Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s02e22 Episode Script

1
Jackie: And 3 days ago,
Paul connell
notified the museum
that he had made
a major discovery.
Yeah, well, I made
a major discovery, too.
You can get frostbite
on your butt.
Mr. connell
described his find as
a prehistoric humanoid
frozen in the ice.
Whoa! A caveman!
That was the last
the museum heard
from him.
I suspect
- that connell and his
inuit laborers got--
eaten?
Frightened.
That would explain
why there was nobody
at the research lab
when we arrived there.
This place could
creep anyone out.
We must enter
the cave with--
flashlights!
Respect.
Jade: Whoa.
(Gasps)
Yes, whoa.
We must
bring it back
to the lab
for study.
Look at his expression.
I wonder
what was going
through his mind.
(Gasps)
Look out behind you.
Yes, perhaps.
No. I mean,
look out behind you.
(All grunting)
(All grunting)
Please, we mean you
no harm.
I am an archeologist.
This creature
is an important
scientific discovery.
I'm only
taking him to our lab
for further study, ok?
(Man grunts)
You have disturbed
that which should
not be disturbed.
Jade, get on the sled.
Ahh. Are those boots
elk skin?
Moose.
(Grunts)
Oh.
Sorry.
Jade: Jackie!
Good dogs! Mush!
(Grunts)
Whoa!
Pretty good save, huh?
Yes, but Jade,
could you--
just wait till
tohru and uncle
get a load
of ice guy.
They're gonna freak!
Jade!
What did you say?
Uh-oh.
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Bad day, bad day!
Oh
Save number 2.
I rule.
Yes.
- And from now on,
I drive.
Oh. Jackie, why you turn
temperature down?
You want us
to wind up like him?
It is important to keep
the specimen frozen
for preservation
purposes.
Sorry, old timer.
Guess it's another
cold night for you.
I found something!
It is some sort
of tribal artifact.
There are markings.
That your I.D. Bracelet,
big fella?
Hmm
Ancient inuit
hieroglyphics.
What does it
mean, uncle? Ow!
It means quiet!
I must study.
(Snoring)
I believe little man
symbol represents day.
Bird represents life.
Huh
Translation difficult
under these conditions.
(Yawns)
Without sleep.
Without tea!
And this is a tree.
They had those back
in your day, too.
Just not locally.
And these
are snow tires.
(Yawns)
Jade, why are you
still awake?
Because I'm
not sleeping?
(Yawns)
Finish translations
in morning.
Good idea. Jade?
Soon.
Gonna show him some ads
for snowboarding equipment
so what is this,
ice guy?
Your grocery list
or something?
Hmm
Ok, so here's
what I got.
"When cold turns to heat,
"uh, something will arise.
"When night turns to day,
blah, blah, will run free."
(Sighs)
Ok, I give up.
What's it mean?
(Gasps)
Did you just
Are you
(Snoring)
Oh
Huh?
90 degrees?
Uncle!
Aah! Huh.
Feels like we are
back in San Francisco.
Why did you adjust
the thermostat?
I did no such thing.
Tohru, did you
turn up the heat?
Heat? What heat?
(Gasps)
The specimen!
Ice man has risen!
Bad omen.
Frozen prehistoric
creatures do not
just walk away.
I suspect someone
broke in and--
(loud grunt)
Aye-yah!
Jade!
(Gasps)
I do not believe it.
Me neither.
Jade,
you found cereal.
Sorry, all gone.
Guess a couple
of thousand years
in the deep freeze
will give a guy
an appetite.
(Burps)
Jade, what
have you done?
Defrosted him.
Didn't I, Duane?
Duane?
Named him after
a friend's dad.
He's got this real
hairy back, and--
Jade,
this is not a cute,
furry animal.
This prehistoric
pre-humanoid
could be
very dangerous.
Come on, Jackie.
Duane is totally mellow.
(Burps)
Ok, so he could use
come table manners,
but that's
where I come in.
I can teach him
all kinds of stuff.
Wait till
I show you TV, Duane.
Cable toon channel's
gonna blow your mind!
You will not
show him anything.
He does not
belong here.
He should be
On ice!
(Grunts)
(Screaming)
(Growls)
Nice going,
uncle Jackie.
You hurt
his feelings.
We gotta find Duane.
He's been out
of circulation
for a couple
thousand years.
He could get lost
or hurt.
Or hurt someone else.
There he is!
Strange.
The inuit is using fish
to lure the ice man.
Duane likes fish,
remember?
It's tohru
who hates fish.
But the inuits
seem terrified
of the creature.
Why would they--
(engine roaring)
(Gasps)
Both: Avalanche!
Aah!
Both: Aah!
(Grunts)
(Gasps)
(Whistles)
(Both grunting)
Good dogs! Mush!
(Craaaash)
(Avalanche stops)
Both: Whew!
Ahh
You really are
man's best friend.
That was
Kind of cool,
except for,
you know,
the part about
almost getting crushed.
I suspect the avalanche
was no accident.
There was a snowmobile
atop the glacier.
(Gasps)
Someone is coming!
Uncle?
What are you
doing here?
Ice fishing.
Uncle finish
translation.
Tell story
of ice man.
One more thing--
he's not dangerous.
Told you.
Maybe the ice creature
is not dangerous,
but whoever
kidnapped him is.
Come, uncle.
I may need you.
Oh
Uncle never gets
to do what he wants.
(Indistinct murmuring)
No sign
of our caveman.
Hey, there's the guy who
tried to shishkabob us.
Bet you he's got Duane
locked up in his tent.
I will sneak
around the back.
You 2 wait here.
(Scoffs)
Jackie gets to go
to a nice, warm tent.
Leaves us here
to freeze.
Always thinking
of himself.
Come.
Need to work on
your sneaking around.
Inuits can hear
footsteps in snow
a mile away.
That so?
Uncle, Jade!
I told you to--
we are not armed
But that
doesn't mean
we won't go polar
on your butt
if you don't
hand over Duane.
Jade, please.
She means
the prehistoric
cave creature.
No such creature here.
Oh, so maybe
your sister
has big feet?
My sister
has tiny feet.
She is delicate
like a bird.
Come inside.
Ancient legend tells
of an evil snow spirit
who many moons past
rained ice upon the world.
Would have frozen
the whole planet
if inuit ancestors
had not defeated him.
And that's what you
think the creature
we excavated is?
A "snow spirit?"
Mmm
Must be returned
to the ice cave
before he destroys
the world.
But Duane isn't
an evil spirit.
He's sweet.
He eats cereal.
Child speaks truth.
Ice man not evil.
Not even a spirit.
I am not familiar
with this legend.
Where did you
hear of it?
From the great shaman.
Only last week,
he foretold
the evil spirit's
return.
BahShaman.
You are
superstitious old fool.
Takes one
to know one.
Everything you say
like glue--
sticks back to you.
That does not
even make sense.
Both of you,
please stop fighting.
Bah
Artifact tells of how
ice man was trapped
and frozen in cave.
Ancient inuits
tried to free him.
Could not,
but foretold the day
he would once again
run free across tundra.
There you go.
If he was an evil spirit,
why would they try
to set him free?
Hmm
You make
a good point.
But the great shaman
says different.
Says it is
an evil spirit,
and must
be destroyed.
Where is
this shaman?
Duane!
He's no shaman.
That is Peter Bailey,
a black marketeer.
He steal artifacts
and sells them to
the highest bidder.
But the shaman
has great powers.
He can speak
to other shamans
across the sea through
a magical black box.
You mean
like this?
It's called
a cell phone. Hello?
Everybody's got one
back where we come from
Except for me.
(Ringing)
Uncle: Uncle's antique.
Not here. Call back.
Hey!
Stop!
Many moons
have passed.
Must return evil
spirit creature to ice.
You lie.
The ice man
is harmless.
You believe them?
These are evil ones
who set evil spirit free.
That's just
some phony baloney
legend you made up.
Maybe you want
to show me the trick
with the cell phone
again.
He's got your number,
Bailey. Face!
You want to talk
numbers, girly?
That hairy missing link's
worth 10 times
more than that junk
I came here for.
He's a living creature,
not someBeanie.
You can't sell Duane.
Ha! Try
and stop me, mates.
Uncle, watch Jade!
Jade?
Mush!
You fish?
What do you think?
I go to a drive-thru
burger place?
Ha ha! 6 dogs versus
a hundred horsepower?
Don't think so, pally.
Baah!
(Sighs)
Need less weight.
(Grunting)
Uh, hi.
What are you
doing here?
Duane's my friend.
I thawed him out
and fed him and--
too dangerous.
Stay with tohru.
I found moose jerky.
Go! Go!
(Laughing)
Aah!
Go! Go!
Get along,
little doggies!
Ahh.
(Grunts)
(Grunts)
Whoa! Oof.
Everyone ok?
Aah!
Aah!
Oof!
You're
about to join
the polar Bear club,
pally, but hey,
look at
the bright side.
Maybe someone
will dig you up
in about
a thousand years.
(Roaring)
Get back,
you hairy beast!
I'm warning you!
(Growls)
Whaah!
No, please, help me!
I hear ice fishing
is very good
this time of year.
Don't worry,
you're drifting east.
Should reach
solid ground in 2 days.
Hold tight, Jackie,
'cause it's Jade
of the north coming in
for one more save.
Too late.
I was already
assisted by
A friend.
Let's get
this gentleman
onto the sled.
Then we'll head
to the airport.
You want to take Duane
home with us?
He will be safe
at section 13--
placed under
observation, studied,
fed cereal.
Hello.
King Kong?
Mighty Joe young?
We can't take Duane
back to civilization.
But I thought
he was your friend.
He is, and that's why
we got to leave him
Here.
Ahh
The Aurora borealis.
Northern lights.
The inscription!
"When night
turns to day,
something--something
will run free."
I expect you
are correct, Jade.
And also correct
about Duane staying here
in his natural habitat.
Go ahead, big guy.
Run. Be free.
Where is sensei?
(Gasps)
Uncle!
By now,
probably at war
with the inuit elder.
HuhMy secret.
Anchovy, eh?
Baah! Catch nothing
but minnows.
What do you
fish with, worms?
Mung beans wrapped
in tea leaves.
Fish take a number
to get on hook.
Ahh
Big talk, no action.
Ahh, see?
I got something.
(Grunting)
(Grunting)
So does uncle.
Big something!
Ha! See?
My bait gone.
Yours still on hook.
So what?
So, fish we lost
was mine!
No, that was my fish.
My fish!
You're a liar!
My fish!
You cheated.
Hey, Jackie?
Do you miss
your family
when you're off
making movies?
My business is, uh,
very, very difficult,
because I'm so busy.
A location scout,
training, rehearsal.
The camera rolling.
The only things I know
is comedy, action.
Great stunts,
great action.
Sometimes when
I'm off camera,
take a break
Then I do miss
my family.
But what can I do?
Travel, travel,
travel, travel.