Happy's Place (2024) s02e17 Episode Script

1
So the doctor says we can
freeze it or we can leave it,
you know, but it's totally benign.
And I'm like, Doc, I've
had this my whole life,
and holy "moley," I'd
miss him if he was gone.
[LAUGHS]
Anyway, one Moscow mole.
Oh, I mean mule.
Hey, maybe that's what made
me think of this, you know?
You can touch it if you want.
Gabby.
Do you have any tops with long sleeves?
What?
Because I showed them Moley Ringwald?
Hey, maybe that's what
made me think about it.
[LAUGHS]
Steve, how are we coming
along with the new menus?
Because these old ones
are looking pretty ratty.
Well, as you know,
we've always used Jimmy's Paper Palace
because you like to
support local businesses,
and I like to be treated like a prince.
Uh-huh.
So I called Jimmy Sr.,
even though he turned the business over
to his son, Jimmy Jr.,
because Senior started the business,
and Junior is not a people person.
Right.
Anyway, turns out the business closed.
Because of Jimmy Jr.?
- No, COVID.
- Oh.
But I'm sure Junior didn't help.
Have I told you about
his gambling problem?
Steve.
Are we getting new menus or what?
Tomorrow, Ms. Busy.
Thank you.
Now what?
Emmett refuses to cook
this steak medium-well.
Emmett.
The cow's already dead.
I'm not going to humiliate it.
OK, everybody, Happy Checks
this afternoon in my office.
[GROANS]
Ooh, Happy Checks.
That sounds fun.
They're not.
They're performance reviews.
I'd call them Unhappy Checks,
but nobody would show up.
Well, I'm not prepared for that.
Oh, honey, you don't have to be.
There's no reason for
everybody hating both of us.
No, I should be in there with you.
We're co-owners.
That means we share everything,
even the unpleasant stuff.
OK, fine.
But remember, when they get mad,
sticks and stones may break your bones.
But words will never hurt me.
No, I'm telling you, they
have sticks and stones.
Sometimes it feels
like a big ol' fight ♪
To get through the day ♪
And sleep on through the night ♪
But here you'll find a place ♪
That'll surely lift your spirits ♪
You belong at Happy's Place ♪
So how often do we do these
Happy Check review thingies?
Oh, not often.
It's kind of like flossing.
You only do it when you need it.
That's not how flossing works at all.
I don't know, it just feels so weird
criticizing people who are like family.
Well, sometimes,
Mama and Daddy have to yell at the kids
for peeing in the tomato plants.
Nobody here is doing that, right?
Nah, but I had a cousin
that did get in trouble for that.
We stopped eating salads at their house.
OK, eww.
We're not actually going to
yell at them, though, are we?
Oh, of course not.
Well, maybe Emmett.
Iron sharpens iron.
But you don't have to be here.
I mean, offer still stands.
No, we're in this together, OK?
- So who's up first?
- OK.
Steve, you're up.
I got you a little gift
just because I'm a nice person
who likes doing nice
things for other nice people.
Uh-huh.
That's sweet.
Are they for both of us?
OK.
Steve, when we ask you questions,
you answer with way too many details.
OK, if I may defend myself
You may not.
Just knock it off, OK?
[SCOFFS] Fine.
You know what?
These are for nice people.
You bet. Tell Emmett he's up.
Mm!
[LAUGHS]
Yikes.
That was a little rough.
What are you talking about?
I mean, you just tossed it out there.
"Hey, Steve, we have a problem with you.
Here it is." [RETCHING]
[LAUGHS]
He's a big boy.
He'll be fine.
Here. I got you these.
Completely independent of Steve.
Emmett, you need to
stop hooting and hollering
at the customer whenever they order food
in a way you don't like.
Well, if I don't yell, how
are they going to know?
They won't.
They'll eat the food they ordered
without your opinion.
They'll pay for it, and we'll call it
a restaurant.
Fine.
And we know it will be delicious,
because you're such a great chef.
Keep up the good work, soldier.
War is hell.
What was that all about?
A compliment.
I'm not surprised
you didn't recognize it.
Do you have a problem with the way
I'm doing these reviews?
You know, as a matter of fact, I do.
You're upsetting people.
Nobody likes criticism,
but we get over it.
Just like I'm going to get over the way
you're talking to me right now.
If you compliment someone
before you criticize them
and then end with a
compliment, people tend to take
the criticism much better.
It's called a compliment sandwich,
and it totally works.
- Tons of studies say so.
- Mm-hmm.
Seriously?
Who are these people
doing these studies?
Because they sound like a
bunch of whiny babies to me.
Can we just try my way, please?
You know, if it works, isn't it worth it
taking a little extra time to
spare someone else's feelings?
Fine, but if it doesn't
work, I'm sending you
some of my cousin's tomatoes.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
So how'd your review go?
Well, apparently I take
too long to give answers
to very simple questions.
But details are necessary.
Without them, you have no context.
Without context, you
don't have understanding.
And without understanding,
you have nothing.
Well, I guess they'd
rather live in ignorance.
Thank you.
How'd yours go?
Well, I'm not supposed to
complain about customers
who are idiots.
What?
You worked really hard on your recipes.
You're entitled to get upset
when someone doesn't appreciate them.
And you should be able to
talk as much as you want,
because you're a funny little guy.
And you're a tall man
who speaks the truth.
Aww.
Are the baby's feelings
hurt after a little criticism?
Let me play you a sad song
on the world's smallest cello.
Um, you're supposed to
play the world's smallest violin.
That looks like you're
brushing your knees.
Well, I don't know
how to play the violin,
because my mom said playing the violin
would make me look like a giant.
Well, we're not being babies.
We can take criticism.
Yeah, we just don't like it.
You want me to give you a little advice?
No.
Always expect the worst.
You can't get too low
if you're already living
in the basement, baby.
Listen to Yo-Yo Ma.
Gabby, you're up.
All right, MacAllister.
Give it to me straight.
I can take it.
I warmed up earlier by FaceTiming my mom
with no makeup.
Actually, Gabby, Isabella
will be leading your review.
Ah.
OK, Sanchez, hit me where it hurts.
Gabby, you are one
of the best bartenders
I've ever seen.
OK.
The customers love
you. The staff loves you.
I mean, even the mean guy
who delivers the beef loves you.
Well, you know, he's not so bad
once you figure out
which eye to look at.
You're a valuable part of this team.
And we are so, so lucky and
so, so grateful to have you.
Wow.
OK, this is the best day of my life.
Thank you, guys.
Hang on.
You haven't finished your sandwich yet.
What?
There is one thing
we'd like you to work on.
We feel that sometimes
you tend to overshare
a little with the customers.
[SCOFFS] Overshare?
How do I overshare?
Well, like that time a customer ordered
a Reuben sandwich, and
you told them how you dated
a circus clown named Reuben,
who dumped you at a
Greyhound bus station.
He claimed there was no room in his car,
and everyone knows that is a lie!
Time to slap on that
other piece of bread.
But what we really want
you to carry away from here
is that you are a vital piece
of the Happy's Place family.
Still the best day of your life?
OK. I'm confused.
You complimented me,
then you criticized me,
but then you complimented me again.
Exactly, yes.
Why are you playing with my mind?
You lowered my defenses,
so I wasn't prepared
when you kicked me
between the cello holders.
And here I thought gluten-free was
the worst kind of sandwich.
Liver and onions.
No onions?
Are you nuts?
Liver needs help.
It's wrong, but you can't say anything.
Are we suddenly supposed to not care?
This is insanity.
Man, I cannot believe them.
What? What'd they say?
Well, after emotionally
waterboarding me,
they said that I overshare
with the customers.
- [SCOFFS]
- [SCOFFS]
You? Oversharing?
Did they mean overcaring?
You are not just a bartender.
You're a therapist,
a psychic, a minister.
Your personal stories
have probably saved lives.
Maybe pull it back a little bit.
Hey, can you guys keep it down in there?
The customers can hear you out here.
Oh, really?
Well, don't tell the bosses,
or it'll end up on my next Happy Check.
What do you mean?
Well, Takoda, I can't help but notice
that you were not
called into the office.
Why? Is that because you're perfect?
Or because you're a spy?
What?
I'm not a spy.
Well, well, well, look
who thinks he's perfect.
Well, I don't think I'm that either.
I'm just like you guys.
I've got tons of flaws.
Name one.
Well, one time I
- Uh-uh
- One time you what?
You couldn't come up
with a lie fast enough?
Yeah.
Sorry, Undercover Boss,
but I ain't signing a waiver.
You guys gotta help me.
I need a Happy Check.
A bad one.
What's gotten into you?
Everyone's ticked off at you guys,
and they think I'm a spy.
A spy?
That's crazy.
If anything, you're a teacher's pet.
Keep it down.
They might hear you.
Wait, hold on.
What do you mean
everyone's ticked off at us?
- I don't know if I should say.
- Why not?
They already think you're a spy.
Oh, man.
This must be why James
Bond doesn't have any friends.
Whoa, whoa. Where are you going?
I'm going to go talk to them.
I don't want them upset.
I think if I explained
to Steve and Emmett
that their reviews weren't as
bad as you made them sound,
they'll feel better.
So you think this is all my fault?
How do you explain Gabby's reaction?
Can we ever explain Gabby's reactions?
Isabella, listen to me.
Talking to 'em is only
going to make it worse.
The best thing we can
do is just leave 'em alone.
Yeah.
I'm going to go talk to them.
Well, I hope they listen to you
better than you listen to me.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
I just don't find it fair
when I tried to do it in
the nicest way possible.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I can't take a criticism
unless you tell me
how wonderful I am first.
Isabella, let it go.
No, I don't want them to be upset,
especially because my critiques
weren't even that big a deal.
[SNORTS] OK.
What? What was that?
[IMITATES SNORTING]
Come on, ladies.
Where I come from,
snorting leads to hair-pulling.
I just think it is really
easy for certain people
not to expect other people to get upset
at those certain people when
those certain people never
have to get criticized
by those other people.
Now, are you certain
people and I'm other people?
Or am I other people
and you're certain people?
All I know is, it is
really easy for you two,
because you never
have to get criticized.
Wait, is that what's bothering you?
Yeah.
Well, would it make you feel better
if you all got to criticize us?
- Yeah.
- Wait. Wait.
No, we don't want to do that.
What's the problem? It only seems fair.
Yeah, Bobbie, what's the problem?
It only seems fair.
I don't have to be fair.
I'm the boss.
Last time I sat in a circle like this,
I was only allowed to use my first name.
So what the heck is this again?
Well, just as Bobbie and I
had some suggestions for you
about how you do your jobs, we thought
you might have something to
say about how we do our jobs.
Yeah, well, not to your face.
- Did you approve this?
- Sure.
I mean, I don't know. Whatever.
Just join the circle.
Uh, I think what Bobbie means to say
is that we are walking into this
with open minds and hearts.
And closed fists.
We are doing this so that
there are no hard feelings
and everybody feels heard.
Well, I would just
like to say, Isabella,
that that is truly admirable.
You're a real leader.
Oh, well, thank you.
Except you build people
up just to tear them down.
You're like a Taylor Swift revenge song.
Really? You didn't see that coming?
Gabby, I'm not just
trying to build you up.
I actually think you
do a great job, and
OK, save it, sister.
I'm not falling for that crap anymore.
It's not crap.
- It's
- I have a complaint.
In conversations, you always
have to have the last word.
I don't think I do that.
Believe me, you do.
Agree to disagree.
You just did it.
Maybe move on to friendlier shores.
OK, but he's wrong.
- Takoda
- [SCOFFS]
You haven't said anything yet.
Oh. Well, this ought to be good.
I can't wait to hear
what Benedict Arnold has
to say about our dear leaders.
I'm not a spy.
Exactly what a spy would
say to himself in the mirror
practicing how not to sound like a spy.
Isabella, you put a target on my back.
Oh, hang on. I was in there too.
It's OK, Bobbie.
He's just making an observation.
Yeah, whatever you need to tell yourself
to sleep at night, sweetie.
Are these the sticks or the stones?
OK, y'all have picked on her enough.
Doesn't anybody have
anything bad to say about me?
I do.
Why the hell would you
agree to Isabella's stupid idea?
OK, good session.
I'm going to go and
and
and I'm going.
Well, y'all happy now
that you made her cry?
BOTH: Kind of, yeah.
Well, I'm not.
Your boo-hoo complaining was not enough?
You had to go and only pick on Isabella.
There's a good reason for that.
We're scared of you.
I'm not.
Oh, yeah.
Emmett, you're a big old tough guy.
We get it.
So does that girl out there crying.
I'm not proud of that.
Well, you shouldn't be.
Y'all are some of the
best people I know,
and you attack the one person
that was just trying to help you.
I feel terrible.
You should.
Spying is a terrible thing.
There you are.
I thought you ran out in the alley.
I did, but the trash has
a bunch of cabbage in it
right now, so I thought
I'd just wait in here.
Well, you have every reason to.
- They were way out of line.
- No, they weren't.
They were just doing
what I asked them to
in a really mean and spiteful way.
Oh, honey, you only did that
because you care so much.
I mean, I also did it because
I know that criticism hurts
my feelings, and I don't want to make
another person feel that way.
I get it, but you need
to weather the storm.
People being mad at you
is just part of being the boss.
I just don't take it personally.
You're right. I know.
Don't get down on yourself.
You bring out the good in people.
That's why we love
having you around so much.
OK, why are you grinning like that?
Because I think you just gave
me a compliment sandwich.
Oh, no, I didn't.
Wow.
Bobbie learned something from me.
[LAUGHS] You keep grinning like that,
I'm going to give you a Happy Check.
Well, just be sure to
compliment me like you learned.
You gotta be really right
to leave a room like that.
Yeah, she's really right.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Isabella, I have an
update on that stove repair.
OK.
Siri, set a 15-second timer.
I called the guy we used last time,
but he's out sick, so I found
another guy who can do it.
But we're going to
have to open up early,
because he has to
get out of here by 9:00
to get to his brother's wedding.
It's the brother's third marriage,
and nobody likes the bride.
But he's still got to go,
and they'll fix it on Tuesday.
[PHONE DINGS]
Great.
Well done, Steve.
Thank you.
At first, I thought I needed 20 seconds,
but then I talked to
my cousin's dog-sitter,
and he said
Ding.
[KNOCKING ON BAR]
Isabella.
Unhappy Cathy just
ordered a Sex on The Beach,
and she still has no
idea what I did in Tahiti.
I'm proud of you, Gabby.
I am keeping it all in.
I'm probably growing a
tumor, but my tips are up 20%.
I think those performance reviews
are starting to pay off.
Mm-hmm.
Bobbie, Emmett won't cook
a steak medium-well again.
Emmett.
What?
Did the narc tell you I just said no?
I didn't call the customer
an idiot like I wanted to.
I got this.
Emmett!
Stop your hooting and hollering
and give the customer what he wants.
You got it, Boss.
See?
I learned something from you too.
Takoda, you care too much
about what other people think.
That's something you can work on.
Thank you!
Did you guys hear that?
Isabella really gave it to me.