8 Simple Rules (2002) s02e19 Episode Script

1
♫ Previously on "8 Simple Rules"
I mean, the cabin at the lake
is a long-sanding
'Hennessy' family tradition.
And I just really think
we should take the time
to think about this, to be sure.
-No, -No, -No.
The 'Maeve Festival' is
more than a rock festival.
It's a spiritual event.
Mom; Give us one good reason
why you don't want us there.
Actually, I'll give you: 3.
'Sex', 'Drugs' and 'Rock & Roll'
Sold!
Here comes your perfect woman.
Oh, my God!
Mom; Can't you be reasonable?!
Let us go on our journey!
Oh, you're going on
a journey; All right.
But you're gonna
start your spiritual quest
visiting grandma in Sarasota.
This is the first plane trip
we've taken without our parents.
Yeah; Our first ever without dad.
Look! That's mom over
there with some guy!
Oh, my God! Mom's
cheating on dad!
Let's get out of here.
Hey! You forgot me!
I can't believe it.
Who was that guy?
Running after us
waving his arms? Kyle
I don't blame
him. This is his car.
The guy mom was all over!
Oh, Artie. Don't you remember?
He works at the post.
He took dad's old desk.
That's not the only
thing of dad's he took.
It all makes sense now-
All the extra shifts
she was pulling.
That's not the
only thing she was-
Never mind.
Now I know why she wanted
us to go to grandma's for a week.
She wanted to get rid of us so
she could spend time with Artie.
Ew! Artie!
Yeah; I thought she
was no fun anymore
but she was having
plenty of fun with Artie.
Ew! Artie!
She was pretty quick to
cancel our annual vacation
at the cabin by the lake
I love the cabin by the lake!
I loved it more.
And she took it from us.
How can we not see this?
How could she have
an entire relationship
right under our noses?
Kerry; Don't you see?
We were so busy with our lives,
our boyfriends, our problems.
Mom totally distracted us!
She's evil.
Oh, my Gosh; I just remembered
we left without our sandwiches.
And Kyle.
Should we go back?
- No; I'm not that hungry.
Let Kyle eat the sandwiches
I mean, I stole his
car. I guess that's fair.
Well; We'd better
go to the airport.
Oh, yeah. Let's go to grandma's
just like mom told us to.
You know, mom's doing
what she wants to do.
Let's do what we want to do.
So, we don't go to grandma's. We
don't go to the 'Maeve Festival'.
We're wandering like
'Wayfaring strangers'
What should we do?
Let's keep going.
What?
Let's keep going.
Dad; Are the girls here?
No. Why would the be here?
They left with
him.
Kerry and Bridget
drove Kyle's car,
and he had to walk all the way
home from downtown Detroit.
There were times I had to run.
My sisters are carjackers.
Like we all didn't
see that coming
I bet they went to
that 'Musical Festival'
Doubt it.
We found out it's basically a
gathering of militant women
who hate men.
Oh, and C.J.
Oh, boy! C.J.'s gonna make
a whole bunch of new friends.
Dad; The girls?
I'm sorry. I'm heartsick.
Why did they take off like that
and how did they get your keys?
Well, Kerry sort of
already had them.
What?
A student driver can't
drive with anyone under 21.
Did you try Bridget's cellphone?
No. She shut it off.
Dad; They've lied to
me; They ditched Kyle
and they stole a car.
This is totally out of character.
You're right
Bridget never turns
off her cellphone.
I'm a poor,
wayfaring stranger ♪
Something',
something', something ♪
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa ♪
Da, da, da ♪
Jordan ♪
That's not how it goes.
I'm going home ♪
Da, da, da ♪
Yeah; You nailed that one.
Should we be doing this?
Yes.
But dad always said
running away isn't the answer.
Well; It is the answer
when the question is.
"What's Bridget
and Kerry gonna do
after they catch
mom with Artie?"
You know, it's not like she's
actually cheating on dad.
She is.
Mom and dad were
supposed to be soul mates.
That means, forever
I don't know if I
believe in soul mates
I mean
what if you never
find that person?
Or
they fall in love
with someone else, or..
They die?
Maybe we're all
part of one big soul
instead of everyone
finding the perfect math.
Oh, Kerry;
I used to have the same
doubts when I was dating Kyle.
You know, you're crazy
if you think someone's
gonna ride into your life
wearing a white hat an
make everything wonderful.
Did I mention a white
hat? I don't think so.
Sounds like someone's
into guys wearing white hats.
Okay; Mom's left 8 messages.
Maybe we should call her
and let her know we're okay.
When you're
running away from home
you usually don't call mom
and let her know you're okay
Bridget; Where the hell are we?
Well, well!
"Hola, las muchachas"
[Hello, girls in Spanish)
The first tent I visit at the
Festival and it's
filled with foxes.
Why are you looking at me funny?
Oh, Hey, One at a
time. My harem scarem.
There's enough of
old C.J.'s to go around.
I'm with the band.
All right; Well, I
really appreciate that.
Yep; Thanks, Rachel.
Mom?
Who were you talking to?
Rachel Sharp.
And?
And she hasn't seen
your sisters either
I am so worried.
Is that all she said?
Well; She said she was
really concerned and that-
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did she mention me?
No.
- Son of a-!!
Rory!
- Gun!
I'm sorry!
I'm just so angry at my sisters
for putting you through this
I can't figure this out.
And I know both your
daughters real well
I think we should
call the Police
I didn't mean that well.
It's Kerry!
Give me that.
- No, no, no.
Let him handle it.
She's bound to be more
honest with her boyfriend.
Find out where they are,
and don't let on you're with us.
Got it!
Hello, Kerry!
I'm here all alone, and we're
wondering where you are.
He's with mom
I don't know, how she
could have figured it out?
Only an idiot
couldn't figure it out.
Hello!
Hi, Bridget!
We're back in business.
Why did your sister hang up
on me? There's no one here.
You want me to put
grandpa on? Okay.
No, no.. I mean,
they're-I mean-
I'll run over to your
house and get him.
Bridget! Where the hell?
I don't know
I guess Kyle's a fast runner.
Where are you?
All right; That's enough!
Just give me the phone!
All right, young lady! I'm
putting your mother on.
No. I don't want to
talk to mom, grandpa.
She knows why.
Yes; She does.
Oh, yes. She does.
Oh, ye-Listen!!
Don't worry; Okay?
We won't be crossing
any state lines.
Well, many state lines
I don't know what
this is all about
but I'm very
disappointed in your, girls.
Yeah, fine, Bridget, fine.
And
whatever you girls do
you be careful
I love you.
So?
What did you do?
Well; I don't know.
Oooh, yes; You do.
Can I ask you a question?
Uh-humm?
Are you happy?
After seeing mom with
Artie? Are you kidding?
No. I mean in general.
Well; Yeah! I guess.
Aren't you?
I don't know.
It's that 'No laughter
and music' thing.
I'm afraid there's not
fun in our family anymore
I don't even know
if there is a family.
Well; There's me and you.
Even though sometimes
they do deny it at school, but
We're family.
Bridge'?
Yeah?
I'm really glad
we're in this together.
Me too.
Remember what mom used to say?
Friends may come, friends my go.
But sisters will
be sisters forever.
Yeah.
She told me that a
lot when you stole Kyle.
Kerry?
Do you think we'll
be sisters forever?
Yes.
Yes, I do.
No; I mean, do you think
we'll be best friends forever?
Well; I hope so
I hope we're still best
friends when we get bigger.
Oh, 'Carey Beary';
You're not gonna get any bigger.
This is really cool.
It's like I get to see a
whole different side of you;
'A window, into a
complex human being'
It's the 'Journey'
Oh, my God! That
guy just winked at me.
No; It's probably
just a nervous tic.
How would you know?
Maybe he thinks I'm real-
Yeah; You're right.
Told you
Bridget, I have a
confession to make.
Even though I've
tried not to show it
and I've tried to be enlightened
I still get kind of jealous when
everyone pays attention to you
I mean, you're gorgeous and sexy
and, when you walk into
a room, all eyes are on you.
Gravy-fried gravy?!
Are you listening to me?
Yes! I'm gorgeous and sexy.
'All eyes are on me' when I walk
into a room; Blah,
blah, blah, blah!
You know what? I was wrong.
Actually, you're
exactly the same.
Not everyone thinks you're
the hottest thing around.
Darling; You're the
hottest thing around.
So, Kerry; What were you saying?
- Forget it.
Maybe this whole road
trip was a big mistake.
Wait, wait Are you
questioning 'The Journey'?
Journeys have a destination!
They have a reason
I don't know what this is.
You want to go home?
- I don't know
I just wish we had a sign.
I am a poor ♪
wayfaring stranger ♪
traveling through,
this world of woe ♪
there's no sickness, ♪
no toil, no danger ♪
in that bright
world to which I go ♪
I'm going there ♪
to see my father ♪
I'm going there ♪
no more to roam ♪
I'm a going ♪
over Jordan ♪
I'm a going ♪
over home ♪
That's incredible!
Yeah, man; We're sitting
here waiting for a sign
and that guy's distracting
us with dad's favorite song.
Sheess!
- Dad.
God! I wish dad was here -I know.
He'd look at this creepy place
and crack a few jokes and
have us laughing in no time.
So, let's laugh!
Ha, ha -Ha -Ha -Ha.
This is from Harlan.
Who's Harlan?
The guy with the blinking eye?
Who are you calling?
- Grandpa. I'm scared.
No! Give me the phone!
You cannot call grandpa every
time you get scared; Okay?
Harlan wants you
to have one, too.
Huh! Yeah scared. Let's go!
Uff!
Ohh!!
What happened to you, man?
Oh, hey, friend!
Got in a little tussle
at the Music Festival.
A group of thugs thought
they could get the best of me.
It looks like
they might have been right.
Don't you worry. I got
in a few shots of my own.
I suppose I should see
what the other guy looks like.
What other guy?
This is from Harlam.
Who's Harlan?
God! He's winking at me.
That's great-A
guy winking at a guy.
'Grampy'; I'm scared.
Okay; We're going in circles
I know we've been
down this road before.
Yeah. Like, 5 times
in the past half hour.
Ahh
Why are you stopping?
That guy hitching has
a white cowboy hat on.
You said no one
would come into my
life wearing a white cowboy hat.
You have your
signs, I have mine.
Okay; We're alone, it's
dark and I'm scared. Drive.
Why, are you stopping?
He looks like 'Brad Pitt'
-Oh! That makes it okay!
He's coming. Drive!
- Mm
Why
are you stopping?!!
There's no reason
to be afraid. Okay?!
He's just exhausted
from chasing our car.
Hi there!
Hi! Small world, but I
wouldn't want to paint it.
- Aaahh!!
- Aaahh!!
'Ah'!; The familiar sound
of women shrieking
in horror, at the sight of me.
What are you doing here?
I could ask you the
same question, 'chuckie'
We asked you first. What
happened to your eye?
Oh, yeah; Drumstick.
And that wasn't the first
place they tried to put it
I was escorted out of the 'Maeve
Festival' by femme security.
Incidentally,
'Maeve' is a warrior
goddess who'd kill 30 men a day
I'm pretty sure she's the one
that had me in the headlock.
Anyway,
I grabbed this cowboy
hat off a rodeo clown
and I haven't
stopped running since.
What's your story?
Well, we decided we didn't
want to go to grandma's
and we knew The Maeve Festival,
was a bust, and..
Oh yeah! Mom's having an affair.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Backup!
You knew The Maeve Festival was
'Kryptonite' to my
macking powers?
Guys; We are so lost.
Wait.
That looks familiar.
Yeah, you're right; It does
Oh
my
God!
It's open.
Wow
I can't believe we ended
up at the cabin by the lake
I knew we were okay on that road.
Gosh; Remember all
the times we spent here?
The 'Fourth of July'
where dad would have
us swim out to the raft
in the middle of the lake
and watch the fireworks?
Yeah; Dad trying to
teach us to bait a hook?
Ew!
Remember that
fort I built out back?
It had a working
fireplace and everything.
Remember that forest
fire we had out back?
They let me wear
a fireman's helmet.
Good times!
- Good times!
- Good times!
Oh!
C.J.; You made a fire
I did not!!
Why does everyone accuse me?!!
Oh! In the fireplace.
I did. Didn't it? That's cute.
Like when we were little.
Remind me why we didn't
want to come here again.
Kerry, Bridget
Bear!!!
Oh, girls; Thank God.
- Mom.
- Mom.
How'd you find us here?
C.J. called me.
Ahh..!
"Never pick up hitchhikers."
You two are in, so much trouble!
What are you
gonna do? Call Artie?
Who's Artie?
The man mom's having
a secret affair with.
What?!
What makes you think
I'm seeing someone?
We saw you at dad's
sandwich place with Artie.
Making your own sandwich
I was not! making a sandwich.
Actually, I was congratulating
Artie on getting engaged.
To the girl, your father
and I introduced him to!
Ohhh MMmm
Never mind.
So; Is that what I
supposedly did?
You girls had me worried sick.
We're sorry. We just
got it all wrong -Ohhhh!
I'm so mad at you!
I'm so happy you're okay. Ohh!
But I am so, so mad at you!
So, I guess this journey
was kind of meaningless.
Oh no. I don't think so.
In fact, I think this journey
actually reminded me
of what's really important.
Yeah;
What's really important is
Have either of you,
guys, talked to Rachel?
- Rory!
Well; I was worried sick
I really regretted
that I took all
those extra hours
at the hospital.
And that I let us all
go our separate ways
I wish that we'd taken
our annual vacation at-
Well
Here!
Mom's right.
If there was only some
way we could turn back time
so we could all end up here now.
You're all thinking the
same thing, aren't you?
Oh, my God! I
just figured it out.
Dad got us to the cabin
by the lake, anyway.
It's the laughter and the music
that was missing. It's here!
Yeah;
I kind of feel it, too.
So; What's your favorite
memory here; Mom?
Well;
The last time we were here,
I was in a hurry to leave.
And I called to your
dad from the car
I said, "Come on!
We have a long drive!"
He came running out with this
towel wrapped around his thumb.
The great outdoors-man had tried
to carve the name "Hennessy".
Behind that picture.
Just a little reminder
to let the world know
that, even though we rented it,
this was still our cabin.
Looks like he was carving
the "E" when he cut himself.
Oh, my God;
'Hi'.
Hi! Dad.
Hey! Dad.
Gampy; I'm scared.
Ahh There's nothing
to be scared about.
Just a coincidence.
A pretty impressive coincidence.
You know, it's been said that
"God is a comedian
playing for an
audience who's just
too afraid to laugh".
Who said that?
It's me! Kyle.
Anyone for some
'Paul Hennessy on rye'?
Oh, girls; I'm sorry, but I
really have to get back to-
I don't have to do anything.
Come on!
Come on!
All right!
Don't you hear the doorbell?
No. Certain frequencies are
like dog whistles to me.
Hi, Rory.
Hi Rachel!
So
What are you doing here?
Look,
I came to tell you
in person, that
what happened between us was
a spur-of-the-moment, thing.
That's all.
It was a-
It was
only physical.
Only physical.
That's cool!
Okay.
See ya'
Hey, Grampa! it was-
Heard every word!
oOo
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