Happy Days (1974) s03e01 Episode Script

1
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪
Ready to race to you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪
Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
Saturday, what a day ♪
Groovin' all week with you ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪
Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days ♪
Are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours ♪
And mine, Happy Days! ♪
Wake up, little Susie ♪
Happy Days is filmed before a live audience.
All right, you stay up there, little ball
till I tell you to come down here.
You're getting close to the record, Fonz.
Hey, I can read.
Be careful, you'll tilt.
I'll tilt your face!
All right!
You tell Arnold to get a new machine in here.
That one is whipped.
Can I have your free games, Fonz?
Hey, the machine is closed.
Who's the old lady?
That old lady happens to be my grandmother.
What about it?
Charming woman.
Did you enjoy the game, Grandma?
I sure did.
Can we go home now?
Oh, yeah, why don't you go outside and start up my bike?
Sure thing!
Hey, uh, don't forget to wear your helmet.
All right!
I never knew you had a grandmother, Fonz.
Everybody's got a grandma.
Now, I haven't seen her since I was six years old.
That's when I left the house.
She's been, uh staying with me for a while.
Oh, you been showing her the sights?
Yeah, we saw the brewery.
Hey, easy on the gas, Grandma!
She's got to use both feet to start it.
Anyway, she's going back to Florida tomorrow.
Yeah, well, the two of you really seem to hit it off.
Oh, yeah, she's cool.
She goes to bed at 8:30.
But you know, what the hey?
Hey, Fonzie.
Hello, very short kid.
There's an old lady stealing your bike.
Oh yeah, yeah. Whoa, later.
Are you going to hang around here?
No, and neither are you.
Richie, you've got to come
home right away, right this minute.
Who died and left her boss?
Sit on it, Malph.
Well, what's wrong, Joanie?
It's Dad. He's got a big announcement to make.
Hey! Hey, maybe he's getting a new car.
I don't know. He came home early,
and piled all his medicine on the table.
His ulcer medicine?
Yeah. And said he wouldn't talk about it
till all his loved ones were around him.
Yeah, doesn't sound like a new car.
Maybe he's getting an Edsel.
Sit on it, Pots.
Oh, good!
I found him. He was at Arnold's.
Well, now we're all here.
Will this take long?
I'm supposed to go over to Mary Jane's house.
She got the new Fabian record.
Quiet!
Well, what happened? What's the big news?
I don't want to upset anybody, and
maybe I'm making too much out of this.
Well, what is it, Dad?
What is it? Tell us!
We're ruined.
Can I go over to Mary Jane's now?
Not yet, dear.
Well, I just thought you'd all like to know.
How are we ruined?
Freifeld's Fish Market, Marion,
they're going out of business.
Freifeld's, that's the big fish market
across the street from your store?
Aha
Right, well, what's replacing the fish market?
A new hardware store?
You're worried about another hardware store opening up?
It's not just another hardware
store, Marion, it is a monster!
Hardware Village!
It's three stories high,
and it's got an escalator and a credit department
and 600 different kinds of nails!
You know how many kinds of nails I sell?
Two!
Rusty and not rusty.
I can't compete with that!
Hey, where's our bankbook?
Bankbook? Well, it's in the desk. Oh!
Now, Howard, remember your ulcer.
How can I forget it?
It's been tap dancing all day long.
I think you're upsetting the children.
No, no, now, if there's trouble,
I want to know about it.
No, no, there's no trouble.
Man works 23 years in the same business, saves $58?
There's no cause for alarm.
Well, what about our savings bonds?
Our dream for the future?
Don't you remember, Marion?
We cashed them in for the new cesspool.
Sit down, Marion.
Now, look, let's get down to cases.
First thing tomorrow morning,
I've got to go out and scout
for a new location for the store.
Meanwhile, we've got to find some money somewhere.
I never thought I'd have to say this,
but I need my family's help.
You're going to ask your father for money.
No, Marion, this family, the three of you.
I need your help.
Fine. Dad, you need my help?
You got it.
Isn't that nice?
I got it?
What have I got?
I'll get a job.
I've helped you at the store.
I know hardware, Hardware Village must need people.
Did you hear that?!
He's going over to the enemy, Marion.
He's going to teach them all of my tricks!
All right, I'll get a job.
I'll go back to being a secretary.
Oh, that's great, Marion.
Then we have to go and hire a housekeeper
and that will cost us money.
I can beg, that's cheap.
Dad, there are plenty of ways that we can help out,
even if you don't want us to get jobs.
What ways?
Name one way.
Well, uh, we, uh, we could, uh
Well, there are just all kinds of ways.
All right, come on, Marion, let's hear it!
Well, tell him, Mom.
There's nothing!
Now it's going to cost me $20 dollars
to clean the carpet.
I'll clean it for ten!
Never mind. I'll clean it.
Now, Howard, there's just all kinds of ways.
We could take in a boarder.
Another mouth to feed, Marion.
No, we don't have to feed him.
Oh, great, we'll have a dead body on the staircase.
Wait a minute.
The boarder doesn't have to eat with us,
he doesn't have to live with us.
No, he could stay at a motel.
I don't think he'll pay us much, though, Marion.
We can rent out the room over the garage.
The attic?
The attic. It has a separate entrance,
and it's got plumbing,
and it's got electricity and a bathroom.
How much do you think we can get for it?
Boy, it would really take a lot of work.
I'll do the work. How much do you think
we can get for it? Enough.
Admit it.
It's a great idea, Dad.
Yeah, it's a great idea, Dad.
Good, I won't have to beg.
Oh, look, if I seem difficult tonight,
I hope you'll all understand.
Well, when a when a breadwinner begins to feel that
he's not winning the bread anymore, he gets
a little nervous, and if I was too hard on all of you,
just try and understand.
Besides, whoever dreamed
that you would have come up with such a good idea?
Sit on it, Howard.
Hey, Fonz!
Hey, Fonz!
Hey, a new machine.
All right, clear the field.
Don't play this machine, Fonz.
You'll only get mad.
Come here.
Pinball machines do not make me mad.
I make them mad.
Right, Fonz.
Get out of here.
Well, good luck with it, Fonz. I've got to go.
I'll see you later. Oh, yeah? Hold it.
The Fonz is about to play a new machine.
Who walks out?
Nobody, Fonz, nobody.
Yeah, yeah, but see, Fonz, I got to get home.
My mom's waiting for me and ever
Hey, I don't want to hear about
your family obligations. I've got enough of my own.
From who?
My grandmother.
I thought she went back to Florida.
Yeah, well, she changed her mind.
She decided to move here to Milwaukee permanent.
She says that Miami Beach don't give her
the, uh, cultural advantages.
Whatever they may be.
All right.
Oh, uh, where's she staying, Fonz?
With me, I told you that.
Now will you let me get down to business
and get off the machine?
Well, do you like her staying with you?
No, I don't like her staying with me.
Her support hose are in the sink,
she leaves her teeth everywhere,
and she buys me cardigans.
Now can you picture me in a cardigan?
That's for nerds!
Yeah.
Man, I've got to find her a place of her own.
I've got the place, Fonz.
It's a perfect place.
Well, lead the way.
All right, come on, Granny, you can make it.
Only six more steps!
Oh, maybe it's too much of a climb for her.
No, it's not. No, it's not.
Here we go.
All right, Grandma, these are the Cunninghams,
a very lovely Midwestern family.
Hello. How do you do?
And this is my grandma, Mrs. Nussbaum.
Nussbaum?
I've been married a few times.
Well, how do you like it, Grandma?
Well, it's kind of a schlep.
That's Miami talk.
Well, now, you take
a good look around, Mrs. Nussbaum.
Now, don't make any hasty decisions. Just
Nice
Well, look, why don't you just sign these papers
and then you can move in tomorrow?
Yeah, and I'll bring your stuff up.
You're rushing her.
Oh, I don't know.
I like your place, Skippy.
Skippy?
Hey! You didn't hear that!
Your building has games: Mah jong, and canasta games
Oh, well, my family will play with you.
I don't know any of those games.
You'll learn!
Is it expensive?
We're asking $50 a month.
It's a great price and it's a great room!
A great price!
Look, this is a great bed,
and in the daytime it becomes a couch,
and a couple of windows, and, uh, funny roof.
What do you say, Grandma?
You want to take it?
It's just not me.
I'm sorry. Oh I'm sorry, folks.
I'll be right down, Grandma.
All right, I'll start the cycle.
Look, Mrs. Nussbaum, we can put in some improvements.
We'll paint with a carpet!
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
Yeah, you and me both.
Now I'm never going to get her out of my joint!
And this is such a nice place, too.
You like it, Fonz?
I just said I did, didn't I?
Well, listen, why don't you take it?
Yeah, and what am I going to do with my grandmother,
put her in storage?
No, no, she stays at your place, and you move in here.
Cunningham, I knew I wasn't wasting my time with you.
Huh? Give me that paper.
All right, you got a deal!
This is Fonzie's new place.
You're not going to regret it.
No, I'm not.
I'm going to go home and pack right now.
Oh! Mrs. Cunningham, this is a great touch.
Very nice.
Could use a few more mirrors, but very nice.
Hey!
Yeah, I-I did it!
Dad is going to be so happy.
You know, I rented the place and I got his price for it.
Well, maybe we should have waited till he was here.
Sometimes I just have the feeling he doesn't like Fonzie.
Oh, sure he does, that's all just an act.
Now, listen Mom, I want you to let me be the one
to tell Dad, okay?
Boy, oh, boy, she really didn't want this apartment.
She threatened to do a wheelie over my foot.
Dad, I've got some great news for you.
What's that?
I rented the apartment.
To who?
Fonzie.
Howard!
He's our son!
He's your son, Marion! Oh for
My pills, where are my pills!
HOWARD. Marion, Fonzie is not a bad kid,
but I just don't want him living in my house.
I'm sorry, we're just going
to have to tell him it won't work.
Oh my goodness, he's moving in already.
I never saw so many combs in my life!
Dad, will you look at this?
Fonzie gave us three months rent in advance.
I didn't touch it.
It's not mine until I touch it.
Oh, Howard, Fonzie's been around here a lot.
I think you're being very silly.
Dad, Fonzie is not going to change our lives.
That's not what you told Ralph on the phone.
You said there'd be women
running through here day and night. Be quiet!
And there'd be plenty of leftovers.
Women? Joanie, go up to your room.
I don't want you to hear this talk.
Well, what do you mean? I started it.
Women?
Howard, you're not giving him a fair trial.
There's an idea.
How about a trial?
What trial?
Well, let Fonzie stay here for a month on a trial basis,
and then if you're not happy, Dad, he has to go.
And at least we'll have a month's rent.
Remember Hardware Village, Howard.
Credit department.
Escalators.
500 kinds of nails.
All right, you talk to him.
All right, great.
He can stay a week.
A week?
A week.
All right, here's Monday's comb, Tuesday, Wednesday
Hey, where's Thursday?
Today's Thursday!
Hello, Thursday.
Hey, come on in.
Fonzie's free.
Hey, Fonz.
You all unpacked?
Yeah, almost.
I travel light.
Oh, well, you know,
that's a pretty good idea because,
uh, well, you never know, you might be moving again.
Yeah, right.
You still keep your old schoolbooks, huh?
No, this is my little black book.
This here is A to I.
M to Z?
M to Z, yeah.
You know that M to Z kisses better than A to I?
You know why that is?
Oh, the mysteries of life.
Well, I just need to talk to you
for a second, Fonz. Shoot.
Well, you see, my father thinks that,
well, maybe after about a week or so that
Hey, say no more.
He's afraid I'm going to skip out on him, right?
That's why I gave you all the money.
Fonz is a man of his word.
I should call her.
Well, you see, Fonz
my dad wouldn't take all the money.
He only took a week's worth.
He well, he just wants
to see how it works out first.
Well, I'll tell you,
you tell your father he is a man of character.
Okay, I'll tell you what.
I'll stay here for a week,
and if I don't like it, I'll leave.
Arthur, are you going
to send out some of those change-of-address cards?
Hey, now, that's a thought.
Why don't you wait a week and see how you like it?
Yeah, they'll find me.
Word of mouth, right?
I'll tell you something.
Thanks very much for the invitation to this great meal.
Of course you realize this is a special occasion
and that meals are not included.
Oh, yeah, but I ain't, I ain't available anyway.
But I love your pot roast, Mrs. C.
Well, this is Howard's favorite.
Can't find food like this in a restaurant.
Oh, yes, you can!
I get your meaning, Mr. C., and that's a good one.
Hey, Fonzie! It's me, Vivian!
What was that?
Well that's, uh, Vivian, dear.
Well, I heard that.
Do you have a date tonight, Fonz?
A maybe date.
Fonzie, are you coming out?
This is really embarrassing, huh?
Some people got no class. They just interrupt a great meal.
Don't you ever do that, shortcake.
Fonzie, are you in there?
Hey, will you shut up? We're eating!
Fonzie!
Who's that?
Marko. Something's wrong with my muffler.
Can you fix it?
Will you stop shouting?
You're going to wake up the Cunninghams!
Marion Marion!
What are you talking about? It purrs like a baby.
How come Dad's so late tonight?
He's keeping the store open late
to see if it brings in extra money.
You know, if he'd just let Fonzie stay,
he'd have the extra money.
That is out of the question, dear.
Your father's mood has gotten worse
ever since Fonzie moved in.
Hello, loved ones.
Well, did you do a lot of business tonight, dear?
Not a dime's worth!
I think he's drunk.
Don't be dumb.
He can't walk when he's drunk.
I am not drunk!
Well, why are you dancing around?
Hardware Village went down the tubes!
What happened?
The treasurer of the company skipped off to Brazil
with all the money!
He embezzled?
Yes, isn't that terrible?
I'm just sick about it!
They're going to open up a bowling alley instead,
and we are going to make a fortune in floor wax!
Vive le Cunningham!
That's great, Dad!
Well, we're glad to see you smiling again.
Yes, but that's not the best part of it.
The best part is that today is the day he is out.
His week is up today.
Dad, you know, I've been thinking,
and a week is not a very long time
Is he trying to talk me out of this, Marion?
I think so.
Well, I'd better go tell Fonzie.
No, you don't have to, dear.
This is your father's responsibility.
No, but it was my idea, and besides, I want to do it.
You know, this could really hurt Fonzie.
He's a very sensitive person.
I hope he doesn't throw me down the stairs.
Mom!
There's smoke coming out of Fonzie's apartment.
And I think he's there because I saw his bike! A fire!
What'll we do?! Wait a minute!
Now don't panic. Remember what your father taught us
Cool heads. Right.
Each one of us has a job to do.
Right. I get the extinguisher.
I-I get the ladder.
I get the axe, your father calls the fire department.
Right. Remember, cool heads.
Cool.
Fire!
We got fire!
Don't you knock?
It's an egg! An egg!
Oh, I think you burned the eggs, Vivian.
You thought it was a fire, huh?
Yes, I'm funny that way!
When I see smoke, I think there's a fire!
Tonight, out, out, out!
Darling Out, out, out!
Out, out; The fire, it's out.
Boy, I'm so embarrassed they found us here.
What about my reputation?
So what?
Not every girl can cook.
All right, now listen, you go right down to that corner,
you get on that bus, it'll take you straight home.
Call me.
Watch your little step there.
Hey, is that you, Mr. C?
What are you lurking in the shadows for?
Could I talk to you for a minute, Fonzie?
Yeah, sure, come on up.
Don't they ever sleep?
It's a little late, ain't it?
Yeah, well, it couldn't wait.
Well, sit down.
Thanks.
Richie wanted to talk to you but, uh,
well, I thought it was best if I did this.
It's not easy for me to say this, Fonzie,
but, uh, well, you see, your week is up
Hey, Mr. Cunningham, I'm sorry.
There's something on my mind, I can't hold it back, huh?
I can't stay here anymore, Mr. Cunningham.
What?
I don't mean to leave you in the lurch,
but this is just not working out.
I mean this ain't a mix, you
know, like with the egg tonight?
And yeah, it's a cute roof,
but you park too close to my bike,
and there are a lot of other things.
I'm even sure that there might be one or two things
that I do that annoy you.
No!
Well, it's all settled. Tomorrow morning
I'm packed and out.
If you insist, Fonzie.
Yeah.
Look, I'll get Richie to help you pack.
Come on in, Richard.
Hi, Fonz.
What are you doing out there?
Same as me, lurking in the shadows.
Like father, like son, you know.
Uh, Richard, Fonzie insists on leaving us.
It's too bad, but, uh,
well, it was nice having you here, Fonzie.
Do you mean that?
Well, sure, you're like one of the family.
Does everybody feel that way?
Believe me, more than I do.
Believe him, Fonz.
Yeah, well, good-bye, Fonzie, and good luck to you.
No, no, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Time out, here, time out.
Like one of the close family?
Oh, absolutely!
Wow
Is there something wrong, Fonz?
No, you know that I ain't had a family
since I was six years old, right?
I didn't need 'em.
Feels weird, being part of a family.
It's a good feeling, huh?
I felt a little like that all week long.
Yeah, well, always remember Fonzie, that wherever you are,
wherever you go, we're your family.
Help him pack, will you, Richie?
No, wait a minute, wait a minute.
This changes everything.
What do you mean, where am I going, huh?
I'm staying right here!
You're kidding!
Mr. C., you just hit me right where I live.
One of the family.
Now wait a minute, I'm getting all misty.
I do not want you to see me like this.
What happened?
He got misty.
What misty? I had him!
I had him out the door.
I had him, Richard.
It's all right, Dad.
Now I've got to put up with motorcycles
and screaming girls setting fires
What am I supposed to do?
He's thinks he's one of the family.
Well, it won't be that bad, Dad.
One of my family.
You know it all started that night at dinner, Richard.
Now he's going to be here for Thanksgiving
and Christmas and he's he's going to want
to roll eggs at Easter time.
Well, he's a very handy guy to to have around.
He can fix your car.
Oh, that's great.
I'll be the first guy in the neighborhood
who can go 140 miles an hour in a De Soto.
Are we supposed
to take him with us on our vacation?
No, he's got his own life.
Maybe he'll settle down. He might even get married.
Good, good, then his whole
family will move in and we'll have a
we'll have a Mrs. Fonzie burning eggs in the kitchen
and a lot of little Fonzies running around
in leather diapers
Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪
It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪
Rocking and rolling all week long ♪
These days are ours ♪
Happy and free ♪Oh, happy days ♪
These days are ours ♪
Share them with me ♪Oh, baby ♪
These happy days are yours and mine ♪
These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪