Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s02e23 Episode Script
Into the Mouth of Evil
1
Jackie: Ahem. Uh
I am here
to see Mr. jambah.
The curator?
He asked if I would
pick up some photos
to deliver
to a colleague of his
at the archeology
conference in Calcutta.
EhWhich I will
be flying to in 2 hours.
If you could call him,
please, for--
(snores)
The museum directors
must feel very secure
knowing
you are on the job.
Mr. jambah?
Hello?
Man: You know why
we have come.
Where are the sutras
of rachtajhiba?
Man: Tell your master
I know nothing
about them.
You speak lies!
Jackie, help! Thieves!
Stop! Stay
where you are,
nobody gets hurt.
This does not concern you.
Leave here!
Mr. jambah
is a respected colleague.
You leave!
Oh, you are yoga masters.
Nonviolent.
But I thought yoga
was to promote peace within.
Ooh
I am still standing.
OhOh!
Ahh.
Jackie!
- Oh!
Jackie,
a thousand apologies.
It's ok. I am fine.
OwOoh.
Oh, I've done you
a terrible wrong.
You are hurt.
Those men.
Who were they?
Thieves.
Very bad men.
They mentioned
the sutras of rachta
Rachtajhiba,
an ancient evil text
said to possess
great destructive power.
To think I would even permit
such an unpleasant artifact
to be included
in my collection
is beyond ridiculous.
And impossible,
because you see,
the sutras of rachtajhiba
are mere legend.
Oh. Perhaps
we should get you
some medical attention.
No. I'm fine. Really.
(Moans) OhOh
The photos
you wanted me
to bring to India?
Oh, yes!
My colleague
from the British museum
will be meeting you
at the conference.
You are very kind
to do this for me.
It is my--ah! Pain.
Oh, you are
coming with me to see
my dentist Dr. Webber.
He is very gentle.
Thank you.
Flying is
disagreeable enough,
even without
having to suffer
a painful mouth.
Man: Where
are the sutras?
Mohajah, I--
(man thinking)
We have disappointed
our master.
We are not worthy.
You return empty-handed?
But, mohajah,
we were outnumbered.
Concentrate.
Mustn't allow mohajah
to read my mind
or he will know
we were defeated by--
tell me of this one man
who bested 3 disciples.
Well, I'm afraid
you're going to need
a complete
jaw transplant,
Mr. chan.
Huh?!
Ha ha ha!
Just kidding!
You simply have
a displaced filling.
We'll have you
fixed up in no time.
Elisa, prepare a shot
of novocaine, please.
UhI don't
like needles.
OhWell
I could drill
without numbing you.
(Gulps) Ok.
Numbing, please.
Ha ha ha.
One new filling
coming right up.
If jambah or
one of his accomplices
is to return to India
with the sutras,
he must pass through here.
(Muffled speech)
Good-bye, uncle.
We'll be back
on thurday.
I cannot
understand a word
you are saying.
His mouth's still
numb from the dentist.
He said if the school
sends over any homework,
it's a mistake.
Just toss it.
No! I did-ent.
I thaid--
no, no, don't talk!
Listen!
Make sure
not to forget
to pick up spices
for uncle
in Calcutta.
Yeth, uncle.
Curry powder.
I wrote ID down.
Thee?
That is the man
from the museum--
jambah's colleague.
(Beeping)
(Beep beep beep)
Oh, ah got a new
fillin' today.
Shee?
I must move closer,
read his mind.
Here's your ticket,
Jade.
It's so cool
you're taking me along
on this once-in-a-lifetime
educational experience,
uncle Jackie.
(Thinking)
Three whole days--
no school! Yes!
Ah mith you, uncle.
(Thinking)
I'll miss you,
uncle.
An' don' worry
I won' forget da
curry powder.
You are
a good nephew.
(Thinking)
Ah! Jackie will forget!
He always forgets!
There are too many
minds here.
(Gasps)
The sutras
of rachtajhiba--
I know you have them.
Well, actually, had.
Jackie chan?!
Stop him!
Ah, I can
- speak clearly again.
Great. Now you can chitchat
with the eggheads.
Oh, first things first.
I am starving.
No, duh. You dribbled
everything you tried
to eat on the plane.
Ow!
Oh, sorry.
I just had
some dental work done.
I am
- so not with him.
Pardon me.
Would you be
Mr. Jackie chan?
Oh, I wouldAnytime.
I mean, yes.
Hmm. Portia martindale,
British museum.
And you have
something I want.
I do?
The photographs
from Mr. jambah.
Oh. Oh! Yes.
The light is so much better
out on the balcony.
Care to join me?
Ok.
Go, Jackie!
Mr. chan,
may I just say--
oh, please.
Call me Jackie.
Jackie,
I was so impressed
when I read
how you discovered
that lost city
in patagonia.
Oh, thank you.
I was very lucky.
I had a very good map.
Mmm, and
he's humble, too.
Oh, so clumsy!
Oh, please. Allow me.
There is the signal.
Thank you, Jackie.
You know,
it's so very nice out,
I feel like a walk.
How about you?
Oh, that would be--
(woman screaming)
Nice to meet you.
Good-bye. Thank you.
Excuse me. Oh, sorry.
Pardon me.
Jade, return
to the hotel room!
Didn't say "please."
Sorry! I'll bring it back!
Thank you!
Got him
- in my sights, gentlemen.
Why do you
keep chasing me?
Oh!
Aah! Oof!
Hey, you! Pay first!
Whoa!
Dumbo, heel! Please!
He's traveling
by elephant,
the bazaar
in the medan.
(Screaming)
Oh! Ow!
My tooth!
No shock absorbers!
Yeow! Oof!
(Cell phone rings)
Hello?
Ah, Jackie,
do not forget
curry powder.
Ok, uncle.
I took care of it.
Have to go. Bye.
Sorry about your shop.
Send me your bill. Thank you!
(Groans)
(Grunts)
Huh?
Jambah?
Miss martindale!
Dr. weber?
I don't understand.
Oh, you will
in a moment.
A little novocaine
to ease the pain?
Oh, don't bother, portia.
Mr. chan hates needles.
Ha ha ha.
No. Please!
Don't!
There now.
That wasn't so bad,
was it?
Yes, it was.
I suppose we owe you
an explanation, Jackie.
You heard of the sutras
of rachtajhiba, yes?
Only at your museum.
You said they were
just a legend.
I lied.
You see, the sutras
do very much exist.
In my filling!
Magnificent,
are they not?
A 3,000-word incantation
painstakingly inscribed
by skilled sorcerers
onto a piece of silver
no larger than a grain
of basmati rice.
Legend foretells
that when the sutras
are returned to the Ganges,
the river will dry up.
Oh, that would be--
so those thieves
who have been
after me--
you have been
trying to stop them!
WellNo.
Actually,
they've been
trying to stop us.
They are not truly
thieves, you see.
They are disciples
of mohajah.
Who?
Oh, a do-gooder
mystic--
a psychic.
Claims his mission
is to protect India
from evil magic.
Mohajah suspected
I was in possession
of the sutras
and was planning
to transport them
here to India.
But none of us could carry
the sutras without the mohajah
knowing it.
That mind-reading power
of his--oh!
Real nuisance.
So you
had to find a courier
who did not know
he was carrying the sutras.
Me.
We do so appreciate
your help, Jackie.
But that means
you want to dry up
the Ganges river. Why?!
Have you
no sense of vision, man?
Do you not realize
what treasures lie
on the riverbed?
Centuries worth
of artifacts,
silver, gold,
riches beyond measure
there for the taking!
But millions of people
depend upon the river
for farming
and travel and--
(gasps)
Lives will be destroyed!
Oh, Jackie's a bit
of a sentimentalist.
So sweet, but, really,
one must have priorities.
We're talking about
the archeological event
of the millennium.
If a few people
must be inconvenienced,
(hums)
You are bad people--
all of you!
Ah, yes. Soon to be
very rich people.
(Grunts)
Nobody moves,
nobody gets hurt.
Jade?!
I told you to go back
to the hotel room.
Lost my key. Ok, now,
let the chan man go.
Dr. weber,
give the child a lollipop.
Don't sucker me,
sucker! Hyah!
Stand back, or I'll
Dribble?
Jade, the other one!
Ha! Your plan to destroy
a million lives
has gone down the drain.
Yes! The drain
Which leads to the sewers--
which flow directly
into the Ganges river.
Aah! Jade!
We have to--
as you were.
Care to tell them
what a full-on blast
of X-ray radiation
will do to one's
internal organs, Dr. weber?
Ha ha ha.
Well, those lead aprons
we provide our patients
are not frivolous
accessories.
So let's all just sit tight
and let the sewer
do its work, shall we?
Uh, Jackie, did you remember
to get uncle's curry powder?
Yes, Jade, but now
is not the time to--
uncle's curry powder--
yes.
RightHere!
(Sneezing and coughing)
We must find a way
into--there!
Ugh!
Finding
a tiny piece of silver
in all of this--
this--
- this yuck!
Oh! Follow the current!
What if we
stop the current?
(Groans)
Jade, no!
Whoa!
Aaah!
- Aaah!
(Screaming)
Jade: Look!
(Gasps) The opening
to the river!
I only hope
we are not too late.
I see it!
Ugh!
Bottle cap. Heh.
Hmm? That chanting
It's coming
from the sutras,
as if they sense
the river is--
(gasps)
Oh!
Aaah!
Yes!
Jade!
I know. I am good.
Behind you!
The sutras--I will
be taking them now.
You'll have to pry 'em
out of my wet, cold,
yucky fingers.
Whoa. I am good.
They cannot move.
Mind control.
The sutras, please.
Oh, no, you don't!
(Grunting)
It is all right, Jade.
They are the good guys.
(Whispering)
You sure?
He's got this whole
Spock mind-meld
scanner thing
happening.
Thank you, Jackie chan.
My disciples and I
shall ensure
that the sutras
remain safe from those
who would use them
for evil.
You are welcome.
Aah! Very bad toothache.
Huh? My toothache--
it's gone.
Power of the mind.
Hey, uh, think you could
do some power of the mind
to remove the yuck
from my shoes?
(Cell phone rings)
My cell phone!
It is your uncle
reminding you
to bring home
curry powder.
That isAmazing.
There is one more thing
that he desires.
Though
I am not quite sure
I understand.
Ow!
Hey, Jackie!
Yes?
Where do you get the ideas
for your stunts?
So many years
I've been doing
action films
I really, like,
school myself.
Study every movie,
every Bruce Lee film,
Stallone film,
everybody.
I've been thinking,
punch or kicking
all same.
Sometimes just boring.
The props
really help me a lot.
Situation, props,
and different country,
different culture,
different background--
they all help me.
They all help me
to doing a stunt. Yeah.
Jackie: Ahem. Uh
I am here
to see Mr. jambah.
The curator?
He asked if I would
pick up some photos
to deliver
to a colleague of his
at the archeology
conference in Calcutta.
EhWhich I will
be flying to in 2 hours.
If you could call him,
please, for--
(snores)
The museum directors
must feel very secure
knowing
you are on the job.
Mr. jambah?
Hello?
Man: You know why
we have come.
Where are the sutras
of rachtajhiba?
Man: Tell your master
I know nothing
about them.
You speak lies!
Jackie, help! Thieves!
Stop! Stay
where you are,
nobody gets hurt.
This does not concern you.
Leave here!
Mr. jambah
is a respected colleague.
You leave!
Oh, you are yoga masters.
Nonviolent.
But I thought yoga
was to promote peace within.
Ooh
I am still standing.
OhOh!
Ahh.
Jackie!
- Oh!
Jackie,
a thousand apologies.
It's ok. I am fine.
OwOoh.
Oh, I've done you
a terrible wrong.
You are hurt.
Those men.
Who were they?
Thieves.
Very bad men.
They mentioned
the sutras of rachta
Rachtajhiba,
an ancient evil text
said to possess
great destructive power.
To think I would even permit
such an unpleasant artifact
to be included
in my collection
is beyond ridiculous.
And impossible,
because you see,
the sutras of rachtajhiba
are mere legend.
Oh. Perhaps
we should get you
some medical attention.
No. I'm fine. Really.
(Moans) OhOh
The photos
you wanted me
to bring to India?
Oh, yes!
My colleague
from the British museum
will be meeting you
at the conference.
You are very kind
to do this for me.
It is my--ah! Pain.
Oh, you are
coming with me to see
my dentist Dr. Webber.
He is very gentle.
Thank you.
Flying is
disagreeable enough,
even without
having to suffer
a painful mouth.
Man: Where
are the sutras?
Mohajah, I--
(man thinking)
We have disappointed
our master.
We are not worthy.
You return empty-handed?
But, mohajah,
we were outnumbered.
Concentrate.
Mustn't allow mohajah
to read my mind
or he will know
we were defeated by--
tell me of this one man
who bested 3 disciples.
Well, I'm afraid
you're going to need
a complete
jaw transplant,
Mr. chan.
Huh?!
Ha ha ha!
Just kidding!
You simply have
a displaced filling.
We'll have you
fixed up in no time.
Elisa, prepare a shot
of novocaine, please.
UhI don't
like needles.
OhWell
I could drill
without numbing you.
(Gulps) Ok.
Numbing, please.
Ha ha ha.
One new filling
coming right up.
If jambah or
one of his accomplices
is to return to India
with the sutras,
he must pass through here.
(Muffled speech)
Good-bye, uncle.
We'll be back
on thurday.
I cannot
understand a word
you are saying.
His mouth's still
numb from the dentist.
He said if the school
sends over any homework,
it's a mistake.
Just toss it.
No! I did-ent.
I thaid--
no, no, don't talk!
Listen!
Make sure
not to forget
to pick up spices
for uncle
in Calcutta.
Yeth, uncle.
Curry powder.
I wrote ID down.
Thee?
That is the man
from the museum--
jambah's colleague.
(Beeping)
(Beep beep beep)
Oh, ah got a new
fillin' today.
Shee?
I must move closer,
read his mind.
Here's your ticket,
Jade.
It's so cool
you're taking me along
on this once-in-a-lifetime
educational experience,
uncle Jackie.
(Thinking)
Three whole days--
no school! Yes!
Ah mith you, uncle.
(Thinking)
I'll miss you,
uncle.
An' don' worry
I won' forget da
curry powder.
You are
a good nephew.
(Thinking)
Ah! Jackie will forget!
He always forgets!
There are too many
minds here.
(Gasps)
The sutras
of rachtajhiba--
I know you have them.
Well, actually, had.
Jackie chan?!
Stop him!
Ah, I can
- speak clearly again.
Great. Now you can chitchat
with the eggheads.
Oh, first things first.
I am starving.
No, duh. You dribbled
everything you tried
to eat on the plane.
Ow!
Oh, sorry.
I just had
some dental work done.
I am
- so not with him.
Pardon me.
Would you be
Mr. Jackie chan?
Oh, I wouldAnytime.
I mean, yes.
Hmm. Portia martindale,
British museum.
And you have
something I want.
I do?
The photographs
from Mr. jambah.
Oh. Oh! Yes.
The light is so much better
out on the balcony.
Care to join me?
Ok.
Go, Jackie!
Mr. chan,
may I just say--
oh, please.
Call me Jackie.
Jackie,
I was so impressed
when I read
how you discovered
that lost city
in patagonia.
Oh, thank you.
I was very lucky.
I had a very good map.
Mmm, and
he's humble, too.
Oh, so clumsy!
Oh, please. Allow me.
There is the signal.
Thank you, Jackie.
You know,
it's so very nice out,
I feel like a walk.
How about you?
Oh, that would be--
(woman screaming)
Nice to meet you.
Good-bye. Thank you.
Excuse me. Oh, sorry.
Pardon me.
Jade, return
to the hotel room!
Didn't say "please."
Sorry! I'll bring it back!
Thank you!
Got him
- in my sights, gentlemen.
Why do you
keep chasing me?
Oh!
Aah! Oof!
Hey, you! Pay first!
Whoa!
Dumbo, heel! Please!
He's traveling
by elephant,
the bazaar
in the medan.
(Screaming)
Oh! Ow!
My tooth!
No shock absorbers!
Yeow! Oof!
(Cell phone rings)
Hello?
Ah, Jackie,
do not forget
curry powder.
Ok, uncle.
I took care of it.
Have to go. Bye.
Sorry about your shop.
Send me your bill. Thank you!
(Groans)
(Grunts)
Huh?
Jambah?
Miss martindale!
Dr. weber?
I don't understand.
Oh, you will
in a moment.
A little novocaine
to ease the pain?
Oh, don't bother, portia.
Mr. chan hates needles.
Ha ha ha.
No. Please!
Don't!
There now.
That wasn't so bad,
was it?
Yes, it was.
I suppose we owe you
an explanation, Jackie.
You heard of the sutras
of rachtajhiba, yes?
Only at your museum.
You said they were
just a legend.
I lied.
You see, the sutras
do very much exist.
In my filling!
Magnificent,
are they not?
A 3,000-word incantation
painstakingly inscribed
by skilled sorcerers
onto a piece of silver
no larger than a grain
of basmati rice.
Legend foretells
that when the sutras
are returned to the Ganges,
the river will dry up.
Oh, that would be--
so those thieves
who have been
after me--
you have been
trying to stop them!
WellNo.
Actually,
they've been
trying to stop us.
They are not truly
thieves, you see.
They are disciples
of mohajah.
Who?
Oh, a do-gooder
mystic--
a psychic.
Claims his mission
is to protect India
from evil magic.
Mohajah suspected
I was in possession
of the sutras
and was planning
to transport them
here to India.
But none of us could carry
the sutras without the mohajah
knowing it.
That mind-reading power
of his--oh!
Real nuisance.
So you
had to find a courier
who did not know
he was carrying the sutras.
Me.
We do so appreciate
your help, Jackie.
But that means
you want to dry up
the Ganges river. Why?!
Have you
no sense of vision, man?
Do you not realize
what treasures lie
on the riverbed?
Centuries worth
of artifacts,
silver, gold,
riches beyond measure
there for the taking!
But millions of people
depend upon the river
for farming
and travel and--
(gasps)
Lives will be destroyed!
Oh, Jackie's a bit
of a sentimentalist.
So sweet, but, really,
one must have priorities.
We're talking about
the archeological event
of the millennium.
If a few people
must be inconvenienced,
(hums)
You are bad people--
all of you!
Ah, yes. Soon to be
very rich people.
(Grunts)
Nobody moves,
nobody gets hurt.
Jade?!
I told you to go back
to the hotel room.
Lost my key. Ok, now,
let the chan man go.
Dr. weber,
give the child a lollipop.
Don't sucker me,
sucker! Hyah!
Stand back, or I'll
Dribble?
Jade, the other one!
Ha! Your plan to destroy
a million lives
has gone down the drain.
Yes! The drain
Which leads to the sewers--
which flow directly
into the Ganges river.
Aah! Jade!
We have to--
as you were.
Care to tell them
what a full-on blast
of X-ray radiation
will do to one's
internal organs, Dr. weber?
Ha ha ha.
Well, those lead aprons
we provide our patients
are not frivolous
accessories.
So let's all just sit tight
and let the sewer
do its work, shall we?
Uh, Jackie, did you remember
to get uncle's curry powder?
Yes, Jade, but now
is not the time to--
uncle's curry powder--
yes.
RightHere!
(Sneezing and coughing)
We must find a way
into--there!
Ugh!
Finding
a tiny piece of silver
in all of this--
this--
- this yuck!
Oh! Follow the current!
What if we
stop the current?
(Groans)
Jade, no!
Whoa!
Aaah!
- Aaah!
(Screaming)
Jade: Look!
(Gasps) The opening
to the river!
I only hope
we are not too late.
I see it!
Ugh!
Bottle cap. Heh.
Hmm? That chanting
It's coming
from the sutras,
as if they sense
the river is--
(gasps)
Oh!
Aaah!
Yes!
Jade!
I know. I am good.
Behind you!
The sutras--I will
be taking them now.
You'll have to pry 'em
out of my wet, cold,
yucky fingers.
Whoa. I am good.
They cannot move.
Mind control.
The sutras, please.
Oh, no, you don't!
(Grunting)
It is all right, Jade.
They are the good guys.
(Whispering)
You sure?
He's got this whole
Spock mind-meld
scanner thing
happening.
Thank you, Jackie chan.
My disciples and I
shall ensure
that the sutras
remain safe from those
who would use them
for evil.
You are welcome.
Aah! Very bad toothache.
Huh? My toothache--
it's gone.
Power of the mind.
Hey, uh, think you could
do some power of the mind
to remove the yuck
from my shoes?
(Cell phone rings)
My cell phone!
It is your uncle
reminding you
to bring home
curry powder.
That isAmazing.
There is one more thing
that he desires.
Though
I am not quite sure
I understand.
Ow!
Hey, Jackie!
Yes?
Where do you get the ideas
for your stunts?
So many years
I've been doing
action films
I really, like,
school myself.
Study every movie,
every Bruce Lee film,
Stallone film,
everybody.
I've been thinking,
punch or kicking
all same.
Sometimes just boring.
The props
really help me a lot.
Situation, props,
and different country,
different culture,
different background--
they all help me.
They all help me
to doing a stunt. Yeah.