Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s02e29 Episode Script

1
Looks like we missed
the garage sale.
What we are looking
for is most likely
well-hidden, Jade.
According to
an 18th century text
found in a museum,
this palace was the
last known home of
the cat of Khartoum.
(Cat meows)
I think I hear it!
It is a statue, Jade,
not an actual--
(frustrated cries)
Oh, kitty! Got your
little leg all caught
in palace junk?
(Meows)
You're welcome!
Hungry, girl?
So, what's your name?
Rrr-bbbeee
rrr-bbbeee.
Ruby! Ha ha ha!
That tickles Ruby!
Odd. This tile is not as
weathered as the others.
Perhaps
Ahh!
(Agitated yowls)
What's the matter, girl?
Booby trap!
Mayday!
(Both coughing)
Jade, are you--
fine.
(Agitated yowl)
It's ok, Ruby.
That kind of stuff happens
all the time when you
hang out with uncle Jackie.
(Gasps)
- The cat of Khartoum!
That's it?
Looks like something
you buy at a swap meet
for a buck.
Worth quite a bit more,
young lady.
(Gasps) Valmont!
Thanks ever so
for finding the cat
for me, chan.
Now hand it over!
No! It belongs
to the museum!
Yeah, so step off!
We almost got pancaked
looking for that thing!
Please, let's not
compare hardships.
My men have been combing
this disgusting pig sty
for the past 3 days,
searching for that kitty.
Aw! Ruined my best shirt!
It's your only shirt.
Oh, look at my shoes!
Soon as we collect the
20 large for that kitty
statue, I'm gonna--
do put a sock in it, Finn.
Get that cat!
Hey! Maybe you
haven't heard,
but possession is
nine-tenths of the law!
Yeah? And this here's
the other two-tenths!
You need to work
on your math!
Yeah? Well, my math's
good enough to know
that 3-against-1
ain't very good odds!
Spare me the gladiator scene.
Just get the merchandise!
Yes! Keep your eye
on the kitty!
Jade: Go, Jackie!
You hit 'em high,
I'll hit 'em
Aah!
Low.
Ooh, he's got drapery!
What you gonna do,
redecorate?
Yes!
- Hey!
Wha--
(meows)
Jackie!
Ruby!
(Yowls)
Aah!
Ahh!
Ow!
Sharp little devil,
aren't you?
Jade, wait here!
Ohh!
Valmont,
this is very dangerous!
If we fall, we--
how do you do that?
It's all a matter
of balance, chan.
Case in point.
Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.
Whoa--uhh!
Aah!
(Sighs)
No way.
Fantastic! I've never
felt so alive!
Something about
this statue, chan.
It's good luck!
Good luck or bad magic?
This cafe is owned
by Cardiff zendo,
the largest
collector of art
objects in tangiers,
(whispers)
And known as a very
shady character.
Thank you.
I suspect
valmont and company
will be showing up
any time now
to conduct their
Business.
And then we take back
the cat. Right, Ruby?
(Meows)
Jade, you cannot
bring an animal into
a public restaurant!
It's not hygienic!
Jackie,
cats are very clean.
(Cell phone rings)
Is that you, uncle?
No! It is a magazine
salesman calling you
at 5:00 in morning.
Oh! Sorry.
It's almost lunchtime here.
Uncle has been
researching
the cat of Khartoum.
Yes, and did you
discover any unusual
legends or--
getting to that!
According to legend,
anyone who gets
scratched by claw
of statue--
becomes
like a cat himself.
Ooh! You already
know so much,
why you bother me?
There is one thing
I do not know, uncle.
What is the antidote?
Antidote?! Do not
get scratched
by claw of cat!
I mean, how do you
reverse the process?
Or, are you
getting to that?
No. Getting to bed.
Call you back later.
(Valmont slurping)
Dude, check it out.
Ahh!
Want a little
coffee with your
cream there, big v?
I'll give him one thing--
he's very tidy.
I say we collect
the dough for
this thing pronto,
get valmont
to a doctor.
Maybe there's
some kind of cure.
Don't you mean
a veterinarian?
(Both stifle laughter)
I heard that.
In fact, my hearing
has become quite acute.
There is no cure
because this is
not a disease.
It's a transformation
And I rather like
the new me.
Besides, why sell
to Cardiff zendo
for a mere 20 large?
This little kitty
should go to market,
where we can
auction it off to
the highest bidder,
or better yetHmm.
(Chuckles)
Uh, you got
a hairball, boss?
An inspiration.
Obviously, it was a
scratch from tabby here
that changed me into
the glorious specimen
you now see before you.
Why not use her
to create others
like myself?
Stealth, cunning,
and the agility of a cat!
Just one tiny
scratch away, boys.
We'll be able to steal
every treasure in the world!
We?
- We?
(Chuckles)
(Meows) Tassels!
I never realized what
pleasure they can give!
So, what do you say?
9 lifetimes of playing
with yarn balls.
Thanks, but no thanks.
Ditto.
Perhaps in time
you'll come to see
how wonderful
the feline life can be!
(Meows)
Excuse me, but there's
a phone call for you,
monsieur.
For me?
Yes. You may take it
in the back.
Perhaps uncle couldn't
reach me by cell phone.
Whatever.
Ha ha ha!
Hello?
Rrarr!
Did you want to
use the phone?
Uhh!
Uhh!
- Rrarr!
Mayday! Mayday!
Aah! Sorry.
I really should be
getting back to--whoa!
Ehh! Uhh! Ehh!
Pillow fight?
Aah!
Heh heh!
Uhh!
You are going to be
in big trouble
With the phone company.
Rrarr!
- Ohh!
Thank you.
(Chuckles)
It is I who should
be grateful, Mr. chan.
That display case
you nearly plowed into
contains many priceless
objet d'art.
You are Cardiff zendo.
So I am!
My treasures,
and soon joining them,
the most marvelous
collectible of all--
the cat of Khartoum.
But a little birdie
tells me you are after
the statue as well.
Yes, and I am sure
my niece has
located it by now.
If you like,
I will go and
find her, and--
that won't be necessary.
Get your hands off me
or I'll--I'll--
you don't even
want to know!
Let her go!
Yes, do let her go.
(Meows)
You have just given me
the most delightful
idea, Mr. chan--
one that will
benefit us mutually.
What?
Based upon the late hour,
I can only surmise
that Mr. valmont has had
second thoughts about
our little transaction.
Your niece will find him
and fetch me the statue.
In exchange,
you get your freedom.
No! It is too dangerous!
I'll give you, say, an hour
to complete the task--
that is, if you ever want
to see your uncle again.
Don't worry, Jackie.
I'll nab that tabby.
Please, Jade.
Be very careful of
the statue's claws.
Hey, I know my way
around a cat.
(Whistles)
You touch one hair
on Jackie's head,
you're gonna have to
answer to me!
(Chuckles) Spunky.
Lock him up.
Heh.
So, how long
have you gentlemen
been in the
restaurant business?
(Cell phone rings)
Oh. I have to take this.
Nice chatting with you.
Uncle?
No. Irish sweepstakes.
You win a million bucks!
Please, uncle.
I need to know
about the--
getting to that!
Old Moroccan legend
of cat statue
speaks of a proverb--
"the antidote to
the cat curse lies within."
Lies within?
Lies within whom,
uncle?
No idea. Sounds
like fortune cookie
nonsense to me.
Naptime. Good-bye.
Why'd he bring us here?
Said it was
supposed to be a big score.
It's a crummy factory.
(Sniffs)
Tcha, with a vault.
I'm starting to like
the new valmont.
He's thinking bigger,
working new angles.
Sweet!
(Purrs)
Good girl, Ruby!
You found him.
Lassie's got nothing on you!
A cow factory?
Oh, big v,
that is so gross!
Yeah, and all
that cholesterol!
(Meowing)
Shh! They'll hear us!
What is it, girl?
(Slurps)
Oh, that's nothing
to worry about.
Just a big old tub
of--cream! Duh!
That's the trail
you were following.
Whatever.
You still found valmont.
Be back in 2 shakes
of a tail.
(Slurps)
(Sniffs)
(Growls)
We have us
a cat burglar.
Time to scat, cat!
(Hisses)
Whoa!
(Yowls)
Cats hate water.
(Meows)
Don't worry, Ruby.
I won't let you get--
hey, let me go!
(Yowling)
Hey! Cut it out!
Aah!
- Uhh!
(Rip)
Ow! You owe me for
a new pair of jeans!
Ok, you've got your statue.
Finally!
The cat of Khartoum!
Mine!
Yes! And without
having to spend a
penny to acquire it!
Oh! I was not,
of course, implying
that you're cheap,
Mr. zendo.
(Nervous laugh)
You'll find your uncle
in the supply closet
off the hall.
No hard feelings,
my impressive young friend.
Jade!
Told you
I'd find the statue.
I'm just glad
you are unharmed.
Why wouldn't I be?
Now, let's get
the plaster cat back
from that zendo creep!
You wait here, please!
I suspect zendo will not
surrender the cat easily.
Mmm! (Slurps) Mmm!
Got evaporated milk?
(Gasps) Those claws,
those teeth!
Yes. The artistry
is marvelous.
(Gasps)
Zendo: Valmont!
Oh, dear.
Look at the time.
I must go do
that thing
That I must go do.
(Snarling)
Oh!
How delightful
to see you!
Yes. I was
absolutely
beside myself
to hear of how
that awful
little scamp
stole the statue
before you and I
had a chance
to complete
our transaction.
Grrr!
But, of course,
you want your money.
20 large, as agreed.
Count it
if you like.
I just did.
Now, then, there is
one more thing I require--
my statue!
But I paid for it!
It's mine!
No! It belongs
to the museum!
And you belong to me, rat!
Jade: Think again,
katman-don't!
(Hisses)
Oh! Jade!
Hah!
You--you were
scratched by the statue!
They were old jeans,
anywho.
Oh, you mean
the turning-into-
a-cat thing?
I was wondering
about that.
(Valmont and Jade hiss)
Whoa. Cat fight.
Forget them! Get chan!
Aah!
No! (Gasps)
Babylonian urn!
What's a babylonian urn?
Probably
more than we do!
Here, kitty kitty.
(Hissing)
(Jackie grunting)
Ow!
- Uhh!
- Ohh!
Uhh!
- Uhh!
When in tangiers,
beware of
flying carpets.
(Ruby meows)
(Gasps) Jade?
Wha--
(grunts)
Uhh!
(Snarls)
Whoa! A mouse!
Mouse?
Uhh!
(Groans)
I think the words you're
looking for are, "me-ow."
Nobody messes with Jade,
queen of the jungle cats.
(Hisses)
Jade, you're not
a jungle cat.
I know that,
Jackie. Hello!
And I know I've
got to change back,
so how do I do it?
Um
What'd uncle say?
He said,
"the antidote lies within."
Sounds like fortune
cookie talk to me.
He said that, too.
Perhaps the statue itself
has some writing,
some clue as to
how to undo the curse.
We must find zendo.
(Plant rustles)
(Nervous laugh)
Where's zendo?
I don't know.
Truly I would tell you
if I did.
Let me put it
another way--
(hisses)
Aah! Mr. chan!
Young lady!
I'm delighted to see
you're all right.
I'm sure.
The statue.
Oh, yes, yes.
Of course.
I always felt
it belonged
in a museum.
Here's chappy!
(Gasps)
(Both hiss and spit)
No. This is too
dangerous to be
in a museum.
Uhh!
Wha--uhh!
The antidote
lies within--
within the
statue itself!
Uhh!
Uhh!
Ow! Please get off!
I bruise easily!
Well, that
was different.
The cat of Khartoum!
How could you?!
There's no use crying
over spilled milk.
Hey, Jackie!
What did you study
at Chinese opera?
Beginning, the teacher
really don't know
what I'm good for.
I train everything--
kicking, punch
All kind of things.
Suddenly he find out
I have a very--
pretty good voice.
(Sings Italian opera)
After that, the opera
is not famous anymore.
Then I'm back
to training.
Almost whole day,
nonstop training
until 11:00, 12:00.
When I take off my shoes,
ooh, stink.