The Brady Bunch (1969) s02e19 Episode Script

1
Here's the story
Of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up
Three very lovely girls
All of them had hair of gold ♪
Like their mother
The youngest one in curls ♪
It's the story of a man named Brady ♪
Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
They were four men living all together ♪
Yet they were all alone
Till the one day when
The lady met this fellow
And they knew that it was
Much more than a hunch
That this group must
Somehow form a family
That's the way we all
Became the Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch
That's the way we became
The Brady Bunch.
This is Ken Jones, your mobile reporter.
A junior high school
may seem a strange place
to find your reporter this afternoon,
but the young girls of today
are the women of tomorrow,
and we'd like to get their
thoughts on a subject
of increasing interest
to women of all ages:
the women's liberation movement.
Would you mind telling me
your name, young lady?
Judy Winters.
Well, Judy, what do you
think of women's lib?
Do you think girls are the equal of boys
in every respect?
Well, gee, I never really
thought about it much.
I see.
How about you?
What's your name?
Marcia Brady.
Marcia, do you feel girls
are the equal of boys?
Well, if we're all supposed
to be created equal,
I guess that means girls as well as boys.
Then I take it you're
for women's liberation.
I guess I am.
Do you have any brothers, Marcia?
Yes, sir. Three.
Do you think you can do
everything they can do?
Well, I think I should have
the chance to try.
Tell me this:
Do they put you down sometimes?
I mean, just because you're a girl?
They sure do, and it's not fair.
Do you think
girls should do something about that?
We certainly should.
( Girls cheering )
Well, thank you, girls.
Be sure to watch yourselves
tonight on the Early News.
How about you, girls?
Wow! We're going to be
on television tonight.
Yeah.
What you said about boys
If my father and brother
heard me talk like that,
they'd clobber me.
You sure are brave.
Oh, no.
What's the matter?
I'm not brave.
I'm stupid.
ANNOUNCER: And now,
stay tuned for the Early News.
What do you want?
We want to watch television.
To get the ball scores.
Well, the TV set's broken.
It was all right this afternoon.
Let me take a look.
Hey, she's right.
It is broken.
For crying out loud, the plug is out.
There.
And today our mobile reporter visited
( hits switch )
What's the matter with you?
I thought I heard Alice call us to dinner.
I didn't hear anything.
Well, Judy, what do you
think of women's lib?
That's Judy Winters!
Equal of boys in every respect?
( Hits switch )
Will you quit fooling around?
( Chuckles )
Marcia, do you feel girls
are the equal of boys?
Hey, that's you.
Well, if we're all supposed
to be created equal,
I guess that means girls as well as boys.
How did you get on TV?!
MARCIA: I guess I am.
Bobby, go tell Mom
and Dad Marcia's on TV.
Do you have any brothers, Marcia?
Yes, sir, I have three.
Do you think you can do
everything they can do?
Well, I think I should
have the chance to try.
She looks good.
Shh! Shh!
Tell me this:
Do they put you down sometimes
I mean, just because you're a girl?
They sure do, and it's not fair.
Do you think girls
should do something about that?
We certainly should.
( Girls cheer )
I agree with that.
Well, thank you, girls.
Be sure to watch yourselves tonight
on the Early News.
How do you like that?
First time my sister gets on TV,
she sounds like a kook.
What do you mean, "kook"?
( Clears throat )
Tell me, Miss, can you
do anything boys can do?
( Falsetto ): Yes, sir. Anything.
And how about you, Miss?
( Falsetto ): Oh, yes, sir. Me, too.
Hey, hey, hey. Cool it, cool it.
Greg, that's enough.
I just meant that girls should
have the same chance as boys.
I'd like to see you prove
you can do anything boys can do.
Okay, then, I'll prove it.
Oh, yeah? How?
I'll think of something.
Okay, boys, time to wash up for dinner.
Come on.
You heard your mother.
BOBBY ( falsetto ): Oh, I
can do anything boys can do.
Are you angry with me for what I said?
Well, of course not, dear.
What about you, Dad?
No, honey. I think you
have a right to your opinion.
Good, 'cause I meant everything I said.
( Chuckles )
Kids.
They get wound up about
the craziest things.
Well, I don't think women's lib is crazy.
Oh, I didn't mean it was crazy.
I just meant
well mmm
What?
Well, some of the things
they want are pretty far out.
Don't you think so?
Well, I've never gone out marching,
but I do believe in some of their causes.
Mrs. Brady, should I put these rolls in?
Alice, what do you think
about women's lib?
Don't you think women are entitled
to the same opportunities as men?
Uh well, uh
Go on. Speak right up.
I don't think it's a bad idea.
Alice, uh
On the other hand, I didn't say
it was a good idea either.
I'll put these rolls in.
I didn't realize it was this late.
We'd better hurry up and have dinner.
I don't want to be late
for Greg's Council meeting tonight.
Mike, we didn't finish our conversation.
Yeah, well, honey, I don't want to be late
for the Frontier Scouts meeting.
After all, I'm Council Master this year.
Chicken.
( Clucking )
Life around here
is going to be impossible
till I can find a way to put
those boys in their places.
But how?
I wish I knew. Especially Greg.
Tell him what you think of him.
I'll go with you.
Me, too.
He's not home.
He went to one
of his dumb old meetings.
Boys are always going
to dumb old meetings.
Why are the meetings so dumb?
Because they're all boys.
No girls.
Hey! That's it.
What? I don't get it.
Me neither.
You might not get it but,
believe me, they will.
And Lloyd, he didn't know
that I was tracking him, see,
'cause I stepped on a stick
and he must have thought it was a bear
'cause he took off like it was a drag race.
Marcia, what are you doing here?
You'll see.
Hey, honey.
Oh, something wrong at home?
Nothing, Dad.
Oh, Stan, I'm sorry.
This is my daughter Marcia.
Marcia, Mr. Jacobsen.
What, you need to talk to me
about something?
Yes.
I want to join the Frontier Scouts.
You want to do what?
Oh, well, I, uh
I don't think I understand.
I think I do.
Would you excuse us for a minute?
Marcia, not that
women's lib business again?
Dad, unless there's
a very good reason why I can't,
I want to join Greg's Frontier Scouts.
Well?
Well, I can't find a thing.
How about you, Stan?
There's nothing here, Mike.
Um fellas, I, uh
I'm afraid there's
nothing in the regulations
that says that a Frontier
Scout has to be a boy.
( Boys groaning )
I'm afraid, uh, we've just
always assumed it was for boys.
Well
that being the case
Marcia, here's your handbook.
But, before you can
become a Frontier Scout,
you have to pass a field initiation test.
You'll find all the requirements in there.
Well, thanks, everybody.
I'll see you all at the next meeting.
Bye.
She's really flipped her lid.
That's the craziest thing
I've ever heard of.
I'm afraid Marcia doesn't feel that way.
I'll show her.
I'll show her just how dumb it is.
How come girls do dumb things,
and they don't even know it's dumb?
'Cause they're dumb.
There's got to be some way
to show Marcia how silly she looks
trying to be a Frontier Scout.
Why did she have to start all this for?
What's the matter
with her own girls' club?
Well, the Sunflower Girls are girls.
She wants to be a boy.
She has to
The Sunflower Girls!
What?
Her club.
I wonder how she'd like
some of her own medicine.
What do you mean?
What if I joined the Sunflower Girls?
That would show her.
Hey, that's wild.
Can boys get in?
There's one way to find out.
Hey, he's got it.
Nobody was in the room,
so I sneaked it out.
Well, what does it say?
Boy, this is really going to get her.
Marcia's going to flip.
Yeah, there, there.
Here it is.
Nope. There's nothing in the guidebook
that says a Sunflower Girl
has to be a girl.
Then you can join!
Yeah.
Oh, no.
What's the matter?
Well, it doesn't say
anything about being a girl,
but listen to this.
"A Sunflower must be of good character
and between the ages of ten and 14."
I'm too old.
And it was such a great idea.
I'd do it, but I'm not ten yet.
Oh, no. Not me.
I'm not going to be any Sunflower Girl.
But you got to, Pete.
No chance. No way!
How come it was okay for Greg?
That was different.
This isn't just for me.
This is a chance to fight back for all men.
And for all boys.
For all mankind.
Me? A Sunflower Girl?
Peter a Sunflower Girl?
It'll really show Marcia
how silly she looks for joining my club.
That's a pretty wild idea.
How do you feel about that?
Sillier than Marcia will.
But you got to, Pete.
Well, what do you think, Dad?
No, that's your affair.
You guys keep me out of this.
Come on, Pete. Please.
Well, okay.
Neato.
Now, listen, I don't want
this thing to get out of hand.
It won't, Dad.
He probably won't have to join
the Sunflower Girls.
When we tell Marcia,
she'll back out of her whole dumb idea.
Good luck.
MARCIA: Out, two, three, four
( Alice sputtering )
In, two, three, four
out, two, three, four
in, two, three, four
I thought that mouth-
to-mouth resuscitation
was the going thing these days.
We have to learn both ways
for our initiation test.
Oh( gasping )
Out, two, three, four
in, two, three, four
How about a little break?
I'd like to get some dinner
while I still have some breath left.
We can practice the fireman's carry
and the leg splints later.
Do we have to?
Alice, I'm not doing this just for me.
It's for all women.
Don't you want to be liberated?
Liberated, yes.
Lacerated, no.
Hey, have I got a news flash for you.
Yeah, a news flash.
If you're joining the Frontier Scouts,
Peter's going to join
your Sunflower Girls.
What?
That's right, isn't it, Pete?
Yep, that's right.
What do you think of that?
I think it's great.
Great?!
Peter, at least you see my point.
There isn't any reason
why we all can't join
whatever group we want to.
There's a big meeting tonight,
and I'll introduce you to all the girls.
And you're just in time
for the big cookie sale.
I'll even lend you my uniform.
Mike, is Peter really
joining the Sunflower Girls?
Well, it looks that way, honey.
But that's ridiculous.
Sure, it is.
It's not any more ridiculous
than Marcia joining the Frontier Scouts.
Oh, yes, but Marcia's really serious
about this women's lib business.
What about men's lib?
Don't you think men ought to be free
to do what men do best?
Sure, and I think
women ought to do what women do best,
but there are some things
that men and women do equally well.
I agree with that, especially one thing.
What's that?
You pucker up,
and I'm going to show you.
Stop it.
Watch the coffee.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
What's in the boxes?
Just just some stuff.
I said it's just some stuff.
Sunflower Girl cookies.
What's that?
Marcia's uniform.
You're going to wear it?
Are you kidding?
Pete, it's part of our deal.
I won't wear any skirt,
and I won't sell any cookies.
You have to do it.
Marcia only went along with this
because she thought you'd chicken out.
Yeah. Let her chicken out.
Right. Call her bluff.
Well
You don't have to wear the skirt.
Okay.
We'll even help you sell the cookies.
Come on, let's get dressed.
Maybe there's nobody home.
Ring the bell and find out.
And remember what you have to say.
Do I have to say that?
Peter, if Marcia finds out
you didn't go strictly
by the rules, we're sunk.
I'm making her go by the rules
for the Frontier Scouts.
Okay.
And smile.
Yeah?
I am a little Sunflower,
sunny, brave and true.
From tiny bud to blossom,
I do good deeds for you.
Are you kidding?
No, sir.
Would you like to buy my cookies?
Cookies?
A dollar a box.
It's for the Sunflower Girls.
You're putting me on.
Are are we on one of them, uh
hidden-camera shows?
No, sir.
Whoever sells the most
cookies wins the contest.
And, uh, what do you get if you win?
I get to be Blossom of the Month.
You're really serious?
Yes, sir. Would you like
to buy my cookies?
I'll take a box, kid.
You will?
Yeah.
I hate cookies, but I admire your nerve.
"Blossom of the Month."
( laughing )
That's it. I quit.
I don't care if Marcia
gets to be president!
What do we do now?
I'll think of something.
Marcia's supposed to take
her initiation test
tomorrow on the camp-out.
Can't you goof up her test some way?
Nah, that wouldn't be fair.
But I can make her stick
to every single rule.
One slip just one
mistake and she's out.
Hey, this looks like a pretty good spot.
Yeah, yeah, just fine.
Okay, fellas, let's get unloaded.
What are you doing sitting down?
Don't we get a chance to rest now?
Not yet. We got to put up our tents first.
Oh. Okay.
How long you going to
give her to put it up?
Take it easy, Greg.
There's nothing in the guidebook
that says we have
to put a time limit on it.
There. How's that?
Well, I have to say that's not bad.
What's my next test?
Not much. Just a few simple little things.
She'll flunk for sure.
Oh, what's the use?
I'm only supposed to have a concussion.
How am I going to breathe?
Through your mouth.
Are you sure you don't want a breather?
No, thanks, Dad.
If boys can do it, so can I.
GREG: She'll never make it in time.
( All chuckling )
MIKE: You did blaze a
proper trail for her to follow?
Oh, sure, Dad.
Of course, some of the marks
I left may be a little small.
( Cackling )
Come here.
You've been giving Marcia
a hard time through this whole thing,
and she's been a pretty good sport.
I just wanted to show her that
trying to join the Frontier
Scouts is a kooky idea.
Well, kooky or not,
she's given it a pretty good go.
I guess. But, if she passes this,
I'll personally invite
every girl I know to join.
You better start making out
your invitations.
She made it in time.
With a minute to spare.
Hey, you okay, sweetheart?
Dad, you don't call Frontier
Scouts sweetheart, but I'm okay.
How did she do, Stan?
Well, she found every sign that
Greg left for her to follow.
I don't know how she did it.
I got lost twice myself.
Well, she passed every test.
You ought to be the one
to tell her the good news.
Okay.
Marcia, you made it.
Marcia
Well, how do you like that?
Most guys would be jumping
around yelling their heads off.
My kooky sister goes to sleep.
I still don't see why we all can't go.
Honey, the initiation ceremony
is just for the Frontier Scouts.
But this is a big victory for us girls.
From now on, we'll be
treated the same as boys.
At your age, that's victory.
At mine, it's defeat.
Marcia down here yet?
She'll be down in a minute.
It always takes girls longer.
You see? Girls.
Okay, okay. Marcia!
MARCIA: Yes, Dad?
How come you're not in your uniform?
Is something wrong, honey?
I called Mr. Jacobsen
to tell him I'm not going.
You what?
But, honey, the initiation
ceremony's tonight.
Not for me.
You don't want to join
the Frontier Scouts after all?
No. Chopping and tracking
is nice, I guess, if you're a boy.
It really is.
I just wanted to prove to myself
I could do it even though I'm a girl.
Oh, did the new fashion
magazine come yet?
Sure. It's up in my room.
Come on, I'll show it to you.
Wow.
Well guess the initiation is off.
I don't understand women at all.
Well, it's a woman's prerogative
to change her mind.
Who said that?
I don't know, but I bet
BOTH: It was a woman.
Boy, these sure are good cookies, Alice
the best you ever made.
Thanks, Peter, except
I didn't make them.
Then they're the best Mom ever made.
She didn't make them either.
Boy, they're good.
Where did we get them?
We bought them from you.
They're Sunflower Girl cookies.
On second thought, they're not too good.