Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s02e19 Episode Script
Tale of the Demon Tail
1
Jade, captain black
pulled strings
to get you a seat
in the dugout.
Why aren't you
watching the game?
T'ch, and miss
the real excitement?
You mean danger. The dark hand
is here somewhere
looking for a demon portal.
So, if they open,
you just toot the flute
and high-fly the demon
out of the park,
back where he belongs.
Do you have everything you
need for the sky demon
chi spell, uncle?
Bat wing dust,
lotus oil,
hummingbird saliva,
root beer.
Root beer?
Sorry. Mine.
Oh, that's
your fifth soda.
One for every Fenway frank.
Had to wash 'em down
with something.
I do not know
where she puts it all.
Ooh, pit stop.
You have to do this now?
Hello
5 sodas.
Whoa, boss. We can't go
where no man has gone
before.
We are not going in, fool.
Hsi wu, the sky demon,
is coming out.
Jade.
Jade.
Tohru, we must prepare
the chi spell.
Jade!
Ta-da-da-da-da-da
charge!
I'm sorry. I'll pay for these
later. Thank you.
Get your programs?
Foul!
Uncle.
Hold your horses!
Welcome back, hsi wu.
(Bat hits ball,
crowd cheers)
The crowd roars for me?
Uncle
Hehhhhh
Hyahhhh! Hyah!
Ahh
GetBackIn.
Come on, come on, come on.
About time.
(Chi chanting)
The old man.
(Uncle continues
chanting)
Add these to our bill.
(Humming)
I am never going back,
mortal.
(Uncle still chanting)
It appears
I am here to stay.
Jade's been in the dugout,
but she's back in the game.
Aah!
Ow.
(Hissing)
Jade, don't open the door.
Duh!
Now?
Please.
(Plays)
(Grunts)
Retrieve my tail.
It didn't work.
Of course it did not work.
The demon is out of range.
The tail.
I don't care if you are
wearing a dress, valmont.
You are not going in
the little girls' room.
AchAhh
Captain black,
aren't you out of
your jurisdiction?
Let's just say
we love the Red Sox.
Jackie
Check it out.
(Gremlin sounds)
Aiyaaaa!
Jackie,
restrain the tail.
Ooh, I'm trying, uncle.
Aiy, aiy, aiy!
I don't think it
likes you, Jackie.
Oh.
Ooh-hoo, get it off.
Get it off of me.
The tail seeks its owner:
Hsi wu, the sky demon.
Hotcha.
(Gremlin sounds cease)
This box is now protected
by a chi spell.
Bad magic cannot touch it.
Until we devise a way to use
the tail to our advantage
We must be very cautious.
This chi powder will also keep
any demon from entering
Unless they are invited.
Ow. (Hisses)
So, I need
an invitation, do I?
Hey, Jade, you going
to the spring dance
Friday night?
Was thinking about it.
Well, who you gonna
go with, a ninja?
Or do you only fight 'em?
Hyah, hyah, hyah!
T'ch, you're a riot, drew.
(Laughter)
Hey, drew, who you gonna with,
your mother?
(Stammers) N-no.
I--I--I
Mama's boy.
Thanks, uh
I'm hsi wS-s-Seymour
wuJahoositz.
Jade chan.
You must be new.
Yeah, I just flew into town.
So, Jade, is it true?
Of course. What?
Do you really fight ninjas?
You bet.
And Jackie
was knocking them off
the roller-coaster tracks.
That is so awesome.
T'ch, that was nothing.
Lately, Jackie's been taking
on way worse than ninjas.
Like what?
Well, you probably
won't believe this,
but yesterday,
we captured
part of a demon.
No way.
Way. Wanna see it?
You bet.
(Dings)
Uh, maybe we shouldn't.
I wouldn't wanna get you
into trouble.
T'ch, trouble follows me.
Come on in.
Ok.
I guarantee you've never
seen anything like this.
You'd be surprised, Jade.
Freaky, huh?
Jade, what are you doing?
(Gasps)
And who are you?
Uncle, what's going on?
Jade opened the box with
the "you know what" inside.
Jade, you know
you're not supposed
to open the box
with the
"you know what" inside.
Jade, didn't open it.
I did.
Hmm, bad magic
cannot touch good.
Show me your burn marks,
demon boy.
I didn't mean to cause
any trouble, sir.
I just wanted to see
the "you know what"
inside.
(Grumbles)
This is Seymour.
Hi.
Hello.
Well, it was nice
meeting everybody.
This friend of Jade's
is too polite.
Uncle, Jade finally has
a friend her own age.
This could keep her away
from portals and demons.
Seymour, thanks
for taking the hit.
Nobody's ever
done that for me.
Hey, what are friends for?
Well, see you tomorrow?
Probably.
(Sighs)
Ow. Until tomorrow, then.
Seymour's
loads more fun than any
of the other kids at school.
We like the same things,
and he actually listens
to me.
We're like yin and Yang,
Yang and yin.
Good and evil?
Left and right. 2 parts
of the same whole. Duh.
I'm just not sure
if Seymour knows it.
Why don't you ask him
to the school dance?
EwwLike on a date?
We're friends.
Besides, what if he says no?
Since the tail
wants to find its owner,
I will coat it with the proper
chi spell ingredients
Then release it and let it
lead us to hsi wu
Where it will reattach,
infusing the demon with
the chi spell
Which I will activate
by blowing the flute.
Aiyaah!
Blow only once
the tail attaches.
What's all that, uncle?
Mung bean sandwiches
for the trip.
Trip?
The sky demon could
be halfway around
the globe by now.
So, we going inside to study?
Maybe later.
I--I have something
I wanna give you first.
See? It's
a friendship medallion.
You know, 2 halves
of the same coin.
Gee, I'd love to see how I--
how we look in them.
Do you have a mirror inside?
You really like it?
You can wear it
to the spring dance.
I'd wear mine, but I don't
know if I'm going. Are you?
Me? Why would I--
well, actually,
I was thinking
about going,
but I need
to call my mother first
and get her permission.
I guess I'll have to go
inside to use your phone.
No prob.
We got a dog?
Interesting camouflage,
uncle.
I smell a spell.
Strike.
Ahh, hsi wu. I told you
I did not like him.
You'reYou're
A demon? Still wanna go
to the dance with me?
Not. Unh.
No! After the tail
attaches.
Ohh!
Yeee!
You will remove the spell
from my tail, dear uncle,
or perish.
Jackie: Uncle!
Jade, go back
to section 13.
But this is personal.
All the more reason.
Promise me.
GrrrPromise.
What have you done
to my tail, sly uncle?
Ancient proverb--
none of your beeswax.
I am in no mood for games.
Now remove your spell
from my tail,
or you will wish
you had wings.
What is hexed
cannot be unhexed.
Then cast
another spell. Ow!
How can I cast a spell
without my spell books?
Ohh
Hsi wu went this way.
We need wings to find uncle.
The sky demon.
My mistake.
Shoo.
Mung bean.
From uncle's sandwich?
A trail of mung beans.
Fight fire with fire.
Find yin with Yang.
Greetings, brother wu.
Did you bring them?
The geezer's books.
Right here.
Nosebleed city.
Well, you have your texts.
Seek a spell.
These are not
my reading glasses.
Grrr
Gaah!
Uncle, run.
Where to?
Get chan!
(Grunts)
Huh? What the--
hey, friend.
Wanna dance?
Let's.
Hyah!
Ohh!
You! But how?
Talisman math:
Levitation plus speed
equals flight.
AhhJade!
What are you--
how did you--
where did you--
talk later.
Gaah! Unh!
Unh. Jackie
Zipper is stuck!
My tail.
Aiyeeeaaahhh!
Ahh, uncle!
Ah, thank you.
Jade, you must release
hsi wu's tail.
You got it.
Uncle's cool.
I'll find my own spell.
Mine.
Grrr
Ha ha. Nougat.
Unh. It won't open.
Aah!
The choice is yours,
Jackie chan.
Crash or burn.
(Strains)
Yes.
Jackie, time to toot.
I want my tail.
All yours.
No, wait.
Aah!
(Uncle chanting)
TailsYou lose.
(Chanting chi)
Once more
with feeling.
(Really blows)
So long, Seymour.
I told you that boy
was too polite.
Uncle, shh, shh.
I'm sorry, Jade.
I know you wanted to go
to the dance tonight.
T'ch, so I could do
the funky chicken
with a demon?
Dream on.
(Sighs) You were right about
the good and evil thing, t.
There will be
other dances, Jade.
Dance schmance.
I am so over Seymour.
I just miss having
someone around who listens.
Hmm
Someone like you.
Yin and Yang.
Big and small.
You and me.
-Hey, Jackie,
-yes
what do you like
to put on your pizza?
One--only one kind--
pepperoni.
Double pepperoni.
Very thin one.
And well, well done.
And very hot.
That's all. Yeah.
Jade, captain black
pulled strings
to get you a seat
in the dugout.
Why aren't you
watching the game?
T'ch, and miss
the real excitement?
You mean danger. The dark hand
is here somewhere
looking for a demon portal.
So, if they open,
you just toot the flute
and high-fly the demon
out of the park,
back where he belongs.
Do you have everything you
need for the sky demon
chi spell, uncle?
Bat wing dust,
lotus oil,
hummingbird saliva,
root beer.
Root beer?
Sorry. Mine.
Oh, that's
your fifth soda.
One for every Fenway frank.
Had to wash 'em down
with something.
I do not know
where she puts it all.
Ooh, pit stop.
You have to do this now?
Hello
5 sodas.
Whoa, boss. We can't go
where no man has gone
before.
We are not going in, fool.
Hsi wu, the sky demon,
is coming out.
Jade.
Jade.
Tohru, we must prepare
the chi spell.
Jade!
Ta-da-da-da-da-da
charge!
I'm sorry. I'll pay for these
later. Thank you.
Get your programs?
Foul!
Uncle.
Hold your horses!
Welcome back, hsi wu.
(Bat hits ball,
crowd cheers)
The crowd roars for me?
Uncle
Hehhhhh
Hyahhhh! Hyah!
Ahh
GetBackIn.
Come on, come on, come on.
About time.
(Chi chanting)
The old man.
(Uncle continues
chanting)
Add these to our bill.
(Humming)
I am never going back,
mortal.
(Uncle still chanting)
It appears
I am here to stay.
Jade's been in the dugout,
but she's back in the game.
Aah!
Ow.
(Hissing)
Jade, don't open the door.
Duh!
Now?
Please.
(Plays)
(Grunts)
Retrieve my tail.
It didn't work.
Of course it did not work.
The demon is out of range.
The tail.
I don't care if you are
wearing a dress, valmont.
You are not going in
the little girls' room.
AchAhh
Captain black,
aren't you out of
your jurisdiction?
Let's just say
we love the Red Sox.
Jackie
Check it out.
(Gremlin sounds)
Aiyaaaa!
Jackie,
restrain the tail.
Ooh, I'm trying, uncle.
Aiy, aiy, aiy!
I don't think it
likes you, Jackie.
Oh.
Ooh-hoo, get it off.
Get it off of me.
The tail seeks its owner:
Hsi wu, the sky demon.
Hotcha.
(Gremlin sounds cease)
This box is now protected
by a chi spell.
Bad magic cannot touch it.
Until we devise a way to use
the tail to our advantage
We must be very cautious.
This chi powder will also keep
any demon from entering
Unless they are invited.
Ow. (Hisses)
So, I need
an invitation, do I?
Hey, Jade, you going
to the spring dance
Friday night?
Was thinking about it.
Well, who you gonna
go with, a ninja?
Or do you only fight 'em?
Hyah, hyah, hyah!
T'ch, you're a riot, drew.
(Laughter)
Hey, drew, who you gonna with,
your mother?
(Stammers) N-no.
I--I--I
Mama's boy.
Thanks, uh
I'm hsi wS-s-Seymour
wuJahoositz.
Jade chan.
You must be new.
Yeah, I just flew into town.
So, Jade, is it true?
Of course. What?
Do you really fight ninjas?
You bet.
And Jackie
was knocking them off
the roller-coaster tracks.
That is so awesome.
T'ch, that was nothing.
Lately, Jackie's been taking
on way worse than ninjas.
Like what?
Well, you probably
won't believe this,
but yesterday,
we captured
part of a demon.
No way.
Way. Wanna see it?
You bet.
(Dings)
Uh, maybe we shouldn't.
I wouldn't wanna get you
into trouble.
T'ch, trouble follows me.
Come on in.
Ok.
I guarantee you've never
seen anything like this.
You'd be surprised, Jade.
Freaky, huh?
Jade, what are you doing?
(Gasps)
And who are you?
Uncle, what's going on?
Jade opened the box with
the "you know what" inside.
Jade, you know
you're not supposed
to open the box
with the
"you know what" inside.
Jade, didn't open it.
I did.
Hmm, bad magic
cannot touch good.
Show me your burn marks,
demon boy.
I didn't mean to cause
any trouble, sir.
I just wanted to see
the "you know what"
inside.
(Grumbles)
This is Seymour.
Hi.
Hello.
Well, it was nice
meeting everybody.
This friend of Jade's
is too polite.
Uncle, Jade finally has
a friend her own age.
This could keep her away
from portals and demons.
Seymour, thanks
for taking the hit.
Nobody's ever
done that for me.
Hey, what are friends for?
Well, see you tomorrow?
Probably.
(Sighs)
Ow. Until tomorrow, then.
Seymour's
loads more fun than any
of the other kids at school.
We like the same things,
and he actually listens
to me.
We're like yin and Yang,
Yang and yin.
Good and evil?
Left and right. 2 parts
of the same whole. Duh.
I'm just not sure
if Seymour knows it.
Why don't you ask him
to the school dance?
EwwLike on a date?
We're friends.
Besides, what if he says no?
Since the tail
wants to find its owner,
I will coat it with the proper
chi spell ingredients
Then release it and let it
lead us to hsi wu
Where it will reattach,
infusing the demon with
the chi spell
Which I will activate
by blowing the flute.
Aiyaah!
Blow only once
the tail attaches.
What's all that, uncle?
Mung bean sandwiches
for the trip.
Trip?
The sky demon could
be halfway around
the globe by now.
So, we going inside to study?
Maybe later.
I--I have something
I wanna give you first.
See? It's
a friendship medallion.
You know, 2 halves
of the same coin.
Gee, I'd love to see how I--
how we look in them.
Do you have a mirror inside?
You really like it?
You can wear it
to the spring dance.
I'd wear mine, but I don't
know if I'm going. Are you?
Me? Why would I--
well, actually,
I was thinking
about going,
but I need
to call my mother first
and get her permission.
I guess I'll have to go
inside to use your phone.
No prob.
We got a dog?
Interesting camouflage,
uncle.
I smell a spell.
Strike.
Ahh, hsi wu. I told you
I did not like him.
You'reYou're
A demon? Still wanna go
to the dance with me?
Not. Unh.
No! After the tail
attaches.
Ohh!
Yeee!
You will remove the spell
from my tail, dear uncle,
or perish.
Jackie: Uncle!
Jade, go back
to section 13.
But this is personal.
All the more reason.
Promise me.
GrrrPromise.
What have you done
to my tail, sly uncle?
Ancient proverb--
none of your beeswax.
I am in no mood for games.
Now remove your spell
from my tail,
or you will wish
you had wings.
What is hexed
cannot be unhexed.
Then cast
another spell. Ow!
How can I cast a spell
without my spell books?
Ohh
Hsi wu went this way.
We need wings to find uncle.
The sky demon.
My mistake.
Shoo.
Mung bean.
From uncle's sandwich?
A trail of mung beans.
Fight fire with fire.
Find yin with Yang.
Greetings, brother wu.
Did you bring them?
The geezer's books.
Right here.
Nosebleed city.
Well, you have your texts.
Seek a spell.
These are not
my reading glasses.
Grrr
Gaah!
Uncle, run.
Where to?
Get chan!
(Grunts)
Huh? What the--
hey, friend.
Wanna dance?
Let's.
Hyah!
Ohh!
You! But how?
Talisman math:
Levitation plus speed
equals flight.
AhhJade!
What are you--
how did you--
where did you--
talk later.
Gaah! Unh!
Unh. Jackie
Zipper is stuck!
My tail.
Aiyeeeaaahhh!
Ahh, uncle!
Ah, thank you.
Jade, you must release
hsi wu's tail.
You got it.
Uncle's cool.
I'll find my own spell.
Mine.
Grrr
Ha ha. Nougat.
Unh. It won't open.
Aah!
The choice is yours,
Jackie chan.
Crash or burn.
(Strains)
Yes.
Jackie, time to toot.
I want my tail.
All yours.
No, wait.
Aah!
(Uncle chanting)
TailsYou lose.
(Chanting chi)
Once more
with feeling.
(Really blows)
So long, Seymour.
I told you that boy
was too polite.
Uncle, shh, shh.
I'm sorry, Jade.
I know you wanted to go
to the dance tonight.
T'ch, so I could do
the funky chicken
with a demon?
Dream on.
(Sighs) You were right about
the good and evil thing, t.
There will be
other dances, Jade.
Dance schmance.
I am so over Seymour.
I just miss having
someone around who listens.
Hmm
Someone like you.
Yin and Yang.
Big and small.
You and me.
-Hey, Jackie,
-yes
what do you like
to put on your pizza?
One--only one kind--
pepperoni.
Double pepperoni.
Very thin one.
And well, well done.
And very hot.
That's all. Yeah.