The Brady Bunch (1969) s02e20 Episode Script

Lights Out

1
Here's the story of a lovely lady ♪
Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls ♪
All of them had hair of gold ♪
Like their mother
The youngest one in curls ♪
It's the story of a man named Brady ♪
Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
They were four men living all together ♪
Yet they were all alone ♪
Till the one day when
The lady met this fellow
And they knew that it was
Much more than a hunch
That this group
Must somehow form a family
That's the way we all
Became the Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch
That's the way we became
The Brady Bunch.
What's the big idea?
I can't sleep with the light off.
Cindy, will you cut it out?
How are we supposed to sleep
with the lights on?
If you go to sleep,
you won't see them on.
If you go to sleep,
you won't see them off.
I want 'em on!
Off!
On!
Listen, do you girls know what time it is?
What are you doing up?
Come on.
Off with the lights.
Go to bed.
But, Daddy!
Good night.
She won't sleep with the lights out.
That's not like you.
What do you want the lights on for?
I just do.
Why?
I'm scared.
Honey, what are you scared of?
I better not tell you.
It'll get me too scared.
Please, can I sleep with you tonight?
Cindy, honey, what are you so afraid of?
If I tell you, can I sleep with you tonight?
Cindy, you girls have your own room.
Please, just this once?
All right, just this once.
Thank you.
Come on. Here.
In you go.
Listen, what were you so frightened of?
It was something I saw.
What?
A magician at Jeremy's birthday party.
What happened?
He put a lady into a big box
and made her disappear.
Oh, well, honey,
the lady didn't really disappear.
That's just part of a trick.
Sure. First you see her,
then she disappears,
then you see her again.
I didn't see her again.
Oh, but you had to, honey.
That's part of the trick.
When she disappeared, I ran out.
But I feel much safer now.
Oh, good.
( Whispers ): I think she's going to be.
All right, now.
Good night, sweetheart.
It's dark again!
Cindy
Please turn the light on.
Cindy,
there is nothing
to be afraid of in the dark.
But that's when I think about the lady.
Oh, but, darling, that's
just your imagination.
Now, come on, lie down.
Mommy will show you.
Now, close your eyes.
That's it.
Now, I want you to think
of something real pleasant.
That's my girl.
I'll bet you aren't seeing
that lady disappear now, are you?
No, of course not.
Good night, sweetheart.
I'm thinking again.
Hello. I'm home.
Hi, Alice.
How come you're home so early?
I couldn't keep my eyes open
at the office.
I was up half the night with Cindy.
Got some of this morning's
coffee left over.
That might wake you up.
Yuck! I'm going to look
in the icebox.
Hi, Dad. Hi, Alice.
Hi, Peter.
Guess what.
Our school's putting on
an old-time vaudeville show,
and I signed up for it.
You have to try out for it first.
What kind of act are you going to do?
A magic act
like the guy at Jeremy's party.
I don't know about that.
We've had enough magic
around here lately.
But I've got to have an act.
Sure. What's a vaudeville performer
without an act?
On second thought, it hasn't stopped
some I've seen.
Hey, now that I think about it,
doing magic might help Cindy.
I mean, the more she sees
of tricks and how they work,
the less she'll have reason to be afraid.
That's a good idea.
You mean I can be a magician?
Yep.
I hereby christen thee Peter the Great.
I'll catch your act later,
Peter the Great.
Boy, wait till I tell everybody.
Tell us what?
I'm going to be a magician
in an old-time vaudeville show.
At least, I'm going to try out for it.
Neato.
I know a couple of tricks I can show you.
I can sew you a fancy cape, Peter.
I can help, too.
How?
I could tell you if the trick stinks.
You came to the right place.
What kind of tricks did you want to do?
They're not for me.
They're for my son here.
I'm going to be a magician
in a vaudeville show.
Good for you, kid.
Vaudeville ain't dead.
It ain't feeling too good,
but it ain't dead.
I think we'd like to see some easy tricks.
Nothing too difficult today.
No problem.
I have a wonderful trick
that any six-year-old can do
the Chinese linking rings.
Here. Separate them, kid.
I can't do it.
You can't do it? How old are you?
No wonder you can't separate them.
You have to be six.
Now, watch.
I say the magic words: Abracadabra
and slowly the rings separate.
Wow! How'd you do that?
That's very good.
Good? Sensational.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
Now, here's a trick that the kid can do
and stop the show with it.
That's showbiz talk.
Simple little trick
with a bottle and two empty tubes.
You notice that the tube fits
right over the bottle.
So does this one.
Remember, the bottle is here.
I say the magic words: Abracadabra
and, voila, the bottle
has changed places.
Gee, that's out of sight.
I think you made a sale.
We'll take both those tricks.
All righty.
How about something spectacular?
Like the disappearing cabinet?
Sounds like it might make
too much of my money disappear.
That's funny.
That's very funny.
You're a riot.
Tell you what, sir.
This book has the blueprints
and the illustrations, and you can build
your own disappearing cabinet.
It's easy to do and lots of fun.
Gee, something spectacular like this
could be the highlight of my act.
You're right, kid.
Every act has got to have a highlight.
We'll take the book.
Thanks, Dad.
Of course, nothing works without this.
Every magician has got to have
a magic wand.
There you are, kid.
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
my jumping bottle trick.
MIKE: Ta-dum.
I propose to make the bottle jump
from this tube to this tube.
Now you see it
and now abracadabra.
Cindy, lift the container.
Well
Oh, go on, honey.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
It's fun.
The bottle has jumped.
Gee, did I do that?
Of course not.
I did.
You can applaud if you like.
Very good, Peter.
Not good. Sensational!
You ain't seen nothing yet.
That's showbiz talk.
Can I help you with another trick, Peter?
Hey, you know, Peter,
she'd make a real cute assistant for you.
Hey, that's a good idea.
Oh, sure, every magician ought to have
a pretty assistant.
It dresses up the act.
Yeah, that's right.
Cindy, do you want to be my assistant?
Okay.
But first, will you tell me
how this trick works?
Well, first you take the
( whispering )
Hey, how about us?
Sorry. It's a secret for us magicians.
( Whispering )
I would like to show you
my famous disappearing banana trick.
Assistant, the banana, please.
I say the magic word abracadabra, and
Wow! That's really good, Peter.
Oh, I get it.
The banana's right
Shh!
You ain't seen nothing yet.
Assistant, the handkerchiefs, please.
One
two
and one makes three.
I say the magic word abracadabra
and they're gone.
Where did they go?
They didn't go anywhere.
Assistant?
One two
and one makes three.
That is so good!
Are they done yet, Mom?
Oh, hi, kids.
Yeah, you're just in time for a preview.
Here.
What do you think, huh?
Boy, they're neat.
And, Cindy, this is yours.
How do you like it?
What's the matter?
Isn't there something missing?
All right.
Now, is this better?
Much better.
Thank goodness.
Gee, that looks super.
Think I ought to get a mustache
to make me look more mysterious?
Hi. I got something for you.
What's that?
A top hat.
Wow! That's great.
Where'd you get it?
Randy Baldwin.
His father had it in an old trunk.
I thought you could use it in your act.
I sure can.
It really is a magician's hat.
Made your whole head disappear.
Almost makes your
whole body disappear.
But, Cindy, you've got
to get inside the cabinet
so I can make you disappear.
I don't want to.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
I'm not afraid.
She's afraid, all right.
But there's nothing to it.
Bobby!
Yeah?
You want to get inside
the disappearing cabinet?
Sure.
Okay, watch.
Now, you see him.
I say the magic words:
Abracadabra
Disappear!
And he's gone.
Bring him back, Peter.
Please bring him back.
Okay, okay.
I say the magic words:
Abracadabra, return from beyond.
Where is he?
Bobby, did you hear me?
Bobby?
You made him disappear
just like that lady,
and he's never coming back.
Mommy! Mommy!
Peter made Bobby disappear.
Mommy!
Now look what you've done.
Cindy's more scared than ever.
Bobby, come on.
Hi, Dad.
Hi, sweetheart.
I'm glad you're home.
Yeah, me, too.
Spent all morning in the sand traps.
Might as well have gone to the beach.
Cindy's all upset again.
She's up in her room with Mom.
What happened?
Bobby disappeared.
Disappeared?
Peter made him disappear in the cabinet.
Bobby didn't come back.
Guess Bobby's playing
some kind of a joke.
Not a very funny joke.
I'm going to have a
talk with that young man.
But he's not here.
MARCIA: Then what happened?
I just said the magic words
abracadabra.
Hey, Peter.
Yeah, Dad?
That's all I did.
I just said the magic words.
Okay, now, what happened?
I don't know.
I don't know where he went.
Me either, Dad.
It was weird.
All of a sudden, he was there and then
Here I am.
Bobby, where have you been?
You want to give us a little explanation?
Well, after I got out the secret door,
I sneaked out of the garage for a joke.
Some joke.
I fooled you, huh?
You fooled us, but you scared Cindy.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to do that, honest.
I think Cindy would like
to hear your apology.
Now, move.
Ow.
I wonder if Houdini started out like this?
Cindy.
Cindy, it's me, Bobby.
Bobby!
I was only playing a joke.
Sorry I scared you.
I thought you'd really disappeared.
Well, I didn't.
You can let go now.
I'm glad you're back.
What did you have to do that for?
Now do you understand
there wasn't anything to be afraid of?
Uh-huh.
But I don't want to be.
Peter's magic assistant anymore.
Hey, he's counting on you
for his tryout tomorrow afternoon, honey.
Jan knows what to do.
She can take my place.
But, Cindy, I told you
there's no reason to be afraid.
I'm not afraid but, if it's okay,
tonight I think I'll sleep
with the lights on again.
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
introducing Peter the Great!
Whoa!
Ladies and gentlemen,
my assistant will hand me
a pair of ordinary
Chinese linking rings.
Observe.
The linking rings are linked.
And they're still linked.
Abracadabra.
That's really great.
Not bad.
GREG: I want to see this.
Observe.
Nothing in my hand.
Except a little dirt.
I'm going to pour this milk in my fist.
Look out for the carpet, Peter.
Going
going
gone.
Good night, everybody.
I'm going to sleep now.
Cindy, honey, don't you
want to stay and watch
Peter rehearse for his
big tryout tomorrow?
He's real good, honey.
No, thanks.
Boy, that magic really has her bugged.
( Accordion wheezing )
Anytime you're ready, Warren.
( Playing bouncy tune )
Calm down, Peter.
We got everything here.
Everything but Jan.
And I'm on right after warren.
Your mother's gone
to the gym to get her.
Boy, my stomach sure feels funny.
You've got butterflies.
Mine feel more like bats.
You wanted to be in show business.
Hi, Cindy?
Jan.
Is Mom or Dad there?
Uh-uh. They took Peter's magic stuff
over to the school.
Oh. I'm in the nurse's office.
I twisted my ankle in gym class.
Gee, I'm sorry.
I better call over to the auditorium
and tell Dad I can't help Peter.
But, if you don't help him, he won't win.
Oh, I'm sorry.
But how can I do it on one foot?
Bye.
Bye.
( Tune continues )
It's not serious, Jan?
It's just a little sprain.
That's good, honey.
Your mother went to gym class.
They'll send her over.
But what about Peter, Dad?
I can walk a little bit.
Jan, you stay off that ankle, okay?
Okay.
Okay. Bye, sweetheart.
Oh, great.
There goes my act.
Well, it's not as though
your sister planned it this way, Peter.
I know.
I'm sorry she hurt herself.
There's no reason you can't go out there
and perform by yourself.
Maybe one or two tricks,
but who's going to get
in the disappearing cabinet?
That's the highlight of my whole act.
Well, leave that out,
and just do the best you can, huh?
Right now, I wish I could disappear.
That was very nice, Warren.
Thank you.
The next on the list
is Peter Brady and his magic act.
Are you ready, Peter?
Yes, sir.
Now, just do the best you can.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
The first trick I'd like to do for you
is a very good trick I know you'd like.
Only I can't do it
because I don't have my assistant.
But I've got an even better trick, though.
It's really terrific
with a rope, a rabbit and a canary.
But I can't do that one either
without my assistant.
And I also can't do my best trick of all
The disappearing lady.
I'm real sorry I can't do it for you.
You'd have really liked that one.
But I'll have to do
some of my other tricks
'cause, like I said,
I don't have my assistant.
Yes, you do, Peter.
Jan called home.
So I came to help Peter.
He could sure use some help.
She's all set to go.
I took the wings off
her fairy princess costume.
Listen, Cindy, are you
positive you want to do this?
I'm positive.
I'm still a little scared, but I'm positive.
I'm ready, Peter the Great.
You can make me disappear now.
Thanks, Cindy.
Ladies and gentlemen,
my assistant and sister.
And now for the highlight of my act
a trick that will amaze you.
You sure you're okay?
I think so.
And now I say the magic words.
Abracadabra.
Disappear.
And she's gone.
Good.
And now I say the magic words again.
Abracadabra.
Return from beyond.
Excellent.
Are you still okay?
Let's do it again.
Ladies and gentlemen,
if it's all right with you,
my assistant wants to do this trick again.
By all means.
I say the magic words.
Abracadabra.
Disappear!
I'm home.
Oh, hi, honey.
For you.
What?
A flower.
You know that mink
you were hinting about?
Yeah?
Have another flower.
Oh, Mike, that's a terrible joke
to play on me.
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