Happy Days (1974) s02e19 Episode Script

1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
Hey ♪
I was a-splishin' and a-splashin' ♪
Whoo.
I was a-rollin' and a-strollin' ♪
Hey, I was a-movin' and a-groovin' ♪
We was a-reelin' with the feelin' ♪
We was a-rollin' and a-strollin' ♪
Movin' and a-groovin' ♪
Splish-splash ♪
Yeah! ♪
All right, that was real good.
Real good, Pots.
Thanks, Rich, but where's your dad?
He's supposed to tell us if we got the job or not.
Well, he'll be here pretty soon.
We didn't get the job. I know it.
You better be wrong.
I already spent the money we didn't earn
from the last job we didn't get.
There he is.
It always brings me luck when I hold breath.
Hi, fellas. Hi, Mr. C.
How's the rehearsal going?
Well, we sound like pros.
We didn't get the job, did we?
It sounded good with the door closed.
I knew it. We didn't get the job.
He's trying to let us down easy. Dad, did you talk
to the entertainment committee at the Lodge?
Mm-hmm.
And by a near unanimous vote of eight to one
What's the matter with him?
Oh, he's just holding his breath.
He'll be fine once you tell us the vote.
You got the job!
Aah, works every time.
I knew we'd get it.
You won't be sorry, Dad.
Mm-hmm.
Boy, I'd like to get my hands on the guy
that voted against us.
It was the Grand Poo Pah himself, Monroe Showalter.
Poopah?
Poo Pah!
You see, his son made the mistake
of auditioning his combo and you guys got the job.
I don't care how we got it.
We'll do a really great job for you, Dad.
Yeah, I'm sure you will.
Oh, uh
by the way, there is one catch to it.
You gotta wear tuxedos.
Tuxedos?
Where are we gonna get tuxedos?
We'll rent them. With what? Bottle caps?
But if we don't get the threads, we don't have the job.
Well, look, we're getting $12.50 apiece
to play the dance.
Yeah, and the tux is going to cost $15 apiece.
That's good, Rich, just fine.
Well, don't think of the money, Ralph.
Think about what it could do for our careers.
Yeah, this job could lead to other jobs
if they like us. Yeah, if they like us,
it doesn't matter if we play in jockey shorts.
Yeah. That's a good gimmick.
Look, a band's got to have a gimmick.
Your face is a gimmick.
Oh, yeah?
We, we gotta get tuxedos.
Now where we going to get tuxedos?
Maybe we stick up a funeral parlor.
Wanna turn it off?
All right, it's fixed.
Now, just remember what I told you,
warm it up before you start running it.
Yeah, yeah, all right, Fonz.
Hey, what's that frown, huh?
Someone steal the surprise out of your cereal?
No.
You see, our group got our first good job playing
for a dance at the Leopard Lodge.
Hey, there are a lot of good-looking chicks there.
Little Leopardettes.
Well, I guess, but we'll be pretty busy playing.
Are you crazy?
Chicks have a thing about musicians.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
You pick out a real classy-looking chick, huh.
You let her dance up to the bandstand
and then you mouth her a message.
What do you mouth?
"Happy Birthday," what do you think you mouth?
And that works?
Like Flynn.
Now just try it.
Well, you see, that's just it.
I don't think I'm gonna get a chance.
I don't think we're going to get the job
because we don't have tuxedos.
Now, that's tough.
Wait a minute.
You need tuxedos?
You got 'em.
Yeah? How're you going to get 'em?
You don't worry about how.
When the Fonz says he can get you tuxedos,
you just start ironing those little black socks, huh.
I'll check you later.
Yeah.
Thanks a lot, Fonz.
Hey!
Look, it's almost 6:00.
I gotta get home to eat.
He said he'd be here, he'll be here.
I wouldn't count on it.
Stealing tuxes is a risky business.
Who said he's stealing them?
Sure, he's probably knitting them.
All right, Fonz!
I knew you'd make it.
You're the best.
That's what they tell me.
Which one's the 38 regular?
Hey, don't touch the threads yet.
Now, is that something or is that something, huh?
Wow! We'll look like pros.
Potsie. Great.
Bags, Richie.
Thanks, Fonz. Look at this.
I'm gonna have to get a club to fight off the girls.
A club?
I'm gonna get a white flag and surrender.
How'd you ever do it, Fonz?
It was easy.
I made a deal with old man Miller
at the, uh, Spic and Span cleaner.
He said I could have the suits
if I break a date with his daughter.
Hey, what's that, Fonz?
A spare?
No, this is, uh, this is mine.
Yours?
Yeah, I'm gonna join your band.
Uh, what instrument are you going to play, Fonz?
Bongos.
Well
where did you learn how to play bongos?
Oh, you don't learn how to play the bongos.
You just need quick fingers.
I don't know, Fonz.
What do you mean, you don't know?
What he means is
that I don't think you can play with us, Fonz.
I hope I didn't hear you just say
that I can't join your group. No, no, no, Fonz.
I didn't say that. Did I say that guys?
Oh, no, he didn't say it.
No, it's, listen.
The thing is, Fonz, that, uh,
well, the club is only paying for a quartet.
Hey, I ain't doing it for the money.
I'm doing it for a chick.
You know Rita Chitterston?
Oh, isn't she the good-looking one
with the heart-shaped mole? Hey.
That's a beauty mark and she's nuts about me.
She is? Yeah.
She don't know it yet,
but when I lay my bongos on her,
she's gonna be mine, heart and mole.
Hey, I'll see you guys later
at the gig, huh? Hey.
Do we have to let him play?
Do we have a choice?
Of course we have a choice.
We can stand up to him.
You're right.
We don't have a choice.
I'll get it.
Joanie, will you get upstairs and get dressed.
Joanie, will you get upstairs and get dressed.
Hello? Do I have to go to that dance?
What's that? There's never any kids my age there.
Well, Herbie Showalter will be there to dance with you.
Now go on, upstairs. Oh, all right.
But I feel funny dancing with Herbie.
He's two feet shorter than me.
Up, up.
Yes, Monroe, I took care of it.
Yeah, don't worry about it, Monroe.
Listen, Mon What's that?
Don't call you Monroe? Call you the Grand Poo Pah?
Okay, good-bye, Grand Poo Pah.
How do you like that guy?
What guy, dear?
Showalter, the Grand Poo Pah.
He says he called up
to find out if I ordered the potato salad,
but I think he just wanted another chance
to give me a hard time about Richie's band.
Well, he hasn't heard Richard play.
That doesn't matter, Marion.
He thinks that all
rock and roll music is a communist plot designed
to undermine American morals.
That's silly.
Marion, why don't people dance close together anymore?
Oh, don't be such a fuddy-duddy, Howard.
Come on, let's just go out there and wiggle.
Stop that.
Not me. I'm going on a sit-down strike
until Richie plays our song.
Oh, please, it's almost over.
Well, I hope you're not going to make me dance
the "Hokey Pokey" all by myself.
They're wild about me.
What a combo I am.
Guitar, sax and dimples.
I picked one out for you.
Where?
The strawberry blonde over there
with the Veronica Lake hairdo.
Yeah, but look at the guy that she's with.
Hey, never worry about that, huh?
Just do what I told you to do.
Never fails.
Okay, now, try it again.
This time watch your timing.
Congratulations.
You just got a date with your mother.
Man, oh, man, are we a hit!
They loved us!
I think I'm getting drunk on my applause.
Maybe someone spiked the punch.
I'll tell you, if we're such a big hit,
maybe we should start thinking about more important gigs.
Yeah, we gotta start really thinking big, guys.
Sure, we could play, uh,
uh, drag races, roadhouses, strip joints, huh?
Well, I don't think that's exactly
what we had in mind, Fonz.
Hey, you want to spend your whole life playing
for middle-aged leopards?
Well, let's forget about the future.
We still have a big night ahead of us.
Yeah, they haven't even heard my song yet.
Yeah, or my bongo solo.
What solo?
My solo.
We don't have a bongo solo.
Oh, but we'll put one in, Fonz.
Yeah, a little later in the night, okay, Fonz?
I'll tell you when it fits in.
We can't wait, right, guys?
Oh, right! Oh, I can't wait, Fonz.
Right.
Now.
What?
My bongo solo.
Now.
We're in the middle of a slow dance.
Now.
What's going on?
Oh, maybe it's a new kind of dance.
Hey!
I think that should do it.
Carry on.
Hey
Richard,
I wouldn't do that again if I were you.
The Grand Poo Pah isn't too happy.
Right, Dad.
What are we gonna do?
We're never gonna get another job after this.
Well, I think the first thing
we ought to do is take a break.
We gotta do something about Fonz
or we're never gonna work again.
Yeah, tell him he's through, Richie.
Me?
I'm not the leader.
I nominate Richie for leader.
I second it. He's got my vote.
Congratulations, Rich, you're the leader.
You know, you're very special.
When I finish my bongo symphony,
I think I'm gonna dedicate it to you.
Let me tell you something.
I don't write one for every chick I meet.
Music's my whole life.
Music and, uh, legs.
He looks kind of busy. I'll talk to him later.
Do it now. We gotta get back.
Look, it can wait a few minutes.
We'll back you up. Right.
Yeah. Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey, hey!
This is a private party here.
Richie wanted to talk to you, Fonz.
See you later, Rich. Yeah, good luck, Rich.
All right, you sit tight.
And you talk fast.
I don't want her lips to cool off.
I know how much you love playing the bongos.
Hey, next to my bike, man, that's my life.
We took a secret vote and it was unanimous
and you're out of the band.
I'm out of the band?
Are you putting me on?
We just decided that the bongos weren't quite right
for our kind of group.
Hey, I, I haven't been kicked out of anything in my life
except school.
What can I say?
The guys sent me over here to tell you.
Yeah, well, let me tell you something.
I'll think about it.
Well, take your time, Fonz.
What do you mean he'll think about it?
You can't think about being thrown out of something.
Do you want to tell Fonzie that?
You're the leader.
It was a legal vote.
Look, we'd better start playing something
or the Leopards are gonna throw us out.
He's right.
Look, i-if we're lucky, he'll take the girl
up to Inspiration Point and we'll be off the hook.
Let's try playing "Splish Splash."
That'll really get 'em.
Okay, guys? All right.
Let's go.
One, two, three!
Splish-splash, I was takin' a bath ♪
Long about a Saturday night ♪
Rub-a-dub, just relaxin' in the tub ♪
Thinkin' everything was all right ♪
Well, I stepped out the tub, put my feet on the floor ♪
I wrapped the towel around me and I opened the door ♪
And then a-splish-splash, I jumped back in the bath ♪
Well, how was I to know there was a party going on? ♪
They was a-splishin' and a-splashin' ♪
Reelin' with the feelin', rollin' and a-strollin' ♪
Movin' and a groovin' ♪
Hey, yeah! ♪
Bing-bang, I saw the whole gang ♪
Dancin' on my living room rug ♪
Flip-flop, they was doin' the bop ♪
All the teens had the dancin' bug ♪
They was a-lollipoppin' with Peggy Sue ♪
What do you think?
I don't understand the lyrics, Marion.
Golly, Miss Molly was even there, too ♪
Well, a-splish-splash, I forgot about the bath ♪
I went and put my dancing shoes on ♪
Yeah, I was a-rollin' and a-strollin' ♪
Reelin' with the feelin' ♪
Movin' and a-groovin', splishin' and a-splashin' ♪
Hey, yeah! ♪
Hey I was a-splishin' and a-splashin' ♪
I was a-rollin' and a-strollin' ♪
Hey, I was a-movin' and a-groovin' ♪
We was a-reelin' with the feelin' ♪
We was a-rollin' and a-strollin' ♪
Movin' and a-groovin' ♪
Splish splash yeah. ♪
What do you know? It worked.
And what do you do now?
I don't know. Fonzie didn't tell me.
What would the Fonz do?
He'd go over and say, "Hi, I'm Fonzie. Let's neck."
I think I'd better just settle
for asking her out for a date.
Okay, Rich.
Great.
I'll get some more punch.
Okay, bye-bye.
Hi, I'm Richie Cunningham.
Hi, I'm Carol Downey.
Well, it's a pretty nice dance, isn't it?
Yeah.
The band's great, isn't it?
Well, that's kind of hard for
me to say since I'm the leader.
You are?
Didn't you see me?
I'm the one who, uh, who spoke to you.
You spoke to me?
I'm sorry.
I can't see two feet in front of me without these glasses.
Hey, you're cute.
Uh, what did you say to me?
Oh, well, uh, it was just small talk.
Listen, do you think I could call you up sometime?
I guess so.
Great. Who's your friend?
Uh, he's the leader of the band.
Trying to move in on my date?
Oh, oh, well, I see that she's not wearing a ring
or anything, so I figure she's not going steady.
Listen, pal,
I've lost three girls to smooth-talking musicians.
You know what I mean?
Well, I'm not a very smooth talker
and I'm not much of a musician either.
Now, I'm going to punch you out
as a lesson to all musicians.
Meet me at the birdbath in five minutes.
I don't even know where the birdbath is.
Ask a pigeon.
I'll be right back.
Will you still call me?
If I'm able.
Look, I did what you guys asked.
Now I need your help.
Anything, Rich. You just name it.
We're always behind our leader.
All right.
Hey, remember that girl that I winked at?
Well, it turns out that she has a boyfriend
and he just called me out.
I may need you guys' help.
All of us?
W-Well, there's strength in numbers.
Four of us against one of him.
Uh, Rich, you know, I'm a singer and, uh
I have my lips to think about.
I'd like to help you out, Rich,
but who can play with broken hands?
That's right, Rich,
and I can't play the sax with no teeth.
It destroys the gums.
Hey, you showed up.
Great.
We were betting you wouldn't.
Look, couldn't we talk about this?
Yeah, we can talk talk.
And then me and my friends are going to punch you out.
You see, at one time or another,
we've all been dumped for musicians.
We all got a lot of hate.
Fonzie!
Hey, Ralph told me something was up.
Hey, buddy, I'd get lost if I were you.
First of all, my name ain't Buddy,
and second of all, you ain't me, you creep,
and, uh, since you don't go too much for talking,
how about if I put my knuckles where your mouth is?
You think you can take the three of us?
Well, we'll never know.
Two of you left.
Well, uh, that's not a fair fight.
I mean, it's, it's two against one.
Fonz, am I glad you showed up.
Oh, yeah, you kicked me out of your band.
Now you're glad to see me.
Yeah, you're right.
Listen, thanks.
Hey, I'm responsible for your tuxedo, huh?
I don't want to see it get messed up.
Listen, I'm sorry about kicking you out of the band.
We were worried because you played so loud.
But I don't care.
If you want to play the bongos, you're in.
Yeah, I knew you wouldn't fence me out.
Besides, I solved the problem.
How are we gonna play if he doesn't make it?
Don't worry. He can handle himself.
Yeah, but can he handle the other guy?
Hey, here he comes.
What happened?
Hey
All right, guys, this is our last set,
so let's give them all we've got, all right?
I'm ready to jam.
Wait a minute.
What if he does another solo?
Yeah, I thought we decided
We decided that I'm leader, and I say that he plays.
Hey, don't give my man here a hard time, huh?
And besides, I solved the loudness problem.
I need two cummerbunds.
What? Cummerbunds!
This is gonna slightly muffle my genius.
All right.
Thanks.
All right, let's wail.
Oh, look, Howard, they're doing the bunny hop.
Let's join in.
Forget it, Marion.
I'm not going to hop around
like a jumping bean gone berserk.
It's not dignified.
You never want to dance, Howard.
You'd have an awful lot more fun
if you'd just learn to participate.
M-Marion!
Howard! Ha!
Oh, I'm hungry.
I'm gonna get some corn flakes.
Yeah, hitting all those clinkers
gave you an appetite, huh?
I didn't hit any clinkers.
Listen, I saw you dancing
with that little shrimp all night.
Mom, he's making fun of me.
Herbie can't help it if he's a shrimp.
It's all right, Joanie.
Good things come in little packages.
Like your father He's a little package.
That's right; Make fun of me, Marion.
Nobody cares about me.
I spent five minutes out in that car
and not one person offered to help me.
Is your back still out, dear?
No, Marion, I just find a lot of loose change this way.
It must be all that hopping.
Don't touch me, Marion.
Oh
Yeah, the same thing happened to Jane Kipsey's dad.
He didn't hop again for a month.
Your dad's in great shape.
You remember when we used to do the Charleston?
Ah Oh, Marion.
Marion, I, I, I, I wouldn't.
Oh my back.
Well, I think we can call it a night.
Okay, I'll help you.
Easy, Richard. Come on, Dad.
Aah!
Oh, children are such a comfort,
aren't they, hot legs?
Right, Hopalong.
This day is ours ♪
These are such happy days ♪
Hello, sunshine, good-bye, rain ♪
She's wearing my school ring on her chain ♪
She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
This day is ours ♪
Won't you be mine? ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
This day is ours ♪
Oh, please be mine ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪