Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s02e27 Episode Script

1
Surprise!
Jade.
- Jade.
Mom, dad!
Hope you don't mind
us dropping in
uninvited.
Cousin Jackie.
It's so good
to see you again.
You have been
such a wonderful
role model for Jade.
Oh, well, thank you.
I--ow!
You take credit
for my good
influence?
Uncle!
- Uncle!
Uncle!
Is uncle
everyone's uncle?
He's actually
our cousin.
Aren't you?
What brings you all
to Hong Kong?
We've banished
the last demon.
Demon?!
- Demon?!
Uh
Uh, right.
Uh, the demon is the name
of a roller coaster
at the new Hong Kong
moose world.
Look at the cool watch
Jackie got me there.
Watch: Hey, hey, hey!
I'm Marlon moose.
Oh.
Please, have a seat.
We will make tea.
Wipe your feet.
Easy, t. If mom and dad
find out about all this
demon stuff,
there's no way they'll
let me stay with Jackie.
Ah, ancient history.
The portals are sealed,
the demons
have been banished
Even shendu is no more.
Aah!
Stop!
What is it now,
shendu?!
Admittedly, I have
failed you, my siblings.
Aah!
But I may yet save you
as well.
We can all
regain our freedom,
and even reclaim
the centuries wasted
in this void,
if you allow me to pursue
one last recourse.
Ha! And that would be?
The book of ages.
(All gasp)
Ludicrous.
Even we never dared
to tamper with that.
You risk altering
the very fabric
of reality.
Am I to assume this reality
pleases you, sister?
Hmm. These are
desperate times.
Then I will
make things right.
All you need do is
allow me to once more
depart from this realm
and possess a human.
The right human.
More tea?
Oh.
Jackie?
(Gasps)
My tea cup!
Quickly, before it stains.
Shendu: A broken tea cup
is the least of--
a dem--
well, this was fun.
Gotta go.
You are leaving?
So soon?
We'll be back.
It's just, um,
Jackie's, um
Allergic
Yeah, uh--
(muffled threats)
Um, the tea makes
his eyes all red.
(Shendu struggling)
What is he saying?
Uh, thank you very much.
Good-bye!
Uhh!
Aah!
- Hey.
(Both gasp)
So reckless.
(Groans)
Quickly.
Jade
You are not going anywhere
but to your room.
You are moving back home
with us immediately!
I am?
We are very sorry, Jade,
but it seems it is
unsafe for you
to remain
with cousin Jackie.
He is clearly
a troublemaker.
Jackie's not
a troublemaker
But he is in trouble.
I could not find Jackie.
Me, neither.
(Sighs)
Same here.
Jade.
- Jade?
(Cell phone rings)
Hello?
Jade!
- Jackie?!
I'm at the airport.
Shendu's flying
to Australia.
Australia? Why?
Unh. He--ooh--
shendu: You will
find out soon enough.
Jackie? Jackie!
Captain black,
requesting satellite
surveillance
to track Jackie.
Yeah, that's right,
Jackie.
And we're gonna
need a jet. A fast one.
The book is close at hand.
(Chanting)
Jackie!
Unh!
Whoa.
Don't know
what you're doin',
but it can't be good.
(Gasps)
Shendu: Ah, here we are.
The book of ages,
where all history
is magically recorded.
History lesson's over,
shendu!
Whoa--unh!
So it is written,
so it shall be.
(All gasp)
Jade.
- Jade.
Mom? Dad?
What are you doing here?
Uh, Hong Kong
moose world?
Why aren't you
at the palace?
And where did you find
those strange clothes?
I was gonna ask you two
the same thing.
And what do you have
in your hand?
(Musical fanfare plays)
Hurry. We must
pay our respects.
Respects? To who?
What's goingOn?
Jade, it is forbidden.
Get down.
(Gasps)
Shendu!
Shendu's alive?
I gotta tell--
(Gasps)
Jackie?
Jackie, your hair.
What are you doing?!
Hmmph!
Your job.
Sweeping dragon doo-doo?
Where have you been,
Jade? Where is your
uniform?
Um, why, exactly, do we
have to wear uniforms?
Because it is required
of all servants
of the supreme ruler,
his majestic highness,
lord shendu.
Are you telling me
shendu rules the world?
Oh, of course not.
Each of the 8 emperors
has his or her own
domain.
Since when?
Since the Dawn
of history.
What is wrong
with you today?
History.
Uncle said that
book of ages
magically
recorded history.
When shendu wrote in it,
he must have rewrote
the past
so he was never
destroyed,
and the demons
were never banished
through their portals.
And now
(Gasps)
I'm in demon world!
Jackie, we gotta talk.
Jackie?
Jackie? Where'd you--whoa!
Today you must scrub
master's bath chamber.
No way!
Then fill his tub
with fresh muck.
Eww!
(Gags)
And it's talonsday,
so don't forget to trim
master's toenails.
Jackie, listen to me!
I don't work for shendu,
and neither do you.
Demons don't rule the world,
humans do.
The demons were banished
into the netherworld
by the 8 immortals
a long time ago.
Then they got out,
and we banished 'em again.
But shendu possessed you,
found this magic book,
changed the past,
and now none of that
ever happened.
That's crazy, Jade.
You're crazy.
Humans ruling the world!
It's true. We built cities,
with cars and computers and--
my watch. Look at my watch.
What's a watch?
Watch: Hey, hey, hey!
I'm Marlon moose.
Aah!
Magic is outlawed.
You know that.
It's not magic,
it's technology.
Human technology.
And you gave
this watch to me.
But I guess you wouldn't
remember that.
Jade, if what you say
is true, why don't I
remember any of it?
I don't know. Maybe--
(Gasps)
"And Jade chan
became a wily accomplice
in the battle versus evil."
This is from the book,
and it's about me.
It didn't get rewritten,
so neither did I.
That's why I remember.
And that's why I'm still
wearing these clothes.
(Gong sounds)
The dinner gong. Quickly,
you must change into these
before master sees you.
(Sighs)
- Guess I don't exactly blend.
Better keep my life story
someplace safe.
Jackie, where'd you go?
Jackie?
Dance, my jesters. Dance!
Ow!
- Ooh!
Hot! Hot! Hot!
Shendu: Dance!
No way.
You!
Uh
Heh heh.
Why do you not bow?
Uh--
- oh--uh--yes--
y-your scariness,
please excuse my
slow-witted niece.
Uh--unh!
If she were not excused,
she would be in flames.
Now fetch my dinner!
Yes, master.
Jackie.
(Clears throat)
Tasty treats for his
glorious excellence.
What a good slave you make,
Jackie chan.
My Joy is
to serve you, master.
Mmm.
Keeping one's enemies close
is not just wise,
it is gratifying.
Shendu remembers
the way things were,
too.
Child!
Uh, yes, master?
It's talonsday.
Gross!
(Sighs)
You forgot
master's clippings.
Jackie, there is no way
I am ever going near
his feet again!
And shendu treats you
like a dog on a leash.
I can't stand it.
Well, what can I do?
I'm just a food servant.
His slave.
The Jackie chan I knew
was nobody's whipping boy.
He was a hero.
He was?
And you can be again, Jackie.
Help me fix history.
Help me rewrite the book.
(Wheezing)
Which way?
But servants aren't
allowed in the library.
I told you,
we aren't servants.
Jade, be careful.
Whoa.
Ow!
Get out!
Uncle?
Only master's library
boys allowed in here.
Uncle, we need
your help.
We're looking
for a book.
Forbidden! These books
are filled with magic.
Even I am not allowed
to read them.
The book of ages--
never heard of it.
Are you sure?
Maybe it's over here.
No, it is not.
How about here?
Not there.
Well, maybe over here.
No. I have been
library boy
for 60 years.
I am sure.
Really?
- Really.
In that case
(Gasps)
Forbidden magic!
Relax, it's just
an atlas.
If the book's not here
in shendu's library,
there's only one other
place it could be.
Australia.
Oi-ya! No man's land.
That continent is forbidden.
There is nothing there, Jade.
Just a fortress.
(Scoffs)
Fortresses are
usually built
to protect something.
Duh!
But it is said that all
who approach the fortress
will be destroyed.
Well, we have
to get inside it
somehow.
Why?
'Cause shendu used
the book of ages
to rewrite reality.
That is crazy.
You do not believe her,
do you?
(Sighs)
There is one thing
that I believe.
Demons ruling the world
is a bad thing.
Cool. Look, uncle,
I can prove I'm
telling the truth.
Watch: Hey, hey, hey!
I'm Marlon moose.
Ayah!
(Scream echoing)
Shh. You will alert the--
(wind howls)
(Whispering)
Shadowkhan!
She opened the book.
Heh. Get 'em, Jackie!
Get them?
You know, hah! Heeyah!
Hoowah! Huh! Hi-yah!
Huh! Hi-yah!
Oh! The martial arts
are outlawed.
I do not know
how to fight.
Serious?
But I do know
how to run!
Uhh!
Uhh! My hair!
You were due for a trim.
Wait!
This way!
Er, this way!
The front door.
(Both gasp)
Uh, the side door.
Don't suppose
there's a back door?
Jade: Wait for me!
Cool!
Master's magic chamber.
Entrance to this room
is punishable by--uhh.
(Uncle chanting)
Huh? Uncle!
(Gasps)
You saved our--ow!
What choice did I have?!
You are family.
A chi spell?
Thought you weren't allowed
to read the forbidden books.
I do not read.
I--I skim.
We must leave,
uncle.
It is only a matter
of time before
shendu discovers
you use magic to
Kibosh his ninjas?
But where will we go?
All aboard the Jade express
to Australia.
Oh, we are doomed!
Even if we escape
from here,
we have no way
to journey
to no man's land.
The talismans
would sure help.
What talismans?
What talismans?
Uncle, let me reacquaint you
with a little magic trick
you once knew.
This'll let us grab
the 12 talismans
that give shendu
his magical powers.
There is
no such thing!
Watch me.
Believe me now?
Chan?!
Oh!
Jackie!
Aaaahhhhh!
Jackie!
Hey, Jackie.
Yes?
How many different dialects
of Chinese do you speak?
Oh, cantoneseLei ho ma?
Mandarin
(Speaking mandarin)
Chengdu
(Speaking chengdu)
Shanghai
(Speaking Shanghai)
Thai
(Speaking thai)
Very good Korean.
Ok EnglishHow are you?
Japanese, of course
(Speaking Japanese)
SpanishCmo ests?
Morocco
(Speaking arabic)
Russian
(Speaking Russian)
Unh! What--what happened?
Now I'm mixed up.