Happy Days (1974) s02e18 Episode Script
Get a Job
1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
What is this here "cheap labor"?
Well, that's us. Cheap labor.
We're trying to make some money.
Yeah. I'm sick of watching drive-in movies
from the outside.
I'm telling you guys,
it's been so long since I could afford a date
the girls are giving me mercy hickeys.
Hey, I can understand that.
I was young once.
Why don't you put your masterpiece
on the old bulletin board?
Well, we can't. Look, it's all full.
Hey-y-y.
That's great, Fonz.
Thanks.
I gotta trip the light fantastic.
Whoa.
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
It's ten feet, two inches.
Now my feet are exactly 11 inches long.
That means it's nine feet, two inches.
You're so good in math.
Well, we could use a nine-foot couch.
That's right.
Now, are you sure your feet are 11 inches?
I would just hate to buy a nine-foot couch
and then find out your feet were off.
Marion, my feet are exactly 11 inches long.
If you don't believe me, get
a ruler and I'll prove it to you.
If I could find a ruler, we wouldn't have to use your feet.
I'll get it.
No, I'll get it, Dad.
It's probably for me.
Hello.
Yeah, Pots.
It's for me.
Oh, we got a job?
Oh, well, I think we should turn that one down.
Would you want to clean cages at a turkey farm?
I wouldn't.
Yeah, all right, I'll see you.
Turkey farm.
Oh, never mind, Richard; You'll get something.
I hope so.
What I don't understand
is why did you put that sign up at Arnold's?
I mean nobody goes in there but kids.
We put one in the market, too.
Howard, dear, measure that again, will you?
Oh, Marion.
Excuse me.
Hey, I can't work out this problem.
What are you doing, Dad?
Joanie, your father is measuring.
What's the problem?
Well, this farmer's got a plot a quarter of a mile long
by two rods wide and I don't know how to get the area.
It's exactly nine feet, two inches.
Thanks, Dad.
No, no, that's not it.
Hey, Rich, somebody called for you before,
about fixing a fence or something.
Well, why didn't you write it down?
Oh, I got it! Where?
It's here somewhere.
Mom Here it is.
I wrote it on a gum paper. Oh, good.
Mrs. Kimber, 244 Elmridge Street.
You didn't write a phone number down.
Oh, I ran out of gum wrapper.
I'll call Ralph and Potsie.
Oh, Dad, uh supposing she wants references?
Well, I I'm not gonna lie, Richard.
Oh, I don't want you to lie.
Just tell her something good about me.
Well, I'll I'll tell her that
after having cleaned my garage that
that I think that you could
uh, possibly uh
I'll make something up.
This is it.
We'll make us some money. You bet.
Wow, look at this fence!
It's a mess.
Hey, this looks like a big job.
Maybe we ought to think about this, huh?
It's really hot.
I thought you guys said you wanted to work.
All I said was I wanted to make some money.
Maybe Potsie's right.
Working all the time can make Jack a very dull boy.
Also Ralph.
All the time?!
So far, I'd say we've worked about ten minutes
in my father's garage.
It was a tough ten minutes, Rich.
Well, we've got to at least talk to the lady.
Okay.
But listen, I've got a great idea.
Whatever price she says,
we just tell her it's not enough.
And it won't be.
You couldn't pay me enough to do this job.
Go on, Rich, ring the bell.
You guys really fink out, don't you?
Don't take it.
Hello.
Uh, Mrs Kimber?
Yeah.
Ah
Well, we're "Cheap Labor."
I'm Cheap Cunning Richie Cunningham.
I'm Potsie. Ralph Malph.
Well, I'm glad you're here.
I excuse me.
I didn't expect such cute labor.
Yeah, that's us, cute and cheap.
And we mean cheap.
We do anything cheap.
Well, as you can see, my fence is falling down.
And, uh I really love my privacy.
Well, I, uh I guess your husband
isn't real handy with a hammer and nails.
Oh, I don't have a husband. I'm divorced.
Listen, I hope this isn't too much work for you boys.
I'd hate to have you wear yourselves out.
No, no, no, don't worry about us.
We trained athletes have great staying power.
Well, that's nice.
I'll pay you two dollars an hour.
Well I'm sorry, but it isn't enough.
Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
We'll do it. That's too much, maybe.
Sounds great. When do we start?
Well, why not right now.
I've got hammer and nails in the can in the garage
and if you need anything else, just whistle.
Oh, great I'm a good whistler.
I'm probably the best whistler in Milwaukee.
Oh, don't you worry.
We will do a great job.
Good. I'll see you later.
You can bet on it.
Wow! A divorcée who needs privacy.
So?
So, if she needs privacy,
that means she sunbathes in the nude.
Yeah.
I never knew work could be so sexy.
Well, I hope she has enough nails.
She said she sunbathes in the nude?
Where was I when she said that?
Right here.
You heard her say it, didn't you, Ralphie?
Sure. She said, "I love my privacy."
You guys have gotta be kidding.
I suppose you didn't hear her proposition us either.
No. No, I didn't.
Rich, you have to read between the lines.
Can't you see how sexy she is?
Well, yeah, yeah, she's good-looking.
Good-looking?!
Rich, are you telling me that you didn't notice her body?
You probably read Playboy for the articles.
Hey, I look at the pictures.
Yeah.
Come on!
She's just a nice lady.
A very good-looking, nice lady.
Rich, she's divorced.
You know what they say about divorcées.
I know, I know.
Hot to trot.
That's what you guys are always saying.
I never understand why.
Rich, are you just kidding or you playing dumb, huh?
Divorcées are like nurses and stewardesses.
But better.
What's the big deal with divorcées?
Rich uh, here.
I got it You'll do it, you'll do it.
Listen, this is more important.
Now, Rich, suppose you started having
a chocolate soda every day,
and you got used to having chocolate sodas.
And you love chocolate sodas. Right.
Then, all of a sudden, your chocolate sodas were cut off.
Wouldn't you be dying for a chocolate soda?
Maybe we should invite her to Arnold's
for a chocolate soda.
Will you do some work, Ralph?
There she goes by the window.
Where? Ow!
She just went by upstairs.
What was she wearing?
Nothing.
Nothing?
I mean, I don't know but my imagination saw nothing.
I ruined my finger for his imagination?
Boy, what a set-up.
She lives all alone.
No brothers, no sisters.
No parents or husbands.
Am I thirsty.
Where are you going?
To get a glass of water and take her up on her proposition.
What proposition?
Look, Rich, why do you think she didn't want us
to wear ourselves out?
You see, Rich, with a divorcée,
all you got to do is establish a relationship.
With a glass of water?
It's a start, Rich, it's a start.
It gets you inside the house.
Then you charm your way into her private quarters.
From there, you're just one subtle move away from paradise.
You go from a glass of water to paradise?
Richard, it's a well-known fact that divorcées are very
Hot to trot I know, I know.
What are you staring about?
Yeah, what was she wearing?
Are you gonna tell us, Potsie?
A skirt and a blouse.
What's so great about a skirt and a blouse?
Well, it's the way she was wearing it.
That's it.
I'm gonna get a drink of water.
What are you taking your shirt off for?
Well, I'm gonna give her a treat
A free look at my tanned, muscular bod.
Bill Holden, Picnic.
Yeah?
Hi.
I was wondering if I could have a drink of water.
Sure, just a second.
Excuse me.
Here you are. Thanks.
Hey, you ought to put your shirt on.
You're gonna get an awful sunburn
with all that pink skin.
I had enough.
You really bowled her over, didn't you, Mr. Atlas?
Well, I got the water. It's a start.
You know you guys made me thirsty.
Aw, come on, Rich, it didn't work for me.
Yeah, your body is whiter than mine.
No, no, I'm not kidding.
I'm really thirsty.
Rich, don't ask her for a glass of water.
It'll make us look like a bunch of kids.
What am I supposed to do?
There's a hose right over there use that.
Why didn't you use the hose?
I wasn't thirsty.
How's it going, fellas?
Oh, just great.
Fine, fine.
Well, I made you some sandwiches.
There's peanut butter and jelly and bologna.
That should tide you over till I get back.
Thanks.
Aren't you gonna sunbathe or anything?
Uh, no.
No, I'm going to my ballet class and then do some shopping.
Oh, I'll be back later to pay you.
See you this afternoon.
Well, that's it for today.
What?
Sure is hot.
I'm bushed.
Come on guys, we're not finished yet.
Look, Rich, we're quitting. Are you with us?
Quitting?! We're not done.
We did our share.
That's right, Rich.
I'm being wasted here.
Not fulfilling my potential.
Listen, we promised her.
See you later, Rich.
Aw, come on, she made these sandwiches and everything.
So long. Bye.
All right.
All right, that's it.
The partnership's dissolved.
From now on, it's "Cunningham's Cheap Labor."
Left me the bologna.
Sha, la-la, la boop! ♪
Wah, wah-wah-wah-wah. ♪
Hey, great job.
Where are your friends?
Oh, they
They had to go on home, uh, to eat dinner.
Don't you eat, too?
Sure, but I wanted to finish up the job.
Finished.
You're pretty responsible, aren't you?
Oh, well
No, no, you seem much more mature than your friends.
Well, thanks.
Well, I-I am the president of the Glee Club.
You sorta have to be mature.
You know, I was president of my Glee Club?
Of course, that was ten years ago.
See? We've got a lot in common.
Yeah, yeah, that's really something.
Well, I'll put this stuff back in your garage.
I guess you have to go home and have dinner, too.
Well, yeah.
It is my menu night at home.
Huh?
See, one night every week, we get
to pick out our favorite.
Like, I picked meatloaf.
My kid sister Joanie always picks
baked macaroni and applesauce.
Oh, but you don't want to hear about that stuff.
That's silly.
Oh, no. It sounds fun.
I wish I had someone to pick menus with.
It gets a little boring eating
in front of the TV, watching Bert Parks.
Don't you go out much?
Well, I haven't lived here that long.
I don't have many friends.
Oh.
Well, maybe you'll meet some.
Pretty hard.
When someone finds out you're divorced,
you become a marked woman.
You don't look marked to me.
Think I better go.
Listen
would you consider having dinner with me?
I bought some steaks to put on the barbecue.
Well, uh well, I I really should go.
I mean, I picked the meatloaf and everything.
Oh, sure.
I understand.
I could come back.
All I have to do is wash and change my clothes.
How long will it take you?
About a half hour.
I'll put the steaks on.
Hey, maybe open up a little bottle of wine, huh?
Yeah, great.
Good food, good wine.
I'll be counting the minutes.
She didn't see that.
Ooh, ah, ooh-ah. ♪
Mom, you're not still mad, are you?
I'm not still mad because I never was mad.
You ordered this meatloaf, Richard.
You're mad.
You always call me "Richard" when you're mad.
Don't feel bad.
When she's mad at me, she calls me "brat."
Don't eat raw potato, Joanie.
Mom It'll give you worms.
Mom, look, it's a business dinner.
Since when do you put on Dad's aftershave for business?
Well, who said I'm wearing Dad's aftershave?
Are you kidding?
I can smell it over here.
The curl's falling out of my Toni.
Excuse me, dear.
Mom, look, I-I'm sorry.
I promise I'll have a big slice of the meatloaf
before I go to sleep.
Hi, everybody.
Hello, dear. Hi, Dad.
Sweetheart.
You're wearing my aftershave.
You got a date with a hot number?
Oh, no, it's just, it's a business dinner
with a client that I did some work for, that's all.
Who is he?
Well, it's a she.
I knew it.
Joanie, will you just go and watch TV till dinner's ready?
Sure, sure.
Always just when it gets good.
Don't eat raw potato, Howard.
It'll give you worms.
Mom, this lady is very lonely.
She hasn't had any company since she moved to Milwaukee.
Well, show a little compassion, Marion.
It's meatloaf night.
She's probably just some poor thing who's very lonely.
How old is she, Richard?
She's about 28.
You see, I told you.
She's just about 28.
Uh
I think maybe your mother and I would like
to know a little more about her.
Well, she's very nice.
Well, she's, she's, uh she's good-looking
for a woman of her age.
Uh, she's, she's blonde divorced.
Divorced?
You're having dinner with a divorcée?
Mom, this poor lady is alone every night day.
Listen, I won't be out long.
Uh, save me some of that meatloaf, all right, Mom?
I really want some.
You will save some?
He's having dinner with a divorcée.
Oh, come on now, Marion, they're just like anybody else.
I think.
Wow!
Richie's dating a divorced woman?
They're hot to trot.
Joanie.
Howard!
Oh, look, Marion,
now, when I was a kid, working for Mickey's Market,
I used to deliver groceries
to half the divorced women in Milwaukee.
That was different.
What do you mean, that was different?
Well, nothing happened to you.
Oh.
I don't think that'll stain.
I think I got it.
I don't know how I did that.
I guess that mushroom must've been kinda slippery.
Don't worry about it.
Oh, you're gonna think I'm a real clod.
Oh, no, I don't.
I think you're very nice.
Really? Oh!
So I'm a nice clod.
Forget it.
Look, I'm sorry.
No, no, no.
Listen, this is an old dress,
and I still think you're nice.
And I'm very glad you're here tonight.
Thanks.
I am, too, Mrs. Kimber.
Dorothy.
You know, it's no fun being lonely.
Is something wrong?
No, no, nothing.
You aren't nervous about being alone here with me, are you?
No. No, no, not at all.
Why should I be nervous?
You know,
you are the first man that I've had dinner with
since my divorce?
What's the matter?
Well, I must've swallowed something wrong.
Uh
Do you think I could get a glass of water?
Oh, sure, sure.
You boys drink a lot of water.
What are you guys doing here?!
We called your house.
They said you came over here for dinner.
You, dog, you.
Get out of here right now
I mean it or I'll clobber you.
Aw, Rich, can't we watch?
Yeah, you won't even know we're here.
Ralph, if you don't scram,
I'm gonna tell Denise you broke your date with her
so you could go out with Joyce Saturday night.
You wouldn't.
And Potsie, I covered for you that night
you were supposed to be studying for that math test.
Okay, okay, we're going.
Come on.
Ow! Ow!
Sorry. Not sorry.
Come on, Ralph. All right.
But what a party pooper.
Oh, here you are.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, yeah, that's much better; Thank you.
Good.
Would you like to sit on the swing?
Sure.
Well, this is nice.
Very nice.
Richie, have you and your friends
been talking about divorcées?
Oh, no.
No, no.
Yes.
I know what people say:
divorced women are looking for a good time,
on the make Hot to trot.
Right.
They're not?
Richie, would you forget I'm divorced?
I'm, I'm just a person,
like you're a person and, and I I need friends
like you need friends.
Can you understand that?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
I'm sorry I kissed you.
Oh, don't be sorry for that.
Should I go home?
Of course not.
I like talking to you.
They're not a lot of people
I can talk to this way.
It was something I could never do with my husband.
Really?
Oh, you don't want to hear about my marriage.
Bore you.
Oh, no, it wouldn't bore me.
I'd be very interested.
Really?
Yes.
Well, I guess there are some people
that should be married, and I was unlucky enough
to get someone who shouldn't.
You were?
Oh, he had it all figured out.
While he had fun,
I cleaned the house and had his meals ready
when he came home.
Oh, if he decided to come home.
Boy.
It's not gonna be like that when I get married.
I mean, I think that it should be two people
who love each other, but who want to do things together.
Like you've always got this really good friend
that you can share things with.
Now, isn't that right?
You know something?
I wish we weren't ten years apart.
Well, it's not that much.
I mean, if you were five years younger
and I was five years older
Come on, Rich, don't be like that.
Tell us what happened, huh?
He doesn't want to talk because he blew it.
Nothing happened, Potsie.
Right.
You guys can think anything you want.
I just don't want to talk about it.
See, he didn't blow it.
He's covering up.
He's too willing to accept the guilt.
Right. You guys are so immature.
Why, why don't you grow up?
See? He made out.
He's talking like a guy who made out.
Right, Ralph.
Fellas, there are just some things
that a guy doesn't want to talk about.
Now, someday, you'll understand, right?
Hey, Fonz.
Hey, what's shaking, Fonz? Hi, Fonz.
How's it going?
Rich here went out with a 28-year-old divorcée
and he won't tell us what happened.
Hey, that's pretty cool, Cunningham.
Don't say a word.
There's no reason these nerds should know anything.
Well, thanks, Fonz.
Yeah. Hey, little boys,
why don't you go take a walk, huh?
Go finger paint in your ice cream or something, huh?
Well, okay, Fonz. Come on, Pots.
I already ate it.
Come on, Pots.
Come on, Pots.
Oh, no, no, Cunningham, Wait a minute.
I want to tell you something.
Those guys, they tick me off, you know?
I mean, they're not cool.
They got no class, you know?
They don't understand.
Now, I, on the other hand, understand.
So I want you to sit right down here
and I want you, detail by detail,
to tell me everything that happened last night.
Come on, give, give.
This day is ours ♪
These are such happy days! ♪
Hello, sunshine, good-bye, rain ♪
She's wearing my school ring on her chain ♪
She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
What is this here "cheap labor"?
Well, that's us. Cheap labor.
We're trying to make some money.
Yeah. I'm sick of watching drive-in movies
from the outside.
I'm telling you guys,
it's been so long since I could afford a date
the girls are giving me mercy hickeys.
Hey, I can understand that.
I was young once.
Why don't you put your masterpiece
on the old bulletin board?
Well, we can't. Look, it's all full.
Hey-y-y.
That's great, Fonz.
Thanks.
I gotta trip the light fantastic.
Whoa.
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
It's ten feet, two inches.
Now my feet are exactly 11 inches long.
That means it's nine feet, two inches.
You're so good in math.
Well, we could use a nine-foot couch.
That's right.
Now, are you sure your feet are 11 inches?
I would just hate to buy a nine-foot couch
and then find out your feet were off.
Marion, my feet are exactly 11 inches long.
If you don't believe me, get
a ruler and I'll prove it to you.
If I could find a ruler, we wouldn't have to use your feet.
I'll get it.
No, I'll get it, Dad.
It's probably for me.
Hello.
Yeah, Pots.
It's for me.
Oh, we got a job?
Oh, well, I think we should turn that one down.
Would you want to clean cages at a turkey farm?
I wouldn't.
Yeah, all right, I'll see you.
Turkey farm.
Oh, never mind, Richard; You'll get something.
I hope so.
What I don't understand
is why did you put that sign up at Arnold's?
I mean nobody goes in there but kids.
We put one in the market, too.
Howard, dear, measure that again, will you?
Oh, Marion.
Excuse me.
Hey, I can't work out this problem.
What are you doing, Dad?
Joanie, your father is measuring.
What's the problem?
Well, this farmer's got a plot a quarter of a mile long
by two rods wide and I don't know how to get the area.
It's exactly nine feet, two inches.
Thanks, Dad.
No, no, that's not it.
Hey, Rich, somebody called for you before,
about fixing a fence or something.
Well, why didn't you write it down?
Oh, I got it! Where?
It's here somewhere.
Mom Here it is.
I wrote it on a gum paper. Oh, good.
Mrs. Kimber, 244 Elmridge Street.
You didn't write a phone number down.
Oh, I ran out of gum wrapper.
I'll call Ralph and Potsie.
Oh, Dad, uh supposing she wants references?
Well, I I'm not gonna lie, Richard.
Oh, I don't want you to lie.
Just tell her something good about me.
Well, I'll I'll tell her that
after having cleaned my garage that
that I think that you could
uh, possibly uh
I'll make something up.
This is it.
We'll make us some money. You bet.
Wow, look at this fence!
It's a mess.
Hey, this looks like a big job.
Maybe we ought to think about this, huh?
It's really hot.
I thought you guys said you wanted to work.
All I said was I wanted to make some money.
Maybe Potsie's right.
Working all the time can make Jack a very dull boy.
Also Ralph.
All the time?!
So far, I'd say we've worked about ten minutes
in my father's garage.
It was a tough ten minutes, Rich.
Well, we've got to at least talk to the lady.
Okay.
But listen, I've got a great idea.
Whatever price she says,
we just tell her it's not enough.
And it won't be.
You couldn't pay me enough to do this job.
Go on, Rich, ring the bell.
You guys really fink out, don't you?
Don't take it.
Hello.
Uh, Mrs Kimber?
Yeah.
Ah
Well, we're "Cheap Labor."
I'm Cheap Cunning Richie Cunningham.
I'm Potsie. Ralph Malph.
Well, I'm glad you're here.
I excuse me.
I didn't expect such cute labor.
Yeah, that's us, cute and cheap.
And we mean cheap.
We do anything cheap.
Well, as you can see, my fence is falling down.
And, uh I really love my privacy.
Well, I, uh I guess your husband
isn't real handy with a hammer and nails.
Oh, I don't have a husband. I'm divorced.
Listen, I hope this isn't too much work for you boys.
I'd hate to have you wear yourselves out.
No, no, no, don't worry about us.
We trained athletes have great staying power.
Well, that's nice.
I'll pay you two dollars an hour.
Well I'm sorry, but it isn't enough.
Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
We'll do it. That's too much, maybe.
Sounds great. When do we start?
Well, why not right now.
I've got hammer and nails in the can in the garage
and if you need anything else, just whistle.
Oh, great I'm a good whistler.
I'm probably the best whistler in Milwaukee.
Oh, don't you worry.
We will do a great job.
Good. I'll see you later.
You can bet on it.
Wow! A divorcée who needs privacy.
So?
So, if she needs privacy,
that means she sunbathes in the nude.
Yeah.
I never knew work could be so sexy.
Well, I hope she has enough nails.
She said she sunbathes in the nude?
Where was I when she said that?
Right here.
You heard her say it, didn't you, Ralphie?
Sure. She said, "I love my privacy."
You guys have gotta be kidding.
I suppose you didn't hear her proposition us either.
No. No, I didn't.
Rich, you have to read between the lines.
Can't you see how sexy she is?
Well, yeah, yeah, she's good-looking.
Good-looking?!
Rich, are you telling me that you didn't notice her body?
You probably read Playboy for the articles.
Hey, I look at the pictures.
Yeah.
Come on!
She's just a nice lady.
A very good-looking, nice lady.
Rich, she's divorced.
You know what they say about divorcées.
I know, I know.
Hot to trot.
That's what you guys are always saying.
I never understand why.
Rich, are you just kidding or you playing dumb, huh?
Divorcées are like nurses and stewardesses.
But better.
What's the big deal with divorcées?
Rich uh, here.
I got it You'll do it, you'll do it.
Listen, this is more important.
Now, Rich, suppose you started having
a chocolate soda every day,
and you got used to having chocolate sodas.
And you love chocolate sodas. Right.
Then, all of a sudden, your chocolate sodas were cut off.
Wouldn't you be dying for a chocolate soda?
Maybe we should invite her to Arnold's
for a chocolate soda.
Will you do some work, Ralph?
There she goes by the window.
Where? Ow!
She just went by upstairs.
What was she wearing?
Nothing.
Nothing?
I mean, I don't know but my imagination saw nothing.
I ruined my finger for his imagination?
Boy, what a set-up.
She lives all alone.
No brothers, no sisters.
No parents or husbands.
Am I thirsty.
Where are you going?
To get a glass of water and take her up on her proposition.
What proposition?
Look, Rich, why do you think she didn't want us
to wear ourselves out?
You see, Rich, with a divorcée,
all you got to do is establish a relationship.
With a glass of water?
It's a start, Rich, it's a start.
It gets you inside the house.
Then you charm your way into her private quarters.
From there, you're just one subtle move away from paradise.
You go from a glass of water to paradise?
Richard, it's a well-known fact that divorcées are very
Hot to trot I know, I know.
What are you staring about?
Yeah, what was she wearing?
Are you gonna tell us, Potsie?
A skirt and a blouse.
What's so great about a skirt and a blouse?
Well, it's the way she was wearing it.
That's it.
I'm gonna get a drink of water.
What are you taking your shirt off for?
Well, I'm gonna give her a treat
A free look at my tanned, muscular bod.
Bill Holden, Picnic.
Yeah?
Hi.
I was wondering if I could have a drink of water.
Sure, just a second.
Excuse me.
Here you are. Thanks.
Hey, you ought to put your shirt on.
You're gonna get an awful sunburn
with all that pink skin.
I had enough.
You really bowled her over, didn't you, Mr. Atlas?
Well, I got the water. It's a start.
You know you guys made me thirsty.
Aw, come on, Rich, it didn't work for me.
Yeah, your body is whiter than mine.
No, no, I'm not kidding.
I'm really thirsty.
Rich, don't ask her for a glass of water.
It'll make us look like a bunch of kids.
What am I supposed to do?
There's a hose right over there use that.
Why didn't you use the hose?
I wasn't thirsty.
How's it going, fellas?
Oh, just great.
Fine, fine.
Well, I made you some sandwiches.
There's peanut butter and jelly and bologna.
That should tide you over till I get back.
Thanks.
Aren't you gonna sunbathe or anything?
Uh, no.
No, I'm going to my ballet class and then do some shopping.
Oh, I'll be back later to pay you.
See you this afternoon.
Well, that's it for today.
What?
Sure is hot.
I'm bushed.
Come on guys, we're not finished yet.
Look, Rich, we're quitting. Are you with us?
Quitting?! We're not done.
We did our share.
That's right, Rich.
I'm being wasted here.
Not fulfilling my potential.
Listen, we promised her.
See you later, Rich.
Aw, come on, she made these sandwiches and everything.
So long. Bye.
All right.
All right, that's it.
The partnership's dissolved.
From now on, it's "Cunningham's Cheap Labor."
Left me the bologna.
Sha, la-la, la boop! ♪
Wah, wah-wah-wah-wah. ♪
Hey, great job.
Where are your friends?
Oh, they
They had to go on home, uh, to eat dinner.
Don't you eat, too?
Sure, but I wanted to finish up the job.
Finished.
You're pretty responsible, aren't you?
Oh, well
No, no, you seem much more mature than your friends.
Well, thanks.
Well, I-I am the president of the Glee Club.
You sorta have to be mature.
You know, I was president of my Glee Club?
Of course, that was ten years ago.
See? We've got a lot in common.
Yeah, yeah, that's really something.
Well, I'll put this stuff back in your garage.
I guess you have to go home and have dinner, too.
Well, yeah.
It is my menu night at home.
Huh?
See, one night every week, we get
to pick out our favorite.
Like, I picked meatloaf.
My kid sister Joanie always picks
baked macaroni and applesauce.
Oh, but you don't want to hear about that stuff.
That's silly.
Oh, no. It sounds fun.
I wish I had someone to pick menus with.
It gets a little boring eating
in front of the TV, watching Bert Parks.
Don't you go out much?
Well, I haven't lived here that long.
I don't have many friends.
Oh.
Well, maybe you'll meet some.
Pretty hard.
When someone finds out you're divorced,
you become a marked woman.
You don't look marked to me.
Think I better go.
Listen
would you consider having dinner with me?
I bought some steaks to put on the barbecue.
Well, uh well, I I really should go.
I mean, I picked the meatloaf and everything.
Oh, sure.
I understand.
I could come back.
All I have to do is wash and change my clothes.
How long will it take you?
About a half hour.
I'll put the steaks on.
Hey, maybe open up a little bottle of wine, huh?
Yeah, great.
Good food, good wine.
I'll be counting the minutes.
She didn't see that.
Ooh, ah, ooh-ah. ♪
Mom, you're not still mad, are you?
I'm not still mad because I never was mad.
You ordered this meatloaf, Richard.
You're mad.
You always call me "Richard" when you're mad.
Don't feel bad.
When she's mad at me, she calls me "brat."
Don't eat raw potato, Joanie.
Mom It'll give you worms.
Mom, look, it's a business dinner.
Since when do you put on Dad's aftershave for business?
Well, who said I'm wearing Dad's aftershave?
Are you kidding?
I can smell it over here.
The curl's falling out of my Toni.
Excuse me, dear.
Mom, look, I-I'm sorry.
I promise I'll have a big slice of the meatloaf
before I go to sleep.
Hi, everybody.
Hello, dear. Hi, Dad.
Sweetheart.
You're wearing my aftershave.
You got a date with a hot number?
Oh, no, it's just, it's a business dinner
with a client that I did some work for, that's all.
Who is he?
Well, it's a she.
I knew it.
Joanie, will you just go and watch TV till dinner's ready?
Sure, sure.
Always just when it gets good.
Don't eat raw potato, Howard.
It'll give you worms.
Mom, this lady is very lonely.
She hasn't had any company since she moved to Milwaukee.
Well, show a little compassion, Marion.
It's meatloaf night.
She's probably just some poor thing who's very lonely.
How old is she, Richard?
She's about 28.
You see, I told you.
She's just about 28.
Uh
I think maybe your mother and I would like
to know a little more about her.
Well, she's very nice.
Well, she's, she's, uh she's good-looking
for a woman of her age.
Uh, she's, she's blonde divorced.
Divorced?
You're having dinner with a divorcée?
Mom, this poor lady is alone every night day.
Listen, I won't be out long.
Uh, save me some of that meatloaf, all right, Mom?
I really want some.
You will save some?
He's having dinner with a divorcée.
Oh, come on now, Marion, they're just like anybody else.
I think.
Wow!
Richie's dating a divorced woman?
They're hot to trot.
Joanie.
Howard!
Oh, look, Marion,
now, when I was a kid, working for Mickey's Market,
I used to deliver groceries
to half the divorced women in Milwaukee.
That was different.
What do you mean, that was different?
Well, nothing happened to you.
Oh.
I don't think that'll stain.
I think I got it.
I don't know how I did that.
I guess that mushroom must've been kinda slippery.
Don't worry about it.
Oh, you're gonna think I'm a real clod.
Oh, no, I don't.
I think you're very nice.
Really? Oh!
So I'm a nice clod.
Forget it.
Look, I'm sorry.
No, no, no.
Listen, this is an old dress,
and I still think you're nice.
And I'm very glad you're here tonight.
Thanks.
I am, too, Mrs. Kimber.
Dorothy.
You know, it's no fun being lonely.
Is something wrong?
No, no, nothing.
You aren't nervous about being alone here with me, are you?
No. No, no, not at all.
Why should I be nervous?
You know,
you are the first man that I've had dinner with
since my divorce?
What's the matter?
Well, I must've swallowed something wrong.
Uh
Do you think I could get a glass of water?
Oh, sure, sure.
You boys drink a lot of water.
What are you guys doing here?!
We called your house.
They said you came over here for dinner.
You, dog, you.
Get out of here right now
I mean it or I'll clobber you.
Aw, Rich, can't we watch?
Yeah, you won't even know we're here.
Ralph, if you don't scram,
I'm gonna tell Denise you broke your date with her
so you could go out with Joyce Saturday night.
You wouldn't.
And Potsie, I covered for you that night
you were supposed to be studying for that math test.
Okay, okay, we're going.
Come on.
Ow! Ow!
Sorry. Not sorry.
Come on, Ralph. All right.
But what a party pooper.
Oh, here you are.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, yeah, that's much better; Thank you.
Good.
Would you like to sit on the swing?
Sure.
Well, this is nice.
Very nice.
Richie, have you and your friends
been talking about divorcées?
Oh, no.
No, no.
Yes.
I know what people say:
divorced women are looking for a good time,
on the make Hot to trot.
Right.
They're not?
Richie, would you forget I'm divorced?
I'm, I'm just a person,
like you're a person and, and I I need friends
like you need friends.
Can you understand that?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
I'm sorry I kissed you.
Oh, don't be sorry for that.
Should I go home?
Of course not.
I like talking to you.
They're not a lot of people
I can talk to this way.
It was something I could never do with my husband.
Really?
Oh, you don't want to hear about my marriage.
Bore you.
Oh, no, it wouldn't bore me.
I'd be very interested.
Really?
Yes.
Well, I guess there are some people
that should be married, and I was unlucky enough
to get someone who shouldn't.
You were?
Oh, he had it all figured out.
While he had fun,
I cleaned the house and had his meals ready
when he came home.
Oh, if he decided to come home.
Boy.
It's not gonna be like that when I get married.
I mean, I think that it should be two people
who love each other, but who want to do things together.
Like you've always got this really good friend
that you can share things with.
Now, isn't that right?
You know something?
I wish we weren't ten years apart.
Well, it's not that much.
I mean, if you were five years younger
and I was five years older
Come on, Rich, don't be like that.
Tell us what happened, huh?
He doesn't want to talk because he blew it.
Nothing happened, Potsie.
Right.
You guys can think anything you want.
I just don't want to talk about it.
See, he didn't blow it.
He's covering up.
He's too willing to accept the guilt.
Right. You guys are so immature.
Why, why don't you grow up?
See? He made out.
He's talking like a guy who made out.
Right, Ralph.
Fellas, there are just some things
that a guy doesn't want to talk about.
Now, someday, you'll understand, right?
Hey, Fonz.
Hey, what's shaking, Fonz? Hi, Fonz.
How's it going?
Rich here went out with a 28-year-old divorcée
and he won't tell us what happened.
Hey, that's pretty cool, Cunningham.
Don't say a word.
There's no reason these nerds should know anything.
Well, thanks, Fonz.
Yeah. Hey, little boys,
why don't you go take a walk, huh?
Go finger paint in your ice cream or something, huh?
Well, okay, Fonz. Come on, Pots.
I already ate it.
Come on, Pots.
Come on, Pots.
Oh, no, no, Cunningham, Wait a minute.
I want to tell you something.
Those guys, they tick me off, you know?
I mean, they're not cool.
They got no class, you know?
They don't understand.
Now, I, on the other hand, understand.
So I want you to sit right down here
and I want you, detail by detail,
to tell me everything that happened last night.
Come on, give, give.
This day is ours ♪
These are such happy days! ♪
Hello, sunshine, good-bye, rain ♪
She's wearing my school ring on her chain ♪
She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪