, Howdy. Oh
and you have an award for us, don't you?
Oh, fine. Okay, would you like to read it?
Or-or would you like to have me read it?
Here, I'll, I'll, I'll read it.
Now, you hold the cookie and I'll re
Here. I Thank you.
"We, the members of Den Seven
"of the Junior Chipmunks present you, Howdy Doody,
"with the Chipmunk of the Year award
for the good things you do on television."
Oh, boy, this is just about the best thing
that ever happened to me, Buffalo Bob.
Uh, well, Joanie Cunningham
and all you wonderful Junior Chipmunks out there,
Howdy's certainly proud to be selected by you
as Chipmunk of the Year.
Okay, we'll see you again real soon.
Thank you, Joanie.
You can go now, sweetie.
Thank you. All right.
Well, we're certainly going to keep this and
You know, you can leave now, honey. Thank you.
And you come back and see us real soon.
Maybe your mother should come and take you.
Mrs. Cunningham, thank you very much.
You have a darling, darling daughter.
Thank you so much.
Okay. Well now
Maybe Daddy uh
Father, would you come and get your stage-struck family?
Hello. Hi, Mr. Cunningham.
H-How do you do?
Nice to see you, sir.
Joanie, Marion, come along.
Oh, maybe Clarabelle'll help.
Oh, Clarabelle!
Oh, here's Clarabelle.
Well, hi, Clarabelle.
Hey, kids
Oh, who's the funniest clown you know? ♪
Clarabelle! ♪
Oh, who's the clown on Howdy's show? ♪
Clarabelle! ♪
I got that picture of Clarabelle developed for you.
Pots, you're the greatest.
We're gonna make Mark Summers eat crow.
Really. I'll tell you it wasn't easy.
I had to sneak past the guard,
hide behind Phineas T. Bluster's trunk
till the coast was clear.
I went up to Clarabelle's dressing room,
threw open the door
Presto, I got the picture.
You see, that? He got the picture.
What did he do then?
He pulled on his pants.
I gotta look at this.
Look at that focus, huh?
Look at that.
We can't use this picture.
The man's naked.
Well, doesn't your school paper have a centerfold?
Whoa.
What's wrong, Rich?
We can't even use his face.
He's still got his makeup on.
How could you make a mistake like this?
How was I to know he was gonna take his pants off first?
Besides, a naked Clarabelle's
a better scoop than one with makeup.
We gotta get another picture.
I promised Mark Summers a big story.
He's holding page one.
We just gotta get another picture.
You're going to an awful lot of trouble
just to show up Mark Summers.
I'm not trying to show up anybody.
I want to go to college. I want to study journalism.
I want to work on a newspaper.
I gotta prove to myself that I can do a job.
Well, you better wait till after college.
We don't have any tickets and they won't
let us in the studio without 'em.
Hey. Rich, Rich, I got it.
What if Joanie gives 'em
another Chipmunk of the Year award?
Use your noggin.
Tell 'em it's for next year.
Cunningham!
Got that big page one scoop?
Cunningham, you're incompetent.
I'm telling you, you got two days
to come up with that big page one scoop
or you've seen your last byline in the Bugle.
You Weber.
"Weber."
Look, man, we gotta get that picture.
Well, you better think of another way
to get in the studio or you're gonna have
to think of another scoop.
The Howdy Doody contest.
What'd you say, Fonz?
They're having a Howdy Doody look-alike contest, right?
How'd you know about that?
I got my sources.
Anyway, you get some sucker to enter that contest
and you're in that studio, right?
Well, yeah, but who do we know who looks like Howdy Doody?
Yeah.
No, no, no.
You see, I'm gonna be taking the Clarabelle pictures.
I'm taking the picture.
Boy, do you hold a grudge.
Get Malph.
No. He, he, he never forgave us
for the time we entered Ralphina Malph
in the "Why I'd Like to Date Duane Eddy" Contest.
Yeah, but he won honorable mention.
Fonz?
Maybe you could get him to do it.
He looks up to you.
If you told him to do it, he'd do it.
Yeah, he'll do anything you say.
You're terrific. You're cool.
You're the greatest.
Will you stop snowin' me, huh?
Can't I help you out 'cause I'm a very close buddy?
Sure. Sure, Fonz.
Don't touch me, Weber.
We ain't that close.
Sure, Fonz.
Wait a minute, I got another one, I got another one.
Listen to this one.
Mommy, Mommy, why do I have such long teeth?
Shut up and drink your blood.
I got another one.
I got plenty, plenty.
Mommy, Mommy, what's a werewolf?
Shut up and comb your face.
Ralph, can I talk to you for a minute?
Not now, Rich, I'm hotter than Jerry Lester.
Daddy, Daddy, what's a degenerate?
Fonzie wants to talk to you.
Why didn't you tell me. Where is he?
He's in the bathroom.
You should have told me sooner.
I'll be right back, girls. The Fonz needs me.
How do I look? Do I look all right?
Oh, yeah. Good enough for the bathroom.
Yeah, Fonz, it's really a great shirt,
but why are you giving it to me?
It's your birthday present.
Yeah, Ralph.
Happy birthday.
A present? For me?
Oh, it's really nice.
I mean that's so nice.
Guys.
It's not my birthday.
I know that.
My birthday was last August.
Everybody punched me in the arm seventeen times.
It was the day you wore your big ring.
I remember.
Right, here's another present, Ralph.
Oh, Rich, I can't blow my nose in this.
It'll clash with my freckles.
No, no, no, this is a neckerchief.
Hey, huh.
Hold it a minute.
I look like Howdy Doody.
I am Howdy Doody.
Oh, no, oh, no, not this turkey.
I'm not entering any Howdy Doody contest.
Hey, what makes you think
that we're setting you up for that?
Because this outfit makes me look just like Howdy Doody.
Well, he's got us there, huh?
No, no. Go on.
Ralph, listen, you want to be in show business, right.
No. No, listen.
This could be your launching pad.
It's national television and you could tell your jokes.
Yeah? Yeah.
Snow job. Snow job.
No, wait a minute, Ralph, listen.
Listen, be a buddy.
I need your help because
I have to get a big scoop for the school newspaper.
Here's your scoop.
"Malph turns down contest bid."
I'll see you later.
I was one joke away from getting Jennie Lenbeck
and all the other girls up to Inspiration Point.
Hah!
Where we gonna get
another redheaded kid on such short notice?
Yeah.
It's Howdy Doody time ♪
It's Howdy Doody time ♪
Howdy Doody.
I look like I ought to be quarantined.
Oh, Richard, is it really worth it
to go to all this trouble just to get a picture?
Oh, Charles Bronson does it all
the time in "Man With A Camera."
You wouldn't have to go through
this if you'd interviewed me.
A picture of Clarabelle without
makeup is pretty hot stuff, Dad.
Yeah, well, there's someone in this room
who happens to think I'm pretty hot stuff.
Who is that, dear?
You guys are crazy.
Nobody has ever seen Clarabelle without makeup.
Joyce Miller told me that she read in a magazine
that he even sleeps in his clown face.
Well, come on, Rich, we gotta get goin', huh?
Yeah.
Well, how do I look?
Like a skinny Arthur Godfrey.
Boy, Buffalo Bob, am I excited.
Today we're doing the Milwaukee Preliminaries
to the Howdy Doody look-alike contest.
Yeah, me, too, Howdy.
Do you really think there's another kid
who really looks like me?
Why, sure there is.
Like our first contestant, Tommy Rhodes.
Hey, come on out, Tommy.
Hi, Tom.
Hey, you really look like Howdy.
Give Howdy a big hi.
Attaboy.
Okay, you can stand over there for a minute.
How about him, Howdy?
Well, he's almost a dead ringer.
Is there anybody else, Buffalo Bob?
Oh, sure there is, Howdy,
like our next contestant Leigh James.
Hi, Leigh.
Nice to see you.
How about her, Howdy?
Whoa, another closey, Buffalo Bob.
Boy, it's sure gonna be tough to pick a winner.
It sure is.
Okay, Leigh, you stand right next to Tommy.
And now here is our next Howdy
Doody look-alike, Danny Glass.
Come on in, Danny.
Okay, thank you, Danny.
Hey, Howdy, what do you think of Danny?
Gee, it's almost like looking into a mirror.
Yeah.
But now, hold on.
There's one more contestant.
Little Richie Cunningham.
Hi, Richie.
Uh, fine, Richie, you can go over there with the other kids.
Gee, Howdy, how about that Richie?
Gee, that's what I'll look like when I'm grown up.
Yeah, you're right.
All right. Well now let's pick a winner.
All right now, kids, I want you to applaud
for the one that you think looks most like Howdy Doody.
Now first it was Tommy Rhodes.
Or Leigh James.
Danny Glass.
Or little Richie Cunningham.
Hey, Rich, Rich. There he is.
Come on, get the picture.
A trip to Washington.
I don't know how that kid beat me.
This'll be the best scoop Jefferson High ever had.
Nobody ever said you were allowed to go
Why are you acting nuts? Get the picture.
All right.
This time I'm gonna get makeup off, pants on.
Cool it, cool it.
Oh, hi, Rich. Still here?
Yes, sir.
I've never been backstage at a television studio before.
Well, enjoy yourself.
And I'm sorry you didn't win, old bud.
If I'd a known that you were
Oh, thanks anyway.
All right. Have fun.
Try it again next year.
Thanks, fellas.
Bye, Mr. Bob.
Come on, you can see him in the mirror.
Get the picture.
Come on.
Come on, Rich, come on, let's go.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Right, I have the picture right here.
Right. All right.
Well, I'll let you know tomorrow.
Okay, thank you.
Bye.
I got it made, I got it made.
Could you hold off your "I got it made"
till a commercial comes on?
That was Life magazine.
They want to buy my picture of Clarabelle without makeup.
Well, congratulations.
They said they been trying to get Clarabelle
without makeup for years,
but the security at the New
York station was always too tough.
How did they know that you had a picture?
I don't know.
I guess Life knows everything, but they want to pay me $300.
You know, Rich, in my book
if Clarabelle doesn't have makeup, he's not Clarabelle.
My first professional sale.
To Life magazine.
You know, this could help me
get into a good journalism school
or maybe even get a scholarship.
Oh, I'll get it.
Hi.
Buffalo Bob, Clarabelle.
Hey, Buffalo Bob and Clarabelle Hey, Rich.
Nice to see you.
Welcome.
Good to see you.
Come in. Sit down. Thank you.
Come in and sit down.
Oh, what a lovely place.
Well, thank you.
Wow! Buffalo Bob and Clarabelle in my own house.
I'm gonna phone my friends and get 'em over here.
Okay, Joanie.
Well, what brings you to our humble house, huh?
Well a clown's broken heart.
He does look sad.
I guess you heard about my scoop.
You know Life magazine wants to buy this picture.
Richie there's a reason why nobody
has ever seen Clarabelle without makeup.
You see, behind that makeup he's Clarabelle the Clown
and there's sort of a mystique about him.
I don't get it.
Well, it's-it's like the Lone Ranger without a mask.
He's a nobody.
I see.
It's like Tarzan without his loin cloth.
No, that's a little different, Marion.
You see, millions of kids watch television
every day to see their favorite clown.
And to them this is Clarabelle.
Now if they were to see him
as an ordinary man
Clarabelle lives no more.
Yeah, but you see this is very important for me.
I mean this is Life magazine.
This could get me into a good journalism college.
Yeah.
And if it's printed it could ruin his career.
Richie, I know you worked hard
to get that picture and I guess you're entitled to sell it.
Rich, it's up to you.
Don't look at me, Richard.
Journalists have to make this kind of a decision every day.
That's what I would have done.
What's that?
Those are tears of joy.
Oh, tears of joy all over my living room rug.
Richie, you did a nice thing.
Yes, sir.
He's saying "Thank you."
Your welcome.
You're welcome.
No, now he's saying "good-bye." Oh, good-bye.
We've got to be on our way.
We gotta make a personal appearance.
Thanks so much, Mrs. Cunningham, you're great.
Mr. Cunningham, hope to see you real soon. Sure.
Richie, you are a great guy.
See you next time in Doodyville, okay?
Yeah, you can drive.
See you later.
Well Well, I better get the vacuum
and clean up these tears of joy.
Well, there goes my scoop.
Where's Clarabelle and Buffalo Bob?
They had to go.
They've gone?
I have 14 Chipmunks coming over to see them.
Hide the nuts, Marion.
What about my scoop?
Well, I guess your old man looks pretty good after all, huh?
Sit down.
I was born at the Milwaukee Columbia Hospital.
And everyone said I was a very cute baby.
No, wait a minute. Hold it.
Let's start before that.
My grandmother and grandfather,
they came to this country in about 1880.
Am I going too fast?
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪Oh, baby ♪
This day is ours Happy Days! ♪
Hello, sunshine, good-bye, rain ♪
She's wearing my school ring on her chain ♪
She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪