Jackie Chan Adventures (2000) s02e39 Episode Script
The Amazing T-Girl
1
(Alarm blares)
The main vault.
I apologize in advance
if Jade has been on
one of her "talisman raids."
(Alarm stops)
Alarm circuit
disengaged.
I'm sorry.
Do you have clearance?
Captain black.
You did know
my technicians
would be installing
the new vault
security system today?
Must have missed
the memo, hirsch.
Ooh, I bet the higher-ups
heard I cracked
the old system.
Heh heh.
Jade has a very active
imagination.
(Whirring)
What are those?
Those would be
level 3 classified.
The kid's right.
Sorry, hirsch.
Classified or no,
those are not
on my list, captain.
They will have to go.
What?!
- What?!
I'll handle this,
Jackie.
You are so busted.
(Blows raspberry)
Black here.
Operations is insisting
we remove level 3 classifieds
from the vaul--
the talismans, sir.
Right.
The magic ones.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I see.
Well?
- Well?
We have to clear
the talismans
out of the vault.
Pronto.
Captain black is trying
to pull strings
with Washington,
but it does not look
promising.
Hmm.
What's
the big whoop?
We can keep
the talismans here
in one of uncle's
magic boxes.
The risk is too great.
The talismans
will be safest
from dark forces
on sacred ground.
We must take them
to the Ben-shui temple.
But--but isn't that,
like, near China?
Jade, the talismans
are unpredictable,
dangerous.
You should not be
playing with them
in the first place.
(Blows raspberry)
(Snip)
Testing.
I'm in.
I'm gonna miss you guys.
How about one last
hurrah,
for old times' sake?
Hmm.
(Hydraulic humming)
Uh-oh.
Huh?
Aah! Ooh--
(groaning)
Man: Section 13's a long way
from Washington,
captain black.
Black: I promise your trip
will be worthwhile, sir.
(Gasps)
Black: Follow me.
Once you see
just how powerful
these talismans are,
I'm sure you'll agree
it's imperative
we keep them here,
under lock and laser.
Whew.
Those guys must be blind.
Observe.
The power of
Invisibility.
Astonishing, isn't it?
I could be over here.
Or perhaps
I'm over here.
Hmm. Must not be
doing it right.
Never mind.
Let's try
Levitation.
(Grunting)
Uhh
IDon't understand.
It's--
running a section
can be very stressful,
captain black.
I'm authorizing 2 weeks
of r and r,
effective immediately.
I suggest you get
as far away from here
as possible.
I'm very sorry
about this.
You should be sorry.
We are not used to
traveling with outsiders.
You are ruining
our feng shui.
UhI meant
about the talismans.
I just couldn't
get the rocks
to work their magic.
You gotta have
the right touch.
Jade
Not even for
demonstration purposes?
No.
Rats!
Now, be a good girl
and play with your moose.
Guh-huh!
Right on,
Mr. mean jeans.
Yes
Magic approaches.
Potent magic.
Huh?
The talismans
of shendu!
Gan. Chui. Ren.
Reclaim the talismans
for the forces of darkness.
(Groans)
We must rest now.
Because the sun is high?
Because uncle
is pooped.
Right.
I'll scout ahead.
I'm not tired.
I'll scout, too.
Last one up the trail
is a monkey's talisman.
Ahoy there!
(Gasps)
Ahh!
You must be
the Ben-shui monks.
No! They're daolon wong's
dark warriors!
Hello!
Evil forces ahead.
Bad chi rising.
Why are you ignoring me?
What a coinkidink.
We were just on our way
to your temple
to give you these.
Jackie!
Jackie! Jackie!
Wake up!
Wake up!
- (Snoring)
Aah!
What am I doing there?
Astral projection?
But I didn't touch
the tal--
talk to myself later.
Jackie! Wake up!
(Sputtering)
What?
What is it?
Dark warriors!
That way!
You guys sure don't
talk much.
Vow of silence?
Jackie:
Captain black, no!
Uncle: They are impostors!
(All gasp)
Whoa, Nellie.
Jackie!
Take the talismans
to the temple, quickly!
Uncle! Jackie!
You won't believe this,
but--
wha--
no! The talismans!
The talismans!
Daah!
Hand over the talismans!
Huh?
Broken?
Told you.
Ohh!
The forces of darkness
have just grown
more powerful.
Do not be concerned,
friends.
The power of the talismans
lies within.
You got them back?
Jackie, Jackie.
The holy man speaks
in the mystical sense.
As in, "may the force
be with you."
Or, "we are the world."
Right?
Oh, no, no.
The power of the talismans
truly lies
Within.
Jade: Jackie, check it out!
I'm super strong.
Super fast.
Super gone.
Super chimp.
Super talisman powered.
I'm t-girl!
H-h-h-how?
Not sure, but I think
each finger controls
a different power,
which would leave 2
unaccounted for.
Not what I meant!
Oh. Not sure how
it happened.
Maybe
(Gasp) When I got zapped
in the vault.
Duh.
Aah!
Aah!
- Aah!
Whoa.
So that's how I do
heat beam eyes.
Maybe dragon blast
is my bellybutton.
No, Jade!
No dragon blast!
The powers must be
returned to their
proper vessels,
with a restoration spell.
Ohh
But we must first retrieve
the talismans themselves.
Well, what are we waiting for?
Let's find wong and stomp
his ancient, shriveled--
but, Jackie,
I have the power.
Which daolon wong wants.
Which is why
you must stay here
Safe.
The power of
Invisibility.
Am I over here?
Or perhaps over here?
Uuh?
Pah!
Dragon blast!
(Exasperated snort)
Heat beam eyes!
Forgeries!
We have been tricked!
(Sighs)
Rooster, ox, snake,
rabbit, sheep,
monkey, tiger, dog,
horse
Rat!
Haven't put that bad boy
to the test.
Motion to the motionless.
Guh-huh.
Why are we stopping?
Uncle has the willies.
Daolon: That's not all
that you have, old man.
Surrender the talismans
and--
let me guess.
No one gets hurt.
Who is this joker?
Whoa!
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
Daolon wong
is a very powerful
dark chi master.
No joke.
Now, where have you hidden
the real talismans,
chi wizard?
That would be
none of your beeswax.
Very well.
Ren!
Hyah!
Jade--
thank me later.
And, please, call me
T-girl!
And let's hear it
for her trusty sidekick
supermoose!
Guh-huh.
So
The talisman powers
reside within you.
Jade, no!
Horse and dog, Jackie.
I'm self-healing
And immortal to boot.
Seize her!
Guh-huh.
Antler action!
Pow!
Bam!
Ooh! Uhh! Uhh
Ooh
Heartbreaker.
(Sniffing)
Whoa--
uhh! Hey!
My warriors can smell
your magic.
Huh! Huh!
Huh! Hyah! Huh! Whoa!
Hyah! Hyah!
Lion!
And this one's
for the moose.
Aah!
- Aah!
- Aah!
Jade!
Heh. Had heat beams
in my eyes.
Huh!
Timber.
(Chanting)
All right, chi whiz.
Are you gonna go
quietly,
or do I have to
smoke you, too?
Wha--
uhh! What the hey?
ICan'tMove!
From the neck down
like your helpless friends,
so that you may not
draw power
from your fingertips.
Jackie: Jade! No!
Black: Don't make me
come over there.
Jade: Jackie!
(Grunting)
(Grunting)
Do not waste your strength.
Someone will come.
Let us hope
it is not a wolf.
Or a yeti.
Well, they have those
here, right?
Guh-huh.
This is a job
for supermoose.
(Humming)
I told you
someone would come.
LetMeGo!
I had hoped to possess
the talismans,
but I shall instead,
like yourself,
become them.
Yeah? Too bad you can't
get them out of me.
Can't I?
(Sniffing)
Hope he knows
where he's going.
Ow!
He is born
of talisman magic!
And magic seeks magic.
(Chanting)
Supermoose:
Da da da dah ta-dah!
Antler action!
Ohh!
Uhh! Gaach!
Whoa!
Gan! Ren! Chui!
(Gasp)
Ooh, let's rumble!
Right beside ya.
No!
Uncle needs
your assistance!
Jackie. Hello!
I may be a rag doll,
but I'm still t-girl.
Ohh!
Booster from
the rooster.
My pinky!
Chihuahua!
(Yipping)
Cute.
Dragon blast would be nice
right about now.
But heat beam eyes will do.
Hand over the girl.
Come and get me.
(Blows raspberry)
Whoa.
The tongue
is dragon blast. Wha--
(chanting)
T-girl!
Ohh!
(Chanting)
Guh-huh.
(Repeating chant)
(All chanting)
(Chanting)
(Blows raspberry)
Save your breath,
child.
The absorption process
has begun.
(Black, uncle,
and supermoose chanting)
(Chanting continues)
You are too late.
I have become
the talismans--aah--
(chanting continues)
Guh-huh.
Got my bones back.
I will have my revenge,
old man.
Nice spell.
All that daolon
absorbed from Jade
was a taste of
his own dark chi.
And the talisman powers
have returned to
their proper places.
Jade: Ohh
Do we have to leave
the talismans here?
Yes, Jade,
I'm afraid that we do.
(Cell phone rings)
Black here.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yes, Mr. vice president.
I fired off a memo
about the talismans
before we left, and
Let's just say
the veep's very intrigued
and wants a demonstration.
Jackie, I think
we should celebrate
by using
the horse talisman
to heal moosey.
The little fella
did dig us out
of a real mess, Jackie.
Seems the least
we could do.
(Sighs)
This is the last time.
Cool!
(Gasp)
Oh, boy.
Uh, what was
the dragon blast doing
in the horse talisman?
(Gasp) Uncle,
I fear there has been
a mix-up.
Hmph!
This never happened
to t-girl.
Hey, Jackie!
Yes.
What sorts of things
do you do to stay in shape?
Basically, training
with my stunt guy,
with my student,
3 hour a day.
Lift weight.
Fast--choo-choo-choo
choo-choo.
Badminton's good.
Almost nonstop.
Shoo! Shoo!
Ping-pong.
Move your whole body.
Pah! Hah! Hah! Sha!
Also boxing.
The rhythm--
bam-bam-bam-bam.
Bam! Bam!
Training is very
important, yes.
(Alarm blares)
The main vault.
I apologize in advance
if Jade has been on
one of her "talisman raids."
(Alarm stops)
Alarm circuit
disengaged.
I'm sorry.
Do you have clearance?
Captain black.
You did know
my technicians
would be installing
the new vault
security system today?
Must have missed
the memo, hirsch.
Ooh, I bet the higher-ups
heard I cracked
the old system.
Heh heh.
Jade has a very active
imagination.
(Whirring)
What are those?
Those would be
level 3 classified.
The kid's right.
Sorry, hirsch.
Classified or no,
those are not
on my list, captain.
They will have to go.
What?!
- What?!
I'll handle this,
Jackie.
You are so busted.
(Blows raspberry)
Black here.
Operations is insisting
we remove level 3 classifieds
from the vaul--
the talismans, sir.
Right.
The magic ones.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I see.
Well?
- Well?
We have to clear
the talismans
out of the vault.
Pronto.
Captain black is trying
to pull strings
with Washington,
but it does not look
promising.
Hmm.
What's
the big whoop?
We can keep
the talismans here
in one of uncle's
magic boxes.
The risk is too great.
The talismans
will be safest
from dark forces
on sacred ground.
We must take them
to the Ben-shui temple.
But--but isn't that,
like, near China?
Jade, the talismans
are unpredictable,
dangerous.
You should not be
playing with them
in the first place.
(Blows raspberry)
(Snip)
Testing.
I'm in.
I'm gonna miss you guys.
How about one last
hurrah,
for old times' sake?
Hmm.
(Hydraulic humming)
Uh-oh.
Huh?
Aah! Ooh--
(groaning)
Man: Section 13's a long way
from Washington,
captain black.
Black: I promise your trip
will be worthwhile, sir.
(Gasps)
Black: Follow me.
Once you see
just how powerful
these talismans are,
I'm sure you'll agree
it's imperative
we keep them here,
under lock and laser.
Whew.
Those guys must be blind.
Observe.
The power of
Invisibility.
Astonishing, isn't it?
I could be over here.
Or perhaps
I'm over here.
Hmm. Must not be
doing it right.
Never mind.
Let's try
Levitation.
(Grunting)
Uhh
IDon't understand.
It's--
running a section
can be very stressful,
captain black.
I'm authorizing 2 weeks
of r and r,
effective immediately.
I suggest you get
as far away from here
as possible.
I'm very sorry
about this.
You should be sorry.
We are not used to
traveling with outsiders.
You are ruining
our feng shui.
UhI meant
about the talismans.
I just couldn't
get the rocks
to work their magic.
You gotta have
the right touch.
Jade
Not even for
demonstration purposes?
No.
Rats!
Now, be a good girl
and play with your moose.
Guh-huh!
Right on,
Mr. mean jeans.
Yes
Magic approaches.
Potent magic.
Huh?
The talismans
of shendu!
Gan. Chui. Ren.
Reclaim the talismans
for the forces of darkness.
(Groans)
We must rest now.
Because the sun is high?
Because uncle
is pooped.
Right.
I'll scout ahead.
I'm not tired.
I'll scout, too.
Last one up the trail
is a monkey's talisman.
Ahoy there!
(Gasps)
Ahh!
You must be
the Ben-shui monks.
No! They're daolon wong's
dark warriors!
Hello!
Evil forces ahead.
Bad chi rising.
Why are you ignoring me?
What a coinkidink.
We were just on our way
to your temple
to give you these.
Jackie!
Jackie! Jackie!
Wake up!
Wake up!
- (Snoring)
Aah!
What am I doing there?
Astral projection?
But I didn't touch
the tal--
talk to myself later.
Jackie! Wake up!
(Sputtering)
What?
What is it?
Dark warriors!
That way!
You guys sure don't
talk much.
Vow of silence?
Jackie:
Captain black, no!
Uncle: They are impostors!
(All gasp)
Whoa, Nellie.
Jackie!
Take the talismans
to the temple, quickly!
Uncle! Jackie!
You won't believe this,
but--
wha--
no! The talismans!
The talismans!
Daah!
Hand over the talismans!
Huh?
Broken?
Told you.
Ohh!
The forces of darkness
have just grown
more powerful.
Do not be concerned,
friends.
The power of the talismans
lies within.
You got them back?
Jackie, Jackie.
The holy man speaks
in the mystical sense.
As in, "may the force
be with you."
Or, "we are the world."
Right?
Oh, no, no.
The power of the talismans
truly lies
Within.
Jade: Jackie, check it out!
I'm super strong.
Super fast.
Super gone.
Super chimp.
Super talisman powered.
I'm t-girl!
H-h-h-how?
Not sure, but I think
each finger controls
a different power,
which would leave 2
unaccounted for.
Not what I meant!
Oh. Not sure how
it happened.
Maybe
(Gasp) When I got zapped
in the vault.
Duh.
Aah!
Aah!
- Aah!
Whoa.
So that's how I do
heat beam eyes.
Maybe dragon blast
is my bellybutton.
No, Jade!
No dragon blast!
The powers must be
returned to their
proper vessels,
with a restoration spell.
Ohh
But we must first retrieve
the talismans themselves.
Well, what are we waiting for?
Let's find wong and stomp
his ancient, shriveled--
but, Jackie,
I have the power.
Which daolon wong wants.
Which is why
you must stay here
Safe.
The power of
Invisibility.
Am I over here?
Or perhaps over here?
Uuh?
Pah!
Dragon blast!
(Exasperated snort)
Heat beam eyes!
Forgeries!
We have been tricked!
(Sighs)
Rooster, ox, snake,
rabbit, sheep,
monkey, tiger, dog,
horse
Rat!
Haven't put that bad boy
to the test.
Motion to the motionless.
Guh-huh.
Why are we stopping?
Uncle has the willies.
Daolon: That's not all
that you have, old man.
Surrender the talismans
and--
let me guess.
No one gets hurt.
Who is this joker?
Whoa!
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
Daolon wong
is a very powerful
dark chi master.
No joke.
Now, where have you hidden
the real talismans,
chi wizard?
That would be
none of your beeswax.
Very well.
Ren!
Hyah!
Jade--
thank me later.
And, please, call me
T-girl!
And let's hear it
for her trusty sidekick
supermoose!
Guh-huh.
So
The talisman powers
reside within you.
Jade, no!
Horse and dog, Jackie.
I'm self-healing
And immortal to boot.
Seize her!
Guh-huh.
Antler action!
Pow!
Bam!
Ooh! Uhh! Uhh
Ooh
Heartbreaker.
(Sniffing)
Whoa--
uhh! Hey!
My warriors can smell
your magic.
Huh! Huh!
Huh! Hyah! Huh! Whoa!
Hyah! Hyah!
Lion!
And this one's
for the moose.
Aah!
- Aah!
- Aah!
Jade!
Heh. Had heat beams
in my eyes.
Huh!
Timber.
(Chanting)
All right, chi whiz.
Are you gonna go
quietly,
or do I have to
smoke you, too?
Wha--
uhh! What the hey?
ICan'tMove!
From the neck down
like your helpless friends,
so that you may not
draw power
from your fingertips.
Jackie: Jade! No!
Black: Don't make me
come over there.
Jade: Jackie!
(Grunting)
(Grunting)
Do not waste your strength.
Someone will come.
Let us hope
it is not a wolf.
Or a yeti.
Well, they have those
here, right?
Guh-huh.
This is a job
for supermoose.
(Humming)
I told you
someone would come.
LetMeGo!
I had hoped to possess
the talismans,
but I shall instead,
like yourself,
become them.
Yeah? Too bad you can't
get them out of me.
Can't I?
(Sniffing)
Hope he knows
where he's going.
Ow!
He is born
of talisman magic!
And magic seeks magic.
(Chanting)
Supermoose:
Da da da dah ta-dah!
Antler action!
Ohh!
Uhh! Gaach!
Whoa!
Gan! Ren! Chui!
(Gasp)
Ooh, let's rumble!
Right beside ya.
No!
Uncle needs
your assistance!
Jackie. Hello!
I may be a rag doll,
but I'm still t-girl.
Ohh!
Booster from
the rooster.
My pinky!
Chihuahua!
(Yipping)
Cute.
Dragon blast would be nice
right about now.
But heat beam eyes will do.
Hand over the girl.
Come and get me.
(Blows raspberry)
Whoa.
The tongue
is dragon blast. Wha--
(chanting)
T-girl!
Ohh!
(Chanting)
Guh-huh.
(Repeating chant)
(All chanting)
(Chanting)
(Blows raspberry)
Save your breath,
child.
The absorption process
has begun.
(Black, uncle,
and supermoose chanting)
(Chanting continues)
You are too late.
I have become
the talismans--aah--
(chanting continues)
Guh-huh.
Got my bones back.
I will have my revenge,
old man.
Nice spell.
All that daolon
absorbed from Jade
was a taste of
his own dark chi.
And the talisman powers
have returned to
their proper places.
Jade: Ohh
Do we have to leave
the talismans here?
Yes, Jade,
I'm afraid that we do.
(Cell phone rings)
Black here.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yes, Mr. vice president.
I fired off a memo
about the talismans
before we left, and
Let's just say
the veep's very intrigued
and wants a demonstration.
Jackie, I think
we should celebrate
by using
the horse talisman
to heal moosey.
The little fella
did dig us out
of a real mess, Jackie.
Seems the least
we could do.
(Sighs)
This is the last time.
Cool!
(Gasp)
Oh, boy.
Uh, what was
the dragon blast doing
in the horse talisman?
(Gasp) Uncle,
I fear there has been
a mix-up.
Hmph!
This never happened
to t-girl.
Hey, Jackie!
Yes.
What sorts of things
do you do to stay in shape?
Basically, training
with my stunt guy,
with my student,
3 hour a day.
Lift weight.
Fast--choo-choo-choo
choo-choo.
Badminton's good.
Almost nonstop.
Shoo! Shoo!
Ping-pong.
Move your whole body.
Pah! Hah! Hah! Sha!
Also boxing.
The rhythm--
bam-bam-bam-bam.
Bam! Bam!
Training is very
important, yes.