Gilligan's Island (1964) s02e25 Episode Script

1
Just sit right back,
and you'll hear a tale ♪
a tale of a fateful trip ♪
that started from this tropic port ♪
aboard this tiny ship ♪
the mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪
the skipper brave and sure ♪
5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour ♪
a 3-hour tour ♪
[thunder]
The weather started getting rough ♪
the tiny ship was tossed ♪
if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪
the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost ♪
the ship set ground
on the shore of this ♪
uncharted desert isle ♪
with gilligan ♪
the skipper, too ♪
the millionaire ♪
and his wife ♪
the movie star ♪
the professor and Mary Ann ♪
here on gilligan's isle ♪
Ginger: Gilligan, where's the hot water?
Thurston: Water boy,
where are you hiding?
Mary Ann: Gilligan, I need hot water!
I'm coming, I'm coming.
Gilligan, gilligan, can't you hear everyone
yelling for hot water?
I can hear them if I was in Hawaii.
Very funny. Besides, what
were you doing up in the jungle?
I got tired of going to the lagoon for water
and bringing it back to camp
and boiling it to make hot water.
Well, where else are
you gonna get hot water?
Out of a hole in the ground?
How'd you know?
Well, I just figured that you
how do I know what? That I get hot water
out of a hole in the ground.
Well, where is it, gilligan?
Oh, is it here?
It's around here someplace.
Well, I don't seem to be able to find it.
Is it over here?
Oh, I know, skipper.
[Hissing]
You found it!
Gilligan, look! Gilligan, look!
Hey, professor! Professor!
Boy, wait till the others hear about this.
What's going on?
Hot water! Ha ha ha ha!
Of course, that means there's
underground thermal activity.
Well, I know what it means to you.
It means to me I don't
have to boil any more water.
Oh, boy! Hot showers, a hot bath!
Of course, it could also
mean an active volcano.
Professor: "Volcanoes in the
south pacific islands follow a pattern."
"There is a noticeable rise in the
temperature of the earth's crust,
"followed by a rumbling sound,
"a blinding flash of light,
"and then a severe earth tremor.
Total destruction can be
expected when these things occur."
Professor! Hey, professor!
Hi, professor.
Oh, hi, gilligan.
Maybe you could help me
solve a problem.
How do I get the hot water to camp
without carrying it?
Well, that's very simple.
Just use some bamboo
rods to make a pipeline.
Oh, thanks, professor.
Talking to you is like
looking up the answers
in the back of a book.
You going someplace?
As a matter of fact, I'm going
to the other side of the island.
What for?
Oh, I just want to look around.
There's a very rare species of something
over there I'd like to examine.
Well, why go all the way over there?
Maybe it'll come over here.
Well, that's what I'm afraid of.
I mean, I'd rather not
wait until it gets here.
Mmm. Hey, what's this?
That's a thermometer.
How big is that thing
you're gonna examine?
Could be enormous.
Well, how are you gonna get
close enough to take its temperature?
I intend to approach it very cautiously.
Oh, well, you better take this.
What for?
Make it stick out its tongue to say "ahh."
Heh, oney.
[Grunt] Twosies.
Wish I had a Porter.
Thurston, after all,
gilligan found the hot water.
Therefore he owns it.
Yes, my dear, I know he found it.
I know he owns it.
But I intend to merge
his hot water company
with my cattle company.
Well, what will that give you?
Boiled beef.
Oh, lovey, my dear, I did make a funny!
Ah, my dear, this is just
the thing. There you are.
[Gasps] Thurston, that's money.
Don't you see, darling?
I intend to have gilligan
pipe his hot water into this trunk,
and that way, we'll always
be able to have a hot bath.
But thurston, what's more
important than money
did you say a hot bath?
Exactly.
Faster, thurston, faster.
Dishwashing with running hot water.
You know what that means?
No more broken nails.
Oh, no more chapped hands.
As Davy Crockett said
when he shot the last Indian,
"no more red skin."
Professor: There will be a noticeable rise
in the temperature of the earth's crust.
Gilligan, my boy, pipe that hot water
immediately into the ho well hut.
Now just a minute, Mr. Howell,
let's be fair about this.
Fair? Ooh, how vulgar.
Just tap the water
right over there, gilligan.
Mary Ann has the
dishes ready and waiting.
Oh, gilligan, now, come on.
Little buddy, you know how happy
a hot shower makes me,
and when I'm happy,
I don't yell at anybody, do I?
Just a minute, skipper, that's coercion.
And coercion is sneaky
and underhanded,
to be used only by a ho well.
We need the hot water
for the dishes, gilligan.
Well, I say a shower is more important.
Pipe that water to the ho well hut!
Wait a minute, wait a
minute, wait a minute.
What if I told you
everybody can get hot water.
What would you say to that?
Out of one small little
hole in the ground?
Just leave everything to me.
Well, I don't know about that
it isn't we don't trust you, gilligan.
You see, it's just that leaving you
in charge of a construction job
is like leaving a lit match
in charge of dynamite.
Skipper, get ready for your hot shower.
Mr. Howell, get ready for your hot bath,
and ginger, tell Mary Ann
the hot water is on the way.
Are you sure you know
what you're doing, gilligan?
Uh-huh. This time, nobody's
gonna be able to say,
"gilligan, you did it again."
Ooh, I'm gonna hmm.
Everybody ready?
Mary Ann: Ready.
Skipper: All set, gilligan.
Thurston: Let her pour.
The little tide should be coming in
any minute now, little boat.
Hot water, here we come.
96 97
98
99 leaks.
Oh, could have been worse.
It could have been 100.
[Hissing]
Gilligan, my boy,
did you, uh, happen to drop that?
These are $100 bills.
100s? Oh, uh, perhaps
you dropped those?
These are $1,000 bills.
You should be more careful
about dropping money
out of your pocket, my boy.
Yes, Mr. Howell.
What do I got in my pocket?
Let's see, uh
2 marbles, 7 cents, and my lucky charm.
A lucky charm?
According to the rest of that stuff,
you're on a losing streak.
This must belong to you, Mr. Howell.
Well, perhaps it does,
but it could find its way into your pocket
if you would Grant
me just one small favor.
I'll do you a favor for nothing.
Nothing? Nothing.
Would you pipe that
hot water into my hut
for my own private hot bath?
It wouldn't be fair.
Fair! Oh, there goes that word again!
Gilligan, I'll let you use my tub
every other Saturday night,
including the sailboat.
Mr. Howell, the skipper
wants to take a shower
and the girls need it for the dishes.
Well, they want it
as much as this, hmm?
Beautiful sound, isn't it?
[Hums]
Hee hee hee. Smell it, my boy.
Here, taste it.
Uh, don't bite it.
I'm sorry, Mr. Howell.
Unless I can figure out a way
to make everybody
share it, nobody gets it.
Well, there goes the end
of a beautiful friendship.
[Bubbling]
[Rumbling]
What was that?
J.p. Morgan turning over in his grave.
What are you doing?
Thinking.
What are you thinking about?
The hot water.
Can we help you think?
Oh, that won't help.
How about this?
That'll just mix me up.
Gilligan, honey.
Oh, gilligan, dear. Skipper!
Professor: If the temperature
of the earth's crust
rises 8 degrees,
a blinding flash of
light could be expected.
Gilligan, the hugging and the kissing
is just to show how much we love you.
Why, there's no one in the world
that I love as much as I love you.
Is that the truth?
If I'm not telling the truth,
may lightning strike.
[Boom]
Ahoy there, little buddy.
Hi, skipper. I'm sure glad it's you.
Well, and I'm glad it's you.
I mean, uh, that is, the
fact that we're alone,
now we can have a buddy to buddy talk,
right, little buddy? Right.
And you won't try to trick me,
'cause you're my best friend.
If you can't trust your
best friend to play fair,
you can't trust anybody.
We well, exactly.
I mean, you can trust me.
Sure.
You see what I mean?
Care to take in my laundry when it's dry?
Skipper, you're going
swimming in the lagoon?
Well, I guess I'll have to, gilligan,
since I don't have a shower.
Oh.
Skipper, you want to take
a nice, hot shower?
Yes!
Think warm.
Professor: The volcano will
signal the eruption to come
by an earth tremor.
[Rumbling]
Then the entire area will
shake violently within 5 seconds.
[Rumbling]
[Clamoring]
Hey, quiet, quiet!
No hot bath, no hot
water for your dishes,
and no hot shower. Some friends.
Sometimes I just wish the earth
would just open up and swallow us up.
[Rumbling]
Uh, skipper, that never happened before.
Well, I hope it never happens again.
I know something else that
never happened before
it never snowed. Oh, gilligan,
it doesn't snow on a tropical island.
Yeah, look.
I wonder if we're on
the Christmas Island.
I'm trying to make some
snowballs, but it won't pack.
It isn't snow, gilligan.
It's volcanic ash.
There's an active volcano on the island.
You mean the kind that goes
Rumble, Rumble, varoom?
Where hot lava comes boiling down?
And the island explodes?
And sinks into the ocean?
Ooh, sounds perfectly dreadful.
Looks even worse.
Hey, professor, great
news. They stopped.
Who has stopped, gilligan?
The spouts have stopped spouting.
And the volcano has stopped volcanoing.
Erupting. That, too.
Unfortunately, it simply means
that the gases are gathering force
and could explode at any moment.
Well, that's terrible.
However, there is a way
to neutralize the volcano,
by countering its energy force
with an equal energy force.
Oh, that's terrible.
No, that's good.
Sounds terrible.
In layman's terms,
if I could explode a bomb in a tunnel
near the base of the volcano,
its force would blow it out
the same way you'd blow out this candle.
[Blows]
But, professor, where are you
gonna get a bomb that big?
From materials right here on the island.
As a matter of fact, I'm making
a crude form of Nitroglycerin
powerful enough to blow off
that entire mountaintop.
You're making Nitroglycerin?
Why, yes. Sulfuric acid from the
crystallized copper in the caves,
glycerol from papaya seeds,
and potassium nitrate
from the rocks at the lagoon.
You hear that? He's
making Nitroglycerin.
Any questions? Yeah, I have a question.
Good, gilligan. What's your question?
What's Nitroglycerin?
Gilligan, will you keep quiet?
Better still, gilligan,
will you get me a piece of vine
that I can use as a fuse?
Uh, about 7 inches long.
Yeah.
Dry, but not brittle. Mm-hmm.
Uh, pliable, but not soft.
You can count on me.
And, skipper, I'll need a clock
I can use as a timing device.
We'll be back in no time, professor.
Good, since we have
practically no time left.
Aaah! Let's go, gilligan!
Ah, that's too brittle.
I think that's too wet.
Hmm.
No, that's too dry.
You're not going to
eat that stuff, are you?
Of course not. The
professor's making a fuse
for a bomb. He's
gonna blow the volcano.
Well, that's not the way
to blow up a volcano.
I was in a movie once,
and that's not what the natives did.
What did they do? Well, they took
the handsomest man in the tribe
and the most beautiful woman
I bet you played the woman.
Oh, gilligan, sometimes you have
a keen, analytical mind.
Thanks.
Anyway, they made a big banquet for us,
and they put beautiful flowers in our hair
and lovely bells around our ankles,
and the drums roared
and the children cried.
And I thought you said
you weren't going to eat that stuff.
I always eat popcorn at the movies.
Needs butter.
We walked bravely up the mountain,
and right to the volcano,
and we threw ourselves into it.
Into the volcano?
You can get killed that way.
That was the whole point of it.
The volcano's appetite was
appeased by the sacrifice,
and it never exploded.
Anyway, that's the way
we did it in the movie.
Oh, I don't know.
You could save everybody
else, but you could end up
ginger. Oh, no.
Ginger, help!
I got it from the howells, professor.
He sold it to me.
Are they at the lagoon?
Well, he is, but she
can't make up her mind
which diamond to wear for an explosion.
Almost finished.
Oh, be careful, huh?
Yes, it's highly volatile.
The slightest move could set it off.
Oh, well, be real careful.
Where is gilligan? I need that fuse.
Well, I'll find him, professor.
One part nitric acid
And 2 parts glycerol.
You want something done,
you've gotta do it yourself.
Professor, ginger's gonna
throw herself in the volcano.
[Pants] Huh? Oh.
Oh, boy.
Gilligan, where have you gilligan, stop!
I'm sorry, skipper,
but I ran all the way and I was thirsty.
But you don't understand.
You wouldn't like it
anyway. It tastes awful.
Oh, I'll bet it did.
Professor: Powerful enough to
blow up the entire mountaintop.
Gilligan, I don't want you to get alarmed
or get nervous, but you
just drank the Nitroglycerin.
I what?
Professor: The slightest
move can set it off.
Gilligan, no! D-Don't shake.
But I can't help it.
Skipper, my knees are knocking.
Stop it!
Gilligan, don't you
realize that if you move,
half the island will blow up.
I don't care about the island.
I'm worried about me.
But, gilligan, if the island blows up,
you'll be leading the way.
Skipper, do something.
Alright, little buddy,
let me take you outside
and find you a nice,
quiet place to Blow up.
Please move slowly.
Slowly, gilligan oop!
Dust, dust!
That's gonna make me sneeze.
Aaaah! Don't sneeze.
Aah, aah
Aah-choo!
Sit down. Easy, now. Easy, gilligan.
Skipper, you better
go down to the lagoon.
Little buddy, I am
sticking right here with you.
You better go because
now it's my turn to
aah-choo!
Still here.
Gilligan, please, now sit quietly.
Don't move a muscle.
I'm going down and get the professor.
Better hurry.
Don't move a muscle, gilligan.
Now let's see,
there's my cosmetic case,
and my Jewel case
and my pill case and
oh, uh, gilligan?
I can't move.
Oh, you poor boy. Where does it hurt?
Uhh! I don't feel a thing.
You don't feel a thing?
Mrs. Howell, I might blow up!
Oh, don't you dare get angry with me.
I mean blow up for real. I drank some
oh, that's why you don't feel a thing.
You've been dipping into
Mr. Howell's private stock.
Demon rum is your worst enemy.
No, I didn't drink rum,
I drank Nitroglycerin.
Oh, mixed drinks are even worse.
Gilligan, hurry up!
The volcano's about to explode.
So am I, and I can't move.
My gosh, that's terrible.
Quick, run down to the lagoon.
Why, I'm not gonna go without you
a a a ah!
See if I can find out what's wrong.
I know what's wrong, I can't move.
Well, maybe it's a reflex thing.
Cross your legs.
I'm afraid to.
Oh, gilligan oh, Mary Ann.
Gilligan. Mary Ann!
Now, when I hit you
oh!
Maybe I should hit you harder.
No. If you hit me any harder,
you'll turn me into a Jigsaw puzzle.
What?
You see, I drank this Nitroglycerin.
Any minute, I could explode.
Explode?
Yeah. Boom!
Oh, gosh. I better go get the professor.
Uh, skipper went to get him, too.
Oh, oh, you just sit here,
and you try not to think about it.
Oh, because if you think about it,
you're liable to get all upset.
And if you get all upset,
you're liable to go to pieces.
Oh, I mean never mind.
Go get the professor.
I have a terrible itch,
and if I scratch it
oh, no! No, no, no!
Oh, don't scratch!
Come on, professor, hurry up, please!
Will you tell me what this is all about?
I drank the Nitroglycerin
that was in the coconut cup.
You what?
I tried to stop him, but it
was too late, professor.
What did it taste like?
Mmm, needed a little salt.
It's too watery.
Well, it was water, gilligan.
I was using the water in that cup
to dilute the other ingredients.
Then I'm not gonna blow up?
Gilligan, I oughta blow you up personally.
Of all the stupid things
that I've ever heard
we haven't got time for a talk.
We've got to bomb that volcano.
Gilligan, get down to the lagoon.
Tell the others to get down there, too.
Ginger, Mary Ann, the howells
ginger. Oh, my gosh, ginger.
She's gonna throw herself
in the volcano.
Throw herself in the volcano?
She does it all the time.
It's an old native custom.
You see, they get the handsomest man
and the most beautiful girl
ginger plays the part of the girl
and they put flowers in their hair,
and bells on their toes, and the drums
gilligan, never mind that.
Get down to the lagoon! Yeah.
Skipper, we've got to
get that clock in the bomb.
According to my calculations,
we've only got a few minutes left.
Well, we'd better hurry! Ooh!
Ginger! Ginger! Hi.
Hi.
Oh, you didn't throw yourself
in the volcano. Of course not!
I've got something real
important to tell you.
What? What?
Oh! The professor's gonna
blow up the volcano.
Oh, my goodness! We
better get back to the lagoon!
[Whispering] Yeah, lagoon. Yeah.
Ginger?
Ginger!
Ohh!
Where are we?
I don't know, but that first step is a doozy.
One thing's for sure
we can't get out the way we got in.
Thanks.
[Hissing]
This is not a good place.
You can let go of my hand now, gilligan.
You can let go of my hand now, gilligan.
Hey, there's tunnels.
Maybe they lead out of here.
I'll go this way and you go that way.
Yeah.
Don't be scared, ginger.
Don't be afraid, ginger.
Ginger, just be brave like me, okay?
Okay. Aaaaaah!
[Crash]
Your tunnel goes around in a circle.
[Rumbling]
What's that? It's the volcano.
Sounds like it's going to explode.
Yeah. I think this is the cave
where the professor's
gonna throw the bomb.
Both: The bomb?!
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Professor, for goodness sakes
I asked you to be careful, skipper.
Oh, I wish you'd given us more time.
Well, there's plenty of time.
The pit's right back there.
Are you ready?
Alright, professor.
Do you want to know what time it is?
Gilligan, that's not important.
It's 8 to zero.
8 what?
I don't know. Here. See?
Gilligan, I think that's the
bomb the professor built.
Are you sure?
Take a closer look. That's it!
Oh, yes. Here, you take it.
No, you take it. No, you take it.
I thought I heard gilligan.
Oh, don't be silly. He went to the lagoon.
No, you take it. You saw it first.
Now it's 7 to zero.
Professor, I'm sure that was gilligan.
Skipper, that bomb is going to go off!
Get rid of it!
Bye, bomb.
Aaah! Aaah! How'd that happen?
Well, get rid of it!
W-w-w-where? In the pit!
And this time, don't throw it, drop it!
Drop it!
Ooh! Skipper! Aaah! Aaah!
Skipper, what are you doing down here?
And why did you bring that thing?
Aaaah! The bomb!
B-b-b don't just stand there, gilligan,
do something with it. Aaah
first one to drop it is out.
First one who drops it,
we all get out the hard way.
Where's the professor?
He's up top side.
All: Professor!
Grab the vine!
Oh, professor! Professor, help!
Come on, ginger, get going.
[Groans] Up, up.
Oh, oh.
Get the vine!
Alright, gilligan, you're next.
No, skipper, you go first.
Don't argue, gilligan.
The skipper always
goes up with his volcano.
No, skipper, you go first. I insist.
Gilligan, you are going up there now!
Besides, it'll take the 3 of
you to get me out of here.
Now come on, up!
Alright, pull!
[Grunts] Move it gi
pull, pull!
Alright, skipper.
Hold on!
[Groans]
[Ticking]
Alright, pull!
Let's get out of here!
Gilligan!
What? That!
Get it off of him!
[Boom]
Did anybody else get killed besides me?
Gilligan, you're very much alive.
We all are.
I guess we're gonna stay that way. Look.
Ginger: Gilligan, hot water.
Thurston: Water boy,
where are you hiding?
I'm coming, I'm coming.
Mary Ann: Gilligan,
hot water for the dishes.
Where are you hiding?
Look, I said I was coming
a a a a a ah!
They're here for a long, long time ♪
they'll have to make the best of things ♪
it's an uphill climb ♪
the first mate and his skipper, too ♪
will do their very best ♪
to make the others comfortable ♪
in the tropic island nest ♪
no phone No lights
no motorcars, not a single luxury ♪
like Robinson crusoe ♪
it's primitive as can be ♪
so join us here each week, my friends ♪
you're sure to get a smile ♪
from 7 stranded castaways ♪
here on gilligan's isle ♪