Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s02e31 Episode Script

1
Announcer: Ladies and
gentlemen, please welcome
the dark hand!
(Hard rock playing)
Hello, Cleveland!
Get down! Get funky!
It's the seventies!
(Helicopter approaching)
(Feedback echoes)
We're not even
doing anything
wrong.
You were off-key.
Chan!
(Gasping)
I gotta get away
from chan.
I will get away
from chan.
No more dark hand
means no more chan.
I'll start my own
crime syndicate.
Look out world!
Finn's goin' solo!
(Crickets chirping)
Uh, first thing
in the morning.
Is this late huang dynasty
or early ming?
Um
It is from China.
(Sighs)
Ow!
- You are
a terrible salesman!
You must know
the merchandise!
Uncle's right,
tohru.
For example
This lovely lamp
is from the
junk dynasty.
You are not helping, Jade.
Uncle: You need
sales training!
Jackie will assist.
I will?
And Jade will
mind the store.
Cool!
Do I get paid?
Sell something,
and we will talk.
Let the sell-a-thon
begin!
Welcome to uncle's rare--
take it! It's yours.
Oh, no, you don't!
I'm not taking
this thing.
Unless you
buy something.
Whew.
Uh, how much?
500 bucks?
Deal.
Whoo hoo! Yeah!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ah ha ha ha ha ha!
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
What's he
so happy about?
Uh, note
the hand-painted
details
and, um, ahem,
duck shape.
How nice.
I will take 2.
Ai-yah!
Tohru, you must
mention its age,
and, Jackie,
I did not believe
your performance
for a second.
Jade: Oh, uncle!
Somebody made a sale.
Ohh!
- Jade!
(Sighs)
But wait!
I also made
an acquisition.
(Gasps)
Uncle: Ai-yah!
(Echoing)
Ai-yah!
Ai-yah!
Infamous emerald
of killarney.
Feared throughout
the world.
Uh, feared?
That stone carries
an Irish curse,
bringing endless
bad luck to whomever
possesses it.
Ohh, Jade,
you are cursed!
Really?
I don't feel cur--
(Gasps)
I'm cursed!
One accident
does not make
a curse, Jade.
Uncle
is just being
superstitious--
aah!
I'm not saying
I believe
in this curse,
but perhaps
you should
give me that.
Just in case.
Did you see--
(cell phone rings)
Hello?
I'm bankrupt?! How
is that possible?
(Gasps)
(Softly)
The curse.
Ohh!
(Sighs)
Next.
Grrrr!
Oh! Ha ha ha.
Next.
(Sighs)
How can I launch
my solo career
without decent henchmen?
Chow: You're still
lookin' for muscle?
'Cause we're
lookin' for work.
After you quit,
we told valmont
he'd better give us raises,
or we'd quit, too!
And now you guys
want to work for me?
That is so c--
I mean, that's cool.
So, what's the job,
Finn?
Uh, call me boss.
There's a certain
priceless gem I've
been tracking
And I've just
met somebody
who knows
where to find it.
(Muffled)
Help!
Is this
really necessary?
You possess
the emerald now,
so you possess
the curse!
We must make certain
nothing bad happens to you.
Uncle, this is
something bad.
You cannot
pass your troubles
to someone else, Jackie.
You must Bear the curse
alone until I am able
to break it!
I understand, uncle.
But
(Grunts)
IMaxed out
my library card.
Everything
they got on
Irish legends.
Antique selling
for dummies?
Ah, that one is mine.
Where's Jackie?
Ha-chaa!
The curse
is transferred
when the emerald
changes hands.
Only if the exchange
is made willingly.
I had to agree
to take it.
That's why
- Mr. jitters was so eager
to make a deal.
One more thing.
The curse
may only be broken
by returning
the emerald
to Ireland
to the tomb
from which it
was stolen.
(Knocking on
cupboard door)
Jackie:
Can I come out now?
Jade:
I got you into this.
At least let me
help get you out.
Besides, you can't
go to Ireland by yourself.
You're cursed.
I can handle
- a little bad luck, Jade.
Uncle: Not without
uncle's lucky charms.
Garlic.
Good for digestion
and for luck.
One more thing--
rabbit's feet.
They work better
when they are still
on the rabbit.
And keep these with you
at all times, or else.
Or else what?
The rabbit
will get hungry!
Ahh. So far, so good.
Taxi!
Oh! Hey!
Uh, stop! Wait!
Here, bunny, bunny.
Aah! Oh!
Hey, look out!
Watch it, fella!
Sorry!
Unh.
Aah!
Aah!
Unh.
Oh, if I don't
break this curse,
it may break--
uh
The airport, please.
Th-that's where
I unloaded the emerald.
Chan?!
He has
the stone?
Of all the rotten luck!
Maybe we should
track down
a different emerald.
Yo, I'm the boss,
and I say we're
gettin' this emerald.
Hey, maybe chan
was too much
for the dark hand,
but we are
the Finn experience.
Look, trust me,
you don't want
that thing.
There's an Irish
curse on it.
There is?
Yeah, what,
the curse of killarney?
Hey, I'm Irish,
and every Irish dude
knows that curse
is a bunch of blarney.
Let's nail him!
Hey, who's
the boss here?
Let's nail him!
Man: Look out!
No bad luck.
No bad luck.
No bad luck.
No bad luck.
No--unh.
Could you please
raise your--
no.
Ahh.
Ireland. I made it
in one piece.
Huh?
Jade?
Uncle may
go for garlic
and rabbits,
but we both know
I'm your real
good luck charm.
Jade, you are going back
right now--ow!
Top o' the
morning to ya.
You're going back--ow!
You're--ow!
Why does everyone
keep doing that?
'Cause this is Ireland.
Jade: You're not
wearing green
And it's kind of
St. Patrick's day.
Jackie: Ow!
I should have--ow--
known the airline
would--ow--
lose my luggage--ow!
Come on, let's
get you some green.
(Cell phone rings)
Hello?
Uncle: Jackie,
I have been doing
more research.
Tohru is performing
an Irish good luck
spell for you.
Is it working?
I don't--ow--
think so.
You call that
an Irish jig, tohru?
That spell says you
must riverdance.
One more thing--
to avoid bad luck,
always wear a belt.
Uncle: Beware of men
named Seamus,
and never
- stand with your back
to an open door.
Are you making these up?
Do you want uncle's
help or not?!
(Gasps)
Open door.
(Gasps)
The dark hand?!
Not anymore.
We are Finn and
the revolution.
I thought we were
the Finn experience.
Ah, I'm still
playing around
with names.
Now give me
the stone.
The emerald?
Believe me,
you do not want it.
It's--
cursed?
Nice try, chan.
Now, hand it over.
Ok, Jackie,
this should--
uh-oh.
Jade, stay here.
(Grunts)
Uncle was right
about the belt.
I need those!
Then give me
the emerald.
You'll just sell it
and pass the curse
to someone else.
There is no curse.
Aah!
Hello.
Oops.
Finn: There he is!
(Jeering and laughing)
Why, lookee there,
Seamus.
Seamus?
Why, that fella's
not wearin' any pants,
Seamus.
Aye, Seamus,
and he's not wearin'
any green, neither.
No one escapes
from Finn, wind, and fire.
Unh.
Eww.
Lose something?
2 somethings.
Finn took the emerald.
Good! Now the curse
is his problem.
(Cell phone rings)
Hello?
Uncle:
- One more thing--
watch out
for pickpockets.
The curse
is transferred
when the emerald
is exchanged
willingly,
but if the gem
is stolen
Stolen?
The curse will
stay with you!
Forever!
Lucky me.
(Rumbling)
(Sighs)
Jackie:
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Jackie, please
put this on.
What's the point?
It will just
burst into flames or
See?
The curse.
Uncle said I'm
stuck with it forever.
But uncle
also said the curse
could be broken,
right?
All we have to do
is get that emerald
back to its tomb.
But how are we
supposed to find it?
The Finn, uh, guys,
could be
anywhere by now.
(Irish accent) Just leave
that wee problem to me,
why don't ya?
(Cheering)
(All gasp)
Alrighty, now.
Who stole me emerald?
(Gasps) Get out
of the garden.
A leprechaun!
That's right, lads.
I'm a leprechaun,
and if'n you can't
say where to find
the emerald of killarney,
I'll put the hex
on every last one of ya!
I heard about
some fellas
trying to sell
a Jewel
out at
the potato factory.
Then I'll spare ya
of me wrath this time.
Hang on, now.
He's a leprechaun.
If we catch him,
he's got to give us
his pot of gold.
Wait! I'm not
a leprechaun, ok?
I got this costume
at a--
is this some kind
of leprechaun trick?
Any luck?
Both kinds!
Man: The leprechaun!
Get him!
Hurry! This way!
Ya can't outrun Seamus!
(Rip)
What was that?
My pants.
Ok, what's the plan?
Sneak attack or--
the plan is for you
to wait here.
But the curse!
I will be fine, Jade.
I promise.
Heh heh.
It's a potato factory.
How dangerous could it be?
(Gulps)
Jackie needs help.
The leprechaun!
Get him!
(Gasps)
Curse?
Nah, there's no curse.
In fact, my luck
has never been better.
So, 3 million? Deal.
Ha ha! We never made
this kind of coin
workin'
for the dark hand!
The rolling
Finns rock!
Ha ha! My solo debut
just went triple-platinum!
No bad luck.
No bad luck.
No bad luck.
No bad luck.
No bad luck.
No bad luck.
All: Chan?!
Well, get him!
I love this machine!
It's kickin' chan's butt
for us!
Man: Gotcha!
Second man: You're mine!
Come here, you!
Think, Jade!
You can't escape,
leprechaun.
Alrighty,
you caught me.
Now, follow me,
and I'll lead you
to me pot o' gold.
Face it, chan.
You're no match
for Finn halen!
Now gimme
the emerald.
Willingly.
So, how does it feel
to be a loser, chan?
Actually,
I feel lucky.
Ohh! No! No!
Hey! Oof!
Both: Whoa!
Whoa!
This thing is cursed!
Jackie: I know
And I will take
the curse back
if you will
just leave me alone.
(Door opens)
Those men have it!
It's all yours, dude.
Man: Grrr. Alrighty,
hand it over.
I just did. He has it.
Not the emerald,
you pig-ignorant gum.
Every irishmen knows
that rock carries
a curse!
But the leprechaun
told us you lot
stole her pot o' gold!
Aah!
Hey, boss!
We quit!
You guys can't quit now!
I just settled
on a name!
Both: Whew.
Jade: Nothing's
gone wrong since
we left the tomb.
Looks like
you're officially
uncursed!
Yes, I think my luck
is finally changing.
Jackie, look out!
Aah! Ohh!
Aah!
Aah!
Whoa.
Black cat,
broken mirror,
and walking
under a ladder?
That's like
80 years
bad luck.
But those are
just superstitions.
Right?
Old man:
Hey, fella
You're standin'
right where
the trash bin goes.
Hey, Jackie.
Yes?
What's the hardest thing
you've ever had to do?
Typing.
Communication
with e-mail.
Internet.
Anybody write to me--
even Chinese,
I don't know
how to type back.
What can I do?
Some other things,
easy.
Stunt, rolling,
action, I can do it.
I just don't know
how to type.